BANGLADESH MKs SPEAK | The purpose of this blog is to bring into the light what has previously been kept in the dark, that is, to publicly identify former ABWE missionary Dr. Donn Ketcham of Allendale, Michigan, as a pedophile and to document ABWE’s cover-up of his crimes in the decades since his pedophilia became know to ABWE administrators and former ABWE President Wendell Kempton, now deceased, in 1989.
This blog documents how the American mission agency Association of Baptists for World Evangelism (hereby referred to as ABWE and located in Pennsylvania), knowingly and purposefully protected both Donn Ketcham’s private and public reputation for over 20 years, by stating in writing and in private communication with inquiring parties that he was dismissed from the mission as a result of “moral failure” or adultery and by failing to report him to proper American authorities from 1989 until 2011.
NOTE: PLEASE REFER TO THE TIMELINE ICON AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE FOR MORE DOCUMENTS AND EXPLANATIONS OF THE LONG JOURNEY TO BRING TRUTH AND INTEGRITY BACK TO ABWE’s MINISTRIES. FOR OTHER CRUCIAL DOCUMENTS AND PAST HOME PAGE UPDATES CLICK ON THE CRUCIAL DOCS ICON AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE.
The comment section below is now closed, but is extensive (1,626 comments in length) and chronicles not only much testimony from key eyewitnesses, but is a window into the emotional struggle of former and present ABWE missionaries, administration, and most importantly former MKs as they grappled with the truth about both ABWE and Donn Ketcham. At the time, blog comments from Bangladesh MKs Speak administrators were posted with the username isaiah618. TO READ BLOG COMMENTS CLICK ON “ABWE & Donn Ketcham” ABOVE AND SCROLL DOWN WHEN THE POST OPENS IN A NEW PAGE.
Child Abuse by Missionary Doctor 
Negative responses are probably very important, especially if there’s actually no “revelation” in the initial post, only “unsubstantiated accusation”. I lived in Bangladesh as an MK from 1981 to 1984. When the Ketchams were there (which they were for a good portion of that time) and one of the most frequent residences that I stayed in was with the Ketcham family. I have many, many fond memories of times spent with the Ketcham family and never did anything even remotely questionable occur between Dr. Ketcham and myself. I am also absolutely unaware of any incident that would even be remotely questionable that occurred to anyone else with regard to Dr. Ketcham. In my experience there, I can recall that it was not very often that the Doctors were alone with kids (just due to the nature of life and their demands at the hospital) and for the most part the kids all roamed in packs, segregated by age group. Obviously, I was not there all the time, but I venture to say that in the time that I was there, I probably spent more time actually physically in and around Dr. Ketcham’s presence and home than most other kids there at the same time period (1981-1984). And I spent more nights in the Ketchams house than in any other house. I highly doubt there will be responses here that detail any abuse by Dr. Ketcham. I certainly hope that the initiator of this blog has the moral courage to leave up the responses like mine, which I’m guessing will be the vast majority of responses (as one would naturally hope). And I hope and pray for the initiator of this blog that they have sought professional counseling for what they experienced and that their identification of Dr. Ketcham as the perpetrator of such heinous offenses is based on a solid memory of an actual crime and not some tragic misunderstanding. I am dubious that there is factual truth to this accusation (note very carefully that that is not the same thing as denying that Isaiah6:18 had a traumatic experience!). I am sensitive enough to human trials that I hope Isaiah6:18’s perception about what happened to them gets very closely examined and that the responsible party for that perception/reality gets properly confronted by the proper authorities and not pilloried without justification in a public forum such as this.
((Recommendation to Isaiah6:18 — put up your story or take down this site. From a psychological viewpoint — and proceeding from the assumption that something must have happened to you or you wouldn’t be taking this action — you might be more likely to have someone step forward to say that happened to them too, instead of, as it would be currently, that they would be the first to describe such.))
Nathan,
I’m thankful that you weren’t molested by Dr. Ketcham. I , however, was ,as were several other girls. You must not be aware that Dr. K was dismissed from the mission because of having a sexual relationship with 14 year old girl, who was 12 when the molestation started. Even the mission does not deny that. As for “unsubstantiated accusations”, we will be putting documentation on the website that does substantiate the accusations we are making. I hope that you will listen and read with an open mind while women tell their stories. I am confident that the truth will prevail.
Susannah, thank you for your generously kind response to me! When I challenged my family about this immediately after posting, I’ve since learned much more that I should have been told long ago. I wish you all the success in your endeavor for justice. I applaud your courage in posting my ignorant (in the purest sense of the word) comment and I hope that it may provoke those with the stories, that must most unfortunately be heard and, to provide their very different experiences they had, refuting my experience. For me, this news is only moments fresh and I’m pretty angry, and I pray that I can find even a fraction of the courage you have demonstrated to reach a Christian way of dealing with my feelings.
Nathan,
Thank you so much for your quick reply. It really encouraged me. I will do my best to keep this blog impartial and pray that the truth will come out.
I too have found the song “Blessings” to provide comfort during the difficult days I’m going through. A beautiful song.
Nathan,
I was first of all so taken back by your comments in your first letter. My initial reaction was irritation and anger that you would try to blow a smokescreen at the onset of this blog, casting doubt in the minds of the average, uneducated reader with Bangladesh ties. You can imagine my relief when I saw your second post admitting that you are just learning the truth of the wickedness committed against a child…a child who could just as easily have been YOUR little sister. It is truly amazing to me that you are just now learning of the crime that has affected me and my family for decades…something I go rarely a day without thinking about. (That is not a very big exaggeration….it is something that I frequently think about even in the rearing of my own children. Imagine my response EVERY TIME my child is invited to a play date or overnight at someone’s house. Imagine my response EVERY TIME someone at church shows a little extra attention to any one of my children. I have to battle mistrust and doubt of people (most often, men) on a regular basis!) However, I must admit that I cannot be totally surprised that this is new information to you because when the abuse became public, it was handled incorrectly (illegally had it been in the USA) and VERY quietly. Improper, indeed harmful, counsel was given to the family on how to handle it and there have been years – decades – of trouble and consequences in the lives of many as a result. The poor, ungodly way that ABWE handled the sin of Donn Ketcham has had a ripple effect that reach our families even today (families who, as alluded to earlier, at that time existed only in the mind of God).
You know, recently, I saw the letters that both ABWE and Donn Ketcham sent out to supporting churches as a result of his “dismissal” from the field. It was appalling. Twenty plus years after the crime became public in Bangladesh, we are just learning how they covered it up in vague enough terms that any reader would come to the sad conclusion that Donn Ketcham had been unfaithful in some way to his wife and children. (Which was true.) It was SO vague that you could not even come to a conclusion as to how…an affair? Pornography? Simply inappropriate behavior? It left the reader believing the best. That, my friends, is shameful. Donn Ketchum is a known pedophile and he was permitted to return to the USA and continue practicing medicine for the past 25 years! In my opinion – and admittedly it is a very unprofessional, biased, and motherly opinion – the way it was handled leaves a great many people legally responsible for not reporting a crime. (I don’t really care if it happened on US soil or not…there is a universal law of morality to follow!)
I pray, oh do I pray, that women of every age come forward and share their story with the world here. ABWE and Donn Ketcham need to be reminded of their stories and take responsibility the way God would have them to.
God does work all things together for our good and His glory. I believe that with all my heart. But the women who are suffering as a result of these crimes (and there are more than one) have a hard time believing this truth. They have lived lives of the “guilty”. They and their families have been “blacklisted” from the ABWE circle. Meanwhile, Donn Ketcham continues to be lifted up as one of “the great” – both missionary and doctor. If only people knew the truth.
God’s Word is going forth round the world…presented by godly men and women who are unknowingly serving under a board who would cover up such a terrible crime. I worry for their children! I worry for those mothers who have no idea that if this were to happen to them and their precious child, they would receive little to no love and support from the home office, let alone justice. It is shameful, but true. And for the furtherance of the gospel alone have people like me (and your family, Nathan) kept quiet through the years. No one wants to see ABWE or their harvest laborers hit with a blow of this magnitude. And yet it is the right thing to do…it is right to “come clean” with the stories of these beautiful women. God has often comforted my heart with the reminder that justice is His and His alone. Any “justice” I could manufacture would fall terribly short of God’s. I have longed for this day when the victims would cry out and share their stories. I have longed even more for the day when ABWE would take responsibility for the crimes they covered. And I have longed for the day when Donn Ketcham would confess his sin of pedophilia, resign from the medical field, take whatever punishment would come his way, and then prepare to stand before the Lord as a forgiven man by both Jesus Christ and his victims.
Friends and fellow MK’s who have a hard time with this being drudged up again (or who might be learning of this for the first time), be wary of your initial response. We all know and admit how we all fell in love with “Uncle Donn” and his charming ways. We know that he was indeed a great doctor and missionary. However, stop to consider your own children. How would you feel if your child was molested over a two year period and improper and incomplete action was taken? Think of your jr. high aged daughters, nieces, sisters….if this had happened to them and then was swept under the carpet…would you not be broken hearted as well? Would you not rejoice in the truth as it is finally revealed…for you know the truth will finally set people free? Before responding in anger and defense to this blog – put yourself and your child in these shoes and then walk a mile or two. God will grant you new compassion. I’m sure of it.
I love you all – I pray for you! The road ahead will not be easy but I know God will be glorified and I eagerly await that day when we will stand forgiven and rejoicing, side-by-side before Jesus. Yes, even beside those who hurt us most.
To God alone be the glory.
Diana,
All I can say in response is a great big “thank you”. Your eloquently written post touched me deeply and helped give me courage to persevere. It is so encouraging to be believed .
Diana, you are very right. I hope you understand that a VERY large part of my feelings right now are because you and your sisters have a special place in my heart. I have so much more to say…but this probably isn’t the appropriate place…
Isaiah618 — A more humble suggestion — is there a way for people to commit to helping or supporting who are not victims with stories? You have my email, please contact me; I would very much like to help in any way I can.
Nathan,
Thank you so much for your offer of support. That means so much right now. For now the main thing we need is your prayers but I will definately contact you via email if I think of any other ways you can assist us.
Nathan – thank you! You hold a big spot in my heart, too! Your entire family does…I am indebted to your parents and, most of all, your sister (the best of best friends in the world), for their loving support of me and my family through the ups and downs of this.
Wow! Nathan, I myself would have to say that reading your first comment was very hard. I did take into consideration that you possibly did not know. That is very possible with many of those who will post. The mission board asked us to not talk about it at all. We were not even able to talk about it in our own home. Can you imagine what that did to us as a family? Over the years we have learned to keep giving it back over to the Lord because vengence is not ours (though there were many times we could have handled it just fine!) I was glad to see you post another comment letting us know that you did not know. The feelings you felt when you found out…..multiply that 1000’s of times. But when we were told, and not by our own parents, we didn’t believe it ourselves. Knowing Don Ketchum, as you did, we never thought he would be that way. But when our parents told us what happened it made us very angry, upset, wanted to really hurt him…but love his wife. So many feelings that we went through in a few days and then for many years to follow. Had we not been the family we have been and had the parents we have had I seriously do not think we could have made it. Then not mentioning all our wonderful friends who have stood behind each one of us and prayed for us and our sister. I, unfortunately, was the one who went through all the “counseling” period that they supposedly were giving her. I remember how we had such a good sister/best friend relationship before all this happened to her. It would have stayed that way if ABWE had stepped up to the plate and did what was right. But when it all came out in the open and because we could not talk about it our relationship was no more. A very casual relationship. As if we were not even family. Not only that but then watching your parents hearts be so torn and could not discuss it with their own daughter (s). How many nights I laid in bed crying and asking God to take the pain away! And once again we could not discuss it with ANYONE!
I want to let Susannah and my sister know that I am very proud of you both. As I recall talking to my sister one day on the phone she told me “I just want the other ladies to be able to get past this”. I want to help them. Not thinking of herself, though I know this will help her as well. I pray that the other girls (ladies) who were molested would be able like my sister and Susannah make your voice heard. It is your time. Let the healing begin. Like Diana said….She fears and wonders about her children as a mother. I too have a hard time trusting people and I give my children back to God every morning before their day begins. They are not mine, they are God’s to do as He sees fit. But I feel it will be easier to accept what He has knowing I did that every day!
This past week God gave me a new song by Laura Story called “Blessing”. He has a way of doing that for me. I always wonder why certain songs come up at certain times. I know why this one has come up now. For those who have been hurt whether the victims or family members or friends listen to it. This is truly God’s blessing in disguise! I know my heart and the heart of my family is that ABWE and Don Ketchum would just come forward and do the right thing. We want God to be glorified in all of this. I want to let all those who are or have been victims of Don Ketchum that I am praying for you and for your families, and have been. Susannah, like Nate, I am ready to do whatever you need to help you and those who have been hurt. Contact me!
This is a very big and long overdue endeavor to bring justice for these precious girls, now women.
I’m so thankful the victims of Donn Ketcham finally feel brave and supported enough to step up. As Diana said, it is so difficult, as we look at our own children, to imagine this. These women are being so brave right now, and their families as well.
It is truly time to make this public and let God sort out the pieces. Chips will fall, and I pray they will fall on those who must make amends and be held accountable for their actions.
Wanting to protect someone’s spouse, wanting to protect a reputation of a mission board is not acceptable any longer. God’s work will be done with or without ABWE and maybe even in spite of them. It is just TIME for truth and disclosure and for justice.
We are a generation of missionary kids blessed enough because of the times that we live in (sad as they are) to know more about these things and the long-term damage and trauma than our parents’ generation knew at our age, for many reasons. (Maybe we have Oprah and the Catholic Church to thank.)
Mostly because in past generations people assumed it was best to move on and not talk about it, and when people you trust tell you this is what is best, you do it.
But we are a generation of missionary kids blessed enough to know that people who do this do not just do it once, but tend to continue in their sin and crime. Blessed to know it is not the victim’s fault, no matter how much undeserved shame it gives them. Blessed to know that justice is possible, not impossible, no matter how much time has passed. Blessed to be wary and just paranoid enough (we hope) to somehow protect our own children, though we know the parents of these victims were/are just like us and never wanted this for their children. I cannot imagine their pain.
So, I believe that we are blessed to have each other, despite the pain and trauma, and I believe that by supporting the victims, our childhood playmates in a far off jungle, in love and prayers and any other possible ways, we can do something good and right and godly.
You have my full support and love and prayers.
Very wise and well said. It was encouraging to read your post. Here is someone living out the faith.
I believe the reason we as Christians hide our sins is because there are so many in the church who would shame us rather than love us as a fellow broken vessel. It is so easy to see ourselves better than others. We live in a fallen world and are all hiding secret sins. Could you imagine the revival that would take place if we didn’t feel like we had to pretend we have it all together?
Anonymous, I find it so ironic that you are the same Anonymous who goes on to say that this blog is not godly because we are sharing these things with the world.
Did I miss something? Did you read something you didn’t like between this post and that one, a bit further down which caused you to (essentially) retract what you are saying above and say that all of this should be private and that what we’re doing is just vengeance? I am confused about your stand. Are you for living transparently or not? Are you for hiding sin or not? Where is your line?
– Tamara
PS to Susannah. Though we never met, I wore your hand-me-downs in Bangladesh. So we are bonded by Jesus, polyester, and Partridge Family-style dresses. I hope that brings a smile to your face. May God bless you.
I’m so, so thankful that you are bringing this to light. You have a tremendous amount of courage and I would like to help. I’m also a Bangladesh MK whose family was on the field with Dr. K. , and though we were not personally abused, our friends were and we are deeply concerned that things are made right — as right as possible in this life, anyway. Could you email me please?
I am so, so glad this is finally coming out in the open. My heart breaks every person who was abused by Donn Ketcham. While I don’t know the whole story, I have talked a lot about it with another Bangladesh MK, at least what we know. I arrived just after he was discovered abusing an MK and the Ketchams had just left the country. I have never met him.
But the ramifications of how ABWE handled the situation had far-reaching effects. It’s my opinion that by shoving it under the carpet, not prosecuting Donn, and telling everyone to not talk about created a toxic environment of silence. When myself and other girls were abused/assaulted by Bengali men in the streets, no one ever brought it up or asked us if anything was happening. Basically, I think the way the Ketcham situation was hushed up started a precedent of NOT talking about the risk of others to be abused. It’s sick, it’s sad, and it’s unfortunately a common thing to happen in missions groups. But secrecy only hurts victims, and it protects the perpetrator.
And there were so many opportunities to talk to us about it! I remember for weeks and weeks we prayed for one victim to “come back to the Lord” – this was in the mid-90s. But my parents never told us WHY she was struggling. EVER. I remember asking again and again, but they just told me that they couldn’t say. I finally found out when I was in college. I think all the missionaries were instructed by ABWE to not talk about what had happened. I had an inkling that it had something to do with something bad that happened to her in Bangladesh. At the same time that we were praying for her, (I was 13/14) I was being harrassed/assaulted by random men on the streets. If the missionaries had talked about what had happened, and what we should do if we are ever abused in that way….I mean, it would have saved years and years of heartache, confusion, and spiritual crisis. (Counseling helped hugely in my healing, but it’s not like the scars every go away.)
I think things are starting to change. There’s a new focus on child safety; plus, missionaries are screened better than they were years ago. But still, Donn Ketcham remains an honored member of the extended ABWE family. That’s a problem. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it’s an insult to survivors.
I pray that this blog will bring healing and the light of truth to everyone that needs it.
This seems a good time to let everyone know that ABWE started a child protection program last fall to help prevent abuse like Dr. Ketcham’s and to investigate reports of abuse. The current child protection officer is Nancy Hepworth, who was a missionary in Bangladesh after the Ketchams left, but I believe that Dr. Ketcham’s abuse in Bangladesh is a primary reason why Mom is so passionate about it.
The last tweaks on the official wording on the child safety program was finalized just yesterday by the board, and under that wording ABWE can investigate (or have investigated by a third party, as is possible for a case that was mishandled like this) and take steps on abuse cases that are “historical,” i.e., those that happened in the past and for which the victims are over 18 years old. ABWE does need a written report on the abuse before they can investigate or hire an investigator.
That’s about all the information I have right now about it. If you would like Nancy Hepworth’s email address, just let me know.
Becky,
I am an MK, and I have a story too… I won’t go into details here, but I would like Nancy Hepworth’s e-mail address please!
ABWE does have written reports on file. The Bangladesh Field Council has written reports on file. Never before has that influenced ABWE to do what was right. Why now? My belief is that ABWE knows the writing is on the wall and they are now scrambling. I’m sure they are well aware of the New Tribes bust (if you will) and now realize that they can no longer mess around. WE are not messing around. We are serious. The world is serious (shameful that it takes the world to make Christians respond biblically, isn’t it?). It is time for sincere action on their part. If they are just trying to cover their backs we will see through it. If they are truly going to own up to their wrongdoing, then I expect we will hear from them and it will be like nothing we’ve ever heard before. (And believe me…we have heard A LOT.)
I have to say that I get it that people didn’t know how to handle these kind of things back then. I GET IT. But man up and say that you are sorry. You blew it. You didn’t mean to then, but you’ve since realized that you really screwed up. And make it right to the best of your ability. This “program” should’ve been put in place YEARS ago…way before my sister was abused. Donn Ketcham should’ve been arrested before my sister ever arrived on the field. His behavior had been questioned enough times that just the shadow of doubt that hung over him should’ve been enough to send him home. But no! The smooth talking, good looking, and charismatic Donn Ketcham prevailed over any doubts that others had. In fact…people had to pretend it wasn’t there or go home. Period. The name “Donn Ketcham” trumped everything. Shameful. Embarrassing. I must admit, ABWE, that if I were you I, too, would be ashamed if I had to admit that I had played favorites. But its about time you admit it and do what is right.
Please, PLEASE – let’s not be afraid to talk about it anymore. Join hands with us and share your story on this blog. Whether you are the victim or a parent or sibling to a victim – PLEASE tell us about it and let us assure you of our love and support.
First, I have to apologize to my brother for not telling him. It’s hard to talk about, so we just don’t. And I know I was in denial. I didn’t ask a lot of questions when I found out. I buried myself in my own life. We are talking about it now, believe me.
I meet regularly with a group of Christian women going through the 12 Steps, some of whom suffered sexual abuse in their childhood. These women are in their 40’s and 50’s are just now finding courage to tell a small group of women a tiny fraction of what they’ve suffered. The damage it has done to their lives is extensive and deep.
I say this because if anyone doubts these stories because it has been so many years & why wouldn’t they have told long ago, it’s because that’s part of the heinous nature of abuse. And why I believe God reserves a special “millstone” for those who abuse children — because that’s what abuse becomes for the victim, a millstone that weighs down their life.
Dear friends who have lived with nightmarish secrets, I’m praying for you to find the strength and courage to tell your story so that we can grieve with you over the childhood and innocence he took away from you.
My heart is also broken for parents who were at a loss as to what to do for their beloved daughters as the leadership they looked to for care and guidance did damage control.
Christians HAVE to talk about these things. And we HAVE to “do justice.” There is so much evil in the world. We perpetuate it by silence. It is painful to have secrets pulled out into the light. But once they are, that’s where real healing can begin.
I’m praying that everyone who has lived with the burden of guilt about keeping silent on these things will come forward now and support these beloved women. I’m praying for ABWE to admit their wrongs and make restitution that is long overdue, and I’m praying that Donn Ketcham confesses his sins so that he can be healed, and I’m praying that God will miraculously sustain his family.
I love you, my MK sisters.
Donn Ketcham DID confess his sins a long time ago. Christ has forgiven him, so it’s time the rest of you did likewise! If there was forgiveness this blog would not be necessary. Mark 11:25-26 states that if we do not forgive then neither will our Heavenly Father forgive US. Forgiveness is not a feeling it is choice, and act of the will. This verse does not state “first you must seek full justice of the law, make him that has sinned against you grovel in repentance, then, forgive him.”
Marie, Are you referring to a letter of apology or something like that? Or did Dr. Ketcham personally apologize to these women? This was a personal sin against them! Before forgiveness and reconcilliation can take place between two parties, there must be repentance. Has Donn come to these women individually, repenting of his sin against them? None of them have mentioned such an encounter on this blog (I haven’t read all the comments yet). If not, I’m sure that they long for this sort of encounter. Unless that happens, true reconciliation, and true costly forgiveness cannot take place.
Marie, I can’t respond to whether or not Donn confessed his sins. I’m sure he probably did to the extent of what people were led to believe at that time. I’m not here to judge or have any input on that subject. What I do want to say is this. It is hard for me to believe that you have ever truly been betrayed. That word can be tossed about lightly, but if you have ever EVER been truly betrayed you would then know that forgiveness does not come overnight. I agree with you that a person does not have to repent NOR grovel in order to be forgiven. In fact, we are taught to forgive even if the other party does not repent. Forgivness is an act by the victim regardless of the action(s) by the perpetrator. Even if ABWE or Donn never give them a personal apology, (and I do hope they are Christ-like enough to do that), it will be important for each one to forgive. It is our duty, (as I see it) to stand by them and help them heal and get to a point where they can forgive. Again I say…we cannot nor should we demand/expect that of them until they have worked through the “process”. It’s easy for people to say “forgive” if they’ve never been betrayed or gone through such a horrendous situation. Obviously the victims have not been approached or apologized to or we probably wouldn’t be having this discussion. Remember….these memories have been “stuffed” for YEARS. They are JUST NOW able to give voice to what happened. We must be patient and support them. They should be able to say how they feel and what they feel. This is not original with me but “feelings are neither right nor wrong.” I truly believe that in time these women will be able to forgive. I for one am not going to tell them “you have to do it NOW”. When they do, it will be because God has led them through the paths to be able to forgive. That’s my story and I’m stick’n to it.
Marie –
What Donn Ketcham did was CRIMINAL. In the truest sense of the word. It is not enough to take an apology and plea for forgiveness after someone has behaved criminally. There should be consequences for his action. There is a price to pay. Donn Ketcham was protected by the mission board. The girl was shamed by the mission board. Both ABWE and DK have committed crimes and they should be held accountable.
It is a crime not to report the sexual abuse of a child. They should step down and they should be fired. It sickened me to see the rioting after the news of Coach Paterno being fired. He has done much for the school but the story is not about football. It is about young boys who were molested. The parallel to ABWE is amazing. ABWE should take note and there should be many resignations. Where are the churches? Where are the current missionaries in this? I believe the churches hold the key. No money coming in will cause them to take notice.
We continue to follow the site and continue to stand with you in prayer. You are not alone..
Beautifully said, Deb. Love you! Thank you.
Thanks Deb, We need more people, Mks, and their families to come out and say what is on their heart. Its time to take a stand for those we love forgetting what the cost might be. We need to stand for the truth! The stories need to be told. The secrets need to be revealed. Whether you are a parent, victim or sibling now is the time. Parents and relatives of the victims stand up for your daughters/sisters. They need our support in this matter. Lets make our voices heard! Lets help them to come forward with the truth. They have been paralyzed as so many of us have for so long in getting the truth out lets stand behind them and take a stand on God’s word and what He says about sin. I pray that you can and will tell us your story. And in the end give God the praise and glory for all things! Thank you!
Kudos to you ladies who are stepping up and coming forward to reveal the unspeakable actions of a man who was in a position of spiritual leader. You were young, trusting, and most likely, as Christian young women, taught to be respectful to adults. He was older, savvy, and as sly as they come. And he betrayed your trust. And your voices went unheard for so many years! My heart breaks for you all. May this experience, as painful as it is, be a catalyst for other women as well as men who suffered abuse as children to speak up and seek healing that only the Lord can give. I was relating your experience to a close friend of mine, and she opened up and revealed to me the abuse she suffered as a girl at the hands of a close family member. There I was, walking through K-Mart listening to her horrible story on my cell phone while shopping for light bulbs! She told me that she had never told anyone about this, EVEN HER OWN SISTERS” because of the profound shame and embarrasement that she felt. May this be the beginning of openness and healing for her as well as many others. Christian brothers and sisters, it is time to say STOP, E protecting pedophiles, even those hiding behind the mask of Christianity. May God bless each of you with the courage and fortitude to keep going on what will very likely be a tough road ahead of you.
Hello my old friends. I know each of you so well and it breaks my heart to hear all this. I remember the day us MKs were “told” about Uncle (sorry, old habits die hard) Donn and his “affair”. I was with her the rest of that day and the day after as the Ketchams prepared to leave the country. I remember her confusion and pain. I remember my confusion and pain as I watched her struggle. We were never given the full story but we were told to love her, which I did and have. It broke my heart to think of Aunt Kitty and her heartache. It boggles my mind to think that this was more. It breaks my heart and makes me want to cry out in frustration.
It is so frustrating that we as Christians so often want to hide our imperfections and sins. WHY!!??? The Bible was written for ugly people!!! Christ dove into the most horrible places reaching for those lost. Paul speaks of how he was the worst of sinners. It is only through confessing to Christ and each other that we can be free! We should be the FIRST to own up to a crime and take our punishment. Do we think that God is not powerful enough to still work and bring others to himself even when we fail? What prideful thinking. I hope that the new administration at ABWE does take this seriously and openly. So much has changed there in the past few years as the old generation has moved on. I love these people so much, let’s please be praying the they will submit to GOD’s leading on how to handle this. Not their own fears and preconceived notions.
Please know that I will be praying for the whole situation with all my heart. My prayer is that God will break hearts that need to be broken. That justice will be served worthily, not out of vengeance. That hearts that need to heal WILL heal, not because of results, but because of the grace of God, the only thing that can heal anyone.
I am so thankful for your openness and honesty about this situation. It rips open so many wounds and breaks the hearts of anyone who was even remotely involved. But it is a ripping that needs to be done. Please pray for our parents that were on the field at the time. I have spoken to mine and their hearts are broken to hear that more girls may have been abused, but are thankful that if this is true, the light is finally being shed. My dad has always been so careful with his girls and I thank him for his honesty. My folks were always open with us about what they knew, so it surprises me that so many did not know! Nate, how heartbreaking for you to learn this now.
Let’s pray for each other as well. We know that we serve a God of love and compassion and forgiveness. Justice needs to be served, but forgiveness must be served as well. Without forgiveness we are only eaten alive by our own bitterness. Only Christ can give us true forgiveness. He has ALREADY forgiven us even before we ask! We need only to confess and receive it! Please do not make this place a place of bitterness but support and love for each other. For the others who were abused, YOU ARE LOVED!!!! Thank you to my dear friends who have been brave enough to step forward. My heart is with you as it has always been!
Tami
Tami, what you said about being open and honest is so so true. I get very angry (a righteous anger of course 🙂 about “family secrets”. ABWE being the “parent” telling their “children” to basically lie and withhold truth in order to protect an “image”….be it a person or an organization. Sounds like my life growing up. I can totally relate.
Thank you Tami for sharing your heart and support! Prayer is our biggest tool right now! Love and miss you!
Tami,
Thank you for your comments. I also do not want the site to become a place of bitterness, but I do want people to feel free to express whatever emotions they are feeling , and some of those feelings may be bitterness or anger. I also think there is such a thing as “righteous anger”, those things that anger God and should anger us, at the top of the list being child abuse. Maybe we would pay more attention to it if we were truly angry about it. I think of Jesus knocking over the moneychanging tables in the temple.
He was angry! Especially at sin committed in His house in His Name. Personally, I think God is angry right now and that somehow comforts me.
Susannah Baker
Just to let you all know that this kind of behavior was not limited to Donn Ketchem, and the cover-up not limited to ABWE. A very popular MD in a town close by molested his patients and no one dared to raise a fuss. Finally, one brave young lady told on him, and was mercilessly persecuted for her “lies”. I am an older woman and have witnessed through the years how pastor’s cover for one another, hiding the sins of their “brothers”. Just let them take a little time off and then on to another church where they repeat the behavior. I used to feel so “safe” in our denomination, thinking that our pastors were right up there next to God. Now I have to fight being cynical every time I go to church, try not to think.. “I wonder what HE”S up to”…. God bless you dear young women. My heart just goes out to each of you and I pray that God’s comfort will sustain you and yo go through life.
Love, InChrist.. Mary Jayne Borrello
I am so proud of all my sisters — the ones I share blood with AND the ones I share a common bond of experience in Bangladesh with. You are an inspiration — and I am so thankful that it seems our wounded sisters have never really been truly alone (and not just because of God). I have learned there has been quiet support and terrible struggles waged in private. And I feel very deeply that there were moments you FELT alone.
I have been contacted by one of my friends who knows many of you and has been one who has been involved in ministering to at least one of OUR wounded sisters. Her heart is breaking as well with the revelations here that this is a much larger problem than anyone realized. But it also shows on the positive side that there is much more support out there than you may realize too. She has expressed that she wants to respect the intent of the blog — she is one of the allies (and I’m hoping there are many others out there as well). But she is watching as well and is in support.
I forgive my sisters their silence — they know “righteous anger” is much more my style! But I would encourage you all — as has already been repeated here — there’s no further call for silence.
I am so PROUD of all of you for many reasons…I am in awe of your strength and courage. The ripples of what happened to you have spread further than you know and I hope you hear more here of how you are not alone, and the power of your stand will thunder even further!
I am in complete shock as to how many times and how often I have been so near this and so CLOSE to people involved and NOT KNOWN A THING!! Whatever your feelings — do not think for a second that there are just so many people who don’t care! IT IS JUST NOT TRUE!! You have the opportunity here to bond together many who have shared the pain and shared the suffering in support beside you — and, I pray to God, to unite also the rest of us who would stand beside you no matter what!
I don’t have the right to post any more of my thoughts here…but if others approach me and need me to speak on their behalf to this group, I will post for them. I just wanted you to know that there are those in support who don’t feel it is their place to post here but are watching and praying nonetheless!
Tami, I am sorry to have to confirm that it is true that there have been more than one victim. I am also sorry to have this drudged up again and again for Aunt Kit’s sake. No one contests the fact that she was terribly hurt by the sin of her husband. No one argues that we desire to protect her from pain. Unfortunately, Aunt Kit is not the only one who has had to feel the consequences of Donn Ketcham’s wicked choices. She is a victim. So am I. So are my parents and sisters. Not in the same sense of these women who were literally sexually abused but in the sense that the personal hurt runs deep, the consequences are far reaching (into the next generation), and the offense has been life altering for us.
“If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Forgiveness is a two-fold process. I can hold forgiveness in my heart toward an offender but it cannot be fully appropriated until repentance has taken place.
This is where the problem lies. These women and their parents strictly followed the counsel of ABWE through the years (dating back to before my sister’s story), which erred heavily on the grace of God but was not balanced with the justice of God. You cannot separate the two. If God’s justice was not satisfied by Christ’s atonement for my sin I could not be forgiven.
Until you have lived the life of a victim of sexual abuse…or lived a life in close proximity to a victim of sexual abuse…you cannot begin to understand the need for both grace and justice in the process of forgiveness. And we are wrong to insist on tipping the scale toward grace alone.
What the average reader of this blog does not know but they MUST learn and understand is that many (if not all) of these women have realized the importance of this truth over time and have quietly sought for help and answers from both the old and new administration at ABWE. They have been met with rejection time and time again. I can testify of this personally and have held in my hands the black-and-white, dated documentation of another victim’s attempts and the replies from the home office. The stories vary from one to the other, but in the end they are all the same. There has been no help from the home office to bring this to a biblical and God-honoring close once and for all. On the other hand, Donn Ketcham, the perpetrator, has continued to “lead the life of a retired missionary who at one point made a moral mistake (an affair?) but praise God for grace and forgiveness because we can still hold him up before our young people as a great man of God.” This is out of balance with God’s grace and justice. A truly great man of God grieves over his sin, makes it right to the best of his ability, and understands that there are consequences that must be endured.
King David made a moral mistake that resulted in great consequences that affected many people for generations to come and his story is recorded in God’s Word for all the world to learn from! In the end, God brings beauty out of ashes (the line of Christ) but only when there is confession and repentance (i.e., Psalm 51).
This blog needs to be a safe place – where people (both victims and otherwise) can feel the freedom to share their stories and not be afraid of more judgment and condemnation about their lack of forgiveness. If justice had been served 20+ years ago, many of these women, whose childhood and innocence were heinously robbed of them, may have been able to extend forgiveness and experience closure that would’ve surely brought joy and stability back into their lives.
It’s simple math: Grace + Justice = Forgiveness. And God provides all three.
Where do we start? First we want to thank each and everyone of you who have written and shared your hearts. We have the greatest MK’s of any field. We love you all very much. We also want to thank those of you who were with our daughter at the time it was revealed on the field. We were truly amazed at how you loved and encouraged her when we were all told what was happening. It is so
encouraging NOW to see how much you still love and want to support ALL of those who were abused. You MK’s are loved and are so special. The Bangladesh team has been a close family and that will never change .
Nathan we are so sorry that you had to find out this way. Our hearts go out to you.
As has been previously said in many of the comments we were instructed not to tell anyone and NOT to talk about it even on the field. We even asked if we should go home but was instructed to stay and was told our support system was on the field. Our field never had a time to grieve as since we are family it was like a death to all of us.
We as parents were struggling with what we had found out and how to help our daughter and were in a state of shock. We took our administrations advice as we never had to face something like this before. We trusted and did what we were told believing it was the right thing to do. If we could do anything over again we would have came home and gotten counseling right away. We kept it from the Nationals which was hard as well as our families at home and our churches. We didn’t have e mails and phones so communication was hard. I want to thank the missionaries that were on the field at that time how they loved our daughter and tried to help.
We have been through years of seeing how it has destroyed our daughter and still is. We are praying that as people come forth with the truth this will free her.
This almost destroyed our family but through God’s grace we have grown closer with each other. Hearing the hurts in our daughters comments, some we did not know how they felt, know that it is by God’s grace that we have survived. We want to thank our daughters for their comments and are so proud of them as this is opening the wounds again and we see their walk with God. This is the goal of any parent that their children grow in the Lord and we are so proud of each one of them. We love our daughter so much and are praying that this will heal the many hurts, anger and frustrations that you have had all these years. I hope you see how much you are loved.
We know there are many more of you women out there that have been hurt and our prayers are with each one of you as you read this. We are praying that you will take the next step and put your feelings on this blog so you can heal.
We understand what each one of your parents have gone through and still are. It is the most painful experience you can go through to see your child hurt and you keep asking yourself what did I miss.
I am angry in the fact that a few years later we found out that the home office had made serveral trips to the field to check on problems that was told about Donn but went home satisfied and Donn stayed on the field. We felt many times that if it was us or anyone else we would have been told to pack up and go home. In fact one of the missionaries said in my kitchen on the field if he would have fought a little harder our daughter might have been spared. We cried and prayed together.
Susanah we love you and are so proud of you for bringing this in the open in a Godly manner. Let us know how we can help.
Thanks for listening.
One Victim’s Parents
Hi everyone,
My gang and I were on furlough when we heard what Donn Ketcham had done, and we were absolutely horrified. I was gratified and impressed to be told that the Far East regional administrator immediately flew from the States to confront him, have him confess his sin to the assembled group of missionaries, and vacate him swiftly from the field and from service with ABWE. From my admittedly limited vantage point it seemed to me that the mission dealt with the matter appropriately. I am upset to now hear there were other victims. The sin is heinous and the fallout is heart-breaking. May God bless this effort and use it to bring about satisfaction, healing and closure for all concerned.
George King
I am sorry to have to say that the mission leaders at that time(differant leaders than now, I might add) did NOT deal with the matter appropriately! To put it bluntly, they covered up a crime of child sexual abuse. In addition to covering up the crime, by treating it as if it were an affair(which he already had had plenty of) they required a minor, a crime victim, to sign a written “confession” of her sins.
Susannah Baker
Okay everyone…this is blog is horrible! and its emotional rape for the Ketchum family. Do we really need to put Aunt Kit, Becky, and Dave through anymore!? Aunt Kit may be the only person on the planet to know and feel what Grace looks like. We should take a lesson.
Clearly, years ago, this issue was not handled appropriately and I think it is highly unlikely Uncle Don will ever be asked publicly face what has been done. We do not know what has gone on behind closed doors and it is very possible Uncle Don has repented of his sin and asked for forgiveness for his crimes on a personal level. Ideally, he should have done this on public level as well, but really? Would you have forgiven him? It is just as possible that he is pathological and will never “fess up” to any of it. Uncle Don is old, feeble and pathetic. Unless your planning on lynching him are you ready to take the legal action now? I dare say, not. We do injustice to ourselves by hiding behind religion and not venturing out into the secular world when justice is required.
I understand there are women hurting and I understand that more than you know! But, this blog does not feeling like a place of healing but of venting, gossip and God thrown in for justification.
I am a Licensed Mental Health Professional and work work with trauma patients everday to help them make sense of out of thier pain. This is done through extensive, unbiased therapy, all the stages of grief and finally coming to a place of making sense of chaos by understanding thier perpetrator was a broken, pathetic person who was unable to make good choices. There is empowerment in this process. I have seen it.
We are adults and all of this happened forever ago. I know if trauma is not given the chance to heal it will always feel like “yesterday” but without any disrespect for his, “victims” this is not healthy and will only allow for unmanaged pain to fester.
This blog does not bode well for ABWE and the good they have done. Our parents sacrificed their lives and our lives for a greater vision. If it was worth the sacrifice remains to be seen as this crime like these are often the concequence when parents that are incongnito and emotionally unavailable to thier children. However, one bad seed should not mean for a whole tree to be cut down and negate good that has been done. The mission did not handle this well because they were not proffessionals and come from an archaic, religious view that dictates nothing be talked about accept God. The girls and their families had every ability to go against the grain and put legal ramificiations in place. THAT is where the strength in numbers should have been.
What really needs to be done is execerise Grace in the way God talks about and approach Uncle Don. Tell him what you think and see if he asks your forgiveness. Has anyone done this? If so, what was response? Every sin is equal in the eyes of God and whether we like to accept it or not. We live in a broken, sinful world and if Uncle Don never ownes up for this crime than we make sense out of the chaos by holding on to that fact, in the name of God and Salvation.
I am a mother with children and am relieved by each year that passes that hey have not been violated in some way. Mission Fields are infamous for this type of thing its sad. God has been distorted beyond reason for sinful purposes and Satan is getting the last laugh. Maybe even here!
Dear Saddened and Frustrated,
Believe me, we are not hiding behind religion. Beyond that, I don’t trust myself to make any more comments right now about your post except to say it is a perfect example of why women are afraid to come out and tell the truth. I have been informed that the leaders at ABWE are aware of this blog now and I would very much like one of them to respond to this post. That would be a step in the right direction.
Broken Hearted Again
Susannah Baker
Dear Saddened and Frustrated,
What is there about truth, that when people don’t like it, they call it gossip? This is not gossip. This should have been talked about 20+ years ago. It would have been had we not been told to “not talk about it”. Which at the time did not settle well with me. Now we face the reality that you can not cover up the truth forever, it must come out for those who have been hurt….so they can heal.
I hear over and over of this whole “forgiveness”. Like those who were so badly hurt have not forgiven. To be forgiven there is usually an admittance to wrong doing. I never heard an apology from Donn. I waited for it….never heard it. Then forgiving is always possible with God’s help….what about the forgetting. How does one forget the pain even when they have forgiven? I think that is the bigger issue here. I work with Emotionally Impaired kids who have been abused. They are so quick to forgive…..but, still suffer greatly from the abuse. So, don’t be so quick to call this gossip…..it is truth!
“Uncle” George,
Thank you for your comments. As you stated you did not know that there were more victims then the one you know of. But that is what ABWE has tried to hide all these years. As you now know. As far as dealing with the matter…They sent Dr. Ketchum home to the states, let him continue his practice in Allendale, Michigan and my sister as you know was left there to get counseling. That counseling did not do any good b/c it was not a professional that did the counseling. We should have been told as a family to pack up and return home. But b/c of the “popularity” that Dr. Ketchum had and b/c he was such an “asset” to the mission board, they tried to save his backside from being pushed into the ground. My sister has carried this guilt on her shoulders for all these years and for long enough! SHE IS NOT THE GUILTY PARTY! And neither are any of the other ladies that have had to carry this weight! What an injustice ABWE has allowed for these ladies to deal with. I know that when there is sin in a camp God cannot do the work He intends to do. ABWE could’ve and could be more than what it is for the Lord if they had done what was right in the beginning and do what is right now! We are praying for the truth and justice to prevail. I know that the leaders that are in office now are different from those in the past, but they have known about it. We as a family know they have known about it and b/c they did not try to help when they found out they are just as guilty! And they deny the fact that there are no files on record for them to refer to….that is a lie! There are records/files!
Anyway, thanks for your comment. And we covet your prayers!
Dear Saddened and Frustrated.
I’m sorry you see this blog as something that brings pain to Donn’s family. I’m sure it’s true. However, I don’t think their pain can compare to the pain of being molested and raped by a man for years on end in a setting where everyone saw him as the hands and feet of Jesus. I am not speaking of myself, but of those who were his victims. They should not be guilted into silence because the truth is hard for Donn’s family. If the truth is hard, they have no one, truly no one, but their own father/husband to blame for the hurt and pain they must feel today.
Is he “old” and “pathetic”? I wouldn’t know. But it doesn’t make him any less guilty and it doesn’t make ABWE any less responsible for enabling him to continue his sin time after time. Will he ever be held accountable in a court of law? I don’t know. That remains to be seen, and ABWE can either get on the side of justice and truth or continue to hide behind a person they thought was pretty great back then and invoke words like “grace” and “mercy” as if they preclude earthly consequences of sin and the tremendous need to save others from harm.
As for calling this site a place of venting and gossip, that is your opinion. I do not consider discussion of truth that is important for everyone involved and even for total strangers to know–in order to protect themselves–to be gossip at all. I think this site is important for the residents of Allendale, Michigan.
I wrote this the other day, but was not going to post it. I’ve been asked by someone involved in this site to speak my mind on this, and so I will. Here is what I wrote in response to the news that ABWE has a “new” program in response to abuse:
******
I appreciate that ABWE is now (as of the last board meetings) trying to catch up with what the rest of the world has already been doing for several decades in regard to child abuse. However, attempting to begin a fresh and better system of handling pedophilia without ever going back and fixing what I can only hope is their “historical” worst case is mind boggling.
And what do I mean by fixing? I mean calling what Donn Ketcham did a crime. Out loud. Confessing to the Michigan board of medicine that they (the leaders then at ABWE, alive or dead) knowingly allowed a pedophile to go back there and practice family medicine and be involved in churches that were unaware of how deep Ketcham’s sin went. Apologizing to the victims and their families and all families who were exposed to Donn Ketcham, because ABWE played favorites with a deeply sinful man.
The current leadership at ABWE needs to own what they did as an organization back then, and accept the consequences, just as we try to teach our own children that when they do something wrong, they must confess and accept consequences whether it happened a month ago or two minutes ago. There is no statute of limitations on morality.
I recently hoped to plant strawberries in my garden–stay with me on this–only to discover that if you’ve ever had tomatoes growing in your garden, experts do not advise planting strawberries until you can establish that this certain and specific bug (which is drawn to tomatoes and is deadly to strawberries) is no longer around.
Steps have to be taken and time must pass to be sure the bug is not present before you can ever hope to plant strawberries that will grow and thrive in that soil.
Do pedophiles ever stop abusing? Rarely. We have the Catholic Church to thank for a huge case study in that tragic fact. Abusers dig deep into the soil of their sins and continue their destructive ways: choosing a victim carefully and then using them until they move on, get caught, or another victim comes along.
And so in the interest of not being “gossipy” I write this open letter to ABWE: You did not make protecting the families of the Bangladesh ABWE missionaries your priority when it mattered. If you have not made protecting the families of Allendale, Michigan from Donn Ketcham your top priority in your NEW child abuse endeavor, then it is doomed to fail, because you have not rid your soil of the bugs that inhabit it.
*******
Thank you for your articulate and important letter to ABWE and the people of Allendale, Michigan. I live in Kent County and am the mother of a 13 year old daughter. Believe me, I would want to know if a medical doctor had been a perpetrator. How could he continue to practice family medicine?
I do not regularly read the Press but was directed to this blog by someone that believed it was important to read. It is chilling to consider the number of potential victims that one man, in a position of such authority and proximity, may be responsible for. Please continue your work to expose and bring to justice. It is hugely important for this to be brought into full scrutiny.
Just want you courageous women to know that I have contacted Boz at GRACE to tell him that I have a couple of memories to share. I’m not sure if this is the place on this blog or directly to him, no doubt he will tell me. It is kind of amazing that we were never asked by the mission if we had any knowledge or observations about Donn’s behavior or any incidents to report. My heart goes out to those who still suffer from wounds from a childhood that should have been care free. I send a hug to you today, as I hugged and comforted one of you on what I think might have been a very sad day long ago. Naive. God forgive me. A lot of us were naive and ignorant. If memory serves me, at our oasis in the jungle there was a system and practice of warning if there were dangerous snakes on the compound. Sadly, there was a two legged snake and we were not warned, had we been, at least one victim might have been spared and many lives may have been different. I’m praying for all of you. And I’m sorry for being naive. You mothers are informed. Sad that you have to be, but that is good. God is still good, a refuge in times of trouble.
Thank you so much. I appreciate you being willing to contact Boz and tell him of any memories you have.
Susannah
Does anyone know if Donn is still practicing medicine? If my memory serves me correctly, he is a family practitioner, which means he treated people of all ages. If he is still practicing, has anyone gone to the Michigan Department of Community Health to file a complaint? And does anyone know if he is volunteering with any childrens’ activities at his church or in the community?
While we unfortunately can’t erase the tragedy of years gone by, perhaps we can make a difference for potential future victims.
This is one of the objectives of this blog. We desire to see Donn Ketcham reported to the state and his license revoked. We believe there is a high likelihood that many innocent little wolverines have been violated as well. We hope we are wrong, but statistics show that our hunch is more likely dead on.
As far as his involement in church or the community (besides his medical practice), I do not know, but I am confident that there are people who are reading this blog that do indeed know. It is not understood why they have chosen to remain silent. I do know that he has been permitted,even encouraged, to represent the Lord Jesus from the pulpit. I find that despicable and I beieve God does, too. I know of one victim who was a house guest of members of the current ABWE administration on a Sunday. As they prepared to go to church, another Bangladesh missionary-turned-administration-member called to say, “Don’t bring her to church today! Donn Ketcham will be in the pulpit!” This was as recent as 6-7 years ago.
But has anyone gone to the authorities — whether it be the police, the medical board, or Ketchams’ church leaders — to let their concerns be known? I guess my question is what is actively being done to stop this from happening again and again and again…and again…?
Sorry guys, I am out. I will pray, but I can’t read this blog without getting angry. Susannah, you have talked about this being a safe place, but every time someone responds with something contrary to your own beliefs even when supported by Biblical principles it gets blasted by certain people. So, I will be praying for all parties involved and will look instead to my own family and children.
Dear Tami,
I am truly sorry that I have offended you. Please accept my apologies. I admit, this is an emotional topic for me and sometimes I don’t get it right. I will try to be more objective in my responses or possibly not respond at all and let the blog speak for itself. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
Susannah
Susannah –
You have done nothing wrong and the frustration has been misdirected. I think what Tami J meant to say that “every time someone responds with something contrary to another’s own beliefs…it gets blasted by certain people.” She wasn’t saying that you were the one to offend her. It took me a few minutes to figure that out because I also thought she was saying that you had offended her. But rereading your posts I can find nothing offensive in them. I believe she is offended by the posts of others.
That being said – it is contrary to what she herself claims in her first post:
“I am so thankful for your openness and honesty about this situation. It rips open so many wounds and breaks the hearts of anyone who was even remotely involved. But it is a ripping that needs to be done.”
We knew this would happen. People are going to get upset again. People are not going to understand or see things clearly and they will try to sweep it under the rug and walk away again. Just like all those years ago, it is too painful and uncomfortable to talk about and so let’s just not. We cannot let one, two, three, or three hundred people discourage us. Isn’t that what the ABWE administration has done for the past couple of decades? We will not be bullied into keeping our voices silenced this time! We will speak out!
If this is painful for those who were not abused, nor did they have an abused family member – how much more for those who were? Let them walk away. It’s not about them and they have no idea. It is our story to tell, let’s tell it for the benefit of future generations and healing for ourselves and our families.
Tami J’s post puts blame (perhaps inadvertently?) on Susannah Baker. Anger is once again directed toward a victim who is undeserving of it. Susannah, you responded as a typical victim in this case always has….you take the blame, apologize profusely, and commit to retreat. It makes my stomach ache and my heart hurt.
Friends, it is understood that when you contribute to a blog you will run into people that you disagree with and who disagree with you. Take it up with the person you are really frustrated with not one of the victims. Even though Susannah is the moderator of this blog she should not be expected to post only the comments you might agree with. How would she ever determine that? For if you agree with it, I might not and vice versa. It’s perfectly acceptable to not participate in the blog but don’t throw the blame on others. You are entitled to your opinion about our “lack of forgiveness” and the biblically principled posts you write, but we are also entitled to disagree and defend our viewpoint. If anyone had worn the shoes I’ve worn for the past 20+ years, their viewpoint would most definitely be different.
Personal stories would give people who have been out of the loop more understanding. I believe those stories will come to this blog in time, but these women need to know that they can share without criticism or judgment. It is a curious and shameful thing to me that the criticism right now is not being directed toward the perpetrator and those who covered up his crimes, but is being directed toward the thoughts and feelings of the victims and those closest to them.
Sexual abuse is not pretty. It is complex. It is a hideous burden for the families that have to attempt to hold up under the weight of its memory. While words like grace, mercy and forgiveness apply, if we have not experienced such a crime against us or one of our family members, we should not dole them out lightly.
We should not expect people to grab hold of Jesus and move on without any anger or bitterness when they have seen no justice. As has already been pointed out, Jesus became angry on several occasions and who was his anger usually directed at? Pious spiritual leaders. Jesus was sinless. Yet he was angry. He called people names. He called religious leaders terrible names. Called them snakes, white washed tombs. Religious leaders who were hypocrites of the worst kind.
Is that not EXACTLY the sort of person we are discussing on this blog? Someone who dared to preach the gospel and the faith to his colleagues and small children from his high pulpit at Spiritual Life Conferences when his sin went so deep it was actually criminal?
And what about our beloved “uncles”–and they were beloved by us–back at the home office who forgave him again and again, because they loved him and his family, without considering the need to protect others from him? Are we not right in being angry that they did not put concern for you and I, Tami–and the missionary children of several generations–above the need to protect the good Ketcham name?
So let’s not silence people with righteous anger, who have never NEVER seen justice in this life for the crimes done against them and their families.
I pray that each of them will finally (finally) be able to hear the voices of those around them, more of the grownups they adored in their childhoods, more of our parents, say: “It’s okay to name names. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.”
I am so glad Uncle George King weighed in with his honest memories and thoughts. I am so glad “Aunt Barb B.” was brave enough to contact GRACE and say so here.
I have asked this question privately in my family and now I ask it publicly here: Do we value our small and IMAGINED ABILITY to protect the reputation of God and his people and the spread of the gospel above our RESPONSIBILITY to do what is right in this life so we might stand before God one day with a clear conscience?
I’m curious what we would say if a former missionary was discovered to have murdered someone on the field. And not only once, but several times. Even 20 years later, would we stand in their defense and say his good qualities outweighed the bad? That grace and mercy should prevail over condemnation? Would we say the mission was probably wrong not to report his crimes to authorities but that we should forgive and just try and move on?
This was a crime. Just like murder. But even if it was treated like a sin and not a crime, Biblical principles were misapplied. Even the Matthew 18 process of confronting a brother or sister in sin ends, if the sinner is unrepentant, with the command to treat that person like a pagan. And 1 Corinthians 5 goes into more specifics on how to handle exactly what happened in Bangladesh:
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate . . . Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? 5 hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. c12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
And as for what if he was repentant? Then he should have come forward and faced the punishment for crimes. Mathew 18: 6 and 7 says “If you cause one of these little ones who trust in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.” And the rest of that passage basically says “WOE” to the person who has caused them to sin.
But here’s the kicker for me. Not only was the sinner not handled correctly. But possibly even worse, at least one of the victims was treated as though they also had done something sinful. ABWE failed to stand up in defense of the children who were abused. And, by some accounts, tried to prove that they were liars. Wasn’t this one of the reasons God destroyed the nation of Israel? What does the Lord require? To do justice? Love mercy? The victims received neither.
I do not think people really understand the ripple effect that this injustice has had on generations of missionaries and missionary kids and the children of MKs – especially those who had even minimal knowledge of the crimes. Many of you were in the dark for years and years. Now that it has come to light, rather than attacking these people who were hurt so badly, let’s examine what scripture really teaches about standing up for those who could not stand up for themselves. These women and their families need us to stand up for them now as should have been done years ago. That is biblical and right and Isaiah 58 promises that if we repent of the past and do what is right and “help those in trouble, then your light will shine out from the darkness and ….you will be known as a restorer of homes.” God will be glorified. He is vastly stronger than the failures of a man or a Mission Board. And if we do what is right, He wins every time.
shame you can’t post what I wrote. Post the facts with evidence that you claim to posess and prove your case. Without evidence of wrongdoing on the part of the accused, it is pure slander and gossip.
The reason I can’t post what you wrote is because it was verbally and emotionally abusive towards the victims. I will consider starting to post the documents that I have, but it won’t be pretty for ABWE or Dr. Ketcham.. I would ask ABWE to post Dr. Ketcham’s detailed confession(the one with the names in it and specific acts)on their website, with the victims names blotted out, and if not, I will post it. Also, I need all of you out there who know the truth to comment. I don’t care if you post as Mickey Mouse or Cinderella or Winnie the Pooh. But I do need your support and help. Thanks so much in advance.
Susannah
Susannah, please help me understand. I posted 2 or 3 blogs and was totally 100% supportive of you all. I certainly am not aware that I was verbally or emotionally abusive toward you. I really don’t understand why my posts haven’t been posted. I personally know 98% of the people posting and they will vouche for me that I have your best interests at heart. Perhaps it is because you don’t remember me, but I remember you and the others. Evidently you are the one screening the posts, so if you wouldn’t mind responding to my email Perrinerc@sbcglobal.net and letting me know what offended you, I would like to be given the opportunity to apologize for anything that may have been construed as anything other than justice for what you have suffered. I’m very sorry if I said anything that didn’t reveal how my heart was feeling. I’m just so sickened by it.
Dear Aunt Cheryl,
Of course I remember you! I thought I did post all your posts so I will have to go back and see why they aren’t showing up. The responses are coming in at such an overwhemling rate that I can hardly keep up with posting them. I will have more help as of tomorrow and will try to get your posts up. Thanks so much for your support and writing in!
Susannah
If you have evidence that is prosecutable, take it to a court of law. I can guarentee that if you continue with these slanderous accusations, you will end up in a court of law for posting slander and spreading unsubstantiated rumors.
If you have evidence, by all means, post. Protecting victims is of paramount importance.
Don’t set yourself up as prosecutor, judge and jury.
Dear Fact Finder,
We are fully prepared to take this to a court of law. We have the truth on our side. Your threatening statements will not keep me from speaking the truth.
Susannah
Then take it to the court of law, not the court of common opinion.
Fact Checker: Already on this blog at least one adult named George King, a member of the Bangladesh Field Council, has attested to the fact that he was made aware by the home office that Donn Ketcham confessed to a particular wrongdoing before he was sent home. Don’t miss this part: Donn Ketcham confessed that what he was accused of doing was true.
What he was accused of doing was having a sexually abusive “relationship” with a girl beginning when she was 12 and ending when she was 14.
There is a name for this — also true fact — it’s called pedophilia. Attraction to children 13 and under.
We are talking about ABWE allowing the admitted criminal and pedophile to return to practice medicine in America as a family physician.
If this happened today, the leaders who did this at ABWE would probably be sent to jail along with the criminal. I can base this on a) laws in place today, b) criminology and terms for child abuse, c) the admission of guilt by the guilty party.
Facts? Checked.
Take it to a court of law. If you have this proof, he will be held responsible. We know from precident that this is true.
Any guesses as to how difficult it would be for the US legal system to have jurisdiction over something that happened in a foreign country like Bangladesh, let alone for a crime committed that long ago?
I will try to respond to your question and “Just AnotherMK’s” question tomorrow. My best advice right now for both of those questions is to go to the fandaeagles.com site and read the GRACE report and what the result of that investigation was.
Susannah
Your proof remains an opinion.
You will not recieve the retribution you are looking for in this way.
No one else will come out because there IS no one else. There is only one family who feels like they got screwed. History dictates they have a way sucking people into their dysfunction vortex with the ability to leave out highly important personal details. Its good thing this is not a trial based on character wittness. It would be a FAIL.
God is not in this. Don’t pretend he is.
Peace OUT!!
Dear Anonymous,
Even if it was only one little girl, wouldn’t she be worthy of justice?
What if she was your little girl? Wouldn’t you move heaven and earth for her?
I stand corrected and apologize. It was unecessary and short-sighted of me to allow my personal opinion of the family to overshadow the suffering of the girls involved.
Protecting the innocence of children is the primary responsibility of all those invoved in this situation.
Anonymous…..your post doesn’t even warrant my time to reply. As it was once said, “ignorance is bliss”.
The Evil One wants more than anything for this to be kept quiet. Be strong and of good courage and continue to speak the truth. After returning from the field to blow the whistle on other horrible crimes we discovered, the leader of the mission told me then that when he investigates he “drills all the way to the bottom.” However, he and others then began to do everything in their powers to keep any investigation from going forward. This will all finally be brought to light because that is the loving thing to do. It isn’t love to try to keep things hidden. Those who oppose any investigation are almost always ones who have something to hide themselves.
Thank God for Phil Walsh! (Seriously.) Phil, I’m so happy to see that a fellow MK outside my family and one or two others will actually state his name and be counted among those who want truth to be fully revealed. How I wish that more of us would be brave enough to give our real names and say out loud to the rest of the world “I know what he did” and that it STILL MATTERS that these girls get justice. At the risk of hijacking the purpose of the blog, I challenge all my MK childhood friends who support this effort to find out the WHOLE truth and DO something about it to state your name here, please, and be counted among those who did not stand silent. You don’t have to agree with everything that has been said, but be counted among those who will not let the sins of a past generation go unnoticed. Let’s see this thing through because it breaks the heart of God that we, as children of dedicated missionaries, were not considered valuable enough by the home office to PROTECT.
[Was going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but maybe I’ll just go ahead now.]
Malumghat was, in my mind at least, one big happy family where people felt free and safe. Especially the children, including the girls, especially compared with the city where we normally lived. The busy adults, particularly the “hospital” people, so involved in ministering to the local people, were “Aunt” or “Uncle” to all the children regardless of whose they were. Everyone looked out for each other, a family. There was trust, I felt, from the time we arrived in 1981. It was a happy place for everyone, wasn’t it?
It was a nice day at Malumghat, on the morning that I remember. I’m not even sure what year. I remember a few things, most of it I don’t remember. I was staying in house 10, sleeping in the absent parents’ bedroom at night (can’t remember if my husband was with me or just came for the weekend as sometimes happened), watching out for the girls (as closely as early teens needed watched there) while their parents were gone, I don’t remember where the parents had gone. I almost want to say they were in America for an emergency, but I don’t remember. Maybe they were only in Dhaka, but in my memory, they were far away and not returning for a few more days. I was supposed to be looking out for the girls in the absence of their parents.
The youngest one, I think, anyway one of those being spoken of on this blog, was sick in bed on the morning I remember. Maybe a fever? Sick enough that I felt the need to call the doctor about it. Not sick enough that I couldn’t leave her for a few minutes for something. What, I don’t remember. Maybe I was also doing temporary Guest House duty so had run up there in the car. Not sure. I remember pulling back up to the house to go in the back door to the bedroom area. That is pretty clear in my mind. I’m not sure if I met the doctor there outside, but for some reason the outside back door that morning is quite clear in my mind. Maybe we stood and spoke of the patient’s diagnosis. Not sure. I think I entered the house from that direction, at any rate I went directly to the small bedroom on the left inside the back door to see how my ill charge was doing. I’d left with her sick in bed . The doctor had just left. She was crying. She was sobbing. Somewhat puzzled, I sat down on the side of the bed to try to comfort her to see what was wrong. She cried and cried. Trying to figure out what was wrong with this normally bubbly, happy girl, who was now having a meltdown, I concluded that perhaps because she’s sick she suddenly misses her parents very much. Though she hadn’t exhibited that sort of “homesickness” before, I assumed that, and proceeded to try to comfort her on that basis since she wouldn’t tell me anything else. I hugged her and prayed with her and stayed with her, sitting on her bed, until she calmed down. End of memory.
Facts: The girl’s parents were away. I had responsibility for her. The girl was sick that day. I went out for a time. The doctor came and examined her with no other person present in the room or in the back half of the house. The doctor left. I returned. The girl was distraught immediately after the doctor left. She cried for some time, being difficult to calm down.
Later, how much later I’m not certain, but when the issue blew up I remembered and had to think, “Did something bad go on that day when she’d been sick in bed and he came and examined her, alone, in her bedroom? If something bad had happened, was it the first time? Is it my fault that this happened? If it wasn’t the first time, did he purposely come while I wasn’t there?” I don’t know. I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t there. Only she, a young perhaps teen (?), and the 50- ish year old doctor were alone in that bedroom. That much I know for a fact.
And I’m so sorry that I was so naive. End of my brief memory.
But…. (to be continued)
Diana, I wanted to ask your forgiveness. I wasn’t going to come back on here, but the Lord has been doing a work on my heart. While I don’t agree with everything you have said, I feel I left in anger and it was because of you. I am sorry for this. You are only speaking your mind. God has been working on my heart this last day. He has shown me so much grace and shown me my weakness that I had to come back and publicly apologize to you. You are my sister in Christ. Regardless of whether or not I agree with you, it is not my right to criticize. Please forgive me. I say this in front of my other brothers and sisters publicly because I wrongly addressed my anger publicly and I want you to know I am sorry.
Susannah, my husband told me this morning I needed to hear your reply to me. I was just so broken hearted because I could see friendships that had lasted years being torn apart in this place. That was not the purpose of this blog. I know this. Blogs can be difficult things and it was very brave of you even to post a public forum. I had been in the Word this morning and had been asking the Lord to help release me from my frustration and fears. My dearest husband got on here to check it out and he said, “Babe you need to hear this.” He read your reply. What grace you exhibited to me in my sin of anger! I laughed and cried all at the same time. Thank you for that. Still praying, still learning.
Dear Tami,
Thank you so much for your comments. I think we are all growing a lot as this blog goes along, including myself.
Susannah
Wow. This has definitely been a shocker. I had no clue all these years. I have always viewed my experiences in Bangladesh–and Malumghat in particular–as one of the greatest times in my life. A great childhood adventure in the jungle. And, I have viewed all those who were there as missionaries with me (adults and children) as one great, loving, extended family. Heaven on earth. Oh, how sadly mistaken I have been. Little did I know that there was a wolf in sheep’s clothing prowling in our midst. And, worse, that some of my fellow MKs were victims in his snare. I am saddened that others’ memories of their time there is a nightmare instead of the happy time that it should have been. My view of this utopia has now been shattered.
But, I am thankful to now know the truth and to be able to grow in wisdom and understanding by realizing just how dangerous and unsuspecting the wolf in sheep’s clothing can be. I, for one, am supportive of this site and its intent. In time, all things will come to light and will no longer be hidden. Whether now or in heaven, we will all know the full truth—however awful it may be.
First, for all my sisters in Christ who were victims, my heart goes out to you and I pray that you will be comforted and healed. Know that you are loved and supported. And, I pray that any shame or guilt that you may feel will be washed away–it is unfounded. You were the victim of a predator who was on the hunt. It is not your fault. I pray that God will give you wisdom in knowing how to proceed. Be strong and courageous, for God is with you and will strengthen you.
Second, for ABWE, I also pray that you will be guided by God in how to rightly respond to this tragic episode in the mission’s history. It is clear from this blog that the actions taken both against Dr. Ketcham and in support of his victims were insufficient. Speaking as one who is also responsible for administering justice, I can appreciate the complexity of this case and its challenges. Shedding light on the truth to expose the evil that was done in secret is both just and inevitable. It is my hope that you will find a way to set things right. Enabling Dr. Ketcham to transition out of the mission board without punitive actions against him for his crime was wrong. In my profession, we have sent people to prison for extensive multi-year sentences for child pornography alone. A single case as described here could easily result in 10+ years in prison, loss of entitlements and a dishonorable discharge. I know that ABWE does not have that kind of authority. But, the board should have recognized it for what it was and taken legal action against him–upholding an even higher standard than the world. Just because we are advancing the cause of the Gospel does not mean that we are above the law—nor does Christian compassion, mercy and forgiveness remit a requirement to prosecute in order to administer justice and impose consequences. Rather than silencing the victims, the mission board should have been acting on their behalf to ensure that justice was served and others were protected. I can appreciate why there was a desire to keep such an explosive scandal under wraps for the sake of protecting the mission’s reputation with the people and government in Bangladesh and with churches in the United States. But, the secret is now in the open. The mission board’s reputation, as well as Dr. Ketcham’s, is going to be tarnished both because of his crime and the way in which it was handled. The emphasis on secrecy clearly had long term ramifications for the victims and their families. Furthermore, it enabled Dr. Ketcham to move on “peacefully”—and, based on the allegations presented in this blog—potentially to have committed further crimes against other victims. For that, I agree that ABWE should take deliberate action to rectify this situation. I pray that those who are now at the helm of ABWE will be granted wisdom to know what to do.
As for substantiating any actual wrong doing by Dr. Ketcham, I do not have anything to offer which would contribute to a case against him. While I initially did not think I would make a post because of that, I decided instead to offer my thoughts above. One, to express my shock, sadness, sympathy and support to those who have been hurt by this. And, two, to express my concern over the mission board’s handling of this over the years, and to encourage them to set things right.
My heart is breaking over this news. Some of you I remember, but you may not remember me, and some I never had the chance to meet. My family came to Bangladesh on a short-term mission trip right when Ketchams were leaving. My mom helped Aunt Kit pack. I cannot imagine the pain of carrying the truth around for so many years and being told not to say anything. I am so angry at the cover-up and deceit of ABWE and how this has impacted so many people. I am so sorry.
I am praying for healing and peace for all of you. I pray that more people will have the courage to share their story, and that you will know that you are not alone, and you have the love and support of so many people. I pray that you will believe and accept that what happened to you is not your fault. I pray for wisdom for those closest to you, that they will know when to speak, what to say, and when to be silent and just be there.
I pray that ABWE will deal with this appropriately, though I’m not exactly sure what this looks like. What I do know is that true repentance involves admission of the entire truth, and then willingness to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that has been shattered and to prove that their repentance is real.
Psalm 62:5-8 has been a wonderful reminder for me of where my hope should lie. He knows your pain, and He alone can heal. We can rest in His arms, pouring out our hearts to Him. “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
Thank you for your courage.
Kristen
* Russell E. Ebersole Jr. D.D.
In reading your letter dated September 18, 1989, it is clear that you knew the “sin” of Dr Ketcham and still you brazenly asked for prayer and monetary support for Dr. Ketcham and his family! No request of prayers or monetary support for the victim and her family were expressed.
The buck stops with you, pal! Obviously, Dr. Ketcham’s problem was presented to you! You had a chance to help your friend, Dr. Ketcham. This was your opportunity to make a strong difference in a man’s life and in the mission world. You were given a chance to help heal little girls, with Godly response. The victims (because you know there is more than one victim) needed you, as did Dr. Ketcham. You failed, Mr. Russel E. Ebersole Jr. Doctor of Divinity!
There will always be “problems”, “sins” and “upsets”. God showed us that it is the response to those “problems”, “sins” and “upsets” where the integrity of man will be revealed.
I will sincerely pray that the glory (core, character and essence) of God find a solution for all.
My precious friends and victims, I am so tired of lies and cover ups. There has been an unseen wedge in many relationships because of silence. I am so sad to hear how much was going on around me! I just want you to know I believe you and am behind you. Malumghat was/is home to me. I have many precious friends and memories, but it also holds some hurts and fears for me. I pray that the truth will help heal and that this will continue to help others that have been suffering silently. So sad that we put God in a box and didn’t trust HIM to take care of HIS ministries and faithful servants. God IS TRUTH so how can we serve HIM with lies. My mind and heart is overwhelmed, so I won’t continue right now. I just wanted you to see another name on here, even though I have contacted some of you individually. Don’t fear the freedom that comes from truth, fear the power and destruction of satan’s lies. I pray that we would all be bathed in prayer, that God would put a hedge of protection around us as we seek truth and justice. “I lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help, my help comes from the Lord..”
I’m not an MK and I’ve been hesitant to write since I’m not directly affected. However, I am a close friend, Stateside who witnessed the aftermath of this man’s crime.
Growing up, my best friend and her family were missionaries to Bangladesh. My dear friend’s sister is one of the doctor’s victims, though at the time we didn’t know it. We were just told that something horrible had happened and we weren’t to talk about it. My family did what little we could to help but there was so much we didn’t know; so many dark, poisonous secrets were unwillingly kept. Bit by bit we watched as this precious girl’s life fell apart . . . knowing something was horribly wrong . . . witnessing the pain and stress that tore at her family . . . praying for deliverance . . . not really knowing fully the depths of the wound. It wasn’t until later that my friend revealed to me what had happened to her sister, and over the years I slowly learned of the questionable action and lack thereof on the part of ABWE.
I truly believe that the positive steps that are being taken now are not unbiblical. Though action comes at long last, it is in God’s perfect timing. The victims and families are not lashing out emotionally, but are rather being professionally and lovingly guided by the folks at G.R.A.C.E.
Had this been handled correctly from the beginning, these women may very well have been able to heal and put this part of their lives behind them. But it wasn’t and they deserve to be heard – no matter how much time has gone by, no matter how much forgiveness they’ve been able to extend. They deserve to be able to tell their story, and they deserve an apology from their abuser for the actual crimes. Will they get that? I don’t know, but I sincerely hope so.
Sweet beautiful girl, perfect and pure and most beloved of God, did you hear me?
You deserve to tell your story and be heard, no matter what people think. This crime against you was not your fault. Whether you receive justice in this life or the next, your Heavenly Father will give you justice. He does not take lightly the injury of His child.
Isaiah 61:8 “ For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.
Even now, you are that little girl – in many ways unable to move beyond, frozen in time, aged 12 – your childhood was stolen from you. It matters. It matters to me and to everyone who has posted. It matters to your family and it matters to God.
I’m sure this is very difficult, to write your story. It opens old wounds. But in order for a wound to heal, God must take you back to that very wound. Give it to Him and let Him make beauty for ashes. Tell your story so that one more girl might be saved.
You are beautiful. You are so very brave.
Thank you Susannah for opening the door of discussion so the poison of the secrets kept may be finally purged.
I’d like to offer one more thing. I’ve just read the two letters Susannah posted from the doctor himself and from Dr. Ebersole. The confession of the sin is so vague, one inevitably assumes that it must have been an affair – between consenting adults.
Infidelity is not a crime and so therefore if consenting adults are caught in it, are repentant and “submit to the authority of the home church as regards any discipline they see appropriate and start counseling immediately so there must not be an recurrence of this sin,” it would be sufficient to be handled by the church – even biblical.
However, we are not talking about infidelity. This was not an affair between consenting adults. This was an adult abusing a minor, several minors. Molestation. Pedophilia. Rape. This is a crime and is therefore beyond the bounds of the church. Christians have no right to expect protection from the church for criminal behavior and lawful consequences. Christians have no right to extend this kind of protection. In this instance and cases like it,”submitting to the authority of the home church as regards any discipline they see appropriate” should have most definitely begun with “full disclosure to the appropriate persons,” a truthful and complete confession and apology and completed by turning oneself in to the proper authorities to accept the consequences and inevitable prosecution.
It is shameful that abusers are protected within the church under the guise of “church discipline” and allowed to give fake or less than truthful confessions, keep their status and . . . possibly – probably- continue abusing.
How many more little girls were abused since the doctor’s return to family practice in Michigan? I shutter to think.
First I want to thank Susannah for being so brave and reaching out to other victims and their families during this heartbreaking time. I have a family member that was a victim of Donn K. and have had to watch her whole life self destruct in front of my eyes. If you have not had to go through something like this…praise God! It has put our family through hell and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Personally I too deal with recurring nightmares that come weekly and have been for decades. I wake up in a panic and fortunately have a husband who is understanding. I don’t remember personally having been abused by him but do know that while on the mission field I knew NEVER to be alone with him in a room.(noone told me…I just felt it.) I feared him and was terrified to the point of being sick when we had to go for physicals. This is all I remember and my heart goes out to all of those hurting right now.
To “anonymous” who said that no one else will come out because there are no more…HERE I AM! You are wrong! AND, I personally know a number of others girls with EXACTLY the same story as me! It’s time to open your eyes and realize what happened many years ago has affected MANY of us for the rest of our lives…some more than others! I often wondered why the children of my generation who grew up at Malumghat were so “sexually aware” at such a young age! I have children of my own, and I have NEVER seen or heard then act out or talk about things that we did as young children! Where did we learn this from? We had no TV, no radio, no magazines, no books, very little outside influence, yet alot of us were very sexually aware WAY before we should have been. Reading the comments, there seems to be a recurring theme. Nightmares, hazy memories, DK doing our physicals (alone alot of the time) being terrified of him and not knowing exactly why. I could go on and on, describe what happened to me etc…but I wont. Suffice it to say, I have raised daughters, taken them for many a physical, seen how physicals are “supposed” to be performed, and it slowly started to sink in that what happened to me as a child was nothing short of child molestation. It is what it is! Having said all that, I have personally reached a point in my life where I have forgiven the perpetrator….he will, someday, face the Ultimate Judge, and that is good enough for me. My prayer is that we can ALL heal through this, give God the glory, and live out the rest of our lives for Him!
I have been following this blog with great interest for a week now and it is always interesting to see what kind of people come out of the woodwork during this kind of crisis – both good and bad. Although there have been a few comments that have made my blood boil, it really does warm my heart to see how much support and love has been shown during these dark times.
I have been going back and forth as to whether I even have a right to post anything as I am not an ABWE MK, I have never set foot in Bangladesh, I have never even met Dr. Ketcham (and I hope I never do), but after much consideration I feel there are a couple of reasons why I should write, if nothing more than to give my support.
The first reason I am writing is that while I may not be an ABWE MK, I am an MK and it breaks my heart to hear about these kinds of atrocities being committed by a “man” of God. The mission field is scary enough for kids without them having to face the horrors of rape and abandonment. Someone previously had the audacity to post a comment about this blog being the angry rants of a single family that got screwed – perhaps that isn’t far from the truth. Our MK family has been screwed! A pedophile has been allowed to continue living a consequence-free life of comfort, free to continue molesting children; a mission board has tried as best they could to sweep this “unpleasant matter” under the rug; and countless people and families are left trying to piece back the shattered remains of their broken lives! All of us MK’s may not be blood-related, but we have a unique bond that goes beyond blood. This IS my family that has been torn apart and yes, I do feel like we have been screwed! I just want everyone to know that support for what you are doing goes far beyond the ABWE family – we stand behind you and will support you in any way that we can.
The second reason I am writing is that this situation has affected me personally and has been for many years now. People that I know and love have been hurt and torn down as a direct result of a) Dr. Ketcham’s child abuse, and b) by ABWE’s culture of silence. My family has had to bear much pain as a direct result of a) Dr. Ketcham’s child abuse, and b) by ABWE’s culture of silence. My marriage has been negatively affected as a direct result of a) Dr. Ketcham’s child abuse, and b) by ABWE’s culture of silence. The ripples that have made their way into my life may be small in comparison to those who have had the courage to post their stories on this blog (and those who have yet to come forward), but I am none the less tired of dealing with the repercussions of events that should have been dealt with and where justice should have been served many, many years ago.
To ABWE I would like to say that there is no shame in owning up to ones mistakes and it is never too late to right a past wrong. I can understand how important it is to keep an unblemished image when your whole existence depends on charitable donations, but my understanding is in no way an approval for the way this was handled. What was done is wrong. Is God not big enough to overcome a tarnished image? How many more children’s lives need to be destroyed before you take action? – this is not a rhetorical question: I am literally wondering what that number is. To the members of the board: is this how you would handle things if your daughter was raped? Would you slap the perpetrator on the wrist and then send him on his way with your blessing and monetary support?! It is time for a new era for ABWE. It is great that the mission has started a child protection program, but how can any faith be put in this program when there is such a history of muffling out the voices of victims that are crying out? The program is a good first step, but it can’t be a substitute for righting these past wrongs.
You all have my prayers and support. God is bigger than all of this and in one way or another, his justice and glory will prevail.
I have a question for my fellow MKs. A disturbing enough number of us have the same memory of “illness”:
1. Staying in the Ketcham home while our parents were in another part of the country.
2. Becoming suddenly ill and barely conscious–which was diagnosed immediately by Donn as typhoid.
3. Remaining in a half-conscious state for several days, being cared for only by Donn and Kitty.
As for myself, I magically got better when my mother showed up. As for another, she was actually placed into Donn’s bed beside him and told to rest there.
Are these things coincidences because Aunt Kitty welcomed guests with open arms and Donn was a physician and we were surrounded by germs?
Or are they eerie indications that we were drugged with something like rohypnol, which causes gastrointestinal distress, feelings of extreme hot and cold (like a fever), dizziness (again, just like the flu or another bug), and–of course–severe memory lapses in addition to very little consciousness.
I find these fact about this drug and others like it chilling.
Please, if you also mysteriously fell ill while staying in their home or in close proximity to them (as a third friend did), say so here or let GRACE know your story.
I’m sick of a very special and God-fearing family being put on trial on this blog–some posts were deleted, others left in an effort to let both “sides” speak.
But let’s talk about some things as a “mission family”, folks, because most of us on this blog know each family being discussed quite well, either how they were 20 years ago or how they are today.
1. Every family on that mission field had flaws, because all of us have flaws. We are not perfect parents and neither were our parents. Plus, we all sin.
2. Any and all accusations made about a particular victim are events that happened AFTER the abuse and subsequent mishandling, cover-up and what I would term “spiritual abuse” took place: i.e., don’t talk about it, forgive and forget, move on or the gospel will suffer.
3. Victims of sexual abuse frequently become targets of other abusers. For some, being a victim of abuse is like putting a stamp on your forehead for others sickos who like young girls, and that stamp says: “Look at me. I’m afraid to speak up and easily manipulated. Give me a try.” It’s sad.
4. Victims of sexual abuse frequently become either sexually frigid or sexually promiscuous because the abuse affects the way they see themselves and the way they view sex. That’s just the way it is. The sinful perversion pushed onto them distorts their way of approaching what God meant to be a beautiful thing. Without healing in this area (which almost always involves proper handling and counseling) we can’t expect much more from victims than one of these responses. Have some women overcome despite the odds? Yes. But let’s not bash too harshly on the ones who don’t.
5. Victims of sexual abuse often blame themselves, especially if they are shamed (i.e., “hushed” about the event). This leads to depression and anxiety and harming of their own bodies and even suicide attempts. Imagine what this is like to live with. What this is like for their families.
6. Just Google these things or interact with a family who has dealt with this. They will all tell you the same story, Christian or not. I’m not making this up on the spot.
7. What do you think it’s like to be a sibling of someone going through everything I’ve listed above? You are going to feel anxiety. You are going to feel pain. You are going to be the target of anger that can’t go anywhere else. You are going to try to do what’s right, but it’s going to be tough.
8. Add to all of these things the fact that spiritual abuse took place: A family in pain was given awful advice and council in regard to dealing with this. The advice from their trusted spiritual advisors and people who held their paychecks and the key to them being able to live out their dream of serving God in Bangladesh was: “Don’t talk about it. Don’t talk about it. Don’t talk about it. Forgive and forget.”
9. This is one of the most loving families I’ve ever known in my life. They have always prayed and done what they thought was best and always loved and trusted others to love them in return. If they are guilty of anything it is loving and respecting too much. I’m sure along the way there were mistakes and there were also things done right. But people picking away at their family is one of the biggest reasons families stay silent on these issues.
10. Picking away at families is easy. Wanna pick away at mine? If I told you my name, you’d have a hey day. But no one in my family has ever been caught molesting a child. That’s the difference between my family, this family and the Ketcham family.
11. Anyone who dares attack the behavior and character of the known victims on this board for things that they did after being abused sexually and spiritually and emotionally, needs to check their own heart and see if they have lost all compassion and mercy for those in terrible pain.
12. What would your little junior high daughter or grand daughter be like if she was made to do the things these victims did and was manipulated in such a way? (BTW Answers of “never my kid” or “she would forgive and move on” are just wishful thinking. Ask ANY family who has been through it and survived and they will tell you that forgiveness is hard enough without the added agony of no justice and no ability to talk and process what happened in a healthy way.)
Stop putting the victims and their families on trial here.
I humbly thank “Don’t put the victims or their families on trial” for posting these points.
You ladies are very courageous and we weep for you and pray for what justice can be done at this late date.
this is all so wrong. god says we should forgive endlessly. that is what we need to do. donn ketcham wrote that letter with a heart of repentance…and he said what he did. he was forgiven by the blood of jesus…this is satans tools to ruin what he has done to fix all his sin and restore who he and his wife are. i happen to know them well and i know what happened. this is all lies. satan is winning and you will be judged for this. this is wrong. may god be glorified through the life of a man who lived for god…not pefectly…for neither did david…but he was a man after god’s own heart.
This is actually not all lies, Carepear. You’ll notice that no one who defends Ketcham has gone by their real name, even you. And yet those of us who accuse him are not ashamed to add our name, because we know what we’re talking about.
As for defending his confession and repentance, it was incomplete. For his confession: He left off names. For his repentance: You should know he had confessed and repented before of other things, and it didn’t stop him from sinning again. Anyone from Bangladesh field council over the period that Ketchams were there will tell you that.
You should also know the Ketchams have always appeared to have an amazing marriage to a lot of people. So it’s not impossible that you are deceived. However, if he is restored and his marriage is restored now that’s great. But I ask you …
Why would a restored alcoholic get a job in a bar? Family medicine? Really? That’s what a restored pedophile goes back to? That’s what true repentance and confession of sins and avoidance of evil looks like in a God-fearing man? It’s just not, and there is no way around that, Carepear. There are others ways he could have supported his family and not exposed himself to temptation, even other ways within his field. But family medicine?
You can talk forgiveness all you want, but what you don’t understand, Carepear, is how the handling of this and the TOTAL ABSENCE of earthly justice has affected lives, especially the victims. And God cares as much about justice as mercy.
I would agree wholeheartedly with you if he had confessed to an affair with an adult. The comparison to David would be exactly right.
But she was a child. And if you believe that the confession (which is not detailed) was enough to cover that, which apparently a great number of people involved in the incident did, that is truly the problem. Because what he did was commit statutory rape. And what everyone involved did was cover up a crime.
I believe that misguided application of scripture and accepting and forgiving the faults of those closest to us actually blinds us to real sin. We want to believe they are sorry when they ask for forgiveness. We believe the best of them because we love them. And eventually, without realizing it, we have begun to excuse great evil in the name of Jesus.
This is exactly why an outside entity like GRACE is critical in a case like this. They can see what we cannot. When I have told a few necessary people this week what happened they are stunned, blown away by the very confession you are defending. Shocked that this has been allowed to be covered up. Devastated that wonderful missionaries were guided into thinking this was the right thing to do.
But I also want to add that when sin is not dealt with correctly, it not only hurts those who have been sinned against, but it hurts the sinner as well. Not only was this wrongly handled for the victims but also for the one who committed the crime and his family. We do people no favors to forgive in the name of Jesus something that wouldn’t even be tolerated by the vilest of sinners. Confessing in full, asking directly for forgiveness of those he violated and facing the consequences — this is what should have been done. And I really, really hope it is what our churches are teaching today regarding sexual abuse. But I know it isn’t.
I’m so thankful for GRACE. Every pastor, every Christian ministry leader, needs to be taught how to deal with this biblically and justly and take off the mask of denial. I’m praying for healing for everyone involved. But I’m also praying that there is a massive awakening in Christendom to the need for dragging this stuff into the light.
The Church is finally catching up to what has been going on in the world for a long time. It used to be that to find help for things no one in church talked about, you had to go outside the church. Ministries like Celebrate Recovery and GRACE offer real help to hurting believers today. We no longer have to bear these terrible burdens alone.
Yes, forgive. But also, don’t let it happen again. Don’t perpetuate a culture of denial. Deal with sin head on. Or the consequences are devastating for generations.
Forgiveness does not negate consequences. If this were so, Christ would never have had to die – God could have just “forgiven” us. God knows Don Ketcham’s heart – whether his repentance was genuine or not; but sincere or not, justice required a consequence. And the victims who have suffered in silence for years, not even sure what had happened to them, alone in their doubts and fears, need to finally have the support of fellow victims – to know they are not alone, they are not crazy, they are loved! I care for and cry for all of you!
Carepear –
I am sorry you have been so blinded by his charisma and charm. When the whole truth of this story comes out and you heart is truly broken and you wonder if you can ever trust again, be comforted in the fact that you are one among many who have been deceived. You are not alone. We’ll be here for you then.
Love,
Someone who was like you at one time, but has had my eyes opened to the truth of this matter again…..and again….and again….and again….and again……………………………………
I hope Carepear is not his affectionate little nickname for you…because he gave one to each of us.
I am writing in, not as one of the abuse victims, but as the sister to two of them. This is something our family has been dealing with for years! We have done everything we can think of to bring justice to our sisters who have suffered beyond imagination with what has happened to them. We confronted the abuser who denied everything (he’s only admitted to what he was caught doing). We looked into the legal system to see if we could have him convicted of this crime (very difficult with it being done in a foreign land, many years ago, with no evidence except for the memories). We went to the mission lawyer to see what was being done to make sure that this would not happen again (and were reassured that they were doing everything within their power to keep this from happening again). My sisters are getting help, thanks to the mission, and we’ve gotten to the point where we have had to put it in God’s hands with the confidence that He will someday right all wrongs, comfort and bring healing to those who’ve been hurt, and bring justice to those who have been unjust… Trust me, I’ve thought often about bringing this to the media and blowing the whole thing out of the water, but our family is in a very difficult spot with our families now joined in marriage (my sweet cousin to his son, who is like a brother to us) and several family members actively serving God with the mission (two other sisters and their husbands). We don’t want it to be about their family members (we love his kids and wife and our hearts go out to them because of what he has done) or about the mission (who has done more than most of you realize) but about him and what he has done to his victims. I would like this blog to help other victims realize that they are not alone and to help them be able to share their stories and deal with their pain but it seems to have taken a turn in another direction…
Here are some other thoughts that we (other family members) have had that I’m posting on their behalf:
We believe each victim …no matter how small or hazy the memory. We stand with you and love you, even if we don’t know you all personally.
We believe that the 14-year-old victim was the last Bangladesh MK to be molested but the first to tell the story of her abuse and we applaud her bravery! We honestly believe that the document she signed was not for admitting HER guilt but was providing concrete proof of HIS guilt in this instance. She IS NOT nor ever HAS BEEN the guilty party in her abuse.
As best we can tell from the MK’s we know were abused, the other abuses occurred in the 2 or 2 1/2 decades PRIOR to the 14-year-old MK coming forward with her story in 1989 and it has taken about a decade from 1989 for us to start hearing from others who thought they might have been abused. These victim stories are continuing to arise up to the present date. The 14 year old did us a great service by starting to let light into a place shrouded in darkness.
NO ONE (families of victims, field personnel, or ABWE) knew of these earlier abuses until YEARS later when, as is typical with abuse victims, their memories, nightmares, or fragments of memories begin to return. Each victim’s family only knew that somewhere in the child’s past, their life had taken a dark turn. NO ONE at that time suspected a trusted “uncle”. In that day and age, it was unheard of and it was never even a passing thought in anyone’s mind. Even the man’s own wife did not see it! Like Aunt Barb B posted, we were naive and ignorant. Many have dealt with such guilt over not having suspected ANYTHING. Hindsight is 20/20. Still…we beat ourselves up over the past. To Diana Durrill: No victim’s family has been “blacklisted” from the ABWE circle, especially your family! Call anyone from within “the circle” and you’ll find only love, compassion, tears, and hugs. To “Don’t put the victims or their families on trial”…WELL SAID! We agree.
Those that were in ABWE leadership in 1989 have either passed away or have long-since retired. The new ABWE president and new administration “inherited” an issue that was 11 years in the past at that time and supposedly dealt with. Being an MK and with a deep love and concern for MK’s, at the 2002 Missionary Enrichment conference Dr. Loftis held a welcome home to all ABWE MK’s to re-engage them with the mission. It was at this conference, a bunch of Bangladesh MK’s gathered together and talked. These MK’s began to question why so many MK’s from one field (Bangladesh) were “messed up”. The name of DK came up. Alarmed at what he was hearing, Dr. Loftis jumped into action and set ABWE’s legal counsel on the case to investigate. He also provided a conduit for MK’s to contact ABWE and offered counseling to those present that wanted it. We know of at least two who took them up on their offer.
We personally sat with ABWE’s legal counsel to hear from his own mouth what ABWE was doing to delve into the Donn K 1989 issue. This is what he reported: Every pertinent state was contacted to check on their laws regarding child abuse, pressing charges, etc. Not one state (including PA, MI, CA, GA, VA, and IN) could prosecute due to the offense occurring out of the USA. No lawyer would take such case. The state laws also require a victim to file their charges within 3 years of the abuse or of remembering concrete facts regarding the abuse. Each state also has a definition of rape as male organ penetration. Anything else is considered “sexual assault” and doesn’t carry the legal weight that rape would. To accuse DK of rape, it would have to fit the state’s definition. This makes it difficult (if not impossible) for victims with less-than-concrete evidence. ABWE has no intention of protecting or helping DK. He was not “allowed” to return home to work…he was forced to. He was reported to the Michigan medical board and his employer. The Michigan Medical Board told ABWE’s legal counsel that the safeguards and procedures now in place at the workplace would not allow for the abuse problem to occur. When DK applied for membership at a church, the pastor called and the mission informed him of DK’s abuse of children and recommended to the church that they institute all the child protective safe guards available to them. Should DK move to a different church, the mission intends to follow up with additional phone calls. He will not “fall off” the radar screen as far as ABWE is concerned. DK has confessed to the transgressions he was caught in and has supposedly asked for forgiveness; however, he DENIES all other accusations. The termination from ABWE meant that DK had to give up all the rights and privileges associated with being a missionary with the organization. ABWE, however, could not legally prevent other churches or organizations from allowing DK to speak in their pulpits or serve on their boards, much as they tried. To Rachel: ABWE has no control over who forgave DK, who disbelieved the mission, and who chose to hire DK even after knowing what he confessed to. He is NOT an honored member of the extended ABWE family, yet some ABWE family members have chosen to remain his friend. Also, DK cannot be added to the nation’s sex offender list because it was only instituted in 2006 and the offender must have been CONVICTED of a sexual crime.
One final thought… using the term “ABWE” as the negligent, incompetent, unGodly bad guy is painting with too broad of a stroke. The ax should not be taken to the “tree” (ABWE) but rather, the pruning scissors to a limb or two. If you understand the operation of the organization, 99% of ABWE (the secretaries, gift entry people, finance folks, missionaries in over 70 countries, maintenance people, IT people, etc. etc.) have NO idea about this issue, have never spoken of this issue, and just do their jobs as unto the Lord. When an issue occurs on a field, typically only a handful of people from the Home Office know about it. This would include the regional administrator, the president, the field leader, the sending church pastor/s and possibly one or two others (counselor, lawyer). Due to confidentiality laws, these things are not bandied about in the hallways and information is not given to anyone who is not part of the problem or solution. The 1% who were involved in handling the Donn Ketcham matters are the ones who need to respond on behalf of themselves.
We hope these thoughts will help in understanding more about the whole situation… Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those involved in this…
Linda, thank you for coming forward with your story. I do understand that it is very personal for you because of your ties to victims and the Ketcham family.
However, I must disagree that ABWE has done what is right, and I actually doubt they ever did the legal checking about prosecution that they claimed they did. Just yesterday Tony Beckett sent churches a denial letter of any wrongdoing that is unbelievable and repeated the lie that DK was handled correctly. If Michael Loftis was doing what was right when he heard from those of you who were there on that day you shared with us, don’t you think a letter would have gone to every Bangladesh family, every Bangladesh MK they could find, saying, “There were more victims than I realized and I understand that this was mishandled by the former administration. Please talk to your children and find out if they too were victims of this man. Were you a victim of this man?”
We never got a letter like that. No one did. Because all ABWE–administration leaders now, administration leaders then–has EVER cared about is damage control.
Please don’t buy into the lie that covering for a man sins is saving the work of the gospel, as time has proven in this case it is only hurting it. Things will be much worse now, much more public, much more ugly, and it is only because human beings thought it was their job to protect God’s reputation by shushing those who would step forward and say that another Christian had committed a crime.
I’m sick at what I’m reading and learning here. My heart is breaking for these women and their families and for being forced into silence.
I’m not aware of the e-mail that you mentioned that was sent to churches yesterday by Tony Beckett. If you have a copy, could you please post it?
I did read an e-mail sent by Tony yesterday, but I did not perceive it as a denial of wrongdoing. I’m guessing you are speaking of another letter.
Linda Walsh Zylstra, thanks for providing a bit more of the history with ABWE. It is easy to condemn inaction when one doesn’t know the good actions that were taken. Your comments raised my respect for the ABWE leadership. The ABWE website at http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-responds-to-mks-blog/ seems to take an open, listening approach. I hope they believe more can be done.
I appreciate the well thought out comments. It called that which was sin, sin. Gave grace to those who knew nothing. Displayed no bitterness, but weeps with those who weep.
So if I understand Carepear correctly, then Christian forgiveness is supposed to absolve all consequences of committing sin? Is that what you think? If someone commits murder or rape and we forgive them then that person should not get any punishment for their crimes? Really?
There is a distinct difference between individually forgiving someone and that person also being held accountable for their actions. This is not a hard concept to understand. We do it in parenting all the time. Our kids can tell us their sorry and we forgive them but there are still consequences imposed as punishment for their actions. If there are never any consequences for breaking the law, imagine the world we would live in.
This is not an issue of forgiveness. It is a matter of being held accountable. Same with ABWE. The hypocrisy of ABWE in how they handled this case is appalling–even by the world’s standards. It is for the organization’s own good that they rectify this situation. If they do not do it on their own, they will find that once this fully breaks and gets national media attention, there crediblity as an organization will be completely tarnished. If they have not figured that out yet, then they are truly blind.
Carepear and ALL of those who are ‘Blinded to the TRUTH’:
I was not going to post due to the fact that it was not my daughter, sister, or even wife that was a victim in this horrible crime and sin that has been committed. However, the more I read and the more I see how many people are blinded by the ‘good’ that someone does, I cannot keep silent any longer
For those who know Donn and his post mission field life, I have no doubt you might think that he is a wonderful and even godly man. However, just confessing that he had disqualified himself from service as a missionary to his supporting churches, is not asking forgiveness from his victims and his victims’ families. If he was truly repentant and searched for forgiveness, he would have started with the victims. For those who think that the victims and their families need to forgive whether or not Donn has asked for it or not, need to read and understand what the Bible says about forgiveness. Yes, if we repent and ask for forgiveness than Christ will forgive. If we never repent and ask for forgiveness, there will be no forgiveness given. If God will not forgive without someone asking, why would He require it of us? Are we greater than Him? I think not. If Donn is truley repentent and will contact all of his victims and their families and ask for forgiveness, I will be the first to offer that forgiveness to him, but we have not seen that yet. I agree that as Christians we should be the first to offer forgiveness to those who have fallen, but only if the fallen have truly repented. We are never to close our eyes to sin in order to offer forgiveness.
Another disturbing fact, is that Donn is still practicing as a family physician! If he is such a great man and has godly character, why does he still have a practice? I am pretty sure that child sex offenders are not allowed to have a position where they deal with children. I know that if a teacher molests a child, they are no longer qualified to work with children. If he has the character, as stated in some of the earlier posts, he should resign from his practice. Not only did he disqualify himself from ministry (as per the letter stated) but he also disqualified himself from the medical field. It does not make sense to allow a man to continue in the same occupation that allowed him to take advantage of his victims (ABWE you are responsible for allowing him to continue in medicine and not reporting it). I know that if a person is a recovering alcoholic, he doesn’t spend every night in a bar. I am concerned that there have been more victims since the last victim in Bangladesh.
As for ABWE, I have no respect for your organization or the leaders that have not properly dealt with this situation. I don’t want to hear from anyone else, that “all this coming out is going to ‘hinder’ the great work that ABWE has accomplish”. Just for the record, any damage that comes from this was done over 20 years ago when all this was not taken care of. It is not the victims and their families that are causing this damage. This is the consequences of your sins that are finally catching up to you. It is up to the leaders now to take a stand and make this right. I hope and pray that you will do what is right for the victims, their families, and your organization.
As for current ABWE missionaries and supporting churches, with this information now out in the open, I ask that if the mission board does not act responsible and correct all of their errors in handling this, that you would have integrity to separate yourself from this organization. I understand that this would not be an easy decision to make, but rarely are the right decisions easy. Character is doing what is right even when it cost you everything.
To the victims and their families, I pray that God will keep you strong and close to each other. I know that every day is a battle within itself, but remember God is faithful and greater than we can ever imagine.
Carepear:
It seems like everyone is focusing on one MK. Did Donn apologize for the other MK’s that have told their story on this blog? If I am reading this right the other MK’s were before the last MK. What about these women who have been betrayed, having problems in their lives and had the strength to put their story on the blog for all to see? My heart bleeds for all those abused and troubled women that have shared their story. Lets be fair and look at the whole picture not just one frame.
As an objective (by objective I mean that I do not know any of the MK’s or missionaries being referenced) reader of this blog I would like to note several things. First and foremost, the courage it takes to speak out about these things is tremendous so I would like to thank those of you who have been brave enough to step out. You will be in the thoughts and prayers of myself and my family. And as a man and a father I can say that nothing makes me more angry than the fact that these innocent girls were abused. As the facts come to light I am hopeful that the guilty get what they deserve and are unable to do this to anyone else in the future.
Sometimes we get so angry that we allow those feelings to control us and we start placing blame in area’s where, perhaps, it does not belong. As missionaries we sometimes forget that a “Mission Agency” is not a Biblical establishment but an organazation to assist with the missionary’s goals through experience and credidation. I am shocked that as far as I could tell no one is “bashing” his sending church who is the real authority in this situation. The Book of Acts tells us that the missionary is to submit to the headship of the church and does not establish a precedent for the mission board. Don’t get me wrong, ABWE handled the situation incorrectly if it becomes known that they tried to keep the victims quiet. But as far as him still practicing medicine today, that responsibility falls on his sending church and their leadership. The Bible does teach us that we should try to restore those who are lost in sin, however, that does not mean that we should not protect others who may become his victims.
I guess all I am trying to say is that we need to keep focus on where the blame falls for the different problems presented on this sight. Dr. Ketchem’s fault/sin is obvious, ABWE should have been more worried about the victims and their families, and Dr. Ketchem’s sending church should have done the right thing and at a minimum reported his crimes to the health department so that no one else could be abused.
If I have offended anyone in this response I am truly sorry. I appreciate many of the comments on this sight specifically those who stick with Biblical truth. Also, please forgive any spelling errors as I typed this quickly and late at night. Thank you for your time.
Respectfully Submitted,
O.R.
You are right, O.R., that in a biblical model the “sending church” would have authority. But that’s not how it works in reality.
The missionaries do what the mission board tells them to. And at that point in time the bosses were Russ Ebersole over all of the Asian missionaries and then Wendell Kempton over him and the entire organization.
I assure you, no missionary would go “above” the heads of these two men by saying anything to a sending church, let alone another missionary’s sending church at the risk of going around “the proper channels at ABWE.”
The churches send the money, the mission controls the money. If you want your paycheck, you answer to your bosses at ABWE, and do what they say.
Right or wrong, that’s the reality. It was the reality for the missionaries then and it’s the reality for missionaries now, which is why so many are quiet here–they are still ABWE missionaries!
Also I think you’ll find that every church who supported DK believed they were “a sending church” and how could they do any “church discipline” when Russ Ebersole hardly gave them the truth? Read the letters.
Are you an ABWE missionary? Is that how you “may” know these things?
How it Really Works,
I have heard that mission boards do take on more than what they should and the they convince missionaries that they are the “bosses” and not the missions committee at their sending church. I appreciate your real world view on how things were then and may still be now. Knowledge of the past keeps us from repeating it.
I did read the letters and you can plainly see things were handled incorrectly. It seems that Mr Ebersole was more worried about the financial support and damage to the mission than the victims. Could I ask your opinion (because you seem to be in the know)? What if the head pastor of his sending church were brought in on the meeting when he confessed. Then ABWE cut ties with him and handed him over to his sending church so that they could focus on the victims? I am just wondering if this is the biblical way to handle this situation. Thank you for any input that people can bring to this topic.
As far as the other comment is concerned I said I “do not” know any of the MK’s or Missionaries. I have never met or talked to or heard of any of the parties involved but heard about the blog from a missionary friend.
Because I was ministering in Russia when this blog began to take off, I had not read all of it and I did not respond. However, now that I am home and have read through the entire blog, I would like to add my “two cents worth.”
First and foremost, I grieve for the victims of Donn Ketcham. All four of our children have posted on this blog already. I am extremely proud of their support for the victims. The crimes were committed against them. They commit no crime in seeking an open apology from ABWE.
Second, to any who might still think this is just a bunch of people blowing off steam, these abuses and victims are real.
Third, forgiveness consists of my refusing my right to hurt the one who hurt me. For nearly 20 years, this is the forgiveness that the victims have shown–they gave up their rights. They trusted others to handle the situation correctly and biblically. They were let down–until now.
Fourth, forgiveness does not nullify justice. We tell men and women everyday, “You are forgiven, but your sin was a crime, so you need to give yourself up to the legal authorities and take the punishment the law says you deserve. And, if you do not give yourself up, by law we will need to notify the authorities ourselves.” This simple and basic reality of Christian counseling was not followed by ABWE.
Fifth, there are precedents for dealing with these matters that ABWE has yet to follow. The New Tribes Mission recently began to deal with their own horrific mess with serial child abuse. Evangelical Baptist Mission dealt with a case years ago and the man went to prison. The failure of the Roman Catholic church to deal with pedophiles certainly should be something to go to school on. How can we expect more of them than of our own mission?
The facts are facts and they are stubborn ones. A serial womanizer engaged in serial immoral affairs became active in serial sexual abuse of minor girls. ABWE knew of the former, but allowed him to remain on the field. When the tip of the iceberg showed on the latter situation, they finally removed him, but failed to follow expulsion with a thorough investigation to see if there were other abuses. They also failed to advise him to report himself to the legal authorities and did not report him themselves. As in the Roman Catholic church cases, the mission can still report him and reveal what they knew.
Do the doubters still need Scripture? Read Ephesians 5:11-12. And what about Paul’s instruction in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13?
We demand more of our churches in the execution of church discipline than what was carried out in the Ketcham case. I have faith in our pastors and churches who exercise church discipline and practice sound Christian counseling when they learn of these matters. They will demand that ABWE reflect the churches’ ways in dealing with these matters: (1) Apologize to the victims for the overdue delay and for past mishandling. (2) Discipline the offender publicly–announce clearly the nature of his crimes. (3) Turn the offender and the records of his crimes to the legal authorities, so that they can do a full legal investigation to determine accurately the number of victims and nature of their abuse.
True Christian love must show itself in unambiguous action, not equivocation and careful wording to protect the mission. In both the Old Testament and the New Testament, God measures true godliness by caring for orphans, widows, and oppressed resident aliens. Likewise, true godliness must act on behalf of these abused MKs. Avoiding the action says two things: (1) We do not love these MKs and (2) we do not trust God to handle the fall out for doing what we know He clearly demands of us.
How many churches, pastors, supporters, and missionaries are going to still want to be associated with a mission that proclaims those two things by their actions?
If your church acted like ABWE in such matters, what would you do? If you truly love ABWE, as we have loved ABWE, you must help them see the light and do the right thing. I have written two letters to the mission about this. I will not cease to apply the pressure I can apply through every channel, until they do what is right. May God give them the wisdom, the grace, the love, and the godliness to do what is right with the greatest speed.
In Christ’s service,
“Uncle” Bill Barrick
As an ABWE Bangladeshi MK, it grieves me to read this blog. I have sat and wept for the names that have been slowly coming forward to speak of this injustice. Names that I have grown up knowing. Names that were “the big girls” that I looked up to, or the girls I wanted to follow in their footsteps. I am deeply saddened at the way this has been handled. Aunt Barb said we were naive & ignorant, and I have been as well. And regardless of how many of you I have never met or only seen your picture or only met your parents–we are still family. This blog, these people, this pain & hurt–this is my family heritage. And I support you, I pray for you, and I commend your bravery.
Uncle Bill, I am thankful and strengthened by your response (on facebook & this blog). I am thankful that you represent the Godly “uncles” and “aunts” that I have spent my entire life looking up to, those that I wanted to model parts of my life after. I know that we make mistakes. I know that we are fallen. However, there is grace enough. And I’m thankful to you, Uncle Bill, and the other aunts and uncles that have come forward and supported our [extended] family during this time. I am thankful that my admiration is not in vain. For making the mistake is not the problem, it’s how we deal with that mistake, that sin–whether we repent, whether we allow light to reveal what is there, whether we ask others for the help we need. And I feel that, Uncle Bill, your stand is needed, appreciated, and hopefully will give other aunts & uncles the strength they need to live in the light and truth. Thank you for representing the other aunts and uncles so well.
At the same time, ABWE has been my family too. And regardless of what is true or not true, or what should have been done, or what wasn’t taken care of, it is still hard hear other names that I love and have grown up respecting (Russ Ebersole) torn down so violently.
I don’t have the answer.
So.
I am praying for wisdom of all parties involved–the victims, the families, the leaders of ABWE. There is so much pain involved in this it seems insurmountable, but I am so thankful I have a God that I can cry out to that is bigger than all of this.
To those who have been abused, to those who have been affected by the abused, to their families, I plead for God’s justice on your behalf. I ask for patience as you wait on God’s good plan. I know He is good. I trust His future and his goodness.
Thank you to those that have spoken out.
The truth always wins.
Megan, I remember you so well and your sweet smile when you were little. You bring up Russ. Yes, he’s been torn down here, but he knew so much, Megan. And he did so little to protect us. Though I adored him as a child, I have ceased to call him uncle, and this is something I must try to work through and forgive. It gives me a tiny glimpse into the betrayal felt by the courageous women who began this blog.
You said:
I have faith in our pastors and churches who exercise church discipline and practice sound Christian counseling when they learn of these matters.
Do you mean WHO exercise, or TO exercise?
If you mean TO, I wouldn’t count on it happening. On the Fanda blog I read that there are some home churches of the New Tribes pedophiles that were given the Grace report containing the extensively investigated and validated proof of those missionaries crimes and refuse to believe that this “godly” man did such a thing.
There has been a disturbing trend in a few of the above posts which try to absolve Dr. Ketcham of any consequences for his actions based on his purported repentance and a Christian obligation to forgive. Furthermore, the people making these posts then accuse these abused women writing in this blog of being used as pawns of satan because they are finally speaking out.
To the writers of these posts, I say, “How dare you.”
It is this exact attitude which led to ABWE imposing a code of silence on the families and their victims. It is this attitude which has shushed these women and their families over the years into silence. Making them suffer knowing that Dr. Ketcham got to go on with his life without any consequences except a peaceful separation from ABWE. In the meantime, they have to live with the emotional wounds his crimes caused. Whenever they have sought justice, they get spiritually abused by people like you who continually tell them they should just forgive and forget. But is that really the Christian thing to do?
Being forgiven for sin does not mean that we escape sin’s consequences. Nor by forgiving someone do we abdicate our moral responsibilities when we are in positions of authority. Was it really the loving or Christian thing to do to let Dr. Ketcham continue to be given opportunities to commit more sexual crimes by letting him transition from the mission field to a medical practice? Would you want him as your daughter’s doctor knowing what he has done? Is it truly loving to perpetuate the suffering of his victims by shushing them every time they try to speak about this? What if YOU were his victim and YOU were being shushed and YOU were then told that YOU were a pawn of satan for not simply forgiving?
You are yet again trying to shush these women into silence and using the title of Christian forgiveness as your banner. What you are missing is that maintaining silence on this subject is absolutely not the loving thing to do, nor the right thing to do, nor the just thing to do, nor the Christian thing to do. God is not only a God of love, but He is also a just and holy God. And He can be filled with a righteous anger for harm caused to His little ones. And He imposed consequences for sin all throughout Scripture.
While it is my hope that all of Dr. Ketcham’s victims will eventually forgive him–for their own healing process–any forgiveness he receives does not absolve him of the consequences for his crimes. Nor should ABWE as a mission organization abdicate their rightful role as an authority–which they did–to ensure that justice was served, church and civil discipline properly applied, victims properly supported and potential future victims protected. Isn’t that what God established authorities for? While individuals within ABWE may forgive Dr. Ketcham, they have a moral responsibility by virtue of the office that they hold to ensure that righteousness–and our own laws–are upheld. The churches supporting ABWE would expect nothing less.
Don’t deprive these women of this opportunity to cry out. To share with each other the suffering and pain they have endured. To help each other understand what happened to them and why. To address their grievances against how their situation was mis-handled by ABWE.
The loving thing to do is to let these women speak and tell their story. They finally have an opportunity for their voice to be heard. Don’t shush them because you, once again, want to protect Dr. Ketcham and ABWE instead of helping the victims. Instead, they deserve an opportunity to connect, to share and to heal. And, ABWE needs to listen to them, acknowledge that they dropped the ball in handling this case from the beginning, and acknowledge that if they had rightly handled this case, then many of the victims could have been spared.
Furthermore, it is not only the cause of these girls that is at stake. It is also for the sake of future victims of sexual abuse, which may unfortunately occur within ABWE, that the organization must figure out how to rightly handle these situations. If they do not, then in the next unfortunate sexual abuse crime that they face, they may once again let the perpetrator peacefully transition and once again shush the victims into silence. Let’s not let that happen again. Getting this right is the Christian thing to do.
We sincerely want to acknowledge the stories and women in this blog, especially those who have asked for a response to so many of their questions.
To honor the purpose of this blog (to provide a safe place for MKs), we will not be dialoguing here. However, we have addressed the subject on our public website and invite you to view our response there. http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-responds-to-mks-blog/
Tony Beckett
Vice President
ABWE
I am very, very thankful that ABWE has responded to this in a humble posting on their website. Truly, it is more than I expected.
However, there is a real deal breaker for me in this. And I am very upset that what is being divulged as “news” has been known to them for a decade. And there is no apology, not even a mention, of the loathsome, horrific letter that the final victim on the mission field was forced to sign as a confession of guilt.
If you can read ABWE’s confession on their website and read the letters above that ABWE has had in their possession for 20 years and not be OUTRAGED that it took victims dragging this into the public square to get a response from ABWE, you are indeed deluded.
Please, please. Now that you see what ABWE themselves are admitting to, ask ABWE to submit to a third party investigation.
I would like to know if ABWE was every contacted before beginning this blog? To receive their FULL side of the story
It would seem that creating this blog without taking the appropriate Biblical measures only serves the purpose in judging, turning brother and sister against brother and sister, and unforgiveness.
Yes, ABWE was contacted 9 years ago the first time and then one and one half years ago this past time. I did receive what was their full side of the story.
Can I ask why ABWE seems to be the one attacked and put on the pedestal in this horrific incident that has happened and not the man himself?
You have not read the blog if you do not understand why ABWE is on trial.
Go back and reread.
Note the letter posted by former ABWE missionary:
William D. Barrick
Professor of Old Testament OT Editor, Evangelical Exegetical Commentary
Director of ThD Studies
The Master’s Seminary
13248 Roscoe Blvd.
Sun Valley, CA 91352
I might stand to lose some friends (which is miniscule compared to what others have lost), but it is time to stand up and be counted. Most of my life I have been a Donn Kethcam fan and ABWE fan, but this blog destroys all that and there is too much at stake for the victims for me to stand quietly on the sidelines.
I pretty much had the idyllic BD MK experience with my family there (1969-1979) similar to Tim Barrick’s March 20, 2011 at 9:33 am post. I have sometimes wondered why a high percentage of my fellow MKs have struggled or have had their lives completely shattered. We were close and precious to each other. Has the “Aha” moment finally arrived? Can we change the “Just pray for them–poor saps” approach into something more like “fight for the intrinsic dignity of their lives that was stolen from them through the barbaric acts of a man who was put over them by all their parental and spiritual authority figures”? If so, COUNT ME IN!!
Dear CAREPEAR, have you ever felt like not forgiving because the apology was so lame? These victims have had their intrinsic dignity ripped out of the deepest part of them at a most tender age and then as they beg and plead on the side of the road for the return of just a scrap of their self-worth, they are laughed at, ignored, or told to get over it, “just forgive” by the likes of us who have never experienced such a thing.
Sure, it is the victim’s job to forgive (and far be it from me to set a timetable on that process–it took me over six years of trying to forgive in one case). But it is the perpetrator’s job to restore that stolen dignity, and that clearly has not been done here. II Corinthians 7:10-11 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. ” The truly repentant one seeks DESPERATELY to make things right with the one wronged (not with his supporters using minimizing statements, coverup, etc).
If the perpetrator fails to satisfy the victim, then it is the community’s responsibility to extract a price from the perpetrator commensurate with the crime. Ever wonder why hell is so horrible? It is because God’s dignity is so great. Hell is the only punishment commensurate with the crime of mocking God and rejecting His Messiah. This principle can be found in the church discipline case of II Cor. 2:6 which says, “The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him.” From this verse and its context we can understand there is punishment that is insufficient, sufficient and too much. The punishment must reach the level of “sufficient” before the perpetrator is welcomed back into fellowship. (We also need to be careful not to stray into the “too much” level because Satan can make hay with that error as well.)
Now I am not the one to say what would constitute a “sufficient punishment”–although pastors are sometimes called on to render such judgments–but from both of the Corinthian passages it seems to me that the victims of the crimes have a say.
It’s pretty clear this hasn’t happened yet. And whose responsibility is it at this point? I can see all the cowards ducking their heads, some totally running for the hills. Come on, people! It’s OUR responsibility. This is not some sort of bravado. If Jesus said “I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat,” what will he say about ignoring our own sisters?
Uncle Donn, if you are reading this, I BEG of you to submit to the Scriptures and to the community of believers. Of the three men used by God to call me into the ministry at 14 years of age (1977-ish) you were the most influential. I wanted to know the Scriptures and make them come alive in preaching like you did. I treasure to this day the manuscript of your sermon on Bibliology which you personally typed up for me because it powerfully crystallized my convictions on inspiration and application of the Bible. What a thrill that at any time I wanted, I could skip next door to your house and ask a question about the Bible. Sometimes I would even get a lesson on how to find the Greek word in the concordance. I have followed you and your ministry with great affection over the years. It’s true that I heard of “some improprieties” that you committed over the years. I wanted to minimize them or overlook them. I did not want anything to get in the way of our relationship. If there is any way in which I have contributed to the culture of silence and kept the victims locked in their isolation cells of shame, I sincerely apologize!
Uncle Donn, perhaps you and the victims and their families and the leaders of ABWE, Russ Ebersole, Pastors Eleveld and Floyd did not understand pedophilia very well back in 1989 when you were dismissed from ABWE as noted by the official ABWE document posted at https://bangladeshmksspeak.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/ebersole-ltr-09-1989.pdf. However, there can be no doubt today that the resolution that was agreed upon at that time was a totally botched operation. The patient struggles for dear life on the gurney with several scalpels sutured deep inside, but all the talk is about restoring the good doctor. Not one word about the victims, who were CHILDREN! It sounds like you and your wife are the victims that need healing. NOT ONE WORD ABOUT THE CHILDREN! How about a confession? Try, “I left several scalpels inside and they will do a lot of damage if the patient tries to live and move. I will pay for the operation and their lifelong care for the wounds I caused.”
Uncle Donn, I have pastored for over 20 years now. I have dealt with criminals who only confess what they think that you know. They can do it with alligator tears. We only know we are getting somewhere when we start getting new information. Loads of it. Now I have no interest in this information and neither should the vast public who has access to this blog. But the victims, all the victims, have a right to hear you confess to whatever level of detail would satisfy them. It might even make it possible for them to forgive you.
If I know these dear souls at all, the truth is really all they need for satisfaction.
The world achieves this satisfaction through generous transfers of money, sometimes called “hush-money,” at other times called “punitive damages.” ABWE evidently achieves it by extracting a signed confession of a 14 year old in exchange for boatloads of false guilt. The Bible calls for “truth in love.”
Uncle Donn, this is my truth-in-love for you. Come clean! Let’s set up a clearing house for all of your victims and grant them their due. And it can’t be ABWE in charge. They need to start lining up in the confession/repentance line. G.R.A.C.E. looks to be a superior vehicle for this.
Uncle Donn, I really didn’t want to say this paragraph in public, because you whispered it in my ear. But I need to say it now, here. If you feel it breaks a confidence, I am sorry. At my ordination in October of 1990, I was so pleased to have you attend. It was like you had planted a seed and were on hand to see the plant break through the crusty soil. As you shook my hand, you leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Finish well!” I had some inkling of what was behind that, and it has been a stimulus to me to be above reproach, especially in regard to sex. You put $50 in the gift basket to help me build my pastor’s library, which I think was the largest gift. I sent you a thank-you note in which I believe I referred to myself as something of a “Timothy, your true son in the faith.”
Now, as a young man I lean forward and whisper into a father’s ear, your ear, “You, too, can finish well. Do not be held back by friends or family who for their own reasons need to maintain the facade or the silence. I would rather love the real Donn Ketcham than the fake one anyway, wouldn’t you? You can finish well by opening the windows and letting the light of truth fall on your past to drive the disease and demons out. You can finish well by truly caring for your victims and their healing and by ceasing to abuse them through your continued denials or silence. You can finish well by helping an outstanding mission organization to affirm that one man’s name is never worth more than a little girl’s life. You can finish well by finding out what it was that was missing in your heart that made molesting young girls so satisfying and by finally letting Jesus fill that place. You can finish well by destroying a stronghold of Satan in your heart that has propagated into many other hearts. You can finish well by stopping the cycle of sexual abuse. You can finish well by doing the greatest thing you have ever done in your life. It’s not over, Uncle Donn. You can still finish well.
With love and prayers for my whole ABWE family,
Dave DeCook
Dave, thank you for your amazing words and THANK YOU for being counted among those of us willing to give our names because we know too much and we WILL NOT be silenced again or made to fear that exposing sin hurts God’s work. Exposing sin honors God. Justice honors God.
I began reading this blog late last nite when it was forwarded to me, with increasing shock, but a faint glimmering sense of hope that this may begin the resolution of a deeply buried series of sins and crimes.
Susannah, I am grateful for your coming forward. I was with you at that 2002 MK reunion, and I had no idea the terrible burden you were carrying, and perhaps supressing. I pray that God works as only He can to heal you.
To my two classmates of the Largest Class Ever at Malumghat Christian School (five 6th graders!), I hope that the bright light of day shining on this filthy, sordid affair will give you release and freedom, and that God will heal your hearts as well.
And to my brother Dave, who addressed this so eloquently and so well, I am so proud of your words, your prophetic voice, your unequivocal call to do the Right Thing, as God would see it.
In a few short weeks, we will be celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus, when many miracles besides the resurrection occurred. Perhaps the cracking, tearing, thundering sound we can hear in these many voices above is indeed the earth opening up, tombs broken open, allowing the “bodies of many holy people who had died (to be) raised to life.”
To those who have spoken out, anonymously often, and felt accused and blamed, let me offer the words of Job in his 13th chapter:
“My eyes have seen all this,…
“What you know, I also know…
“But I desire to speak to the Almighty, and to argue my case with God.
“You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you!
“Hear now my argument, listen to the plea of my lips.
“Will you speak wickedly on God’s behalf?
Will you speak deceitfully for him?…
“Would it turn out well if He examined YOU?
Could you deceive Him as you might deceive men?
“He would surely rebuke you….
“Would not His splendor terrify you?
Would not the dread of him fall on you?
“Keep silent and let me speak;
then let come to me what may.
“Why do I put myself in jeopardy?
and take my life in my hands?
“Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him;
I will surely defend my ways to His face.
“Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance,
for no godless man would dare come before Him.”
Thank you for not keeping silent. Thank you for speaking. May God vindicate you.
In reply to Dan Decook: I think I should just save a post that says, “Your post made me cry”. I just got time this morning to read your whole post, and when I read the verses from Job, I broke down. I needed that. I pray it will comfort and encourage other victims as well. Thank you so much for your support.
Susannah
You have come so far in your eloquence since the days of making a mistake in a piano recital and being stuck with only the word “fat”. Seriously though, I bawled. Thank you for being such a terrific brother.
I read this and cry. They are good tears. They are healing tears. Thank-you.
Dave DeCook –
That is all we ask of both Donn Ketcham and ABWE. That is all and it is enough. Jesus paid the rest. The accusations on this blog by loyalists have hurt deeply for they see only bitterness. We have spent 20+ years working HARD at forgiveness. You have written words so wise, so perfect. We thank you for seeing it clearly.
I am deeply, profoundly sad with the letter ABWE sent out to missionaries (but to none of us). My husband questioned why it hurt so much…didn’t we expect such a sugar-coated response in the first place? My answer to him was this: “I was holding out hope that they would do right. That they would listen to the Holy Spirit enough to do what is right before God. It breaks my heart that they responded this way.” It grieves me and other loved ones (mk’s) courageous enough to post here.
Does that sound like the heart of a bitter person who is unwilling to forgive? I say NO! We long to extend forgiveness. We need it.
Yes, I am wondering about this. What is on the website only says that a letter was sent because of this blog. What was in the letter? Did only active missionaries get this letter? If so, why not all past missionaries also? Why haven’t all adult ABWE MKs received some sort of contact?
When the 2002 information came in on Ketchum, did ABWE contact all the Bangladesh MKs extending desire to care for any past hurts? I wasn’t at the 2002 conference. What about all those who weren’t? What about those who have purposely fallen off the grid because of their hurts? Has effort been made to reach out to them?
Perhaps some of these things did happen. I don’t know. They certainly should have. Seems to me that if we really are a family we wouldn’t be forgotten just because we don’t attend the family meetings anymore.
In short, fellow MK. No. Not a single effort was made to find out if there were more victims among those who cannot afford or chose not to go to the reunions. You make an excellent point, and I thank you for making it. – Tam
In response to those who have said my family has not been “blacklisted” I answer this: Why then do I receive no news from ABWE? Why was I not extended an offer to “talk” about the hurt in my life? Surely, if others need assurances of love and support as well as an offer for “counseling”, it would be me and my other sisters who are THE sisters of the 14 year old. The shame we have had to bear for being the family “that SOMETHING happened all those years ago and we think it involved DK” has been hard! We have been lonely. No such offer was extended to us. Ever. (Till now, but it comes late in the day, for sure.) Who would not feel blacklisted when you get phone calls that say, “We would invite you to the wedding, but DK will be there and well, that would just be awkward.” You think? Or this one: “We would have you come to the shower but there will be people there who might be uncomfortable if they have to talk to you.” Ya’ think?
What did we ever do wrong?
To “The Other Side” … regarding whether or not I am an ABWE missionary, no I am not, but I am a child of one. I am an insider. I grew up with these bonds of both love and oppression that were placed upon us by ABWE. I say love and oppression because we loved dearly people like Russ Ebersole who oversaw our field from the home office. We called him uncle. And he let a lion loose among us by not acting swiftly and biblically sooner. He insisted that Donn be granted forgiveness instead of justice again and again. That is why ABWE is being blamed and not just the pedophile. We trusted ABWE to do what was right and to know what was right and they did not and have not.
Tony Beckett’s official response for ABWE is a step toward justice and forgiveness. However, it is unfortunate that the response was made because ABWE is so completely boxed into a corner with no way out that they had no other option. There has even been a vast change from the response they sent out to their missionaries and the letter they put on their website today! Is this because of the new information made available to the public between now and then? I would say so. I wonder how different their response will be the next time more information is placed before public eyes?
ABWE, it is high time to clean out the closet. It is not enough to state the obvious.
You and Donn are going to have to go “over the top” in your admission of guilt and accept the consequences that are dealt, whatever they may be. If your faith is in JEHOVAH, you have to stop worrying about your own “reputation” and His, and let Him take care of it Himself. JEHOVAH is big enough to do this.
Your “efforts” to help the victims and their families that you refer to in your letter can be compared to giving a cancer patient a band-aid…insufficient and inappropriate for the complex disease that is eating away at life. We ask you to prove the sincerity of your apology and your desire to make this as right as possible by publicly taking full and complete responsibility and going over the top to provide help and healing.
I am part of the ABWE family, what letter are you referring to that was sent to the missionaries? I have not read anything that led me to believe ABWE was trying to cover up, or make light of this situation, or that they are trying to defend this Dr.
ABWE invites people to talk directly to them about this issue with a link on their web site. I think we should be cautious to not mindlessly bash the organization amongst ourselves (the evil “them” and “they”), with endless lists of “should have” and “shouldn’t have.” Here’s a couple concerns I just passed on to Tony Beckett (tony@abwe.org).
Dear ABWE
I’m sure you are scrambling up there on Miracle Mountain, but you still aren’t getting this right. I’ll just point out two things that are obvious to me.
First of all, your new statement that was posted on the ABWE website a couple of days ago refers to the host of the blog as a “self-described ABWE MK.” That is cold. That is offensive. That is demeaning. Do you doubt that she is an MK, one of those “ABWE MKs that we love oh-so-much”? How do you think she feels, being described thusly on your website? I’m not getting any warm fuzzies over here! Maybe ABWE operates with a blacklist. Not a literal paper with names on it, but with a mindset that there are some people against us and some people for us. If so, it shows right here.
You say that you became aware of the blog on March 15. Let’s see, that’s about a week and a half ago. Has anyone at headquarters picked up the phone and talked to the host of the blog? Yesterday I managed to pull it off in about 15 minutes and I have way fewer secretaries than you do. I ended up with a conversation with a dear friend who has the same voice and same sense of humor I remember from over 30 years before. I can assure you she is the real deal and she has a tremendous Christian spirit about this whole thing.
If you need help contacting her, I’ll be glad to help.
Secondly, you need to immediately turn this over to an independent investigation by a group like G.R.A.C.E. Not because you are not smart or not holy. Not because I, or someone else thinks you are not smart or not holy. Simply because your credibility rides on this. Others have mentioned this already. I just want to say that if you wait until a reporter asks whether the investigation is internal or independent, you just lost the game. You look no better than Donn Ketcham, who has to be forced into making a confession, and, like it or not, you get more closely associated with his deeds.
The longer you huddle with lawyers behind closed doors (or whatever you are doing, even praying) up there on the mountain, the more people will think you have something to hide. Do yourself a favor and step out into the light.
I have a biting tone in this letter with no intent to insult you, but to wake you up and let you know: you’re doing it again!
Still a fan of ABWE, but fading fast…
Dave DeCook
In Reply to Dave,
Thank you so much for your kind comments. You are quite right. I was hurt by the description of me as a “self described mk”. By the time the ABWE letter came out, they knew exactly who the author of the blog was. In fairness to ABWE, I must add that they have tried to make personal contact with me by phone, and I’m just hurting to much at this point to talk directly to them. I have asked them to communicate with me through GRACE. Once again, your post deeply touched me. Thank you.
Susannah
Dave I couldn’t agree with you more about ABWE’s slighting of the dear host of this blog in that announcement.
Believe me, ABWE got a letter from me about it. We all know she is not a “self-described” MK, and we all know what that sort of language does. It casts a shadow of doubt. Our dear host IS a Bangladesh ABWE MK. The fact is undisputed. And the dismissive language was careless at best, ruthless at its worst.
I also found the ABWE prayer request of the day (thank God for MKs who see themselves as part of their parents’ ministry–or some such thing) on that VERY important day to be spiritual abuse and manipulation of the worst kind. And, yes, I told ABWE this myself.
For me, those two acts, which showed so clearly their lack of compassion and understanding for sexually abused MKs who are truly taking a measure that is their last resort, clouded the victory of that day, which was that ABWE finally admitted to the world that DK is a pedophile.
As a friend of mine said … that letter was a start and not an end.
Totally totally agree. All the letters n replies (from ABWE HQ) sound so ‘Mechanical’ and close to ‘plastic’ sympathy. PLEASE someone speak the true language of Love so we can ‘feel’ it. I’m getting really disappointed and not at all impressed ~~~Where is Jesus’ Bleeding heart where he leaves the ‘safe’ haven n goes out looking for the one lonely sheep?
Is there something on the ABWE site other than the March 23 ABWE responds and the March 26 Answers posts?
I don’t see the words “self-described MK” Did they change them? Hmm…, if that is the case, hmm… I’m certain they’ve been watching New Tribes. Even with all New Tribes is doing poorly in dealing with their situation at least when they were called on something they publicly acknowledged it.
ABWE has said nothing publicly other than what you see there. Some churches have received other documents which we have posted here. One letter, at least. Maybe not two. But two responses on the ABWE website like you found.
And, yes, there was a huge outcry of indignation among the MKs when ABWE chose the words “self-described MK” to refer to Susannah. Rather than inserting a correction or apology for any unintentional hurt it might have caused, they simply took it out. They fixed it … but in a way they didn’t, because they never acknowledged how dismissive the language was to begin with. Kinda like removing DK from the field and never dealing with the real problem: lack of concern for individuals. – Tam
I printed their first response before they changed it. I have a copy I am willing to share if necessary. It was a cold, hard thing to say about Susannah. Abusive, really.
I am married to a Bangladesh MK from this time. The bloggers and victims are her dear childhood friends.
The post by ABWE is a small step but not enough. I hope they are willing to become a huge example to the Christian community, and the world at large, by diving in with both feet and with abandon for truth, transparency, repentance and amends.
Public amends equal to the years of private and secret pain. I absolutely believe that healing and trust can only be approached and achieved by an independent, 3rd party investigation.
ABWE, please help identify and reach out to other victims and expose potential for creating more and stop those practices.
ABWE, go beyond a reasonable attempt to root out other predators.
ABWE, do not wait for the victims to come begging to you any longer.
ABWE, do not direct them to a “complaints desk” where their cries may fall on deaf ears… again.
ABWE, do not minimize the sin and the failure by hoping it will be forgotten as an unpleasant episode as soon as possible.
ABWE, tell more than is forced out, in order to allow light into dark corners.
ABWE, aggressively and unrelentingly seek out other failures of the past, even those that no one else knows about yet and are well hidden, and confess and acknowledge them.
All this can only be achieved with help from the outside to overcome the temptation for self-preservation. Please, ABWE, ask G.R.A.C.E. to investigate you without restriction and without caveat. ABWE, don’t make that step be forced; embrace it and I and others will begin to truly believe there is a desire for healing and repentance.
I have been following this sordid saga and didn’t feel I had any right to participate but after reading this comment decided to speak up. My husband, David and I, were with ABWE from 1975 to 1993 in Australia. We had come to the conclusion we could no longer serve with them as we did not believe they were following their own principles and practices laid down in their pamphlet and we did not agree with their rank and file corruption. We wrote a letter of resignation to ABWE thinking all was well. ABWE told us not to write our churches of our resignation so we returned to the states to report to our churches as well as have a meeting with ABWE and my husband left that meeting thinking he had simply resigned. Little did we know ABWE had written our churches and told them we were terminated for insubordination. So obviously we were insubordinate for wanting to resign. To this day they have never written to us personally saying we were terminated and to the reasons why. Several months after my husband and others continued to request a letter stating we were terminated and to the reason they sent us a letter that they had sent to the churches but we never got a personal letter telling us directly. So this is one of the reasons I am not surprised how ABWE handled this sin in the camp. When we were gong through this some told us they handled us far worse than they handled Dr. Donn Ketcham ( we did know about Dr. Donn Ketcham having to leave the field but we assumed it was adultery and I guess that is what ABWE wanted us to think) and all we wanted to do was go quietly away, well we didn’t end up going quietly as we had some who were willing to check this all out. In fact one pastor asked if we did anything wrong on the field because if we did he would expose it, we assured him he could check all he wanted as all we wanted to do was to leave ABWE. What I am surprised about is the loyalty that is felt toward ABWE from our fellow missionaries when we wanted simply to resign. The field counsel treated us very pompous and arrogant, the then president, John Koster, harassed my husband by phone many times, it was like we were monsters. In saying this they gave us a plaque with a verse telling us they hoped we would find peace. Well I can tell them we are now local church missionaries still in Australia and we have never looked back. By the way none of the missionaries we served with our here now. I do wish this wasn’t so missjointed and I don’t want to give the impression our situation was anything like the molestation of these young girls and in fact most of the time it isn’t even thought about and only usually when we get confronted about ABWE in some way. I have written to ABWE and requested they use GRACE as a 3rd party as their corruption has got to stop. I truly believe ABWE is a pragmatic orginization that has so much self interest that they can’t see beyond themselves. God’s Word has an answer to ever problem we face but from what I know about ABWE they seem to think they are even beyond His Precious Word. They have become a monster orginazation that is self regulatory.
Another person seems to be scrutinized on this blog…the sending pastor. Has anyone asked him what he was told? What he knew and when he knew it?
I DID talk to him and he was adamant, as was the Chairman of the Board, that they were not told it was a minor, only an extramarital affair.
Re-read the letters. It seems EVERYONE outside of ABWE was made to believe it was adultery.
You are right. It has come to our attention in the last 24 hours that the sending pastor was not informed of the sin/crime of pedophilia. They were told that he dismissed for an affair with a consenting adult (which did happen, as stated in his confession) but had taken place more than a few years prior to the 14 year old girl’s disclosure of the crime committed against her. They were not told of the affair when it happened, and in their own words, would’ve exercised their authority and removed him from the field at that time. In which case – my sister would’ve never been violated and she would be a different person today.
This also means the sending church unknowingly had a serial pediphile in their midst.
According to the Michigan Department of Community Health, no formal complaints nor disciplinary action has been filed against DK.
You can see his license here http://www7.dleg.state.mi.us/free/publicinfo.asp?rb_name=&rb_facility=&l_person_id=77162&l_profession_id=43&l_license_id=77423&Last_Name=KETCHAM&First_Name=DONN&License_number=&Facility_Name=&DBA_Name=&profession=43&offset=0
Amos 5:24 – But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream! (NIV)
Unfortunately, from everything I’ve experienced—and I’ve experienced a lot—ABWE has built a dam to stop this river from flowing. The letters from “Tony” stung. It was like so many other letters I’ve received from ABWE, like some carefully crafted legalese. Instead of the word becoming flesh, it’s the flesh becoming words. An organization that purports to preach the TRUTH around the globe continues to demonstrate that it isn’t interested in the truth in so many other matters. Am I being harsh? Really?!
My family and I returned from the field in distress in 2003 because of more horrible crimes of rape, plus sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, etc., that had been perpetrated by national “pastors” of ABWE, men who are PAID directly or indirectly by ABWE to this day. These men are still in “ministry” in Bangladesh, protected by the very mission that is trying to wash its hands of the Ketcham matter. After returning in February of 2003, it took 3 months to get a meeting with ABWE. We suffered in silence in Grand Rapids waiting for anyone to call, to care. Deafening silence. It took the prodding of our smallest supporting church ($25/month) to embarrass ABWE enough to finally allow a meeting in May.
I drove 22 hours round trip with my pastor to this meeting. I was told I would be given 90 minutes to state why I was there, but only actually was given 45 minutes because Dr. Loftis showed up late and then spent precious minutes regaling my pastor with stories about things in his office, including (ironically) a story of “the buck stops here” he inherited from the previous president. I won’t go into all that transpired that day because that’s for another day, another forum. However, I will say that what I experienced that day in the “miracle on the mountain” devastated me. I wondered where God was, because I didn’t find Him there. Driving through the mountains of Pennsylvania with my pastor sleeping in the passenger seat, I remember looking over at him and thinking that if he weren’t riding with me nothing would keep me from driving off a cliff. I died inside that day and entered a period of 7 years of the deepest depression imaginable that ended only two years ago, by God’s grace.
My point in sharing the above is not to take the story away from the girls who have suffered so horribly for years, because what I went through doesn’t even begin to compare with their stories. I simply want to point out to those who say “Leave them alone; this is the new ABWE” that the same spirit remains to this day. It is a systemic (demonic) problem that persists. They can scramble all they want and try to cover theirs rears by trotting out new and improved policies, but the fact remains that they have never come completely clean about Donn Ketcham and other much more recent matters. There are precious brown-skinned girls AS WELL who have suffered in silence for years because the field and home leadership protects certain national leaders, ensuring that they are virtually untouchable. The same culture of fear that was fostered here is still alive and well in Bangladesh.
So many questions! So much to say!
Do you all realize that ABWE never informed the Ketcham’s sending church about his adultery with a “consenting nurse” and apparently other women? They had NO CLUE, until two days ago, that he was allowed to remain in exile in Chittagong for a year before returning to the scene of past and future endeavors. And, when he was sent home for being a pedophile his home church was told that it was because of “having an affair with an unmarried consenting nurse”. Apparently, the local church is insignificant, only an entity to glean money from and a doorstep to dump their unwanted children on. What would make them usurp the authority of the local church in this matter? I have reason to believe that the sending church would have pulled them off the field upon receiving news of the first transgression. If the biblical model had been following, would all these girls have been spared?
I am reminded of a book that a friend sent me when we resigned from the field. The title? God Can Do It Without You. A humbling gift? Yes. But a great reminder that God doesn’t need me to accomplish anything for Him in this world. He can have a stone share the Good News if He so desires. Oh what love and grace He displays in allowing us to be (weak) vessels in His service—as long as we remain broken and contrite before Him. God doesn’t need ABWE to reach the world. He will accomplish all of His purposes without them. However, He can and will use them as long as they are broken and contrite before Him. When we come clean before our Lord he rains down His blessings on us!
Isaiah 1:16 (NIV)
16 Wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
stop doing wrong.
17 Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow.
So that ABWE has SOME kind of voice in this whole thing, since the majority of you are not letting them have one… here is what ABWE has made public and this is only the beginning…
On Tuesday, March 15, 2011, ABWE was notified of a blog created by a self-described ABWE MK (missionary kid) as a forum to discuss numerous disturbing sexual abuse allegations involving former ABWE missionary, Dr. Donn Ketcham. The blog stated its second purpose was to “document how the mission agency [ABWE] he served under has protected both his private and public reputation by leaving the impression that he was dismissed from the mission as a result of an affair, not pedophilia.”
We are deeply grieved by the stories being shared on this blog and desire to respond to comments and questions posed there with integrity and compassion. It is our hope to bring healing to the families victimized by these events by communicating clearly, truthfully, and openly as we work to confirm information regarding these allegations.
In 1989 we received a report of sexual abuse of a female minor by Dr. Donn Ketcham, while he was serving as an ABWE missionary in Bangladesh. ABWE immediately investigated and confirmed that incident, and as a result, Dr. Ketcham was removed from the field and terminated from service.
In 2002 we received additional reports from several now-adult MKs (missionary kids) who expressed their suspicion that Dr. Ketcham might have also sexually abused them as children.
While we have not been able to confirm these stories through our own investigations, the substantial commonalities lead us to believe they are credible.
ABWE wants to publically express both our love and concern for the MKs who are courageously sharing their stories on the blog. We also want to express our sincere regret for any failure on our part to discover their abuse earlier or to take further actions to prevent the injustice of these women’s silent pain, which coexisted with public praise of Dr. Ketcham’s missionary service. Further, we acknowledge that it was wrong to withhold naming his crime, pedophilia. Not naming that crime enabled further injustice to the victims and also may have put other children at risk.
When Dr. Ketcham’s termination was reported in a letter to supporting churches and donors, the letter referred to “immoral conduct,” not pedophilia, as the reason for his termination. This enabled him to represent himself as a former medical missionary in his community without having to acknowledge his crime.
Donn Ketcham is not a retired missionary; he was terminated from service. He receives a pension from ABWE because he is entitled to it by law. We have not promoted him as an ABWE speaker; and on at least one occasion, we refused to permit him to serve on the board of an ABWE subsidiary. If Dr. Ketcham visited ABWE ministry locations, it was at the invitation of friends and family, not in any official capacity. ABWE has never denied or withheld information about his crime when asked.
Additionally, when we were informed Dr. Ketcham had moved membership from one church to another, ABWE personnel alerted the receiving pastor of the reason for Dr. Ketcham’s termination, so the church leadership could take appropriate action under their policies to protect children.
Despite these sincere efforts, we acknowledge that we could have done more to counter the injustice experienced by the women who were victimized by Dr. Ketcham. We hope this public response will be a step in the direction of healing the hurt we have caused.
We express deep regret for those who were harmed by Dr. Ketcham’s actions.
We regret the way in which the public response of ABWE to Dr. Ketcham’s crimes left an impression that we tolerate abuse or seek to defend the reputation of offenders. We seek forgiveness for those feelings of abandonment or injustice which have been caused by the inadequacy of our past response.
When requested by victims in the past, we have offered help by providing counseling fees and other services. That stands true today. It is always our heart to give MKs a safe place to voice their pain and tragic experiences, and we welcome any opportunity to participate in their healing.
We are glad to report that the ABWE Board has adopted a strong child protection policy designed to provide safety for all our MKs and other children in our ministries worldwide. ABWE has always had a zero-tolerance policy toward sexual abuse of children, as described in our Board-approved Child Protection Policy; however, the new policy offers training and strategies for response to better equip our leadership to deal with the perpetrators and victims of these horrible crimes.
Additionally, ABWE has been involved with the Child Safety and Protection Network since its first meeting in 2006, and we are among the first applicants for their newly initiated membership approval process, which is intended to assure best practices in implementing child protection standards.
If you have knowledge or concern about any child who was abused by Dr. Ketcham or other ABWE personnel, please contact our Child Safety and Protection Officer, Nancy Hepworth, at nhepworth@abwe.org.
For questions and concerns regarding the blog or ABWE’s response, please contact Tony Beckett, Vice President of Church Relations, at Tony@abwe.org.
20 years ago something happened, maybe.
Seems to me if this was legit it would have been dealt with in the courts. I know, I know…but people were scared and it was covered up. Allegedly.
To me, unless this is proven in the court of law it is just a crude form of gossip. If the claims are true then it was incredibly miss-handled by the parents and the organization.
This entire website reminds me of some kind of circus, and you are nothing more than a ring leader. To what purposes you are attempting to work toward I’m sure not even you know.
Do your best not to rip this post down, you put it up in public to voice your side, don’t rip mine down because I think your position is both unfounded and an incorrect attempt at vigilantism.
I can’t help but think Jesus would not be impressed with your actions.
Tracy, with all due respect, 20-30 years ago something DID happen.And in 1989 something happened. And throughout years BEFORE that “things” happened. Read the letters. All of them. Read the response from the ABWE board….lacking in some areas as it was. Dealt with in the courts?? Just as a point of information, you do realize that these events took place out in the middle of a jungle in southeast Asia, right? That’s like 12,000 miles away from the good ole USA. Most Americans don’t have a clue about the rest of the world. We had no computer. Thus no email. No phones. No TV and it took 3 hours to drive 60 miles to get to a phone. Then the call had to be “pre-arranged”. Sometimes the call got through…sometimes it didn’t. Also families were out of the USA for 4 years at a time. I understand the statute of limitations is 3 years in most states. As lame as it may sound, the families were told to “keep silent”. Have you ever suffered a severe trauma to your body/soul and know how the mind can block it out for years? I do. Unless you have access to all the facts…..and you won’t get them all here I doubt…..I would be very cautious if I were you to take sides without knowing the entire truth. Do NOT continue to threaten the one who manages this site by daring her to “not” post your remarks. This site is primarily for the MK’s and those close to them to be able to work through this horrible situation. As far as I’m concerned, she has my permission to ignore you. These girls, now women, do not need to listen to your snide remarks and I quite frankly don’t care if you have to slink off with your tail between your legs fuming as you go. I hate it when people think they know everything when they really don’t have a clue. And don’t talk about Jesus not being “impressed with her actions”. She is not the guilty party here. And one other thing. I take offense with you—oops…I’m not supposed to take up an offense on behalf of another person. I am biting my tongue and choose to say no more to you. However, I will ask Dave, Dan, Joe, Bill, Deb, etc etc what they think about having to put up with your degrading remarks. My own personal opinion is that if it doesn’t help these girls then it hinders them.
Three cheers, Cheryl P!!!!!
thank you, cheryl
I live in Allendale, Michigan and heard on the news about Dr. Ketchum. He is (or was until this evening) still practicing medicine. In fact, many of my family members were patients of his. My heart goes out to those he victimized. I find it unfathomable that everyone had to hide this heinous behavior for so many years. I am also outraged that because ABWE chose to go this route, so many people were at risk for potential harm. How is any of this following any kind of Christian principles? How can protecting a pedophile at the risk of others be part of Christian teaching? How can people practice the wholesale acceptance of abuse against innocent children and the protection of the abuser? I hope his victims can find peace and I applaud you for your courage in speaking out. Your bravery is supported by countless people. Good luck.
It’s hit the news…
http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/local/ottawa_county/Blog-Doctor-had-Bangladesh-child-sex
My wife and I are ABWE missionaries currently serving in the U.S. I have sent the following comments in a regular update to those on our mailing list, and I wanted to post it here because I wanted you to know that we stand with you and want the truth revealed. Here’s what I sent:
“The sermon focused on the sovereignty of God. Using Romans 8:28 as the core of his message, the speaker demonstrated the goodness of God’s sovereignty with stories from his extensive missionary service. His dignified demeanor underscored his personal confidence in God, and his artfully crafted rhetoric manifested a professionalism worthy of one of ‘God’s choice servants.’ I was mesmerized. Of all the speakers I had heard as a student at Cedarville College, I was convinced he was one of the best. And he was an ABWE missionary.
“Several years later, I applied to become an ABWE missionary myself. During the extensive interview and training process, I asked about this man and learned that he had ‘left’ his field of service. I was quite curious, as I was surprised that someone who had spoken so convincingly of his love for missions and his chosen field of service (Bangladesh) would just ‘leave.’ I pressed for more information, and I was told that he had left the field due to ‘a moral failure,’ and I was led to believe the issue was adultery. I dropped the issue, as it did not seem my business to ask more.
“Today I learned that this man, Dr. Donn Ketcham, was forced to leave Bangladesh because he was a pedophile who committed crimes against minors. This information became public a couple of weeks ago as victims banded together through an internet blog to address this injustice, and we received an e-mail from ABWE this morning acknowledging the facts of the case.
“I also learned that ABWE did not make this information public at the time of its discovery, but, seemingly, acted to prevent that information from becoming public. One of his victims, a 14-year-old girl, was actually compelled to write a letter confessing her sins with him (which began when she was only 12-years-old), as if she were an equal partner in this sin.
“Nicole and I are devastated by these revelations. We are shocked and appalled at this man’s actions and the failure of ABWE’s administration to deal with these events appropriately. We are distressed that so many of our dear friends have been caught up in this man’s perversions and have been directly and indirectly affected. We are deeply disturbed by the administration’s handling of this.
“We believe this is a time for repentance on the part of ABWE and its missionaries. Though Nicole and I have not participated directly in this man’s wrongs, we accept that we, as part of ABWE, must bear the burden of shame. We cannot distance ourselves from the policies and attitudes of ABWE. We have ascribed to them and endorsed them. But we, and I dare say our colleagues, must stop now and reevaluate. Any administrative philosophy that would create or endorse such dealings with sin is fundamentally flawed. The time has come for corporate repentance.
“As I consider this matter, I remember this man’s sermon, and I realize he inadvertently became another proof of the truth he preached. Through His perfect sovereignty, God has made this hidden sin known and has called His people to repentance. If we ABWE missionaries are truly ‘God’s choice servants,’ we will humble ourselves beneath His merciful and loving hand.
“Please pray for the victims. And pray for a godly response from ABWE.”
I also have read every comment on this site and am disgusted with what was done by this man, but I am not so sure about the wisdom behind what you sent out to your mailing list. Who is on your mailing list? Are they all Christians with a heart for truth, justice, reconciliation, forgiveness, etc. We don’t want this to become a matter of common gossip and ABWE bashing. Just keep in mind that once something is said, it can never be unsaid. I think that we should all be careful what we allow to come out of our mouth or computer.
To “Fellow ABWE Missionary” I have no “mailing list”, and if I did , though I am a Christian myself, I certainly wouldn’t limit it to just Christians. Christians are not the only ones who care about truth, justice, reconciliation, and forgiveness. In fact, I would venture to say that some people reject Christianity because they see us displaying such a poor example of the above virtues. I pray that all of us would be humble before God through this and that the complete truth would be revealed.
Susannah
I would have to agree with “Fellow ABWE Missionary” about mailing out this stated letter. To the Pilet’s, I would see no reason for the mission board to give you any details about why another missionary was let go from service. Think about it, an employeer is not legally allowed to give such information, there could be similar restraints on the board. Or it could just be that it is not their place to tell someone else’s “moral failures” to anyone who asks. As for what someone is led to believe, sometimes I think that is based on our interpretation. Background can play a big part there, I typically come to different assumptions than my husband when general statements such as “moral failure” are made because we grew up in very different worlds. I would seriously pray over sending out this correspondence and seek to speak with those at ABWE to get their full answers before you do. I haven’t seen anything so far that has led me to believe this current administration is trying to hide things. I think all of us are broken hearted about what took place on this field. I’m sure if you speak to anyone at the home office they will not be totally supportive of what action took place 22 years ago, but I don’t think they are responsible for those actions. It sounds from the personal account of another on here that as the current administration has learned information they have taken steps to act on it. Wouldn’t filing a formal complaint against someone, or a legal suit require the action of those abused? I know a young lady who was sexually abused as a child, it was reported but it was not taken to court. There is no record attached to this man who abused her either. I have encouraged her to check into legal proceedings against the man, especially since he has young children, but it is a very difficult process with little hope of anything happening and this happened on US soil, approx.12 yrs ago, and was reported initially to authorities here. I do pray for wisdom for all those at the home office as they are attempting to do what is right and attempt to do what they are able. Unfortunately, the Dr. well no one can make him confess to more than what he chooses to confess to, we are all sinners with a free will, I pray he chooses to confess his wrongs to those he has hurt, but only the Holy Spirit can do that. I pray for the ladies involved in all this that they will have peace and healing in their lives.
Susannah,
My reply was not directed to you or anything that you have written. In my opinion, you are speaking from first hand knowledge and know exactly what you are talking about. My comment was in response to the above comments from the Pilets and the letter that they sent out to their mailing list.
Reply to fellow ABWE Missionary”: Thank you for your clarification. I do not know the Pilets or anything about the letter they sent out to their mailing list.
One more comment to “ABWE Fellow Missionary” I just found the post from the Pilets and now it all makes sense. I really appreciated their post and apologize if I offended you with my initial response to you.
Susannah
My heart broke as I read through this and the comments that have been posted. I grew up next door to the Ketcham family. My family left Bangladesh when I was 12 due to medical illness of my mom. Several years ago my mom asked me if Uncle Donn had ever done anything “inappropriate” to me. I was told a little at that time about the accusations of what had happened but not the full story as is now being revealed. I was not one of his victims. I applaud the bravery of Susannah for standing up and speaking out. I cannot imagine the pain and heartache that you and other victims have had to face in your life. My memories of growing up in Bangladesh are precious. It breaks my heart that others did not have this rich experience of growing up on the mission field. How one who professes to love God can do such heinous acts is beyond my capacity to understand or fathom. I just wanted to thank you for your willingness to speak up and know that you have an entire MK family behind you to support you during this time. May God strengthen you and comfort you and all those who are affected by this.
Suzannah – Thank you for your courage in helping to bring this into the open. I’m praying for you and everyone involved!
Dave DeCook – Thank you for your message addressed directly to DK. I pray he will heed your advice.
To Tamara Barrack Rice – I’m sorry if I gave the impression that I think ABWE is doing everything right. It’s obvious that this situation was NOT handled correctly back in 1989 when his abuse was first discovered. I just wanted to share what I was told when I personally met with the mission’s lawyer that gave me some hope that something had been and was being done. Before meeting with him, I had written him an extensive letter sharing our family’s stories (because the mission had asked for them and I knew my sister’s would not be able to do so at that time, so I did so on their behalf). Here are some excerpts from that letter (dated Nov. 18, 2009):
“I’ve been meaning to write to you for some time now. The sexual abuse, which occurred on the mission field by Dr. Donn Ketcham to my sisters and many other MK’s who were on the mission field while he was there, has weighed heavily on my heart for a long time… It is frustrating knowing Dr. K. is living his life as “a respected member of the community” while so many of the young girls he molested are living messed up lives and in so much pain because of what he has done to them. My fear is that he is continuing on with this abuse and ruining more lives because no one knows what he has done and he’s never been brought to justice. He is a pedophile and pedophiles usually do not just stop this kind of behavior. Has ABWE confronted him about this? Have they notified all the churches that he’s involved with that he was removed from the mission field, not only for his inappropriate behavior with woman and having sexual affairs with both missionary woman and Bengali woman, but also for molesting young girls? If not, why not? If he truly has repented and changed his ways since then (and I don’t know whether he has or not), then he should, at the very least, confess what he has done and ask forgiveness from all of his victims. I know nothing is going to change what has already happened, but it might help the victims in some small way to know that he has confessed to this and is remorseful.”
I then went on to give as many specific details as I could about my sister’s abuse. I ended the letter with this:
“I think that Dr. K. abused his position and knew how to “pick” his victims (the vulnerable ones). I don’t think he was violent or mean, but, instead, “wooed” his victims – gave them attention and made them feel special before taking advantage of them. Sadly, I’m sure there are others who we aren’t even aware of. I know of at least 6 victims… Every child who was on the mission field at the same time as he was should be questioned about this. Some may not even know that there were others that were abused and may think that they were the only one and have been keeping it in all this time…
What can be done? I realize that there is no “hard” evidence now and that it’s the victim’s words against his and that many years have passed since the abused occurred… Honestly, I have been tempted at times to call the “press” – anyone who will listen & investigate – to blow this whole situation out of the water (it’s been done before!), but haven’t done that yet because of my family members who are associated with ABWE & don’t want to hurt or bring embarrassment to them. ABWE should not be held responsible for what Dr. K. did, but they do need to step up and do more than what was initially done (retiring him from the mission field), especially now that they know about this abuse. If they don’t, the victim’s will feel like an “ugly family secret” is being kept quiet or brushed under the rug. They need to feel heard and be believed!! Most of the victim’s have not been in touch with each other. How could so many of them be lying?? Why would any of them make this kind of stuff up?? Most of them don’t even want to talk about it – they are ashamed and embarrassed, but it’s not their fault – IT’S HIS – and something needs to be done about him!!!
Please, please help these girls (women now)! They need to know that the mission behind the man who did this to them, has done everything they can to stop him and make his evil deeds public. They need to know that they are not alone. They need to feel validated – that they are heard and believed. They need help, but some don’t know how to get help for themselves or have the finances to do so. They need someone to represent them and bring about justice. I hope that person is you. Thank you for your time and consideration of this most difficult matter.”
So, after writing that letter, my sister and I met personally with the lawyer (Dec. 2009) and that’s when we were told some of the information we mentioned in my original response – i.e. that the Michigan Medical Board, his place of employment, & his church(es) had all been warned about his sexual abuse of children. We were given the impression, based on the research he had done, that we probably didn’t have a chance at a legal recourse. We also left there with the impression that the mission was actively trying to figure out what their responsibility was and what they could do to help those who were affected by DK.
I will say that I am thankful that, after that meeting, my sisters found a Christian counselor (who had helped and was recommended by another one of DK’s victims) who is helping them and that the mission is paying for their sessions.
(P.S. I also just want to say that I am NOT “buying into the lie that covering for a man sins is saving the work of the gospel”. DK needs to confess his sins, ask forgiveness, and then suffer the consequences of his actions. The gospel will continue to go out because God is in control, not us.)
Linda, thank you for clarifying where you stand. What a painful letter that must have been for you to write and I applaud you for writing it. I’m just sorry that more was not done for those in your family who have been so hurt. Free counseling is great … but justice may be just as healing. Saying a prayer for your family tonight.
As has been mentioned many, many times already, it is not possible to file any kind of suit against him. Exactly what kind of justice are you looking for now? I was a victim of this same kind of situation 23 years ago, however, I still do not understand the need for constantly bashing those who made mistakes, and have admitted them publicly on the website. I hurt for the victims but it also breaks my heart to read constant tearing down of fallible people (and I’m not speaking of Dr. K). Absolutely things should have been handled differently and ABWE has apologized and attempted to make things right. I still sense a spirit of bitterness and that needs to be dealt with as well. I agree that God is a God of justice as well as forgiveness but since there is no legal way to pursue justice, what would make all of you feel that justice has been done and end this blog?
Although there is an attempt to make things right via the notes on ABWE’s website, there is what someone else called it, a systemic problem with the way the mission does business. There needs to be a complete overhaul, perhaps even a cleaning of personnel in the house, a start over. The problem is broader than even this sexual abuse case. It has been mentioned that there was a coverup of a physical abuse situation on a different field. There are other coverups, of which some sending pastors have become aware. This administration will not be trusted because they do not have the skills or moral understanding to make this right. The ABWE Board needs to take over this situation, it cannot be solved in house.
Joyce and I want to commend your courage and your reasons for opeing up the blog. And for all your entries, which have been so exemplary of real Christian character, maturity, and grace. You have encouraged those who need encouragement, and been very gentle and humble to those who were harsh. It is obvious that your desire is that those who have suffered abuse, resulting many times in devastated lives, can find some measure of healing and recovery by finally being able to be heard and understood as the innocent victims of a moral crime against both them and against God. And, it gives the perpetrator of this evil behavior toward young women a chance to specifically confess and ask each one (both the victims and their parents) for forgiveness,–which could help them gain meaningful restoration in their lives (which is the desire of all of us, and of our Lord) . We are praying for you all.
I am a Missionary. I was molested when I was 16 by a Neiborhood ‘Uncle’ – trusted family friend – sounds familiar doesn’t it? He was a non-believer. It took me 3 decades to gain victory over the shadow of haunting memories and flashbacks that abuse brings upon its victims. I work as a Counselor now. Most of you will know that the number of abuse that go on is Staggering.
Words of Hope and Comfort:
Along with the Victims’ (hearts) God’s Heart is BLEEDING. “But whoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea” . MAtthew 18:6 (AKJV). These are His Babies – He made them, He gave His LIFE For them.
DK’S SINS ARE FIRST AND FOREMOST AGAINST GOD:
Psalm 51:4:Against You, You only, I have sinned, And done what is evil in Your sight…”
A COMFORT AND WARNING AT THE SAME TIME:
“You have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out.” Numbers 32:23. Dk’s Sins are catching up with him.
God of the Bible is ALL About TRANSPARANCY. David, the ‘Man after his own Heart’ wasn’t spared, Abraham ‘the Father of Nations’ Either (And so many of God’s people) – Their spicy story of Adultery and Murder (Dave) and Lies (Aby) laid Bare for the World to See AND God’s Justice in Punishing Sin Fills most of the Bible. God is LOVE – But don’t forget to Look at the other side of the coin: It Reads ‘JUSTICE’. God’s very Character Requires both.
I am praying for All involved. We cannot forget that God loves DK as much as he does anyone of us. It is his Sins that God hates. But for the grace of God…I could be another DK. Btw, until DK comes out ‘ALL CLEAN’ about his sins, confesses, asks forgiveness, repents and actively seeks justice to take place he will continue to live in ‘hell on earth’ because ‘Darkness and Light’ cannot live together. Pray he does that sooner than later…and Nothing is Impossible with God (Lk 1:37).
@ Phil Walsh: I praise God for bringing you out of the pit, bro. I have suffered from deep depression and God brought me out too – so worn those shoes.
@ Everyone hurting: Keep receiving God’s LOVE.
@ ABWE : Individual letters to all Missionary Family’s who served in BD as suggested with appropriate content will be a good START…then continue to ask: ‘WWJD’ and do that.
I pray for those who are hurting Comfort and strength from our Lord Jesus. May His Pure and Eternal love shower Healing Rain and Restore you to New Heights of Beauty and Glory for Him, for yourself to Enjoy Life as God intended and to bless others. Love and Hugs.
I meant to specifically address my note (above) to Susannah. We really respect you for this effort at healing! Uncle Joe
Many of you have said much more eloquently than I could the very things that I would express in regards to this situation, but I wanted to weigh in as a “short-term” MK at Malumghat and express my support for the victims and their families.
I believe that God has built in to us all a thirst for justice, an understanding that He is grieved by sin and victimization, and a thirst for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. I applaud the current leadership of ABWE for admitting the complicity of their former leaders in not letting the light of God’s truth shine into this darkness. I’m sure that the victims and their families are also pleased at this first step.
I am also that after more than 20 years of silence and pain, more will need to move toward healing. I pray that ABWE will continue to work in that direction, and that doing so may finally bring the victims and their families a measure of the peace that Jesus came to bring a hurting world, a peace that they have too long been denied. And I pray that after all these years Donn Ketchum will better understand the pain and suffering he caused and seek the forgiveness of those he sinned against.
And finally, all of my love, support, and prayers are with the victims of abuse and their families, both those I know personally and those I don’t. You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence any longer. Jesus would not want you to.
Saw this on the WOOD TV 8 site:
Mary Heckle 7:10 pm
I was not his victim but I am a victim. You have no idea what people do to stop you from talking, from hiding the “secret”. When you realize that you can’t live with yourself because others could be hiding the pain, you try to block the memories but it hurts so bad you don’t even want to live, because they are still alive others could be getting hurt still, and not letting anyone in because of walls NOT EVEN GOD! I just got saved tonight, because I let my walls down and showed my frailty and God showed me I can be healed! I have been fighting these memories and nightmares, not dealing with it because of fear and rejection. Well there are consequences for sin… There is healing for the afflicted and yes there is God’s Grace for all of them. If you haven’t walked the victim’s shoes please don’t judge. It took these ladies great COURAGE to come forward, this website gave me courage to open up and as a result I have a Heavenly Father that calls me his child, I too can have healing! Thank you ladies for making such an impact and giving me the courage to seek it! God is in Control and I will be praying.
Amen….God can turn something bad into something good…ok wonderful.
True forgiveness can take place without the repentance of the offender. Forgiveness does not depend on both parties. Reconciliation does however require repentance. In some situations reconciliation is not possible and is not healthy, i.e. sexual abuse.
As someone with a tangential connection to the Ketchum family and the family of one of the survivors of his abuse, I want to applaud you all for your courage and your grace in 1-bringing your stories to the light for the healing of others and 2-being an outstanding example of what it means to “speak the truth in love.” As someone who suffered abuse at the hands of someone close to me, I can only stand back in awe of your courage. I pledge you all my prayers as God continues to shepherd you through this.
I know the Walsh’s and DeCook’s. I hate to use the word Mr or Dr. in front of Ketchums name. These were missionaries our church/family supported. I became very close to one of girls involved. I helped encourage her to go to a Christian Counselor and attended some sessions with her. There is no doubt in my mind that it was real. If any of you were to have seen what she went through “recalling” what had happened to her at the hands of someone that was like a father to her, you would not doubt either. Abuse leaves its stamp on a persons life. You can’t just erase it. I am so thankful for the Christain Counselor who didn’t care about what he got paid or if he got paid. I lost some respect for ABWE for not believing when they were first told of others that Ketchum had hurt. I wish Ketchum would ask each one for forgiveness before he stands face to face with God. I am sorry for his family but these are the sins of their father. I am praying for healing and a peace that only God can give the childen (now adults) that were innocent in all of this and bare no responsiblity for the actions of a sinful man.
I am not an MK, but all of these comments have left me grieving for those hurt in all of this. I am close, and personal friends, really family to Mike and Dianna Durrill. I also happen to be the cousin of the president of ABWE. The things that Mr Keachim did were beyond wrong. It is obvious that ABWE mishandled the situation. It was, many years before Mike Loftis was president. I have read this whole blog, and have been to, and read ABWE’s website. I believe they are beginning the process make things right. They have expressed that, and support this avenue of communication. Mike and. Dianna Durrill are one of the godliest couples I know, and so is my cousin, Mike Loftis. My prayer is that all of your voices, and concerns will be heard, and handled for all parties involved that God would be glorified. But can we please not pass judgment on the current ABWE administration, who didn’t make that.
2 things
Black and White thinking causes erroneous interpretations and applications – 100% good people don’t exist. Even good and wonderful people can do really bad things.
Judgment – There are two kinds of judgment, one that belongs only to God and one we do. How can we discern right from wrong, evil from good if we don’t judge? How can we refrain from association with the immoral Christian if we can’t judge who is the immoral Christian? (see I Cor. 5) for that one. WE are called to do justice. How can we do that without judging?
decision, but allow them now to try to r reader to solve this? He has a family with children as well, and seeks to please God like all of us do. Thank-you for this blog and allowing an unimportant reader to contribute. IN HIS GRIP
I’ve never been an MK, but I seriously considering going a short-term mission trip to Bangladesh years ago — in the mid-1980s, no less. I went to college in Grand Rapids with many MKS from Bangladesh. I don’t know the exact years that this doctor was committing his crimes, but I do recognize family names of folks that I knew in college.
I read about this when a link to the WOOD-TV article was posted on Facebook by a friend of mine from back in my college days. I’ve lived on the east coast since 1981, but recently became reacquainted with friends from back then, after I joined Facebook. I wanted to write to this blog so that I could share what I just wrote in response to my friend’s post. But, before I do so, let me offer these additional comments.
My heart just grieves for the victims of these heinous crimes — crimes which could have been avoided had the proper steps been taken in the first place. I sincerely pray that the present leadership of ABWE will do the right thing by these victims and do everything possible to ensure that Dr. Ketcham never be allowed access to another victim. The very least that should have done — and still should do — is to report the abuse to medical licensing authorities in the State of Michigan (my home state) and put it on record…and NOW. It is just unfathomable tome that this man still has a valid medical license, with an unblemished record for that license, and that he is still practicing medicine — FAMILY medicine…that means including treating CHILDREN! OMG!
Further, I believe that ABWE could still go much farther. The seriously need to leave no rock unturned, and trudge full steam ahead toward relentlessly pursuing each and every legal avenues available to revoke Dr. Ketcham’s retirement pay from the mission. Of course, better yet would be that Dr. Ketcham would “man-up” and step forward to do the right thing himself, by refusing any further payments from ABWE and by turning himself in to the medical and legal authorities, but I think a person of his ilk isn’t likely to do that. Why? Well, call me a skeptic, but I don’t think pedophiles can ever be “rehabilitated.”
I surely hope ABWE still will pursue a way not to pay Dr. Ketcham any retirement, or at the very least that there would be a way they could arrange to pay any retirement money due him into a trust for which his wife (who also served on the mission field) is the sole beneficiary. From what I’ve read (and admittedly I don’t know what legal recourse ABWE has pursued to this point), I urge ABWE still to relentlessly seek to find a legal loophole available to them by which they can circumvent any requirement that they continue to pay Dr. Ketcham himself. Maybe if all the churches who supported him during his tenure with ABWE threatened to take action to remove their support from ABWE — across the board — that would serve as motivation enough for ABWE to pursue this matter ever further.
But, now on to my sharing of what I wrote in response to my friend’s Facebook posting. I hope it helps to show my empathy for and solidarity with the victims and their families. Here’s what I wrote:
“Wow! This is really SICK — and I’m referring to both the Dr’s reprehensible acts AND the equally reprehensible failure on the part of the leadership of ABWE at that time to take proper action and report this. I mean, think about it — co.uld there be even more victims in Bangladesh or here in the U.S. that haven’t ever been discovered? It just infuriates and sickens me to no end that this wretched man was allowed to continue to practice medicine — for YEARS afterward, and with a “clean” medical license — and all due to the cover-up by ABWE leaders at that time (most, if not all, I presume are now long-since deceased). I know I’ve written a lot already, but really I feel left quite speechless about this matter, because I simply can’t write what I’d really like to say about it. But, suffice it to say that I think Dr. Ketcham should rot in jail in Bangladesh for the rest of his natural life!”
Phil Walsh-
I am a brown skinned girl like the ones you speak of. I was not protected from at age 2-11. No one knows, I could not tell.
In Jesus name i have forgiven my offenders. Why is there is there so much hate here? Is it hard for people to forgive this man? What will happnen?
Dear Brown Skinned Girl,
I’m happy that you have forgiven the ones who offended you. The same Jesus, in whose name you forgave, confronted evil men with very harsh comments. Did He hate them? Not at all. He confronted them because He loved them. What you see as “hate” on this blog is actually a beautiful, God-given desire in His children to confront sin in order to bring evildoers into a right relationship with God. To not confront them would be to hate them. And part of the justice we seek is in order to keep evildoers from perpetrating the same crimes on others. That is loving others. So while you think you did the loving thing by staying silent, perhaps you are inadvertently allowing other girls to undergo the same abuse you suffered. That, you see, is not a loving thing to do.
Well said, brother. Brown-skinned girl…find someone you can trust to be strong and courageous: tell them your story and ask them for help to do what is right. God loves you and never meant for you to be treated the way you were. Phil is right…God wants evil confronted! Don’t be afraid…there is an army of men and women out there willing to stand by your side. You will be amazed what healing will come into your life just because you opened up. Be brave, sister, be brave! We love you!
Dear precious brown-skinned Sister,
The seven short sentences you posted have been on my mind for the last week.
When you say “No one knows, I could not tell,” I assume that is because the one who abused you is powerful. Maybe he is physically large and could hurt your body or destroy your property if you told. Maybe he has a powerful position or powerful friends and could cause your family members to lose their jobs. I assume you could not tell because of fear of further loss.
It is good if you have forgiven your offenders in Jesus’ name. We as Christians know that the only true satisfaction for the enormity of our sins is the death of Jesus on the Cross. Every kind of sin will be forgiven on that basis. However, do not confuse forgiveness with accepting bad treatment because you have a lower station in life and cannot expect better treatment. You are just as worthy of your own personal dignity as the white-skinned sisters spoken of here on this blog. The crime against you was just as foul as the crime against them. This is where the Gospel radically transforms cultures.
In Matthew 18:5 says we are to welcome a little child in His name. This means that the least among us is a child of the King and to be welcomed as royalty. This is the opposite of the world. The world honors the powerful, not the weak. We call this trading favors. In America the saying goes, “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.” In Matthew 20:26 Jesus said, “Not so with you.” We must be different from the world. He said in Luke 14:12 that we should invite to dinner those who cannot repay us.
In God’s eyes there are no Dalits–the untouchables in the Hindu caste system. All are equal. Every person in the family of God should have power to confront a fellow Christian, no matter how different their stations in life. The rules for this are in Matthew 18:15-20. Those who see the weak being abused have a duty to help them, according to Proverbs 24:11.
Why is there so much hate here? This is not hatred. This is righteous indignation. Just as Jesus showed intense anger when he cleansed the temple with a whip, so we show anger that the Temple of the Holy Spirit, the bodies of young girls, was violated and abused. We rightly show that anger toward the one who did it.
Is it hard for people to forgive this man? Yes, it is. And denying what he did, covering up what he did, confusing or minimizing what he did makes it even harder.
Your final question: What will happen? Only God knows, of course, but there are a number of outcomes that most of us are hoping for, listed in various posts on this blog. In particular for you and my Bangladeshi brothers and sisters I hope that you see a good example through the missionaries. An example of honesty, and accountability, including the removal of leaders who have done wrong (I Tim. 5:19-25). I hope the Christian community in Bangladesh can reject the pattern of the world and follow the pattern Jesus taught us and never again will a brown-skinned sister have to say “No one knows, I could not tell.”
In the name of the Good Shepherd, Jesus,
Pastor Dave DeCook
Tragically illustrating how Christianity must be different from its surrounding culture is the case of Hena Akhter of Shariatpur, Bangladesh, who died and was buried at 14 years of age on January 31, 2011. Akhter, also called Hena Begum, died after receiving 70 lashes of a 101 lash sentence handed down in a fatwa by the local imam. Her crime? Being raped by her cousin, a grown and married man who had set a lustful eye on her and had taken to harrassing her.
I hesitate to ask this, but it must be answered by those serious about the spread of the truth of the Gospel and its implications in the Christian community in Bangladesh: Is the main difference between Hena and the 14 year old victim featured in this blog the color of their skin?
Can you stay silent in the face of the testimony of “the brown-skinned girl”?
[This story can still be followed on CNN and BBC
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/03/29/bangladesh.lashing.death/index.html
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-12404358%5D
Dear brown-skinned girl,
I was seriously wounded by a Christian leader. I believe I long ago forgave him. I have no animosity toward him or desire for personal vengeance. I don’t have imaginations of God wreaking vengeance. His is my brother in Christ and I continue to love him.
Even so, my wounds are still raw and painful. My desire that he is called into account for what he did to me (and to many others) has nothing to do with not forgiving. It is not hate that desires this. It is because I love him as my brother.
I will believe that he has repented when he comes to me in sorrow for how he sinned against me. His is also a serial sin that has hurt many. Although it is not sexual sin it needs to stop before even more are hurt. There is nothing I can do now, but if the time ever comes, I will speak.
Even more so for these ones who have been violated sexually. They haven’t been able to speak before now. Perhaps the pain was too intense. It takes a long time to even admit something like sexual abuse happened to you. Or perhaps they had no one to stand with them. These women (perhaps there were also boys on K’s list?) have now found others and perhaps together they will get the response that is long overdue. Perhaps through their combined voices, things will change and others will be spared because of their courage to speak.
You don’t need hate to desire justice. Justice is not revenge.
I pray that you will learn the magnitude of the sin done to you. We can only forgive when we see the offense. That is why I don’t think people can immediately forgive everything. It takes time to grasp the width and depth of the offense. It is likely that for the rest of life new things emerge. For example, fear for their children, nightmares in the night, sexual difficulties with their husbands and many many other things.
I pray that you find others who will listen to you, that you will not be alone in your pain and sorrow.
This blog has shown me very clearly what women and children face when they confront the issue of abuse. Even in the face of ABWE’s admission of guilt that they let a pedophile go back to a church and back to praciticing medicine!! Still these women are attacked, put on trial, told they are liars, that they are gossips, that they are not following biblical paths of confrontation, that they are unforgiving and malicious and that they are basically tools in the hands of Satan.
So, who’s next? Who wants to bring out the terrible thing that no one will listen to?
This blog was a last resort. Do you see where ABWE says they’ve done an investigation? Should an investigation include others who might have been victims or may have information that could be useful? ABWE admits they were approached in 1989, 2002 and 2007. I was a teen on the field and DK was my doctor. My sister’s doctor. Neither of us, nor our parents have ever been asked anything by ABWE. Ever.
Do not blindly believe everything you read. Ask questions from the people who have the answers! LISTEN to these people. Stop telling them who to call. WE ALREADY KNOW and HAVE.
I’m grateful for the number of people who ABWE might actually listen to who have voiced support to the victims. Pastors and leadership of supporting churches. People in positions of authority with young girls who are APPALLED at this. People who are grateful someone finally had the guts to not care how badly they are shredded by Christians who claim to love Jesus!!
ABWE’s admission of knowledge of a crime that happened 20 YEARS AGO is now undisputed. But it has only come out because two victims were strong enough to take all this stuff that has been thrown at them.
God has always believed these girls. He saw what happened to them. He is a righteous judge and has come to their rescue.
And now, it doesn’t matter anymore if you don’t believe them. Plenty of other people do. Enough to finally make a difference.
Thank you. Your post made me cry.
Susannah
In reply to Deborah Barrick Beddoe,
Thank you. Your post made me cry.
Susannah
Deborah,
Could you please provide specific details as to where any of the victims have been called liars, gossips, been put on trial, and that they a malicious tools of Satan? It helps noone involved to emotionally state something that most likely is not true. If you have evidence of those statements please present it. As to allowing the pedophile to go back to a church….ABWE has no more control over the life of Dr. Ketcham than it has over you or me. They cannot tell me where to go or what do. They cannot tell me if I can attend a church or not. If the pedophile goes to a church what do you want ABWE to do about it? Do they need to hire an employee that does nothing but follow this man around his entire life yelling “Unclean”? Obviously, they can’t do this. Asking the impossible is also not the best way to help the victims. Regarding asking for an investigation. He admittted it, he was fired…why would ABWE investigate?…there is no investigation needed. It is obvious to all parties involved and noone is disputing anything that I can see. Do you have evidence that something else needs to be investigated? Besides that, ABWE is a mission sending agency.. they are not detectives nor do they have a detective on staff. I think they believe the victims and feel extremely horrible about what happened… why beat the dead horse of an investigation that doesn’t need to be done? Regarding legal action… I still don’t understand why the victims aren’t pursuing legal action. Any power at all to prosecute any crime at all would would have to be initiated by the victims. If the victims have substantial evidence and their families want justice I don’t understand why they don’t just go to the police. I think this blog is turning into a lot of emotional gossip and slamming of what I believe to be a very good mission board (Obviously…NOT PERFECT, and obviously with a major problem they need to take care of due to some very bad decision making.) But, can’t the families pursue legal action against the man? I am also foggy about the demands. Are there any? What are they? Do you want someone fired? Who? Do you want monetary damages? Please just make some simple demands of ABWE…. make them specific and let’s see what they do. Assault of character through a website where anyone can say anything without any proof whatsoever is actually, I believe, more insulting to the victims themselves. It just makes their case look weak. Regardless of what many people think, I believe that ABWE is sickened by the whole thing…that they would love to go back and fix it all…that they are Godly people who made some bad decisions along the way (ie: having a young girl write a confession), and that they want to make it right. Let’s not get crazy and so over-emotionized that we start saying things that simply just aren’t true. Doing that will not help anyone nor will it put anyone on the path to reconciliation. Personally, I am sad for the victims and I hope they get the justice they deserve. I stand behind them and for them. I am also sad for ABWE because they will need to take drastic measures to make this right. A good start might be the immediate firing of Ebersole who made a horrible decision to make the girl confess when she had nothing to confess for except that she was taken advantage of by a sick man. I stand with ABWE as well because I know they love God and want to make this right and they are impacting the world in a great way. Let’s make it right all the way around and move on.
I’m truly sorry if I offended you with the way I write. Please see the comments left by Marie, Saddened and Frustrated, Fact Seeker, Anonymous on 3/20, Carepear, The Other side and Tracy McLarson. There is also another part of the blog under Susie’s Story where there are more comments that attacked Susie and “Thankful”. These are the comments to which I was referring. (Believe me, for victims, these comments are excruciating.)
But I definitely did not mean to offend people who have believed these things that are being shared by the victims and their families. I probably should have posted this note on the other part of the blog or in direct response to Tracy McLarson where it would have made more sense to you in context. But I wasn’t trying to attack any one person’s comments, just summarize.
I’m sorry if my expressions of grief and heartbreak seem crazy to you. For some of us, this has been a long time coming and it is very emotional. But I’m curious, with so many others expressing the same feelings, why are you asking me in particular? (Was was just the use of double exclamation points and all caps?)
I cannot answer your questions about demands. But as for me, it isn’t about demands but about reforming a “culture of silence” (as it has been referred to by another writer here in the blog) that valued the reputation of a man and a mission over justice for children. And that is exactly what many of us feel.
I really don’t think I said anything that was false. But it seems like your statement about “saying things that simply just aren’t true” indicates that I did that. Is there something specific I said that was untrue? I would actually, genuinely like to know because there is no need for me to do that.
thank you
Deb
While Doc can go to church, it is ABWE’s responsibility to tell sending church that he is a pedophile and not purposely mislead them into thinking it was just an affair….and THEN cast dispersions on this church by insisting otherwise.
Also you ask why the the victims don’t prosecute. Read the blog. They can’t.
OnYourSideButLet’sNotGoCrazy:
Your post is puzzling to me for a lot of reasons. I’m curious as to why you are asking Deb the questions you are asking her, because most do not pertain to her or her post. Why would you go after one specific person when there are dozens on here saying basically the same things?
Also most of your statements or complaints (if you will) could easily be refuted by a careful reading of this blog (i.e., your questions about why an investigation is necessary).
You asked her to point out the people who had called the victims liars and gossips, etc., and she very graciously did. Now I am asking you respectfully to point out the statements you refer to when you say that she is saying things that aren’t true. What was said in her post that was not true?
As for emotions … if the sexual assault of young girls and subsequent cover up by an organization that was trusted to handle things in a godly way does not make you emotional, what does?
“onyoursidebutletsnotgetcrazy,” you did have a couple of the same observations and thoughts as I did, and you asked a couple of the same questions that had occurred to me- as I have been reading through the posts on this blog, following ABWE’s website, and talking to some of the individuals involved. You had some valid points there. Let me say this with the spirit of caring that I am feeling for my fellow MKs and fellow missionaries: Regardless of how emotionally charged an issue is, and regardless of how emotionally involved we are personally, (and believe me, I am personally being impacted on so many levels), if we want to make our case the strongest one possible, it is imperative that we use objective arguments, arguments that are free of logical fallacies, arguments that can be substantiated, arguments that are made from a Biblical perspective, and arguments that are clear as to what their ultimate intended purpose is. I’m praying that we will all seek to know how God would have us respond in such a way that would glorify Him and would love and serve others.
MK for Life
Very well said, Deb. To the one who questioned your remarks wanting specifics….I suggest they read all the posts from start to finish. The remarks will be found….I read them as well.
To Deb – I’m not sure this response WAS to just you. There are so many posts here and difficulty putting things right where you want them. I know I am confused! There needs to be a way to break this down into different threads.
You suggested he do a careful reading. Yikes! There are so many posts, I’ve spent hours reading them today and that is after spending hours less than 2 days ago!
I don’t know, but things might be meant as support that feel like bashing, or at the least, not meant as bashing. Like I said, I’m confused. I’m probably not the only one.
To Onyourside – Yes, I said that above about possible misinterpretation of words. However, I too have seen the attacks on their characters. My memory isn’t good enough to remember if “gossips, tools of Satan, etc.” are the exact words used. I know those things were at least implied by what was said.
Also to Onyourside, One thing I expect and think is good is the emotions. Of course they are running high! Expecting perfectly logical arguments of proof is not only unrealistic, it limits the ability for a person to just talk, to truly feel and try to express the magnitude. These are verbal tears that you are reading. They are verbal sobs of pain finally being shared with comrades in pain. Considering that, they’ve been fairly restrained.
@ Bill Barrick, I am so very proud of your kids, and wife. They are doing an amazing job of standing up on behalf of the abused. And thank you also for your strong statement for justice. And whoever mentioned the mission “shushing” its missionaries hit the nail on the head. That is modus operandi in more situations than this one. Thank you Phil for your heartbreaking revelation of your attempts to “get then to hear” you. We understand that struggle, although on a different level. Praying for all involved in this battle for truth and justice.
I am a victim– not of dr ketchum, but of the death of our daughter and grand daughter at the hands of a drug addict. I get so tired of people asking me how the killer is doing! The only recourse we have in this life is to battle crime and criminals in the criminal justice system. We cannot go after people by ourselves. The woman who says she is a therapist/counselor should focus on the victims, not the mental health of the predator. he is a grown man with a horrible sin problem; these victims were children. Focus on them, prosecute ketchum and trust God to put lives back together, but don’t belittle the pain in the name of goodness on your part…tolerance… toward this poor struggling pedophile. He needs his comeuppance–prison where he can really put his Christianity into practice.
I grew up in a local baptist church which was and probably still is a strong supporter of ABWE. ketcham was a very familiar name and the “dr.” was looked at with the utmost sense of respect and honor. As I read the blog which I stumbled upon accidentally, I am filled with disgust and not a little bit of anger. I spent the greater part of my life being indoctrinated with what it means to be a christian, went to a christian school, sat under some of the “godliest” men, etc… etc… I was a very involved and dedicated member. Yet, I left the church as I saw the hypocrisy of it all. Like any big corporation, it’s all about image covered in a cloak of “godliness”. That’s my opinion, my perspective and I’ve seen very little to change my view. This revelation only strengthens it. So what’s my point?
1st of all, my heart goes out to all the victims that were abused and betrayed by this monster. To do what he did to children under his care reaches a depth of depravity that goes deeper than most of us can know. There is no justice short of his death that is suitable enough.
2nd, if you think this is an isolated incident, you’re sadly mistaken. For all of you who blindly put in your trust in your church or any organization to do the right thing, you do so at your peril. The fact that abwe deliberately buried the real details of what happened and made the victim write a confession letter???? How insane is that? But you know what? It’s typical of how things are handled by those “godly” men in authority. Goes right back to image.
3rd, the damage caused by what has happened is more far reaching than anyone can know. This should shake the “christian” church to it’s core. Baptists in particular are so pious and sanctimonious about how enlightened and knowledgeable in the truth they are as opposed to any other denomination. It’s just unthinkable that anything so horrible could be going on in their little world. Time to wake up people. You’re no better or more immune to this crap than anyone else. I recall the information given about his “affair” and there was absolutely nothing that would indicate how much more there was to it. To call this an affair is a outright lie and undermines everything abwe claimed it stood for.
I sincerely hope that the victims can find some sense of peace and move on with their lives. Don’t expect any justice for what has happened. Obviously to this point, there hasn’t been any. Whatever abwe could have done, it’s too little, too late now. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to fix what has happened. You can’t. Get counseling, learn how to deal with the aftermath and move on. abwe will only say and reveal what they absolutely have to in order to do damage control. Otherwise it’s business as usual.
To any who still don’t fully realize the depth of this monster’s atrocities, it’s estimated that on average a pedophile will abuse 69 children before he is ever caught. He was caught and then turned loose on an unknowing general public for the last 20 years. How godly are those abwe leaders looking now?
Thank you for your post! Your sentiment closely echoes mine. Very well said!
To the brave and beloved MKs of BD –
For so many years I have watched the agony of your families as they have tried so hard to work through this situation in a godly manner. It has been heart-breaking to see and experience the lack of true justice on your behalf. It is so sad that this medium is what you had to resort to in order to obtain that justice for your loved ones and yourselves.
I want to applaud you for your bravery and compliment you on your “tone” as you have expressed yourselves in a firm but kind manner – whether telling your own stories or responding to the postings of others. I feel that God must be pleased with how you have handled yourselves.
Whether a direct victim or a victim of the fallout, you need to know (and I hope you do!) that you are loved and supported by so many.
I have been, and will continue to be, much in prayer for all of you, your families, the home office, and also the Ketcham family. I’m sure they are currently going through some heart-wrenching times as this is finally being dealt with. In a way, they too can be considered “victims” in all of this.
However this all plays out, my main prayer is for God to somehow receive glory and for his kingdom to be advanced.
Love you all
On my way home from a meeting this morning, I was re-thinking my post and decided to reword one part. Words are so powerful aren’t they? Just don’t want any misunderstanding. Instead of using the word “they (4th paragraph, last sentance), I should have said “some of them”. Thanks
I agree with Saddened and Frustrated. This blog would be a safe place if it was a private blog (only readable by those involved). Gossip can be truth. Being part of a large family that has experienced multiple sexual abuse situations from outsiders and a wife that has been involved in multiple affairs, I feel for all the victims. They must feel their pain, they must grieve, they should feel anger, but this is not how it should be done. The “truth” should not be made known to the whole world. That is vengeance, trading pain for pain. I’ve wanted to post billboards near homes of the men who touched my wife, would that be justice? No. Have they repented directly and asked for my forgiveness? No. But I must forgive. The bitterness will eat me alive. How do we say we prayed about something and then go in a direction contrary to God’s Word?
Okay, Anonymous … so you say “The ‘truth’ should not be made known to the whole world. That is vengeance, trading pain for pain.” Ummm … I’m sorry, did you completely miss the fact that we are talking about a sexual predator who molests young girls? You must have, or I cannot imagine that you would have us keep this truth quiet, thereby allowing this pedophile (say the words with me, Anonymous) to be free and unaccountable to be trusted with other young girls and to touch them as well. THAT’s what you want? You believe that’s more godly? Let other girls get molested, as long as the “whole world” doesn’t have to hear about how a few Christians really screwed up some lives. People like you make me want to GIVE UP on people like you. Contrary to God’s Word? Is trying to protect other children contrary to God’s Word? Is pushing for justice (and it DID take this blog to get ANY form of it) contrary to God’s Word? And please don’t give us that sorry line about Donn Ketcham (let’s also use his name) being too old to molest any more. The man was STILL practicing medicine part time. He was still a doctor! How is that “feeble and pathetic” as one MK tried to call him, telling us we were wrong in bringing his name to the public.
Anonymous, we must serve different Gods, because my God is not happy with the covering of sin and He is not pleased by those who value reputation and a blind clinging to holy ordinances over the care of lives, especially children. Do you remember that He healed on the Sabbath? Do you remember what kind of flack Jesus got for doing so? So a few posts have maybe gone too far. So a few users have needed to ask forgiveness. It does not corrupt the end result which is the protection of children and justice for wounded children, now adults. I live my faith transparently before the world. I’m sorry you do not believe that lives should be lived in this way and that non-believers actually respect us MORE when we live this way. They would RATHER see the church involved in getting justice and protection for abused children. That is a church they can get on board with. Not one that would have us sweep things under the rug to make them think we have it all together until our lies unravel at the seams and it is made clear for all to see that WE DO NOT.
Also, you stated 30 minutes prior to writing what you wrote above that: “We live in a fallen world and are all hiding secret sins. Could you imagine the revival that would take place if we didn’t feel like we had to pretend we have it all together?” Can you not see your own hypocrisy? By wishing for us to protect Donn Ketcham, by wishing for us to protect ABWE, you are perpetuating the very mindset that you claimed 30 minutes previous you don’t have. Donn Ketcham is a pedophile. ABWE has screwed up. They have both been pretending to have it all together for 20 plus years, including LYING, what’s more ABWE’s leadership did these things despite being confronted with the right things to do. We are unearthing the secrets and God is moving. I’m sorry you can’t see it that way.
And I’m so curious about what caused you to change your tune about what godliness is within 30 minutes. So I do hope you will come back and explain yourself.
— Tamara
Friends –
I want to encourage you that there is NO DOUBT in my mind that God is in this. There has been more healing taking place in the last week than there has been in 20+ years. I cannot share details, but know that God is working. We may not see any results like we had hoped just yet, but He is not through. What He has done already has helped my heart tremendously and I KNOW it would yours. God be praised!
I want to correct my above post. We HAVE had seen some of the results that we wanted. When rereading my post after it posted, I realized that I chose my words poorly because we have indeed seen some of the results we hoped for…
1. We have seen mk’s come together in brotherly/sisterly love and defense of one another….something most of haven’t experienced for over 20 years.
2. We have had other mk victims share their stories, too.
3. We have been pleasantly and overwhelmingly surprised by the support of our truly beloved “aunts and uncles”.
4. Our voices have finally been heard by a larger audience than just the ABWE administration.
5. ABWE has made a very small step in the right direction and we pray it continues to move in the right direction.
6. We have been surrounded by an army of supportive pastors and churches who are making their voices heard.
Let’s focus on these things and praise God together!
And then we must pray:
1. For the victims, namely and urgently for the ones who started this blog.
2. For the ABWE administration to do the right thing. Fully and completely.
3. For Donn Ketcham to do the right thing, painful as it may be for himself and all those close to him.
4. For the missionaries around the world who are no doubt hurting from this, too.
I’ve stumbled across this blog because I’m missions minded and live and breath missions every day. I also know Dr. Ketcham and the family. I have a few questions for the victims:
1. What do you want Dr. Ketcham to do to help you all heal? (Please give details)
2. What do you want ABWE to do? (Please give details)
3. Can’t you make parts of this blog private so you can help each other heal privately? While my heart goes out to you (victims) for your pain, I’m also concerned for the innocent Ketcham family members (also victims). Unfortunately, they don’t have a choice about this exposure.
4. If you see #1 and #2 completed to your satisfaction, what will you do then?
Please do not take this as antagonistic. I’m just trying to figure out the purpose of this blog.
I am not the creator of this blog, however, I am a Bangladesh MK, and I know what I PERSONALLY feel about your question number three, so here it is.
Let’s talk about Phillip Garrido. Surely you know who he is. If a blog was started by his victims, would you honestly go to them and ask them to make it private for the sake of his family? Seriously? You’d have the gall to do that?
Check yourself, whoever you are, because you are giving compassion to the wrong family. If this blog is painful, they can blame their father, and if they don’t like reading it, they can stop.
From the Outside. I believe if you thoroughly read each and every post from the beginning and follow it closely, your questions will be answered. This shouldn’t be a quiz nor should it sound like a job interview, and I accept your comment that you don’t want to sound antagonistic….but it does. They want to be heard. They want to be validated. They want an apology. They want justice done to the extent it can be done. They want repentance shown by Dr K for his own benefit. They want ABWE to confess and be genuinely remorseful for what happened to them and to state it unabashedly and without reservation. They want to heal and get on with their lives which will be greatly facilitated if the above things happen. As for the innocent members of his family I can only say that they can’t be held responsible and as was already stated, they may choose not to read this. It is what it is.
To: From the Outside: “stumbled across this blog”? You must have fallen off your chair when you read the name, Dr Ketcham!
Perhaps:
1. Give up his license to practice medicine because he is a pedophile. Serve jail time because pedophiles belong in jail but they are separated from general population because they usually end up murdered. Even hard core criminals know and understand the ugliness of grown men on little girls. (Details)
2. Prove beyond a shadow of doubt that a plan is in place and in action with responsible people to protect child from being molested. To form a strong board of people who possess true biblical understanding and 21 century practices of protection. Pay for all damages that have resulted in the criminal cover-up.
3. NO (There will be no more silence. Passive-aggressive won’t work anymore.)
4. Take what is left of a broken life and finally rest or in some cases finally get out of bed and live!
*the word pedophile and molester are polite titles*
FOR ONE MOMENT AND ONLY ONE, because it can get quite ugly, PICTURE WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE! Now times that by 21 Years; it’s a real-life horror show.
Antagonistic? No, passive-aggressive, the first sentence of the blog states the purpose.
Just think – if #2 doesn’t happen then you too, with your mission mind, could experience the true horror of your child being molested, by the hands of a “good” man. You might even hug him good-bye.
I take offense at your comment “Unfortunately, they don’t have a choice about this exposure.” That is a strong statement in the faces of girls who had little to no choice about exposure themselves. Girls who have had their teenage and adult lives haunted by the shameful “exposure” they were subjected to. And if they so choose to go public with their story (which they are doing)…then the exposure that is being placed on anyone has got to be most painful of all for them, the victims. The Light that shines on sin is the only thing that is beautiful about this. Jesus Christ is that Light. He hates sin and He wants it exposed.
Regarding #3 – posting privately –
There is another reason that might be a good idea to set something like that up. There are probably people that don’t want to post publicly even under a pseudonym but need to talk. Perhaps someone knows an individual and feels safe talking to them, but not putting things out here where there are both wolves and sheep. Or something an individual said is something that is better addressed in an individual discussion.
To my hurting sisters in Christ, and the entire family of ABWE Bangladesh, past and present:
I serve the Lord in Chittagong, Bangladesh. I am not here to say anything official. But I can say that those of us on the field in Chittagong weep as we pray for every member of our extended family who is hurting today. I don’t want to share my opinions, or my feelings. I just want to pray with all of you.
Dear Heavenly Father, the family of ABWE Bangladesh is hurting. We are torn apart by the effects of sin. We are wounded. What happened to our sisters has broken our hearts. We are weeping for them.
God, you have promised that you will turn our weeping into joy, our mourning into dancing. You have said that you will bring beauty from ashes. You will restore the years that the locust has eaten. You are a God of restoration and resurrection. And you do immeasurably more than we can ask, hope or even imagine. God, we need you to do all those things right now.
Father, please pour your healing grace on the victims. May their roots go down deep into the soil of your marvelous love. My they know the depth and height and breadth of that love, and may it be their strength. We ask for truth and justice for them. May they know that they are loved by your people. May they eventually be able to forgive, not to free the abuser, but to find freedom for themselves. And may they find peace and wholeness.
Father, show your love and compassion to their families and friends. Comfort them in the pain of watching loved ones struggle. Help them continue to be a source of strength for the survivors. Thank you for using them to comfort and support.
Lord, guide and direct the leaders of ABWE, churches and families involved. Help them to bravely choose to expose truth, confess sin and seek restoration and restitution.
Lord, our adversary is at work. He would destroy your servants’ lives, tear your community apart, and destroy everything your people have done here in Bangladesh. Yet all of us have sacrificed our lives so that this place would know about your great love. Our enemy will sow discord, strife and anger. He will cause miscommunication. He loves hidden things. We stand firm, praying against his work. God, do not allow him to have a single victory in this battle.
Lord, the world is watching us. Help us to show that your people are not perfect, but that your Spirit among us can do amazing things. Pour out your Spirit so that we will see healing, forgiveness and restoration. Help us comfort each other with the comfort we have received. May this family be brought to unity and wholeness. May you be glorified in each of us. Amen.
I am praying without ceasing for your healing.
Aunt Nan W.
Nan, much of your prayer is good and right, and so I trust that your heart is in the right place. However, I must tell you that the following words you chose to use on this blog heap guilt on parties who have already felt enough pain:
You said: “Lord, our adversary is at work. He would destroy your servants’ lives, tear your community apart, and destroy everything your people have done here in Bangladesh. Yet all of us have sacrificed our lives so that this place would know about your great love. Our enemy will sow discord, strife and anger. He will cause miscommunication. He loves hidden things. We stand firm, praying against his work. God, do not allow him to have a single victory in this battle.”
What you said in that paragraph should not have been said here. These girls, these victims have been silent for decades for love of Bangladesh missionaries, Bengalis themselves, and for a desire to have this be a private matter that does not hurt the spread of the gospel or the ministry of their own parents in Bangladesh.
What this blog has done is to bring sin and lies out of darkness and into the light, and ask for God’s hand of justice to come into our midst and restore integrity to the ABWE organization.
And you imply here (disguised in prayer and spiritual lingo/Christianese) that these girls seeking truth and justice are hurting the work of God-fearing missionaries in Bangladesh.
Perhaps unintentionally, you have heaped guilt on those who should feel no guilt. These girls tried to get reconciliation and justice privately. Any and all feelings of frustration that this matter is hurting missions work should be directed at ABWE, namely their president Michael Loftis who has had many years to keep this public airing of dirty laundry from happening but chose repeatedly to hide behind a lawyer, lies, spiritual lingo like yours, and spiritual abuse that says: if you speak up about this, you’ll hurt the mission.
Nan, if you care for these hurting girls as you say you do, you owe them an apology for unintentionally adding to their pain. They’ve suffered enough, don’t you think?
My sincerest apology to anyone who read those words and felt they were a condemnation of the victims for speaking out. That was truly not my intention. I agree with those who applaud the courageous way you have brought things to light. If anything, my comments about the enemy were a result of seeing how much anger some people have had in reaction to your honesty. Criticizing the victims was the very farthest thing from my mind. I only wanted to communicate that those of us on the field are praying for you as well.
I said I wouldn’t post again, but I had to reply to Aunt Nan W. The strongest, most vivid touchstone for my continued faith in God despite all the world’s (and Satan’s) attempts to deny him through science is my personal experience observing my parents and the other assembled missionaries in Chittagong gathered to pray “specifically” and witnessing miracles. I personally have a very real sense of the power of your post’s truth and I thank you.
To ‘From the Outsider’.
I appreciate your genuine Q’s. Mine is not an answers to them rather a few observations from the Bible concerning your Q 3. The perpretator and his family:
1. When God exposed the Sins of His Children in the Bible did he do it privately? I leave it for you to answer
2. While we continue to pray for DK and his family we can rejoice in Christ that finally they also (the family members) have an opportunity like never before to help him do what God has been waiting patiently for him to do for past 20+ (?) years?
3. ‘Guilt’ is the heaviest thing to carry around. If DK says he has no feeling of guilt anymore (confession letter) I won’t be too off the mark if I had major question about his relation with Jesus Christ at the first place: ‘By their fruits you will know them’.
To our dear Bangladesh MK family:
Deb and I want to let you know how proud we are of you. We believe in you, hurt for you and stand with you in your quest for the truth. It is our sincere prayer and fervent hope that you will find the answers you need so that the healing process can begin. Though we can’t be physically present with you, please know that you are never far from our thoughts these days. Though we have been surprised by some information we have learned from this blog, we do believe that the leadership at ABWE has a huge heart for you and a strong desire to be a part of the healing process.
On a personal note – many of you know that our extended family has been seriously impacted by these things (as already mentioned in other posts) which has caused stress and strain in many ways. We are so grateful to report that our healing as a family has taken a great leap forward in large part due to your courage to share your stories here. Our prayer is that this may become a reality for many others of you as well.
As saddened as we are for all that has taken place, we are filled with hope that our great God will win the day and that openness, forgiveness and grace will be extended liberally to all of us who stand in need.
George and Deb –
You have NO IDEA how good it is to hear from you….we have missed you terribly over the years. I rejoice with tears how God is working in your personal family’s lives. God does bring beauty from ashes. I chose to believe yesterday that you were sincere, but your post proves it. Please know that we hope the administration does have a heart for us, but it will take a lot of action on their part to prove their sincerity. It has been an extremely hurtful process that has taken its toll over the years. Just as the healing in your own family will not be instantaneously fixed…it takes time for trust to be rebuilt…the healing we CAN have with ABWE administration will take time, for trust has been violated repeatedly. We hope and pray the Holy Spirit is actively urging them to do the right thing and soon. And also know that just as the belief you had in ABWE to handle the difficulties in your family’s story was revealed to be insufficient…know that the same thing has happened to my own family. Many will have new understanding into the depth of our pain once the truth comes out and they will ache that they didn’t know sooner.
I love you dearly….you are old and precious friends and it has meant the world to hear your voice – BY NAME – today! Can’t wait to hug you both in person.
Diana
George and Deb, thank you for standing with us and adding your names among those who will be counted as Bangladesh missionaries and MKs who stood up for truth and justice, with a heart of compassion for those who have been wounded by the sins of others. George, I truly pray that your influence at ABWE will bring about the start of reconciliation and a restoring of the organization’s integrity.
Thanks to the brave ones who lived on the mission field with these girls giving your support. You have known both Ketcham and the girls. You know more details than any of us know or need to know. One of the first steps for restoration is for these girls/women to be believed.
If something happens in a church with a child being abused, wouldn’t they send out a letter contacting anyone who might have been exposed to that person. So shouldn’t that same thing occur for children who were exposed on a mission field?
To George and Deb,
Thank you for your comment. We are encouraged to see another family standing with us in all of this. I hurt for your family and many others. I have laid awake many nights lately wondering how certain families are and how they are taking all of this. I am so sorry that in order for healing to have had to start that this blog had to be set in place. How many years have been wasted b/c of one man’s sin and b/c an organization failed to take a stand and do what was right in the very beginning. That breaks my heart. I know that the day is coming when ‘open forgiveness and grace WILL be extended to all who stand in need’. And when that day comes and we (our family, your family, the victims and all who have been hurt) are ask to forgive (DK and ABWE) I know that I will be ready. I for one have to say that before this blog I would not have been able to forgive or maybe even be forgiven myself if need be. A lot has been revealed here on this blog and many eyes have been open to the truth. My heart goes out to the missionaries that are with ABWE that had no idea that this had/has been going on for 20+ years. What are they feeling and thinking now. I understand how hard it is to trust people sometimes. And here is another area that I see trust has been broken. I guess if ABWE has a huge heart for us (MK’s) like you say they do then 1.) this would never had happened, 2) then its time they show us their heart. It is going to take a lot from them now to show us we really meant/mean anything to them and that our siblings, the victims, mean anything to them at all. Try explaining all that to those who have bee hurt! I am not attacking you two. I know you are hurting and I also know that you understand what I am trying to say. We love you both very much and thank you for standing with us. Praying that full healing comes to your family!
Anne
It was so good to hear from Debbie and George. We know your family has gone through so much and are thankful to hear about the healing taking place with your family members and also with so many other victims families. God will be glorified!
Everybody has been focusing on ABWE and their lack of response and misrepresentation over these 21 years.(which they should be) but I find it very ironic that noone has mentioned the fact that he is on the board of another mission agency called CDM(Closed Door Ministries). This mission is mostly run by their family members who know his back ground very well. The worst part is that he has always put women at risk and one of their main outreaches is helping women at risk. It seems to me that someone should be checking into this.
Our prayer continues to go out to the victims and their families for healing.
Good point and one that is not new to us. We find it a problem, too.
As I read this blog, my heart goes out to the victims…..My family is praying for you……
The only question I have is, how do we know that the DK is on the board of Closed Door Ministries? I checked their 990’s that was filed in 2010 and these were the names of the board members:
Phillip McDonald-President
Kenneth Floyd-Trustee
George Coon-Trustee
Mike Shane-Trustee
Michael Goad-Trustee
It has been reported that he is not on the board at Closed Door Ministries. I don’t know if he ever was in the past or not.
Susannah Beals Baker
Joel, can you get the names of the ABWE Board Members? Will you post them for us?
I am appalled to discover that the names of ABWE board members are so difficult to find. Yet another indication of the culture of secrecy. I did however find a website that lists “related people.” They may or may not be board members, but it is a place to start.
http://www.corporationwiki.com/Pennsylvania/Lewisberry/michael-g-loftis-P2780236.aspx
My thoughts and prayers are with you. May God bless you for your courage and grant you peace.
I tried to check their 990’s for board information through the website guidestar.org, (that’s where I got the info on Closed Door Ministries) but realized that for some reason, ABWE does not have to file a 990 with the IRS. http://www.abwe.org/give/faqs-about-giving/
I am trying to figure out why because the organization in which I am the executive director, Urban Transformation Ministries, is required to disclose all our (financial, board, and activities) info to the IRS through our 990’s every year.
ABWE may not have to file 990s with the IRS, but to maintain their tax exempt status with the United States government and the state where they do business, they MUST have their board of directors listed SOMEWHERE, like on incorporation papers, or something. If someone has the time/ability do this, check their corporate documents and/or non-profit incorporation papers. Those probably would be on file in Pennsylvania and/or New Jersey, where they were first located.
Has Donn Ketcham traveled or been on the field with CDM or War International in recent years? Has he had contact with orphans or the women at risk they work with? Going forward, it will be essential to know he is not on the mission field visiting or traveling with these ministries.
ABWE considers itself a church so no 990 while maintaining tax exemption.
My heart is so heavy as I read through this and try to digest all of this information today. I have not read all of the posts but wondered if anyone has addressed the issue of the homes he stayed in when in the U.S. on furlough? Did he speak/stay at any summer camps? My thoughts and prayers with all the victims.
Marie – How do you know DK has confessed all of his sins to God? As far as we know, he only confessed to the sins (to mission authorities) that he was caught doing. How do you know that the victims haven’t forgiven him? Are you saying that forgiving him should be the end of it – that he should be allowed to commit multiple crimes and not have to pay for them? The Bible also says that we need to obey the law (which states it’s a crime to have sex with or sexually molest children). Please help me to understand what you are trying to say with this statement! The victims of DK were young, innocent, trusting CHILDREN who were drugged and sexually assaulted (repeated) for years. If this were done to one of your children, would you just forgive that person and let it go? Are you saying that you wouldn’t report him to keep him from doing it to other children? Please clarify!
I am so glad to see others join in this fight BY NAME and I say fight, because it is a fight. It is a fight against lies, a fight against hidden sins, a fight for justice, and a fight for healing that cannot happen as long as the lies continue without a single spec of justice. It is also a fight to restore the integrity of the ABWE ministry by cleaning up a mess that has been allowed to grow and fester for decades.
Truth honors God.
Justice honors God. (And should not be sacrificed for mercy/forgiveness, but balanced WITH them.)
Protecting the “least of these” honors God.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
There have been several questions by people about why the victims have not sought legal action. As an already-cynical young lawyer, I can tell you that justice and healing and peace are not found in court. If you think that the atmosphere on the blog is hostile, you have no idea what litigation is like.
At a practical level, one problem with going to court here is that criminal prosecution is impossible because of how long ago this happened and that it happened overseas. There are also issues with a civil suit. You’re always dealing with a statute of limitations, which likely expired long ago. I haven’t done the research, so I’m not sure that a civil suit would be impossible, but the procedural barriers would be formidable.
And as one who’s walked with clients through litigation, I can tell you that it rarely brings personal healing or restored relationships. As painful and difficult as this blog is for everyone involved, at least it has the potential for both of those things. It is clear that the blog authors and other victims really do long for justice, healing, and restored relationships.
To the victims: I don’t know if you’re interested, and I don’t know what GRACE offers, but there is something called victim-offender mediation that might provide a forum for a conversation with DK, should he be willing to dialogue with you. There are also a lot of skilled mediators who work with Peacemaker Ministries and may provide services that would be useful to you. If you have questions about either, I’d be happy to give you more information.
On a personal note, though I’m not a BD MK, I am an MK whose parents served with ABWE for a time, and I can empathize with the hurt and frustration that’s been caused by the institution’s posture of self-protectionism and secrecy. I am sorry that you have suffered for so long because of it. I am personally horrified by what happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am thankful and so proud of you that you’re bringing things out into the light and I pray that your longing for justice and healing and restored community relationships will be answered.
MK Lawyer:
It’s actually NOT for you to decide what will or will not bring these victims healing.
And as for mediation with their abuser, that is a ludicrous suggestion. You would actually suggest that they sit at a table with Donn Ketcham and try to restore a relationship with him? You would suggest that they dialogue with a man who repeatedly drugged and molested them? Perhaps you mean well, but your suggestions are outrageous. Would you suggest to Elizabeth Smart that she sit at a table with the man who kidnapped and raped her and try to restore a relationship “should he be willing to dialogue” with her? What kind of person suggests such things to the victims of sexual assault? Do you have any idea of the mental, emotional, manipulative hold that abusers tend to have on those they have repeatedly abused? And yet you would suggest that they even be in the same room with him?
You admit you haven’t done the research on civil litigation for this sort of thing. Then please, do the victims and those who love them a favor and do not come on here offering your opinion “as a lawyer” when (by your own admission) you do not know about this specific area of the law and have not researched it.
So sorry to have offended anyone by my post. Truly my heart was simply to defend the choice to create this blog because of how difficult and how unsatisfying I believe litigation ultimately is. And I also wanted to explain to those who are not familiar with the law why litigation may not even be likely to succeed in this situation. I didn’t think the victims should have to defend their choice to detractors.
But while I have never seen litigation lead to any type of healing, I have the sense that the community forming here has the potential to create room for that.
And you are absolutely right that it’s not my place to say what people should do – I would never want to give advice without all the facts. That was not my intention in posting. I did desire to mention possible resources, however. I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, and where perpetrators are truly repentant and can meaningfully apologize, mediation can be very healing for victims.
Though many on this blog continue to accuse Dr. K of drugging and molesting them, only one girl/woman on here has any clear recollection of this happening to her. No one (with one exception) has said they remember even his face. They have hazy memories and dreams/nightmares. I feel deeply sorrowful for those who suffer. However, if you have no proof or even memory of Dr. K molesting you, don’t post as if you do. If you had a sense of something being wrong at some point, but have no evidence to support your feelings, don’t act as if something did happen. Don’t tell people Donn continued/continues to molest when you have no evidence or proof.
I have a daughter who is approximately the age of the victim who has proven on this blog that Donn molested her. I understand the deep and righteous anger the parents and family must feel for this violation. I think you should do all in your power to gain justice for this. But do not grieve the heart of God by fabricating falsehood/false memories for the sake of justice. God is not glorified when justice is gained falsely.
There may be hazy memories, but there are also declarations of abuse in the examining room, and documentation on the charts. Parents, children, doctors, nurses confirm that the procedures followed by DK equaled abuse. There is declaration that the treatment toward nurses, missionaries and nationals, singles and married, was not what it should be. He is not “off the hook” just because there are hazy memories, and no face in the nightmares. etc. These other declarations seem to indicate that a drug was used to distort the memories of the abused.
To truth-seeker, it sounds like you are challenging their memories as true. The report on the ABWE site says that there is credible proof of others.
It sounds like you are saying their memories aren’t good enough to count. Memories of such kinds of trauma can be hazy even without drug involvement.
Skilled investigation by a group like GRACE I believe will no doubt gather sufficient evidence to support the credibility of these memories and likely those of others who will begin to talk when they feel safe doing so.
I am not an MK but I do have some thoughts I would like to share outside of the missionary circle. I attended the sending church from the time I was born until maybe 13 years ago. I knew Dr Ketchum and his family my whole life. Even to this day he was my husbands family Dr. I was hurt and shocked to hear that all of this was going on. I feel for his family and all of those concerned that are destroyed within because of his sin. I also notice that I am the only one from his sending church that has commented on this blog or on Facebook. It kind of make me nervous to step forward and post my thoughts. I am not here to hurt or judge anyone. I just have concerns.
My first thought I had when hearing about this was the number of times he gave all of us who attended summer camp physicals in the church basement. I am not accusing him of anything I am just scared. I do not remember anything happening to me but what about all my friends who attended camp with me? It scares me.
Next, I can remember when the church held a meeting on a Wednesday night and I was helping in AWANAS I believe and many of the leaders went to that meeting. When it was all said and done the news was out that Dr. Ketchum had an affair. That is what the church was told. I know many were shocked and being that I was still quite young I know now that I did not see how the adults were handling the situation and I often wonder who really knew more?
I encourage those who have been victums of this abuse to not allow Dr Ketchum to steal both your childhood and adulthood. I am hoping now that this has come out in the open that it can help with that healing process and allow you to feel a cleansing by the airing of your feelings and memories and then the healing balm that can come from the encouragement and prayers of your fellow Christians.
I pray that the hurting of both the Ketchums and the victums can come to a head and that the purpose in all of this can come to light so that even though this is tragic, God may be glorified. When things seem out of control as they do, I can know that God IS ultimately in control. My best wishes and prayers go out to all of those who are trying to make sence of this.
Pam, thank you for writing. It scares me to think of the potential danger the beloved children of Newhall faced due to our ignorance of what really happened in BD. I want you and all the families to know that the Pastoral staff and Deacons would never have allowed that to happen had we known. We loved Donn and Kit and trusted ABWE in their disclosure and recommendations. Our own daughters and the children of board members were also put at risk.
Even tho all of you grown, we love you as if you were still those sweet little kids running around the church basement, upsetting all the old folks! We would never knowingly put you at risk.
Hi everyone,
With all due Biblical respect as a woman who was raised Baptist, forgiveness is a victim’s noble journey that frees the victim, period. Forgiveness does not let pedophiles off the hook, neither does a slap on the wrist. This is not about Ketcham’s feelings…it’s about his core beliefs. And his personal belief system (not God’s) is deeply chauvinistic and dictates that women and children are beneath him and are to be used at his discretion for social standing, for reproduction, and for sexual purposes.
Men like him are typically nice to everyone else except his victims. So those of you who aren’t his victims are shocked or in denial that someone so seemingly charming, wonderful and self sacrificing could also be such a cold, creepy, sexually exploitative man. I lovingly caution all of you who come down on his victims or accusers that these little girls were already victimized by Ketcham. Your demanding more proof than their ashamed words only further victimizes them over and over.
Forgiveness does NOT stop a systematic, calculating, cunning sexual predator such as Doc Ketcham who uses his high position in the community as a “front” to cover his ulterior motives. As a doctor, he swore to “do no harm.” But as a doctor and a man of God, Ketcham had the ultimate “pulpit” from which to prey on young girls and make no mistake, he knew exactly what he was doing. There are no “oops” when it comes to men who sexually abuse children.
A sexual predator is a bully, and bullies do not stop because their heart aches for their victims. Sexual bullies/predators only stop when we MAKE them stop by sanctions, social pressure, judicial consequences, and literally barring access to former victims and new ones. Pedophiles cry real tears (for themselves) and seem so repentant and ashamed when they are caught, mainly because they got caught. Any feelings they may have had for their victims or loved ones is stuffed down because the “perks” of molesting children far outweigh giving it up. Never forget, it’s all about the perks and not wanting to change so they pretend and wait for it all to blow over.
Unconditional love means we love ourselves first and we have the right to seek protection, distance and justice from abusers. Forgiveness is the process of grieving through what happened and healing so that one day we can be free from reliving the pain over and over. It allows us to be free and move on–but in no way should that be mistaken to mean that sexual abusers of children (regardless of how good they are at their job or memorized the Bible) should be free to move on if they continue to abuse because they are rarely rehabilitated.
At the Lincoln Lake Baptist Youth Camp some 40 years ago, we also had an “uncle.” Uncle Ray. He got a little overboard with some of the girls regarding their wardrobes, plus a few other sexually charged incidences, and one day he was removed and we never heard about him again. A few years ago I read a news article that named him as a pedophile. We and our parents should have been informed but it was swept under the rug and Uncle Ray went on to molest countless children.
For all of Ketcham’s former victims, stand up and open your arms and let the Lord’s courage flow through you because this as your time to finally have a voice. Evil men like Ketcham had their day…and now his true day of reckoning is here. You do not have to feel empathy for him. Leave that for his non-victims.
Love to all of you.
I come to this blog as a Bangladesh MK, a dear childhood friend to the initiator of this blog, and also the victim of a victim of a pedophile. I bear the scars of the destruction of a family in the fall-out of a shattered life! I’ve lived, first-hand—not theorized, or imagined—what it is to hear the nightmares and terrors, the desperate cries for help, and then lost everything in the wake of another’s surrender to self-destruction. I’ve sat and cringed as more and more details unfolded that brought shame and horror and disbelief that I had lived such a similar story…and still had not known and could not stop it! I’ve sobbed over the necessity of resigning as an ABWE missionary, myself, as the result of another’s choices.
But this is not a forum about my story. I wanted desperately to remain a silent observer…to watch, but not speak, since I was not one of the abused of Donn Ketcham. Obviously, that was no longer possible. I have wept and wept, writhed in frustration, and even cheered when an important point was especially poignantly made. But I have not been able to escape this horrible gripping sense that voices that HAD to speak had somehow been silenced…that many voices that somehow cannot speak are still being silenced. Silenced in shame and disgrace…silenced through cultural or social standing….or fear of the loss of those.
Only sorrow and pain so deep as to propel a warrior’s cry would give these girls—no, women—the courage to fight through the horror of these last years and tell their story before the world! I was there! I know the environment that allowed closed examination rooms, empty homes, and trusting servants and coworkers who wouldn’t dare to question the activities of such a dedicated doctor. I know the “aura” that was present, the flirtation and inappropriate actions that were visible to me as an 8-17 year old girl. And I will loudly defend the courageous voice of my dear friend, “Shushie!”
No one should have to beg to be heard that they were violated! We should be leaning in, hushed, poised to hear the faintest plea that another precious girl remembers losing her wonder and innocence about life!
I can’t believe that I was skipping and collecting frogs, planning picnics, and riding bikes, and thinking of dating, and giggling around the pool with girls who wanted desperately to live the carefree life I was living! I can’t believe that we secured that little compound with guards and barbed-wire fencing and thought we were keeping the dangers outside….when all along the lion was trapped in our midst! He was roaming freely…devouring, destroying, stealing innocence and childhood…forever!
But I am horrified that the possibility exists that out of carelessness, or naivety, or fear, countless other little girls and their extended families may just now be learning that the lion has roared and devoured a graveyard of victims in the past 30 years. My experience tells me I am likely not overstating the case.
My life story also pulls at my heart at the thought of the wife and remaining children of the perpetrator…those who never asked to be drawn into such a personal nightmare! Never asked to bear the name, or have to defend the actions of one they grew up believing they should honor and respect until all that was shattered! And my heart cries out to a just God who has seen everything and says, “Oh compassionate, just, holy God….do what only YOU can know is right! Don’t let me usurp Your rightful place.”
I wish there were answers. For now, there are still more questions than answers. I am linked with the memories of that place and all those precious people through wartime, monsoons, rabid dogs, and “Jungle Jingles.” We are family! And part of that family has been, and still is, through many other people that I love equally, ABWE. I do not defend the obvious mistakes, or oversights, or even negligence on their part. But I MUST say that I also cannot bash an agency that has so lovingly stood by me in my pain and some of the men who, to this day, love me like their own daughter.
I feel like I’m being ripped apart at the joints. Only a work of satan could be so master-minded as to rip a family by its limbs. Molestation is like that! It only destroys and destroys and destroys! But, I have come to an amazing discovery in my life. After the wound has been exposed….after it has been completely opened and searingly laid bare….it CAN be healed through forgiveness. I have learned that forgiveness IS possible…even when repentance is not offered. That is not my theory…and it is certainly not something I would try to force on anyone else…it is my journey. I love you, my dear, dear family!
To Susie–We haven’t seen each other for decades, but I could never forget you; I remember a quiet courage in you then, and see it in your actions and words now.
To all my hurting MK cousins and your families–Find comfort in this dialogue and in the love that so many people have for you. It is never too late or too costly to speak out in a way that can protect future generations of children from your pain.
Great to hear from you, Dan! Thank you for all your encouraging words. I will never forget you either and I hope one outcome of this blog is that a lot of the Bangladesh mk’s will get reconnected.
From Susie(Part of the great class of 3-Dan Golin , Dave Decook, and Susie Beals)
Dear “From the Outside”:
While I believe you that you are not trying to sound antagonistic, you certainly sound like you are. I will answer your questions…note that these answers are from ME only. They cannot and do not represent every victim. My response includes, but is most definitely not limited to the following:
1. Donn Ketcham must identify himself to both the victims and their families, but most importantly to the local authorities as a pedophile. He needs to acknowledge his sin and name it for what it is: a crime. He must realize his need for forgiveness from others beyond the Lord Jesus Christ. He needs it. The victims and their families need it. ABWE needs it. The world needs it.
*********************************
2. ABWE must come clean with the details of how they covered this crime up over and over again:
2a. The sending church was not notified of pedophilia. They were notified of an immoral conduct, which was still not clearly identified as an affair. ABWE is not telling the truth and we want them to own up to it.
2b. They must acknowledge that IT IS NOT ENOUGH, in a case of child sexual abuse, to just tell “when asked” – as they state on their own webpage. I am sure there are many people out there outraged at this defense. A high profile missionary who brings in much support for the home office? No way! Many, many churches should have been notified of his specific sin and I’m sure they’re even now disappointed in ABWE for not telling them. There is also testimony on this blog of an individual who says he DID ask and was not told. ABWE’s story on their website does not hold even with “one of their own”.
2c. The current ABWE administration should admit that they have tried to quietly and unethically clean up this mess before today…as recent as 2002-05.
2d. ABWE owes the state of Michigan a public apology for not shouting from the rooftops that that THIS DOCTOR IS A PROVEN AND SELF-CONFESSED PEDOPHILE. They must admit that they did not contact the proper authorities in the USA to notify them that Donn Kecham was a proven pedophile. If they did, then why then is his record squeaky clean??? I believe that if Michigan had received a phone call or letter of this nature it would show up on their files and on Donn’s record. Why? Because Michigan didn’t have anything to lose….but ABWE did. But then again, ABWE is probably still waiting for Michigan to ASK them before they tell.
2e. ABWE should also admit that their motives were impure…wanting to protect their own reputation and the reputation of one of their own “great” who also happens to be the son of a GARB “great”. They did not trust God to uphold them in their integrity. Now their integrity is in question and all the world is watching.
2f. ABWE has acknowledged that they enabled Donn Ketcham to reenter his community with the elite title of “former medical missionary”. They say so on their website. This would place responsibility on them for any children molested between the years 1989-present. That is a loooonnnnng time. ABWE should make every effort to investigate if there have been more victims.
2g. ABWE needs to acknowledge that they sent home a beloved “aunt” wearing a scarlet letter because she was courageous enough to admit that they had an affair…while reposting Donn Ketcham to the city of Chittagong and asking him to get “counseling”. WOW. Enough said. Have they contacted her and made every effort to make it right to the best of their ability? She is the only one can say how they can do that. (BTW – beloved aunt of mine…I love you and I always have. I have forgiven you and am proud of the life you have lived – as much as I know of it. I have longed to hug you and tell you that you are still special to me because you chose to do what was right, hard as it was.)
2h. ABWE needs to acknowledge that their “own investigations” were insufficient and incomplete. There are many, many mk’s who crossed paths with Donn Ketcham and we have NEVER received a letter, email, or phone calling asking for an interview. Myself included. It is high time they willingly submit to a third party investigation.
2i. ABWE needs to publicly apologize for forcing a confession from a 14 year old girl and for NOT telling our family about it. The posting of the signed confession on this blog was the first time any of us have seen or heard of it. We are deeply wounded and offended. No doubt if we had known, the story of our lives would be very different. We need to hear a public apology and admittance of wrong-doing for making our beloved sister sign that confession. I don’t know…I can’t speak for the whole family on this…but I find it nearly unforgivable.
2j. ABWE must confess both on the blog and on their site that their expression of love and concern for those of us who are courageously sharing our stories has thus far been insincere. WE have not heard from you yet. If you are truly sincere, then contact us. The media has already found our cell phone numbers…we know you could, too.
2k. I would like a better explanation of Mary Lou Brownell’s book and how you truly don’t believe that her book is allowing Donn Ketcham to represent ABWE for the next unknown number of years, until the Lord’s return (read Don Davis’ emails posted with the other documents). I would also like a better explanation for why you would attend a church that chooses to bring Donn in as a preacher. In. The. Pulpit. There is no justifiable reason! When he was scheduled to be in the pulpit that day, you already had in your possession a signed confession from the perpetrator himself AND you had already started hearing from the other victims. Indefensible.
2l. You must acknowledge that you not only left an impression of tolerating abuse (as worded in your official response) but that you DID tolerate abuse. The people of Michigan deserve at least that. We deserve that.
2m. ABWE must admit that it was insufficient to wait for a request to help with counseling and other expenses. An offer should have been extended when you did your investigation. Your investigation was most definitely insufficient and incomplete.
2n. The safe place you speak of is not safe. There is an army of MK’s who will testify with me of this. It has not been safe under either of the Kempton and Loftis administrations. You need to submit to a suitable and trustworthy third party for investigate. We have a suggestion for you….use G.R.A.C.E. They have already earned our trust.
2o. Admit that your new policies are reactionary, not preventative. The world expects your honesty.
****************************
3. I imagine the moderator could make part of this blog private but we cannot silence the voices who want to be heard publicly. It has been admitted early on in this blog by victims that the Ketcham family are also victims in this story. You are right! All of us grieve for them. But there has also been love and support expressed for them by many. I take offense at your comment “Unfortunately, they don’t have a choice about this exposure.” WOW. That is a strong statement in the faces of girls who had little to no choice about exposure themselves. Girls who have had lives haunted by the shameful “exposure” they were subjected to. And if they so choose to go public with their story (which they are doing)…then the exposure that is being placed on anyone has got to be most painful of all for them, the victims. The Light that shines on sin is the only thing that is beautiful about this. Jesus Christ is that Light. He hates sin and He wants it exposed.
I might add, AGAIN, that if things had been handled properly and all the proper people had taken responsibility to tell ALL, there would never have been this level of exposure. The longer you cover sin, the more it is added to and the worse it looks when it is finally brought into the light.
************************
5. If we see #1 & #2 completed satisfactorily…I know that I, for one, will feel a huge burden lifted. I will rejoice that Donn Ketcham has not only been granted forgiveness by those he offended, but that he is not longer able to access children. I will be comforted that there is still a righteous man or two standing at ABWE. I imagine that other victims will feel similarly. I can only speak for myself.
That, in not so short terms, is my answer.
I just want to support those of you who had the courage to create this blog and post your stories. I am not affiliated with ABWE, have never been an MK or an abuse victim . . .
However, my prayer is that ABWE does submit to a 3rd party investigation, that DK will have his medical license revoked, and that there will be support and healing for the victims. I also hope that more effort will be made to identify victims, and to make sure no current abuse is going on.
As a mom, I am horrified that DK is allowed to operate a family practice. It is so scary to think of how many more people will be and have already been hurt in unimaginable ways.
As others have already posted — but I feel it’s worth repeating — forgiveness does not negate consequences. Both DK and ABWE need to stand for their crimes of commission and ommission.
No matter what, I’m grateful we all serve a just God.
Thank you, again, for your courage.
Susanah, thank you for having the courage to speak up!
For years, I’ve wanted to offer comfort to the 14-year old girl I knew so long ago in Bangladesh, but never knew how to go about it. To that 14-year old girl: Years ago, my heart was broken when I heard the innocence of your youth had been taken from you. I hurt with you when I found out, and I hurt with you now. It was an egregious betrayal, especially from such a trusted member of our family.
To my MK sisters that were so tragically victimized in their youth, I’m praying that you remain confident in God’s justice and in His precious thoughts towards each of you – even in the midst of opening up these painful wounds again. I pray that you are abundantly filled with the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control – regardless of whether justice or reconciliation is reached in the near future. I appreciate and respect you for addressing the past wrongs, but I pray that your identity and relationship with God and others isn’t entangled or dependent on the outcome of this confrontation (much easier said than done). Each of you is much too precious to God and us!
I know my words are feeble and few, but I wanted to be one of your brothers that stood up and say that I hear you, that I believe you, that my heart is broken by what happened, that you didn’t deserve it, and that I’m praying for God’s best in your life.
Every time another MK speaks up on this blog, I feel it is becoming more and more a movement of love on behalf of these girls, and a public cry to God for justice. So to Julie, to Dan, to Rick I give you cyber hugs for coming on here by name and speaking your personal feelings in love and grace. If this comforts me, you have to know that it comforts all of the unnamed victims on this blog as well.
We were little girls splashing in the warm ocean, enjoying the hot sun on our backs as we giggled and ran after each other. Never more than one step apart, we were having the time of our lives. Without warning, a HUGE wave crashed upon us. The undertow pulled us under. I scrambled on my hands and kneees for the beach…. gasping for air. I called for my friend, I looked out over the water. I could see her being pulled into the deep dark water. I saw her raise her hands for help.
OUR FRIENDS STOOD BY AND WATCHED IN SILENCE!
I lost my best friend that day. I miss her.
Susannah, it is good to hear your voice here. Well, said, old friend. Well said.
Susannah –
You words break my heart. I have not had time to respond to your personal email because it will take time to pour my heart out to you. What you have experienced as her best friend is not an easy fix, but God CAN do it. We felt the same way about losing our sister and it has taken YEARS of hard work to keep our family close. By God’s grace we ARE close and we are drawing closer every day as we find healing in this process. Thank you for your words here and adding your name to the growing number of mk’s speaking out and validating the truth. We will help you in any way, but I would suggest that opening the door of conversation, hard as it is, is the first step that brings healing. I will message you our phone numbers.
I love you, little sister! =)
Diana
Susannah,
Thank you for your comment. Your description of what happened was well put! Yes, you lost your friend and I lost my sister. I am so sorry this happened. Not only do you feel this way but my friend at home felt the same way too. I clammed up. I held it in. I knew no one was suppose to know. Her parents sent us home that summer and paid for the whole trip! And when I got back that was it! I know your pain and my friend (who has posted on here) knows your pain. But the healing is beginning. Thank you for commenting by name and not anonymously! That shows true friendship and support. I love you.
I am an ABWE missionary with my husband and 7 children in Chile. I am so sorry to hear of all those that were hurt by the actions of this man. My husband, older children and I are praying for all of you ladies and others affected. Sin is awful and his actions against innocent children who trusted him is particularly offensive. We hurt with you and are sorry that you have had to suffer in silence for so many years. That was wrong. You are the victims. The least that should have been done is to acknowledge that and find out others that may have been hurt. I am sorry that it has taken this long for action to be taken. Know that we hurt for you and are praying for God to be glorified and each of you to experience closure, hopefully by this man finally coming clean with the whole truth, admitting how many lives he has marked for life, not that restitution is possible, but at least, truth!
Thank you. We are sorry for your hurt in this, too. You of all people understand how the ABWE family is family so we are all affected. Thank you for your voice.
I am a former member of GARB churches that read the book DAKTAR and other books about the hospital in Bangladesh. Those books were exciting and inspiring. They helped me grow as a Christian and gave me a heart for missions. It’s ironic that I was reading those books at the same time all of this was happening. Hero worship is always wrong. Our only Savior is Jesus Christ.
Not long after we left a GARB church where our family remained there was a scandal involving a pedophile. Not much was handled right in that situation either. I wonder if ABWE had handled the situation in Bangladesh correctly if other leadership in the Baptist community could have learned as well. ABWE missed an opportunity to provide leadership. However, just when I least expected it, I heard of reconciliation with the leadership of that church.
I have friends who were molested. I volunteer at a center dedicated to preventing abuse of children.
This blog is incredibly well done. It is very important. It had to be public. I hope that you accomplish all of your goals.
Ladies, don’t give up hope. God is sovereign.
Though I have said plenty on here as myself (by name, which I feel is so important for those from Bangladesh to do), I choose to do this in a more anonymous way. I wanted to share a few things … for those who understand and those who do not, because they have not lived our lives.
As MKs, we lived in what is now called a THIRD CULTURE. Not a third world–though Bangladesh was/is a third world country–but we lived in what sociologists call a third culture, in that while we lived among the people of Bangladesh as Americans, we were not fully embracing either the American or the Bengali culture at the time. We had a unique mixture of the two, called a third culture. It is the same for immigrants who come to America and live here with a blend of their own heritage and the American culture around them. Third culture. That is the word. And what did our third culture include:
–A trust and love of the adults around us that was sometimes born of a true sense of family and sometimes forced upon us–the way we had to call complete strangers (short termers who showed up for just a few weeks at a time) “uncle” or “aunt.” The terms imply a trust a need for tremendous respect that I now only ask my own children to call their real aunts and uncles or our very best friends. I am quite careful in how I throw those terms around now. I know they were used for good reasons. But they did lead sometimes to a feeling that ALL adults around us demanded from us a respect and a tie that we could not control. (And don’t give me sermons about respecting adults … I’m talking about much more than that.) So while I cherish the “aunties” and “uncles” from BDesh who were truly, truly like family to me, it is now a very painful thing to hear those names attached to those who were and are unworthy of the title.
–A deep love and respect for the home office. They allowed our parents to do what they felt God called them to do. They showed up when they were needed (most of the time, anyway), they sent the paychecks (with money from our churches), and they were our extended family.
–A lack of full commitment to the Bengali culture. In other words, to those who have read this and said to me and to others, “Why didn’t you contact the Bangladesh authorities?” I must laugh a little to myself. Because they’ve obviously never been to Bangladesh, where–if the crime was even prosecutable at the time–a generous “donation” to the judge would have set a man free. I’m not saying we shouldn’t try that now or that any precious “brown skinned girl” should not try that to seek her own justice. I’m just saying, Bangladesh is not known for it’s reliable legal system, and it’s laughable that we would have relied on it for anything.
–There was an implied sense of trust that when DK went home the home office would do what needed to be done. For those of us in the know on this matter, there was an expectation–though perhaps unspoken–that they would deal with it quietly, but justly. The news that this had not happened came slowly back then to those of us not living in Grand Rapids. It was over the course of years. First news that he was practicing medicine again … then news that he seemed to be walking around without any consequences for what he’d done, being invited to Bangladesh missionary events here in America–even where victims themselves might be present (the families were actually told, “You show up at this time, Donn and Kitty will show up at this time”). As if that is even remotely close to love.
–I personally, realizing that there was a silent condoning of his behavior by those who allowed their love of his wife and kids to overshadow their common sense and their sympathy for those Donn hurt, pulled away from my Bangladesh family. I pulled out from all but one or two relationships. Many times when an auntie or uncle or former jungle playmate contacted me on facebook I clicked ignore. Why? Because I have wanted to pull myself away from people who would allow such things to happen and be silent, be loyal to the party line, value a grown man and his sin more than a child who had been wounded. You say you love his wife. Fine. You should have invited HER and asked that DK not attend. She probably would have received MORE grace, more love, more support without DK by her side at these events. I am still trying to reconcile all of this in my heart.
–This silence, this pulling away, this childhood that was (to outsiders) so unique and strange has caused me to feel over the past few weeks like my heart is being torn out by the seams. In some ways it is good. I am reminded how much my Bangladesh family really means to me and that is good. There were plenty of aunts and uncles who were deserving of the title and are almost as good as blood. But being freed from the oppressive culture of spiritual abuse (forgive because Jesus forgave, do what the board says is right) and silence (do not expose this sin for the world to see, it would hamper the gospel) has been a twenty year process for me.
This week it is finally and truly happening: Truth is coming out of darkness. I am seeing the grown ups that I thought loved a man more than justice speak out on behalf of those in pain. Our little third culture is dropping, slowly but surely, its blind trust in an organization to do what is right, as they’ve proven they cannot YET (yet) be trusted again. Our little third culture is dropping the bond of oppression that says, you cannot speak your mind or you put the gospel at risk. Our little third culture is embracing once again what mattered more then and now: our love for each other and love for God and His truth.
I am still perplexed about this business of calling non family members “aunty and uncle.” ABWE missionaries did try that here in Australia many years ago but it didn’t work as the Aussies hold that term very very dear.
I called some people Aunt and Uncle but not all. I called those Aunt and Uncle that I knew at least in a small way. There was more than just a neighbor or we both go to the same church kind of closeness. They were family-stand-ins when I was away from family.
I’ve heard some say that their missionary Aunt and Uncles felt more like Aunt and Uncles to them than biological Aunt and Uncles. Why? Because they had spent time with their missionary Aunt and Uncles and barely knew the biological ones.
It’s true that missionaries aren’t a family in the normal sense of the way people think of family. But then, many mission field situations aren’t normal life.
Think of the extended family system in many Asian countries. Another example – It is common in African American families for a good friend to be called Aunt or Uncle, to go to parent/teacher meetings at school, or to the hospital, or discipline a child. Perhaps missionary Aunt and Uncles simply reflect their unique culture. People tend to draw together into homogeneous groups. Perhaps in Australia, Mks can more easily find a place to fit/belong outside the missionary circle.
(I won’t get into the subject of colonialism and its repercussions)
I think what I am trying to get my head and heart around is maybe this familiarity contributed to this secrecy, I don’t know.
You may be right to a point. I can acknowledge that. It doesn’t help children to understand boundaries with adults when they are forced to call even strangers “uncle” or “aunt” immediately just because they are white Christians.
However, it is very true that most of these families were closer to us than our own extended blood families back home in America, and that a familial love for most of us was very real and true. The majority do not deserve to be lumped into the same category as DK. This was a complex situation with pressures and secrets and it is difficult to judge these missionaries around him once you know the whole story. The ones who did have the whole story? The highest people at ABWE then and now. They are the ones with no excuse.
And you will notice that now that most of our “aunties and uncles” DO have the truth, even just a small glimpse of it here (and what is here is small, believe it or not), they have sided with the children who were molested. Very few have remained silent and loyal to the party line. Their silence is deafening, but it does not drag us away from our search for truth and for justice.
So while aunt and uncle can seem like creepy terms to some, they are not when people help raise you, as people in Bangladesh helped raise me. We were much more isolated, much more reliant on each other than missionaries like yourself who were not in third world countries.
— Tamara
Pamela E. Bennett says:
–I think what I am trying to get my head and heart around is maybe this familiarity contributed to this secrecy, I don’t know.–
In a way, it probably did. Especially if you change the words to trust and denial. Consider these statistics:
“Most often, sexual abusers know the child they abuse but are not family. About 60% of abusers fall into that group. For example, the abuser might be a friend of the family, babysitter, or neighbor. About 30% of those who sexually abuse children are family members of the child. This includes fathers, uncles, or cousins. The abuser is a stranger in only about 10% of child sexual abuse cases.”
Family members and close friends of the family (90% of the abusers) receive more trust from both the child and others. Denial is probably the first response for anyone, even if only fleeting. Sometimes family members never get past denial. Denial fights away the loss. Many things are lost. Some of them are loss of assumptions, of specific beliefs, of a broader world-view of the way the world works, our view of God…
Admitting the abuse means the relationship with that family member or friend is forever changed. When the person was pedestaled, our false god is revealed as false. Our spiritual giant idol has crumbled. We learn that our godly leader is equally sinful. It’s hard to lose our god. (notice, small g). It challenges our understanding of God. Is this His will? The storm is huge on many fronts. It is easier to try to deny. It didn’t really happen. It wasn’t really that bad.
Yes, being family can contribute to the secrecy in many ways, for many reasons, not just protecting the organization.
All equally sinful.
But you knew that.
Dear Perplexed, and all,
I am fully in accord with what this blog is trying to do–expose moral evil, which it has begun to do, and aid in the restoration of the victims of this moral evil, to the degree possible, by letting them be heard and believed, which it has also begun to do. Praise God for this.
One thing the blog does NOT want to do is hurt the innocent or broadcast error. To that end, let me say: This morning I talked to a close friend who is a member of Closed Door Ministry inner team, and not a Ketcham family member. He assured me that Dr. Donn Ketcham is not, and has never been a board member of CDM, nor it’s associated ministry, Women at Risk. Neither has he ever been a formal speaker for either ministry. He did, in the past, accompany the director of CDM (at his own expense) on a trip to the far east as a part of their survey team, not as a speaker.. In addition he has never been asked to speak or minister to Woman at Risk. That is first hand information from a very reliable non-family source. So it is unfortunate that Perplexed posted some of this as fact. It is not fair that CDM/WAR get caught in the crossfire.
Having said that, I encourage the sharing of relevant, accurate, and helpful material on this site. The women who are victims, and their families, deserve to be heard in order to bring about whatever healing and restoration is possible. Even from ashes God can make beauty, from mourning, He can make gladness, from despair (depression) he can make praise, so you will display His splendor (Is 61:3). You ARE beautiful. let it grow! Uncle Dr. Joe DeCook
Thank you, Susannah, for adding your name to the list of those who will not be silent.
And Diane too. You are right, your mom has been a quiet champion for truth in this for a longer than most of us know.
I personally find fault with ABWE’s “initial reponse” in the following ways:
1. They sending church was not notified of pedophilia. They were notified of an immoral conduct, which was still not clearly identified as an affair.
2. IT IS NOT ENOUGH, in a case of child sexual abuse, to just tell “when asked”. I am sure there are many people out there who are outraged at this defense. There is also testimony on this blog from an individual who says he DID ask and was not told. ABWE’s story on their website does not hold even with “one of their own”.
Question: Are you still waiting for the state of Michigan to ASK you about it?
3. ABWE’s acknowledgement that they enabled Donn Ketcham to reenter his community with the elite title of “former medical missionary”. They say so on their website. This is a problem for me and it requires more explanation.
4. ABWE’s “own investigations” were insufficient and incomplete. So that the general public knows, as stated more than once in other posts, there are many, many mk’s who lived in close contact with Donn Ketcham who have never received a letter, email, or phone calling asking for an interview. Myself included.
5. ABWE did not explain their reasoning behind forcing a confession from a 14 year old girl and and no confession of their own as to why they did NOT tell her family about it. The posting of the signed confession on this blog was the first time they had seen or heard of it. Shocked is the only word remotely suitable (but completely insufficient) to describe their reaction to seeing that “confession”. The grief they are experiencing as a result is seemingly insurmountable at this point. Imagine being the 14 year old who for 20+ years has believed her parents allowed them to make her sign that confession when in reality they knew nothing about it.
6. ABWE’s expression of love and concern for those of us who are courageously sharing our stories has thus far been insincere. WE have not heard from you directly yet. If you are truly sincere, then contact us. The media has already found our cell phone numbers…we know you could, too. Of course, we may not talk to you directly because we are waiting for you to agree to a third party investigation by someone we can agree on. We will talk to them. Your statement would mean more if you were trying, though.
7. In regard to your comment that “We have not promoted him as an ABWE speaker”, can you explain to me how you are not promoting him as a speaker when many of you attend a church that chooses to bring Donn in as a preacher. In. The. Pulpit. There is no justifiable reason. When he was scheduled to be in the pulpit that day, you already had in your possession a signed confession from the perpetrator himself AND you had already started hearing from the other victims. I also would like an explanation of how you believe Mary Lou Brownell’s book about MK’s isn’t allowing Donn Ketcham to represent ABWE for the next unknown number of years, until the Lord’s return (read Don Davis’ emails posted with the other documents). I find Don Davis’ defense of the book very, very weak. If you feel it is important to include him because he is part of your history then you must include ALL of the history. (The Bible and the world include the good, bad, and the oh-so-ugly in their historical accounts.)
8. You say that you have never tolerated child abuse and yet you are guilty of child abuse in making a 14 year old sign a confession. How is that zero tolerance?
9. It is inappropriate to wait for a request to help with counseling and other expenses. An offer should have been extended when you did your investigation. Your investigation was obviously incomplete and insufficient.
10. The “safe place” you speak of is not safe. There is an army of MK’s who will testify with me of this. It has not been safe under either of the Kempton and Loftis administrations. You need to submit to a suitable and trustworthy third party for investigation. We have a suggestion for you….use G.R.A.C.E. They have already earned our trust.
11. Your new policies are reactionary, not preventative.
I am a MK from another country. I grew up with wonderful, fond memories of extended family. As you stated in your letter the “family” atmosphere was a given and expected attitude. Most adults had the freedom to interact and discipline the children. We as children did not question it. I can recall indiscretions (and I choose that word with tongue in cheek) on our mission field that were quietly taken care of. I do know of sexual abuse that happened between the older boys towards younger girls on the mission field that I grew up on. I do not know the extent of it or who may have known internally, but I do know that it occurred on more than one occasion and was quietly swept up and taken care of. The loud, blatant result however was lives that were altered and affected profoundly. This is so evident while I read these blogs. This blog has brought a dirty secret to light. One such “indiscretion” that was whispered about and yet never really confirmed during my youth was the DK “indiscretion”. Due to the missionary connection, my parents were friends with Donn and Kitty Ketcham. I can say that his “indiscretion” was truly a secret in that there was never a mention of his crime and as a young person I can even remember a sympathetic attitude that such a great man was sent home. Looking back at this time it almost felt like a “boys will be boys” type attitude. Let me make it clear here that I never heard anyone say those words but I did hear that attitude in my young interpretation. I can remember the deep compassion expressed by so many during the tragic events of their personal family life. I remember the sentiments of “how could such horrible things happen to such a great servant”. Theirs is indeed a tragic life. The loss to that family goes far beyond the loss of life. I am physically sick as I think about his wife and children and grandchildren. It is so ironic that his daughter is so deeply involved in helping victims of the very crimes her own father committed. My heart goes out to the many whose lives were changed so greatly when DK decided he was god. These lives are not just the abused women but the men that love them the families that love them and the people that they love back. I am proud of you for stepping into the unfair line of fire. I am also deeply and profoundly and humbly grateful for the whole, healthy complete love of Jesus. His mercies are new every morning and for just today we claim them to face this day alone. It is evident in these blogs that each day brings a little more pain but also a little more healing. Press on my dear, sweet sisters.
My personal testimony:
I have loved my ABWE family and Bangladesh missionaries for all of my adult life, even though this story has been made to be part my story for 20+ years. From the depths of my heart and soul, I assure you all that the offender and the ABWE administration (the old regime) have been people I abhor and love at the same time. The only way you can fully appreciate that statement is if you yourself are a victim of a loved one’s sins/crimes against you. Children of incest both hate and love their parent. Statistics show that victims of pedophilia (when it is committed over a long period of time by a loved one) feel the paradoxical emotions about the perpetrator. It is a paradox not understood by those who have not experienced it. The love we have for ABWE is sustained by the glimmer of hope we have that they’ll someday do what is right before the victims, their families, the world, and most importantly, our God. I cannot fully embrace the new administration because the only contact I have had with them is related to this case. We have believed they were helping, we have felt their betrayal, and we have yet to see or feel any sincere love sent our way. I speak from first hand experience and conversations with them. I do NOT feel the paradoxical relationship with them at all. I feel neither of those emotions…I simply do not have any respect for them.
I am not bitter. I am hurt. I am hurt on the behalf of my sister who was not only made to sign a confession of guilt when she was a minor, but who has been victimized by the ABWE administration for the past two decades. I am hurt on behalf of my parents who were not handled with respect and who have been told on more than one occasion involving more than one offense to keep quiet. I am hurt on behalf of my other two sisters and their families who have their own pain…the loss of a best friend/sister, the loss a cute and happy baby sister, the lost of innocent and peaceful relationships, and the loss of freedom from fear. I hurt for myself. For all of the above and more. I hurt for my fellow mk’s who have borne this in silence with us as we prayed and waited patiently for the administrations, both old and new, to do what was right and restore our faith in them.
I am not bitter. I am angry. I am angry that this man did this to my little sister. I am angry that he hurt our family to depths you cannot imagine. I am angry that I was not more in tune or aware of the dangers around her and could therefore not help her. I am angry that other precious little girls were violated. I am angry that their families were silenced and hurt, too. I am angry about the division this has caused in our large Bangladesh family…at one time a very special and precious family. I am angry that ABWE mishandled it from the beginning and continues to do so today. I am angry that they continued to mishandle it through the years of questions and pleas for help.
I can remember feeling jealous, yes, JEALOUS that the child was so favored by Donn Ketcham. I remember resenting that she was favored by members of the home office when they came out (who shall remain unnamed for now). They always asked for hugs from ——…but not from us. I remember wondering what was so special about her that she received preferential treatment. Little did I know that she was crying out to God and asking Him, “Why me? Why me? Why not someone else?” I cry tears of deep sorrow at those memories today.
I can remember breast exams that were awkward and went on and on. I can remember being placed in his bed with him when I was sick while staying at his house. I can remember stirring during that sickness and having his face, yes…his specific face, looming over me. He would ask how I was feeling. I have no recollection of abuse nor do I have nightmares. I call that a gift from God. My memories which include his face, his voice, and his touch, are confirmation enough for those who don’t remember a face that their stories are indeed true. I remember going to the hospital to “help” and not being allowed to because my sister was his little helper. None of us were given that opportunity. I thank the Lord for that now, but I am angry that I was not more alert or aware of the dangers for my little sister.
I applaud all of you have chosen to stand with us. I applaud your courage to share your memories. I thank you for being brave and kind. I am trusting God in all of this. I know He is working wonderful, wonderful things behind the scenes. I know that for me personally, once this is resolved by ABWE and DK being honest and taking full and complete responsibility and the proper authorities are informed, I will feel a huge burden lifted. I will rejoice that Donn Ketcham has not only been granted forgiveness by those he offended, but that he is no longer able to access children. I will be comforted that there is still a righteous man or two standing at ABWE. I imagine that other victims will feel similarly but I can only speak for myself.
I trust God. He has always been and still is on His throne.
Diane Walsh Ford’s comments are very disturbing “I remember the “physicals” that we had and they usually required us to remove our underwear.” As a practicing gynecologist for 37 years, I never asked a teen to remove her underwear unless it was a premarital exam or disease related. Same for breast exam, not necessary unless symptom related. Pediatricians, please weigh in: agree or disagree?
Diane, and others who had physicals: Was there a nurse in the room? Or parent? In the US, we would not think of even touching a patient, let alone examine one, without a nurse or parent in the room. Teen Patients: what was your experience at Malumghat. With the chronic shortage of personnel at Malumghat, I could have examined one of you without a nurse present (but would never do a pelvic or breast exam without a nurse or parent present!)
Missionary nurses: what was your experience with the MK physicals. We need to get some light of day in here. What do you remember? What was the standard: nurse present, or not? Parent present, or not? Underwear off, or not? Breast exams, or not? What was the routine?
I ask the questions for clarity. I simply don’t remember the nursing protocols.
Dear Dr. DeCook,
I know I am not one of the nurses answering but my understanding from talking to other girls is that Dr. Ketcham simply didn’t follow protocol at all times with physicals. He somehow got girls in the examining room by themselves for a short period of time, whether a nurse or their parent was suppose to be there or not.
Susannah
Uncle Joe, I ask myself this all the time. I asked my mom and she doesn’t remember. I don’t remember details at all except for bits and pieces. I honestly think that even if a nurse was present that they wouldn’t think anything was wrong because if the Dr. was doing it…it must be right and okay. I don’t have any answers for you on this one. Several others recall the same thing though.
I have been an office nurse for 2 pediatricians, 2 OB/Gyn’s and 1 family Dr. None of the Drs have ever examined a minor without a nurse and/or parent in the room. No physicals were ever done on children that required removal of underwear.
When I was 14 or 15 I caught Cat Scratch Fever (I know, right? A real thing. Thanks, cat.) and the lymph node under my left arm was swollen to the point I felt like a baseball had been shoved into it. Also, my fever was over 104.
What I do remember was that DK came to our home to examine me. He asked that I remove ALL of my clothing (underwear included) so that he might check each and all lymph nodes. He instructed my mother to lay a sheet over me as I lay naked on the bed. Though the memory is a bit buzzy, as I was so sick, I seem to remember that he asked my mom to leave so I’d be less embarrassed. But I cannot confirm that, as neither of us fully remember.
What I DO remember is that while he did not do anything I can specifically point to as sexual in nature, it was the most thorough examining of my lymph nodes (all of them) I’ve ever had, and it was very, very humiliating to endure as a young teenage girl.
Why do I bring this up? Wasn’t he just a doctor doing his job?
Well, I’ve had cancer. It just so happens my lymph nodes get checked by my oncologist at EVERY single visit. Lymph nodes are pretty important in this whole cancer thing, you know. And they get checked at EVERY SINGLE VISIT. And never once, not one time, has this oncologist ever asked me to fully undress. I might unbutton my jeans for him now and then. Or lift my shirt a little higher. But get naked? No. And he’s usually done in a matter of seconds.
This is not a “tragic misunderstanding,” neither is it a clear cut case of molestation, I know, because he was a physician and I was sick, but it IS further proof of a pattern of getting young girls to be naked and get his hands on them when it was absolutely NOT necessary to do so.
Cat Scratch Fever is not a systemic disease requiring all lymph node fields to be examined, regardless of the state of dress or undress of the patient. It is invariably the upper extremity, and directly related to a scratch or bite (saliva born); and would only affect a lymph node field draining that extremity. Its pretty easy to check an armpit without removing ANY clothing.
Kids are pretty uncomfortable removing any clothing, for any exam. I think mine sleep with, like three layers of clothing on. So compelling a young woman/girl to undress and lie under a sheet WAITING must have been like a prison torture sequence (and completely inappropriate to the medical needs of the exam.)
And while I’m on it, it’s rarely necessary to do a rectal or vaginal exam on anybody from age 2 to 17 or 18 (or whenever that first pelvic exam gets scheduled). Outside of trauma (fractured pelvis, the like) these cavity exams are restricted to sexual abuse exams, and are in a highly charged environment already. It certainly yields almost no useful information in the evaluation of appendicitis, gastroenteritis, and absolutely no useful information in a “routine” annual exam at that age. It is so stressful for the patient, and of so little use, I no longer do them for those routine disease evaluations.
Daniel, thank you for weighing in. I am very grateful to you and to your father (further down the blog) for your opinions that come from a medical standpoint on what was and was not appropriate/necessary for Cat Scratch Fever. And you are correct. The scratch was an open and infected wound on my arm, same arm with the swollen nodes in my armpit. It was an incredibly humiliating exam, which is why I remember it, despite being so sick. Even after learning DK was not all he seemed, I always wanted to believe it was necessary that day and I’m sure my mother did as well or she would not have allowed it … and it’s sad it has taken more than 20 years to realize it wasn’t.
Donn Ketcham may not have been on the CDM board, but as of Oct. 21, 2009 according to this article, he was a board member at this church. http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2009/10/alpha_womens_center_again_is_d.html
Please don’t miss that this is a blog about the abuse of children of Christian leaders, by another Christian leader and the failure of the leaders over them all to deal with it right.
If leaders are persuaded that their personal failure will tarnish the work of God, they deal with it privately and quietly and move on. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen that belief in action. I myself used to believe this. And I’m guessing many of you who have been a part of this have told yourselves this for decades. And that is why this has taken so long to come to light.
Who would confess their sins if they believed it would tarnish God? Who would tell of sins committed against them if they believed it would undermine the work of God? Not people who love God and want to see His work flourish. But we bought or have bought into a lie.
The truth is that God has no need of a man or a mission board. If we believe the work of God can be destroyed by a call to integrity and openness, then we believe it is man’s work and not God’s. God does not delight in lies, cover-ups, secrecy.
A pastor friend sent me these verses this week — 1 Timothy 5:19-21. And he said, “It starts with a warning about accusing a church leader: ‘Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.’ But it finishes with this sobering command: ‘But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning. I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.’”
If we refuse to deal with the sins of leaders rightly and thoroughly, God makes it public eventually because He calls leaders to a higher standard. And when leaders’ failures – including the failure to deal appropriately with the sins of others — are totally exposed to the Truth and the things hidden come to light and we think we are going to die from humiliation . . . then we get to see who our God really is. He is bigger than our failure. Bigger than our shame. (I am speaking of this from personal experience, but it is not for this blog.)
It is shortsightedness to think this blog — and its contents and the very public exposure — will hurt the ministry when the reality is that it will bring (and has brought) healing to so many. God is not limited by our failures.
ABWE needs to look beyond these MKs, the ABWE family and supporting churches to a much larger world-wide audience that is watching and waiting to see what they are going to do. Will they set a new standard – actually an old, Biblical one — of transparency and openness by going outside their sphere of influence to get REAL accountability? Will they let light into the hidden places? Or will they choose to go with an entity that has ties to the home office already? One that has not actively pursued this issue though they’ve been tied together for 5 YEARS? Asking your friends to find your flaws and be tough about it isn’t the right way to get accountability. They just can’t be objective.
The statistics of sexual abuse within the Church (in the universal sense) are staggering. It HAS to be dealt with! No more cover-ups. No more “collusion.” ABWE has the opportunity to be an example for evangelical nonprofits everywhere. The question is, will they be a good one or a bad one?
I have been watching this blog for weeks and haven’t said anything because my opinion feels so small in the scope of this. All I can say is, I am so sorry for all of the hurt I am seeing. I got to the field days after this whole came out in BD in 1989 and continued to see the aftermath for years after, as I lived with one of the families for years, back in the states. Alot of the reason I became a Proffessional Counselor was to help people work through the same type of pain I saw.
I share the prayer of Nan and Ricks words specifically, (let me quote,thanks Rick:)) “I pray that your identity and relationship with God and others isn’t entangled or dependent on the outcome of this confrontation.” I have so much respect for so many of the opinions posted here and am in awe of the support.
It is my greatest hope that healing is found here in the way it was intended. I hope if Dr. Ketcham never breathes a word of apology, some kind of Peace will be found in this process. I pray as well, for the hurt his family is facing as it could appear that lines are being drawn and sides chosen. His family members are good, Godly people who need to know we are not against them and we will embrace them and not hold them accountable for, “the sins of the father.”
Bangladesh was my childhood and so I use the name of my childhood to greet old friends and stand with them.
James 2:17-18
In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, “You have faith, I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
James 2:8-9
If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as law breakers.
I am an ABWE missionary in Thailand and also was an MK from Bangladesh. I have read through the blog for the last week and a half with so many emotions running through my mind. I applaud Susannah for having the courage to start this blog and get healing for the victims. I also want to give high praise to my mom who has believed not only her kids but the other victims, and has prayed and cried over this for many years. I love you mom…you are a true hero.
My heart goes out to my cousin and her husband (Donn’s son), their kids, and Donn Ketcham’s wife who must be going through so much right now. This is so hard because we love them and work in the same country.
I don’t remember any specific abuse to myself by him except the fact that I have recurring nightmares that have been going on for decades. We all saw the flirtatious way he was with women and the rides on the back of his motorcycle. I remember the “physicals” that we had and they usually required us to remove our underwear . I have 6 kids and have never gone to a pediatrician where the kids had to remove their underwear, have an interal exam or breast exam when they were under the age of 13. Alot of this is documented in the hospital charts which were written by himself.
I really do want everyone to know that we are one big family who loves you, believes you and wants healing. Please ABWE don’t let us down…do the right thing. I, like David DeCook, don’t want to lose faith in you. We know ABWE missionaries are doing amazing things all over the world but the lack of response by the administration right now is causing more harm than good. We don’t want any more silence.
Diane,
Thank you so much for your post. Your words are a game changer for me.
My heart aches for every person who has been hurt and all I can say is I pray for every victim and anyone who has been touched by this pain. I myself can’t imagine it. I just feel for all of the girls. I do know God loves each and every one of them. I know he weeps more than we can imagine when this happens. Each victim is a wonderful precious child of God and is loved and will be prayed for.
I am so glad you started this blog!! I am a cousin of one of the victims. I have seen her struggle in a lot of ways over the years. I hope and pray that she and all the other victims can heal and get some closure. I am praying for everyone (victims and their familys). You all have been so brave.
ANSWERS TO COMMON QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN ASKED
1. Was Donn Ketcham’s abuse reported by ABWE? Can anything be reported now?
We regret that ABWE failed to report the child molestation incident to the Michigan Bureau of Health Professions or to prosecutorial authorities in 1989. Although neither report was legally required at the time, we realize that our handling of this situation was wrong because additional children may have been at risk.
Following our discovery in 2002 that other MKs had suffered abuse, we investigated filing a report with the Michigan Bureau of Health Professions. We learned through a medical official at the hospital system in Grand Rapids (where Donn Ketcham worked) that since the abuse occurred outside the jurisdiction of the State of Michigan or the USA that nothing would be done with the report. Therefore a report was not filed at that time.
Subsequent to 1989, two churches which Donn Ketcham attended were informed by ABWE personnel of his past misconduct. Those churches took steps to prevent his access to children, and, in one case, requested he avoid contact with a former victim in attendance. Our attorney has recently contacted the Michigan Bureau of Health Professions; we were encouraged to file a report due to recent changes in attitude concerning allegations of abuse from several years ago, and we are doing so.
2. How is ABWE reaching out to the MKs?
ABWE has maintained a ministry of compassion and spiritual care to all ABWE MKs throughout the world. Dr. Loftis has repeatedly expressed in various public meetings with adult MKs that we welcome any reports of mistreatment which will be handled confidentially. It was during such a forum with MKs in 2002, in response to his invitation, that we first learned of additional child abuse victims of Donn Ketcham and provided immediate counseling for those who desired it.
Follow-up assistance to some has been ongoing.
To date, all MKs who have notified us they were personally abused by Donn Ketcham have been informed of our willingness to assist in their healing process. This has included professional counseling, legal assistance, spiritual counseling, and emotional support. Due to the previously expressed concerns of these victims and their families regarding public exposure, we have sought to maintain confidentiality in our communications.
While circumstances vary, we recognize that not every victim of abuse feels safe enough or at a point of life readiness to address these issues on someone else’s time frame. Guided by advice of experienced abuse counselors, we have never insisted on a specific time frame but initially offered help, and continue to maintain our willingness to help them through their own healing process when they are ready.
The care and well being of the abuse victims of Donn Ketcham remain our highest concern. In addition, we continue our attempts to privately contact other MKs who, though not personally abused, have been nonetheless affected by what took place. Not all those contacted have been willing to receive our offer to listen and help but we will continue our sincere offer of assistance.
3. Was 1989 the first time ABWE knew that Donn Ketcham was guilty of sexual misconduct?
Yes, 1989 was the first time ABWE became aware of Donn’s sexual misconduct.
There were two prior incidents involving inappropriate behavior with adult women. In each case, sexual misconduct was denied and the inappropriate behavior, which was not acceptable, did result in corrective counseling. The behavior that had been reported to the administration was not considered to be in violation of our moral failure policy by administrators, counselors, and pastors at the time. Corrective steps were taken and Donn was cleared to return to the field by his counselor and pastor.
Donn Ketcham’s confession to sexual misconduct with other adults came when he was confronted with the sexual abuse of a minor in 1989.
Prior to 1989 there was no indication that Donn Ketcham had acted inappropriately with children. And until 2002, we had no reason to believe the 1989 case was not a single incident. All cases of sexual misconduct in violation of our moral failure policy have consistently resulted in the termination of ABWE missionary personnel.
4. Was the victim forced to sign a confession?
No she was not. According to the counselor who accompanied her to the field with our administrator to confront Donn Ketcham in 1989, she was not forced to sign a confession but rather assisted to organize her testimony and put it on paper to help her through the emotionally traumatic experience of facing her abuser. The use of the word “confession” was and is unfortunate and misleading to those who see it today.
In addition, she was encouraged to do this to assure that in the event she was emotionally unable to confront him personally, her signed testimony would be strong enough evidence to bring Donn Ketcham to the point of admission of guilt. This in fact was successful and Donn Ketcham’s actions were exposed and he was removed from the field immediately.
ABWE,
You still aren’t telling the truth. I am so shocked all over again that I have no other words.
Susannah Beals Baker
I was Donn Ketcham’s pastor at Newhall Baptist Church from 1987 thru 1990. During this time frame I was never told of any “sexual misconduct” so I consequently could not “clear” Donn to return to service. And as stated before, in 1989 we were not told that his sin involved pedophilia. We were led to believe his sin was that of adultery. I have called the man who served as our Deacon Chair at the time and he clearly recalls that we were told Donn’s sin was that of adultery. We dealt with him as though he was guilty and repentant of the sin of adultery. I sent my own young daughters to him for medical care after he returned from the field…something I would never, never! have done if I had known he had committed acts of pedophilia. I resent the implications of ABWE that we are somehow complicit in this apparent cover up. The good people of Newhall Baptist had no knowledge of the full extent of Donn’s sins. I am deeply upset that I was not given the information necessary to shepherd and protect my flock as I had promised Jesus I would do.
To those who have described “breast exams” and other bizarre medical practices toward children:
I am a journalist and write specifically about crime. Under Indiana law, which is similar to most, ANY contact with a child under the age of 13 (from 13-15 it is sexual misconduct) that is for the sexual gratification of EITHER the child or the perpetrator is considered a criminal act of child molesting. So while a child may not be aware at the time (and most are not in the more common, less physically intrusive but equally emotionally damaging) that the conduct exists for a sexual reason, it is still a crime.
Meaning: If DK was performing such “exams” for his own personal gratifications, than that too is a crime and should be brought to the attention of the authorities/leaders.
I know that is a hard truth, but the law now recognizes that just because children are “innocent” of the nature of the conduct, their abusers are not and the children should be protected.
Again, you are all in my prayers and I remain touched by your courage and grace.
Rebecca – Does being aroused while touching them during the examination qualify as “seeking sexual gratification” because I have heard from at least 3 of his victims that this was the case. I would think so!
Linda:
I am afraid that it does. If he was sexually aroused or stimulated, or even if that was his intent, that makes the content abusive and criminal. If the victim also experienced a natural, biological and physical reaction to an unnatural act, and that subsequent response was undesired and unwelcome and caused by the action of DK, than that too makes the conduct abusive and criminal.
For the sake of relevant discussion, Michigan laws describe it differently but the concepts are the same. The links below contain graphic language, so those who proceed, proceed knowing that:
Here are the state of Michigan’s definitions of child abuse:
http://legislature.mi.gov/doc.aspx?mcl-750-136b
Here are the state of Michigan’s definitions of sexual abuse:
http://legislature.mi.gov/doc.aspx?mcl-750-145c
I am an MK who lived in Bangladesh from ‘72-’90 and have a great deal of love and respect for my extended family who have made posts on this blog. Susie, what you have done has taken a tremendous amount of courage and I applaud you for it.
For my “cousins” whom I love dearly, please forgive my past ignorance, and know that I am here for you. I have two sons and two daughters and every post that I read makes me think “what if this were one of my daughters?” And then the realization hits that this happened to some of my best friends by someone I greatly respected! This fact thoroughly outrages me. I can only scratch the surface of imagining what these dear people have gone through. Knowing now that they have been going through this nightmare for decades brings tears to my eyes.
Regarding Phil’s post on 3/23/11 9:45am, this needs to be investigated thoroughly and immediately. I have traveled with Phil in Bangladesh and I know how people trust him and open up to him. He knows the culture and the people extremely well and he should be heard.
I hold the ABWE mission organization in high regards; however, what was done was wrong and should have been made public back in ’89, and Phil’s concerns in ’03 should have been given top priority. Please listen closely to the victims’ families so that not only can they start to heal by some small measure of justice being served, but also so that proactive measures can be implemented to prevent this from happening again in the country and field that I love or any other field where there are faithful missionaries striving to lead others to our Savior.
Charles, thank you! You and Mark and Eric all coming forward with support means the world to all of us who grew up with one particular victim of the abuse. THANK YOU.
I love you, my brother. You’re the first person I know of to speak those words! They mean the world to me.
I just wanted to share this Psalm. I am reading a book dealing with emotions and am in the section on grief recovery. One of the verses says something to the effect: The Lord is close to the broken-hearted. I looked up Psalm 37 online and here it is from the Net Bible:
Psalm 37
37:1 By David.
Do not fret when wicked men seem to succeed!
Do not envy evildoers!
37:2 For they will quickly dry up like grass,
and wither away like plants.
37:3 Trust in the LORD and do what is right!
Settle in the land and maintain your integrity!
37:4 Then you will take delight in the LORD,
and he will answer your prayers.
37:5 Commit your future to the LORD!
Trust in him, and he will act on your behalf.
37:6 He will vindicate you in broad daylight,
and publicly defend your just cause.
37:7 Wait patiently for the LORD!
Wait confidently for him!
Do not fret over the apparent success of a sinner,
a man who carries out wicked schemes!
37:8 Do not be angry and frustrated!
Do not fret! That only leads to trouble!
37:9 Wicked men 15 will be wiped out,
but those who rely on the LORD are the ones who will possess the land.
37:10 Evil men will soon disappear;
you will stare at the spot where they once were, but they will be gone.
37:11 But the oppressed will possess the land
and enjoy great prosperity.
37:12 Evil men plot against the godly
and viciously attack them.
37:13 The Lord laughs in disgust at them,
for he knows that their day is coming.
37:14 Evil men draw their swords
and prepare their bows,
to bring down the oppressed and needy,
and to slaughter those who are godly.
37:15 Their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
37:16 The little bit that a godly man owns is better than
the wealth of many evil men,
37:17 for evil men will lose their power,
but the LORD sustains the godly.
37:18 The LORD watches over the innocent day by day
and they possess a permanent inheritance.
37:19 They will not be ashamed when hard times come;
when famine comes they will have enough to eat.
37:20 But evil men will die;
the LORD’s enemies will be incinerated –
they will go up in smoke.
37:21 Evil men borrow, but do not repay their debt,
but the godly show compassion and are generous.
37:22 Surely those favored by the LORD will possess the land,
but those rejected by him will be wiped out.
37:23 The LORD grants success to the one
whose behavior he finds commendable.
37:24 Even if he trips, he will not fall headlong,
for the LORD holds his hand.
37:25 I was once young, now I am old.
I have never seen a godly man abandoned,
or his children forced to search for food.
37:26 All day long he shows compassion and lends to others,
and his children are blessed.
37:27 Turn away from evil! Do what is right!
Then you will enjoy lasting security.
37:28 For the LORD promotes justice,
and never abandons his faithful followers.
They are permanently secure,
but the children of evil men are wiped out.
37:29 The godly will possess the land
and will dwell in it permanently.
37:30 The godly speak wise words
and promote justice.
37:31 The law of their God controls their thinking;
their feet do not slip.
37:32 Evil men set an ambush for the godly
and try to kill them.
37:33 But the LORD does not surrender the godly,
or allow them to be condemned in a court of law.
37:34 Rely on the LORD! Obey his commands!
Then he will permit you to possess the land;
you will see the demise of evil men.
37:35 I have seen ruthless evil men
growing in influence, like a green tree grows in its native soil.
37:36 But then one passes by, and suddenly they have disappeared!
I looked for them, but they could not be found.
37:37 Take note of the one who has integrity! Observe the godly!
For the one who promotes peace has a future.
37:38 Sinful rebels are totally destroyed;
evil men have no future.
37:39 But the LORD delivers the godly;
he protects them in times of trouble.
37:40 The LORD helps them and rescues them;
he rescues them from evil men and delivers them,
for they seek his protection.
I found this incredibly encouraging and hope that it encourages others here as well.
I’m not an MK, PK or any kind of K. Just an ordinary Joe who knows some of you by name from long ago and it’s doubtful you would remember me. It’s gut wrenching to read your stories and makes my blood boil seeing how your supposed leadership has failed so miserably. I’ve experienced the betrayal of leadership myself and I think the worst part of it was watching them carry on the charade of being those godly people who could fail so badly and yet never be called to account because of their esteemed position. abwe stands to lose a great deal from your revelations and as well they should. How anyone in their right mind could respect, trust or work with an organization that has allowed this to go on, is beyond me. They need to come completely clean and those around who were directly involved need to step down immediately in disgrace out of whatever respect they have for what they’ve claimed to believe.
Sad to say, I’m guessing they’ve covered themselves in attorneys and are holding endless meetings on how to get out of this mess. No matter what they say or do, their integrity has been destroyed, long ago. Not by what happened to the precious kids under their care but by their response. You can forgive a person or persons, but you have to deal with their actions. Something as horrific as this is well beyond the scope of treating employees poorly, money laundering or poor management.
My question to the victims in specific and to all who have been touched by this is do you know what will bring any sense of peace and resolution? What could abwe possibly do or say beyond coming clean that will mean anything, or is that enough? The idea of resolving anything with dk himself is ridiculous. The very fact that he still carries on a medical practice speaks volumes about his heart. You can’t put a candy addict in the candy store and expect any other outcome but more of the same.
I have the utmost respect and admiration of your courage and struggle to pursue the truth and to move on with your lives. There are I’m sure, some very powerful personalities within your christian circles that would desperately like this to go away. You’ve opened a pandora’s box that could reveal countless ugly realities. Reputations, career’s, ministries etc… are all at stake. I wish you wisdom, strength and courage in your fight. More people than you know, such as myself, are watching and supporting you. May God bless your lives and make Himself very real and very present to you.
How long before we hear from the ABWE Board members? Your name is on the line too. Are you going to clean house?
Dr. DeCook:
I always went with my girls when they had exams with any doctor. The last exam was different and I was so uncomfortable. We had a nurse in the room also. But DK went on and on about a breast exam and explained to me that he liked to explain to them what he was doing and why. I know what an exam is like and this one was so long
After he left I whispered to the nurse asking her if she thought it was a little overdone and right. She said she didn’t notice. I did and I was uncomfortable. I will never forget it.
I will weigh in as a general surgeon (same training as Donn’s) who does a fair amount of breast surgery:
–It’s rarely productive to do an extended breast exam on any teenager, especially at the cusp of puberty. Occasional lumps are noted (usually by the patient herself), are usually benign ordinary fibrous tissue, or occasionally a fibroadenoma.
–There is equally little point in teaching a girl to examine her own breasts at that age–BSE in the parlance–as there’s little chance of any useful information coming to light.
–Adolescents are usually more comfortable with a parent present, not lesso. And a nurse chaperone is always recommended if the doctor is a man.
You were entirely right to feel creeped out by what you saw/perceived.
When I first saw this blog I was concerned about the wisdom of discussing these terrible wrongs in such a public forum. I thought I already knew the story and didn’t have anything to add. As I continued to follow the comments it became clear than there was more to the story than the few details I was told as a high schooler and that the hurts are deeper than I ever imagined. As the days went on I have been encouraged to see a lot of old friends speak out in support. I can’t stay silent any longer and must lend my voice to the list of those calling for the truth to win out over secrecy and for the healing of all the victims. I pray that those in leadership of ABWE and the Christian community as a whole will step forward and do the right thing and that those hurt by this terrible sin will find a measure of healing through the love and support of all the friends who have posted here. If there is anything I can do to help any of you, please let me know.
Mark, thank you!!
In response to ABWE’s most current statements on their site, I must state that I take issue with the administration of ABWE for these reasons:
1. You gave full impression at the time of the ’89 incident that you would be informing all the proper authorities. Donn’s letter states that “full disclosure has been made to the appropriate persons here in the states.” You are now confirming on your website that he lied. Your own letter, written by Russ Ebersole, does not give any indication that you reported the incident to the proper authorities. However, you own legal defense, Mr. Don Davis, claims in his correspondence with Susannah Beals Baker the following:
“We did attempt to make a report of child molestation, and have since done so again, but authorities said it was outside their jurisdiction. He was reported to the medical board (by at least two individuals), though I have no evidence that the mission made this report. I personally verified that it was made. His employer was aware, and responded to one reporter that they had systems in place to protect patients. They also said their options were limited because the authorities would take no official action. This is third hand, but I understand the medical board’s response was similar, that they could not take action where no official charge had been made by the authorities.”
Your legal defense lied to Susannah on November 6, 2009.
2. Every parent of an adolescent girl reading your statement today would challenge you on this: Do you think speaking with one official, who coincidentally happens to be his co-worker, is sufficient representation of the state of Michigan? Especially when you know other children have come forward, why would you stop with one person? Why would you not ask for documentation from the state of Michigan that it was indeed “out of their jurisdiction”. That puts responsibility on the state of Michigan and releases you of further responsibility. The common sense of that alone makes me doubt it is even true.
3. If you did indeed contact the pastors of the two churches you mention then they should be held responsible, too. It does not make us feel better to know you told them….it makes us feel worse that there are others included in the “cover up”.
4. If Michael Loftis was only offering help to those who showed up to events such as ME conferences, he was offering help to a limited audience. I ask you, why would those of us who had been hurt by those in the administration spend A LOT of money to attend those types of events to spend a few days with people who have betrayed us in the past or to come in close contact with someone who reminds us of a terrible part of our history with the mission Why would we do that?
5. If ABWE was made aware of more victims whose stories seemed “credible” because of the “substantial commonalities”, why would you not approach every MK from the Bangladesh field? That would be the only way your “investigation” would be thorough. We are a large field, but we are not so large that you could not have contacted each of us to say that there were more victims (without naming names) and ask if any of us have something we’d like to share or report. That would be the responsible thing to do.
6. In my experience, the following paragraph is a bold faced lie:
“The care and well being of the abuse victims of Donn Ketcham remain our highest concern. In addition, we continue our attempts to privately contact other MKs who, though not personally abused, have been nonetheless affected by what took place. Not all those contacted have been willing to receive our offer to listen and help but we will continue our sincere offer of assistance.”
** You have not shown that “highest concern” to me, Diana Durrill, daughter of missionaries to Bangladesh. I have received no email, no phone call. You have contacted my father to ask for the victim’s phone number. You had every opportunity to ask him for my contact information and did not do so. I have also asked many of my friends who have stated their names on the blog and none of them have received an email or phone call from you. I don’t believe for one minute that you have my best interest at heart when you have made no attempt to reach me or my husband.
7. I believe, and had heard from my Bangladesh “aunts and uncles”, that this statement is a lie:
“Yes, 1989 was the first time ABWE became aware of Donn’s sexual misconduct.”
I knew while I was still in Bangladesh that a beloved aunt of mine was sent home for inappropriate conduct with Donn Ketcham. I was told by people who were there when the confrontation regarding that relationship took place. I have heard even tonight from the adults who were present that they were told at the time (approximately 2 years prior to the victim’s “confession” in ’89) that there was inappropriate conduct between Donn and the single nurse and that she was sent home, and he was re-stationed. THEN we returned to the mission field. You know the rest of the story…
8. I take issue with your moral failure policy if it would permit ANY kind of inappropriate conduct between two grown adults, one of which was married, to slide. One is bad enough, but two is inexcusable. I find it almost funny that you use it to defend yourselves. It really isn’t funny. It was inappropriate enough for Donn to receive “corrective measures” and counsel from a “counselor and pastor.” Do you not think you just shot yourselves in the foot with this paragraph?
9. “All cases of sexual misconduct in violation of our moral failure policy have consistently resulted in the termination of ABWE missionary personnel.” If this is true, then your moral failure policy needs to be re-visited and it is about 6,000 years out of date. (Exodus 20)
10. In regard to your highly offensive point number 4 – I don’t really have to say much. Just read this post. It sums it up (however I cannot help but add my two cents afterward).
http://www.facebook.com/notes/tamara-barrick-rice/abwe-defends-having-sexual-abuse-victim-a-minor-sign-confession/10150129897322500
You are only kidding yourselves. I would bet that your voicemails and inboxes are full from your very own missionaries as they read your point #4. There are missionaries all over the world who are surely scrambling to find a new board because your defense of that confession is inexcusable and flat out offensive to any human being with cognitive abilities. If your intent was simply for the victim to state it did truly happen, it should have been phrased, “Dr. Donn Ketcham did this…(fill-in-the-blank)…to me.” You cannot convince me or the rest of the world that this is anything but a confession of wrongdoing:
“I, ________, have confessed to my pastor and his wife, Dr. Russ Ebersole, and Dr. Russ Lloyd that I have participated in a physical relationship with Dr. Don Ketcham that transgressed God’s Word and that was not pleasing to Him.”
And I quote: “I have confessed….I have participated…I have transgressed….” Those are not the words of a person who is confronting a perpetrator. Those are the words of a confession.
“Dr. Ketcham and I would meet alone in the hospital….we engaged in….”
These are not the words of someone confronting. These are the words of someone acknowledging consensual wrongdoing.
“I have not wanted to hurt anyone in doing this or in confessing to it, but I know what I did was very wrong, and I am very sorry for it.”
There is not one word in this phrase that is not wholly about confession.
“I have asked God’s forgiveness, and I know He has forgiven me. I pray that He will help me and others through this time,- and that I will become the person God wants me to be.”
Tell me, what about this phrase is about confronting Donn with what he did?
I am outraged at your point #4. So is the world. So should every missionary on your fields. If you did not shoot your own selves in the foot with the part about TWO slightly inappropriate immoral relationships, you surely did so now. This is ludicrous. Shameful. We demand you go back to the drawing board and try again to explain this confession (which, by the way, I challenge you to take one hundred fourteen year olds and ask them to write a confession of this nature on their own…you would not find 1 in 100 that would sound like this one. Why? Because YOU wrote it, asked her to read it and agree with it, and sign on the dotted line.)
Your credibility is shot and you fired the bullet.
Diana,
I would have to say that I agree with you fully on this and back you up 100%. I also can attest that ABWE has not ever tried to contact me and they have every means at the tips of their fingers to do so. Thank you for replying to the letter. You beat me to it. Well said! I’ve got your back!
i am thankful for this blog and for the truth that’s finally in the light. despite the horrific subject matter, the courage it has taken to start it and the many insightful posts have encouraged me. i was a bangladesh mk at the tail-end of this generation. so many names on here are so familiar. names of people i’ve looked up to. susannah, though i have never met you personally, THANK YOU. ever since i first became aware of this blog i have followed very closely, continually praying and waiting for a response from abwe. i haven’t posted anything because i continued to feel that there was no way i could express myself as eloquently as many people on here. but i realize now the importance of writing my name to show support, belief, and love.
i am angered by abwe’s latest ‘answers to common questions’. it’s a serious leap backward as many parts of their answers are lies. i’m confused and cynical. i don’t understand why if they are going to work this hard and scramble this much, abwe wouldn’t put that energy into an outpouring of love, investigation, and repentance. i’m just completely *awbawk* (for you non-bengalis, stymied) at the lies and otherwise silence. i don’t get it.
again, for all the victims–my mk sisters–i am so very sorry for your hurt, your loss. i have been praying since i learned the truth. and i will continue.
Please don’t pass by looking away from the wounded, afraid of damaging your own reputation. (Remember a man robbed and left for dead… passed by more than once by spiritual leaders of his time.) Let’s bend down picking up the pieces of these broken hearts and shattered lives. Risk being seen by the enemy as we cradle the wounded tenderly in our arms.
The world is watching. Jesus left us with clear instruction.
Everyone will know that you are my disciples- if you love one another. (John 13:35)
Greater love has no one than this. That he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
These women are more than friends. They are our sisters.
Another sad part about this is that ABWE needs to go back closer to 40 yrs in contacting young girls that were exposed. That is how long it was going on.
I am writing to say that after I sent off a few emails to Nancy Hepworth, the child safety officer at ABWE, she contacted me.
Here’s what I think all of us who are MKs should know about that conversation, though we are all free, of course, to do and to speak to the person we feel we should.
She asked me if she could take notes on our conversation. What she may not know, is that I took notes too. (Taking notes is not a crime.)
Here are my concerns:
1. Nancy admitted she had not read “all of” the blog. I ask you, what child safety officer at ABWE is not making a monitoring of this blog their full-time duty … taking notes on it … writing down names … connecting dots. I found her statement alarming.
2. She said her only job is to take down reports and document them. In other words, complaining to her about ABWE mishandling things from 1989 is probably not going to get you anywhere. She seems frustrated with the situation at ABWE (my interpretation, NOT HER WORDS, ABWE) and I do not think she has much control over their response to any of it.
3. I told her that as a former member of the Bangladesh field council and an employee of ABWE, she could not be considered an objective third-party listener or taker of reports in any way–even though she’s never met Donn Ketcham. She agreed that people must speak about abuse with someone they trust and that it would be difficult for any Bangladesh MK to trust her right now. (For this, I applaud her. Friends, she truly understands this.)
4. She said that Russ and Donn being friends was news to her. (This statement speaks for itself.)
5. I did not make any “report” to her, despite things I know, and I told her the reasons why. (See #3.)
All of which to say. Friends, I made an attempt. As my husband pointed out to me, I’d been crying out for action from ABWE all week, how could I not answer Nancy’s phone call. So I did.
So while I can tell you she seems like a kind, gentle woman who loves God and is grieved by sexual abuse, she also does not seem able to handle the scope of this terrible problem–not because she doesn’t care, but because I believe her hands are tied (again, not her statement, but my interpretation of the collection and tone of her statements, to be clear).
Make your own decisions, but I encourage you to continue to urge ABWE to allow an independent third party to investigate, and as Michael Loftis’ email seems to not be working right, keep after Tony Beckett, the director of church relations. He seems to have SOME authority there, and his email address seems to still be working. tony@abwe.org
So, it might be safe to assume that reports are being made but they are simply being alphabetized and filed away?
Hmmmmm…..sounds familiar.
Jara bangla boojtay para tomra shobhay amar kota shoono: (amar phonetics eckebaray shoondoor noy….kento doya koray amar kota poro)
Dr. ketchum’r hattay Ay shob porebar’re betay hoyachay. Kinto amaar monay taktay hobay jay jeshu tar jono morachay. Amar kan ay kota shoonay shohoj noy. Amar o beshi beta achay tar pap’r karonay. Kintoo Tar mon matro Issur janay. amray keno boli jay issur oboshoy takay koma korbay na karen tar mon teek noy. Atay meta kota!
Shobhaiy amar kota shoono. Amra shobhay jeshu’r upor beshash kori. Amra shobay bhai ebong bon. Amar mon kadtay karon eto golmal hoyachay dr. ketchum’r pap’r karon. Kento Preteeb’r shomosto lok ay blog’r kota porta para ebong amadar golmal shoona. Keno? Ay pap hoyachay pray beesh bochor agay. boro doorghotona hoyachay eckjon pap’r hatay. Kentu shoono, Amra Shobay PAPI! . jodi amra bhai ebong bon mara mari kori ke labh? Arokom pap choto noy. kentu amad’r issur pap’r chay boro.
Dr. ketchum doctor’re heshabay kaj kore. Ami shoonechi eckjon bolchay jay jodi shay misti prochonodo koro (ebong misti holo pap) “keno shay misti dockanay kaj koray?””
Amar proshno achay – aey beesh bochor’r modtay shay Americay kaj korechay. Tar chakri ay deshay. Kentu tar medical record eckono poreshkar. eck karap ghotona oh hoy ne karon ae deshar neyom bangadesh’r neyom’r chay beshey boro. Hotay paray jay Ay beesh bochor’r modtay aro mayad’r oopor karap keecho hoyechay, kento ami jani na. Ami shoonachi jay tar geerjay takay shostay deechay. Ami beshash kori jay oneck beta ebong pap hoyechay dr. ketchum’r pap’r karonay. Amar mon’r eckono beta lagay . Kinto amar Ragh shesh. Keno shesh? Tar Pap Beshi Boro! Koma shohoj noy. Kinto issur takay koma korachay beesh bochor aga. Amad’r ISSUR Pap’r chay boro. Amad’r shoba’r monay taktay hobay ae kota:
Romans 12:21 “mondar kachay hera jayo na, boron bhalo deya mondarkay joy koro.”
Translation –
[For those of you who understand Bangla, please listen to what I have to say: (My phonetics are not very good, but please read what I have to say)
All these families have been hurt by Dr. Ketcham. But I have to remember that Jesus died for him. It’s not easy for me to hear these things. I also have a lot of pain because of his sin. But only God knows his heart. Why do we say that God definitely will not forgive him because his heart isn’t right? That is a lie! Everyone listen to me. We all believe in Jesus. We are all brothers and sisters. My heart cries that there is such a mess because of Dr. Ketcham’s sin. But everyone in the world can read the words on this blog and can hear our problems. Why? This sin happened almost 20 years ago. Because of sin there has been a big incident. But listen. We are all SINNERS! If we brothers and sisters fight, what is the benefit? This is not a small sin, but our God is bigger than our sin.
Dr. Ketcham works as a doctor. I heard that one person said, “If he likes sweets” (and sweets are sin), “Why does he work in a candy store?” I have a question – He worked in America for the past 20 years. His work is in this country. But his medical record is still clean. Not one bad thing has happened because the laws of this country are more severe than the laws of Bangladesh. It’s possible that other women have had bad things happen to them in the past 20 years, but I don’t know. I have heard that his church has disciplined him. I believe that there is a lot of pain and sin has occurred because of Dr. Ketcham. My heart still hurts. But my anger is gone. Why is it gone? His sin is huge! Forgiveness isn’t easy. But God forgave him 20 years ago. Our GOD is bigger than sin. We all have to remember these words:
Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”]
Dear Papi,
I can only assume you are one of my beloved uncles from Bangladesh who has served so long and so well. I must gently suggest that your appeal for forgiveness as an end to this blog is misguided. Forgiveness is the act of the victim to give up his right of revenge, releasing the perpetrator from the debt. This is difficult, or maybe impossible, to do when the extent of the crime is unknown. For instance, pretend that I came to you with this report: Someone who hates you has stolen your ID along with your bank account numbers, your credit card account numbers and the passwords to all your stock portfolios. He has altered things in those accounts and has stolen various sums from them. Now, first things first, I want you to forgive him for everything he has done.
Would you find it easier or harder to forgive if the extent of his crimes were kept hidden? We could say “all sins are the same,” so it doesn’t matter, but I bet it would help if you knew what forgiveness was going to cost you.
Jesus said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” The perpetrator might never grasp the magnitude of his sins, but the forgiver must. I know I certainly never will grasp the magnitude of my own sins. But what enables God to forgive me is that He knows the extent of my sins precisely and prepared Christ to bear the full consequences. It wouldn’t make much sense if He had said, “Father, forgive them, for we know not what they are doing.”
Whether Don Ketcham ever repents or not, these victims deserve to know as much about the crimes committed against them (and the cover-up) as possible. This will enable forgiveness. ABWE is in a position to do this, but they want to keep things hidden.
Respectfully,
Dave DeCook
Dear Susie and all those mentioned above,
I am wracked with sorrow over what so many young girls went through in Bangladesh so many years ago because of one man’s bad choices. Yes, I do believe what Donn did was a choice not a “sickness”. I am sorry I did not know about this blog until last night, if so, I would have written sooner. After hours of reading the many notes from MK’s I know and love I was tired and felt I needed to talk to the Father, and give Him time to talk to me, about this matter before adding my two cents.
This was and continues to be a terrible memory for all that were there in Bangladesh (whether it was in 1989 or prior to that). As I write this, the memories flood back like they were yesterday….with it, the tears of sorrow for the 14 year old and her dear family that went through this horrific experience. I must say that it is because of her bravery that this abuse of young girls and women came to a halt. I applaud that bravery. What we didn’t know at the time was that years back other young girls were also abused. Susie, I am so very sorry for you years of silence. I am so glad that you could come forward, and with great strength, speak out about this incredible injustice.
At the time this happened I was very close to the family involved. I must admit I could not understand how God could allow this to happen. It was at that time that I picked up a book by Max Lucado, “In The Eye of the Storm”.
This is a quote from chapter 11,
“There is a window in your heart through which you can see God. Once upon a time that window was clear. Your view of God was crisp. You could see God as vividly as you could see a gentle valley or hillside. The glass was clean, and the pane unbroken.
You knew God. You knew how He worked. You knew what he wanted you to do. No surprises. Nothing unexpected. You knew that God had a will, and you continually discovered what it was.
Then, suddenly, the window cracked. A pebble broke the window. A pebble of pain.
Perhaps the stone struck when you were a child and a parent left home-forever. Maybe the rock hit in adolescence when your heart was broken. Maybe you made it into adulthood before the window was cracked. But then the pebble came.
Whatever the pebble’s form, the results was the same–a shattered window. The pebble missiled into the pane and shattered it. The crash echoed down the halls of your hear. Cracks shot out from the point of impact, creating a spider web of fragmented pieces.
And suddenly God was not so easy to see. The view that had been so crisp has changed. You turned to see God, and his figure was distorted. It was hard to see him through the pain. It was hard to see him through the fragments of hurt.
You were puzzled. God wouldn’t allow something like this to happen, would he? Tragedy and travesty weren’t on the agenda of the One you had seen, were they? Had you been fooled? Had you been Blind?
The moment the pebble struck, the glass became a reference point for you. From then on, there was life before the pain and life after the pain. Before your pain, the view was clear; God seemed so near. After your pain, well, he was harder to see. He seemed a bit distant…harder to perceive. Your pain distorted the view-not eclipsed it, but distorted it.”
Looking back, I felt this illustration depicted what had gone on for me and so much more for those involved. The ripple effect of Donn’s choices were far reaching. How I wished that we could all move back in time and somehow changed the events for all that were abused. Since we cannot go back, it is time for everyone to acknowledge that this happened and that things were not handled correctly. We all need to encourage those that have been mistreated unjustly and wrap our arms around them with prayer and understanding. Listening to their feelings and acknowledging these things to be true. It is through this, and God’s power, that they will heal.
Even though this was so many years ago, the scars are still visible for you and the others. I pray that through others knowing, and the support from friends, that the scar will begin to heal, at least some. Please know that I support you in your efforts.
In love,
Lynn Ruffner West
MK Teacher and friend (1981-1993)
Special Education Teacher at present
Susannah:
Susannah:
Aunt Linda and I want to let you (and the other girls who were molested and abused) know how much we love you and want you one day to be as whole and nightmare free as you can be this side of heaven. We know it must have taken tremendous courage for you to open up this public blog and share your pain. Above all we want you to be loved and comforted—knowing that you are the innocent victim. Yet you and the others have carried the heavy burden of the sins committed against you by someone you should have been able to trust. You are in our hearts always and in our prayers daily. – Uncle Dick
I haven’t posted before now, even though I’ve been reading this blog for several days. I’m not an MK and do not know any of these girls, but I grew up in one of D Ketcham’s supporting churches and heard him preach many times. I thought the world of him and was saddened when he left the mission field. But after reading the documents and these stories, I am sick, sick, sick. There is no doubt in my mind of their truth. I have prayed and shed many tears in the past few days for these precious girls who were so horribly abused by this selfish and egotistical man. They could have been my girls, because I had girls the same age at that time. When I read ABWE’s “Answers to Common Questions That Have Been Asked”, I was dumbfounded! How could they POSSIBLY think that was not a confession they had the 14 year old girl sign? Please continue to make them accountable for their actions and to admit the whole truth. To these girls I repeat what has already been said: You are not to blame, you did nothing wrong, you were the victims of an evil man who thought only of himself.
There is a need for some medical people to weigh in here. MIssionary docs, short termers, or US docs, feel free to comment. I will only comment on matters I feel are clearly out of standard and not debatable. Different docs have different opinions on lots of things. That is why we need more than me to comment here.
First, Sue James comment on breast exams, March 27: ” I always went with my girls when they had exams with any doctor. The last exam was different and I was so uncomfortable. We had a nurse in the room also. But DK went on and on about a breast exam and explained to me that he liked to explain to them what he was doing and why. I know what an exam is like and this one was so long.” My comment: Breast exams on teens, esp young teens are only done if there are symptom of a problem. Routine breast exams on teens, esp young teens are generally not done because nobody has breast cancer at that age. Teaching a young teen breast self exam generally not done for same reason. Other doctors, please comment! Agree or not? I talked to a nurse from the BD field who was there from 70’s thru 80’s. She said the breast exams on some of the teens were very prolonged, and embarrassed her, but what nurse will challenge the doctor? I feel your concerns about breast exam, esp prolonged exams, on young teens is well founded. Doctors, weigh in on this.
Next medical item: Tamara Barrick Rice’s cat scratch fever, posted March 26: “What I do remember was that DK came to our home to examine me. He asked that I remove ALL of my clothing (underwear included) so that he might check each and all lymph nodes. He instructed my mother to lay a sheet over me as I lay naked on the bed. Though the memory is a bit buzzy, as I was so sick, I seem to remember that he asked my mom to leave so I’d be less embarrassed. But I cannot confirm that, as neither of us fully remember. What I DO remember is that while he did not do anything I can specifically point to as sexual in nature, it was the most thorough examining of my lymph nodes (all of them) I’ve ever had, and it was very, very humiliating to endure as a young teenage girl.” Tamara goes on to say her oncologist exams all her nodes regularly, and it is nothing like that exam was. My comment: It is ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY for a 15 year old to remove all her clothes and to be completely naked, to examine all her lymph nodes. This can be easily done with bra and panties on. And a doctor would NEVER examine a naked teen aged girl with out her mother or a nurse or some other woman present, in case anybody wonders. Other doctors, please weigh in, am I right or wrong?
Dr. Joe DeCook
Uncle Joe. I don’t know that we’ve ever met, but of course I know your name, and I freely and willingly call you “uncle.” Your full support of my suspicion in this matter is such a relief. THANK YOU for weighing in. Thank you so much. It means the world.
Something ABWE must do is set up a method for medical personnel to report misconduct without fear of reprisal at all their medical missions. It’s called quality assurance or quality improvement. It used to be that nurses wouldn’t question a doctor, but if they are given the opportunity, they do and will!
I totally agree…but remember, there was not a safe place anywhere from the mission field of Bangladesh all the way to the very top where one could report such a concern. Some tried. They were forced to resign as a result of making such a report.
Unless there is a complete change in the administration from the top down, no one will still feel like they can “safely” make a report. And still, I wonder if people will feel safe if that staff change is made. Many will always wonder. It will take years of showing the missionaries that their reports are not only heard, but taken seriously, to prove that they are going to do right.
ABWE swept other issues such as domestic violence under the rug in another country so I find it very credible that they took more care for the donor relations than victims.
I am now a psychologist and my heart aches for all the victims, their extended families, spouses and children. This pain is very real.
Almost worse than the abuse, is the abuse by the system of not being believed.
Mary and I, who served in Chittagong during the 70s, want to express our solidarity with all the ladies who were violated. We hope and pray that each of you will find some closure through these efforts whether or not DK responds or is brought to justice.
Rise and be healed in the name of Jesus,
let faith arise in your heart.
Rise and be healed in the name of Jesus,
He will make you every witwhole.
Every ABWE missionary, past and present, needs to stand up for these gals who have suffered so much.
Joe Massey
Having read Susie’s blog and its respondents intensively for the first few days I was aware of it, I found I was unable to sleep for the deep anger I felt, and had to take a break from it for a few days. But I felt I must respond again, and composed a few thoughts for my ABWE responsible parties. I’m not sure they will read them (perhaps their inbox in pretty full), so I share them here. I might first say I am so encouraged to see the lively Spirit of God in the replies of so many of those I grew up with. Susannah, Michele, Dan G, by bro Dave, Diane, Julie, Phil, Lynda, Ricky, Charles, even those older ones like Deb and Linda (sorry…)–I am so honored to have been one of you. I tear as I read your blog posts.
to: ABWE; the President, Mr Loftis; and the ABWE Board:
I was driving my 14 yr old daughter home from ballet rehearsals the other nite. She was chattering with her three girl-buds, about boys they like, fashion stuff they thought was awful, the song on the radio (they were definitely twisting the dial and choosing the channel)—all age appropriate behavior for their age. Probably the radio had been tuned to Focus on the Family. It may even have been an interview with an author about daughters and dads, and how important that relationship is for a young girl to turn into a flowering young woman in God’s garden; how she learns from him how to be treated appropriately by a man, how she learns from her dad how it is that God values and loves her, as he patterns it.
And it struck me, that perhaps that is why I am so incensed when I read thru the recent blog on the internet that has drawn so much attention amongst the ABWE family recently. And why I feel compelled to write.
You could argue that I don’t have a dog in this fight, that I am not among the aggrieved, that this is actually a business between God and Donn and you and the victims (thank God you never identified them as the “alleged victims”), that my noting this struggle and commenting on it is actually inappropriate and perhaps akin to gossip-mongering or voyeurism.
And I would say, in 2002, I would have agreed with you. In fact, when I attended the MK reunion in 2002, the first time I was even a little aware such an awful mess existed, I was aware at almost the same time that it was being worked on, that it was being “fixed”. Good people were involved, trustworthy people. Wounded women (some still girls, really) were being allowed to vent; prayers for healing and forgiveness were being prayed, and assurances were given that safeguards were being instituted to be sure that this would never again happen (whatever “this” was–it was never really disclosed.) Trust issues were invoked (you need to trust us–we ARE dealing with “it”); privacy issues were invoked (this is too private to really talk about, too embarrassing, it might hurt the victims). Counseling offers were made (and accepted) by at least some of the girls/women to “help them get past this event.” All this seemed plausible, believable, and quite likely mostly true. In good conscience, then, I thought, I mostly forgot about it. After all, I was only indirectly involved, as a member of the mission family of BD MK’s.
And yet, as this blog has spoken, it seems clear that wrongs weren’t righted, at least not all wrongs; and most significantly, perhaps it was the wrongest wrongs that were not righted. And, it seems, it is a righting of these wrongs that is the common thread of the crying out in these many peoples’ comments.
That Donn was serially immoral (and perhaps should have been dismissed from the field several decades earlier) is beyond question. That he was persistently, serially, sexually inappropriate with minor children (we have a phrase for that today–”criminal sexual conduct”–perhaps it didn’t exist in common use then) now also seems unquestionable. That he may have been abetted by the use of a chemical dysphorient such as Ketamine, at least in some of the occasions, seems increasingly probable (adding to the criminality of his actions.) That he was then so emboldened that he carried on a long term, sexual (with or without penetration it was sexual, even if Bill Clinton publically has argued that sex without penetration ain’t really sex), utterly inappropriate relationship with a 14 yr old girl is documented by your own (ABWE) records to that fact.
The unknown to me, apparently the great unknown to nearly everyone else with a peripheral but compelling interest in “this” event, the unkown-ness of which is so infuriating to those who did know the details, was the utterly inadequate and inappropriate way ABWE officially handled this last event (and by extension, possibly the inadequate way it handled all the related events.)
That a fourteen year old girls was interviewed, and compelled to recount, then sign as a confession, a list of her liasons with a 54 yr old man, and the various sexual activities they engaged in, is nearly incomprehensible. That the same man was allowed to sign a confession describing how tormented he was by the sickness within, portraying himself very nearly as a victim, is in fact very naive. That he described himself as “no longer guilty, but still in sorrow and awaiting God’s peace,” when it is now clear that he was lying lying lying about other past events, highlights the depth of that naivete. That Dr. Ebersole described him with some sentimentality as a “beloved brother (that has) fallen”, (as if perhaps the young girl was a Philistine archer who had brought him down on Mt Gilboa,) shows an appalling lack of perspective over what was dangerous criminal behavior (as well as sin,) and should have been reported explicitly and acted on immediately. While the “great burden” that Donn and his dear wife carried are referenced, there is not a word, not a breath, about the victim. (“prayers on their behalf during this very difficult time in their lives”? Really?! Their difficult time?! Really?!) That this is the story ABWE stuck with, and passed on to the churches (as well as others in the more immediate, and more extended ABWE family), for the next 13 yrs, is unthinkable, appalling even. And it is this, I think that is at the crux of this crying out of the victims to ABWE.
We are well past Dr. Donn confessing to each victim, asking forgiveness, making restitution. I doubt even he knows the truth any longer, so long has he been telling lies to you, to his beloved wife, to any colleagues who confronted him, even to himself. I don’t see him owning up to the truth anywhere this side of eternity.
But ABWE is in a position to make amends, for its witting or unwitting complicity in this crime, for its failing in its due diligence, in its fiduciary duty to those wronged MK’s/girls/women whom Donn preyed upon. They failed to fully contront Donn. They failed to name a sin explicitly (albeit a very ugly sin), allowing him to cower behind a sham of “I disqualified myself a la I Tim 3:16.” They failed to make a public discredit of him. They failed to give those vicitims the dignity of believing them. They may have failed adequately to protect others from his predatory ways. All this you can attempt to make right.
Listen, a child died that day, that day that she signed a confession, as Donn moved on into his next phase of “no more guilt, awaiting the peace and the lifting of the sorrow.” Oh, her body survived (and by all accounts, moved on thru adolescence and young adulthood in some form of shock, making mistakes and bringing further sorrow and death on herself–certainly that has been the pattern with some of his other victims). But really, her soul died that day; and her blood cries out from the ground for redress. The broken hearts, the souls, of those other victims cry out as well.
Listen, when the tormented, the widow and the orphan (and, I would judge, the inadequately protected, sexually molested minor) cries out to God, “Za’kheh”, He promises He will certainly hear them. And insofar as it regarded Israel, His people (whom He rightly expected to obey him), He promised, “My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless” if you are the causative agent of that crying out.
I believe this is an unredressed offense for ABWE to amend, an unconfessed sin, even; and an evil not fully repented of. I believe God cannot and will not be able to bless ABWE as He would like to, and in particular its goals and efforts in Bangladesh, until this great evil is more completely dealt with. At this moment, God has allowed a public utility (of all things, the Bangladesh National Railroad) to begin cleaving the Memorial Christian Hospital area in half. It is perhaps ironically symbolic of the way this affair with Donn Ketcham has cleaved in half the lives of these victims, the way it has cleaved in half the missionary family involved, the way it may even have cleaved in half the unity and purpose of the Bengali believers (who are surely aware of Donn’s hidden and open sins.) They cannot be forgotten either, and they are as surely looking to see what ABWE’s response is.
The victims are looking for that response; the extended ABWE family is looking for that response; even the watching secular world (well beyond WoodTV8) is looking for that response (it is quite clear in today’s world among the unregenerate that there are still some things for which there is zero tolerance, and this is one of those.)
And God is surely looking for that response.
A posted aopolgy is really only good enough for the peripherally involved. A personal letter apology is probably sufficient for the extended ABWE family and the churches who were more or less bamboozled by the vague and misleading language both you and Donn used in addressing his actions previously.
But for those victims directly of the Dr’s predatory sexual behavior, only a personal (in person) apology to those wounded seems appropriate. Perhaps a high ranking board member or two and the president or vice-president of ABWE. I wouldn’t waste any time lining up those flights and getting on a plane to at least 8 different locations in this country.
The apology should acknowledge their loss of innocence, the death of that child heart they probably possessed before Donn raped them of it, the permanent and abiding loss they are likely to feel their whole life.
The apology should include ABWE’s responsibility for Donn directly, as his employer/supervisor during the time he was a missionary, with an enormous expression of remorse for ABWE’s handling of him.
It should also include acknowledgement of the harm they may have suffered as a result of having been little-believed when these things were brought up at different times, for the way in which that lack of belief and lack of vocal, forceful public support from ABWE has impeded their desire and efforts to heal their wounds.
And that apology should specifically reference the great harm ABWE has probably caused that final 14 yr old victim, in allowing her to spend her adolescence and young adult life believing she was cause of the fall of a great missionary man. This latter, is, I think, the most eggregious of ABWE’s faults in this matter.
And finally, this apology should include an offer of restitution, by any practical means necessary. I don’t think this is necessarily money (and i don’t believe there is very much to go around, in any case,) but certainly involves the offer of reasonable free counseling, for nearly any reaonable length of time necessary.
I believe then, and only then, will God allow this great cloud to go away from ABWE, and from the lives of these victims; and allow the ministry to proceed unhindered.
The ball is in your court. The opportunity is yours. I pray you sieze it.
Respectully,
Daniel J DeCook, MD
Holland, MI
Job 16:18ff:
“My face is red with weeping, deep shadows ring my eyes;
yet my hands have been free of violence, and my prayer is pure:
“Oh earth, do not cover my blood;
may my cry never be laid to rest!
“Even now my Witness is in heaven;
my Advocate is on high.
“My Intercessor is my Friend
as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man He pleads with God
as a man pleads for his friend.”
Dan, thank you so much for your response. It made me cry reading it. What you said is exactly true and we will wait to see what ABWE decides to do about this mess.
Dan, Thank you for writing this. I have a 16 year old daughter and shutter when I think back to the time this all happened in “89. I remember the victim and her family being in shock. They were encouraged to forgive. They were the picture of forgiving. Yet as the pain began to sink in there was no one on the field to really help them through this. We had never been through such a thing before…..at least not while I was there. While Donn went home to build a life, they were left to sort theirs out. At the time none of us understood the magnitude.
God help us! I am so sorry!
Well said.
I must add my plea to ABWE. You tried to respond to common questions on your public forum. However your answers, as sincere as you tried to be (I give you the benefit of a doubt because I want to believe you were trying to do right) you failed and brought embarrassment on your organization. At the very least, due to ignorance, at most, the desire to save face. Therefore I humbly request you no longer post a public comment like that without running it by the main parties involved (victims and their families who are their voice when they don’t have the strength). However, it seems such conversations directly will not go well due to the lack of trust and your poor track record with them so far…, such conversations will not go well. It seems to me a third party is needed. You (ABWE) failed in-house so please stop coming up with solutions in-house because so far they are inadequate and further embarras the mission and the testimony of Christians as a whole. if you don’t want it to be G.R.A.C.E. then suggest another. But I suggest go with who the victims trust.
For the sake of my fellow MK family, for the sake of the name of Christ, please humble yourself and consider a third party. PLEASE.
Respectably submitted,
A fellow believer and MK (sorry, I cannot use my name. If I could, I would)
Dan, well said. They do owe them this and so much more. I believe if they were to give them free counseling that the victims may be able to choose who they counsel with, however. I would say that they cannot trust ABWE any more to have to be put under their counselors. They must be able to decide who they prefer. As far as the apologies…yes, yes,yes. Long over due! I am a sister of the 14 yr old girl that is talked of here. I have seen her go through counseling and trying to get help. She has to feel in control of this and I am sure the other victims feel the same way too. Thanks for sending this to ABWE. Once again the ball is in their court. Lets see what they do this time!
Apologize is not the word and totally inadequate. We don’t apologize to God for our sin and receive redemption. We confess our sin. What is needed is a request for forgiveness! I prepare my own material for my adult Sunday School class. This is how I addressed the subject.
A proper request for forgiveness
It must identify the occasion, the offense and the Biblical basis for the error in judgement
It must require a response from the party offended
Where necessary it must make the person “whole”
When concrete that must be restored if possible
If intangible such as slander, lies, et. al. there is a serious problem of how to make one “whole”
The formula for forgiveness
The Lord has convinced me that I sinned when I _______________ will you forgive me when I _________?
By stating “The Lord has convinced me” identifies a biblical principle violated
By stating “I sinned when” I identifies the situation
By requesting “Will you forgive me” awaits a response
Sin needs no apology it needs forgiveness. It’s not an apology but a request for forgiveness — before God first and offended parties.
RHS
In Reply to Dr. Richard H. Sterkenburg’s Comments on Forgiveness:
I feel like I have been taught a bit of a different idea when it comes to forgiveness. I was always taught that forgiveness is not something that is given in response to a confession, an apology, or anything else done by the offender. I was always taught that forgiveness is something we give immediately after some wrong is done to us. We do this for our benefit to protect ourselves. By immediately forgiving all offenses, bitterness is not allowed to grow inside of us. It is kind of like a rotten apple in a barrel which when allowed to stay in the barrel rots the entire barrel. Without trying to sound to simple, the apple is the bitterness and the barrel is our heart. This puts the person who has been offended in charge of his/her own heart. I do not have to wait for someone to confess or ask for forgiveness before I clear it in my heart and mind. The person who needs to ask for forgiveness or confess a wrong has his/her own problem with which to deal. It is not my problem to deal with their heart. This is the idea of forgiveness in my mind. It may be theologically flawed in some ways but it has always worked for me. And, I do have an example of this in the way Jesus forgave the men who put Him on the cross before they ever confessed it or asked for forgiveness. HOWEVER, the idea of forgiveness in my mind is very different from the idea of JUSTICE. It seems in the case that we are referring to on this blog that a lack of justice is the problem. Forgiveness, in my opinion, should have started right after the sin was committed or became known. It seems to me the problem here was that justice was not at the time of the crime or even now realized or obtained. According to Webster justice is “the maintenance or administration of what is just, especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments.” Just because something is forgiven does not mean that it is excused or forgotten. Justice should have taken this horrible man before the law either in the States or in Bangladesh where he should have had to pay the consequences for his crime. This was not just a matter of sin against God, it was a criminal act against society. Justice was never realized, and for this I think the problem has grown into this horrible mess we have now. God created man with a sense of justice. We must see justice occur. Our minds and hearts are not settled when we do not see justice realized in a situation. That is why movies which do not end with the bad guy getting it in the end are so disturbing and unsettling to our minds. To sleep well or have peace of mind, we need to see the bad guy get what he deserves in the end. This is not because we are wicked, unforgiving sinners, but because we are created in God’s image with the need to see justice take place. Without our God given need for justice, society breaks down and things do not run correctly. We are all now witness to a terrible case of mishandled justice. A man who should have been brought very low was allowed to walk around as if he had done no wrong, while his abused victims were never allowed to see justice take place. Their God created sense of justice has been turned upside down. Things can not work like this. JUSTICE and FORGIVENESS must both take place in order for this horrible situation to come to an end. What we need to figure out is what justice needs to take place and do it. I don’t think that forgiveness is the problem. I think that these wounded ladies and their families can forgive all they want, but until justice takes place their lives will never have a peace because God created us with an innate sense and need for justice. What justice can take place at this late date? We need to find the answer to this one question and DO IT!
Um, I have a problem with this. What if the person asks me to forgive them and I don’t want to? Or I’m not ready? It changes the tables. They’ve “done their part” and if I don’t forgive, now I’m the sinner and they’re the victim? WRONG! It is another way to victimize a person. It is another way to force your will on someone. And good little christian boys and girls as we were raised will of course grant forgiveness because that’s what God wants, right?
I suppose it is a way we interpret words, but I would rather have an apology than someone ask me to do something. I am forced into a response with a request for forgiveness. With an apology I can listen and go my way, taking my time to think, to evaluate the sincerity of the apology. Forgiveness then, if it comes, is my choice and not forced on me by another.
In reply to Dr. Dan DeCook(one of the mks I grew up with in Bangladesh)
Thank you so much, Dan, for being willing to stand up for the victims and make such strong statements. Every man who writes in to defend us feels like a knight in shining armor to me who has picked up his sword and shield and said”STOP! You will not hurt her any longer!” It makes me cry. So thank you to all the men out there who have written in to defend us. I am equally grateful to the women, but in a different way.
Susannah Beals Baker
Hi Susannah,
Thank you for your courage to launch this forum. I am so sorry to learn of the abuse that you and so many others suffered at the hands of Donn Ketcham, and have continued to suffer in silence as a result of ABWE’s deception and negligence.
After my first pass through the blog Thursday night, my head was clouded with thoughts on Friday morning when I realized the noise I heard in the background was Eli (6 yr old) happily singing to himself “Father I adore you, lay my life before you, how I love you.” It is not everday that he wakes up singing Sunday School songs, and I knew that God was reminding me that He is able to bind up the wounds and care for those who are hurting – in ways I can’t even ask or imagine.
It was enlightening to see on the New Tribes Mission website that they are working changes into their organization under the guidance of GRACE. I pray that ABWE will see that they are not capable of achieving a satisfactory outcome on their own, and that they will seek an appropriate outside party to come in and work with them.
I want to say thanks to all who are contributing with encouragement, kindness, wise words, and a steadfast commitment to confront evil and root it out. It must be done! As I read the additional entries each day, it feels Biblical (can’t think of a better way to put that) – as though we were watching the book of Job being written out in real time before our eyes. And that gives me great hope – as I know how that book ends.
Regardless what Uncle Donn and ABWE each decide to to with the issues confronting them – you bring honor to God by your commitment to stand up for what is right and to not be silenced. May God renew your strength and hope each day.
Steve DeCook
I have hesitated to write anything here. I am not a MK, have never been to Bangladesh. My connection to this is through a college friendship with both Deb and Tam. But I am compelled to voice my most passionate support of these brave women who have gone contrary to every impulse to go with the easy route of silence to bring a guilty man into account.
My interest in this lies in the fact that I am the mother of 6 children. I have 3 girls and 3 boys. A year and a half ago we discovered that my father-in-law, aged 71 at the time, was abusing all three of my girls and had been for years. He is currently serving a life sentence in a state prison for the things he did to my girls during a 3 days visit to their home.
This man claimed (and continues to claim) that he is a Christian. He had been a member of a solid bible teaching church for over 25 years. Yet in spite of his claims he blames my girls, saying that my daughters, at the time ages 6, 9 and 11, seduced him. He still does not acknowledge that he is a pedophile, even though we have discovered that his abuse of female family members dates back to at least 1960. And the abuse he visited upon my daughters usually happened with a house full of adults. At the time that he was discovered there were 5 adults in the house. It takes precious few seconds to victimize a child.
All this to say, I do not know Dr. Ketcham (thankfully). I do know that men who indulge this sin fit a pattern. I would be shocked if he has not steadily abused children over the last 20 years (his advanced age is not a factor, trust me). The ABWE must stop using of the passive language that was present in their initial statement and recognize that although mistakes were made that they share a huge share of culpability in releasing a pedophile into unwitting churches and a medical practice. I am praying, along with the rest of you, that they will enthusiastically invite a third part examination of this blunder.
I have wept for you sisters in Christ whom I have never met. I am sorry for your pain. It was wrong. It was unjust. It should never have happened. May God’s grace and mercy fall on you in amazing ways.
Thanks, Amy. Love you, and still grieving over hearing about your family’s pain.
Dear Bangladesh Family,
Janice and I are writing on this blog to make known our love and support for those who are victims of this sin and for their families and friends. We are praying for all of them and asking God to heal their wounds.
We call on those in positions of authority in ABWE to courageously acknowledge the whole truth and take decisive action to vindicate the victims and to protect the vulnerable. ABWE’s most recent statements (3/23 and 3/26) do not match the testimony of the documents, of the victims and their families nor that of DK’s former pastor at Newhall Baptist Church. We heartily agree with what Dr. Dan DeCook posted on 3/28 regarding the nature of the wrongs done and the actions ABWE needs to take.
All of us in the Bangladesh family have suffered the effects of this sin in our lives and in our missionary careers. We were appalled to find out that this great evil touched MKs we met during our first short term in Bangladesh and then reached to those who were dear friends during our later full-time service as ABWE missionaries in Bangladesh. We wish we could do more than to tell you that we care and that we are praying, but we are thankful that there is One who can do more than we can ask or imagine.
Held In HIS Wounded Hands,
Dr. Bob and Janice Goddard
Greg Ferguson’s song “Peacemaker” says so much…
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/g/greg_ferguson/peace_maker.html ] Peacemaker, Fear Taker, Soul Soother, Storm Smoother
Light Shiner, Lost Finder, Cloud Lifter, Deliverer,
Heart Toucher, Truth Lover,
Who other could be Fear Taker, Peacemaker to me,
Mind Clearer, Sigh Healer, Hand Holder, Consoler,
Wound Binder, Tear Dryer, Strength Giver, Provider,
Heart Healer, Kind Father,
Who other could be, My Savior, Peacemaker to me,
Let Your Peace Rule in my heart,
Let Your kindness fill my thoughts,
Let Your strength secure my soul,
Let Your peace take hold in me,
Let Your Wisdom guide my will,
Your compassion fill this place,
Let my anxious thoughts be still,
Let Your peace rule in my Heart…
I’m an MK whose parents were with ABWE for over 35 years. While I didn’t grow up in Bangladesh, I feel like any MK is part of my family.
I’m so sad and sick by all that I have read on this blog for the last few days. To my MK “sisters” who were abused, I stand in full support of you. You are beautiful women, children of a mighty God, courageous, lovely! I pray that healing can begin on some level for you now.
I have been so angry at the ways that ABWE “handled” these crimes. While all that I’ve heard has been disappointing and tragic, I am MOST upset by the knowledge that these dear families were told to keep silent about that matter. WHAT??? I just cannot even imagine. That was ABUSE! To ask families that were suffering so greatly over a pedophile’s destruction to be quiet?? I weep over the image that moms and dads, sisters and brothers were kept from doing what would have helped the most, what family is all about. TRAGIC!!
I too am waiting for more response from ABWE in this matter. Please, do not sweep more stories, pain and lies under the carpet.
The silence is deafening from both Donn Ketcham and ABWE.
It does not take hours and days of meetings with lawyers and board members to simply humble yourselves and repent of your wickedness. “if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” – 2 Chronicles 7:14 ESV
Humility is the first step in seeking forgiveness. Donn and ABWE (Michael Loftis), here are the simple steps you must take when you decide to humble yourselves and seek the forgiveness of these women, families, ministries, as well as the state of Michigan. These principles are found in the little book of Philemon where Paul ( a third party) seeks to help Onesimus be restored to Philemon.
1.) Look sincerely at this situation from the victim’s point of view.
2.) Take full responsibility for your actions and lack of action.
3.) Humbly and fully state your repentance.
4.) Humbly and fully demonstrate your repentance.
5.) Humbly and fully defer to the victim’s leadership on a resolution.
6.)Humbly and sincerely offer to make full restitution, WHATEVER that may be.
We have yet to hear from Donn Ketcham. However, ABWE (Michal Loftis), what we have heard from you has not been humble, repentant, nor has it been even remotely biblical. You know it. We know it. God knows it.
You have a responsibility before God and His people to seek forgiveness.
“So Moses and Aaron went in to Pharaoh and said to him, “Thus says the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, ‘How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, that they may serve me.” – Exodus 10:3 ESV
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
Louisville, Colorado
I want to offer support for all the victims (survivors I prefer) and their extended families as they continue to deal with this after decades. If the mission had taken this seriously at the beginning, healing would be much further along.
I have been following your blog since Friday (when read the email ABWE sent out). Thank you for being so brave. It’s hard enough to stand in a world that is so lost, but sometimes the hardest place to stand is against other Christians. How harsh and unkind we can be to one another.
It sounds like so many of us have lost sleep this weekend.. Struggling with Anger, and confusion. Struggling with trust in an organization. Your story has touched our entire family. For many years, we were apart of the ABWE family as well, but stationed in the Philippines. ABWE was kind of an identity for MKs. Now as an adult.. I look back and see the blessings.. and unfortunately the imperfections. It’s strange, because in the last few days I have been going back over my life in the mission field like a fast slide show. Thinking.. You start wondering, if they covered up something like this.. then what else was there. What other lies were told? I feel so unsettled now about my growing up in ABWE. A lie this big…a cover-up this big.. can only lead to one cover-up after another. For the fear of being found out..would catapult anyone into a furry of lies to protect oneself or in this case a Mission protecting itself. (Sounds like Politics)
My family was close with many that you have named. And it saddens my heart.
ABWE has covered sin. They have admitted as much. The Bible is so clear about this very topic. I know years ago my father on different occasions attempted to communicate concerns and such with the mission board regarding things on the field. And he was shut down and told to shut up. Don’t ruffle feathers. Leave the sin covering to the Top.
I truly pray and hope that through even the worst of what has happened and what is to come, that God will be glorified.
I realize we may never truly know how many life’s have been affected by the sin of one man, and the cover-up of a Mission- I shutter to think. But God knows. Please know that so many are standing with you and praying for you and for the others.
Luncheon guest speaker for The Prime Timers Ministry at Grandville Baptist Church in Grandville, MI for this month of March? – Dr. Donn Ketchum. I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and guess that they just haven’t gotten the memo yet.
DK did NOT speak at this function.
Okay. Thanks for the clarification. I had seen it on their events calendar.
Dear Bangladesh MK’s and followers of this blog:
I have not posted to this blog yet because I was trying to get up to speed with all that has been posted and finding that impossible with my schedule lately. I’m also trying to process the enormity of the pain, deception, and hurt from all that has occurred over these past 22 years so as to give proper voice to this post. However, my son reminded me, lovingly, that in a situation such as this, the words of an enemy often hurt far less than the silence of friends. There has already been an abundance of hurt and I don’t want to contribute to any more. Our family came to Bangladesh in 1988 to serve and minister to MK’s and their families and this tragedy coupled with the clumsy way it was handled and mishandled during these past 22 years begs to be made right. As much as is humanly possible, it must be made right. Until I can more completely respond to all that has and is being posted, please know, dear MK’s and family members and loved ones, that our family supports your courage as you strive for healing and for truth to triumph. God clearly wants each of you to flourish as do I. This is both my plea and my prayer. As difficult as it is to see exactly how this can occur in light of all that has happened, we pray that God’s name may received glory “on earth just as in heaven” and that all can experience healing. We serve a great God who can do abundantly more than we ask or think!
Steve Tower
I’m weeping today. I’m weeping because of the pain and hurt in the words I have read. I’m weeping for the victims and their families and friends whose pain has not been treated with true compassion or justice. I’m weeping because I thought I knew what happened, but I didn’t. I’m weeping because… “if only…”. I’m weeping because of broken relationships. I’m weeping for our Bangladesh ABWE family and national believers. I’m weeping for ABWE. Surely God is weeping too.
O God, I don’t know all that happened, but you do. I pray that you will bring comfort and peace and resolution and joy to all who are suffering hurt and pain. I pray that you will bring conviction to all who have sinned so that they respond with a truly repentant spirit . I pray for you to do a miracle and restore relationships that seem almost impossible to restore right now. O Lord, I pray that you will glorify your name. Show the world that you are a God who performs miracles. I love you, and I love your hurting people and I pray for them.
In the name of Jesus and for his glory, Amen.
Perhaps I should wait until I could make a more measured, well-thought out response. But, Susannah, Jim and I want you to know NOW how devastated we were as we sat together last night and read this blog (finishing this morning.) Words…usually I have them in over-abundance. Today…. Our memories embraced times we have shared with you and your family over the years. Never would we have imagined when you were with us in the Philippines that you had, or would, face such horrifying experiences. We physically ache to learn of the burden you have carried all of these years. Susannah, we are so very, very sorry. Our sorrow reaches each little girl, now become women, who shared in such an awful bond of silence.
Our whole lives have been spent loving and serving with ABWE. Now we pray that this festering, sickening cancer will be completely excised. We are so grateful that God gave you the courage to expose this ugliness. Your beautiful spirit is evident throughout.
I have read all of the comments, the questions and their answers and the supporting documents. I wanted to quit, but I owed you and all of those touched in any way by this, to listen to every word. I was so grieved to read the “confession” by a child whose name I do not know. I want her to know that we see a “confession”, by any other name or for any other stated purpose, still a “confession”. Confession came from the victim rather than the perpetrator. Wretched! Dear little girl, now young woman, may God grant true repentance to the one/ones who so wronged you and grant you healing. Susannah, BLESS you – from two who have always felt it the highest honor and position of trust to be an ABWE uncle and aunt.
Jim West
I am a retired missionary of forty-four years experience – twenty-two of which were with ABWE. My heart goes out to all the women who were molested by DK while still children in BD. My prayer is that God will bring healing to these who have suffered for so long from not only the pain of being robbed of their innocence, but from the frustration and hurt that have resulted from seeing justice poorly served on their perpetrator by their own mission agency, whose duty it was to protect them.
I am saddened to know that the administration that guided the Mission during that tragic episode seems to have resorted to lies, half-truths, and deceit in seeking to “protect” ABWE. So often, such failures are motivated by the thought that full disclosure would lead to loss of respect and to loss of income for the organization. From my own experience, I know that ABWE is not alone in covering up distasteful history. Now that it has been discovered, the integrity of ABWE is now more threatened than it ever would have been.
It seems that the attempts that have been made to address this problem have been half-hearted and woefully late. When these things occur in the secular world to the embarrassment of government and corporations, the questions that are usually asked are the following: (1) who knew? (2) when did they know? and (3) what did they do? These questions might be enlightening in this situation as well.
When the dismissal of DK occurred, which members of the administration and Board were knowledgeable and agreeably involved in how it was handled? Did anyone object to the decision which was made to cover up the real reasons for his dismissal? The names of those individuals should be revealed. We only hear about Russ Ebersole, but are we to believe that he acted on his own? That would seem doubtful, given the team concept of administration that ABWE follows.
The “new” administration, i.e., under Dr. Loftis’ and his team’s leadership, had the facts on this situation exactly when? Was it before they were made aware that this blog was being launched?
Who of this current administration decided to leave “sleeping dogs lie”? Who counseled that the truth should be told even when it might be embarrassing to some?
Some of the previous administration are now with the Lord. The blot will be on their names, despite the fact that in every other way they performed admirably. Some, however, yet remain from that period as leaders in the Home Office and on the Board. What course should they follow?
It seems that the best approach to dealing with the damage done to innocent children, and to undoubtedly other children who have been abused back in the States, and to everyone who now knows of the serious failure in leadership, and to the failure to take responsible legal action might be to “clear the deck.” All those who have had any part in making the original decision to cover up the crime and lie even to DK’s home-church pastor, and any who have more recently agreed to be a part of that cover-up would serve the Mission well by accepting blame and stepping down from their posts, and that should include Board Members who colluded with the decision. Such a move would go a long way to saying to the public that ABWE intends to remain accountable to the churches and to the missionaries and their families. It might cause a blip on the screen of ABWE’s operation to have a caretaker administration for a brief period, but it would go a long way to healing the wounded parties and re-establishing ABWE’s credibility. In the world it’s called a “shake-up,” and sometimes it can be a very healthy exercise, even though it is temporarily painful.
All of us who have served with ABWE or who are currently serving have great appreciation for the role of the organization in our lives and ministries. We highly regard the many in our Home Office who have sacrificially served us and made our ministries easier and more successful. We must, however, hold each other to the same high standard.
Proverbs 28:13 “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”
Michael G. Loftis: Would you like to field these questions?
Jim West has expressed exactly what I have been thinking while reading this blog – and much more succinctly than I could have! My family and I currently serve with ABWE and are deeply, deeply disturbed by what we have read on this blog. We will be watching closely to see how the current administration handles this situation. We already feel as though we have been tainted in some way seeing as we bear the ABWE name. Jim’s questions need to be answered! A “shake up” sounds like an excellent idea! May those who were involved in the cover up respond with courage and transparency. God will grant mercy. May those who are in leadership now (and who probably already knew about this!?!?!?) take every measure possible to set the record straight on DK. May God grant that this revelation of truth set the victims completely free!!!! And may God bring to light anything else that is being hidden right now – for the sake of His name.
Maranatha!!!!!!!
I will attempt to organize my thoughts and respond, as requested, from a pediatrician’s standpoint on the topic of inappropriate physical exams.
I never have my female patients undress for a physical. It is very feasible to give a reasonably thorough physical working around clothing. I do not do routine breast or genital exams on the older female patients. Some practitioners might argue for a more thorough approach, but at the very least it is unthinkable to propose this without a chaperone fully present in the room.
I can remember only one invasive pelvic exam on a teen in my entire career, and that was the case of the missing tampon after a jetskiing incident one of our fine Michigan summers. (Hope this is not too graphic)
My wife Nancy and I lay awake last night asking each other how so many people who knew at least part of the story from 1989 could remain silent for so long. I can only reason that it was because DK’s confession of child abuse was spun into something less tangible and more mysterious, and the responsibility for that falls squarely with those who confronted him. ABWE needs to submit to a third party investigation.
Dr. Dan D., my brother and colleague, I am so proud of you for encapsulating our thoughts and expressing them so well. Pastor Dave D., my brother and classmate, that goes for you too. All of you MK’s who have taken a stand–thank you, blessings, I believe that God will be honored in speaking the truth to the world, as ugly as it may be.
As one of the original MKs in Bangladesh who has many memories, the majority of which are very good, I am deeply saddened by what I am certain is the truth. I, too, wanted to comment earlier, but have been mulling through a number of thoughts and emotions and as others have expressed questioning the value of anything I might add that helps the real victims. The short answer, I think, is just to be counted and to stand up for and with you (abuse victims) and to thank you for your courage to speak out. The Lord has been helping me to learn to be more compassionate the past couple of weeks regarding the truth of abuse. My wife, Deb, has lovingly helped me to understand that I could not understand. I know that seems counterintuitive, but I realize now that unless one has gone through some life-changing experience, we cannot really speak for or understand the pain that is being expressed by so many. Yes, we can acknowledge the events that happened and we see the results, but we cannot really understand the depths of pain that has been inflicted on those who had their innocence robbed from them at such young, impressionable ages. I must confess that I had thought that those who had been abused just needed to forgive Don Ketcham and to turn the burden over to the Lord for Him to carry. That would in no way exonerate DK, but would free the victims to move on with their lives. I realize that that is too simplistic an answer even if it is a part of the healing process. It falls far short. I believe that anything short of complete transparency and accounting by all those who were involved in this “mishandled” nightmare would rob God of a major victory for all of us. I’m thankful for progress and what the Lord has already done, but I believe that this could be so much more when it is all said and done.
I also want to add my recollections and interpretation of our unique “family” arrangement. I have been blessed and thankful for the comments already posted by fellow MKers-many sharing similar thoughts so this is nothing new. My memories go back to Hebron, Chittagong and, of course, Malumghat. We (MKs) had been raised in BD as part of an extended ABWE “family” and as such we had been instructed and taught to be respectful and address “family” adults as “Uncle” or “Aunt” and had complete trust in them as members of our “family”. I recall many happy experiences while growing up there with other MKs and their families including a lot of time spent with the Ketchams. I also recall now a few experiences that are troubling. As an adult, knowing what I know now, I would call them red flags. I am also aware that I knew too much too soon. It would seem logical that in our protected environment we would have had little knowledge of and exposure to the “birds and the bees”, but that was not so. Our “safe” environment was not that for many of our “sisters”, including my own. The revulsion and sadness that too many are experiencing and expressing is evidence of betrayed trust by one who preyed on them while so vulnerable. I can’t imagine how anyone can so callously take advantage of little ones who deserved just the opposite. I have been blessed by the Lord to have several daughters and granddaughters. Looking into their trusting faces, I am reminded of the awesome responsibility, we, fathers have. God has entrusted us to not only provide for them and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but to be the earthly representation of our Heavenly Father. I know that I have failed in many respects, but thank God He has not and will not ever betray our trust.
One other aspect I think many of us are struggling with is in trying to understand how any one person can be capable of good and evil to this degree? I know “but for the grace of God” any one of us are capable of many things, but it is still difficult to process. Jeremiah 17:9 says the “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” I think that when evaluating everything that was done, the decisions that were made, and what should be done, we need to keep God’s perspective in mind and not that of man’s. Isaiah 64:6 tells us what God thinks of “our” righteousness: “For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment…”
I want you to know-all of you who are and have suffered all these years-we are supporting you 100% and will be praying for your healing and the answers that will ultimately give God the glory and not to any individual or man-made institution. I know there are many who have served faithfully and have honored the Lord and I am thankful for you. God has richly blessed His word and the ministry of many, but one wonders what lessons have been learned by those “we” have sought to liberate from darkness and to have the “truth” that sets them free?
I have read the posts and comments on this blog and my heart goes out to the women who suffered indescribable pain from one man’s selfish addiction. When I was young, I also was the victim of a member of the church who choose to make a foolish decision and forever scar my life. But I am so thankful that God allowed me to see that despite the terrible events of my past, I could move forward, solely looking to Him even when “justice” for me was no where and never has been something I have seen. I know that the only true justice that will ever matter is when the person who committed that sin will stand before Christ and be held accountable. There is no earthly justice that could ever compare.
But I do have some questions and please do not take them to be disrespectful to the situation at all! I can see that everyone involved with this incident, including ABWE, would have liked the situation to have been handled more appropriately. I cannot make excuses for either side because I was not part of the events.
I have seen God’s work be done by ABWE around the world. I hope that despite the many “emotional” responses by some who are allowing anger to alter the entire work of ABWE, we do not forgot that God has used ABWE in so many people’s lives to further the gospel. I have read ABWE’s responses to the incidents and from what I read, is seems they are trying to make-up for any past wrongs.
I do not understand exactly what the victims in this situation are looking for. I see that people keep referencing GRACE being involved and I do not know what their role would be. Again, absolutely no disrespect, I am really trying to understand. Seeing as though the people originally involved in this incident are probably not with ABWE any longer (I know Dr. Kempton, previous president of ABWE, is now with the Lord) are you looking for someone to be fired? Or with GRACE involved, are you looking for a monetary settlement? I do see that ABWE has already adopted a child protection policy prior to this Blog being started, so something similar to this tragedy will never happen again.
Again, I am not trying to make excuses for anyone. Coming from someone who has also suffered many years ago, I do not understand what can be gained so far after the incident, that ABWE isn’t already doing. I could not go back to the church I was abused in when I was young and expect the new leadership to bring justice. I do pray that it is not the intention of those that have commented on this blog to destroy ABWE and the lives ABWE are effecting today. At this point, the incidents are between the abuser and God. Of course, in a perfect world, all abused children would have earthly justice, but again, I rest in God’s justice alone.
Thank you for reading!
As former ABWE’rs we like many have spent the last several days reading the stories and thoughts of some incredibly brave women. As the father of five daughters I have been outraged at what DK did but sickened to the core of my soul with the enormity of ABWE’s part in all of this. It has been nearly impossible since we have begun following this blog to not spend each day and night thinking about the sin, hurt and deception.
I want to commend Phil Walsh for bravely sharing what so many of us experienced with ABWE leadership. His recounting of events brought back memories we thought we’d forgotten. How clearly I remember my wife and I in 1990 sitting with mission leadership on furlough as we tried to address a concern. My wife was a nursing mother with a new baby and as the discussion intensified her hurt and emotions came out with tears. I will never forget the two men openly making fun of her for crying and “being too emotional”. It was at that point that any respect I had for them died. At the conclusion we were forced to resign and we didn’t know why. By that time, we were both devastated by the lack of concern for our well being. I guess that puts us in the expendable category.
Several times on the field issues arose and each time they were swept under the big carpet of covering up bad decisions and often sin. I was told more than once that I was the one with the problem for seeking help from headquarters about the immoral conduct of a colleague.
Phil, there are many of us that started our exciting missionary careers with ABWE who sadly soon found out that we could not continue because of the favoritism, arrogance and covering of sin by many in leadership. As a pastor I have sadly seen this same scenario repeated in some churches, fellowships and Bible colleges.
It such a joy to get to be called your “aunts and uncles.” My heart is broken that so many in leadership did not have the courage, integrity and character to stand and do the right thing, as you have all so powerfully illustrated.
While I fear that there may be more that is not yet known I do know that when men are elevated because of titles or names, it becomes easy to ignore biblical principles and cover sin for the sake of the organization. When that happens there is no prospering.
Dear ABWE,
As a former Bangladesh MK I was hoping you would throw caution to the wind, and there would be an outpouring of grief over past events and wrongs and an incredible expression of love for the victims. I find myself deeply disappointed.
Your responses have been so carefully crafted to avoid any admission of wrong doing as to rob them of all feeling. In view of this, I can only assume that the protection of your “buddies” at the home office is still your top priority.
This, and another event in the past, has left me with a host of questions. What is your definition of a”zero tolerance” policy? What within your structural setup keeps you objective? Is there a 3rd party that checks whether disciplinary measures or legal issues are applied correctly and fairly to all? Do you have professional medical, psychological, law enforcement personnel, etc. WITHOUT CLOSE TIES to the mission and their personnel that you refer to? How do you ensure that no one is “playing favorites”?
Again, I realize that there are reasons for caution but I do wish so much that you had taken a chance and stepped out in faith and love – I truly believe that you would have been overwhelmingly surprised with how generous MK’s can be with forgiveness!!!
cc: ABWE Headquarters
Dear ABWE,
As a former Bangladesh MK I was hoping you would throw caution to the wind, and there would be a personal outpouring of grief over past events and wrongs and an incredible expression of love for the victims. I find myself deeply disappointed.
Your responses have been so carefully crafted as to rob them of all feeling.
This, and another event in the past, has left me with a host of questions. What is your definition of a “zero tolerance” policy? What within your structural setup keeps you objective? Is there a 3rd party that checks whether disciplinary measures or legal issues are applied correctly and fairly to all? Do you have professional medical, psychological, law enforcement personnel, etc. WITHOUT CLOSE TIES to the mission and their personnel that you defer to? How do you ensure that no one is “playing favorites”?
Again, I realize that there may be reasons for caution but I do wish so much that you had taken a chance and stepped out in faith and love – I truly believe that you would have been overwhelmingly surprised with how generous MK’s can be with forgiveness!!!
cc: ABWE Headquarters
If ABWE is Truly a ‘Family’ Where is Daddy n Mommy hugging and kissing and loving and comforting the children (Even if in Words) whose hearts have been cut into pieces!! There is no FEAR in True LOVE~~~
I have been trying to organize my thoughts enough to make a reply to this blog. I confess, I think it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever tried to do. The analogy of this situation to the Trans Asian Railway destroying some of our homes, MK school, etc. on our beloved compound is unsettling!! This situation is even more devastating! Lives have been destroyed and are still in desperate situations. We have been in E.Pakistan (now Bangladesh) since 1964. We have loved ABWE and our mission family passionately. It’s the only family our 4 children have known. We have especially loved you MK’s and I believe you have loved us. We have known about some of these situations through the years. I cannot explain why we as parents were so naive. Why we didn’t insist on knowing if justice had been carried out after things came to light? I know it was a generation thing for us to keep quiet; not to hurt someone’s reputation; not to harm the ministry. We didn’t want anyone thinking bad of our daughters. If you didn’t say anything, it would go away. We were so close. We had weathered many storms together-horrible literal ones, wars, deaths of colleagues, famine, threats on our lives, robberies, attacks of all sorts, evacuations. separation from loved ones, deaths of loved ones back in U.S.–on and on. This drew us closer together. In fact Bangladesh missionaries have the reputation of being almost “obnoxious” when we are at M.E., weddings, or any kind of get together. We gravitate to each other. It was a real struglle at Marty’s funeral…some wanting to attend so badly to show love to the family, yes even to Donn, but not wanting to see him or show any approval of Donn by their presence. That’s been the problem with his being invited to BD get togethers, weddings, etc. Maybe that’s why we tried to ignore this ugly thing going on in our midst! I don’t know. What a mess! I’m trying to understand it. Of course, we didn’t know how many were affected. DK had a way of pulling off his abuse almost in front of your eyes, which somehow took away some of his guilt perhaps-after all, you saw what he was doing and didn’t say anything . Example: examining the girls in presence of the mother like Sue James mentioned. That also happened with our oldest daughter. He was already preparing to give her physical when I came into the exam room-no nurse present. I also remember the breast exam, he says”it’s never too young to learn to self-exam for lumps, etc.”-I think she was 15 or 16. There were other things, too. She was part of the 2002 group. I just want to ask forgiveness from you girls for not pursuing, investigating, or whatever was necessary. We knew there was a problem with his relationship with some of the missionary women. We didn’t know the details of any of this or who among the MKs had been abused. I think when these “inappropriate behaviors” were exposed we all assumed that whatever needed to be done, had been done. It is a shame that they never came to each family and ask what was known. It’s ironic that one reason we chose to join ABWE was it’s policies regarding MK’s-make own decision about sending away for boarding, keeping them on field, etc. We have often praised them for the way they value and help the MK’s, sometimes sending college kids back to the field at mission expense when they needed the parents; taking place of absent parents when MK needed counseling and encouraging. Russ Ebersole was a great encourager and help. Dr. Kempton was reaching out to an MK even as he spent his last days on earth. The devil is so clever to choose the good things and destroy them. And of course he had to choose an outstanding Dr. with a tremendous brain, knowledge of scripture, and with a name that all GARBC and many others revered. We’ve written ABWE to please do whatever is needed-whatever YOU feel will correct the wrong that they’ve done. Dan DeCook and many others gave some excellent suggestions. It must be done and soon. So much damage has already been done. We love and admire all of you beautiful MK’s who have been abused. Please forgive us for not being more sensitive. We are praying for all of you. I’m so proud of you adult MK’s most of whom I’ve known most of your lives and have taught many of you. It has been a blessing to read what you have written. Your maturity and spiritual insight puts me to shame. God bless you all and your dear parents. We love you.
Uncle Bob & Aunt Barb – I CAN imagine how difficult it must have been to write this and I want to thank you for doing so. You’ve expressed well how mixed up this whole mess has been with the bits and pieces of information here and there (and maybe even questioning whether there was truth to any of this), the naiveté or ignorance on the part of many, not knowing whether to speak up or keep quiet on behalf of your child (thinking that you were protecting them), hoping and trusting that things would be handled in the right way, not wanting to create waves or derail God’s work, etc. etc… Well, given what we know now, I’m certain that we ALL would have done things differently! I just wanted to say that it means a lot to have the “Aunts” and “Uncles” that we love and respect speak out. It feels like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders and is being shared by all of you because you believe what is being said, are supporting and praying for us, and are “going to bat” for us. Thank you!
let me echo my brother–you were wonderful to us, sharing so much of your time and yourselves with all of us, thru AWANA and numerous school activities like music and track meets and parties (and yes, silly songs about “My Funny Aunt Barb…”)
Thank you for lending your strong voice and support here. Now, stop torturing yourself.
danny-bai
Dear Aunt Barb and Uncle Bob,
You were the fairy dust in my fairy-tale MK experience. The silly songs in AWANA, the bike hikes, the next-door neighborliness. You preserved my innocence and naiveté (which some of the kids I work with at church today are sadly lacking). You were not head-in-the-sand Pollyannas. You had your feet on the ground. I hope you will not torture yourselves with all the “If only….” scenarios. This man was given a pass by the higher-ups and we can be pretty sure why. He had a big name.
If it is alright with you, when we get to heaven I am going to keep calling you Aunt Barb and Uncle Bob.
Dave DeCook
Exactly — the name probably gave DK a “pass.” Afterall, he was the son of one of the early leaders of the GARBC and has a residence hall at BBC-PA named for him.
I am reminded — “Be sure your sin will find you out.”
Our hearts go out to the young women who had their innocence stolen from them as MK’s.
I currently work in a prison in Monroe, WA where I was just recently assigned a job as a Counselor in the sex offender unit. I have 65 inmates on my caseload. It is very disturbing to have to read everyday about every little detail of their criminal history and the victims they molested.
These girls are victims and SHOULD NOT be treated as the guilty party.
I can only hope and pray that ABWE will do what is right and stop covering up.
I have no sympathy for sex offenders. They are sexual predators, child molesters, and should be called to account for their actions. I agree with the comment that ABWE can still share with the authorities the documents and things they know. Do not let this travesty go unpunished. There is much talk about Grace, but a great Sin was committed against these young ladies.
We applaud all the young ladies for the courage to stand and reveal such a painful experience. Our love and prayers are with you and your families.
I am not an MK but my best friend is an MK from Bangladesh, and I count her sisters as my friends also. To them, and all the other beautiful and courageous women who have come forward, I want you to know I am praying for each and everyone of you. You are all “precious in His sight.”
Our hearts go out to the young women who had their innocence stolen from them as MK’s.
I currently work at the Monroe Correctional Complex in Monroe, WA where I was just recently assigned a job as a Counselor in the sex offender unit. I have 65 inmates on my caseload. It is very disturbing to have to read every day about every little detail of their criminal history and the victims they molested.
I have no sympathy whatsoever for sex offenders. They are sexual predators, child molesters, and should be called to account for their actions. I agree with the comment that ABWE can still share with the authorities all documents they have and what they know. Do not let this travesty go unpunished. We hear a lot about Grace and Forgiveness, but a great, grievious Sin has been committed against these young ladies. I can only hope and pray that ABWE will do what is right and stop covering up.
These young ladies are Victims and not the guilty party. It WAS NOT their fault.
The effects of sexual victimization can be severely traumatic.
What to do for a Victim of Sexual Assault
Sexual assault affects not only the victim, but the loved ones and family of the survivor, as well as the community. Family members and friends many times not only have to help their loved one manage the aftereffects of the assault but also have to deal with their own feelings about the victimization of someone they care about.
To be of assistance to a survivor one should:
* Listen without judging;
* Let them know the assault(s) was not their fault;
* Let them know they did what was necessary to prevent further harm;
* Reassure the survivor that he or she is cared for and loved;
* Encourage the sexual assault victim to seek medical attention;
* Encourage the survivor to talk about the assault(s) with an advocate, mental health professional or someone they trust; and
* Let them know they do not have to manage this crisis alone.
Pam and I applaud these young ladies for the courage to stand up and speak out. Our love, prayers, and support are with you. Blessings on you.
The memo, “ANSWERS TO COMMON QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN ASKED,” itself raises questions. I’ll just mention one raised by answer #1 about reporting.
Paragraph 1 says ABWE should have filed a report with MBHP. Paragraph 2 says that upon hearing of wider abuse in 2002, ABWE didn’t need to file a report because “nothing would be done with the report.” Paragraph 3 says (ignore the first two sentences as relating only to two churches and so broadly worded as to be capable of a whole range of meanings) ABWE’s lawyer recently (after this blog?) told them ABWE should file a report with MBHP and they’re now taking his advice. (“We should have filed a report but we didn’t need to file a report so we’re now filing a report.”) Even so, one wonders what “changes in attitude” between 2002 and today could change whether a child molesting doctor could or could not be disciplined by the Michigan Board of Health Professions.
Don Davis made a similar claim in his e-mail of 11/6/09 that a report to MBHP would be pointless: “This is third hand, but I understand the medical board’s response was similar, that they could not take action where no official charge had been made by the authorities.” I’m sure this was sincerely believed, but it’s not accurate. Doctors (just like dentists, nurses, lawyers, etc.) in Michigan and other states and countries are regularly censured and have their licenses suspended or revoked for violating the medical laws of the state that issues their license, or for being found not of “good moral character”. In fact, the states and foreign countries that permit the practice of medicine by licensees of foreign states and countries are depending on the licensing state to police their licensees to a significant degree. For example, as in other states, a formal written complaint called an “Allegation” may be filed with the Michigan Board of Health Professions for a violation of the Michigan Public Health Code committed by any medical doctor, nurse, psychologist, etc. licensed by the MBHP (for a consumer guide see http://www.michigan.gov/documents/citiguide_34342_7.pdf). There is a regular publication that lists disciplinary actions against doctors, and one can find many doctors disciplined on moral character grounds. (Similar newsletters exist for other professions including lawyers.) Today, such allegations and resulting discipline are also made available to the public via the Michigan Board of Public Health website where employers, hospitals, and parents can do a search.
Where crimes took place would not matter for serious violations of the Code or lack of good moral character. Allegations can be made on behalf of a minor, and the name of the one alleging is kept confidential unless they’re called to testify, but names are not normally disclosed in cases of sexually molested minors. Since Dr. Ketcham had already “confessed,” denying a filed Allegation would risk criminal perjury as such proceedings are usually conducted under oath. Therefore, it’s doubtful he would have opposed a filed Allegation. He would also no longer have been able to say he was “repentant,” if in fact he was not ready to accept the full consequences of his actions including admitting the claims made in the Allegation, resulting in a possible suspension of his license to practice medicine (or at least making information public that would make him virtually impossible to employ).
Surely a physician who sexually molests over a period of time a minor who is also his patient has violated the Michigan Public Health Code. Surely a physician who has also lied to numerous people about several instances of sexual intercourse with subordinate nurses over a period of years could have been found not to have “good moral character” as a physician. Filing an Allegation by responsible persons in the States would seem to have been an easy and reasonable response to Dr. Ketcham’s outrageous conduct and an act of compassion toward the children of Michigan. This would have been a more just result than another 22 years of continued family practice. It would have sent a strong message to families still on the field that people back in the States are fighting for some semblance of justice for you. A message for young victims that Dr. Ketcham was the exception–authority figures in your lives do care for you, and, yes, you can trust them. When more widespread abuse came to light in 2002, the filing of a complaint would seem almost morally required. The claims against Dr. Ketcham (especially involving drugs), if true, are among the most serious crimes that can be committed by a medical doctor.
It was good to read that ABWE seems to be acknowledging that they should have filed a report with the MBHP in 1989 and/or in 2002. They have said they are doing that now, which is also good (let’s not miss that). What is not so good are their implications that until now there was really nothing to be gained by filing a report with MBHP. Inconsistent or “qualified apologies” too often prevent true, heart-felt reconciliation in the midst of a conflict. Even so, forgiveness is a difficult act of the will that works a release within the victim, not the wrongdoers. It occurs with or without reconciliation and with or without restitution. It surrenders the wrong and the wrongdoers to God, and accepts the injury inflicted. It is supernatural and God-like. I have sensed this supernatural spirit of forgiveness in many, many posts I have read here.
I admire you women who have endured so much. I do not know your pain, but I have seen strength, reserve, and courage in your writing. God has used you and this blog to spark countless conversations among Christian workers around the globe and countless critical talks between privately horrified parents and their unsuspecting innocent children. We just had one with our kids and I know they are slightly safer now. For that I thank you.
Our hearts go out to the young women who had their innocence stolen from them as MK’s.
I currently work at the Monroe Correctional Complex in Monroe, WA where I was just recently assigned a job as a Counselor in the sex offender unit. I have 65 inmates on my caseload. It is very disturbing to have to read every day about every little detail of their criminal history and the victims they molested.
I have no sympathy whatsoever for sex offenders. They are sexual predators, child molesters, and should be called to account for their actions. I agree with the comment that ABWE can still share with the authorities all documents they have and what they know. Do not let this travesty go unpunished.
We hear a lot about Grace and Forgiveness, but a great, grievous Sin has been committed against these young ladies. I can only hope and pray that ABWE will do what is right and stop covering up.
These young ladies are Victims and not the guilty party. It WAS NOT their fault.
The effects of sexual victimization can be severely traumatic.
What to do for a Victim of Sexual Assault
Sexual assault affects not only the victim, but the loved ones and family of the survivor, as well as the community. Family members and friends many times not only have to help their loved one manage the aftereffects of the assault but also have to deal with their own feelings about the victimization of someone they care about.
To be of assistance to a survivor one should:
* Listen without judging;
* Let them know the assault(s) was not their fault;
* Let them know they did what was necessary to prevent further harm;
* Reassure the survivor that he or she is cared for and loved;
* Encourage the sexual assault victim to seek medical attention;
* Encourage the survivor to talk about the assault(s) with an advocate, mental health professional or someone they trust; and
* Let them know they do not have to manage this crisis alone.
We applaud these young ladies for the courage to stand up and speak out. Our love, prayers, and support are with you. Blessings on you.
Praying for you!
I am a Bangladesh ”MK In-Law”—being married to one of the MK girls who grew up on the field during the time that DK was there and we are active supporters of ABWE missionaries. I have discussed the blog with my wife, of course, but didn’t really intend to become part of the conversation because I am somewhat of a stranger to the situation. However, I read through all of the postings and documents last night and today and—maybe it just isn’t in my DNA to keep my mouth shut!
First, no matter how many times you are told that you have nothing to be ashamed of (and you don’t) and that it wasn’t your fault (and it wasn’t), it has to be incredibly hard to come forward and discuss, openly and by name, something so personal and that makes you so vulnerable. I too applaud your courage.
Second, while I have been very impressed with the tone set on this blog, even when there have been to my mind uncalled for attacks, I would encourage you to continue to take the “high road.” I can only imagine how hard that must be with such an emotionally charged issue and the loving tone throughout most posts does you credit.
Third, there are a few comments that “stick in my craw.” There are statements that ABWE admin was ignorant and naïve about pedophilia back in 1989 and that they had no reason to know there had been more than one instance of child molestation. This is totally unacceptable. These leaders were charged with a duty to know. When confronted with this situation, they had a duty to educate themselves; seek counsel from experts; and make informed decisions about how to deal with the situation, how to help the victim (and find out if there were more) and how to avoid there being new victims later. Are they seriously saying that the information was not available in 1989? That there was no information to be had about the rates of recidivism among pedophiles, about the commonality of their having numerous victims, about the control they exert over victims, about the devastating effects some victims experience? Really?!
In 1988-89 I had the misfortune of learning that a young teen girl that I love very much had been molested. It was a very difficult time and a tough thing to deal with. I was not in any position of trust or authority or under any duty to know but without doing any serious research or consulting with experts, I learned enough to be concerned about her sister and to make inquiry about whether she had suffered the same things. I don’t say they should have known everything about pedophiles, but the basics that they imply ignorance of, yes.
There are certainly areas where I think lack of knowledge is understandable and maybe even to be expected. Even after having had at least some exposure to pedophilia, I have been shocked to read that abuse can take place in a moment and possibly even in the presence of other trusted adults. I can only imagine the pain parents of these girls must feel when they learn this and recognize how futile it was, no matter how careful they were, to try to protect their children in such a closed community. If two minutes alone with a predator is enough, in such an environment as I understand the BD compound to have been, preventing such short contact would have been impossible.
As much as I hate to say it, based on what I have read here and what ABWE has said to-date, I can only conclude that they had to have remained willfully ignorant and that they did not consider other MKs as they would their own sons and daughters. I can tell you with absolute certainty that if I had a child molested (in 1989 or any other time) and my other children had been exposed to the same person and risks, I would most definitely have made sure my other kids hadn’t also been victims and found out whether they also needed help and special love. I can assure you that I would not have said “Oh, I have no evidence that there was more than one victim” and gone on my way! For one thing, conclusive evidence that there has been one victim is pretty darned convincing that there are likely to have been more with pedophilia. I realize that the father/child metaphor breaks down at some point—but should it?
I sincerely believe that Dr. Loftis has a tender heart for MKs (Hey! He is one!) and that the leadership and staff at ABWE are Godly, well-intentioned servants. In my assessment, however, they need to be very careful not to adopt or defend the mistakes of the last generation of leadership. I have been a supporter of ABWE for many years and I hope to remain one but I have spent a lot of years reading (and writing!) “CYA” and, in reading the ABWE responses to-date, that is what I see developing. While the initial response did express regret and love, there and increasingly in the follow-up FAQ, I also see people using carefully guarded, sterile, unfeeling words to protect an organization and I see people defending the leaders who preceded them. (And let’s face it, some of the same people are still around or their friends or relatives are and, whether it is the intent or not, there is at the very least the appearance of impropriety.) To the leadership at ABWE, I would say: “Don’t adopt and defend the errors of others to the point of making them your own!”
What I don’t clearly see is love for these MK ladies. Where is the passion to see wrongs righted? Where is the concern for lives devastated? Where is the outrage, even directed at yourselves, at injuries inflicted on vulnerable daughters? I bet every ABWE leader reading this has made reference to the “ABWE family” hundreds of times. Do you mean it? Are you loving these MKs as your own daughters? If your little girls (even if they were 40!) were hurting, would you call meetings, consult with lawyers and carefully parse words or would you hug them, love them and do everything in your power to stop the hurting? Please think what you do!
As we continue to wait, I can’t help but hear the deafening silence of Donn Ketcham and ABWE. It speaks volumes. Time continues to go by as you wade through board meetings, attorney meetings, etc. Repentance comes from the heart, not from a carefully crafted “response” to “allegations” that you seem to be convinced will shut down the work of God unless you help Him out by figuring out how to cover them up.
There is one overarching theme besides honesty that must be present when a person or organization is biblically seeking forgiveness:
Humility.
“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” – II Chron. 7:14
I encourage you to humbly seek the forgiveness of those you have wronged. In his short letter to Philemon, the Apostle Paul gives us guidelines on how to do this. He humbly, as an APOSTLE, demonstrates to both Onesimus and Philemon how to reconcile relationships.
1.) Humbly put yourself in the shoes of those you have so deeply offended. Choose to see this from their point of view.
2.) Humbly take complete responsibility for all your offenses.
3.) Humbly state your repentance through any and all means available.
4.) Humbly demonstrate your repentance through any and all means available.
5.) Humbly defer to the victim’s leadership on the matter (i.e. Third Party Investigation).
6.) Humbly make complete restitution whatever that may be.
Only then are the victims able to confidently, generously, and biblically grant you the forgiveness that you desperately need.
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
Louisville, Colorado
tick…tock…tick…tock…ABWE…still waiting!
Aunt Barb & Uncle Bob –
Love, love, and more love sent your way today. You both are dear to me in so many ways. We will get through this and we will be better for it in the end. (Romans 8:28) There will always be scars, but there can still be healing.
All of this can be compared to taking our malaria pills, huh? Those teeny-tiny pills were so bitter and distasteful, but it had to be done. Otherwise disease runs rampant. The previous administration decided to run the risk that the disease would not hit the compound. They did not give out that tiny, bitter pill with the first accusation arrived of inappropriate conduct (in any form). Now these girls been sick for so, so long. Heartaches, pain, nightmares….all because a tiny, bitter bill was not administered properly for prevention’s sake.
Well, I had malaria once…and let me tell you that the treatment/cure is much harder than the method of prevention. No matter how horrible that daily pill tasted, it was still easier than the medicine I had to take to get rid of the disease.
ABWE finds themselves scrambling to find a cure. Unfortunately, any treatment but the one known to be successful will be insufficient and is destined for failure. We must go to the Greatest Physician and to the Word of God to find His treatment plan for true healing to take place. It will not be a fun process of curing. It will taste bitter…it will hurt…it might be expensive…it definitely will not be quick and easy. But the disease that has festered for so long in untreated hearts and lives can be healed by Him. We believe it.
I sincerely hope the current administration of ABWE decides to leave the method of treatment in the Great Physicians hands and that they trust Him to do what is right and best.
To ABWE leadership:
I challenge you to think about the following quotes. Think about how you have been handling the sin of DK through the generations. Think about the truth (not the half truth- the WHOLE truth- if you don’t know the whole truth, it is your duty to find it out). The truth is OUT THERE. The truth will be known. The truth will WIN.
“The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold.” -Aristotle (Have you had to keep lying, to hide the truth all these years? Two, three, four or more wrongs- will never make it right!)
“We tell lies when we are afraid…afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” – Tad Williams
This sin was partially exposed years ago, but instead of bringing it into the light- where sin dies- it was allowed to grow in the dark- where it thrives. Now it’s a MONSTER. The destruction of lives, of innocence lost, of ministries failing to thrive continues. It must be stopped. Only the truth will stop it.
Do the right thing. Find the truth. Expose it.
Only then will these women be free to live again.
I continue to be bothered by the involvment of Dr. Russ Lloyd in this. That he appears to have stood by and allowed this innocent girl to sign a statement of guilt is appalling. He is supposed to be a psychologist and so of all people, he should have stopped this, knowing the long term damage that signing such a paper would cause this girl.
Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers day and night. May God bless you and may the truth finally come out.
Dr. Russ Lloyd is equally responsible for the cover up of this crime as any of the ABWE administration. He has been entrenched in this mess from day one, literally. He has been involved to the present day. His board members for the ministry he has should be notified and warned.
Based on the actions of Dr. Russ Lloyd in this situation and in others (I know how he has crossed boundaries with others in his “position” as “psychologist for ABWE”) I think that complaints ought to be filed and his license be potentially revoked. I would not want anyone to ever be counselled by someone so incompetent.
I too can not believe a professional in his field would have allowed this to be done without the parents present. The wording alone is more disturbing than I can grasp. Anyone with any training in this area would know how important it would be to put ALL the blame on the 54 year old man and not on a 14 (12 when it started) year old child.
One of the main things I have said to my friend, who was so deeply hurt by ketcham, is to pray each time before reading the blog. To find support and take back the control and strength that were robbed from her. Bringing the sin of Ketcham out into the open releases it’s power of you. Look closely at how many who lived there and knew both her, the other abused girls and ketcham are supporting the girls. It is unforunate that the board didn’t go to all the families at the time they FIRST knew of any sinful activity. It would have given the families opportunity to support and disclose all that they knew and felt uncomfortable with. In 1989 there were several books, material and professionals speaking out about child abuse. I study it and found endless material by great Christian authors. Even out local radio station WCSG had programs that would speak about it. Not one ever said to cover it up. Not one said it would just go away. Not one said the abuser could recover on his own or that he should ever be put in situations to tempt himself. My question to ABWE is that enlight of all the people that have come forward recently through this blog, when did you go see Ketcham to confront him? Last week, this week????
I’m sure that many of you have but if you haven’t, please make sure you are sending correspondence to ABWE. I know this forum is being followed closely but they also need to hear directly from all of us giving our support and concern. Direct communication with them is important. Their email box needs to be flooded adding to the pressure voiced here. I expressed my thoughts directly to Tony’s email address and while not expecting anything, he did respond and at least acknowledge. Action speaks louder than words and while he voices his intent to move forward, added pressure needs to be applied consistently until the right actions are taken.
Robert Goddard, MD
Former short-term medical student at MCH 1974-75
Former short-term surgical resident at MCH 1978-79
Former full-time ABWE missionary appointed 1980, served as physician-surgeon at MCH from 1983-1990 (Language study in Dhaka Dec 1983-Oct 1985)
General Surgeon, FACS, USA, practiced 1990-2000 in general surgery
Emergency Medicine, 2000-present.
This is a medical doctor response to the request of Dr. Joe DeCook.
1) Breast exams in young teens:
Any minor (male or female) is examined only in the presence of the responsible adult or authorized agent on approval (consent) of the legal guardian. For a teen girl with a male guardian, a female nurse’s presence is required. This exam is usually done fully clothed. The patient is placed in a gown only if essential for the exam. Even then only that portion of the skin pertinent to the exam are exposed. The bra is only removed if the history reveals pertinent breast pathology. Care is taken to cover the patient except for the area to be examined and that is done as expeditiously as possible.
Lung and heart exams are done through the shirt or gown.
In 35 years of medical practice I cannot recall a case where these precautions ever led to a wrong or inadequate diagnosis.
2) Lymph node exam:
As with breast exam, utmost care is taken especially with teen girls (With all the different issues of sexuality, I believe these guidelines are now applicable to males as well. The composition of people present may be based on age of the patient.) At no point should the patient be left naked even with a sheet. I feel the patient is reassured by having a known female present, in addition to the female nurse, which is mandatory for this exam. (Teenage boys may decide on which side of the curtain others should stand. All areas of lymph nodes can be adequately examined with the breast and genitalia covered.
3) The bra or underwear need only be removed to evaluate lesions of the skin of the breast or of the genitalia. This requires intentional chaperoning even if a female guardian or friend is present. (Current laws are different for the history portion of the H&P).
4) I totally concur with the statement by Dr. Dan DeCook and Dr. Dan Golin about pelvic and rectal exams. Wherever possible I try to refer such an exam to a female primary care physician, nurse practitioner, or the established OB/GYN physician of the patient. I only offer to do the exam if the immediate care depends on the exam. My experiences are similar to Dan Golin’s.
5) Use of Ketamine:
“That he may have been abetted by the use of a chemical dysphorient such as Ketamine, at least in some of the occasions, seems increasingly probable (adding to the criminality of his actions.)”
If such abuse of medication was utilized during the commission of criminal sexual
activity, this would only add to the heinous nature of the sin. This is a clear violation of all professional and moral doctor-patient principles.
In my 45 years of medical practice, I cannot remember ever examining a naked teenage girl. The rare breast exam I did was for trauma to that area, and the few pelvic exams were either for trauma to that area or for suspected sexually transmitted diseases. When those exams were done, there was always a female nurse present, and usually the girl’s mother as well. Most physical exams were done with the girl fully clothed. I have done a few exams which necessitated the girl disrobe down to bra and panties, but she was always covered with a sheet which was very judiciously moved so as to maintain optimal coverage of her body at all times. All lymph nodes can be adequately examined without having the person disrobe.
Dick Stagg, Medical Doctor at Memorial Christian Hospital from 1973 to 1988.
1 Peter 1:3-7
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.”
Peter goes on to talk about the various trials that they were suffering and how his desire for them was that their faith would be proven genuine and result in praise, glory and honor when Christ is revealed.
Although it has been many years since I have seen many of you, my heart still aches for the hurt and sorrow that you are (and have been) experiencing. To those in the family I got to know because of an MK connect many years ago, please know that I will be praying for you all as you go through this “trial”, and be encouraged – our HOPE is in the LORD! May HE sustain you through it all.
I am an MK, missionary and parent of MKS. My heart is broken by what I have read here and I am distreseed that ABWE did so much additional harm by not dealing with this correctly when the survivors became known.
It is almost as damaging as the abuse itself, to have let it go unreported to Michigan authorities, and to have the survivor write a “confession” is unbelievable. If a psychologist was involved in that confession, it makes me wonder about the credentials of the psychologist as normally, it would be a statement of the crimes committed against someone, not a confession of guilt.
As former ABWE’rs we like many have spent the last several days reading the stories and thoughts of some incredibly brave women. As the father of five daughters I have been outraged at what DK did but sickened to the core of my soul with the enormity of ABWE’s part in all of this. It has been nearly impossible since we have begun following this blog to not spend each day and night thinking about the sin, hurt and deception.
I want to commend Phil Walsh for bravely sharing what so many of us experienced with ABWE leadership. His recounting of events brought back memories we thought we’d forgotten. How clearly I remember my wife and I sitting with mission leadership on furlough as we tried to address a concern. My wife was a nursing mother with a new baby and as the discussion intensified her hurt and emotions came out with tears. I will never forget the two men openly making fun of her for crying and “being too emotional”. It was at that point that any respect I had for them died. At the conclusion we were forced to resign and we didn’t know why. By that time, we were both devastated by the lack of concern for our well being. I guess that puts us in the expendable category.
Several times on the field issues arose and each time they were swept under the big carpet of covering up bad decisions and often sin. I was told more than once that I was the one with the problem for seeking help from headquarters about the immoral conduct of a colleague.
Phil, there are many of us that started our exciting missionary careers with ABWE who sadly soon found out that we could not continue because of the favoritism, arrogance and covering of sin by many in leadership. As a pastor I have sadly seen this same scenario repeated in some churches, fellowships and Bible colleges.
It such a joy to get to be called your “aunts and uncles.” My heart is broken that so many in leadership did not have the courage, integrity and character to stand and do the right thing, as you have all so powerfully illustrated.
While I fear that there may be more that is not yet known I do know that when men are elevated because of titles or names, it becomes easy to ignore biblical principles and cover sin for the sake of the organization. When that happens there is no prospering.
I received my first communication from ABWE today. I sent them a few emails and this is the response I received:
***********************************
I do read every email sent to me including these you have just sent and rarely are my responses cut and paste.
Hopefully I will have something to share very soon.
I will admit that the response to the answers we posted was not what I had hoped for or expected. As I read through the blog and the emails I received, significant questions were emerging. One night last week I re read them all and noted the questions that kept coming up. The document was a sincere effort to provide answers. It is obvious that it missed badly. It was not a defense of Donn Ketcham but was intended to be an answering of questions. That was all. I truly am sorry anyone would think it was in anyway a defense of Donn Ketchum because I am not a defender of him, his actions or of the missteps that have occurred in handling this over the entire time from the first reports in the 70’s to now.
Over the past weeks I have repeatedly typed these words and mean them sincerely as my prayer, that my heart desire is to be used of God to help bring healing to those who have been so affected by the sins and the failures.
Tony Beckett
*****************************
Did you notice this line: “…I am not a defender of him, his actions or the missteps that have occurred in handling this over the entire time from the first reports in the 70’s to now.”
Bangladesh aunts and uncles – please read that again and let it sink in. For those of you who have children who were abused that are older than my sister…there were reports of misconduct that date back to the 70’s. That is a BIG DEAL. Oh the heartache that could’ve been prevented! Oh, the lives that could have been saved from destruction!
I beg you….pastors, missionaries, mk’s from around the world….make them hear your voice TODAY. This is the vice president telling us that the cover up has been going on for 40 years! Shout it from the rooftops: THIS IS WRONG and they must come clean. An independent, third party must investigate even beyond this case. A thorough investigation of all of their history must be performed. Spread the word but please also write them today:
Tony@abwe.org
mloftis@abwe.org
The very fact that they admit to all this going on from the 70’s until now? Really? Unbelievable and sickening. Do they not realize that covering up the sin makes them guilty as well? How sad..
So they admit the cover-up.. now what? Where does the accountability come in?
Perhaps a “public” apology and a stepping down of all those involved in covering this up? It’s not enough for them to admit the cover up! How can healing come for any of the victims and families if there is not a change from the inside out with ABWE?! How can any peace of mind come to any present missionaries that ABWE will not do this again?
So much damage has been done. It certainly is necessary that everyone bombard ABWE with our sincere outrage. I really hope and pray that ABWE will do what is right not what is comfortable.
Last night we sent the following e-mail to Tony at ABWE. We so sadly post it here to assure you of the length and depth of concern and loving support that surrounds you…
As actively retired missionaries after 42 years with ABWE in the Philippines, Singapore, Cambodia and Nepal, and on our way to The Gambia soon for a temporary assignment, we are ‘wordless’ to express our dismay at the answers publicly provided to the watching world. Answer #3 is misleading and inaccurate at best and #4 is completely unacceptable.
A confession, obviously not crafted by a 14 year old girl, called by any other name, or for whatever purpose, is still a confession. Any explanation to the contrary merely heightens mistrust which is building at an alarming rate, not only to those most harmed, but to the ABWE family at large. Question # 4 and ABWE’s response, when placed beside the actual document, is appalling to the point of disbelief.
We are immeasurably sad, ashamed, and disallusioned, not only for the mishandling many years ago, but even more so for the failure to properly respond at this time. May God grant you the wisdom and courage to do what is right.
Jim and Shirlie Moore
thank you, thank you, thank you for highlighting this again. Diana Durrill so adequately dissected and dismissed that first attempted public response to this blog when it was first posted. (“Answers to common questions that have been posted”) In fact, it was such a lame document that one can immediately conclude why no one person put their authorship into public display. The woodshed is really the only place to keep sending someone back to until they can get it right.
Just a thought, isn’t it possible when he refers to the 70’s that it might be referring to the questions raised before the 89′ event that involved the Dr. and adult women?
Were there specific instances before the abuse reported in 89′ where he was reported to the mission for abuse to a child?
Jane –
Does it matter? Wouldn’t accusations with women (note the plural) be enough to remove any man from the field? They are no longer “above reproach”. Can you tell me why that matters? ABWE says on their website that they knew of nothing before ’89 but just today we learned from Tony Beckett that there are reports that date back to the 70’s and from Jess Eaton that he knew of several things prior to 1974. If that had been dealt with biblically Dr. Ketcham would not have had access to the young women who were abused on the field.
The point is…ABWE has lied and now men from their own HQ are saying so.
Are our medical records still on file at MCH? Does anyone know?
I am working on that today…
Uncle Jess and Aunt Joyce Eaton (lived in Bangladesh from 1967-1981):
Ever since the blog site first appeared we have been agonizing for you ladies, our precious MK daughters, your parents and all who have been horribly affected by the despicable actions of the doctor/neighbor and co-worker. You dear MKs have been and still are family to us. As God knows our hearts, we have been crying out to Him on your behalf – for, when one member of the family suffers, we too suffer. Those of you who lived on the Malumghat (hospital site) compound during our stay there for 14 years know that we were co-workers, neighbors, team members, friends and family to each other while our own two daughters were also at risk. So, now that you are crying out for justice to be served and for family to surround you with the true love we knew in the past, we want to join our voices with yours, our adult sisters. We fully identify with the aunts and uncles who have preceded us with their entries and who served on the field with us (Bob and Barb Adolph, Joe and Joyce DeCook, Dick and Linda Stagg and George and Shirley Weber). In addition, with those of George and Deb Collins and the James family, who followed us to Bangladesh after we left to teach missions at BBC of PA in 1981. We fully resonate with the deep feelings Aunt Barb and Uncle Bob Adolph have just expressed, likewise sharing in their sorrow and likewise, plead for your understanding and forgiveness for those times when we should have been more observant and diligent to catch the ways of the predator. However, your aunts and uncles were wary of the doctor’s defrauding ways with adult women, especially the single ladies. We know of several times the doctor was confronted about his flirtatious ways. Midway through our 14 years I personally addressed this issue with Donn while he was recovering from his heart attack in the USA (1974). But, alas, we only suspected “inappropriate behavior” for a Christian gentleman at that time. Then, 13 years after the doctor’s dismissal – in 2002, we were present with ABWE’s president and his wife at Messiah College when we began to hear the voices of our deeply troubled MK sisters. Please forgive us for not persisting in tracking the follow-through of our reports once they were handed over to the mission leadership in July, 2002. As we have daily followed the entries to the blog site our grief has intensified for our suffering Malumghat family. In the last few days I have been urging our ABWE leadership to call in an independent mediator. We are crying unto God that He will bring about justice soon. Please hear our hearts as we long for healing in your hearts and lives. We stand with you ladies. One final word, we commend the warrior brothers who have stepped up on behalf of their sisters (such as: Dan, Dave and Steve DeCook, Dan Golin and Phil Walsh– from our era at Malumghat). Likewise, we are very proud of the warrior sisters of all ages who have courageously stood to love and support their aggrieved sisters.
It is easy to jump ship when the Titanic is sinking.
Why say something now? Why not sooner?
Some things cannot be so easily overlooked by a sugar sweet letter that comes VERY late in the game. It will take action on your part to show these mk’s and their parents your sincerity. You have been too intricately involved with both administrations and have had knowledge of this specific situation for too long. Thank you for the attempt, but now it is time to put feet to your words. We watch and wait.
And, please – do not try to represent Dr. Michael Loftis. His absence is noticed. He must speak for himself. His voice is not heard through you or Mr. Tony Beckett. How do we really know he is sorry at all? We have heard nothing….nothing from him.
hmmm–not so sure this is a productive way to take your anger and frustration
Jess and Joyce,
I have to say that I cannot accept your apology here because I do not feel that you are sincere! You have known about this for many years and you yourselves are just as guilty. I venture to say if it was one of your daughters that you would have found it hard to hide.
You were just as guilty taking our sister away that day like all the rest of them. Even though you were not present on the field. What we had to live with following those events. What MY sister had to live with following those events. How could you? What the other ladies had to live with. I am sorry, no not really, but when I read your comment I wanted to be sick. It will take a lot of time to really know that someone is sincere in there apologies. Of course it will, It happened 20+ years ago. Something like this doesn’t just go away!
I hope and pray that you and the rest of the group that has kept it so queit for all this time will come together and finally give up and realize this is a bigger mess than you can handle and let there be a third party investigation. Let it be GRACE. That is who the victims trust. And trust is a big issue right now in the investigation!
Praying as I have since this all came out.
Anne Smith
Dan DeCook –
Let the victims and their families tell the story. They know more than most. Don’t jump to conclusions about their words being anger and frustration…you have not walked in their shoes or know the stories they know. They surely know more and have definitely restrained themselves from sharing even more incriminating information. When they call someone out for insincerity, be among the last to accuse them of being “angry”.
Dear Uncle Jess,
I can speak in support of your integrity and sincerity from our time together at Malumghat in the 70s. There is no way anyone can hold you responsible for letting Don Ketcham slide through the 70s. I am sure that if we took a poll during that time, the MKs would have made you their unanimous choice for “most likely to confront” and “most likely to be feared.” At the same time I knew you had a heart of love. How will I ever forget the time my brother and I were entertaining ourselves in the front row of evening church? We were mimicking my dad’s hand motions while he preached and finding it wonderfully amusing. After a while my dad looked at us and said, “And I see two little boys who are going to GET IT after church tonight.” From the back row boomed the unmistakable voice of Uncle Jess, “AMEN, BROTHER!” We probably thought that if my dad didn’t do it, Uncle Jess would see to it himself. Thank you for your stand for holiness and truth.
One is not guilty of abetting a child-molester unless he is known as one and that didn’t happen until 1989. So, let’s have everyone hold their stones until a third party investigation can tell us who knew what and when.
Dave DeCook (70s MK)
I must respond to Aunt Barb and Uncle Bob’s post earlier. I am moved to tears at the thought that you might have been brought to doubting our MK love for you. Anything good in us is by God’s grace, but ministered through the channel of so many loving and nurturing aunts and uncles in our young lives. You all are not the perpetrators here, and WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH YOU.
I was 10 years old in Bangladesh in 1989. About 99% of what happened and is posted on this blog was unknown to me until the last several days. I intended to stay completely out of it, reasoning that since I was never violated, it would be best to remain uninvolved. But, my love for those who have been suffering compels me to make this post to show my support. I pray for truth to prevail, justice to be done, and supernatural comfort and healing to be experienced.
Psalm 25
1 In you, LORD my God,
I put my trust.
2 I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
4 Show me your ways, LORD,
teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
I am trying to post this again under a different email because I am not sure if that is the reason my comment did not post yesterday.
I have read the posts and comments on this blog and my heart goes out to the women who suffered indescribable pain from one man’s selfish addiction. When I was young, I also was the victim of a member of the church who choose to make a foolish decision and forever scar my life. But I am so thankful that God allowed me to see that despite the terrible events of my past, I could move forward, solely looking to Him even when “justice” for me was no where and never has been something I have seen. I know that the only true justice that will ever matter is when the person who committed that sin will stand before Christ and be held accountable. There is no earthly justice that could ever compare.
But I do have some questions and please do not take them to be disrespectful to the situation at all! I can see that everyone involved with this incident, including ABWE, would have liked the situation to have been handled more appropriately. I cannot make excuses for either side because I was not part of the events.
I have seen God’s work be done by ABWE around the world. I hope that despite the many “emotional” responses by some who are allowing anger to alter the entire work of ABWE, we do not forgot that God has used ABWE in so many people’s lives to further the gospel. I have read ABWE’s responses to the incidents and from what I read, is seems they are attempting to make-up for any past wrongs, even though we always wish there could be more.
I do not understand exactly what the victims in this situation are looking for. Again, absolutely no disrespect, I am really trying to understand. Seeing as though the people originally involved in this incident are probably not with ABWE any longer (I know Dr. Kempton, previous president of ABWE, is now with the Lord) are you looking for someone to be fired? Or with GRACE involved, are you looking for a monetary settlement? I do see that ABWE has already adopted a child protection policy prior to this Blog being started, so something similar to this tragedy will never happen again. Or are you looking for the current President of ABWE to personally apologize to the victims involved for not handling the situation properly in 2002? I do agree that it would be beneficial to meet with the current administration and the victims so that the information about this entire incident is “put on the table” and everyone is on the same page with the facts.
Again, I am not trying to make excuses for anyone. Coming from someone who has also suffered many years ago, I do not understand what can be gained so far after the incident happened. I could not go back to the church I was abused in when I was young and expect the new leadership to bring justice. I do pray that it is not the intention of those that have commented on this blog to destroy ABWE and the lives ABWE are effecting today. At this point, it seems the incidents are between the abuser and God. Of course, in a perfect world, all abused children would have earthly justice, but again, I rest in God’s justice alone.
Thank you for reading!
Dear Wondering,
I disagree with most of your post but do not want to throw angry words at someone who has also been abused. I would urge you to find a certified trauma therapist, even though your abuse also occured long ago, as most abuse victims have many issues related to the abuse that they need to work through in therapy, whether they have forgiven or not. A short answer to what we want right now from the ABWE administration is to submit to a third party investigation by GRACE. May you find healing in every area of your life.
Susannah
Dear Wondering:
While if what you say is true, I’m sorry for your past, I must admit that every time I see a post like yours I can’t help but ask myself if it is someone from ABWE’s administration getting on here to ask what it is exactly that is wanted in this endeavor, so that they can do just the minimum that is required.
I cannot speak for Susannah. She has already spoken for herself.
But I can tell you that really, until the truth is fully revealed in this matter (how many lives were literally touched by this sin, how many people at ABWE knew it was going on and when, etc.) I don’t think any of the MKs involved will actually know “what they want.”
And they do not need to explain their desire for truth to anyone. Maybe the truth will set us free.
So for anyone else who would come on here and suggest that forgiveness is the only way to make peace, I say: Perhaps you give up too easily.
Why should we not want forgiveness and truth? Why should we not want truth and repentance? Why should we not want repentance and justice? Why should we not want all of these things? These are the things that God loves. Why should we not continue to seek all of them?
Are you worried about ABWE? ABWE got themselves into this mess, and they can get themselves out. It does not fall to any MK who was touched by Donn Ketcham to protect ABWE. ABWE did not protect them.
God is bigger than ABWE’s ego. The gospel will still be preached far and wide with or without them. There are plenty of good mission boards out there who take morality, responsibility and legalities very seriously.
Read this verse today and thought of everyone:
Psalm 45:4
In your majesty ride forth victoriously
in the cause of truth, humility and justice;
let your right hand achieve awesome deeds.
TRUTH, HUMILITY, and JUSTICE! God loves them all. That is what is needed. On everyone’s part. May God grant everyone the grace to humble themselves, tell the truth, and may justice bring peace to the victim’s!
I am getting the feeling that this is going to be much bigger than Susie ever intended. God has a way of doing that!!!
Do you work for ABWE, Ms. or Mr. Wondering? Because I don’t understand why an outsider would need the answers to those questions.
Do any of these women really need to explain what they want out of this to YOU just so you can “understand”? If anyone would understand the simple need for some truth and closure, I would think it would be a fellow victim. Do you think these women really owe you an explanation of what they want out of this?
Do they owe that to anyone besides their Lord right now? Let’s take wanting TRUTH as a starting point and then once we actually ATTAIN that … THEN we can start figuring out what else might be needed in this situation.
Dear Wondering,
I know you are trying to be gentle in your message and that is appreciated. However, what you do not realize is that pedophilia is not just a sin it is a CRIME and needs to be dealt with accordingly. This really should not be handled by “the church” at all but the justice system as this CRIME is punishable by imprisonment followed by a permanent mark in your record that you have committed a CRIME against innocent, helpless children. Do you realize that this type of individual commits this type of crime repeatedly, all the time, in a flash of a moment like an animal and permanently damages the victim for the rest of their life? If you had ever been assaulted by a pedophile you would understand. And if you had a little girl I hope you would want to keep her from this type of irreversible harm. God does not smile on this in anyway. ABWE was notified of several instances that were fresh and new (including my assault by an ABWE missionary while he was on furlough) and the president, Dr. Wendell Kempton said he couldn’t do anything, “because it would hurt ‘his’ ministry”. (I left the name out because of investigation reasons). My question is, “who’s ministry is he talking about”. If you are a pedophile, you are clearly serving Satan and the Bible says, “no one can serve two masters.”. There may be individuals that have done good for the kingdom of heaven that happened to be paid by ABWE but to say it was ABWE as an organization is a grave mistake. Way too many obvious coverups over the years by ABWE hierarchy prove very clearly that the administration of ABWE is in collusion with pedophilia and should be prosecuted for it. ABWE is corrupt as an organization in the worst of ways I just feel sorry for those that did serve the true God in the right way and chose to be part of an organization that is involved in organized crime—pedophilia! The truth is coming out and this is the year for exposure. I am so sorry these people made the clear decision to agree with Satan to be his tools in fulfilling his assignment of evil on the innocent victims in the form of sexual abuse. The price they will pay is unfathomable! Denial of their CRIMEs only makes payday that much worse. Our prayers should be that they would GENUINELY REPENT after confession and STOP committing the CRIMEs. They need to come out of agreement with Satan and cancel their assignment with the blood of Jesus because they are still in agreement with Satan and continuing to commit these CRIMINAL acts daily. These facts are harsh but they are true and must be faced. Pray for repentance!
C.J.
The year before my family went to Bangladesh as missionaries, I had a Sunday school teacher who encouraged us to memorize Scripture. One of the first chapters I memorized was Psalm 1. It sticks with me to this day.
(Were these men serving God? or their own self interests? God didn’t need them to protect a pedophile for the “sake of the Gospel”. The Gospel speaks for itself. )
Psalm 1
Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
that person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.
Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
In God’s book, you can’t ride the fence. You’re either with Him (and assured the victory) or against Him (and there’s Hell to pay).
The choice belongs to each of us.
Choose today whom you will serve…
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
To ABWE –
Tony Beckett and Jess Eaton have both confirmed that at least two on your team knew before 1989…making the claims on your website null and void. What are you going to say to us now? Please tell us what we already know to be truth: You lied.
I see only one way out now…submit to a third party investigation and step down from your positions.
Diana Durrill
To the little girls of BD,
I know fellow missionaries and MKs have been coming out to encourage and support you and I want to let you know that we are too. So far I have not seen any pre-fielders chime in here. This could be because they are scared, they are watching and waiting to see if they need to find a new agency to serve with. I know I am!
I have been watching, reading and praying about the situation. Like BD MK in-law (March 29, 2011 at 5:35 am) I didn’t really intend to become part of the conversation because I am not part of your family. (Being a PF-er makes me somewhat of a stranger to the situation). However I do not think it is in my DNA to keep my mouth shut!
For us the deciding factor of which mission organization to serve with came down to the family. ABWE’s emphasis on the family and their willingness to support families is why we chose them.
Please understand I had no disillusions that ABWE was the perfect organization (I did not think I had them on a pedestal but sadly, I elevated that building on miracle mountain higher than it really was.)
Before coming in, we had been warned that the administration often promises more than they deliver and that the organization at times plays favorites. This we could deal with and although we did not like it, we knew that no one (or organization) is perfect.
BD Family please understand that I am not trying to take anything away from the atrocities that occurred in Bangladesh from 1970 forward. This blog is about the pain and coverup that has ensued for over 40 years while a wolf has been allowed to mingle among the flock. For (at least) 40 years DK has created damage to more lives than we will ever know. To those little girls I am sorry, I am sorry you were not protected or fought for. I am sorry that ABWE was more worried about their reputation and pocketbooks.
You brave MK’s I thank you for bringing to light DK and I believe that the Lord is going to use your strength (and this blog) to bring healing far beyond what you ever could have hoped.
I think that this blog has also revealed that Bangladesh is not the only field that has had cover ups.
As we have learned more about our future field (not Bangladesh) there has been this avoidance about “some major event” that happened over 20 years ago. We have no clue what “IT” is, or “WHAT” transpired. Despite the best efforts of those on the field to get information and understand what transpired, the administration continues to remain silent. “It” seemed like a small issue before – or was implied to be so, but how can we know? How do we not know if there is another DK lingering waiting for our children?
As has been stated before this is ABWE’s chance to clean the closet- and get EVERY skeleton out of there. No matter how it makes them LOOK. Or what they think the donors and supporting churches will THINK.
Tara MK (March 29, 2011 at 10:21 pm) hit this right on the head. There has to be a change from the inside for ABWE! This is the ONLY thing that will bring any healing for those who have suffered for so long. It will also be the ONLY thing that will provide peace of mind to any present (AND FUTURE) missionaries that ABWE will correct their mistakes and that they will address the hard issues.
ABWE has been wrong and they have their chance to come clean. ABWE now is your chance to clean out that closet.
I can only speak for myself, but I would much rather serve under an organization has a horribly tainted reputation to the outside world, but righted their wrongs, than to serve under some an organization that is so intent on appearing squeaky clean that they do not care how many people they throw under the bus.
From what I understand over the years ABWE has told many to “take one for the team.” Well ABWE here is your chance. How much does this team, these people, those children and integrity mean to you? Are they really more important than your reputation and your pocketbook?
ABWE now is your chance! Anything you withhold at this point with regards to ANY other “incidents” in ANY other fields (both open and closed) will be considered intentionally covered up. In the same way DK admitted to “A” affair but chose not to disclose the molestation, abuse and other affairs that occurred you are essentially signing a similar statement. You will be choosing to only admit to what you have BEEN caught doing, not EVERYTHING you have done.
Please ABWE, please!!!! Show that you do value your missionaries and Mk’s more than your reputation or pocketbook and allow GRACE to do a full and complete examination of ALL of the entire association and look in all the closets and under all the rugs.
Objective medical information: First thank you to the doctors who have posted medical exam information. It is essential that the victims, and others, see what standard and acceptable medical practice is, so they can discern the severe aberrations which occurred regularly in teen age girl exams at the Hospital in Bangladesh. I am looking at 6 different teens charts from the Hospital in the 1970’s. Ages vary from 13 to 17. All were routine physical exams. All are noted “instructed in self breast exam.” That necessarily implies that a breast exam was done. The 5 doctors (so far) posting here have indicated that breast exams in teens like this are not done on a routine physical, unless there is breast disease. Obviously breast self exam is also not taught, as one has to do the exam to teach it. Girls do not get breast cancer at that age—or hardly ever until after 30 years of age. The Malumghat Hospital standard was way outside of normal standard. Additionally, I had 2 mothers tell me they were present (good) when the doctor did, first, the breast exam on their daughters, and, then, the teaching of breast self exam, explaining all the while how necessary it was. The five doctors posting here have stated plainly they did not/do not do routine breast exams on girls of this age. Who of you (or your daughter) has had a breast exam, and been taught breast self exam, in the states before you were 18?
A number of the (then) teens stated they were required to be totally naked for the routine physical exams. They said how they hated it. No wonder. The 5 doctors posting here have stated plainly the care they take not to have a woman, esp a teen, naked at any time for routine exams. Again, the Malumghat standard of care for teen physicals was way different from what is generally accepted and practiced.
We invite doctors or nurses with relevant observations on these notes on routine physical exams, please post them. We value your discussion. And we want the women victims to know that if they felt their privacy was severely violated, there are plenty of us doctors who agree.
Dr. Joe DeCook
Our hearts are heavy today and so sorry for each one of you who have suffered all these years. We pray that each of you and your families (and extended Bangladesh family) would be comforted by the all-powerful God during this very difficult time – we thank you for standing up and speaking truth. We continue to pray with love. Uncle Jim and Aunt Marilou
I wish that I could take comfort in such vague references to prayer and healing from those who work for the current administration at ABWE.
Do not think that by simply adding your name here you have stood up for what is right and will have shown solidarity with your Bangladesh family. To do that, you must make your support of your “nieces” clear. Take a cue from George Collins who put his job on the line by doing so.
I believe by thanking the victims for speaking out, they are standing up for you. Let’s not attack everyone from the administration that bravely posts here. Those were kind and loving words and don’t deserve a hostile answer.
I second Concerned’s words. I have to say I have been a bit disappointed in the angry responses toward those currently with ABWE and in BD who have posted here trying to offer prayers and support. I can only imagine that they are hurting over the horrendous crimes they did not know about and that now affects them through association with ABWE and their work in BD, as well as grieving for the victims.
I understand that you may feel it is inadequate- but maybe that is all they can articulate at this point.
We can no longer remain silent, I want you wonderful people to know that I have read every post, and while I know only a few of you my heart weeps for all of you. Its time that Churches joined your efforts. I call on all our churches with great love and humility to demand answers and transparency from ABWE. For our churches to remain silent and to do nothing is a response laced with nothing less then the poison of apathy.
I have written ABWE many letters and have received no response except for a link to their 4 questions answered. Am I to believe that these are the 4 questions that we wanted answered. All of my question still remain unanswered to this day. As I read this blog the silence of ABWE is deafening. ABWE I’m sorry but what you are doing speaks so loudly we cannot hear what you are saying.
I post this humble letter only as an effort of accountability. I beg my fellow pastors to join these dear people for the truth. For if we do not, How shall we stand in our pulpits and proclaim the importance of truth. How will be pray to our Father when we turn a blind eye to our sisters. I fear that until the churches and their leadership begin to speak. The silence will only continue. I will pray for all of you including ABWE. May God be Glorified in all our lives. I write this with humility knowing that their is so much in my own life that I could do to bring more Glory to my Father. If nothing else you good people have stirred my soul to be broken before the Lord
Dear Tony,
Thank you for responding to some questions on your website. I just have a couple more and I will leave you alone. If you would please reply to these by April 1, 2011 it would be of great help for us as our Missions Committee will be meeting mid-April.
1. Will there be a third party (Independent investigation) of ABWE’s ministry to make sure that there are not other accusations regarding existing national Pastors or traditional missionaries that are still serving under the ABWE ministry?
2. Will ABWE continue with its current leadership or will they seek new leadership from the top down to correct and maintain a spirit of accountability, transparency, and trust?
3. If the answer to the two above questions is “No”: will ABWE allow a smooth transfer of our missionaries to transition out of ABWE to a mission agency of “like faith and practice” so that our missionaries’ ministries are not interrupted in any major way?
Thank you, your prompt response will be greatly appreciated as it will help our church make future decisions. You continue to be in our prayers. Our hope is that we can continue with ABWE, however, with all honesty, we do not see this as a possibility unless the first two questions are addressed.
May God grant you wisdom,
Pastor Brett A. Boomsma
Trinity Baptist Church
Pastor, thank you for your comments and questions to ABWE on behalf of these ladies. My wife Pam, and I, served with ABWE in the Philippines from 1981-2003. Over those years we did see favoritism within the mission and experienced it ourselves.
These ladies are the victims and not the guilty party. I hope many other Pastors and churches will come on board and demand a third party (Independent investigation) of ABWE’s ministry to make sure that there are not other accusations regarding existing national Pastors or traditional missionaries that are still serving under the ABWE ministry? Their trust and respect has been lost.
Sex offenders are master manipulators. I have known Loftis since college. We resigned the mission early in his administration. This cover up of child molestation is appalling to Pam and I and the wrongs need to be righted. It is time for a “shake up” in the organization. I hope they will they seek new leadership from the top down to correct the sin and cover up and that hopefully will lead to a restoration of a spirit of accountability, transparency, and trust?
I also have written to several people in leadership and so far the responses are not good enough. Thanks Jim for your message. I will forward it on to the committee that is doing the follow up. Or, Thanks, Jim. We are going through a very difficult time, as you can imagine. Please keep praying for us.
These responses are not enough. It is way past time to deal with the sin that has been committed against these precious ladies and their families.
Pastor Boomsma
Last evening I read a story in our local (Grand Valley) Advance newspaper about the accusations made against this phyisician, and the response from ABWE. The article stated that Dr. Ketcham is still seeing patients locally, but the response from ABWE stated that they felt the concerns voiced by several women were credible–so I came to this website to get a broader perspective of the issue. I am not a MK; I am not a Baptist.
ABWE, please take note–this issue has gone way beyond your internal organization. As it should.
Pastor Boomsma, thank you for your repsonse and recommendations to ABWE. The issue of accountability is one that all of us need to pay attention to. Certainly DK has huge accountability; and from an observer’s perspective ABWE has an even higher level of accountability. To promote a culture of silence 20 years ago was wrong on so many levels. To continue to backpedal, weave and dodge the issue is incomprehensible.
Churches that have provided support to ABWE now have full knowledge of the culture that has continued to exist within the ABWE organization. There are no excuses; it is time for supporting churches to step forward and demand transparency. It’s an accountabilty issue for these churches now as well. Otherwise, you have just become part of the problem. An independent investigation should be exactly what ABWE would want to have happen, so that they can fully know all of the hidden issues, and organizational blind spots. I’m not sure how an organizaiton can express concern for children that were abused, and not take this step. Supporting churches, please voice your concern to ABWE.
Pastor Boomsma-I applaud your courage in posting on this blog, and have much respect for the people that have shared their painful stories. Even though I’m not directly connected, we know that public forums like this can, well, change the world–right?
Perhaps we have gone too far away from the example God provides in the New Testament for sending missionaries. We are not told to create mission agencies, but rather we see the early local church sending those who are called to missions. Perhaps this is because the church is a more direct avenue for caring support, accountability and corrective discipline.
Like government, bureaucracies tend to grow and seek to protect themselves. There seems to be no other reason for ABWE’s early actions. Were they seeking truth? Justice? Protecting the little and helpless ones so dear to God’s heart? Seeking to spread the gospel by letting loose a lion who they knew to devour innocent victims and in so doing crumble children’s faith in a loving God? None of this is consistent with promoting the gospel.
Imagine if the sending church had been responsible for the fully informed discipline of Dr. Ketcham. The disciplinary outcome and protective measures would likely have been much better, and Dr. Ketcham would likely not have continued to be revered and given a platform for further abuse and to mock the justice, truth and goodness of God with his pulpit appearances. I believe the sending church’s pastor would have sought to protect the little ones in his congregation from abuse…he was their shepherd, and to encourage Dr. Ketcham to fully and truly repent, he was also Dr. Ketcham’s shepherd.
The good work being attributed to ABWE is good work which should also be attributed to God’s servants working for Him around the world. God has blessed His missionaries’ work in spite of sin and cover up being in the camp of ABWE for many years. The reach of the gospel is due to the power of God, and He will continue to work out His plan until Christ’s return. We need not fear calling sin sin and seeking justice and truth. God is a God of justice and truth, and is able to complete His work. Perhaps a beautiful outcome of this situation (along with others) would be a strengthening of the role of the sending church in missions.
Your point is well made. Let’s hope churches all across America find it in themselves to set up their own “mission agency” in house. That leaves the accountability as God intended…fully and completely within the local church.
Thank you for that comment.
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Most of you I’ve never met, though some of your names are familiar to me because I grew up in an ABWE supporting church. We are united here in this virtual place to add our voices, to show love and support and respect for these beloved women and to unanimously ask, no demand that ABWE come clean and let the Truth be known. Your compassionate, strong words have made me weep in sadness for those hurting and for joy that this is finally seeing the light of day.
I believe that there is a dark stronghold here that is suppressing the truth. It has been mentioned at least once I believe, that we are occupied in a spiritual battle. Why else would it be so difficult for an organization to want to do the right thing? But I do know that ABWE is not alone. Great sin has run rampant in the Church, hidden and covered up, excused and wrongfully protected by using scripture out of context.
This must stop! And I pray that it begins here.
I Peter says that judgement is coming and it will begin in the church:
“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” I Peter 4:17
These crimes have been hidden for far too long and at the expense of far too many innocent lives; now I ask, “Is judgement coming?”
In Matthew 17:21 after the disciples had asked Jesus why they couldn’t cast out the demon, He replied, ” . . . this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.”
Let’s break down this stronghold by prayer and fasting! I would like to encourage a day of prayer and fasting among all of us here on this blog who care about this situation. Prepare your hearts with me, today confessing and repenting of any known and unknown sins, that we may be worthy vessels. Then please fast and pray with me, interceding on behalf of these women and their families and praying for justice. Pray that ABWE will allow a third party investigation and that they will implement the necessary changes that will show that they are repentant and serious. That they will let the whole truth be known. Pray for these brave women and their families. Pray for those who are struggling even now to tell their story.
There is power in numbers! Please let us join together and make Wednesday a day of prayer and fasting.
Tara and Diana you are Right.
It is time for all involved in this cover up to Resign from there position in ABWE.
Michael Loftis it is time to be a leader, RESIGN and take the others involved with you.
(Tony Beckett, Russ Lloyd, and Don Davis) it is time to go…Bye
MODERATOR’S EDIT: This note was not from Susannah, the writer is unknown at this time, and this post will eventually be removed after people have had a chance to see updated information that it was not from her. — Tam.
Because of the isaiah 618 identifier it appears this was from Susannah. I checked — it was not. It would be well if the right name is added so there are no misunderstandings.
It was not me either, Mel. I’ll do some checking. We now have a team of moderators to lift the burden. Until then, I’ll try to edit the note to reflect that it was not her. Thanks for clarifying.
– Tamara Barrick Rice
Really tired of people coming on here and asking what the point of all of this is. “What is it you want? Do you want money? Do you want someone to be fired?” These questions make me crazy.
A grievous sin was committed again and again and again and again, girl after girl after girl …
Let the MKs get some answers, PLEASE. Let them figure out how deep and how wide this gap between right and wrong really was in regard to both ABWE and Donn Ketcham before you start asking them what it is they want.
Is truth really such a tall order, that it should be questioned so by people who claim to believe in it?
What do the victims want? They want the truth! They want the guilty parties to confess and repent. They want to tell their stories and be believed. They want ABWE to say, “We are guilty of DK’s sin also because we stood by and did nothing, then tried to cover up our doing nothing.”
In Michigan, if parents know their children are being abused and do nothing they can lose the children and their parental rights. They are accused of “failure to protect.” ABWE is guilty of failing to protect innocent children!
I can no longer find who said it. But the comparison was too accurate to be glossed over and must be repeated.
Donn Ketcham was caught in 1989, because a little girl would not be quiet. ABWE got caught in 2011 because another little girl, all grown up, and all the other grown up girls around her, would not be quiet. And just like Donn Ketcham in 1989, ABWE came to us confessing with half-truths (#1 on their answer page) and bad excuses (#4).
ABWE, stop taking your cues from a pedophile. Seek a higher model of integrity. And thank you, to whoever it was in these hundreds of comments who originally pointed out the creepy similarities!
Susannah, I am SO encouraged by what I have been reading tonight. God is doing a WORK!! You and my other dear hurting sisters are on my heart each day. Praying for renewed strength each hour.
I just wanted to make an offer to all of my beloved cousins (BD MKs). I know quite a few of you are already a part of this, but several years ago I started a Facebook group for Bangladesh ABWE MKs. It is called “Bangladesh MKs – Mgt & Ctg”. I would like to let everyone know that if they would like to have a “just us” discussion please feel free to use the group discussion page. It is a closed group so anything said there will just be between us MKs. If you are not a part yet, please just make a request to join and I will get you in asap. I started the page as a way to help us all reconnect and be able to encourage one another. What better time than now to use it for such a purpose!?
I forgot to post previously. I am Tami (Weber) Cernetic.
We are extremely impressed by the many outstanding, eloquent responses especially of you now-grown MK’s. We feel inept to respond adequately. The truth in the past was shrouded in ambiguity making amends impossible. No more. Now we know. We have spent the past 5 nights agonizing over this and trying to write and to respond.
Our hearts ache with sadness at the shame and loss of innocence some of you MK’s were subjected to, the extremely severe pain your families have endured, and your feeling of betrayal by those of us who appeared to stand by silently. And now the outcries of the many additional MK’s have shaken us to the core!
Susannah Goddard Weldy, thank you for what you wrote, although it made our hearts sink and tears flow again! You gave a story: “We were little girls splashing in the warm ocean, enjoying the hot sun on our backs as we giggled and ran after each other. Never more than one step apart, we were having the time of our lives. Without warning, a HUGE wave crashed upon us. The undertow pulled us under… OUR FRIENDS STOOD BY AND WATCHED IN SILENCE! I lost my best friend that day. I miss her.”
We were struck with the awful realization that we were those friends you dear MK’s could think were just standing by watching in silence. But we were not JUST standing there. We were sobbing. We were struggling to go help but there were CHAINS holding us back and we felt useless, inept, and frustrated. What were those chains? You know them. You have named them. We wanted to scream but the chain of “SILENCE” (don’t talk about it) tightened around our throats and mouths. The chain of “NOT YOUR BUSINESS” handcuffed us, and the chain of “FEARS” (of being guilty of gossip and of damaging the name of Christ) was the final gag.
Susannah, your simple, powerful parable enabled us to see how the hurting MK’s and family members must have felt betrayed by the rest of us thinking we were not only non-supportive but some even imagined us supportive of the perpetrator. How repulsive.
Dear MK daughters, we are thankful you have communicated and exposed the truth. We value you, admire your courage, and commend your efforts. We expect ABWE to take the steps you have clearly and thoughtfully laid out for them. We will write to them on your behalf.
Thank you, “The Pain in our BD MK hearts” You gave an excellent description of “third culture.” It IS a marvelous thing but there must be more watchfulness in the “camp.” You have sounded the alarm. Many, many MK’s have wonderful memories. That special legacy must be allowed to continue, but with that, adults must be better equipped how to be alert and attentive. What is happening now, I hope, will bring about that result for all the next generation of precious children.
We feel terrible about what happened to you. We love you for who you are and will continue to pray for you. Uncle Jack and Aunt Margaret Archibald
Aunt Margaret and Uncle Jack,
Thank you for your letter here. I know this weighed heavily on you. It brought tears to my eyes. You have to know what it meant to those of us who were touched by this man at any point at any time in any way and are processing a lot right now, to know that you care so deeply. So thank you for the gift of your support and concern and love. And I’m so grateful that letters here from all the MKs, like Susannah Goddard Weldy’s which you mentioned, that have moved hearts to action by putting eloquent words to the pain.
–Tamara
To the women who have been victims: What WAS the medical protocol for physical exams on teenagers at Malumghat Hospital from 1970 to at least 1980. I was assigned as a doctor to the hospital during that time, and I am now telling you things I knew nothing about until this week. Why? I was not assigned to do routine physical exams on the teenagers.
I have in front of me copies of 6 physical exams done on girls between 13 and 17 years old, between 1970 and 1980. All six note “instructed in breast self exam.” This means a breast exam was done as well. You teach a breast self-exam by doing a breast exam. You have on this blogsite the testimony of 5 doctors, an obgyn, pediatrician, family practitioner, 2 general surgeons. All of them state that they did not or would not do a breast exam on a teenager under 18 unless it was a premarital exam or there was some kind of breast problem. Breast cancer is not seen in teens, rarely before 30 years of age. Yet all of these girls have a breast exam noted. The standard of care at Malumghat for teen physicals was very different from what we know here in the states.
Secondly, a number of teens have noted that they had to be stark naked for their routine physicals. How they hated those physicals! Understandably. The 5 doctors on this blog have noted that a routine physical exam on a teen can be easily done without the teen being totally naked. In fact , we are particularly careful to keep the woman as covered as possible. Routine physical exams at that age do not call for pelvic exams.
To the women who have been victims of these very questionable standards for routine physical exams at Malumghat Hospital: Do you feel your privacy and your intimate personhood were violated in these exams? Plenty of us doctors will agree with you. It is not your imagination.
Yes….we are all realizing that we were sexually abused, too. We did feel uncomfortable, but what were we to think? We were trusting in our physician and he knew best. Only when we became grown adults and experienced genuine medical care here in the US did we realized that what he did was out of the norm. And for some of us….it took having adolescent daughters for it to “ring a bell” in our memories and alert us that something just wasn’t right all those years ago. The number of victims with varying levels of violation is increasing daily.
Dr DeCook,
I am unsure it your letter was defending DK by saying he was following proper procedure or if it was criticizing him, meaning those reports were Donn’s, so I’m saying this very objectively…
Charting what is done for a patient must be very precise and thorough, always imagining that you are on a witness stand defending your care for them with what you have written.
If it were charted ‘instructed in self breast exam”, that would mean only that the patient was told how to do it. The health care provider would be leaving himself wide open if he did not state an exam was done and chart the results of the exam.
Maybe things were more lax in BD, but I would not take that statement to mean an exam was done.
Diane Eleveld, first thank you so much for your concern and your diving in here. You are appreciated and a valued voice.
I do want to tell you though that Uncle Joe has been nothing but supportive to the MKs seeking truth, and behind the scenes has been helping me (for one … maybe others too) figure out what was and was not appropriate. He is a man of logic but also compassion, and we’re grateful for his voice here as a former Malumghat physician and uncle.
– Tamara
– Tamara
I have worked at a small hospital lab since leaving Grand Rapids in 1985. I grew up going to a pediatrician and I had no pelvic exams until I was engaged, I was never naked, I don’t recall any breast exams and my mother was always present.
When I came to this small hospital there was a physician whose reputation had deteriorated because of his pain prescription practices and for us in the hospital because we felt his personal touches were lingering and invaded our space. There was a complaint brought to the State police about him from his patients and they sent a female police officer for a routine physical. The prosecuting attorney brought a case against this physician because of the testimony of the officer and her testimony was reported in the local paper.
Of all the questions about the character of this doctor, the testimony that was the most damning was in regard to the breast exam. It was extended and embarrassing to this ADULT FEMALE POLICE OFFICER. This trial did not result in prison time, but he was censured by the medical board with his license revoked for a period of time. He came back and practiced with only a few patients for a brief time and then left this community. I hope not to commit crimes in another location.
Ladies, if you feel in your heart that you were violated, that something was fishy, let me assure you that your intuition is correct.
Drs. Loftis and Beckett,
Undoubtedly these past few weeks have brought agony to many people, including you. However, the hurt and betrayal many of us have experienced in the recent weeks is nothing compared to what the victims of DK have endured over the past four to five decades. Their pain is something I can’t fully grasp, but my heart aches for each and every one of them. My heart also aches for our beloved aunts and uncles who feel ashamed at their lack of boldness in fully approaching this matter. What a daunting task for any adult missionary or MK to burden the fight against ABWE, a large organization who has perpetually down played the criminal actions of one of its members. Yet I am thankful for those who have been brave enough to see this through and also for those who stand along side those whose hurt we can’t fathom. I trust in time you, too, will see how the courage of these women and supporters far outweighs the cowardice of ABWE’s administration.
As a female Bangladesh MK, I would like to know why those of us who were on the field at the same time as DK were never asked whether or not we were affected by his actions. (Please do not say that you did not have my contact information; after all, I receive plenty of monetary donation requests from ABWE.) I understand it is easy to take a passive role and to assume that if no one else spoke, than no one else must have been victimized. Yet your role as the governing body mandates that it was — and still is! — your responsibility to ensure that no one else has been affected by the grotesque sin of DK. Since neither of you were part of the administration during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, perhaps the best person to address this is Russ Ebersole or Russ Lloyd. Are either available and willing to help answer this? And if not, why not?
Your recent posts indicate that you realize sin was committed on your part. We can rejoice together that God’s grace is bigger than our sin; and I am anxious to see how He is going to bring glory to Himself through this. However, I believe prior to that, there is still more pain to be had.
Being a physician, one way I often understand life is through medical analogies. (A bit strange, I know, but bear with me.) I imagine ABWE’s first hearing of DK’s sin as the start of a abscess. Initially, it was “just” a sore that ABWE tried to dismiss. Yet over time, it grew and became infected. More time passed and the other symptoms that accompany an infection were ignored. It was painful, yet who cared. There were other things that needed to be done and there was no time to take care of this “nuisance.” Time after time the sore was neglected. The abscess festered so long that others started to notice the stench, and still nothing was done. Now here we are, with an enormous infection — an infection that could have been prevented had help been sought after early in the beginning — that has led to necrosis. And now the only way to treat this is to do an incision & drainage. Nothing else will work. And so Dr. Loftis and Dr. Beckett, I ask you to humbly hand the scalpel to GRACE. Let them make the painful, but necessary, incision to drain the thick, nasty pus that has been building up. This isn’t about restoring a reputation, it’s about regaining health. Do your part to help relieve some of the pain and suffering and to start the healing process. And as you do so, place all pride aside and boldly step up to the call of 2 Timothy 2:15. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”
In eager anticipation of seeing truth rightly handled,
Rachel Golin
Thanks, J&M Archibald-most of what we were trying to say!!! Rachel G.-a great analogy. I’ve written Tony B. but I’d like to say publicly, ABWE needs to do whatever they can to satisfy the MK’s-“the mess will never be completely cleared up until eternity”-. In the meantime, I believe and pray that ABWE can be salvaged and continue to have a great impact-a greater impact-but it will take time. Unfortunately this came up suddenly for many. However, it should not “take time” to get started on this process. We must pray! pray! pray! God’s will be done.
It did not come up suddenly to those at the top. They have been asked repeatedly through the years (yes, this includes Michael Loftis) to do what is right. Within the last 12 months they knew full well that a storm was brewing and they did nothing but “batten down the hatches”.
It cannot totally be healed this side of heaven…there will always be scars…but it can be much better. ABWE can be salvaged only by a change up from the top down. That is my opinion and the opinion of many others on here.
Thank you, Trinity, for stepping out. You have been such faithful supporters in so many ways, for so many years. May God give wisdom and grace. Ironically, it was DK who recommended to Trinity that they support us instead of him back in ’63 when we were on deputation because we were needed on the field to help set up the hospital lab and teach the MK’s and he already had his support. He did a great thing for us!
While looking through ABWE’s website, I couldn’t help but notice that in their prayer request section, not a word of this is mentioned. I guess they don’t feel this matter is important enough to bring before the Lord.
I know! That has been noticed for sure. BTW – there have been well over 50,000 hits on this site. I bet on there have been oodles of extra hits in theirs as well. Why would they not want to communicate that this is of utmost importance to them? That this is something they NEED God’s help with so PLEASE PRAY. I don’t get it. Another thing I don’t get – why leave the “Answers to Common Questions” up when they know and admit that it missed the mark so badly? Why not take it down? I’m stumped.
I am dedicating this song to the most beautiful women in the world, the ones who have suffered so much because of senseless acts of evil. You are strong and courageous. And through your righteous anger you have brought light to a very dark place. I am so proud of you!
Beautiful (Mercy Me)
Days will come when you don’t have the strength
And all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They’d see too much
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You’re beautiful
Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You’re beautiful
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die!
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
In His eyes
You’re beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You’re beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His
What a great song for this situation. I heard it on WCSG today while I was sitting in my car praying for all of this. I immediately thought of your post.
I heard this song, just today, coming home from work. Immediately my thoughts turned to you, to all of you who were scarred by DK’s sins of commission and by ABWE’s sin of turning a blind eye to the truth, a sin of omission. As I drove, I wished somehow I could send you this song. God heard my thoughts and here it is. I hope you take a moment to listen to the song. It is your song.
Do I grieve for the MK’s and their families? YES I do (I’m an MK too)
Am I beyond words to describe my thoughts towards pedophiles? YES
Do I think ABWE should submit to a third party investigation? YES! And I support choosing G.R.A.C.E. partly because that apparently is who the victims trust
Am I grieved by the repeated mishandling of this situation by ABWE? YES!
Am I thrilled with the outpouring of support and compassion towards the victims and families? YES!
I am I glad there is such a large cohesive Balngladesh “family” as a support system? YES!
Do I believe the victim stories? YES! Even the “hazy” ones.
Am I proud of the courage victims display by telling their stories? YES!
Do I understand what they are going through? NO. I was molested as a child by someone in a “power and authority” position but my experience was in no way near the magnitude that was experienced here. My point is that I acknowledge my limited understanding / experience of your pain
Do I bath this in prayer? YES! I know many of you personally so my prayers are often specifically naming you in my prayers
I could go on but hopefully I made my point… I am a supportive person of the owners and intent of this blog.
Given all that I am compelled to speak up on one thing that has been nagging at me. On one hand there is great frustration and feelings of insult at the inadequate responses so far from ABWE… But on the other hand there are expectations that ABWE act immediately and swiftly. They did that on a couple occasions and didn’t have their facts right and was a further disappointment. Yet I see demands that they act and respond quicker. But if they do they are sure to blunder it again. I speak to comments such as “tick tock tick tock..” or request to have solutions in place in the next few days (by 4/1 on one request. I ask that people give a little room for them. They said they are working on it. Let’s let them have some time
I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about motives. There is a lot of speculations about ABWE’s heart and motives. I just feel that they are not going to please you no matter what they do. I think they need time to respond more properly. Granted, there are decades of problems. Granted this blog has forced things to light, you accomplished a lot, this blog is seeing more success than seen over a couple decades. But this wake up call has caught them off guard and they can fix it in a week or two. I AGREE the best thing is to make their next step a third party investigation. But I don’t think a “bully” tactic is the best way to go. BY ALL MEANS Continue to request they submit to a third party investigation and write them letters and don’t let up. But I plead for the few of you who are doing so with a tone of what I perceive to be impatient hatred to rethink your tone and how you come across. Please see examples of your parents, “aunts,” and” uncles”. They have countless times on this blog spoken with great conviction and with strong words but in a tone that I think would be pleasing to God. The world is watching and I fear the few angry, bully toned posts will discredit and overshadow the many strong firm toned posts. I believe the majority of posts are appropriately and firmly stated but 10% of posts frankly bring dishonor to the name of God. And it is not the content or intent that is dishonoring, rather it is the tone in which I am embarrassed to be associated as one of you… An MK who has been wronged themselves.
I know this will probably infuriate some, being confronted is not easy. I just hope you listen with a humble heart. I support the “turning over the money changers tables in the temple” and i think this blog has done this. I am just saddened by the tone of the few posts that I think takes it too far. Of course I realize who am I to judge if your anger is righteous or not? I am making an observation. If after reading this you are mistaken about my support please reread the beginning of this post. I think the best way to seek justice for our sisters who were wronged is to not shoot ourselves in our own foot with a poor tone as we go about it.
To “A concerned Mk Who Is Really on Your Side”,
I do not agree with you. ABWE has had 40 years to think about what they are going to do. They should have taken care of it when the first incident happened. Here we go sugar coating it again! They should have been ready for this knowing the possibilities that it would happen. There are enough of them on the board and in the home office that know what has taken place for years. They have no reason to go back to the files and read. They are just wasting time. They know what they should do and are just buying time. Why? As it was stated before tick…tock…tick…tock. We all are waiting! The longer we wait the worse they look!
To concerned MK who is on our side…I repeat:
It did not come up suddenly to those at the top. They have been asked repeatedly through the years (yes, this includes Michael Loftis) to do what is right. **Within the last 12 months they knew full well that a storm was brewing and they did nothing but “batten down the hatches”.**
If I can add to Anne’s and Diana’s response to “concerned MK who is on our side” – It is not unreasonable to expect ABWE to act swiftly and immediately. All they need to do is tell the truth. When my daughter is caught in a lie, it takes but a moment for her to decide what she’s going to do. She either immediately confesses and tells the truth, or she delays, trying to find another way out. The truth is ALWAYS the easiest thing to remember, and would be the quickest response possible.
I think although the current administration has had time, I would hope they would take time and carefully go through everything they know in the situation before responding with action. It would seem that some of the previous responses maybe happened out of a lack of understanding all that had occurred under the previous administration.
Just wanting to announce a small change:
We are now taking a team approach to the moderation of this blog. You will notice from time to time that Phil Walsh will comment or that I will comment (Tamara Barrick Rice). We will add our names to our comments, so you know who is saying what.
Just wanted to make sure the change is understood. It is simply too much for one person, and we stand united. So we will take moderation of this blog to a team level. If there happen to be any glitches in the system, please be patient with us as we try to fix them.
In the “Answers to Common Questions” on ABWE’s website, it seems answer #4 (“Was this a forced confession?”) draws the most dismay and outrage. If I put myself in Russ Ebersole’s shoes and read between the lines a little, it becomes more understandable (not more acceptable).
Russ was faced with horrible accusations against a famous, charming, popular doctor whose name is inextricably linked to that of the mission. But he could not doubt the girl’s testimony. However, there were no other witnesses, so it would be a case of “her word against mine.” What to do? We have to make the most of the girl’s testimony. What format allows the least questioning of her sincerity? Of course, her broken confession to the Lord, which they had already heard and was very compelling and named Donn Ketcham! Nobody could doubt that.
Russ’s goal was was the immediate termination of Ketcham from the field and from ABWE with as little fuss as possible. Ketcham’s goal was not to be tagged as a child-molester. They both met their goals in a “plea-bargain.” Maybe there was not a quid pro quo, but just an understanding (how else to explain the 22 years of “all quiet on the western front?”). Ketcham left without a fuss and ABWE called it “sexual misconduct.”
“This, in fact, was successful” has a note of triumph in it. By no means were they assured it could be resolved so easily. What a relief that it was! It is easy to picture mission executives rejoicing for being able to dodge a very big bullet.
We will never know if that is how it went down until the Bema Seat or an independent investigation brings the truth out before that. If that, or something like it, happened, then I say that the “confessor” was used one last time to get mission work done.
Dave – I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying. I get that you are saying it was wrong. But are you at all trying to say you “understand” Russ’ reasoning? I am disappointed in his lack of spiritual discernment if he found any way at all to justify having a child sign a document of that nature.
Why not make a report that says, “The victim reported these things…”?
Why have it written in the first person and then have her sign it?
I find myself unable to find ANY ability to “understand”.
Diana,
My point in trying on Russ Ebersoles shoes was to imagine how the deal might have gone down and seemed reasonable at the time. I think it explains why they used the “confession” format (which many have questioned) and I think it shows their concern was focused on DK and that whatever they did with your sister was convenient and effective. In other words, your sister was USED.
Dave DeCook
ABWE leaders – Priority One in the 1980s appears to have been damage control and after reading the “Answers to Common Questions” I cannot help but wonder if those priorities remain the same.
It has been said that the only thing we learn from history is that we don’t learn from history. Just look at the long list of politicians who lost very promising careers when they tried to cover up “indiscretions” so that… they wouldn’t lose their very promising careers. The future health – perhaps the very existence – of the mission may be better served in taking a cue from these individuals.
I am, quite frankly, horrified at the answer #4 “Was this a forced confession?” Do you really believe that anyone who has read this confession for themselves will find it anything other than that? To say that she was “assisted to organize her testimony and put it on paper” … isn’t this just a loosely-veiled attempt to spin what must have been a gut-wrenching, soul-traumatizing, heart-shattering ordeal for a 14 year old forced to disclose the details of her most private nightmares to you?
Dear, brave women who are finding your voices – I am terribly proud of you, horribly grieved for you and praying that you will continue to find healing and peace in the journey.
Barbara Beikert Wyer
Former ABWE MK, Philippines 1963-1973
cc: ABWE
That was my exact response when reading answer #4. Thank you for putting it perfectly down in words.
My heart is heavy as I write but I have to comment. J and ST on Sunday morning told me about your blog so I came home and with her help logged in. I am not really a computer person. I was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow as I read of your suffering and pain. I sit here now the tears are running down my cheeks as I picture you as kids playing down in Hollywood Bowl. May our lovely Lord in his goodness minister to your every need. I am praying for you. Much love, A .Jimmie
On behalf of a lot of Bdesh MK girls, I love you, Aunt Jimmie! Thank you.
Thank you so much to Uncle Joe, Uncle Dick, Uncle Bob and all MKs who are now doctors who have given input and also to Diane (Walsh) Ford who had the guts to just go ahead and rip the bandaid off. Your input has helped so many of us finally get ahold of what was done to us. Some of us have never really understood why we have certain issues. And when we would begin to wonder…well, it seemed like nothing compared to what he did to our friend(s). Now we are all processing this and you have been a huge help both on the blog and off record.
I think it might be important to note here that a few of us did not ever have the “protocol” teen breast exams that our peers — on the field with us at the same time — had. But we were small-breasted. Someone told me once regarding these exams that small-breasted meant we were “safe” — at least from that.
I just thought this might be helpful information as you look at charts.
Thank you.
While probably true, your observation makes my stomach turn.
I know there are vicitms that can’t post yet as they try and processes all that is being said. To the ones questioning about no one seeing Ketchams face…well some do recall his face and what he did.
Dr. Joe DeCook..don’t you think Ketcham used the physicals to start on the girls? He could then see how far he could go and which ones to continue to abuse. He became more crafty and confident.
To all the Walsh family….I love you and admire each post that you all make. Since I was a young child at 1st Baptist in Allegan, God has kept us close.
To the DeCook family..I respect and admire your input as well. My connection to your family goes back to 1st Baptist as well.
One thing I would like to say is that while Ketcham was responsible for abuse of innocent beautiful young girls, the work of saving lives (spiritually and physically) by the rest of the team throughout the years was not in vain. Many peoples lives were tranformed. I praise God for the work that was done there. I continue to pray for healing for wrongs done there as well.
I will not ever be able to grasp child abuse nor the sickening feeling I get when hearing about it. It is more devasting than most can ever imagine for the victims and their families.
A lot has been said on here about tone and righteous anger and what is good and what is helpful or not helpful in the words we use.
I just have to say, however, that most of the people judging the tone and the words of others have not had to deal with years and years and years of slammed doors from ABWE, of silence from ABWE, of silence from people they loved and hoped would come to their defense, of not knowing when the phone rings at an odd hour if it might be someone with news that their loved one–one of these precious victims who suffered terribly–has succeeded in ending her life.
It has been said once before, but truly, truly you have not walked in their shoes. To some of you this is all news as of last week. You have not dealt with it and tried to get resolution from ABWE for decades.
You may not have a family member whose life has been completely altered because of Donn Ketcham.
So please think about these things before you call others out on being a little too angry for your comfort zone. It is not inherently sinful to be angry, just because you aren’t comfortable with it. Maybe that’s the problem: you have a zone of comfort. These other families do not have that luxury, as they’ve been living with these truths for DECADES.
Tam,
Thank you! well said. They do not have a clue what we have gone through. I don’t even think that they could even imagine what we have had to go through as a family let alone our sister. If I could begin to tell you most of you would feel even more regret for trying to “Stick up” for ABWE.
Thanks again!
Anne
“Yes the truth is gone, and anyone who renounces evil is attacked. The Lord looked and was displeased to find there was no justice. He was amazed to see that no one intervened to help the oppressed. So he himself stepped in to save them with his strong arm, and his justice sustained him.” Isaiah 59:15-16
Very few who are writing on this blog know the full story/stories. I know some of what some of the victims and their families have gone through to be heard over the years and that it has been discouraging, disillusioning and defeating. Please remember, it took this blog to finally be heard by anyone. Some of you are defending people who knew (yes, even the current administration) and did not act. Susannah and friends have accomplished more of an “investigation” in two weeks than ABWE has done in 22 years (plus a decade or so).
Some of us are just realizing that what was done to us by our doctor was wrong. Evil. Some of us were too young when this stuff was going on to realize HOW wrong until we had our own kids. But others of us, older at the time, have had a vague feeling for years that actual damage was done. So subtly, but so regularly that it left deep scars in those we love and even in ourselves.
One series of exams my 8 year old sister had to endure left such a mark on me I wrote about it three times that week in my journal. Even as a young teen I could not help but think it was a total violation of her. It has disturbed me for 30 years. There were many more exams, but I think we later dismissed a lot because it seemed so insignificant in comparison to what others had experienced.
But over the years, my sister has struggled with anxiety and depression. (Putting on a beautiful and graceful face in spite of it all.) And then, in her 30’s she reached a point of despair.
I cannot describe to you what I felt when I heard of what my beloved sister had tried to do. I was so far away and I wanted to be by her side. I wanted to listen to her, to understand what was so bad that killing herself was so appealing.
My immediate thought was that there had been more. More than just what had bothered me years ago. But I couldn’t say anything, not on the phone. Later, when we were together, there were a few times I almost asked her (because of my own memories), but I would find I didn’t have the words. And I didn’t want to pick at a scab that seemed to be healing.
In the last two weeks, this stuff has finally come out in tears, anger, disbelief, grief.
And I know my sister is not the only one who reached that point of despair. When you read the posts of our hurting families, please remember that we ALMOST LOST THEM. Praise God, He rescued them!
Please remember that it is NOT just DK who inflicted the deep, deep wounds. Silencing the wounded just turns the pain inside. There is still so much that has not been told.
Yes. Yes, Thankful. What you have said is true and God’s Word must be repeated:
“Yes the truth is gone, and anyone who renounces evil is attacked.
The Lord looked and was displeased to find there was no justice.
He was amazed to see that no one intervened to help the oppressed.
So he himself stepped in to save them with his strong arm, and his justice sustained him.”
Isaiah 59:15-16
– Tamara
To reiterate to Thankful:
I don’t know about your family and all that you had to endure with your sister but it sounds so much like what we have had to go through. Wanting to help her but feared that it might bring up more terrible memories and make her try to commit suicide one more time. The things I/we had to do to protect her from her own self. Painful to even think about it. I knew my sister so well growing up. We were like salt and pepper. Ketchup and mustard. Ice cream and cake. You get my point. I knew her so well that I knew from the first thing in the morning that she would try to attempt suicide. I hated that I knew that but God gave me that so that I could protect her. She knew I knew. She wanted me to stay away from her. Finally, I went to college. Things changed. I got married. She went away for a couple of years and we became distant. I was hurt. My best friend, my sister. GONE! And still after we would get the calls that she was in the hospital once again. This is only a glimpse of what we have/had gone through. And I understand your feelings and I sympathies with you and hurt with you. I am sorry that you had to go through it as well. Yes, she was so far away and there was nothing I could do to help her. I wanted all this to be over. And I still do.
There IS still so much that has not been told yet. But is it our place to say? No! At least not yet! Or maybe never. That is why we need a third party investigation.
Anne Smith
Dear ones close to me have also been victims of sexual abuse, for which there will likely be no justice this side of eternity. I pray this for you, as I do for my loved ones, recognizing God is already moving in a beautiful way on your behalf…
Psalm 10[a] (from biblegateway.com)
1 Why, LORD, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
2 In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak,
who are caught in the schemes he devises.
3 He boasts about the cravings of his heart;
he blesses the greedy and reviles the LORD.
4 In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
5 His ways are always prosperous;
your laws are rejected by[b] him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
6 He says to himself, “Nothing will ever shake me.”
He swears, “No one will ever do me harm.”
7 His mouth is full of lies and threats;
trouble and evil are under his tongue.
8 He lies in wait near the villages;
from ambush he murders the innocent.
His eyes watch in secret for his victims;
9 like a lion in cover he lies in wait.
He lies in wait to catch the helpless;
he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
10 His victims are crushed, they collapse;
they fall under his strength.
11 He says to himself, “God will never notice;
he covers his face and never sees.”
12 Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
13 Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
“He won’t call me to account”?
14 But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.
16 The LORD is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
17 You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
18 defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that mere earthly mortals
will never again strike terror.
I long for the day when Christ reigns on earth and evil no longer has power here! I pray you and your sisters will find justice and healing.
Dear Susie-
This has all been a big shock to me over the last 12 hours. I never really knew you since I was (a bit) younger and in Chittagong from 1971-1982 – but now as the dad of two young girls (8 and 11) cannot fathom how your mom and dad handled it. Nor can I fathom how you dealt with this growing up.
I always looked up to Uncle Donn and admired him before I knew about all this. I really do hope that he personally asks for forgiveness from you and is truly repentant and hope he can be restored somehow. God can do it.
Dave D- I find it so sad to hear what a great influence he was on you yet how he was living a double life. I can only imagine your grief. But your faith is solid like a rock and you have continued to influence me to be a better man by your words (and Dan’s, too).
Susie- you and the others will be in our prayers. There is a bond we all have in our growing up years even if we lived 60 miles apart or were different ages.
On behalf of my wife Darlene and I –we love you and will keep you close in our thoughts and prayers.
Mark & Darlene Perrine
To the starters of this blog:
Two things are bothering me.
1. Did you first speak to Don Davis before posting the communication with him that he had requested you keep private?
2. What were the efforts towards receiving an adequate response from ABWE before beginning this blog?
I did not start this blog, however I fully support it and its purpose. To address your questions:
1. Was Don Davis contacted for permission to publish the documents?
That’s between Don Davis and Susannah, and Don is a lawyer who can take care of himself if he feels he’s been violated.
2. What were the efforts made with ABWE before starting the blog?
I realize it’s very hard to read all 400-plus comments at this point, but if you did you would discover the answers and the testimonies in this regard. Take the time to do it.
And in summary: It is my opinion that you are asking the wrong questions and are asking them of the wrong people.
— Tamara
Slow reader I guess, but I’ve now arrived at your response after 10 hours of reading what I had not previously read. (seems I still have a couple hours yet in front of me)
In that reading I see that ABWE(various in and out of office) has not done what they should have done. In my defense, (*and I think I should be allowed to defend myself) I still wish an easy-to-find clear statement was made about what was done to try to get a response from ABWE before starting this blog. It is hard to spend 10 hours (plus all night long two nights ago) of reading and sifting to gather the story.
Please note that defending myself does not mean I am your antagonist. It only means I feel attacked.
I am not a BD MK and I’ve never been sexually abused. I guess that makes me an “outsider” whose words aren’t worthy to be spoken. Outsider. Ouch. Did none of you MKs ever experience being outside the group and the hurt of being told you don’t belong? I have thought that was typical MK experience.
Back to point – I’m not a BD MK and have not been sexually abused. Nevertheless, fall-out from this has drifted onto even me. I’ve heard sin always hurts more than just the sinner. Seems it hurts even more than the sinner, those directly sinned against and the ones around them. It ripples all through the pond, and based on a few of the posts here (e.g. non-MK, non-Baptist), even beyond
I don’t know Ketchum, but heard the name. What GARB or ABWE person hasn’t? I remember hearing he left because of adultery. It isn’t Ketchum. I haven’t had trust for “spiritual giant” types for a long time. It’s not ABWE. I’m no enemy, but I’ve also not been a devoted fan. It’s individuals. It’s learning that even with all my distrust, I have still trusted too generously. I have believed their words to me. If I believe the words I am reading here, (this is NOT doubting that truth is being spoken here, I think it is being spoken here) it means that I’ve been lied to. And believed the lie. And didn’t recognize it was a lie. Again.
Regarding asking Don Davis for his permission: for me it is common courtesy, a moral trust thing. If I had agreed to keep a letter private I would be betraying my own standard to break that agreement without first speaking to the person. I might still share it, even if they don’t give their permission, but I would have at least talked to them first. But…, those are my personal standards. If I promise something and don’t keep that promise I have betrayed their trust. That’s why it bothered me. Trust.
Point well taken about a post that summarizes a few basic questions.
We may see if that can happen at some point. However, it would be difficult to put the information one can gain by reading close to 500 comments, mostly from Bangladesh missionaries and MKs, into one post. For those who care about these people because they are friends and family, it’s worth the read, and a single-post, easy-access explanation just wouldn’t quite cover it. But we will give it a shot when time allows.
–Tam
I refer you to the fanda site
http://fandaeagles.com/
– When I went there in September – and again just now, it is easy to find the purpose and why. –Just now, I received your response to me in my email and had to come here and scroll up until I found the pertinent post.
I don’t know who formatted the site. I assume it requires expertise of some sort. Maybe whoever did theirs can help, or direct you, or someone here knows how to do such a thing.
Hopefully helpful
To “An ABWE MK” You are absolutely right! I formatted the site and I know as much about computers as I know about jellyfish on the moon.(Sorry, bad attempt at humor. I’m exhausted) I simply started the site with the passion in my heart to tell the truth. Now that we are expanding the team working on the blog, others are going to help organize it. Thanks for your suggestion!
Susannah Baker
Jellyfish on the moon, that’s an intriguing picture. Made me chuckle. 🙂
Dear Mrs Eleveld, I am so sorry that my post of 3:30 at 8:28 am was not clear. I am certainly not defending Dr Ketcham. To the contrary. I tried to make clear how far from an acceptable standard of care his actions were. I have 5 experienced doctors on this blog saying a breast exam on a teen 13 to 17 is just not done on routine yearly physical exams. Nor is requiring them to be naked appropriate. Yet this was the what the girls experienced, as both they and some of their mothers have told us –(but how can your trusted doctor be doing wrong??) The mothers and the nurse confirmed to me that some of the exams took an embarrasingly long time to do, especially when combined with the teaching of breast-self-exam (which the 5 doctors also would not do in this age). Since Dr. Ketcham did the routine teen physicals (from before I got there), this was his protocol. I was simply trying to confirm to the victims that if they felt victimized by this kind of doctoring, we five doctors would agree with them. It was not their fault, and not their imagination that they had been taken advantage of. Dr. Joe DeCook
Dr DeCook,
I am sorry. Somehow out of your post, I thought you were saying Donn was following hospital protocol. Sorry, I misunderstood.
Hopefully, now is the right time to add my voice to the chorus of those who are recongnizing your incredable courage and williness to speak up and speak out as victims to your extremely painful experiences. I make no claim to know the depth of your pain and sorrow. Only those of you who were sexually abused can speak to this kind of pain. As a father of an abused victim there is a vicarious pain that is also a real pain. I suffer that pain for my daughter and for all of you who are her abused “sisters”. I look at the destruction caused to so many and stand grief stricken at how much evil one man can bring into the lives of others. Like a cancer, DK’s evil, sinful life has not only affected individuals but a strong (not perfect) mission organization as well.
I have another but closely related point to make on what appears to be the blog’s goal to destroy ABWE. Please bear with me and listen to the “Parable of the Carbuncle”. (Okay, you won’t find it in the Bible and it doesn’t really qualify to be a parable since it is a real life story) Once upon a time many years ago I had a cabuncle on/in my hand. Over a short period of time it festered, grew, was extremely painful and finally reached critical “mass”. (You have probably guessed I’m not a doctor.) I went to the doctor’s office, he took one look and pronounced — we better deal with this now or you could loose the use of that hand. His next words are implanted in my mind and were grossly understated — “this is going to hurt”. First he lanced the “head” of the infected mass and then took up his surgical scissors and proceeded to cut raw flesh inside the carbuncle until each pocket of pus was opened and draining. I wasn’t quite on my knees begging for mercy but I was very, very close. The process was SUPER PAINFUL!!! But it was also very necessary. It was absolutely essential for healing. In a few days (with antibiotics) the hand was well and back in use.
The point: The whole DK issue has been a carbuncle in the “hand” of ABWE. It has been there for years festering and causing severe pain to the victims. The blog is the surgical scissors that has publically opened up the pockets of past inadequate policies and very poor decisions and follow through. The draining process is going on and it isn’t pretty or pleasant. (For anyone, I hope) But as in the parable — this surgical procedure is not an end in itself. Healing, wholeness and restored function is the intended and sought after goal. Stay with me for 3 final points:
1. The pain of “exposure” was necessary — the first step toward healing.
2. When the goal of healing is achieved the pain also gradually becomes a distant memory.
3. Like a typical sermon — I am now at the most important and last point — the hand was infected and painful but the rest of the body was healthy and functioning. That, of course, would not have remained so if the infection had remained, spread its poison through out the body.
There is no need to deny the carbuncle poison of DK’s sin/crime has been in the “body” of ABWE. But we must not loose sight of the truth — the DK issue does not define the whole of ABWE. Then, as now, there are good and Godly missionaries, home staff and administratiors. To condemn the entire organization because there has been one extremely important issue that needed “treatment” would be a travesty of justice.
The carbuncle has been opened — the goal must now be total healing not destruction of the body. (That includes healing for each DK victim as well) If what started as a worthy goal is allowed to be turned into an instrument of unrighteous destruction everyone will be turned into loosers or should I say victims. Who will sit on his throne of evil and rebellion and laugh? I think we can all guess.
The rough draft of all the above was in my head and partially written when my wife called my attention to the blog’s call for the resignation of Dr. Loftis. Let me ask a question. We know Dr. Loftis extended a call to each Bangladesh victim to call or come in and meet heart to heart any time, any place. Has anyone done this? Without doing so how can you possibly think you know his thoughts and feeling toward you? If a call is issued from whatever source, are you ready and willing to come, share, listen and open your heart to reconciliation that doesn’t mean sweeping anything under the rug? I prayerfully hope so.
Now I plead with you. Please respond to any “open doors” before you take this whole thing over the cliff and lose the very thing you set out to accomplish. I list those as; DK brought to whatever degree of justice is still possible, bad policies and decisions exposed and admission of failure on the part of those who truly failed.
You started well and have already accomplished some significantly good things. I hope you see that it is essential to also finish well.
We really do love you more than you can ever know and hold all of you as a special treasure in our hearts. ( All spelling errors are due to my wife not correcting me — had to go take care of her 94 year old mother.)
Double PAIN
We also were missionaries in BD 1974 to 1982 as well as sent by Newhall Baptist Church just as DK’s. We have been totally shocked by all of this. Newhall Baptist, as Pastor Mike stated above did not know about the child victims. Why AWBE did you not inform the home church or us as former missionaries about this? Perhaps our life would be much different now. Our daughter, who was not quite 12 years old when we left BD, moved from GR area in 1990, a very troubled young lady. She has since changed her name, etc, etc. If she was a victim, perhaps if we had been informed in 1989 when she was still living here, we could have gotten her some help – maybe now we will never know, as she has not communicated with us for years now. ABWE you need GRACE to help these now adult women who are hurting so badly.
Kit and family you are victims too of this.
Dear Dave and Darlene,
Our hearts break for the loss you have suffered with Michelle. Only heaven knows the things that troubled this imaginative, funny, wonderful, girl. Thank you for all you have meant to us in years past. May God raise up believers all around Michelle wherever she is and be used of the Lord to lead her home. We love you.
Pastor Mike and Diane Eleveld
Mrs. Fidler –
The Durrill family commits to praying for your sweet girl. We ache for you. We, too, have gone for great lengths of time without communication. I am happy to say that it is no longer that way. God can work miracles…we’ve seen it. We pray for her and for you. I’m so, so sorry for your pain.
Diana Durrill
Darlene, since I’ve learned of this last week, I’ve been trying to find Michelle. Suddenly her acting out made so much sense. It must have been even more difficult for her to attend the same church Donn attended, and hear all the accolades sent his way (before he was dismissed). He was the spiritual hero of Newhall.
If indeed she was one of his victims, she must have felt so isolated in her grief. I’m so sorry, Darlene for all you and your family have been through. We love you all.
And Michelle, if you read this blog, please contact us or your folks. We all want to help.
Aunt Dar,
I’m so sorry. I am praying she will see this blog.
Darlene, I must admit that Michelle came to my mind within the last few hours…before I even read this post. One can only wonder why she took the road she has taken. Praying for your comfort.
What an amazing website, guys. I’m in awe of all of you who spoke up here. To those commenters who still hold to your ignorance, and I mean that in the kindest way, you should know that abuse victims almost always minimize their abuse, not embellish it.
Woe to any here who would want to further revictimize you using the name of Christ. As to those who beg you not to ‘betray’ the mission by bringing to light what what the father loves, Truth, please pick up your bibles and read the parable of the 99 and the 1. The Christ I follow made it crystal clear that protecting the ninety-nine at the expense of one is NOT of him. Do not allow yourself to believe that because of the (perceived)good ABWE is doing these marginalized MKs should hold their silence. It is a lie. I say perceived because I know very little of how ABWE operates but as a former mk of NTM I do know a little something of missions. And I know that what happened to you here at ABWE, NTM, CMA, SIM and others, the abuse and resulting coverup and the revictimization years later can not be of Christ. Instead it is about protecting the mission from shame and loss of donations and financial support, at the sake of all these lost sheep.
ABWE, you would have gained more by giving than by hoarding. By breaking your hearts for these women and pouring out love and support to them. Instead you hoarded to hold on to your supporters and donors, and it is fascinating to watch how God in his timing brings about justice and truth. It must be a slap in the face to see evidence here that these MKs, the ‘living sacrifices’ of mission boards, have more wisdom and spiritual insight than your board members, and are being used of God as true missionaries to bring the good news to all those abused. God is for us, and he would not have us be silent.
I’ m glad to see that some of the Newhall people are writing. I remember when Dr. Ketchum got up in front of the church and said that he was unfaithful to his wife and asked for forgivness…..He led everyone to believe that it was adultry. That’s what his wife thought too, I’m sure. No one blames you Pastor Eleveld, he lied to everyone.. You were an awsome pastor and you led your flock wonderfully!!!! I will pray for all of the victims…
Read ABWE’s confession right now:
http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-and-administration-confession/
— Tamara
Beloved suffering MK’s, I am praying for you all. May the everlasting arms of our Heavenly Father give you strength, comfort, and healing.
In case you have not yet seen it, ABWE has posted the following. I pray that it begins a significant step in the right direction.
http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-and-administration-confession
Dear Mel,
Although I appreciate your post, I totally and adamantly disagree with your assessment that it appears that the blog’s goal is to destroy ABWE.
If ABWE backs themselves off “the cliff” it is nobody’s fault but their own.
It sounds like you are casting the blame of ABWE’s demise upon the victims of Donn Ketcham instead of an inept administration whose trust was in men rather than God. Please tell me that is not what you are implying.
IF ABWE had done what was right in the 1970’s, and IF ABWE had done right in 1989, and IF ABWE had done right in 2002, and IF ABWE had done right regarding this situation a couple of year’s ago, and IF ABWE had done right a week ago instead of posting their utterly ridiculous responses, this would have never gotten to this point.
We completely understand that their are WONDERFUL missionaries underneath the ABWE mission board. We also completely understand that their are WONDERFUL people working at the “Miracle on the Mountain.” And, no doubt, they are being completely and utterly blind-sided by this awful information. The FACTS that prove that ABWE has continued to cover this sin for a period of 40 years MUST make them wonder what else has been covered. It is quite obvious to all that the current leadership has refused to take the scalpel to the carbuncle because it would have been too painful. Unfortunately, now the infection has spread up the arm so far that I believe amputation is necessary. Yes, the rest of the body will be affected, but it will survive. For the sake of the victims, current ABWE missionaries, and the future of ABWE, it is time for the current leadership to go. (see Pastor Brett Boomsma’s post from Trinity Baptist)
Love has not been shown and has yet to be shown by the ABWE administration to the victims or their families. If you go back and read the victims and their families posts, you will find they are crying out for LOVE. “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.” – 1 John 3:14 ESV
Why in the world would my wife, or any victim for that matter, want to get counsel from an administration who has covered up sin and allowed a pedophile to roam free????? Does that feel like a safe place for a victim to talk about these things? To even suggest such a thing is beyond me. Also, just so you are aware, neither she nor her sisters, were even at the ME conference to hear the “call” from Michael Loftis.
Regarding your question: “If a call is issued from whatever source, are you ready and willing to come, share, listen and open your heart to reconciliation that doesn’t mean sweeping anything under the rug?”
I imagine this will be the content of the immanent video presentation from Michael Loftis. The two responses ABWE has had thus far have been lies to the world. Until they tell the truth to the world then I would have to say, No, reconciliation cannot take place. We are ready and willing to forgive when the offender(s) are ready and willing to repent. Forgiveness cannot be truly given or received until TRUE repentance is made. The victims will know when the repentance is real, just as God does with those he saves.
Our prayer is that the ABWE organization survives and thrives under a new administration that will commit to transparency before God, their missionaries, and the churches they serve.
Your friend in Christ,
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
As in all written communication there are misunderstandings and your reading of my blog is an example. Not necessarily your fault — just the limitation of one way at a time communication. Now we have ABWE’s confession on the blog and this is what all of us were waiting for. How we respond in return is really the point I was trying to make. ( I was not aware of this post until just a few minutes ago so I had no idea when this point of reconciliataion would come.)
Praise God for ABWE’s admission. We are thrilled beyond words with their honesty. This is a great start towards complete reconciliation. Your point about one way communication is well taken… 🙂
ABWE Board and Administration Confession
Dear Hurting MK’s:
To our beloved MKs and your families who have suffered decades of sorrow and pain not only at the hands of Donn Ketcham but also from our mishandling of the abuse, we, the Board of ABWE and ABWE Administration ask for your forgiveness.
The Board and Administration of ABWE have spent hours reading your stories and comments, listening to the personal testimonies of some who have had first-hand knowledge of the field through the years, and searching for anything that could shed light on the actions taken by ABWE. The information is clear, and we are heartsick at what we have seen and heard.
So to each of you, dear ones, who through no fault of your own continue to live with the pain of the consequences, we ask for your forgiveness. Though we cannot ask forgiveness for the sins of others, we do humbly and sincerely ask for your forgiveness for our sins.
Concerns regarding Donn Ketcham’s repeated inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex on the field could have resulted in his termination as early as 1975, but continued indiscretions should have resulted in dismissal no later than 1985. Regrettably, we did not terminate him as a missionary but rather gave repeated opportunities for counseling and remediation which allowed him time and opportunity to sin against you. Please, please forgive us.
A precious 14-year-old child should never have been asked to sign a confession. She was the one who had been abused and sinned against. This was indeed a grievous wrong. Would you please forgive our sin against you?
No matter what the law required at the time, no matter what the outcome would have been, no matter whether it would have resulted in prosecution or loss of his medical license or not, Donn Ketcham’s pedophilia was not reported to either the law or the medical boards of any state. This was wrong. It was failure of the most serious kind. There should have been an immediate filing of reports and an on-going attempt to pursue giving the truth to appropriate authorities from 1989 to the present. This failure is simply inexcusable. It seems too much to ask, but we must ask… will you forgive us?
Knowing Donn Ketcham’s propensity to lie, we were foolish to allow him to make his confession to his sending pastor without a representative from ABWE being present. We also did not name his crime of pedophilia in our letter to supporting churches. This enabled Donn Ketcham to reveal only what he chose to reveal. Consequently, he was able to hide the ultimate crime of pedophilia from his sending church. This was so wrong. Please, forgive us.
Once the pedophilia became known in 1989, no comprehensive investigation was done to determine if there were additional victims. This was inexcusable. After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed. This was wrong. Please forgive us for this failure.
It is obvious that our leadership was greatly concerned for sparing Donn Ketcham’s family any additional public disgrace, but such concern came at the high cost of ignoring the needs of the innocent MKs and others who had suffered at his hands. While it may be considered gracious by some to have handled it discreetly, it was not gracious or compassionate towards those who were sinned against by him. It was wrong, so very wrong. We failed you. We hurt you. We are ashamed. It seems incomprehensible to even suggest that you forgive us in light of all we know now; but we must ask, if you could find it in your hearts, to please, please forgive us.
Dear ABWE MKs and families, please do not think that we now believe the matter is settled simply because we have taken ownership of our wrongs against you. This matter is not settled. It is only a first step in the right direction. There are more steps to be taken. While we will never be able to make it all right, we are committed to redressing the wrongs and making right what we can. We desire to see your faces and hear your voices. We desire to voice our apologies to you face to face and are willing to meet with any of you, anytime, in a safe setting acceptable to you.
We want to be both public and private in our apologies to each of you. That is why we are sharing this first on the blog, publicly. But we also want to be personal, specific and individual in our apologies, and so we hope with all our hearts that you will give us the opportunity to ask for your forgiveness face to face.
Dear ABWE MKs, we long to be reconciled to you. We want to do what we can to move forward together toward healing and growth. To this end we will pray and labor.
With contrite spirit and with love,
The Board and Administration of ABWE
May the Holy Spirit fill each heart as they read this. This blog has accomplished what so many thought would not happen. The first layer is being peeled back. May God continue to work in the hearts of his children. Like ABWE said this is the first step. Only the victims know what it will take to continue the process. I can only pray that this is the beginning of a healing process that God is in control of. I am still humbling praying before the Lord for everyone involved.
This is good news. I like the part that says “this matter is not settled” because that gives me hope that there is still more healing that can take place, and I believe ABWE knows that now. This is a good day. To all those who wrote to ABWE on behalf of the MKs and their families, thank you, thank you, thank you. And to all those inside ABWE who fought for this confession, thank you too. You have done a mighty deed. An enormous step in the right direction. THANK YOU!
— Tamara Barrick Rice
I echo all of my sister’s thanks. This confession sets aside the “lawyering” and gets to the heart. Thank you for telling the world. And thank you, Susannah, for getting us to finally talk about the elephant in the living room.
-Deb
I am thankful for this response, an answer to prayer! Let the forgiveness and healing begin as these sincere expressions are rapidly followed by actions! May God’s name receive the glory!
Praise the Lord for a confession that clearly and specifically names and confesses wrongdoing! I am overrun with tears. This has been a 22 year long process! The past two weeks have been brutal with today being the worst for me personally. The pain and hurt I have experienced today is nothing compared to the pain my sister and my family have felt for 22 years. God bring healing. God grants forgiving spirits faster than you can imagine. There is a long way to go…but the best part of the journey can now begin. – Diana Durrill (with Mike in full support and agreement)
Great Response Mike and Dianna! We are praying for you, every victim known, and not known, ABWE, and for the Grace of God through His people to be manifested to His Glory!
Praise God for this! Bless you Diana and all the many others who have fought so hard for truth. I pray for continued openness, forgiveness, and restoration. And for actions to follow words.
March 30, 2011
Dear Hurting MK’s:
To our beloved MKs and your families who have suffered decades of sorrow and pain not only at the hands of Donn Ketcham but also from our mishandling of the abuse, we, the Board of ABWE and ABWE Administration ask for your forgiveness.
The Board and Administration of ABWE have spent hours reading your stories and comments, listening to the personal testimonies of some who have had first-hand knowledge of the field through the years, and searching for anything that could shed light on the actions taken by ABWE. The information is clear, and we are heartsick at what we have seen and heard.
So to each of you, dear ones, who through no fault of your own continue to live with the pain of the consequences, we ask for your forgiveness. Though we cannot ask forgiveness for the sins of others, we do humbly and sincerely ask for your forgiveness for our sins.
Concerns regarding Donn Ketcham’s repeated inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex on the field could have resulted in his termination as early as 1975, but continued indiscretions should have resulted in dismissal no later than 1985. Regrettably, we did not terminate him as a missionary but rather gave repeated opportunities for counseling and remediation which allowed him time and opportunity to sin against you. Please, please forgive us.
A precious 14-year-old child should never have been asked to sign a confession. She was the one who had been abused and sinned against. This was indeed a grievous wrong. Would you please forgive our sin against you?
No matter what the law required at the time, no matter what the outcome would have been, no matter whether it would have resulted in prosecution or loss of his medical license or not, Donn Ketcham’s pedophilia was not reported to either the law or the medical boards of any state. This was wrong. It was failure of the most serious kind. There should have been an immediate filing of reports and an on-going attempt to pursue giving the truth to appropriate authorities from 1989 to the present. This failure is simply inexcusable. It seems too much to ask, but we must ask… will you forgive us?
Knowing Donn Ketcham’s propensity to lie, we were foolish to allow him to make his confession to his sending pastor without a representative from ABWE being present. We also did not name his crime of pedophilia in our letter to supporting churches. This enabled Donn Ketcham to reveal only what he chose to reveal. Consequently, he was able to hide the ultimate crime of pedophilia from his sending church. This was so wrong. Please, forgive us.
Once the pedophilia became known in 1989, no comprehensive investigation was done to determine if there were additional victims. This was inexcusable. After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed. This was wrong. Please forgive us for this failure.
It is obvious that our leadership was greatly concerned for sparing Donn Ketcham’s
family any additional public disgrace, but such concern came at the high cost of ignoring the needs of the innocent MKs and others who had suffered at his hands. While it may be considered gracious by some to have handled it discreetly, it was not gracious or compassionate towards those who were sinned against by him. It was wrong, so very wrong. We failed you. We hurt you. We are ashamed. It seems incomprehensible to even suggest that you forgive us in light of all we know now; but we must ask, if you could find it in your hearts, to please, please forgive us.
Dear ABWE MKs and families, please do not think that we now believe the matter is settled simply because we have taken ownership of our wrongs against you. This matter is not settled. It is only a first step in the right direction. There are more steps to be taken. While we will never be able to make it all right, we are committed to redressing the wrongs and making right what we can. We desire to see your faces and hear your voices. We desire to voice our apologies to you face to face and are willing to meet with any of you, anytime, in a safe setting acceptable to you.
We want to be both public and private in our apologies to each of you. That is why we are sharing this first on the blog, publicly. But we also want to be personal, specific and individual in our apologies, and so we hope with all our hearts that you will give us the opportunity to ask for your forgiveness face to face.
Dear ABWE MKs, we long to be reconciled to you. We want to do what we can to move forward together toward healing and growth. To this end we will pray and labor.
With contrite spirit and with love,
The Board and Administration of ABWE
I really don’t know what to say tonight as I sit here in tears, as Diana has stated, and read the confession from them. My heart is relieved and I feel that another step in the healing process has taken place. Thank you from my husband and I for stepping up to the plate and admitting to us and our family. I sit and think of the victims (my sisters) and have to think that they are more relieved than I am even at this. I love them very much and I am so proud of them. Why them and not me? I don’t know! My heart hurts for them. But I thank you for coming out publicly and privately and Admitting your wrong. Thank you!
>>> And to all those inside ABWE who fought for this confession, thank you too. You have done a mighty deed.
Yes – thank you.
I wait with hope for healing action to follow these words.
What a marvelous testimony to the power of the Holy Spirit. To all of the courageous women who pushed and pushed through this blog, you have done a tremendous ministry and work for the health of ABWE. God will continue to use it for your healing, theirs and all of us who have had the privilege and honor of standing with you in prayer and emails these past few days.
May God continue to bless you all!
Praise God from Whom all Blessing Flow. Thank you ABWE for coming forth and providing a much needed apology. To Mike, Diana, and all the MK’s who have shown us what it means to confront, and understand that “the truth will truly set you free.” What a Godly example you have been to all of us as we have read, cried, and prayed for the beginning of healing. We love you and continue to pray for many more steps in the healing process.
I have been watching this blog for many days. Having been in Christian work for 50 years this blog has helped to restore my faith in Christian workers. This was clearly demonstrated by ABWE’s apology and open contriteness. I have known some of those involved and also the Ketcham family. I trust many will be helped and restored. This should cause all of us to realize that honesty is still the best policy and what He honors. May God continue to bless and we know that His Grace is sufficient. Looking forward to greater blessings in the days ahead.
Thank you, moderators, MK’s, family members, and the BD aunts and uncles who stand with your girls and their families. Thank you missionaries and church members. Thank you for persistence and I will pray for endured strength as you move forward and as ABWE is taking the first steps to do right. I feel like I can sleep tonight. I am so glad you are starting to see things move in the right direction.
Sharon Miller Chambers says:
March 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Dr. Joe DeCook..don’t you think Ketcham used the physicals to start on the girls? He could then see how far he could go and which ones to continue to abuse. He became more crafty and confident.
Answer: No, Sharon, some moms think he started earlier than that, and I tend to agree.When you are the trusted doctor on the field, you get to see all ages for all kinds of reasons and illnesses, in all states of dress and undress. Dr. Joe DeCook
I am cautiously relieved and thankful for ABWE taking the first step to acknowledging their fault in all of this. I think we can only hope and pray that ABWE will continue to do what is right for the victims and their families, as well as making sure something like this NEVER happens again.
Although forgiveness is key.. may we never forget. May we always guard our hearts, and our families.
Praying for all of you and for the start of true healing.
I have been made aware tonight that I have deeply offended a newly found MK sister. By calling out her father publicly she has been hurt, understandably so. I seek her forgiveness and desire to honor her wishes. She has asked me to remove my posts about her dad and I am happy to do so. Jess Eaton and I have a lot of talking to do and I look forward to giving him a call in the morning. I hope, that if not tomorrow, shortly thereafter I can return to the blog and post that I was sorely mistaken about his character. His daughter has shared information with me that, while not new to me, demands I go back and hear his side of the story again. I was also able to share with her some of the reasons why I said what I said in my post to her father. I hope she can understand where I am coming from and grant me the time I need to dialogue with her dad.
I commit to her, and to all who read this blog, that if I was mistaken about my comments to Jess Eaton, I will publicly ask his forgiveness. And I commit to sharing with all of you that if there were legitimate offenses made toward my family, I will, in the end, share that restoration and forgiveness have taken place. I am sure that both members of my family and Jess Eaton desire for complete forgiveness to be the final outcome.
Diana Durrill
Per Diana Durrill’s request, I have removed all comments (and follow up comments) from today pertaining to Jess Eaton. Their conversation regarding the issues that were discussed here today will continue in private. The moderators apologize for posts from other parties that were removed because they mentioned this conversation.
Thanks.
— Tamara
Tamara,
If you are able to remove posts, may I suggest that you remove or correct the post that states that there is a dorm at BBC-PA named after DK?!!!!! That is a serious accusation and either malicious or ignorant misinformation.
I too was made aware this morning that I have deeply offended one of our Mk’s. To that I want to publicly apologize to her and her father (Jess Eaton) for lashing out at you. I too understand how she was hurt and ask for her forgiveness. I will be getting in contact with Uncle Jess and discussing this in detail with him and will then ask for his forgiveness.
As my sister said, “We desire complete forgiveness to be the final outcome” in all areas. I am ready to forgive and will to ask for forgiveness if i need to. We need complete restoration. Sometimes that means we need to be humble and ask for forgiveness ourselves. I am very sorry if I have offended anyone here on this blog and if I have I ask that you personally contact me at smithfamily1998@sbcglobal.net. Leave me a message to reply or a phone number and I will contact you.
Ready for healing and restoration and to be able to move on with life!
Anne (James) Smith
To: Proud BBC graduate says:
March 31, 2011 at 6:55 am
Tamara,
If you are able to remove posts, may I suggest that you remove or correct the post that states that there is a dorm at BBC-PA named after DK?!!!!! That is a serious accusation and either malicious or ignorant misinformation.
Actually – there is a dorm at BBC: Ketcham Dorm. I don’t think that it is named for DK but I believe it is named after his father. From what I understand, DK’s father was a well-known GARB member. I also attended BBC and know for a fact there is a Ketcham dorm as I dated a guy who lived there.
I hope you note in my former post that I never claimed there was no Ketcham dorm at BBC. What I did say is that it is absolutely NOT named after DK, as was stated by the original poster. I don’t know what relation Robert T. Ketcham had or did not have to DK. Nor do I really care. I only wrote to state that since this blog is pushing for truth (which I totally support), then untruths (intentional or otherwise) should be pointed out (as many have been quick to do in other areas). A quick look at the website of BBC will show that the dorm is named after Robert Ketcham. I cut and pasted this part below.
History of Ketcham
Dr. Robert Ketcham actively served the Lord both as president of the General Association of Regular Baptist Churches, and an active trustee of Baptist Bible Seminary. Dr. Ketcham is remembered as a favorite BBS chapel speaker. Ketcham Hall is named in his honor.
Please note I am NOT looking for an argument, just for the truth.
After reading the blog postings, my first thought was, “What more could I say that would be helpful”. There is safety in being quiet—or in being anonymous. There is risk in writing—risk of being misunderstood, risk of motives being questioned, and risk of causing harm when wanting to help.
Who I am not: I am not an expert who has all the answers. I am not a personal acquaintance of any of those involved in the Bangladesh situation from the 70’s & 80’s.
I am not a woman (see later reference to this). I am not an MK (however I am a PK who regularly gave up my bed and slept on the sofa as a child when missionaries stayed in our home).
Who I am: I’m a career OB/GYN who has cared for, supported, and advocated for women both in my USA practice and in third world countries where I have served. I am a husband of a faithful, loving wife (43 years!). I am the father of two wonderful daughters (and two sons-in-law) and now have the privilege of being a grandfather of four young granddaughters and one grandson. I am a born-again Christian (part of the body of Christ with you!). I am one of the Baptists who have been mentioned in blog-posts. And I am also part of ABWE . Since 1998 I have had the privilege of serving under ABWE’s Assistant Missionary Program (AMP). I have taken time from my practice and used my retirement money to make 21 trips to Togo and Bangladesh to assist career missionaries through encouragement ministries, to provide OB/GYN care to nationals (and missionary colleagues), and to help fulfill the mandate we all have from Christ—the Great Commission.
I truly love missions, I love missionaries, I love MK’s, and I love God. My motives in writing are to show love and support those who have been victims and to hopefully help bring healing. Bringing healing is what my whole career has been about. If anything I say seems to suggest anything else, it is not my intent and I beg your forgiveness.
There appears to be two motives of the Bangladesh victims and others who are writing—justice as well as healing. I am not going to address the justice part—not that I don’t believe it is important or indicated. I honestly don’t have answers on how that can best be accomplished and will leave that question to others. If I have any expertise from 40 years of medical practice, it has been in helping with the healing process in women who have shared with me their hurts—physical, marital, emotional, and spiritual.
Over the years I have often been told by women, “you can’t understand because you’re a male”—examples are pain of childbirth, dysmenorrhea (menstrual cramps), menorrhagia (heavy periods), or menopausal symptoms. Each time I admitted that no I really couldn’t; however by listening, caring, and providing compassionate care I was able to meet the needs of my patients. In this traumatic situation those of us who were not there and did endure the devastating pain and humiliation can truly understand the ongoing problems of the victims. In my medical practice, dealing with a patient who has ongoing pain is one of the most difficult problems I face. I tell my patients that hopefully, I can find the etiology of the pain and then find an answer to eliminate or at least alleviate it. Sometime I can find the etiology however am unable alleviate the pain. Other times I can’t even find the etiology, however can still attempt to alleviate the suffering. Sometimes medicine helps, sometimes physical therapy helps, sometimes alternative medical therapies help, and sometimes surgery helps. The most frustrating times and disappointing times for my patients (and me) are when nothing seems to help. When surgical procedures are undertaken for pain relief there may be tedious dissection to separate pathological tissue from normal tissue. While wanting to be complete in removing the pathologic tissue, in no instance would I want to destroy living, normal organs of the body in the process of removing the diseased tissue.
Without defending “ABWE” for past or current actions, I do want to caution those who make sweeping accusations or broad generalizations. ABWE is not one small group of administrators with an advisory board; ABWE is an “Association” of Baptists for World Evangelism”. This “Association” includes over 1000 dedicated, Godly missionaries faithfully serving God around the world—many (including myself) whom have never met Dr. Ketcham. This “Association” includes me as well as a number of you. In my personal experiences with current leadership, I found compassion and help while going through three serious medical situations in my life and I am truly sorry that you have not experienced that. Without excusing what did happen, or should have happened from administrative personnel related to the abuse and aftermath, I am confident that today there is love at the home office as well as in the extended missionary family for everyone who is being affected by this tragedy. Hopefully the public confession of March 21 will help you to see that.
Whatever is done to seek and obtain justice will not alone bring healing. A support group (including the MK blog) can provide information, show compassion and love, and hopefully help an individual along a path of healing. On the other hand, for physical, emotional, and spiritual healing ultimately this comes from within and can only happen with the loving care of our Great Physician who not only understands but desires complete healing of His children. I have had times where my integrity and very worth has been questioned. These are times that I cried out to my Heavenly Father to help me to love and forgive, while not becoming bitter or harboring hatred or a spirit of vengeance. In some long stretches of night I have received comfort by reviewing the attributes of God and then comparing my attitudes and responses to people with those of my Father. I encourage you to lean on the promises of Psalm 18—“God is my (your) strength, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my refuge, my salvation, my rescuer, my rewarder, my support, my light, my shield, my navigator, my enabler, my trainer, my sustainer, my armor, my help, my avenger, MY GOD, MY SAVIOR!”
There are a couple of resources I would strongly encourage. One is Hope Again (especially the chapter, “When life is not fair”) by Chuck Swindall. The other is a powerful true story of forgiveness by Sokreaksa S. Himm, The Tears of My Soul, The Story of a Boy Who Survived the Killing Fields. Sokreaksa was left for dead in a mass grave with his murdered family in Cambodia. His life passion was to hunt down those who killed his family and kill them. As God reached down and saved his soul and over time healed his emotional wounds, Sokreaksa’s passion changed to a desire to return to Cambodia and find the murderers—not to kill them, but to bring gifts and personally tell them that he had forgiven them. He was able to do this—even though the murderers showed little or no remorse. This set Sokreaksa free from his burden and provided lasting peace and joy in his life.
I pray earnestly that that my words have not been misunderstood. God is a God of justice and I desire that justice be served where appropriate. The one comfort (and also challenge) that we each have is knowing that ultimately each of us will give account to God for our relationship to Him and secondly for our relationship to others (love vs. hate, care vs. harm, truth vs. deceit, purity vs. immorality, etc.) Ultimately justice will prevail. Even though I don’t know most of you personally, as a fellow believer, I am your brother in the faith. I love each of you and pray that you will be made whole—for the glory of God.
So much could be said as to how I’ve felt for the past day and a half after reading of this nightmare that has gone on for decades. I have been overwhelmed at the pain you girls (now women) have endured and the battle you have engaged in so that FINALLY some justice and healing can begin. The letter posted recently on ABWE’s web page…for the whole world to read… is a wonderful thing and an answer to prayer. It is the beginning. There is so much more to be done on behalf of you brave victims and your families and it is my prayer that this letter will encourage you to know that your fight for truth to be revealed has been worth it. When I close my eyes I see each one of your faces as little girls….so full of life and fun…so willing to chase after 2 little boys that had waaay too much energy during FC meetings. I cannot begin to tell you the pain I feel for what you have been through. It literally takes my breath away. I have spent the entire day on the couch feeling totally numb. I could not bring myself to read today’s posts until midnight tonight. I’m glad that I can now go to bed knowing that you have at least been acknowledged by the home office. Please know how much I care about each one of you. I send my love and prayers.
I have been so busy and overwhelmed at work while trying to keep up with all the written comments on this blog. I have been able to email Susie privately to encourage her but haven’t done so openly. So much has been quiet for so long… My heart goes out to each one abused by Dr. Ketcham.
Susie, thank you for having the strength and courage to bring up such a difficult subject that is rarely brought to light. You and everyone else that has been abused and humiliated at such a young age by such horrible crimes will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Phil, This may not be the place for this but you and your family are in my prayers too. I will write more later.
I just wanted to make sure everyone knows I am in full support of all my hurting MK sisters. You are in my prayers. I also want my sisters and family to know I love them dearly. Thank you for coming forward and sharing your stories so we in some way can help you keep going and share in your grief and pain. Wow what a BIG BD family we have here. Then you think God’s Family is Soooo Much Bigger!
More to come.
In Christ’s Love and Prayers,
Stephen Adolph
I was among the first to receive notice of this blog 16 days ago and am ashamed that it has taken me this long to put forth an entry. I want to affirm my deep love for this 14 year old MK, who was so tragically robbed of her childhood innocence, and her siblings & family, as well as, all the other MK’s, who have ever been apart of this Bangladesh field – some of whom I have met personally, and many others I have not. I want to thank you for being bold and courageous in bringing into the light that which has been held in darkness and silenced for years. I want to express my deepest sorrow and ask your forgiveness for my part in the silence through these years. I have wept as I have read the entries on this blog and am crying out to God for His healing power to wash over each one, who has been touched by the choices and sins of DK, especially the young women.
We are instructed in Scripture to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” –Galatians 6:2
I confess that I have not been a good burden bearer for those with whom I was closely associated with on the field in either communication or upholding you in prayer. God has been speaking to my heart concerning this matter and I ask your forgiveness for this, as well.
Recently, I read these words from a book entitled “A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser:
“The God I know has experienced pain and therefore understands my pain. In Jesus I have felt God’s tears, trembled before his death on the cross, and witnessed the redemption power of his suffering. The Incarnation means that God cares so much that he chose to become human and suffer loss, though he never had to. I have grieved long, hard and intensely. But I have found comfort knowing that the sovereign God, who is in control of everything, is the same God who has experienced the pain I live with every day. No matter how deep the pit into which I descend, I keep finding God there. He is not aloof from my suffering but draws near to me when I suffer. He is vulnerable to pain, quick to shed tears, and acquainted with grief. God is a suffering Sovereign who feels the sorrow of the world.”
Precious women and their families – He feels YOUR pain and sorrow.
I am so grateful for the confession letter from the ABWE Board and Administration and trust that indeed this is just the beginning of working towards resolving many issues. It is my earnest prayer that one day there will be reconciliation between the ABWE Board and Administration, these young women, their families and all those presently connected with ABWE or have ever been.
I pray that through all of this, God will be glorified.
In His Love and By His grace,
Mary LeCouteur
Last night’s “Admission and Confession” was a great start by ABWE. There was an honesty in their words that we have not seen before. Transparency is always a good place to start. Now, however, we need to hear from specific people who are willing to take ownership of their personal wrongs. As has been stated over and over again on the blog, we know that ABWE as a whole is not guilty of this crime. We know that there are many people, all over the world and in the home office, who were blind-sided by the true stories being revealed on the blog. The “Admission and Confession” are written by the Board & Administration, of which some were most definitely unaware. But those men and women have enough integrity to own it. They realize they are part of a team and therefore if one falls, they all do. Unfortunately, they must take responsibility for the actions of even a few that are on their team. They did and we commend them for it.
However, now it is time for individuals to take personal ownership for their specific sins related to this cover up. When those phone calls start rolling in, as I’m hopeful that they will, we must be prepared to talk through some hard questions. We must be prepared to make it clear that this is certainly not the end of the story. Here are some of my thoughts:
1. Why? What was so important that the story of one little girl in 1989, and then more in 2002, could not be shared?
2. What was so important that you could not warn the people of Michigan to protect their children from the monster roaming their streets and churches?
3. What was so important that you did not respect the leadership and the authority of the supporting churches and their pastors? Why did you choose to disrespect them and usurp their authority?
4. What do you plan to do to repair as much of the damage that you can?
5. We believe, and we did before the blog drew it out of some, that there have been other coverups on other fields. Will you submit to our leadership and then submit yourselves to a independent, third party investigation to look into all of your history on every field?
6. How do you plan on restoring your relationship with the churches you manipulated, lied to, and then misrepresented publicly?
7. Where do you believe the funds will come to “see [our] faces, hear [our] voices”…”so that [you] can voice [your] apologies to [us} face to face”? Where do you think this safe place will be? (It will not be on your turf.)
8. Do you intend to take individual ownership for the wrongs we know you committed against us, individuals with real hurts and real needs?
9. What policies will you put in place to protect your missionaries from this happening again? How will you assure us that the person you put in place to field reports of this or any other nature takes each and every report seriously. How will you ensure that THAT person’s voice will be heard? What will be your process for an appeal?
10. This question is for the board…and I feel we need an opportunity to speak to each of them: What do you plan to do about the current administration members who knew about this coverup or who failed to complete their job of investigating in 2002?
THIS IS ONLY A START…I’m sure you all could add to more questions to this list. Let’s continue to do hard things, friends. Feel free to pas this along to every MK you know. Let’s be prepared for those phone calls today!
Memories…. Like walking through the woods with Vic Olsen in the area around Malumghat looking for the ideal spot to build the hospital. Like working closely with Jeannie Lockerbie on having a fantastic book stall at the annual Dhaka Conventions. I sit and review my life; enriched by people like Vic, Jeannie, Lynn Silvernale, and Bill Commons, whom I taught at a doctoral seminar at Trinity Seminary.
From 1962 to 1982 pleasant reminisces flood my mind and heart as I contemplate my close interaction with beloved and ever so productive ABWE Bangladesh missionaries.
Julie and I were with International Christian Fellowship those years, which merged with SIM in 1989. We were in the Philippines from 1984 to 2006. Now retired, we do what seniors do; reflect on days past, which for us included 44 years in Asia.
Donn operated on Julie in 1982. No rumblings reached our ears until 1989 when we were devastated to hear of the “scandal,” details of which came to us much later.
We have a beloved only child, a daughter who was born in Holy Family in Dhaka and grew up in Bangladesh until she went to Biola. This summer she, along with her family, will visit BD and plan to visit Malumghat Hospital. Lyndi will translate for the family for she remains quite good in Bengali.
Since leaving, in ’82, I have visited BD a number of times. Once I gave a seminar on Muslim Evangelism at the hospital.
I love and respect ABWE. They have accomplished so much for Christ’s Kingdom, not the least of which is the simplified Bengali Bible put into Muslimani terminology by Vic, Joan and a host of others that was a very key part in winning tens of thousands of Bengali Muslims to Christ.
I, too, have had a close friend sexually molested in BD, not by a missionary, but by a national. My heart was broken. The pain of that memory lingers on.
I can only hurt and be broken at all the girls went though. Beyond comprehension. I feel so deeply for all of you.
Yes, Donn has to pay the price. Yes, ABWE leadership must step up and repent deeply for past failures in these horrible devastations… and hopefully openly address each item that is being discussed.
My only plea is to lower the decibels a bit as you continue to make your points online for all the world to see, …but do so less stridently and with a bit more of grace as outlined in Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace. That is my only suggestion.
We love you all…
Phil (and Julie)
Although I appreciate your comments and the recap of your personal history with ABWE, I take a bit of an exception to your comment about “lower[ing] the decibels a bit.” If there ever was a time to raise the decibel level, this would be it! You see, for decades many precious girls and their families were instructed to keep the decibel level low, with devastating results. The decibel level of “weak” and “foolish” ones has now, finally, been raised because those who are in positions of power and authority have not been sensitive to the still, small voice of the One who said “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Where were their voices when a 7-year-old girl tried to commit suicide or when a 14-year-old was pressured to sign a confession? Would we tell our Lord to lower His voice when He said to those who made a mockery of His justice “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!” and “You brood of vipers”? Was our Lord not also gracious at those times? There are times when righteous anger demands that we raise our voices to a level that makes some uncomfortable. And this is one of those times. Grace, as wonderful as it is, has too many times been turned into a licence for leaving sin unchecked. So if the decibel level is too high for some, I guess I’m not sorry.
I am a former ABWE MK as well as a relative of several of the people who have posted and been mentioned here. I have been reading these comments avidly and praying for all involved. I am devastated by the pain the victims and their families have faced, and I am so thankful that their voices are being heard. I rejoiced when ABWE released their confession last night, and even more so when I saw the positive response it has received here.
I have one suggestion to the moderators. Because the number of comments on this thread alone number close to 500, newcomers to the blog are having difficulty finding up-to-date information. I see the confession that ABWE posted yesterday as a turning point, and I think it would be worthwhile to create a new post (not a comment on this introductory post) to give an update from your perspective and provide a link to the confession and/or its full text. Even if you do not want to highlight the confession itself in this way because so much still needs to happen on the road toward reconciliation and healing, I still think an update or summary post is in order.
Thank you all for contributing to bringing truth out from the darkness and into the light!
Thank you, Jason, for your thoughtful post. I think your idea of highlighting the confession and including a summary post is a good idea. I will discuss this with Susannah (who is taking a little break from the blog) and then will make a decision on this.
– Phil Walsh
Dear ABWE: as a former missionaries from the Bangladesh Hospital, my wife and I were very gratified to read your confession and apology. Thorough, and well spoken. And much needed. Thank you
However, words are just words. Without action, they are dead. James 2:14,17. Now we (and a “multitude of witnesses”) are waiting to see your action. (20 years late, but better late than never). Our urgent plea: please commission a 3rd party investigator who has a proven track record in ugly matters like this. Your own track record, according to your “confession” is not reliable. We urge you to use GRACE.
Dr. Joe and Joyce DeCook
Pam and I echo those sentiments of using GRACE as a 3rd party investigator. We are thankful and pleased for ABWE’s Confession and response but words are empty without action. However, this is just the first step in what is going to be a long, difficult road to restoration, healing and forgiveness for these precious, courageous ladies and their families who were sinned against. ABWE has lost credibility, accountability, respect, integrity, and trust. BUT GOD, is a God of restoration, healing, and forgiveness if you will geninuely repent and do what is right.
Once again, to all you young ladies thank you, we applaud your courage and tenacity to stand up and speak out regarding this abuse. Rest assured that our prayers, love, and support are with you.
Being an ABWE MK myself, having scores of MK friends around the world, and having MK kids of my own now, I have a very special place in my heart for all MKs. I have followed this blog from the very beginning, making a couple of very minor comments along the way. Mostly I have been praying. I’ve prayed and then “suffered” (as they call it in the country where I grew up) for all of you- my MK sisters who were hurt the most, my MK brothers, and, yes, even for ABWE veteran missionaries, current administration, and the board. I could relate to so much of it, not so much because I personally suffered a great deal as an MK, although there were some moments, but because I had so many MK friends, mostly from other mission agencies, who had gone through some pretty horrific things- parallel to what my ABWE MK sisters went through.
Back in 2002, I attended the ABWE MK reunion “The Return.” (I was even a member of the planning committee.) One of the things that I noticed when I got there was the group of BD MKs, especially the girls. I noticed them because it seemed to me, right at the outset, that they, almost to a person, had a certain demeanor that I could not understand. It was as though they were conflicted- like they wanted to be there to be with other BD MKs, but at the same time they didn’t want to be at the “event.” There was a sadness, or a distancing, that I could not for the life of me understand. They seemed to hang together in their own clique, and I found myself wanting to say, “Hey, you guys are MKs, and I’m an MK- Isn’t it great to be together as ABWE MKs? I mean, we have so much in common! And, after all, I feel connected to you because I used to see your pictures in the Message magazine and read your names and wonder what it would be like to be friends with those other MKs!” NOW I understand what it was that I was seeing and sensing in you. I am so, so sorry for all that you have had to endure through the years!
Since I was aware of this blog early on, I asked the leadership at our home church to pray for the situation. My wife would tell you that I’ve been “consumed” by it all. I found myself shedding tears, for the girls especially, but also for your “aunts” and “uncles”- some of whom were the recipients of some harsh words from their “nieces” and “nephews,” making them feel sad I’m sure. I also shed some tears for the current leadership at the head office and the board, some of whom I know. All the ones that I know have communicated nothing but love and concern for MKs to me. That is why I was perplexed, as were so many others, at the initial responses that were given by the mission. It didn’t make sense to me. But, I knew that they had to be devastated and most certainly were crying out to the Lord for wisdom and guidance. My wife and I could relate to them in so far as we’ve been on the receiving end of situations that, no matter WHAT we said or did and no matter how transparent we were, it was STILL taken the wrong way and understood as something that it was not.
I am glad that the first step has finally been taken, and it IS just the FIRST step. My prayer is that God will bring healing to ALL of those who were hurt. My prayer is that those who need to be held accountable will be held accountable, but also, that those who are NOT guilty of intentional wrongdoing would not be unfairly and unjustly treated- that they would not be pulled down by the big undiscriminating dragnet, so-to-speak. Satan is a firm believer in not letting a crisis go to waste. He always likes to take advantage of the situation and try to get rid of the innocent ones along with the guilty, especially at the hands of their fellow believers.
If you’re an MK, of any age, and you need to talk, my wife and I are available to talk about whatever you want. You can find us on Facebook or at our 8pattons website (which needs a lot improvement, I know, but we are working on it.)
We love you all!
ANDY PATTON
Dr. Parshall,
I appreciate your post but take issue with your last point. Lower the decibel? Seriously? May I ask you then, when would it be appropriate in life to raise one’s voice if not now – for the sake of multiple, sexually abused children and multiple, sexually defrauded women? No one is questioning the wonderful work God has done and is still doing in Bangladesh by His grace.
It has been 35+ years of sexual sin and subsequent cover up…hundreds, if not thousands of people have been affected by one man’s selfish desires, and an administration who has admittedly kept it quiet!
I am thrilled with the current administrations confessions, but wary until they follow through completely.
My voice is still raised and will continue to be raised until the actions promised are taken.
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
Louisville, CO
Pastor Mike,
I get the sense (from your many comments) that your not willing to freely forgive. I’m afraid of what that teaches your flock since you state your title of pastor right in your comments.
I really do understand the pain that this causes in families. The nightmares that rob sleep, the hindered intimate relationships with spouses, the distrust of men in general, and constant questioning of why God would allow this in my life. There’s so much more than even that short bit, but I do get the pain, trust me. What I don’t understand is why you aren’t accepting a seemingly sincere apology from believers in Christ as enough.
Jesus doesn’t demand that we perform acts to prove our remorse or repentance and he doesn’t require us to submit to a 3rd party cross examinations of our past sinful life after we have repented of our sins, lest he hold back his forgiveness and heap on shame brought on by our failures.
I hope that I’m reading your comments wrongly and that you can clarify for me that the apology was indeed enough for you to forgive them and that these mistakes that were made at ABWE will not continue to be held against them unfairly.
Since you are a pastor, please be careful that what you say here clearly represents what God demonstrates regarding forgiveness. I believe that our acceptance of his sacrifice and the act of repentance separates our sin from us as far as the East is from the West and we stand blameless before our creator the moment we accept the forgiveness he offers.
Please don’t hide this comment. Allow it to be seen and let people comment on it however they desire, positive or negative.
Thanks,
A concerned follower of Jesus
Can you explain how you differ from Pastor Mike when you close your argument with these four words: “the act of repentence”.
Isn’t that exactly what he is calling for? Repentence? Action on what they said?
Perhaps you should re-read Pastor Mike’s other posts:
http://bangladeshmksspeak.com/2011/03/11/introduction-to-bangladeshmksspeak/#comment-576
http://bangladeshmksspeak.com/2011/03/11/introduction-to-bangladeshmksspeak/#comment-572
http://bangladeshmksspeak.com/2011/03/11/introduction-to-bangladeshmksspeak/#comment-403
Those are just three that I could find with a quick review. There may be more, I don’t know. However, I do not find his words to be inconsistent. He continually hits the “act of repentance.”
It is important to remember that Pastor Mike identifies himself as the brother-in-law of the victim. His wife identifies herself as the sister to the 14 year old. (Remember her? She was asked to sign that confession you see at the top of the page.) They have walked this road for a very long time. It is personal for them and who are we to judge?
As a good friend of this man and a member of his congregation, I must say that I know him to be well-intentioned. He is also eager to forgive. You should hear the last two sermons he preached on forgiveness from Philemon. They hit hard the point of putting yourself in the position to freely offer/extend forgiveness to those who have offended or hurt you. He includes that you can nurture forgiveness in your heart toward that person even before your offender asks for it. You can probably find those sermons posted on our church’s website.
At a loss for words wrote:
What I don’t understand is why you aren’t accepting a seemingly sincere apology from believers in Christ as enough.
To “At a loss” I reply:
by their fruit….
At a loss wrote:
Jesus doesn’t demand that we perform acts to prove our remorse or repentance
To “At a loss” I reply:
Jesus knows our heart. He knows if our remorse or repentance is real.
“At a Loss” wrote:
and he doesn’t require us to submit to a 3rd party cross examinations of our past sinful life after we have repented of our sins,
To “At a Loss” I reply:
Faith without works is dead
“At a Loss” wrote:
I hope that I’m reading your comments wrongly and that you can clarify for me that the apology was indeed enough for you to forgive them
To “At a Loss” I reply:
Apology is verbal expression of repentance. Anyone can say words.
Repentance is evidenced in word and in deed.
And:
Repentance of the offender is not needed for the offended to forgive. However, repentance of the offender IS needed for reconciliation to occur.
Thank you for your kind post. To answer your concern about my apparent lack of willingness to forgive I would say this –
Because I am not God, there is no way to know if true repentance has taken place until they show the truth of their words with action. The ABWE confession is wonderful IF backed up with the action(s) they promise.
The victims we are defending simply cannot extend the forgiveness they have been working towards for decades until ABWE acts on their words. The current administration of ABWE has lied and then lied again to the victims. You ask them to extend forgiveness based upon one letter that is decades overdue.
These women need to see action that is rooted in sorrow that leads to repentance.
As a pastor, I also have a responsibility to protect the sheep God has entrusted me with. In my opinion, pastors have erred on the side of grace rather than maintaining a balance of “grace and truth”. We have allowed people to SAY they are “sorry” and then put the weight of the responsibility of forgiveness on the offended. Quick “forgiveness” apart from any true repentance leads to terrible stories like what happened in Bangladesh for 30 plus years…a wolf in sheep’s clothing on the prowl in the sheep pen.
Christ’s sacrifice demands repentance, not simply “I’m sorry.”
The ABWE confession is a great step towards repentance, but I doubt anyone is ready to fully extend forgiveness until the fruit of repentance is clearly seen. Part of that fruit is a willingness to accept whatever consequence may be necessary.
Thank you again,
Pastor Mike Durrill
At a loss for words,
We would be wrong to accept apologies for these wrongs without asking for an investigation. There are many reasons for this, but one that comes to mind immediately is that we’ve been talking about sins that are actually crimes. “Please forgive me” is not usually an accepted form of reparation for a crime. There are consequences.
Another reason is that this horrible thing was so badly handled and covered, it makes you wonder what else has been handled this way. It’s absolutely biblical and right to stand up for justice and truth and not back down.
I’m actually quite shocked that anyone — especially a Christian — would say there is no need for an investigation at this point.
If you’ve ever caught someone in a lie and they say they’re sorry but then you find out later they didn’t tell you all…well you begin to wonder if they were only sorry for the things because they were caught. And if you ask deeper questions, sometimes bit by bit the truth comes out. But then you wonder if they aren’t telling you everything, are they really sorry?
If ABWE had persisted in a quest for truth decades ago rather than accepting apologies, none of this would be necessary today. I would really like to believe that ABWE is sincere. If they really are, then submitting to a 3rd party investigation is the very least they could do. Accountability is a critical part of the restoration process. Openness is a mark of true repentance.
Pastor Mike Durrill is absolutely right in taking this stand — and he’s in good company:
Check out this old sermon by Charles G. Finney: “The individual who has exercised true repentance is willing to have it known that he has repented, and willing to have it known that he was a sinner. He who has only false repentance, resorts to excuses and lying to cover his sins, and is ashamed of his repentance. When he is called to the anxious seat, he will cover up his sins by a thousand apologies and excuses, trying to smooth them over, and extenuate their enormity. If he speaks of his past conduct, he always does it in the softest and most favorable terms. You see a constant disposition to cover up his sin. This repentance leads to death. It makes him commit one sin to cover up another. Instead of that ingenuous, open-hearted breaking forth of sensibility and frankness, you see a palavering, smooth-tongued, half-hearted mincing out of something that is intended to answer the purpose of a confession, and yet to confess nothing.How is it with you? Are you ashamed to have any person talk with you about your sins? Then your sorrow is only a worldly sorrow, and worketh death. ” Transparency is proof of repentance.
I have been watching this website and the ABWE wbsite sice one of our local news stations first reported this story on Wednesday, March 23.
I have hesitated joining in on the conversation since I am not an MK, but I hope some of my comments will prove helpful to the victims so abused by DK and prevent future incidents; along with some “blame” unfortunately for some other people.
Of course my heart and prayers to out to all the young ladies he has abused. In light of ABWE having not taken the appropriate actions so many years ago, it is the right action for you to go public with this and you are very courageous in doing so.
Could someone please post photos of DK at the top of this website page, especially of how he looks now? I do not know what he looks like now. If we saw a current photo of him, we could all be on the look-out for him. If we see him come into our church we could “alert” the appropriate people. Is he there to truely worship with us, or looking for a new “hunting grounds” for his next victim? I called ABWE and asked them to please post a photo on their site. Their response: No promises.
A suggestion for those so abused by DK:
Send your information direct to the appropriate Michigan State Medical Boards. Prepare a HAND-WRITTEN account of what happened to you, (each girl’s handwriting is different, so the Boards will know it is not a form letter) Include a typed copy of the information. Make as many photo-copies and needed. Keep the ORIGINAL HAND-WRITTEN
Don’t assume DK is on the prowl, just because he visits your church. That is an unfair assumption, especially now that all of this has come to the forefront in the area where you all live. Now that the public is aware of his past, it just may be that he and his wife hesitate to darken a church, lest some does recognize him.
I don’t say this to protect him.
Pedophiles tend to take an opportunity when it presents itself, even if it is a risky opportunity with other adults nearby and a chance of being caught. Please pray that he will not have further opportunity. Assumption should not be made that he is safe now that this has come to public light. But you’re right, it could be that he may hesitate to go to church.
Susana,
I tried to send one e-mail to let you know that your being prayed for by two of your former Aunts and Uncle from 1975-76.
We ask God to heal you and may the same grace the strengthened Corrie Tenbum when she face the Germans that killed family, strenthen you at this very moment.
Prayers and blessings from Uncle Duane and AuntLinda Cross, ABWE Chile
To Our Bangladesh MK family,
Some of you may have been wondering why Aunt Eleanor and I haven’t, up until now, contributed anything on the blog. We have read all of the blogs, including those from our own children, crying and praying that good would result from all of this. We want you to know that we are 100% behind you as you seek to bring closure and healing to the hurts you have been bearing over the years. Aunt Eleanor has collected a thick file of e-mails to and from many of you plus other evidence which should be enough to convict Donn of his pedophilia. She has met with a number of ABWE staff and missionaries and voiced her concerns for the last 15 years since one daughter told a friend what happened to her. We are thankful that ABWE has finally confessed that they handled this all wrong. We want to thank each of you who have been able to write on the blog. It is helping our precious daughters get healing. One, who possibly was the first MK to be molested (back around 1965) has not been able to write on the blog but is finding more healing from reading what all of you have written. We want to be available to any of you who wish to do more talking or sharing. We love you. You are our wonderful Bangladesh family and that means the world to us.
Uncle Jay and Aunt Eleanor
To all our former co-workers, especially those who have daughters who are the victims here. I cannot begin to convey my sorrow to the burdens you have carried over the years. The silence, the sadness, the despair and what must have seemed like an unsurmountable mountain at times as you tried to deal with the situation. Words keep coming to my mind the last few days….”If only I had known…I could have prayed for you all.” As I shared in an email to ABWE last evening, to some small degree all of us are victims. We all were deceived. Perhaps I feel that way because our FC…past and present…had a closeness in spite of our differences. For many of us our relationships with our fellow missionaries were/are closer than that of our “real” families. I guess that’s why it hurts so much. To know now of all the suffering you had and yet we couldn’t be there to comfort you. I have this sense that “we just all need to be together and give each other a hug or two”. Since I know that isn’t possible, I just want you all to know how much I care about you as the parents, and how much I care about your daughters. I’m praying that everyone will have the strength and emotional stamina to deal with their realities and will begin to experience a supernatural healing . Girls (ladies), always always know that we will continue to stand behind you, to pray for you, and to never think less of you as a human being because of what was done to you. Instead, we see you as courageous women, God-fearing women…. women with grace and a faith that will win the victory. May God heal your individual and extended family relationships where needed and may all your tomorrows shine with a renewed energy to be able to live your lives to the fullest. No regrets. No secrets. No feelings of unworthiness. No more self-inflicted guilt. Nothing more than the realization that God loves you and that He can do what no man can. This is my prayer for all of you.
Sending my love,
Auntie Cheryl
ALL the secrets need to be confessed – even those that happened while in the states.
Dear Fellow MKs.
I would respectfully ask that if ABWE contacts you personally, you make it clear to them (in writing) that their own confession (inadvertently perhaps) concedes our point that they cannot handle matters of sexual abuse in ways that balance the heaviness of legalities and moral and social responsibility with a balance of faith that does not err into the territory of spiritual abuse.
ABWE dropped the ball, again and again and again and again. No more chances. A third party is absolutely necessary, and we must stick together on this point. Promises of an MK reunion are all well and good, but what we need is a proper investigation, justice and restoration of trust, and only a third party can make that happen at this point in time. An MK heart-to-heart and reunion with Michael Loftis did not accomplish these things in 2002 and it will not accomplish them in 2011. I remain grateful for the apology online, but firm in the need to see feet put to those words of repentance.
The home office wants to host another MK-sit down-chit chat-reunion.
The ladies of BD that have posted on here about situations with DK do need an opportunity to come together, to be a substantial, literal force facing their giant (Michael Loftis, for one) and have a chance to comfort one another. From what I’ve read, it doesn’t seem like any would be against spending time together.
So, I’m not sure, but I’m guessing that GRACE would have some sort of mediators that could head up and direct such a meeting. They could pull in so many resources that could help all the ladies and families involved. They could keep the reunion on track and work towards full disclosure of all parties involved…publicly and privately as appropriate. They know what they would need to do and the idea of a reunion that has been tossed around by ABWE could be a great tool for them. I believe part of the healing process will need to take place face to face between the ladies & their families and the board members.
Just a thought to use the means and opportunities that God has laid out in front of you for His work and His glory.
I wonder if that might be doing the last thing first. I don’t know what their goal or purpose is, but if it is apology and attempt at reconciliation, I don’t think that can adequately occur until the magnitude of the sin is fully exposed.
I am pleased to see the latest response by ABWE. I’ll tell you the truth. When my teenage daughters asked me what I would do if something like this happened to them, I responded, “I would want the perpetrator to be publicly flogged.” (By me, if no one else was man enough to do it!) Anyone who stood between the perpetrator and me might get hit, too. I am not being funny. There are no emotions to describe what these women and their families have gone through, not being allowed to see him “flogged” or in any way dealt with. I know that we have a God of mercy, but also of justice. If they can’t have true justice, at least let’s stand with them in righteous indignation for the injustices done against them. I wish I could meet each of you and hug you and tell you that I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. Still praying for each as you, hopefully, begin and/or continue to heal. With love, Kim Spink
I have been reading this blog for some days now and the amount of information that has been laid on the table in this public venue has been astounding. As a current ABWE missionary I have mixed emotions with all that has been brought to light. From one aspect, I am concerned with the amount of animosity displayed towards the organization I serve with. On the other hand I am feeling the hurt of the victims. I am personally acquainted with many of the families and posters on this blog and have had intimate conversations with some of them regarding them being violated. On yet another hand (don’t we all have three hands?) my family too is a victim in this situation. My sister’s last name used to be Ketcham. She was married to Tom, DK’s son. Tom and I, even during their engagement, were as close as brothers and I have many fond memories of our times together. This was soon shattered by deceit, unfaithfulness, abandonment and divorce. So not to pin the sins of the son on the father but the ostracizing my sister suffered due to the unwillingness of those in the West Michigan area to believe that a “Ketcham” could be in the wrong was horrible. She used to drive many miles to attend a church where she was unknown and could feel accepted. She felt so isolated and despised with the seemingly unfixable situation. Several years later she remarried Tom after he assured her that he had come back to the Lord and loved her after all. Would this fix the situation? She thought it would and I was adamantly opposed to it but wasn’t a voting member. My trust is difficult to regain if broken. Not many days after the birth of the honeymoon baby, my sister was left at my parent’s home destitute, in debt and Tom left and didn’t come back. More lies, deceit, drugs, theft, unfaithfulness and again divorce. So why bring all this up? Because much of this information was swept under the very rug that hid many of DK’s sins. The family was untouchable. When my sister became aware of this blog and started reading through it, she told me she cried and was thinking that it was nearly unbelievable that someone was strong and brave enough to stand up to D. Ketcham and confront him. I truly believe this house cleaning will bring healing in her life of the bitterness that has plagued her over so many years. It may also help my now adult niece understand why her mother was so opposed to her spending time with her grandparents. As I have read of more and more examples of the extent of the abuse inflicted by DK I am grateful my sister protected at least one child from him. And as for previous posters indicating that Donn’s family knew nothing about what was taking place…
Herman, please tell your sister that I was so sad to lose track of her. I knew she was hurting and I was so sorry for all she had to endure. Not all of us were blaming her or thinking negatively of her, we knew her character. I have often wondered how she was, and where she was. Tell her to look me up on FB. I would love to touch base. And I too praise the Lord that she was able to protect her daughter from DK. Esther Rapa
Just wanted you to know there are others standing with you in prayer and hope for healing for all of those affected. I pray that this forum will become known by all the victims and their families and that they would see the vulnerability and tremendous support and be strengthened and encouraged. Michelle’s mom’s story was especially compelling. I pray for healing and reconciliation for her family. Based on the fact that DK gave camp physicals here in the States, I hope any third party investigation would check into those as well as to what happened in BD.
For all those who have shared, your faithfulness to God inspite of abuse by a “spiritual” leader is inspiring. Thank you!
Throughout the years ABWE has continued to demonstrate the same pattern on all of their fields. This behavior did not end with Bangladesh. The sinful way of dealing with difficult problems has never changed. The home office will do whatever it takes to protect the image of the organization. This is why I seriously doubt any “confession” written on their web-site. Regardless of which administration ( new or old) in Harrisburg, there are still plenty of old Bangladesh field council members on staff at ABWE HQ.
Like many of you, the past week I have been going through an emotional rollercoaster, most of it downhill. I hurt for the 14 year old and her sisters. When I think of you, I still recall our AWANA Club down at Hollywood Bowl and listening to your verses and playing games together. It was a time of innocence.
I also hold a special place in my heart for the other victims, all of whom I probably knew. You are all part of our Bangladesh MK family. I didn’t know what you had gone through. We are praying for healing in your lives. When this blog first started, my thoughts were that there would be a lot of people getting hurt, but with God’s help, we might see some healing come out of it.
One Bangladesh MK mom told Chrissy and me about “eve teasing” that happens here in south Asia. It is a common form of sexual abuse that can leave scars on girls. That helped us prepare our daughter in advance should something like that occur. It is not her fault if teenage boys make lewd comments or brush up against her. She needs to feel free to let someone know and deal with it right away. If either of our kids feel awkward or embarrassed by a situation, they now know a series of people to whom they can go. Also, since this blog started, I asked my wife how physicals are performed here at Malumghat. As a guy, I hadn’t been paying much attention. However, she said that there are strict guidelines and she is comfortable with how they are performed. All that is to say that we are hopefully learning from past failure.
MKs, particularly Bangladeshi ones, have always been on my heart. I have seen several go through great difficulties in their lives and it is painful for me and, even more so, their families. I meet with the current “batch” of MKs every week for prayer meeting and stories of Christian heroes. We started with Uncle Jay’s books “Ripe Mangoes” and went on to “Against All Odds”. It was encouraging to see those who have been faithful over the years. I know that these national heroes have warts, but, then, so do I. Now we are on to Dave & Neta Jackson’s series of books on Christian heroes called “Hero Tales”. We take time to pray for some of the prayer requests shared in “big prayer meeting” and especially focus on MKs past and present. I know our MK group would be pleased to pray for requests that you have.
I think that we Bangladesh MKs are a very caring group and can be a source of encouragement for others. I particularly appreciated the FB web site that Tami Cernetic put up called Bangladesh MKs – Mgt & Ctg.
I would like to help the victims as well. I tried to meet with the 14 year old victim from 1989 a few years back, but we weren’t able to connect. I am sure it would have been awkward for her and I am no counselor. I just wanted her to know we care and still love her. She is family. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
Love,
Bob
Still nothing! Words without action are dead! The confession is beginning to mean nothing to me. I don’t think ABWE is really sincere. I/we, as a family, have seen this over and over in the last 22+years. How many agree? And here it is April Fools Day. I just do not trust you any farther than I can spit.
I did not read the response to my post until yesterday. My goal was that all concerned would not apologize for mistakes made but promote a confession of sinning against those abused. Which, with or without this post, ABWE has done. I was a bit disappointed that they did not mention a “corporate prayer time” of confession to the Lord, although I’m inclined to believe they did. I am thinking of David’s prayer “Against thee I have sinned,” in first instance.
I did not see this blog as a forum of theological discussion. Briefly: I think the Biblical pattern is that forgiveness comes from confession. As to Jesus’ prayer of forgiveness on the cross one must ask the question who is the “them” of the text. Second, did Christ absolve them of their sin of rejection apart from confession? I think not. I think there is an ellipsis here. “Father forgive them” when they realize what they have done (not the cross but the rejection “We have no king but Caesar”). And this is what happened on the day of Pentecost “What shall we do … repent … they gladly received his word … and three thousand were baptized (forgiven), At 2:37 ff.
Those moderating this site are welcome to give those concerned my E-mail address to those requesting it.
Since hearing of the news of DK on WOODTV8 in Grand Rapids a little over a week ago, my emotions have swept over me like a huge tsunami…wave after wave it seems. I did not know what to say. But time and the many entries to the blog have helped clear my mind and heart somewhat.
Our time with the Ketcham name goes way, way back. Donn’s father, Dr. Robert T. Ketcham, was the pastor at Central Baptist Church in Gary, Indiana when the GARB was first being formed as conservative believers moved away from the Northern Baptist Convention, if I am correct. My mom was a good friend of Donn’s sister and if it weren’t for Dr. RT Kecham’s many speaking engagements, I understand that he would have performed the wedding ceremony for my folks.
I attended GRBBC the last year at the Wealthy Street campus and the first year at the new location. And I remember the library being named after RT Ketcham. I actually met Donn when he visited Cedarville College to speak. Donn and his family were attending Newhall Baptist Church as was Darlene(she was a charter memeber). Donn was a member of Newhall Baptist from the time that Darlene was in high school till Newhall Baptist closed her doors for the last time. When Darlene and I moved back to the GR area, I also joined Newhall Baptist Church and through the years not only served as a missionary in Bangladesh with Newhall as our sending church, but also taught in the SS, served as the CE chairman and missions committee chairman.
It was in the capacity of Missions Committee Chairman(after we left Bangladesh) that early on Sunday morning Rev. Mike Eleveld called me with the information that Donn and Kit would be in the morning service. Donn had left the mission and returned to the states due to an “affair”. No other offenses were ever mentioned to me. He openly confessed his sin to the congregation with tears. And there were not many dry eyes that morning, mine included. I greeted Donn in the foyer after the service and remember my words….”Donn, I forgive you”. Little did I know that that forgiveness included his betrayal of innocent girls at Malumghat and that at present it appears that our own daughter was one of them! (See the blog entries of Mike and Diane Eleveld…after Donn returned to Newhall, our daughter’s behavior drastically changed)
I have been deeply saddended by ABWE’s lack of communication with us during these years since they knew of Donn’s behavior. Why didn’t they reach out to all those who had children in Bangladesh and inform us that we should seek council for our kids in case he abused them, too? I am thankful that ABWE is finally beginning to accept responsibility for their neglect. We are trusting the Lord that in His mercy someone will be able to contact our daughter, or perhaps she has been made aware of the blog and is following the progress. If so–Honey, I love you!
I have also been saddened by the knowledge that others of our co-workers were aware of Donn’s behavior with the mk girls, but must have been given a “gag-order” that kept them from sharing anything with us.
I shared the TV8 news link with my sister. She reminded me that our Lord has known about this from the beginning and He knows the end. To all the MK’s that have been so greatly suffering, we will be praying for your healing. Thank you from the depths of my heart for sharing your gut-wrenching experience. What Godly courage you have demonstrated. Please accept our blog hugs.
Dave Fidler
Dave, Since first reading this blog I have been actively trying to find Michelle. I’ve been asking any of her peers if they know where she is and I need them to ask around as well. I want her to get on the same road to recovery that these other dear women are embarking on. Please contact me, Dave…. Diane@Eleveld.us
And Donn, if you are reading this blog, could you please tell us what happened to her?
Oh, my brother Dave,
May this be the start of her journey home! Please all who read this…pray that God will raise up people around Michelle to encourage her to contact her folks or open her eyes to this blog.
Amen. I’m on it.
Uncle Dave and Aunt Dar
“I just wanted to chime in and add a note to you-My heart is heavy as I think of my special friend from long ago-we did everything together. We lost touch so quickly when you all left but she is a special part of me and my memories. In case you’re reading this Shelly, Shell bell, Michaela whatever your name is now-I love you and miss you my friend. I’d love to see you again. Sorry for not being there for you! Uncle Dave and Aunt Dar-I have so many good memories in your home and all over the comppund with all of you! Love ya, Cindy
I am both a former ABWE MK and a current ABWE missionary and have been following this blog since I first heard of its existence. My emotions have run the gamut in doing so. I have debated whether to speak since my field was/is on the other side of the world, and for fear of being misunderstood. The written word is a powerful thing! It holds tremendous potential for good and justice, as demonstrated by this blog, its testimonies, and the recent response from the mission. For that, I am grateful.
MK to MK, I wish to express how deeply sorry I am for the excruciating pain the victims and their families have experienced. If only this were an uncommon story, yet I personally have close MK friends from other mission boards/countries who were similarly abused. National men and even a close family supporter were to blame. This is not solely an ABWE problem, but a poison that infects families, churches and nations around the world. However it is my hope and prayer that from this moment on, ABWE will set an example in righting wrongs and bringing healing and forgiveness from the ashes of such sorrow. It is my hope and prayer that the victims and their families will finally experience justice and freedom from all they have suffered.
There is one thing that has been on my heart throughout my reading of the blog. I do not wish to defend the mission’s past actions or current missteps. I only wish to share from my perspective as an MK growing up under the previous administration and now a missionary serving under the present administration, that I have truly felt a genuine concern for both missionary kids and MK adults in recent years. Specifically, making a point to have sit-downs with MKs at regional conferences; pursuing membership with a child protection organization; even providing the Next Generation Ministries which has personally been a blessing to our family and field.
Sadly, these recent positive changes cannot undo the past for any hurting adult MKs. But in the midst of so many mistakes, I do believe they deserve recognition as a message of hope for our current MK children’s future.
Hi, Stephanie.
I am very glad to hear of your story.
However, you must remember, that part of the hurt and pain here is that we, too, thought that those in the home office had our backs. We, too, had various MK ministries to us over the years. We, too, believed that there were those who watched over us and protected us, and frequently trusted them to do right by us–even at times when we weren’t sure we understood why they did things they did.
It was really only the course of years and then decades that we came to the realization–some of us quickly, some of us slowly–that they could not be trusted and were not who they seemed, to us, to be. Which was our “uncles.” One reason for the pain here, is that we once felt as you do to a point, and then felt betrayed as truth came to light.
I don’t discount your experience. I just wish to remind you, that we, too, might have once said the things you are saying. Now we realize that the people at the highest levels of the administration of the years are very few who truly put feet to words and protect us.
You may need to read through all 500 comments to find it, but there is evidence here that ABWE failed their MKs in the matter represented here as recently at 2009 and 2002. This is not a matter where those at fault are all “dead or retired.” You must remember, there are a few men in the home office for whom most ot the things said on this blog were not news. And yet, still they failed to act until they were pushed into a corner and their failure was exposed to their entire board and churches and other Christians. We can’t forget that, even as we try to forgive.
–Tamara Barrick Rice
And PS for Stephanie …
Actually, you no longer need to read all 500-plus comments to find the lack of action in 2002 and 2009. You can just read it in ABWE’s letter of confession on their web site. They admit as much, though they have not yet taken actions at the core of the leadership to back up their repentance.
Stephanie is wise to write and remind us that “The written word is a powerful thing! It holds tremendous potential for good and justice, as demonstrated by this blog, its testimonies, and the recent response from the mission. For that, I am grateful.” The power of the written word can be used in many ways.
She rightly points out that sin is not limited to one organization. The earlier posts referencing New Tribes detail that. I could give you names of students in my classroom who would bear testimony to that. Others on this blog (Brown Skinned Girl) have referenced situations that were not rightly taken care of even after many years. Stephanie also gives evidence of following this blog for some time, which would include reading back through the plethora of comments.
Your stories have been recounted in extensive detail that have rightly brought about long-overdue action that needed to happen from the mission. Just because some people at the mission have not acted well or wisely in this case, however, does not mean they have not taken right or helpful actions in other areas, and Stephanie is correct as an MK and a serving missionary with MKs to bring that to a point of reminder.
This story is still happening. Many wrongs have been recorded. You state that “You must remember, there are a few men in the home office for whom most ot the things said on this blog were not news. And yet, still they failed to act until they were pushed into a corner and their failure was exposed to their entire board and churches and other Christians.”
This blog will put into permanent reminder for the foreseeable future that the wrong actions of people are recorded. It is not a wrong or bad thing to also record the right actions of people, both the “few men in the home office” who must now do what is right, nor for the *many* in a large organization for whom this information is news, and who have been faithfully serving Christ in many ways throughout the globe, completely unaware of this situation.
Justice should and must be brought about and sins that have been ‘swept under the carpet’ must be exposed as sin and dealt with biblically and completely. Had this situation been dealt with in such manner back when it occurred, we would not in this position today. However, because it was not, the fact remains that as the victims seek justice and right actions, that it is not as simple a situation with which to deal as it would have been to deal with at that time, for there are a.) many people who have not known anything about it at all until this blog and b.) right and good things that have been taking place in the time since these crimes occurred.
It is absolutely correct to keep the whole picture in mind. Justice must take place. But justice, by its very definition involves dealing RIGHTLY with the crimes committed by the people who committed them and takes into account the whole picture that demonstrates only holding those accountable who bear responsibility, and not tarring and feathering people who have no knowledge whatsoever of this situation as opposed to the few you mention that do.
Justice, being dependent on truth, also rightly seeks to view the whole picture. While ABWE has demonstrated definitive failure in certain areas, they have also demonstrated specific rightness of action in other areas, and a missionary, MK Mom and former MK, who did not hesitate to call out the failures of the mission, is just as right to bring a reminder of the whole truth…that which we should all seek.
You are right, Deborah.
That’s why I told Stephanie I was glad to hear her story.
I only meant to remind her that during the very time that she felt ABWE as an organization to be supportive of MKs, the top levels of administration were not. Many of us were deceived by our feelings of trust in the 70s and 80s and even 90s and as recently as the last decade.
Perhaps we need to revisit the language that we use here on the blog, because specifics can help others not become defensive. Rarely has anyone here tried to condemn ALL of ABWE. We all realize there are many innocent bystanders who did not have a clue of what was happening under their noses or even on the other side of the globe from them. This is because of a culture of silence that has been put up with until recently.
I, personally, will try to restrict my criticism of ABWE to those at the top level: the president and the lawyer, for example. These men remain culpable, and the confession from the whole does not ring with truth until these men have made personal amends and taken action to right wrongs and demonstrate true repentance.
We continue to wait for the feet of true repentance to leave their mark.
–Tamara Barrick Rice
I’m trying to get this to post beneath your latest response (April 1st, 2011, 5:01 p.m.).
Thank you for your response, Tamara. I remain in prayer for you all!
Tamara,
I have lost track of who said what. That doesn’t really matter because what I say here is not directed at any specific post but the whole. Referring directly to your statement as an example, “I am glad to hear your story.” To me, this did not sound like what you say you meant. I winced when I read that sentence. It came across to me as dismissive of what she said because her words were not an identical affirmation of yours. It is not just this sentence where I have heard this message. I have sensed this attitude in many of the posts. It seems that whenever someone expresses a moderating view, it is jumped on with the assumption that if the writer is not equally enraged then they must be “on the other side.”
I encourage you to pause. Please remember that right now your emotions are running at high intensity, understandably so. You are impassioned for justice that is too long in coming. In your pain, please try to hear some outside voices. We are with you. We desire good for you. We desire to help you safely through this storm. We want you to come out the other side joyfully and with no regrets.
I think of something that happened when I was in high school. Landing from a jump, my friend’s knee twisted and she fell writhing in pain and gnashing her teeth. Yes! Gnashing of teeth is real! I went down on my knees next to her. Fortunately I have quick reflexes or she would have taken a chunk out of my arm. As it was, I had a giant bruise. She had no idea she was doing that. Later of course, she felt sorry.
While this story doesn’t totally fit, I hope you can hear the message that I am trying to communicate. In your pain right now, you are lashing out, gnashing your teeth. We want to keep you from harming something you don’t mean to harm.
I think I speak for most with these words. If we could, we would make it all better. We can’t. All we can do is cry as we hold you. Please let us hold you.
Dear “An ABWE MK”–
I disagree with you. Who said what actually matters.
I said to Stephanie: “Hi, Stephanie. I am very glad to hear of your story. However … ”
I also said to Stephanie: “I don’t discount your experience. I just wish to remind you, that we, too, might have once said the things you are saying.”
And when Deborah stood up for Stephanie’s perspective, I said: “You are right, Deborah. That’s why I told Stephanie I was glad to hear her story. I only meant to remind her … ”
And I also said to Deborah: “Rarely has anyone here tried to condemn ALL of ABWE. We all realize there are many innocent bystanders who did not have a clue of what was happening under their noses or even on the other side of the globe from them …”
“An ABWE MK,” who said what actually matters.
I have never asked that you “hold me.” I have others to do that, and that is not what I ask for here. What I ask for, what we ask for, is action. The only regret I plan on having at the end of this is the regret I’ve lived with for 22 years: That as a 15-year-old girl (and even younger) I did not raise my voice when I saw evil, that I did not speak boldy against those who were not behaving with integrity, that I did not risk my reputation and my “testimony” to save myself or my friend from harm.
–Tamara Barrick Rice
PS If you are truly “with” us as you say you are, I challenge you to consider the impact you might have here and with ABWE if you were to go by your actual name and not “An ABWE MK.” Just consider it. I’m respectfully asking you to put feet to your words and tell us who you are, so that all around you would know that you are with us too. As you say you were not from Bangladesh, this shouldn’t be as much of a leap of faith for you as it has been for the rest of us to stick our necks and our names and our families’ names where our beliefs are and stand up on behalf of those who have been dismissed and put aside for too long. Just think about it.
I wish to restate what I said above, but in a very different way, as it was hurtful to “An ABWE MK.”
I apologize for pressuring this person to use their name. I was not considering other things that they may wish to keep private. I respect that, and as a blog we respect that there will be many who come here and wish to speak without using their names.
I support that.
My reaction was from the perspective of one who has a hard time being called out publicly by a nameless and faceless person. But essentially I think “AN ABWE MK” and I are on the same side, I respect their wish to be anonymous, and will work out the differences and misunderstandings in private. I apologize again for any hurt I caused them by making them feel that if they did not use their name here, their comments were not welcome. — Tam
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)
You who have suffered so much and you who have stood up to demand justice toward DK and accountability from the those who covered or glossed over his crimes, in my book, deserve a crown. May “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” comfort you in your afflictions which hopefully will soon fade into the past.
I really continue praying for Susie Beals(can’t remember married name) and other involved on this blog. What courage to speak up.
Pastor Mike and Diane Eleveld – thanks you for your prompt responses both to my blog and then Dave’s. It is very good to realize that someone(s) besides Mom and Dad have been hit with the realization that this just may a reason that there came such changes and then departing the state in 1990 etc. We so appreciated you both when being youth pastor and wife, and then to “Sr” pastor when Pastor P retired. Our kids loved you both too. Thanks for the continued care and concerns.
Mike and Diane D. Thank you for your response, too. Including that your sister is now communicating with you again. I don’t see her by name or family name, but are you the family who moved into House #10 when we left BD??? It seems to piece together as a possibility.
Cheryl P: Thanks for your comments too,
Deb Barrick(? married name) thanks for assurance of your prayers.
Yes, my family moved into House #10 after you left. Our family name has not been posted. Most BD people know who we are. My sister has not posted her story yet but it is here for all to see. Read the new attachments at the top of the page.
I cannot speak anymore…I am at a loss for words. The newly attached documents are sobering…I remember it as if it were yesterday. I am filled with sorrow. The doctor was indeed matter-of-fact about it all. Aunt Kit was grieved, but in a very, very sad sort of way.
I don’t really know what to say. I’m so sorry for your loss, too. I cannot imagine your pain in learning all this news 22 years later. I’m sorry. I pray for Shelly.
Diana
to the moderators
interesting that my response to Tamara didn’t make it past the moderators
are you engaging in the same behavior that you are criticizing?
[ORIGINAL CONTENT REMOVED BY TAM]
My attempt to explain why the post was not published did more harm than good. And I regret that in an effort to help the situation, I made it worse.
An ABWE MK and I are emailing in private, and finding good common ground and understanding. I believe we both believe in the same things, but have very different ways of communicating. As they pointed out to me, their English is not my English. =) I think we can all relate to that happening–especially on the internet when we do not know each other.
We will commit to keeping our now peaceful dialog private.
I apologize for the unfairness of posting my side of AN ABWE MK’s comment, without posting their actual comment for others to judge for themselves. This was unfair.
They have added constructive thoughts many times to the dialog here, and will continue to do so. I also apologize again (as I will in the comments above) for challenging their anonymity. They have their reasons, and it’s not for me to question as we have invited anonymity in this blog and will continue to support that.
– Tam
Our family of four came to Malumghat for a short-term assignment during the summer of 1989 so Ed could train Bengali x-ray technologists.
We have been reading this blog since it started and planned to post on it after we could carefully think through what to write. Though we were only in Malumghat for those four weeks, we realized that we need to share what we experienced because we are the only short-termers who can further confirm the truth that has been posted by so many others.
The after day we arrived in Malumghat, Russ Ebersole and Russ Lloyd called a meeting for all the adult Malumghat missionaries, the purpose being to inform them of Donn’s specific sin and the specific girl he had abused. They had privately confronted him the prior day. The meeting was also to announce his immediate dismissal from ABWE. None of the Malumghat children were included in the meeting, with the possible exception of the victim’s sisters. We can’t remember whether or not they attended.
It was the desire of ABWE that we not attend because of our short-term status. However, though we’d just met the parents of this precious girl, they insisted that we be included. They knew that if we were excluded, our service in Malumghat would have been severely limited. They also knew we would have been perplexed, sensing that something was very wrong. Also, it would have been very stressful for the career missionaries to “keep up appearances” in the midst of the sorrow they were all experiencing.
The meeting was exactly what you have read – including the fact that all the missionaries were instructed to never talk about Donn’s sin, even among themselves or in their families, because ABWE was handling the necessary discipline. We were all told that talking about Donn and his sin would be gossip, which would be sin on our part.
What was not told in the meeting was the truth that Donn Ketcham had actually disqualified himself from missionary service several times in the past by his own sexual sins with adults, yet ABWE had not dismissed him from all ABWE service when they should have done so.
We fully trusted that ABWE would: (1) Report Donn’s criminal activity to Michigan authorities. (2) Fully inform the pastor of his sending church about his specific sin. (3) Fully inform the pastors of each of his supporting churches. As so many have already expressed, we thought that ABWE was doing what was right. Had we known that they lied about Donn’s sin by telling only the minimal information to his pastor and had not reported it to proper authorities, any of us would have exposed the truth.
Because of our trust in ABWE and commitment to submitting to those in authority, we only shared what we could. In missionary reports and when talking with friends we said that Ed completed his training as planned and that Dona packed the belongings of a missionary family who had to end their missionary service unexpectedly and move back to the USA. We seldom, if ever, even identified who left the field.
The pastor of our home church in Portage was a member of ABWE’s Board in 1989. Because of this, we assumed he had all the facts. When we returned we only explained that the major part of my service was packing everything for the Ketcham’s, assuming he knew that Donn’s sin was actually pedophilia, not the vague term “sexual impropriety”. We now believe we assumed wrongly.
The next pastor of our church was Mike Eleveld, who had been the pastor of Donn & Kitty’s sending church. Because we assumed he had been told the full truth, when we talked about our mission trip we only mentioned the physical and emotional task of helping Ketcham’s pack to leave. Because of ABWE’s clear command in the meeting, we believed that we should not speak of the specific sin. However, as soon as the blog started, Ed called Mike so he would be aware of the blog. Mike was shocked to hear for the first time that Donn Ketcham was dismissed from ABWE because of his sexual abuse of a child. If he had known the truth, Mike would have carried out his role as Donn’s pastor much differently.
After the victim’s family returned to the United States we kept in contact, attending their daughters’ weddings, a Graduation Openhouse and a few other events. After a few years, we lost our connection with them. We think maintaining our friendship was one more reminder of the tragedy of their daughter’s abuse and what has now been revealed as the abuse and neglect of their entire family by ABWE.
We went to Bangladesh knowing what Ed’s task was, but God’s purpose in sending me (Dona) with him soon became clear. God knew that the Malumghat Missionaries needed a short-termer to accomplish what would have been so difficult for them. Because we were not intimately connected with the Ketcham’s, it was easier for me to help them pack their belongings than for those who were their close friends and colleagues. It may also have been easier for Kitty. The Lord has given me organizational abilities, so I was able to efficiently “pack up their lives” at the time Kitty could not do so for herself.
Last week, I (Ed) personally contacted an ABWE administrator to encourage ABWE to do the right thing this time. Yesterday I called him back after I read ABWE’s published confession to thank him and to further encourage ABWE to seek an outside party for a full investigation.
We didn’t fully realize the burden these years of silence have been until the blog proclaimed the truth and instantly we both felt the relief of a heavy load being lifted. This only lets us understand a very tiny bit of how huge the burden of hiding the abuse has been for each victim and family and the great sorrow they’ve felt at ABWE’s neglect. We are so sorry. We pray that the God of all comfort and of unfailing love will continue to bring healing and peace to all of you.
To you, Dear 1989 Victim and to Your Family: We came to love you twenty-two years ago and we love you today. Though we lost contact with you, we prayed for you as God brought you to mind during these many years. Now that we have been able to tell Jim and Kristen the full truth, they are able to pray for you too.
To you Ladies who Began this Blog and Courageously Revealed ABWE’s and Donn’s Sins: We want you to know that we fully support what you have done with this Blog. We are proud of the way you have spoken the truth and of the wisdom shown in your postings and responses to others. We pray that you will continue to respond with the grace and love you’ve shown to date. We will continue to hold each of you up before the Lord. We also are very proud of the fact that you pursued every means possible with ABWE prior to this public forum.
To the Many who have Posted on this Blog: Your words have challenged Dona and me in our own walk with the Lord because of the wisdom you’ve shown, even when what you wrote was often such sorrowful news. Thank you.
What a joy it has been to see that you 1989 Malumghat Kids, as well as MK’s we knew long before that, have grown in knowing and trusting the Lord! This is surely a testament to God’s work in your lives, and to your submission to Him despite the tragedy you have experienced. To God be the Glory!!
Ed and Dona Martin, Portage, Michigan (Short-term Malumghat Missionaries, 1989)
Uncle Ed & Aunt Dona –
All I can say in this hour of tremendous grief is….thank you. Your words mean so, so much. Thank you.
Five more documents have been posted at the top of the blog that describe in detail how ABWE handled the 14 year old victim and the pedophile.
My wife and I weep as we read what took place. These documents show the absolute failure on the part of the leadership of ABWE. A Third Party Investigation must take place ASAP.
A 14 year old wants to talk to her parents and you call that “suspicious”? Absolutely unbelievable. You tell her not to tell her parents everything. Who do you think you are? You usurped the God-given parental authority in her life. You write a confession and practically force her to sign it? By your own testimony “she is unwilling to sign the confession.”
Her family was told, ASSURED that it was not sexual intercourse. Your own notes reveal that it is “highly probable” that they did engage in sexual intercourse. Can you imagine discovering this 22 years after the fact? Can you imagine how the confession alone was hard to discover, but now THIS? You have heaped sorrow upon sorrow and grief upon grief in concealing the truth from them.
You KNEW, you KNEW! Dr. Ketcham confesses his sin with a “witty spirt” and you bring him home and tell the world he committed a “MORAL INDISCRETION”! As if he had hid a dirty magazine between his mattresses! You questioned his sincerity and still “enabled him to represent himself as a former medical missionary in his community without having to acknowledge his crime.”
As a representative of this family, we are offended. We are hurt. We are angry. We are surprised…again. We are betrayed. We cannot begin to express the emotion welling up inside our hearts. A good, hard cry cannot even begin to cleanse the pain we feel tonight.
You, Dr. Russell Lloyd, ask these questions on page 5: “The fact remains that we saw no remorse. Is this man really broken? Really repentant? Really ready to do business with God? Only time will tell.”
We ask those of you in leadership at ABWE: “The fact remains that we see no remorse. Are you really broken? Really repentant? Really ready to do business with God?” Time has run out….
Your next step in order to prove the sincerity of your confession is to submit to the Third Party Investigation. It must be G.R.A.C.E. The victims and their families would trust no one else that you would recommend, nor should they.
Righteously Angry,
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
Right now I am going to say a FEW words. I have to get over crying and ANGER to say what I want to say. Russ and Russ. HOW COULD YOU??? My daughter wanted to talk with me and her mom and you wouldn;t allow her? How did you have the guts to force her to sign a confession that YOU wrote when she didn;t want to and had her sign it without us present. Even before you were at the hospital. You also kept your thoughts from us about the possibility of intercourse. You both are fathers. Would you like me to do what YOU did to us? We believed in you, looked up to you and trusted you. NOT NOW. You sacrificed our daughter and family on the alter of Ketchums reputation. We lost our daughter that day and didn’t know why she closed out her family. She thought we knew and okayed everything when in fact we knew nothing. We are going to INSIST that you have a third party investigation by GRACE and soon. Father of 14 yr old
I just read those and I want to scream. I am crying. I want to grab them and shake them and scream, HOW COULD YOU! HOW COULD YOU! — And I am not her father, or mother, or sisters, or friends. — I can’t begin to imagine the depth of your pain or the breadth of your anger.
Such pain, such pain.
They were suspicious of her?, but gave Donn and Kitty the benefit of the doubt!!! How could they!!!
They shielded a criminal. Their own acts are criminal! In the name of God they did the work of the devil.
Even if they came from a world without radios, schools, communities, etc. and had their heads buried in the sand and didn’t know anything about child abuse, (NOT) —
— they knew, they KNOW 1 Corinthians 5! Verses 9-13 are NOT hard to interpret.
Russ, Russ, and anyone else who knew the truth about DK disobeyed the very word of God.
I believe these sins are just the fruit. God help us kill this plant and rip out its very roots, roots of theological deception, roots of relying on self, roots of the robes of religion, roots of living according to the rules of religion, roots of cultural acceptance by our religious comrades, and more and more and more….
I am hurt beyond words. We were told this could be painful. That is an understatement! How I hurt for my parents being one myself I can only imagine what they are feeling. A father tries to protect his daughter in every way he can. Trusting that those he works with and knows, especially in a Christian environment, he can trust. I guess not.
Dad, mom and to my sister, I wish I could take all this away. I am sorry it is so painful. We love you guys very much. I know it will all work out for God’s glory. I KNOW IT! God always wins in the end! ALWAYS!
To Russ, Russ, Don Davis, Dr. Loftis and all that are behind this. It is time for a third party investigation! Put action to your words. Because right now, more than before, that was all meaningless! You have a lot of work to do. I am sure you are scurrying around the office wringing your hands wondering “how can we cover this one up?” I can see it like I have seen it done before.
ABWE, I have and will continue to pray for all of you old members, and all new, that you will have a changed heart to do the right thing from here on out. The ball is STILL in your court!
Very hurt sister
Whichever sister this is, and to the others, my heart aches anew for you all this morning. I was sickened by what I read, and as someone who is not unfamiliar with the language of abusers and those who enable them, those journals took it to a whole new level.
My prayers go with you today.
“The Lord your God is in your midst. The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zeph. 3:17
I love you, Uncle. Your daughter nor your family ever deserved to be treated in this way.
Tam, You are right. No one even if its not our family ever deserves to be treated like this! NO ONE EVER! I am so greatfull to my parents for raising us the way they have despite what heartache we have faced. Life hasn’t been easy but we sure have had two great parents live their lives as great examples of who God is and what He is like. Teaching us by living how we should be as Christians.
Love you mom and dad!
Thanks Rebecca for the prayers and support! Though its tough getting this information that was posted last night we know we have a bigger God than any problem we have. Thank you!
Anne Smith
Is this the same Russ Lloyd?
I tried to copy and paste the picture, but it didn’t work.
http://www.iblministry.org/nbod.htm
Dr. Russell F. Lloyd, Ph.D.
Russ is Founder and President of IBL. He is a retired officer in the United States Air Force with extensive experience in leadership, biblical counseling, and organizational consultation. In addition to his ministry, through IBL, Russ continues to serve as a consultant to leadership in both the public and private sectors.
What is on Russ’ heart is to come alongside of the leadership in ministry and assist them to become more effective for the cause of Christ. What is even more on his heart is his wife, Doris, who ministers with him, and their three adult children; Kim, Jen and Brad.
Yes, it is indeed.
I find it interesting that IBL stands for the Institute of Biblical Leadership. A man with such an obvious lapse in judgement and leadership many years ago is the leader of this organization. There are many words that come to mind… Ironic… Scary… Incredible… Sad…
MODERATOR’S NOTE: WHY COMMENTS DISAPPEAR …
A few questions have been raised about why certain comments are posted and why others are not. I would invite those who raise this question to review the Introduction to the Blog, which states its purpose explicitly. This should answer your question as to why your comment never made it to publication.
On occasion–and when relevant–we have allowed outside voices who are not part of the Bangladesh story to speak here, namely pastors of churches, and family members of the abused. However, when outside voices begin to attack in this place, which is meant to be a safe haven for those who’ve been made to be silent for decades and to be a place where truth can be spoken with freedom, as moderators, we must make a judgment call.
If your comment disappears, it is either a glitch in the system or because your comment is not productive to the goal of the blog and the edification of those who want to be part of this movement to expose a pedophile and urge a mission board to right their many wrongs in this regard.
It is not that we don’t appreciate differing opinions. It is that a differing opinion must be shared in a way that is relevant and respectful of what this place was meant to be.
— Tamara
I totally support moderators screening posts. The victims and families and BD family and larger ABWE and MK families have hurt enough, there is no need to add to the hurt by allowing damaging comments to be posted. Sure, there will be challenges and questions within those appropriate for the purpose of this site… but I am talking about what you have blocked already. I support that and am grateful you use discretion. The purpose is exposure of the truth, allowing victims and families (who are also victims) to have their voice HEARD finally and to support each other. OK that was from memory but i think I got it right!
Secondly, I really like how you are organizing things by topic. 🙂
Keep up the good work…. and by the way, no need to post this one if you dont want, I merely wanted the moderators to be encouraged and supported.
I like what one missionary posted in their post explaining they dont use their names because they have to be “un-google-able” because that is where I am too. 🙂
To the Sweet, Dear 14 yo girl:
I am a pastor’s wife who happens to be an old college friend of Deb Barrick Beddoe. My heart has ached for you as I have read of what was done to you so many years ago. I have lost sleep as I have read through this blog and wished for all of you that the outcome had been different. I wanted you to know that the love and support for you and all of the other victims goes far beyond the Bangladesh and MK family…..it is reaching out into the greater Christian community. We are hearing your cries for justice and healing and are praying for the third party investigation along with you. I cried when I read the diary tonight and how scared you must have been to fly across the world with these men who would not even let you have a moment of privacy with your parents. That was SO wrong of them….how scared you must have felt. I also felt horrified to learn that your parents agonized about what might have been wrong….were they about to be dismissed from the field?…were their daughter’s dead?….had they been in a terrible accident?…Can’t imagine being them and waiting those agonizing days until you arrived. I just want you to know that even though we have never met….you are a sister who is being “lifted up” all across the country and the world. May God richly bless your life and bring peace and healing to your hurting soul.
Loving you with Christ’s Love,
Leigh Ann Gentry
(A pastor’s wife from Colorado!)
To my old friends with four wonderful daughters —
I am so very sorry that you were treated in such an unjust, sinful way back in 1989. Even though I’ve had bits and pieces of information, the most recent documents are shocking. And I’m sorry that you have had to endure even more wrong from people you respected and trusted in the 22 years since. It isn’t right! Your family has paid a massive price for your years of service in Bangladesh. You deserve truth, honor and respect from ABWE not empty promises and coverups.
I cannot begin to imagine your sorrow tonight. You are right to be angry.
It’s been many, many years since I last saw you, but I love you still.
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,” wrote Sir Walter Scott. Our hearts go out to you our dear friends who have suffered so much for so long. And now you learn these new things. “Though [the Lord] causes grief, Yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. For He does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.” There is much anger, too, we can understand that as well. The roller coaster of emotions on that day so long ago is hard to comprehend, from the relief that your other daughters were not dead (because why else had there been no mention of them when you were told these men were traveling half way around the world, bringing only the youngest back to you), then still in a state of shock, but with relief over that, to the new painful unreality of what you were told had happened and then the hurt and the anger at what was done by your respected, trusted next door neighbor. Our hearts break for you, and pray that God will bring healing to your family. May your souls say with the Prophet Jeremiah, “The LORD is my portion, therefore I have hope in Him!” Certainly, man has failed you in so many respects (that’s why our hope is in God, right?). Probably, being in their own sort of shock and dismay, R & R thought they were doing the right things, though it didn’t really take long to know that it was not right. May God comfort you, our dear friends, as we all, these dozens of friends on this blog, pray together for healing for all those hurt in so many ways.
Love and prayers,
Barb B.
When did these new documents posted on the top become available? Did you just receive them? You may have mentioned it in earlier posts so I apologize if I’m re-asking a question.
We have heard several times about losing contact with us. We have been hurt so much in many different areas of ABWE that we just pulled back. We came home and just closed up. This blog is showing us our friends and family are still there and we are sorry for pulling back. Thankyou for being open and honest and we would like to rebuild those friendships again.
I want you to know that over the years we realized you must be feeling something like this. Either that or just the busyness of life had interfered. I hope you know, from all we have walked through together, that we love you as much as we ever have (possibly more, now?) and will continue to pray for you during these horrible days of reliving all of this. If reading the blog and those diaries has made me grieve and have a horrible knot in my stomach – how much more for you, your family and all others affected by this. And if, throughout the years, we have done anything to make it harder for you to be with us, please contact us so we can clear the air, apologize and assure you of our love.
To the parents of the victim,
I love you both.
I have such fond memories of you in Malumghat. Even though I lived in Chittagong, I loved the time I could spend with you. You are part of my childhood and adolescence.
I remember playing Phase 10 late into the night when Jon & Brian were staying with you.
I remember all the rides in the jeep and in haati. I loved those.
I remember your daughters and how much I looked up to them.
There are so many more memories that stick out that I’m thankful I remember.
I’m so sorry that I had no idea what was going on and to what extent. I weep for your family. I am praying for grace and comfort as you walk forward.
You are still part of our family and we love you.
OK, now that Russ Lloyd’s notes have been published and the father of the 14 year old victim has spoken, I must retract every criticism that the victims and their families have been too shrill. I am sorry. I didn’t know. I admire you and your Christian spirit more than ever.
Separating this 14 year old from her parents in the way detailed above and concealing the full truth from them and then imposing the code of silence over the missionary family is vast in its awfulness. If this is not enough to cause every father of a daughter who lives and breathes in this world to grab a pitchfork and march up the hill in Harrisburg, I don’t know what will!
ABWE, do you want us to trust you? Submit to an investigation by GRACE. It is clear now that your wonderful confession of 3/30/2011 doesn’t cut it. How many times will you be forced to confess more?
Dave DeCook
I know, Dave. It has been a hard road for this family. It has been hard for all of us who know more than is ever mentioned here on this blog. But others must trust us when we say that righteous anger is appropriate in this place. As ABWE fails to act, as more pieces of the puzzle fall out here … more will be left with their mouths hanging open, with sudden and horrible understand for the veracity of our cries for justice.
Dave – You have no idea. No idea. Thank you for now understanding that the decibel must grow louder, not softer. We must insist on GRACE doing the 3rd party investigation. The story gets worse…trust me.
Father of the 14 yr. old victim, I weep with you!!!!
Russ and Russ, you mishandled this right from the start!
1. You should have NEVER been alone with this fragile 14 year old girl, especially on a trip that takes about 24 hours.
2. By your actions, you further traumatized her and added to her pain.
3. You should have had her pastors’ wife or another woman she trusted accompany her to Bangladesh.
4. You deprived her of her rights by keeping her from talking to her parents and not allowing her to have a trusted female companion to travel with.
In Ezra chapter 8-9, Ezra the Priest discovers that the previous spiritual leadership had failed and the people had intermarried. Ezra’s response is the only response I see is appropriate for ABWE at this juncture.
Ezra 9:
3 “So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished.
6 And I said: “O my God, I am too ashamed and humiliated to lift up my face to You, my God; for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens.”
In through chapter 9 and 10, Ezra has to clean up what the previous leadership messed up. You are the leadership who must clean up the mess from the previous leadership.
ABWE leadership, YOU MUST ACT ON BEHALF OF THOSE WHOM YOU HAVE ALLOWED TO BE ABUSED and submit to a third party they trust, regardless of whether you agree with the organization or not. It is not about ABWE, it is about these young women and their families who have been victimized for 22 years and the many others in earlier years.
By Ezra’s ACTION the people knew where he stood and were willing to follow his lead.
Exactly!!
He goes to Grace Community Church in Hudsonville. The news came out on a Wed. and the paper exposed him the following Tues. He was at a Bible study Wed. night.
Dear Dr. Loftis, ABWE, and Board:
Lest our continued silence be construed as apathy, indifference or fear, we write this open letter.
We are shocked to recently learn that the child victim was even denied a female counselor and seems to have been treated as almost an equal perpetrator with Mr. Ketchum. We are horribly disappointed to learn that the two who accompanied her back to Bangladesh tried to keep her from her parents. From her parents…! We are made ill by the fact that the truth of Ketchum’s offenses was withheld from the home church!
Who at ABWE authorized such things? Who did Russ Ebersole discuss his letter with before sending it? Is the supporting church really as important as ABWE says it is?
In the light of your apparent resistance to a third-party investigation, how do we continue to proudly call ourselves “ABWE missionaries”?
In the absence of ABWE turning this matter over promptly to GRACE, as demanded by those most hurt by your previous shocking failure to treat these matters with the proper regard, we will be forced to inquire into the feasibility of obtaining another mission board. This greatly saddens us, as we have loved our association with all at ABWE.
Dr. Loftis, we urge you to move quickly on this matter, and to make some kind of statement immediately. We need to hear from you.
John and Beverly (we did sign our last name in our email to the recipients-we work under George & Deb and have to keep our last name “un-google-able”. They can tell you who we are.)
ABWE, Asia (2001-present)
And please Dear John, when GRACE is given the go ahead to delve into this matter of sexual abuse, and abuse of the BD missionary families, please also point them in the direction of the abuse that took place in your presence while you were seated on a board as a representative of ABWE for a joint ministry. Again I say there is a systemic problem at the very core of how ABWE does business.
My wife and I have stood in the shadows of brokenhearted and disgusted onlookers these past 18 days. We thank God for the courage and unflinching commitment to exposing lies on the part of the victims and their families. We commit to uphold you in prayer until there is deep spiritual cleansing and healing. Not being MK’s, until now we have simply read and prayed. But perhaps I can lend a small measure of support to the blog’s primary stated purpose—“to bring into the light what has previously been kept in the dark”…
In 1994, two years after completing my training in general and thoracic surgery, I was confronted with the desperate need for surgeons at MCH. Thus began a several month journey of sorting out whether God was indeed calling us to serve in Bangladesh, without the benefit of a field visit. During this prayer and fact-finding phase I was informed by a Ketcham family member that I needed to sit with the mission’s senior administration to hear DK’s story. I was subsequently given a sanitized summary of the dismissal, described as an episode of moral failure in an otherwise giant of a man. On the verge of a major, life-changing decision—and legitimately fearing an “Achan syndrome” (cf. Josh. 7)—I pressed for more details about his affair (my assumption). However, I was firmly reassured that nothing more needed to be said, as the problem had been tucked in long ago. Soon thereafter we applied for service, attended candidate class, and upon completing my military commitment we embarked on pre-field. Despite the efforts on the part of many, however, the DK scandal stubbornly refused to go away, both during pre-field and throughout our 14+ years on the field…like the stench of something dead in a house.
Like many on this blog, we struggled to understand how and when the nightmare had begun—1989? 1986? 1975? Before we left for the field in 1996, one senior missionary wife confided to us that she felt uncomfortable being around DK within the first three months of his arrival on the field in 1963. We pressed for clarification, and were sickened to learn that her concerns had only worsened after a stash of pornography was discovered sometime later during DK’s first term. Together with the posted account of his “confession” (July, 1989), in retrospect we can see that DK lost the battle against predatory sexual lust starting as a teen, and carried this demon to the field with him in 1963. So if we are going to be honest in this “post-mortem” of where things went horribly awry, it would seem that DK’s screening process during application to ABWE (1961?) was woefully lacking. The year-by-year fallout from that failure is horrifying—we clap our hands over our mouths and stare in shock as we consider the devastation among the long line of victims (primary, secondary, tertiary…).
Meanwhile, to comment on one small detail, as a board-certified missionary surgeon I can affirm what other physicians have plainly stated about the inappropriateness of DK’s exams on adolescent and teen girls—on either side of the ocean.
ABWE’s confession posted on 3/31 is indeed a strong first step—but nothing more than that. Some very specific action will be required in the days (not weeks or months) ahead to restore confidence and trust in all of us. Specifically, Stephanie and I wholeheartedly endorse the call for a third party investigation by G.R.A.C.E., to commence the sooner the better.
Looking ahead, a few more thoughts for further action come to mind:
1. Establish a carefully-designed, password-protected website for anyone—female/male, BD/USA, white/brown—who believes they were violated by DK to confidentially submit their complaint. All information should be accessible by G.R.A.C.E.. (A blog entry on Wood TV’s site might also be helpful. Other ideas?)
2. Re: MCH Medical Records – [EXCUSE ALL CAPS: CONTENT REMOVED DUE TO SENSITIVE NATURE… CONTACT THE BLOG MODERATORS BY WRITING A POST THAT SAYS “DO NOT POST” IN LARGE LETTERS, INCLUDE YOUR REQUEST FOR THE INFO WE REMOVED HERE, AND WE WILL HAPPILY PASS IT ON TO ANY AND ALL BANGLADESH MK’S, AS WE SO APPRECIATE DR. KELLEY’S PROVISION OF IT. SIMPLY IDENTIFY YOURSELF IN YOUR POST TO US, AND WE’LL GET YOU DR. KELLEY’S INFO. THANK YOU, DR. KELLEY]
3. Assemble a task force (preferably with outside consultation) to deal with the numerous ramifications for the field. To what extent has the Achan effect hamstrung our efforts in southeastern BD? Who else has been hurt?—36 families buried innocent loved ones as a result of Achan’s implosion, and numerous others carried lifelong scars. DK’s career of wickedness would seem to dwarf Achan’s momentary act of greed. We know there have been many ripple effects—but how far out have they extended? To what extent does this explain some of our recurring setbacks and heartaches in spiritual warfare on this field? Are there still any teaching materials authored by DK in use in the Bible college or elsewhere? How has whispered knowledge of this five-decades-old scandal caused nationals to stumble—or to negatively influence how missionaries teach and model Biblical discipline? As already pointed out by Dr. Dan DeCook, we shouldn’t brush aside the imminent Bangladesh Railway threat as unrelated to this mess—could God be graciously providing a hard-to-miss visual metaphor for us? Moreover, we are about to embark on building a desperately-needed, replacement MCH, and have faced innumerable delays and frustrations. I have little doubt why. What a God-orchestrated opportunity to see the name of the project, “The MCH Renewal Project”, take on an even richer meaning than we conceived—if we indeed act biblically this time around.
As with the rest of you, our first priority is to see long-concealed sin brought into the light and true healing begin for the suffering. Beyond that? Our team’s utmost desire and longing remains unchanged—spiritual “fruit that remains”, and the planting and strengthening of many churches in this dark corner of the globe. But until this sordid mess is dealt with biblically and thoroughly, I have no confidence that we will live to see the blessing of the Lord on this field.
Looking to Christ—our ONLY Hope,
Steve
I agree with you, Steve. It is time to clean house. Over a decade ago I tried to bring the truth to ABWE about national “pastors” and their corruption! This is information that not only I knew about, but hundreds of nationals knew about it as well. I believe many missionaries, like you, are good. But why has evil flourished under ABWE in Bangladesh? Why are these ABWE-patronized men in Cox’s Bazar, Malumghat, Patiya, Banshkhali, Chittagong, Kalurghat, etc., allowed to abuse their own people with impunity? Where did they learn this stuff? I think the answer is starting to become clear. And why do your field leaders there turn a blind eye to the truth?
I have all kinds of evidence in my possession that would shock the ABWE world if brought to light (including at least 3 rapes committed by your national leaders). I offered it to ABWE’s field leadership in Bangladesh and then, later, took it to the ABWE headquarters, but I was met with stony silence each time. I was finally able to bring up one particular case (the proverbial “tip of the iceberg”) and was promised an investigation, which never really took place. Instead, a meeting was called at my home church—over our objections—at which a heavy duty team from ABWE (Will Davis, Kent Craig, Jim Long & Harold Ebersole) came to share with my supporters—who were invited by ABWE—that this was really a big misunderstanding, that there was no need to investigate since Harold knew this guy was a well-respected Bible teacher and preacher. Harold knew this because he “spends his time with the pastors while Phil hangs out with his soccer buddies.” This great “Bible teacher and preacher” from Cox’s Bazar finally became such a stench there that he was kicked out for yet another case of assaulting a woman (this in addition to the earlier rapes of two minors). Now this “great” man has moved on to become the pastor of ABWE’s largest church in Bangladesh, Memorial Baptist, right under the noses of all the ABWE missionaries living at Memorial Christian Hospital. Does anyone see any parallels between ABWE’s handling of Donn Ketcham’s matter and their handing of their favorite national leaders?
So I guess this is my attempt at answering your question about what is being learned by the nationals. Of course, this begs the question: Is a new hospital really that “much needed” if this is what the nationals are learning from us?
Phil – I am so sorry to hear of their treatment of you. I am offended for you! How dare they?
I notice another similarity – not to be unkind but to simply point out observed facts – is Harold’s last name “Ebersole”? Seems favoritism is a big, BIG thing with these “good ‘ol boys”.
Yes, Harold is Russ’s son by marriage. Harry and Nancy Goehring with their three young children arrived in Bangladesh as ABWE missionaries in 1963. Harry died suddenly in 1965. Russ and wife were ABWE missionaries with 5 children. She died in 1964. Russ and Nancy married in 1969 when Harold was 10.
As moderators we have struggled with the pressure we have been under to remove posts that point to the cover up of sexual sins on the mission field in Bangladesh by those at ABWE–and we’re not just talking about Donn Ketcham. We’re talking about Bengali pastors and other missionaries and leaders.
Readers, know this: Nothing being said on this blog about those matters is news to those who were on the field with Phil Walsh. Nothing being said on this blog is news to the Bengalis around the missionaries–who as one wisely pointed out, probably noticed every time we blew our noses (with a kleenex!).
We will not be afraid of truth. We will not be bullied.
Missionaries have been in much greater danger and if they wish to remove themselves from any perceived, imagined or real danger they have the means at their disposal to do so (being: full disclosure of truth, reconciliation, restitution, or locking themselves in and letting the darwans watch over them). It would not be the first time. I am sorry if I sound callous. But I cannot protect those who have made their own beds, and neither will Susannah.
Phil, we stand with you.
— Tamara Barrick Rice
(To the moderators: Perhaps another thread should be started for Russ Lloyd’s diary? And how can we reach Russ Lloyd? Or whichever department head he works with at ABWE?)
Russ Lloyd – I have never met you nor am I a mental health provider. However, your diary of the events from July of 1989 raises some significant questions. Please know my tone is not a judgmental one, but rather, a perplexed one. I am just trying to gain a greater appreciation of how the language, perceived tone, and documented actions in your diary came about.
1. In the case of pedophilia, how does one consider a 14 year old victim’s reaction “suspicious”, while believing the perpetrator to be “totally truthful”?
2. Is it professionally acceptable to use so many subjective (vs. solely objective) comments in documentation? What makes using phrases such as “Who wants to go to Bangladesh?” relevant, professional, or appropriate? (And to ABWE, how does this show support to the missionaries who have given so much to serve there?) I realize you may not have known that your documentation would become public. (To ABWE, has anything been done to correct the manner in which Russ Lloyd documents his encounters with ABWE missionaries?)
3. As a father, how would you handle receiving a brief message stating that “[only one of your daughters] was ok” when you are the parent of more than one child? And they are half way around the world?
4. How did the decision come about for the 14 year old victim to travel alone with two adult men, neither of whom were her father? What was in place for her to know that you would not violate her?
5. After learning about this case, what was done to ensure the safety (prior to learning about the 14 year old victim, and during the time DK remained on the field) of the other MKs (yes, boys, too) who had been on the field with DK?
Russ, as you can see, there are many questions. I encourage you to read your documentation again and to replace the victim’s name with the name of one of your children or grandchildren.
I am in NO WAY defending how this was handled because it was HORRIBLY mishandled so much I am speechless about it.
But… a few posts asked how they would make a 14 year old fly to BD with 2 men alone. I reread page 2? and it did indicate Russ E’s wife traveled with them… it is hard to see that because names are blacked out. I may be wrong, but in the interest of being factual, I wanted to point that out. It DOES appear she did not have a female present at ALL interactions. In my humble “mental health provider who deals with sexual abuse victims” opinion the young girl should have NEVER been without a female present during this ENTIRE ordeal.
I even take that a step further, on a different note… you know, as a child (MK) I NEVER recall EVER being alone with ANY man for ANY reason with maybe an exception of being in a room with an open door, but I cant even recall that happening, well, except my dad, but he was “safe”. We live in a sick world and we need to protect our children. just my humble opinion.
Dear Clarification –
You have read into the text. I vouch for myself (a witness), the parents and their poor daughters, and all the other missionaries who were present, Nancy Ebersole was not present. She did not fly to BD with the 2 Russ-es and the victim. The was only accompanied only by those two men. I pray other BD missionaries who were present will add their testimony of this truth.
oh my. THANKS for clearing that up. As I said, it was hard to read for clarity when some of the names were covered (thats ok they are covered!)
I cannot FATHOM how it was for this girl to have to endure this alone, at least alone with the men she had to “confess” to. This just makes me all the more sad, mad, words cannot adequately express.
This is so weird because a minor cannot travel without a parent these days and if they have a travel companion, there has to be written permission. And even if it was written, I would assume the parents would think the girls were all traveling together. This is another thing the parents were deprived of in having a say how their children were treated. sad.
Pride. Not these who speak here; but, rather, those who sit at headquarters. I think I remember President Obama using the phrase, in his campaign, “Just Words.” That is apparently all that ABWE officials have offered. As with the President still essentially being “just words,” so it is with ABWE. As I am with the President, weary of it; so I am with ABWE.
I have worked as a volunteer with ABWE missionaries, and I see what they are accomplishing worldwide — BUT, what could they actually see happening in their ministries if there wasn’t sin in the camp? I think about that. What hinders ABWE leadership from taking the right steps — all of them? Pride.
“To him that knoweth to do good but doeth it not, to him it is sin.” (James)
As others have commented, it is overwhelming following all of the intricacies of what has happened; this can easily lead to misunderstanding. If able, could you create a timeline that highlights significant events?
Diane Langberg, who is part of the GRACE organization said these things at a recent conference. This is where I found this information. I am quoting from here: http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/trafficking-and-abuse-conference-theology-of-justice-and-violence-to-women/
There are four posts total at this blog site on aspects of the conference. The above address is just one of them.
Diane Langberg reminded us that complacency is complicity with those who are committing these crimes.
Diane left us with this quote which convicted us of turning a blind eye. In telling us that the only way we could not see the problem is to not look,
Quoting a verse referenced during that conference…
And Jesus tells us in Matt 23:23b that the “weightier matters” of the Christian life have to do with justice and mercy: But you have neglected the more important matters of the law–justice, mercy, and faithfulness
I grieve with my precious uncle and aunt today and their daughters who are like sisters to me. I love you and I am proud to stick my neck out on behalf of the wrong that has been done to you, more than to any of the rest of us, though we all, as it turns out, have something to be angry about.
I am waiting like you for your family to be given respect and honor, for all that you have been put through. And I was never more moved than by how you responded to your daughter when she told you the hardest truth. You loved her unconditionally. No matter what others told her, in that moment, I’m sure (and I pray) she knew she was loved and not blamed. She was valued and treasured and your tears were for what was taken from her.
I love you, my uncle and aunt in Christ and for always.
As I went to bed last night after reading the blog again I was heavy. I had grown heavier over the past 24 hours previous because it seemed we weren’t hearing that ABWE had taken more steps forward past their first step. It appeared they might be thinking that just their apology was good enough. That maybe it was going to help and things would be ok. Anger and frustration does not begin to cover my feelings this morning as I read the new postings from Russ Lloyd’s journal. How awful! For days I have been haunted by the thoughts that this precious 14 year old flew 3/4 around the world with two men to confront her abuser and she was alone with no one to represent her. It was all I could do to function at my work. I can’t imagine what the MK’s and the family of the 14 year old have been going through. I submit to you Brothers and Sisters in the Lord that the theological wheels of this wagon are off. OFF! They are not even in the same universe. We have become so obsessed with wanting the victim to “forgive” the abuser that the victim becomes further abused. We don’t want people to talk because of “gossip” That’s an excuse from the devil and I do believe the scripture clearly says “the truth will set you free.” When not allowed to talk about it, the abused victim is thrown deeper into depression and spiritual death. The abuser (or pedophile in this situation) is then elevated to new heights. We have been taught to “trust authority.” Those over us! They have not been properly trained and also become the abusers. It is beyond my comprehension as a mother and a nurse how ANYONE involved at that time could have let that happen. To continually deny her access to her parents is in my mind beyond comprehension and perhaps criminal. Pretty sure CPS might have wanted to know that one and that’s why they are needed sometimes. If the church isn’t going to protect women and children then who is? He demands much more from us than what we think.
To the families that have been so closely involved I continue to pray, share in your grief and support you 100%. Such a terrible wrong has been done here by those in authority that only a Third Party Investigation by G.R.A.C.E is in order. Anything less than that is not even on the table. I hope they (ABWE) is making that call even as I type.
To the father and family of the 14 year old – All I can say is I’m so sorry! My home is open to you 24/7, the coffee pot is on, and I love you and your family so much. I promise to cry and support and stand by you. We don’t know how or why God puts us in each others paths, why He has allowed us to go through certain trials, but I believe He has “for such a time as this.” Thank you for your courage and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you through this journey.
Someone asked for a picture of Ketcham. Here’s one: http://www.solagrace.org/sites/default/files/Bulletin%20-%20January%202,%202011.pdf
Incidently, the paragraph says they celebrated “57 years of wonderful wedded life!”
I think I am going to throw up.
First of all to family of 14y/o, I am PRAYING for all of you. actually with recent posts, it is even worse than before. I had no idea as you could have read from above posts. We thought you came home b/c of some other reason.
Russ Lloyd and Russ Ebersole: HOW COULD YOU ???????? I am as upset with you 2 as DK now. How could you treat a 14 y/o girl this way and her family as well. It is despicable. May God help us all. ABWE really needs to get GRACE involved ASAP.
Darlene Fidler
Dear Hurting Ladies and their Families,
I am a pastor with ABWE supported and sent missionaries, and I thought I knew the agency fairly well. The revelations of the past 2+ weeks have stunned me. I know all of us are sinners, but ABWE’s actions were unconscionable.
When I heard about ABWE’s sins, I began to pray for you all. And I began to pray that the sins of the past would be dealt with in the present by ABWE.
I’ve avoided posting because I had little to add, and because I preferred to approach the issue out of the public eye. But I want you to know that I believe I speak for many pastors that we ARE urging ABWE to do radical surgery on this cancer that has been allowed to grow. You are doing a good job of putting public pressure on. Others of us need to work behind the scenes.
However, today it is time for you to know that we are here, and we stand with you in urging ABWE to go beyond the confession, which was a good step, and involve an objective third party in this issue. Only when this occurs can trust in ABWE be rebuilt again.
Oh my Dears,
This comes to send my love to and my prayers for you all. I loved you guys as the children I never had. From Linda, who lived next door and came—still in diapers—to the first nursery school, on through Walshes, Olsens, Barricks, Allens, Webers, and many others who came and went through my many classrooms, I wanted only the best for you all. I am so sorry things didn’t work out that way. I don’t say this as an excuse, but it is the truth, I didn’t know, or at least I didn’t know the extent. We, your teachers, should have known, and should have protected you. For that, I apologize and ask your forgiveness. We could have known more if we hadn’t been put under—and abided by—the insistence on silence that Russ Lloyd imposed on us. If only one of us had stood in that SGR 1 living room on that July 23, 1989 afternoon, and said, “We will NOT be silent. We must get to the truth in all of this.” But no one did, and for that I apologize and ask your forgiveness.
Ever the English teacher, I close with a line from Macbeth, albeit I found it in a Jan Karon book: “Give sorrow words: the grief that doesn’t speak whispers o’er the fraught heart and bids it break.”
Please accept a group hug from Aunt Jeannie.
Aunt Jeannie! How I have longed to hear your voice here. Thank you for your words and for expressing how you felt then and feel now. I love you! — Tammy
ABWE board:
Isaiah 1:13-20
“Quit your worship charades.
I can’t stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—
meetings, meetings, meetings—I can’t stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
You’ve worn me out! I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion,
while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance,
I’ll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray,
I’ll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing
people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up.
Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings
so I don’t have to look at them any longer. Say no to wrong.
Learn to do good. Work for justice.
Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless.
Go to bat for the defenseless.
“Come. Sit down. Let’s argue this out.”
This is God’s Message: “If your sins are blood-red,
they’ll be snow-white. If they’re red like crimson,
they’ll be like wool. If you’ll willingly obey,
you’ll feast like kings. But if you’re willful and stubborn,
you’ll die like dogs.” That’s right. God says so.
Has the Glory departed ABWE?
Will Ichabod be written over your door?
http://www.understandthetimes.org/commentary/c71.shtml
In case you do not see my comment above…”Clarification” is wrong. Dead wrong.
Russ Ebersole & Russ Lloyd brought the victim to BD alone. Without a woman. Clarification, if you were not there then please DO NOT offer your two cents. I was there. She was NOT accompanied by a woman and there are many who were there that will testify to this truth.
I have been horribly misunderstood, and I can understand why because emotions of those going through this are high. Accuracy is so important and it hurts to see inaccuracy. But that was the very reason I posted for a clarification, that is why I clearly said I MAY BE WRONG. I was hoping someone would set it clear, and someone did. thanks.
I was asked to not offer my two cents worth because I was not there. I was merely trying to clarify what I read on the diary that was made public and was confusing. I obviously mistook a small “jot” under the blackened name to be a comma, but it was not and I am sorry I make a mistake. I just didn’t want others to be confused as well because like i said, truth and accuracy are important.
I think I will just not post again because one little word typed wrong or read wrong seems to result in being jumped all over with anger, even when attempts are made to make sure it is known I am on your side. I dont want to make emotions fly by my mistakes in reading or interpreting jots. But I do want to say one thing. I hurt too, not as bad, but I hurt. Sin has a way of rippling out far and wide. I knew this whole thing was more than adultery for years. But like so many churches and missionaries, I trusted it was taken care properly because I too believed the lies of the mission. It makes me so mad because had I known it was NOT taken care of perhaps I could have spoken up. But then again, if the very MK’s that have been crying out over the years were not “heard” this MK probably would not have been “heard” either.
In reading through the diaries, I also had trouble figuring that part out – and it did indeed look like Nancy went. I was going to ask the same question. I thought you made your intentions clear and it’s too bad you got the response you did. Words are indeed powerful. Since the development of the internet, I have experienced many times myself how something written can be misunderstood. “I knew what I was thinking when I wrote it, but they read it entirely differently”. This post has been mostly written in a very godly tone and I pray it continues to be so.
Clarification –
Surely you can understand why people are getting jumped on. There have been total outsiders who have offered their two cents and it has been inaccurate. Every day new information is revealed and every few days new documents are posted. That is by design. You would think that the skeptics would now know by now that their ridiculous comments are going to be proved wrong in time.
Since you did not identify yourself as someone who was aware of more re: DK and his indiscretions, how could we know that you are just not another naysayer wanting to protect the organization who did this terrible offense.
I apologize for being so harsh with you. You’re right, you did say you may be wrong. I just wanted people to know that there is no room for misunderstanding those words. She was not accompanied by a woman and did not have a woman present at all times.
ok I said I wouldnt post, but here I am. 🙂
Aunt Jan, thanks, I am glad it is all clear now.
Someone who was present: YES I can understand the reaction. I am pretty frustrated too with some of the posters that have been pretty unsensitive and attacking the truth, not believing things, etc. We are all emotional about this and passionate about it, I get that. Anyway, I am glad the moderators have chosen to not post some of the comments.
I will continue to pray for all who post. When something has been so quiet for so long, and on such a ‘tight knit’ field, many have the need to process through this. I see a lot of that on this blog.
Yeah, a bummer I cant post my name/status. One missionary said it correctly, some people cant have their names “google-able”
Dona and I can confirm that the two Russ’ arrived in Chittagong with the 14 year old victum. We were staying in the guest house and saw them arrive. There was NO woman with them. We later saw them in Malumghadt and there was still no woman with them.
Short termers on the field during this time.
For whatever it’s worth, I wanted to try and encourage all the aunts and uncles who didn’t know:
When Jesus was talking with the disciples at the last supper and said that one of them was going to betray him, THEY WERE ALL CLUELESS! Imagine: three years of walking with our Savior, and they had no idea which one of them it would be.
God help us all to be bold and courageous when we sense something is wrong. It’s a tricky line isn’t? Grace and truth? Only our Savior did it perfectly. God help us to be full of both, not sacrificing one for the other.
I just found this. I’m not a Bangladesh MK, or an MK at all, just a friend of Deb and Tam’s. Even though I’m not directly connected, I find it galling how Donn represents his years in Bangladesh.
Click to access September%202010%20Newsletter.pdf
As the mother of three abused daughters, you have my husband and my most fervent prayers.
I have been following this blog with increasing sadness and pain for all those who have suffered so badly these many years. When we arrived in Bangladesh in 1990 we were befriended by the parents of the 14 year old victim. They helped us in so many ways…and also shared some of their pain with us. And now I sit here appalled after reading the Russ Lloyd diary. I ask myself “how could this have happened?”How awful. I am so sorry this has happened to this dear family.
We cannot expect the Lord’s blessings until these sins and failures have been totally dealt with. We stand with you in your request for an outside investigation.
Tim & Nancy Hepworth
I was there when all of this happened. I agree with the others who are saying that Nancy didn’t come with them. I remember wondering at the time why she had come with the two men and no woman with them. What was her protection during that time? I also feel she should never have been questioned without a woman present. It is hard for me to fathom that men who have been trained to be very careful about not being in a situation with a woman alone because of what people might think would do such a thing with a 14 year old girl. What is to prevent people from talking and being suspicious of them?
We were all in shock to some extent at that meeting where we were told what was happening and not being able to talk even among ourselves made it even more difficult. Each of us has someone that we vent to and we needed that outlet then just as in any other situation. I realize the need to be discrete in who we talked to, but we did need it.
I want all of you girls/ladies to know that I love you and have been praying for you for a long time, but these last two weeks even more than before.
To Dave and Darlene, I’m so sorry to hear about Michelle and will surely be praying that she see this blog site and realize that there are many who love her and would understand and believe her. I will also be praying that she contact you very soon.
Dear parents of 14 year old…we miss you and our hearts ache for you. When we came to Bangladesh in 98-99 you were our closest friends. We saw how you interacted with the Bengalis and always had your home open. Honestly, we wouldn’t have made it through the year without your friendship. In fact when we went around to churches raising support you were part of our presentation. You guys truly show the heart of God and you can see that in the way you treat EVERYONE. When I read through the “new” letters from Russ Lloyd…I am enraged all over again! I have a 14 year old daughter and can’t fathom what she was put through. There are NO words. Just know, we stand beside you through this…we love you…we miss you…and thank you for living Christ in your lives.
Diane….
Thank you. I am sure your kind words mean a lot to them. They mean a lot to me, too.
Diane,
Thank you for your encouraging words. That not only encourages my parents, I know, but us girls as well. We have always seen our parents hearts. They love people unconditionally! They have an open house policy here in the states as well. No matter where they are that is the case. Thank you for the encouragement. We are blessed to have great parents!
Anne Smith
I was directed to this website, and against the advice of the person who gave the recommendation, have been reading for the past several hours.
I should say up-front that I’ve never been to Bangladesh and am not an MK or a PK. I was one of those kids that grew up with the legend of Doctor Don. My dad spoke so highly of him that as a child I ranked Doctor Don with Superman.
In 1989, I came to Newhall. I knew that the Ketchums were state-side and soon became accustomed to seeing these living legends on a weekly basis. I never really understood why they had left the mission field and had heard rumors of an “emotional affair.” I wonder now if that wasn’t just what adults told us to avoid the ugly details.
As I’ve read through the hundreds of posts here, I have first been overwhelmed with grief for the girls, their families, and their extended “ABWE families.” Initially, I must also say that I was angry at my own church, Newhall, for allowing DK to serve in so many capacities over the years. Now, I realize that they didn’t know the truth. And, so now I grieve for those who unknowingly placed him in positions of authority.
When I got to the part about Michelle Fidler, my heart broke. I remember her coming to our house, a broken girl. I couldn’t understand what had destroyed such a beautiful, smart, funny girl. I didn’t know her before she was broken, but others in my household did. There was no doubt that someone had done this to her. I didn’t know then, and I don’t know now. I just pray that God will finally heal her.
It’d really be pointless to put in all the things that have come to mind here….all the anger and sadness and…well…brokenness.
I want the victims to know that I am praying for you, even as my heart continues to break for what you endured, not only at the hands of DK, but also through the conspiracy of silence that followed. My heart has not yet stopped screaming for justice. I hope that it doesn’t.
Almost finally, I feel the obvious should be repeated. 1. Molestation is a prosecutable crime. I don’t know what the statutes of limitations for such a crime is, but it is a crime nonetheless. 2. DK should be reported (if this hasn’t already happened) to the Medical Board in Michigan. Even if he is semi-retired (or if he were completely retired), it is incomprehensible that he should remain a physician in good standing with no blemishes on his record in light of these revelations.
Finally finally, for those of you who have told your stories, either as victims, relatives, or witnesses (unknowing or not), I am amazed and humbled by your courage. I pray that God will give you justice, healing, and every other blessing He chooses to pour out on you.
Actually, as much as I hate to put this thought out there-
Isn’t not reporting a child molester also a criminal offense?
Yes. The law is called “duty to inform”. It has been a law in all states since 1974. Every state has its own amendments to the law and varying statute of limitations on it. Pennsylvania has one of the more recent amendments that has opened the door to lawsuits in clergy abuse cases. There’s a lawsuit going on in Philadelphia right now. Suing church leaders for child endangerment because they covered abuse and did not report it.
Years ago someone told me I have a problem with authority. I took that as a criticism, pointing out sin in my life. Yes, I have a problem with authority. I trust. I obey. I submit. I absorb the words of men as the words of God. Growing up I begin to question and resist. I am then charged with rebellion. I am chastised, cast outside the fold. I am suicidal and I don’t know why.
I still have a problem with authority. I don’t trust. I am skeptical. I am cynical. I am too afraid to join a church group. Yet still, even now I sometimes listen to the words of authority and feel guilt for my sins, my rebellion, my lack of submission, of not being fully involved in the body, fully “serving” as I used to serve.
I have a problem with authority. I trust and I don’t trust. I don’t know how to trust. I don’t know who to trust. Yet still I trust and then find out that those I have still trusted have not deserved the extent of trust I have granted.
I think I have a problem with authority. I have been taught error. My mind needs renewing to what God teaches about authority, about submission, about trust.
And to my fearful questions of if to trust, or who to trust or when to trust, I find these words.
Psalm 25
25:1 To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
2 O my God, in you I trust;
let me not be put to shame;
let not my enemies exult over me.
3 Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;
they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
4 Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
5 Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
6 Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
8 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
9 He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
11 For your name’s sake, O Lord,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
12 Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
13 His soul shall abide in well-being,
and his offspring shall inherit the land.
14 The friendship [2] of the Lord is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
15 My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
18 Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.
19 Consider how many are my foes,
and with what violent hatred they hate me.
20 Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness preserve me,
for I wait for you.
I have also had a problem with authority. Over the years I’ve continually had to remind myself that Jesus is the One to look to as the picture of a true authority figure because men and women fail horribly. No matter what men do, Jesus never fails. And yet while He was on this earth Jesus never held a political office or a position in any religious institution! So here’s what I’ve learned from Jesus about authority: True biblical authority is based not on an office or an educational degree or a political position. True authority is based on one’s proximity to the TRUTH. The closer one is to the truth of the Word of God, the more authority he or she has. Thus it could be said of Jesus that He spoke as one having authority even though He was a poor carpenter’s son. And because He is THE Truth, He has all the authority. So when anyone in spiritual leadership has to assert their position, their power, their degree, or whatever, they are showing that they don’t have true biblical authority. However, when their words and actions are lined up with God’s word, then their authority is from God. Just a few thoughts I wanted to share…
I couldn’t agree with you more Phil. Thank you for your diligence in pursuing the truth and confronting the sin and criminal activity. MK’s are very special to Pam and I as we served in ABWE in Davao City, Philippines from 1981-2003. We will continue to pray and press ABWE for GRACE to be the independent 3rd party. As I stated in an earlier post, I currently work at the Monroe Correctional Complex in Monroe, WA. that houses sex offenders. They are predators and child molesters, as well as, master manipulators.
We have been appalled at not only the cover up but also the extent of the cover up of sin and criminal activity against our precious MK’s. Again, rest assured that you have our love, prayers, and support. You have our email address from the blog, so please do not hesitate to message us regarding requests or how we can help and support all the families involved.
Jim and Pam,
Working with sex offenders (master manipulators) perhaps you can give your perspective on something. When I read the section of the diary that spoke about the behavior of DK during the confrontation, the word “sociopath” jumped out at me. Do you see red flags that suggest sociopath? One thing sure; he is a predator, a master manipulator. Those who feel guilt that they didn’t see can remember this. Master manipulator. Very, very, very, very good at deception. Even easier when a person has no concept that someone could be so heinous.
Sorry it took me a while to respond to your question. I wanted to honor the request not to post on Sunday and I decided to wait until I returned home from work today.
Not all Pedophiles are sociopaths. A sociopath feels no remorse what so ever. It is all about the socio and their gratification regardless of how it affects others. There are some peds who do feel remorse and pain each and every time they violate a child.
Pedophiles work hard at stalking their targets and will patiently work to develop relationships with them. It is not uncommon for them to be developing a long list of potential victims at any one time.
My observations:
• They like what they do.
• They enjoy stalking children.
• They are very deceptive and liars.
• They are very manipulative and improve on that to fool victims, family, friends, employers, etc.
• Take no responsibility for their behavior.
• They learn behaviors to avoid in order not to be detected.
• They use children’s fears…ie “If you tell, you will go to hell, etc.”
• Make the victims feel they are the guilty party. The victim created the problem by being a tempter/temptress. Sometimes it can be just a smile, “If you hadn’t smiled at me like that this would not have happened.
• They look for the ones who are vulnerable, isolated, frightened of things.
• If the child doesn’t have positive interaction with other adults they will prey on the.
• They will groom the child with quality time, video games, parties, candy, toys, gifts, money. (motorcycle rides)
• They will groom the child. With quality time, video games, parties, candy, toys, gifts, money.
• Once a child has been victimized, it is quite possible they will be victimized again and maybe not by the same pedophile.
The Target Child:
The pedophile often seeks out shy, handicapped, and withdrawn children, or those who come from troubled homes or under privileged homes. He then showers them with attention, gifts, taunting them with trips to desirable places like amusement parks, zoo’s, concerts, the beach and other such places.
Manipulation of the Innocent:
Pedophiles work to master their manipulative skills and often unleash them on troubled children by first becoming their friend, building the the child’s self esteem. They may refer to the child as special or mature, appealing to their need to be heard and understood then entice them with adult type activities that are often sexual in content such as x-rated movies or pictures. They offer them alcohol or drugs to hamper their ability to resist activities or recall events that occurred.
Stockholm Syndrome :
It is not unusual for the child to develop feelings for the predator and desire their approval and continued acceptance. They will compromise their innate ability to decipher good and bad behavior, ultimately justifying the criminal’s bad behavior out of sympathy and concern for the adults welfare. This is often compared to Stockholm Syndrome – when victims become attached emotionally to their captors.
I have much more information. If you would like more, please feel free to email me. I give permission to the blog owners to release my email if they sense it will be a help to those hurting, wounded, victims, victims families, missionaries, and MK’s.
I will also continue to press ABWE to use G.R.A.C.E. as the 3rd party investigator.
I think at least 1 other person posted what I was thinking.
We’ve done the LORD wrong all this time by building mission agencies, while we thought we were more effectively reaching the world.
I worked for one of these parachurch agencies for quite a while; let me tell you, they are “untouchables”. No matter what churches, pastors, missionary candidates, and Christians think, the mission agency is “in control” and they “have the $”. I recall 1 early post mentioning this as well – you work for the agency not the church that sent you that should have the power. Your pay is tied to making the missionary exec director happy. If you happen to step on toes discovering things, they will make you pay and you won’t find more mission work, you become blackballed. The agency directors usually sit around and bad mouth the churches and pastors and mislead them as to their true revenue & support levels and what is happening with all the funds. They do all they can to avoid accountability to the churches. They put everything they can under program or missions support and many stateside make huge salaries when you count all the benefits they get in housing or rents, cars, and almost every bite of food all year paid for as “ministry”. Past education covered under outfit and passage. Tons of money used for advocacy or programs but it doesn’t hit true field work like you think.
It is rarely the field missionaries “making it great”, but the corporate agency/HQ.
And while they do all this, they are covering up grievous sins like this; woe to them – better a millstone were hung around their neck and thrown in the river than to have caused these little ones to stumble or to be like the Catholic church and cover and continue to cover.
It is time to pull out of all agencies and go back to the local church sending missionaries and holding them accountable and we’ll see very little of this being possible, and those who caused it can’t merely go to another agency (as DK has done) or practice, etc.
An attack on the appropriateness of “parachurch agencies” seems well beyond the scope of this blog. It also seems unlikely to assist these hurting women and their families in their quest for justice and reconciliation from ABWE, and overdue compassion and prayer support from pastors, missionaries, and a wide spectrum of interested readers.
I respectfully point out the numerous sweeping generalizations in your post. Do you really have first hand experience of all or even most agencies and what their administrators are doing and thinking? If not, could your comments be considered high-handed and unjust? That is what ABWE stands accused of, is it not?
It is regrettable that some churches today have given over responsibility for their missionaries to the agency, and that should be corrected. Perhaps that was part of the problem in BD and with the “Answers to Common Questions” memo written just days ago. But if you had broader facts you would probably conclude that missionaries going out under one or more churches without agency affiliation face challenges that agency workers do not. My own experience is that some independent missionaries have lacked meaningful evaluation and structural accountability from knowledgeable peers and more senior missionaries.
Consider how accurate Bible translation in 2,000 languages would progress without an agency to develop translation philosophy, tools, and a complex network of relationships to print and distribute a new Bible translation (e.g., Wycliff). Try forming a missionary aviation ministry with pilots, mechanics, and support staff with no specialized agency to handle funds, own planes, and coordinate efforts (e.g., MAF). Should orphanages, medical clinics, Christian Schools, Bible institutes, seminaries, publishing houses, and radio ministries everywhere in the world be run by independent workers with no formal organizational affiliation outside their home church?
Application of Christian principles to all aspects of an organization is the key, and this is what it appears the moderators of this blog are striving to bring about within ABWE.
From a daily meditation that I subscribe to, just wanted to share this beautiful thought…
When we go into the Presence [of God], we find someone not against us, but someone who is definitely for us! The saints report, “Someone else is holding me.” “Someone is believing in me.” That’s what people who pray always say. “Someone is for me more than I am for myself.” “Someone is with me more than I am with myself.” Meister Eckhart, the medieval Dominican mystic said, “God is closer to me than I am to myself.”
Thank you again for posts from Cindy Adolph Smith, Alice Payne and Ruth Sheets- We appreciate your prayers and concerns. As you noted above, Diane Eleveld is also trying to contact our daughter. Pastor Mike and Diane were so respected by our kids that perhaps she will respond to them. Darlene
I had the opportunity to serve at Malumghat in1974 as a student, and in 1983-84 as a general surgeon (with family in tow). My wife, Diane, was also at Malumghat for 8 months in 1972. Donn was present only for a few months during my second time at Malumghat. I know or know of many of the people posting here. For full disclosure: Donn performed our wedding ceremony in 1975.
I first remember learning of this “issue” some months after the 1989 revelation. I learned of it 3rd hand, but had no reason to doubt the veracity of it. I had absolutely no idea of any of these “issues” prior to this. Other than being a supporter I had no formal association with ABWE since 1984. I had no reason to believe that the “issue” hadn’t been properly dealt with. I have since learned otherwise.
A few comments and opinions for what they are worth:
1. Joe DeCook asked for other physician’s input. I agree with his take on the physical exams. The kindest description would be BIZARRE. More accurate would be inappropriate or abusive.
2. It was inappropriate for two men to travel to BD with the 14-year old victim. After 20 years of suspicions, etc. waiting a few days to arrange for an adult female traveling companion would have been advisable.
3. It was totally inappropriate to shut the victim’s parents out.
4. Where were the other adult missionaries from 1965 to 1989? These people were highly trained and famously independent. (This is not to exonerate ABWE HQ) They expected local believers to be “true unto death,” but they were afraid to speak up? They would not have been killed or even sent to a work camp, had they protested enough to stop the abuse. The missionaries were fully capable of exacting what seemed to be harsh discipline on national employees for minor infractions, but could not deal with gross sin from one of their own! Since 1989, I have wondered if the reason that some missionaries left “the field” was because of this abuse or the lack of appropriate response from ABWE HQ.
5. What became of the, presumably consenting, adult women partners? Did none of them feel guilty and then report the issue to ABWE HQ, or did they report and were then ignored?
6. Having seen the ABWE HQ on the “Mountain,” I can easily believe Phil Walsh’s description of his visit with Dr. Loftis. It seems to me that a leader who justifies a headquarters as ornate as ABWE’s seems to be justifying his position as one worthy of adulation. To me the “Mountain” is, at best, poor stewardship of scarce resources, regardless of how it came about. At worst, it is a violation of the principle of the 3 G’s. (I don’t know the origin of this formulation, but I first heard it as attributed to the Chinese Church). The advice is to pastors; “Don’t touch the girls, don’t touch the gold, and don’t touch the Glory.” Whether they know it or not, by maintaining a truly palatial HQ, ABWE is giving the impression that they deserve the sumptuous HQ, because of their exalted worth. Thus they are seen as touching (grasping at) the Glory that is GOD’s alone. A fully functional mission HQ doesn’t need 700 acres of land and an ornate building on top of a mountain.
One might ask; “What does this have to do with the problem at hand?” To me it is pertinent because it suggests an attitude of: “We are special; we are above mere mortals and the usual rules don’t apply to us.” “Don’t ask questions, just follow instructions.”
God’s Glory is not at risk, ABWE’s reputation is.
7. In my reading even the recent responses from ABWE, it seems clear that they have only dribbled out responses as their feet were held closer and closer to the fire. The posted e-mails from Don Davis date to 2009. (Other documents were earlier, but these dates seem more pertinent as to why now?). The organization has had a long time to respond appropriately and has not. Anything now is forced.
8. This is just one of many fields. Are there problems elsewhere that are being hidden? Without an independent third party investigation there will not be a credible answer. Perhaps the way to begin a third party investigation would be for Dr. Loftis to submit a resignation letter that will be accepted or rejected on the basis of the final report of the third party.
9. One of the more recent times I have seen Donn Ketcham he was representing Partners in Compassionate Care at a 2005 national medical mission’s conference. I don’t know if he still has any connection with the organization.
We have been praying for BD for many decades and now have added hurting MK families to the prayer list.
Stephen A. Morris, MD (and Diane Morris, RN)
In Response to Steve Morris,
I will leave it up to the adults out there at the time to answer this more fully(Please come on the blog and speak up for your self defense!) but my understanding is that the adults did speak up to HQ’s on several different occasions, but were basically ignored or Dr. Ketcham “confessed” to be a changed man and they would give him a second or third chance.
Susannah
Brother Jess Eaton,
I have hurt you and your family by lashing out in frustration, hurt, and anger publicly on the blog. That was not the venue nor the spirit in which a follower of Christ should express an offense. I was in violation of scripture. Your sweet girls, Julie & Joanie, have urged me to look into my story and challenged me to get the big picture. They were right. There are always two sides and two perspectives. I was wrong for making a public accusation before confirming the facts. I humbly, sincerely ask you to please find forgiveness in your heart for me. I sinned against you, your daughters, and your sweet wife. I not only ask you but also your family for their forgiveness, too.
Diana Durrill
(From e-mail sent to Mrs. Diana Durrill by Jesse Eaton at 1:18 p.m., Sunday, April 3, 2011 . . . in response to her e-mail of
1:53 p.m., Saturday, April 2, 2011 — within the first hour on Sunday after church service upon seeing the entry on the blog site.)
Dear Sister Diana:
I am truly touched by the sincerity and humility of your response. YES, I FREELY FORGIVE YOU, MY SISTER. As we used to sing with our children whenever they had to settle disputes and arguments among themselves: “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4 and 32”, I am opening my heart to you and receiving your genuine words as from a tender heart and mind. Praise the Lord, my sister.
I thank God for your letter, Diana. I have shown it to my wife, Joyce and to our daughter, Julie, who attends the same church we do. [You’ll remember that I was trying to reach our daughter over in the M.E. for her approval as well. But, after trying for over 30 minutes, we chose to send my response without her approval. Then, within the next hour Joanie called us back and approved the wording and tone of my response.]
Thus, with the full approval of my wife and daughter, Julie, I gave you permission to post your proposed blog entry just as it appears above. Joanie approved it after I responded back and was fully supportive.
Diana, please forward my response on to your sister, Anne and to your parents, our friends of the past — for their knowledge and hoped for encouragement.
God bless you and your husband, Michael and your family.
Your brother in Christ,
Jess
Jesse G. Eaton
In Response to Dr. Morris,
#4. “some missionaries left the field”…The ongoing revelations about what has taken place in BD have been heart-breaking. It is important to note that there are other fields in the Far East and beyond where things have happened and many who loved their ministries left the field. When questions were asked about why people left the answer was, “stop asking questions.” The events in BD as well as other situations can only lead one to believe that there has been a culture of corruption that has existed for so long it led some to believe it was normal behavior. There is no way the old ABWE can survive.
It is interesting that in Brasil a parent cannot depart with his own biological daughter without written permission from the spouse. More than one has been refused boarding even with ticket in hand. But then some think that I was a missionary to a third world country … maybe not.
RHSterkenburg
Diana, Thank you, thank you. Your humble response is very precious. I haven’t gotten on here because I’m one of the “ungoogleables”. Please know I have shed many tears in the last few weeks as I’ve been reading. Oh, Shelly, little sweet Shelly Fidler, where are you? My dear childhood friends, I love you all and am humbly asking God to get the glory in this tradgedy. To every named and unnamed victim, may a new name, a new identity be ours through the resurrecting power of our Matchless Saviour. There have been so many important truths shared , I’m proud to have lived among you. and have been one of you. Dr. Morris, some very sobering thoughts, the examining is just beginning. The beginning chapters of Isaiah made me weep this morning. I believe if we were all in the same place again the crying would be so loud God would have to hear and reason with us. To my”Aunts” and “Uncles”, again , we are learning better how to follow from your examples, thank you.
I have been following this blog and posting when appropriate under my real name. This time I need to ask a question. After watching the bolg entries, reading carefully and searching my memory, I have not read nor do I have any recollection of anything happening between DK and young boys. As a loving, concerned mother I need to ask all of you if you were ever aware of this being a part of the problem. Thank you.
G.R.A.C.E. is the organization all victims and their families TRUST to do a Third Party Investigation of ABWE. Any other organization will be unacceptable.
http://www.netgrace.org/
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
In reply to Mike Durrill: I second the motion! Let me repeat. G.R.A.C.E is the ONLY organization that ALL victims agree on and trust to do a third party investigation. Trust is HUGE for us for obvious reasons. We have spent days and hundreds of our own dollars getting to know them and have researched their handling of the New Tribes investigation. New Tribes was actually the opposite situation than this. New Tribes went to GRACE to conduct the investigation and it was the mks who had to be convinced to trust GRACE but in the end felt all parties were treated equally. ABWE, you say you want to hear our voices. We want to believe you. Please listen to us. This is our united voice.
Would this investigation be limited to Bangladesh? I was told other victim-reported incidents in other countries that were never dealt with. Perhaps there is a concern on the part of the men on the mountain that G.R.A.C.E. would open up a whole new can of worms
I agree that G.R.A.C.E. is the obvious choice. This is due to trust mostly. I wonder though, would one of you be willing to explain further why it is a good choice? Not to me, but to the ABWE board. Again, I agree it is the right choice because I have read the report, I am impressed with the thoroughness, with the experience, understanding, and Biblical background to their findings. But, I am not qualified to speak for the BD MK’s. Only BD MK’s are qualified to speak for themselves on this matter.
I have written ABWE again today requesting they submit to this investigation. Perhaps it would help that the board (that meets today) see specific reasons.
In a court hearing in general, the attorneys make their case, not with just one argument, but many many arguments in order to convince the jury to give them what they want. I want you (BD MK’s) to get want you want (NEED) so providing many reasons for GRACE may help.
Of course, many of you may have already done this in your letters/emails to the board.
I assure you am praying today as the board decides on using GRACE for the third party investigation.
(I hope I chose my words carefully enough… if BD MK’s are offended by this post, then I didn’t choose my words carefully enough – I AM rooting for you all)
Thank you for your support by writing to ABWE and letting them know. That encourages each and every one of us who are BD MK’s! Thank you!
Thank you, Agree, for your support and action! Yes, we have all written to the board to tell them why GRACE is our choice. It is extremely important that someone the MKs and our families trust does the investigation. Too many years of coverups and secrets. And they have an excellent reputation- – even recommended by another MK advocacy group somewhere on this blog!(one of the other sections)
You have humbled me and taught me many things in this blog. My own experiences with ABWE are so fresh and hurtful that I have struggled to forgive the lies, deceit and “silence mandates” that cost me a ministry I have loved for more than 14 years. I could relate so well to Phil Walsh’s experiences and felt as if he was describing our own experiences to a tee. His dealings were with the same men we had to deal with and the meetings went the same way. Some of our supporting pastors met with the current ABWE leadership (on our behalf) and tried to hold ABWE accountable for several indescretions and lies.
In our case, we accidentally (or providentially) came across information that proved without any doubt that what the administration was telling us and our supporting pastors was absolutely false in every way. When this truth came out, rather than get an apology or “confession” (to use the term they love so much), they attacked (in print) our ethics, our character, and our crediblity, and then threatened us with legalese to keep us quiet. They “spun” the truth so much that it would have been laughable had it not been so sad.
I write all this to say that I have struggled these past two years to forgive them. The only admission of wrong they ever admitted to was a one-line statement saying, “there was a problem with the left hand knowing what the right hand was doing,” and asked our forgiveness. That one line statement came as part of a four page letter from the president scolding us for questioning them, criticizing our spirit, scolding us for involving our home and sending pastor in our attempt to resolve things, and dismissing all the accusations by other supporting pastors who had first notified us of their concerns. That “admission of wrong” on their part ONLY came after nearly a year of interaction and denials on their part. And suddenly, we had PROOF that was undeniable. Then, they admitted the very least that they possibly could. Needless to say, their “apology” letter was met by us with skepticism.
Now I read the incredibly gracious way in which victims have applauded their apology letter for all the wrongs committed. I am stunned by your grace. You have handled yourself with such dignity and humility that I am overwhelmed. You have been wronged again and again, and again. Even the apology wronged you because it only came after you had their backs to the cliff. It, by its timing, is simply a reaction and causes one to question its motive. And yet, you accepted it with praise and graciousness. Diana, Tamara, Susannah, Phil, and others, I don’t know any of you, but I admire you for modeling biblical methods of accountability with grace and humility. I have learned much by reading through the posts. You have had many, many opportunities, I am sure, to bash both individuals and the entire mission at whose hands you have all suffered so much. And yet you have consistently kept the main thing the main thing – a fight for truth and justice so that true healing within the Body of Christ can take place.
You have not only acknowledged that this has been a painful process for you, but you have let us see and feel your pain. I can’t imagine. We understand a tiny window of what the “aunts” and “uncles” went through because in our situation (which pales in comparison) we were not only told to keep silent, we were told (in writing) what we could and couldn’t say. We were basically told to lie to our supporting pastors when we told them why we had to switch mission boards. We were told to tell them it had nothing to do with ABWE. We chose not to heed that advice and instead followed the authority of our home and sending pastor. I’m so glad that we chose truth. The truth truly does set you free.
To those of you fighting this battle, do not be weary in well-doing. The testimonies of your life through this blog are changing lives for God’s glory. My own heart is being healed of bitterness that I had allowed to creep in. God is being honored by your actions and attitudes in your biblical quest to follow steps to hold your Chrisitan brothers and sisters accountable.
We do not know any of you personally, but we have upheld you in prayer nearly everyday since coming across this blog. You are doing the right thing. God is working, and HE is getting glory even through all the horror and pain.
Keep on keeping on.
Thank you so much. I needed that today.
Susannah Baker
Our own experience with ABWE mirrors all of this in so many ways. Unfortunately, proper personnel management is a skill set, which the ABWE “leadership” sorely lacks.
I am deeply sorry for all the pain, humiliation, and ministry loss that has occurred “in the name of Christ” at the hands of this mission board. You brave women have brought light to darkness and truth to falsehood. And others who have suffered at the hands of the ABWE administration take heart in knowing that God is sovereign, and ultimately our character and integrity will be upheld, as yours is currently being demonstrated. Stay strong, hold your ground, and we will pray that you will know the solace of God’s continued grace.
Robert K. Rapa, Th.D.
Pastor, Indian River Baptist Church
Indian River, MI
(IRBC currently supports 4 ABWE missionary couples)
Add another to the sadly wrung through the wringer by missions agencies and told what to say & not to say to protect the work. We are so glad you were able to not yield and allow the sending pastor’s authority to override the usurping.
We are very glad to hear GRACE has been chosen in order to help these precious ladies see justice after all these years. We wish the church, the agency, the people and more had been able to hear your cries earlier.
To Dr. Steve Morris: Hi Steve, thanks for your input. In answer to your question #4: Where were the other adult missionaries from 1965 to 1989. From 1971 to 79 we were there. All the missionaries (probably including you and Diane in 1972) were concerned about DK’s inappropriate familiarity with many of the single adult females (including some teens) that were on the compound. All this has been mentioned in previous posts. He was counseled by one of our station council members that this was not acceptable. Things did not improve. When he went home after his heart attack, the Malumghat station council clearly directed the ABWE Board that this man could not return to the field unless this problem was addressed with formal counseling. It apparently was, and on his return to the field, things improved —but only for a few months. There was a continual problem of things like riding nurses around on the back of his motorecycle, inappropriate jokes, continual over-familiarity, –things that we knew the Bengalis were also observing. It was a lousy testimony. The single full time ladies told my wife, “the first thing we have to advise incoming single women is to be careful of DK.” Unfortunately, not all of them paid heed. DK was in charge of physical exams on the teens going to school. We were all extremely busy (as you and Diane will remember), so, since no one complained (that I remember) at the time, this was no issue. Outside of the physical exams (usually-we thought- with a nurse or mother present), we were not aware of any illicit physical contact between DK and women patients or nurses. Were we naive? Extremely busy? Pressured to the limit trying to maintain unity in a hostile Muslim environment? Not suspicious enough? Not confrontive enough? Maybe all of the above. Hope this helps with question #4. Joe
Dear Susannah and all the other victims who have contributed to this blog,
Thank you for being so brave. For stepping forward and bringing the truth into the light. Thank you for not continuing in silence so that this man can be stopped, his victims can find healing, and ultimately so that the TRUTH may be revealed. In doing so you have been like Jesus, shining your light of TRUTH into a world of dark secrets. Thank you.
My husband and I have been following this blog very closely since shortly after it was begun. We have been horrified, shocked, hurt, and felt betrayed by what we’ve read here. (I know that is just a drop in the bucket to what you, the victims, and your families have felt. I can not even imagine that.) You see, my husband works in the home office of ABWE in PA. He works downstairs under where so many of these secrets have been discussed and kept. We came to ABWE with high hopes and feelings of a dream coming true in June of 2002. We attended the ME Conference in July of 2002 in order to get a better feel of ABWE. and the role that we’d have in serving ABWE’s missionaries. We left feeling excited about our future in ABWE’s home office. Little did we know that a long kept secret of a horrible sin and it’s effects had been revealed or that it would be kept a secret.
In the nine years since, we’ve had our disappointments with ABWE. But, reality is never as good as the dream, is it? Ben has thoroughly enjoyed helping missionaries with their media needs. He loved every minute of teaching missionaries graphic design, photoshop, and PowerPoint. He was thoroughly crushed two years ago when due to an extreme financial crisis his entire team was laid off, leaving him alone. He was just getting into a rhythm as a part of ABWE’s new Communications Department when we heard about this blog and the truths that were coming to light.
He had NO part in any of the previous correspondence from ABWE-just had to make that known. He also had NO idea about what Donn Ketchum had done nor the double cover-up of his sins. It is my personal opinion that very, very few people in the home office knew anything about this.
I also wanted to make it known that the majority of the people in the home office are there with your best interests in mind. They are there to serve you, the missionary, and your family. They don’t make a lot of money. (I promise…we have four kids and I feel like we are scraping by some days, but God always provides.)
Part of what has made this so devastating is that while we do desire to serve you, to do our best by you, to help you in every way that we can…it is obvious that ABWE has not protected you. You, missionaries and MK’s, who have gone way out of your comfort zone, put your lives on the line…you haven’t been protected. You live in nations with laughable judicial systems. If a wrong, even by another American, is done against you, you have given away your rights to American justice because you live on foreign soil. It seems only right to me that your home office should do everything within its power to seek justice for you. To right your wrongs. To go beyond expectations with regard to your protection and safety. And in this case they SO badly failed. They failed through the 60s, 70s, 80s, in 1989 they grossly failed, in 2002 the new administration grossly failed you and they continued to fail you as you reminded them of the crimes committed against you. I’m SO angry that that happened to you.
I’m also deeply concerned that it appears that there is a pattern that has developed over the years. A pattern of not listening to missionaries concerns. A pattern of dismissing some sins, but not giving grace to others who have freely repented and turned from their sins. I can’t reconcile that in my mind. I can’t abide by that. That’s just NOT who God is…God gives grace to all, but he also loves and requires justice.
I fully agree that a third party needs to thoroughly investigate. I also implore the administration and board to allow GRACE to do that investigation. We can not trust you. You have let us down in so many ways. We can forgive. God can help us do that, but right now we can not trust you. Trust will take a LONG time to restore.
Again, thank you for your bravery. Thank you for bringing light. You are the “Erin Brokoviches” of ABWE. Keep fighting.
Faith Barrett
“We cannot allow ourselves not to feel the pain of others,” Elie Wiesel said. “We can’t give in to indifference.” (Holocaust Survivor and 1986 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient,
Dec. 1, 2010 St. Louis University, St. Louis, MO)
HOW TO BEAR BURDENS:
B- Be aware of the people God places in your path everyday.
E- Examine and evaluate how you can help.
A- Adapt and adjust your resources to help.
R- Respond and react. Do something about what you have spent time and energy on. Go and do it. (Source unknown)
Jia you! (Chinese for “keep on keeping on” – literally “add oil”)
Wanting to help bear your burden and fervently praying Romans 8:28,
Aunt Diane
Attention: ABWE Bangladesh girl MKs-full term, short term etc. I would like to get a master list for contacting you with updates of a more personal nature. Others of you reading this, if you know of any girls that could have ever been examined by Dr Ketcham in Bangladesh, please contact me through the blog moderators. Feel free to ask questions of me by email or blog before sending info!
II Timothy 2:22 “Pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord”
James 4:7-8 “Therefore submit to God…draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
Dear ABWE Board, ABWE Leadership Team, and our dear Bangladesh family,
I watched, helped, cried with, and prayed with and for our dear friends who bore the brunt of what occurred after I first became aware of just how horribly this was being handled in 1989. As a short-term team member in Bangladesh and a part of the Bangladesh family, I continue to weep and pray for all of the victims and families impacted by all that occurred over these past many years. Many are the very MK’s we loved and to whom God sent our family to minister. I can only beg for forgiveness from God and our dear friends for not loudly taking up your defense with every breath I have. All that we did in 1989 and since seems so small in light of all that we know now. .It was clear early in the life of this MK initiated blog that no rational, loving follower of Christ could possibly escape the conclusion that ABWE must submit to a thorough investigation of each and every allegation made both within and outside of this blog. This action is, at a minimum, 22 years late and arguably much more than that. If ABWE wants to have any credibility, any voice, or perhaps even a future ministry, this must be initiated immediately and be done by an outside organization! Since GRACE enjoys the trust of those who have been so wronged by what has happened, I can’t imagine a reason compelling enough not to use them. Why so many individuals have been ignored or worse by ABWE is beyond understanding even if they were simply “good, well meaning” people, let alone dedicated Christ followers and fellow ABWE Team Members. Why the most recent first response by ABWE to this blog and the information brought to light was a generic, cold, version of “it’s not our fault” and “we’ve done everything we could have” further supports the call for and need of GRACE to take over this investigation with the full cooperation of ABWE. The posted confession of March 31, for which we were so thankful, rings hollow indeed without it. I beg you to please do what is right this time and do so before any more lives are ruined, reputations are soiled, and God’s name is further damaged in the eyes of the world by your actions or lack thereof.
Uncle Steve
TO THE MODERATORS: I POSTED THIS ON THE SITE REGARDING RUSS LLOYDS DIARY, BUT I LEAVE IT TO YOU TO DETERMINE WHERE IT SHOULD GO. HEY, EVEN IN THE ROUND FILE, IF YOU THINK.
Okay, this one may hurt a bit more, since it’s very likely these are people I know, and people I like. But it seems as if we must go there.
The journal entries of Mr Lloyd (and I hesitate to use the word “dr.” in front of his name, as his professional credibility seems ever more doubtful) offer disturbing insights into the thought processes of Messrs. Russ as they “handled” this crisis. The appropriateness of the rapid response to Indiana, the “snatch” of a 14 yr old (and it really can be called nothing other than a snatch), the whisking her off to Bangladesh to confront a middle-aged pedophile with his crimes, the lack of surrounding her with anybody she knew and was comfortable with (let alone female), the shielding of her from her proper parental support and protection–all of this can and should be beat on like a filthy rug, for it is all so very wrong.
The entries regarding the interviews with Donn are perhaps most illuminating, for in retrospect is has the clear hallmarks of an orchestrated performance. Confessions too easily brought forth, token tears, jokes and banter, all these suggest a carefully planned soliloquy of a trained actor. Perhaps he’d spent months, even years, anticipating just this moment. And to their credit, the Messrs. Russ seemed to catch (at least a little), that they were being led, not leading.
Which makes the “final” performance (which is not in journal entries, but can be gathered from other contributions of those who were there) the more stunning. Evidently, the responsible adults of MCH were gathered into SGR1 and told something (and I would hope that that “something” was something like the truth), and then told that no one would talk about it, that it was now being “handled” by appropriate authorities. And the evident way in which it was “handled” was to now whisk Donn out of BD under the cover of “sexual improprieties”, and leave the shame draped silently around the neck of a child. They were told to drink the Koolaid by those in authority, and apparently they all did.
I hope you can hear a pin drop, when you stop and think about that. Did no one not think that this was wrong? That even if it seemed perhaps barely an appropriate way to handle things given the awful immediate shock of the revelations, did it, could it, not have seemed wrong with just a few days (or even a few hours) reflections? Were there not fathers of daughters in attendance that day? Are there not fathers of daughters out here who are screaming “Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!”? Does not God put within every one of us a moral compass, one that must have been spinning madly in all directions at that point? What was the lodestone? Did Satan so lower his hands over the Malumghat campus that all light was blotted out, when this decision was arrived at?
And if the ABWE policy on authority was such that no one felt free to stand up and express revulsion and distate for this “plan” as it was carried out, then this is a culture that needs dismantling. We do all operate under “command;” we are all expected to follow and do things we are told to do, even when we do not always understand everything we would like to understand about an issue. We do it in an atmosphere of trust, hoping that the authority over us is truly representing God and His will.
But God never calls us to abandon our brain, our heart, our convictions of His truth. This is the gift of all of us being priests within His kingdom. I am sure there were many more hearts ripped open by this than just Aunt Jeanie, who so honestly expressed her desire that she would have spoken out at that meeting. Abusing Scripture, covering this by an admonition “not to be a gossp,” reminds one of other great social crimes covered by an excerpted verse or two. As Steve Kelley wrote, I clap my hand over my mouth in shock, over how this went down.
There is broad and deep repentance called for here.
And as a side note, I think this was mostly done to prevent the Bengalis from finding out “what really went on;” that it would “damage the ministry.” Which I find incredibly naive. They knew when we blew our noses, they knew when we cheated at Clue or Monopoly, they knew what we did in our schools, and in our houses, and in our private moments. The bamboo telegraph is extremely effective, and the observational skills of household help extraordinary. I’m sure they were well aware of Donn and his proclivities long before it came out publicly to his colleagues.
And I’m sure they are well aware of how it was covered. Here we were trying to teach (and live) Scripture and model Jesus, and the lesson some may most remember is how to cover sin. It is more than sad.
“He looked for justice, but saw only bloodshed;
for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.”
“I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall,
and stand before me in the gap,
on behalf of the land…..”
In reply to Dr. Dan Decook: I know I say this a lot but your post brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. Thank you so much for so eloquently putting my feelings about this into words and being brave enough to speak the truth. Thank you, Dan.
Susannah (Susie Beals) Baker
I second Susannah’s response. Dan – you have done it again…and we thank you!
thank you, suse. It seems like such a small contribution to what is such a large issue (and very personal hurt) to so many, so those are kind words indeed. As a kind of mouthy laddie growing up, I would more likely have been labeled “most likely to blurt out something unfortunate (without thinking it thru first)”, so I am trying to be thoughtful and think before I speak. Yet, as you’ve noted, speaking is such an important thing–something about the triumph of evil when good men do nothing, extended to include saying nothing.
My wife has been kidding me that I’ve been obsessing with this blog, and shouldn’t stay up so late some nites. So I try not to….but then every couple of days some new point of the long struggle surfaces and begs to be addressed, and well….
All I can say Dr Dan DeCook is – Well said! If I could add anything to what you said I would, but you have summed it up very, very well.
Thank you!
A current ABWE Missionary but for how long? We really need to hear something very soon!
I agree! Thanks again Dan!
re: Tamara’s quote “Nothing being said on this blog is news to the Bengalis around the missionaries–who as one wisely pointed out, probably noticed every time we blew our noses (with a kleenex!).” (April 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm)
…what a good analogy…. We save our snot and hide it by wrapping it up neatly and throwing it away so it doesn’t have to been seen by, or touch, anyone else. Sounds like another scenario I know… hmmmmm
Dan, both in this post and in your other post (letter to ABWE posted on April 4th on the ABWE Confession and GRACE page) have been dead on. You said exactly what we have been thinking and trying to put into words. Thank you!
I was reading this again that ABWE put on their site:
Additionally, when we were informed Dr. Ketcham had moved membership from one church to another, ABWE personnel alerted the receiving pastor of the reason for Dr. Ketcham’s termination, so the church leadership could take appropriate action under their policies to protect children.
Is this true? I think I have seen at least one of these pastors on here and he says they were NOT told anything of the real reason by ABWE. Am I remembering correctly?
To the ABWE Board and Administration:
I am sure that many others like myself are wondering what the ABWE administration is doing about the BD situation. The silence is deafening. We keep hearing the request for ABWE to open up a third-party investigation with G.R.A.C.E., but there seems to be no response. I am sure that much prayer is being made in the Home Office, but even then, some of your workers are questioning the seeming inactivity of their leaders.
The “Confession” alone will not satisfy the needs. Organizations cannot “confess” and have their problems go away. Corrections and sometimes discipline must take place. Pastors, donors, and even ABWE missionaries are waiting for their leaders to act in the best interests of their organization and with compassion toward the hurting individuals and families.
This silence may be interpreted in many ways: (1) a paralysis of leadership, (2) obstinacy, (3) confusion, (4) lack of sensitivity to the cries of the offended, (5) failure to accept the ultimatum of supporters, (6) unwillingness to exercise discipline and request the resignation of the chief offenders, (7) breakdown of communication with constituents, and (8) determination to outlast the complaints. Any of these would be wrong.
I am sure that our leaders believe they are doing the right thing, but the silence must come to an end. Leaders must lead, or they will lose the respect of their followers. I am praying that the silence will be filled with sound, wise, and spiritual decision-making that will honor the great God we serve, meet the needs of those who have suffered for so long, and make on-course corrections that will heal the broken reputation of ABWE. How this is being handled is being watched by friends and enemies alike across the world and within our own family. Selah.
My guess would be #1, #5, and #7.
I first learned of this when WOOD TV 8 aired their report on March 23rd. It has occurred to me that not every former BD missionary/MK lives in the Grand Rapids, MI area to have heard the report.
I do not mean this in an unChristian way- How will the former missionaries/MK’s who may be living across the US form California to Maine know about this website? In my mind there are only 2 ways,: someone contacted them to specifically let them know, or they accidentally found it.
Therefore, has anyone considered contacting one of the national news networks? I think both CNN and Fox have worldwide networks. If this was reported by them, maybe some other victims would become aware of this site and could report their experiences. I’m sure the originators of this blog would not want to unintentionally deny a victim their voice.
Also if one of the National networks reported it, that my spur ABWE to do more on this, and the Michigan Medical Board to investigate. Just my thoughts.
May God continue to bless and heal you.
I am fully disappointed that we are on day 6 after reading the confession of ABWE and we have heard NOTHING. The confession’s words ring hollow now. Empty. Vain. What were once tears of joy are quickly becoming more tears of hurt. You prove, again, to be insincere in your attempts to make this right.
I understand that it takes time for the board to convene. I understand that you live all over and had to gather. I do not understand the length of time it takes to discuss, though. It seems that there is only one obvious path to take:
Prove to the world, but most importantly to your missionaries and their kids (us MK’s) that you truly DO care and are listening by asking G.R.A.C.E. to do the 3rd party investigation.
We understand why the ABWE administration is dragging their feet and, most likely, are filling your ears with explanation after explanation after explanation. But YOUR delay is something we do not understand. To be honest, it brings your character into question. An organization that wants to have righteousness fill their halls (note: I did NOT say “self-righteousness”) would quickly come to the conclusion that ALL sin needs to be exposed no matter what the cost. You, the board members, should say, “We have nothing to hide. We are interested in exposing those who do. The work of the gospel must go forth unhindered and if that means an investigation leads to cleaning house, that is what it means.” Unfortunately, your character comes into serious question when it takes so very long to simply stand up and say, “We will do what is right, no matter the cost.”
In this day of smart phones, internet, Skype, conference calls, etc., it is not fathomable that you have been unable to reach a simple conclusion sooner. It discourages us that you are taking this long. It seems the decision is an easy one to make. One word: G.R.A.C.E.
I respectfully but impatiently ask the board to let us hear from you TODAY…April 5, 2011.
Folks, here we sit again in silence like our family has sat for the last 22 years. ABWE is playing their games again! Please keep flooding them with e-mails over and over again! You may be thinking “I already sent one” Send another! Keep them busy! They need to hear us!
Another big thank you for all the MK’s that our doing what they can to help this blog become the victims voices! Remember when we stop we don’t allow the victims to heal!
WE NEED A THIRD PARTY INVESTIGATION!. For all those who think that it will not happen GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS! I know it will! Where is our faith!
Sister of 14 yr old
“The PATIENT”
There was once a PATIENT who heeded the recommended preventive measures. Being very wise and knowledgeable he regularly consulted with the Great Physician. The prognosis was for a long and successful life in all his endeavors.
Then one day the PATIENT was diagnosed with cancer. Laboratory results indicated that it was benign. The PATIENT being very wise and knowledgeable decided that little needed to be done. The Great Physician was available with an open-door policy, but was not contacted.
It was not long before the PATIENT noticed that other symptoms were present. Further lab results indicated that the cancer had spread. While it was undoubtedly serious it seemed to be locally contained. Being very wise and knowledgeable it was decided to forego surgery and to apply external cures. Again, the Great Physician was not consulted.
The years went by with indications of potential problems, but the PATIENT being very wise and knowledgeable ignored them as nothing serious. It seemed highly unlikely that the dreaded disease could be anything more than a false alarm. The Great Physician desired to remove the cancer, but His certain cure was not sought.
In time a number of troubling reminders forced the PATIENT to face the hard reality. To do nothing more would most likely become ugly. Being very wise and knowledgeable there surely must be an overlooked solution. Undergoing radical surgery still seemed unnecessary even with the complete guarantee from the Great Physician.
What to do asks the PATIENT? The cancer has spread so that it would require drastic measures to remove. It seemed that being very wise and knowledgeable would have prevented things from advancing so. Now the Great Physician warns that the cure will drastically change appearances, but still promises to restore health.
The PATIENT, now doubting his wisdom and knowledge thinks long and hard about what to do. What other options are out there? What should one do? The Great Physician implores him not to wait as much worse does await.
I want to state publicly that I take a strong stand on the side of Phil Walsh. I have no doubt that the information he shares is accurate. I agree that his voice should not only be heard, but listened to. There is a difference.
I take issue with those, even my beloved aunts and uncles, who would “shush” him for fear of nationals, especially Muslims. No one is in danger. The real danger comes when sin is confronted because it is then that our gospel becomes real and powerful. While you remain silent they enjoy religious victory.
You cannot believe, even for a second, that they are not aware of the indiscretions. You cannot believe, even for a second, that they do not rejoice that the inaction of the mission, the looking in the other direction, has shown them how empty our “religion” is. BE BRAVE! Let God be God! Show them how powerful the gospel is. Show them that when sin is confronted then God is glorified. Show them what God’s justice and mercy look like.
I am ashamed of all of you who used your “influence” to remove Phil’s post. You are guilty of spiritual abuse AND of watering down the power of the gospel.
I am with you on this Diana. Phil should be heard and believed, and not “shushed”. Sometimes doing soccer with our national friends is more valuable and things are seen more clearly from that angle than from the top down. We do a great disservice to our national friends but thinking less of them than we ought. Phil is right to speak out. Many of the nationals will follow. Sin must be dealt with. It is right to speak out for purity and truth in the church.
My husband and I are pre-fielders with ABWE and are very sad about all of this. We are praying about what we should do. I have been reading the blog everyday trying to keep up with everything. I did read Phil Walsh’s posts a few days ago and would like to know more about his experience. Why were some of his comments taken off the blog? I am interested in hearing what he has to say. Also, in ABWE’s recent statement it says they will agree to a 3rd party investigation about DK but what about the other situations of abuse? Would a 3rd party investigation show if other MK’s were abused in other areas and reveal if leaders at ABWE were covering those up too?
We are praying for everyone and are sick to our stomachs that no one did anything to protect these women when they were kids.
The ABWE Board has released a statement that can be found at: http://tinyurl.com/3qoxsqn
The ABWE Board has released a statement that can be found at: http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-decision-regarding-independent-investigation/
We read it and we don’t like it.
ditto. i don’t think a commission is needed. just more red tape and more delay. I keep thinking about the Russ Lloyd Diary that clearly painted a picture of URGENCY in getting a little girl back to the field and getting a DR off the field. If I read it correctly, it seemed only a matter of a couple days. Now we’d like to see ABWE do all within its power to get a 3rd party investigation going.
ABWE’s decision about the third party investigation is inadequate. I know you find that predictable of me, but who do you think will fill the role of that special commission? No doubt they will stack the deck their way with people who are easily intimidated and manipulated. If not – and they are being sincere – I challenge them to let ME be one of those on that team. And I challenge them to let PHIL WALSH be one of those commission members. That will prove their efforts are sincere. Until then – we are not happy with your decision. It is inadequate.
Diana Durrill
P.S. – Impressive that I saw Dr. Michael Loftis’ name on that statement! FINALLY. Too bad it’s on a statement that I wholeheartedly find inadequate and frankly, I find it to be confirmation if their insincerity. (Kinda like the first two statements put out before the confession.)
And P.S. – Someone on the inside warned us we’d probably be disappointed. Yup! They’re right! I’m not the only one who finds it inadequate….one of your own does, too.
Diana, Not only is Dr. Loftis’ name on the statement, but it also clarifies that he has been in favor of a 3rd party investigation since March 29 – the day before ABWE’s confession was offered. I believe that deserves recognition in light of the number of times comments have been posted since then questioning his motives and/or willingness to submit to such an investigation.
I think they should state the names (and positions) of WHO is on that commission.
http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-decision-regarding-independent-investigation/
No…it is not progress. Not unless they let us name a few of our own to that commission. Otherwise we believe the deck will be stacked in their favor.
Sorry, a poor choice to name the post Progress… Progress can be both good and bad.
Good in that there was some sign of life from the main office. My earlier post was simply to draw attention to the new post.
Bad in that it seems like a complete miss of the target they should have been aiming for.
As I reread and consider, I see the repeated phrase, “…the sexual abuse of missionary children by Donn Ketcham as well as the response to that abuse by the ABWE administration.” While I whole-heartedly agree that this is a necessary topic for investigation, I have also read posts on this blog (Phil’s, for example) that cause me to believe that an investigation limited to this scope is not an adequate look at the sin that is lurking within the organization. This isn’t the “We’ll do anything to win our victims’ and supporters’ trust” attitude or action that I would expect from a truly repentant organization.
I also agree with the idea that shrouding this in meetings and committees will only serve to delay the resolution and further alienate the victims involved.
I will echo the plea to ABWE that the diversions and distractions end and GRACE be immediately engaged to bring the out the truth in this matter. If the inevitable end result is a mutually-agreed upon 3rd party investigation, why wait? More delay will most likely lead to more facts coming through this website, which will serve to further erode any amount of trust or credibility that ABWE has left.
Will continue praying for all…
A commission? A stacked with ABWE people commission? I can’t believe this is your answer. My heart is broken again.
To: Are you kidding me?
Please reread the statement from ABWE. The commission is not the one doing the investigation. According to the statement: ABWE has said that the board unanimously voted to have an independant 3rd party to do the investigation. The 2nd vote was to put together the commission and it is only bringing recommendations of who the 3rd party could be. No ABWE personel could be on the investigation part of it or it wouldn’t be a 3rd party investigator.
I’m glad they finally agreed to the 3rd party, now lets see how quickly they can keep things going.
I’m a family member of some of the victims and a current ABWE missionary so I want them to respond Godly, wisely, lovingly, but much more quickly! Our future with the mission is also at stake if they don’t respond correctly. I just want to make sure we are reading things correctly too!
I read and reread. The first vote gave me hope. The second vote destroyed that hope. Commission equals more delay. The buck could have stopped at the board, but now they are once removed. I had hoped and prayed that the board would do right.
This statement didn’t seem very hopeful. The statement, “we have received substantial recommendations from G.R.A.C.E. and other organizations that will be carefully reviewed,” would seem to translate to, “we’re not comfortable at all with an organization like G.R.A.C.E. getting that close to us.”
Maybe GRACE isn’t “Baptist enough”
Cynic, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I needed that. Not Baptist enough …
(Sadly, you are probably totally right.)
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” Matthew 5:25-26
I have read some comments and heard statements to the effect that this blog and the MKs are trying to destroy ABWE. But it isn’t true. A thorough investigation would actually strengthen the Mission, not destroy it.
The statement released today shows a lack of understanding that what some people at ABWE have done is try to cover a crime. I posted above a response to someone who asked, but it bears repeating here. Covering a crime IS against the law.
The law is called “duty to inform”. It has been a law in all states since 1974. Every state has its own amendments to the law and varying statute of limitations on it. Pennsylvania has one of the more recent amendments that has opened the door to lawsuits in clergy abuse cases. There’s a lawsuit going on in Philadelphia right now. Suing Catholic church leaders for child endangerment because they covered abuse and did not report it.
Who is advising that the Board and Administration convene a committee to decide on a third party? Why not do it now? Today. Do they really want the third party to be a police investigation for criminal activity?
Scripture says very clearly to make friends “QUICKLY.” Maybe some do not understand that this really, actually would stand up in court? I don’t get it. Who is advising ABWE on the laws regarding child abuse? Anyone?
The time for discussion is so far past. So, so, so far. Please reconsider your decision, ABWE. Appoint GRACE today.
Deborah Barrick Beddoe
Bangladesh MK 1981-1987
I meant to say — specifically — that covering the crime of child sexual abuse is against the law.
More bureaucracy is not the answer to the shortcomings of bureaucracy. Timely action is needed. I totally agree an investigation with GRACE should commence right away. Leadership requires the ability to make a decision and ACT, even when decisions are hard, not to pass decisions on to someone else.
ALSO, has ABWE yet notified medical boards? That needs to happen immediately (really years ago, of course)…not pending a further vote and more committees. Not doing so immediately continues to cover crimes and be grossly negligent. While ABWE absolutely has a responsibility to the victims and working through an investigation, while working through that process they should not continue to neglect the reporting of DK’s actions that has been neglected for 22 years!
Dear ABWE board,
Perhaps we have a delay from the ABWE board because they are grappling with how wide the investigation should be. Do they see how systemic the problem of abuse is? The way many who have chimed in on this blog have been dealt with by leaders of ABWE could be called abusive.
Alice Payne and Jeannie Lockerbie have both written of their dismay at the meeting in July of 1989 in which the field missionaries were told they were not to discuss the case of Donn Ketcham even among themselves. Dan DeCook wrote “And if the ABWE policy on authority was such that no one felt free to stand up and express revulsion and distate for this “plan” as it was carried out, then this is a culture that needs dismantling.”
Open, honest and vulnerable are concepts with high value to me. I have received many great values through my ABWE upbringing, but theses were not among them. As this deal plays out, it looks like ABWE leadership still does not value them. Control and looking good are clearly much higher values up on the hill. If some people worry that the goal of this blog is to destroy ABWE or push ABWE off a cliff, I would say no. We only want to push off a cliff those parts that value control and looking good more than truth.
Open, honest and vulnerable were not high values in the churches in which I was raised and which I have served. Our ministries are more platform-oriented than relationship-oriented. Control and looking good are highly valued. The sickness at ABWE runs all through the Church. We have a near addiction to people who have platform sizzle. Witness the numbers emptying out of their local church to attend a regional megachurch. Then the local church tries to ape the megachurch. Yet we know that the better, longer lasting fruit is the result of relationships.
The “circle of offense” was kept very narrow in DK’s case when it should have been fully public, according to I Timothy 5:19-21. There were also lies and deception. Could Aunt Jeannie and Aunt Alice have broken through this spiritually cloaked “culture of authority” by speaking their minds? Would they have been labelled “unsubmissive” or “not team players” or “a bad testimony in a Muslim culture”? Probably. In hindsight we agree today that they and everyone else at that meeting in July of 1989 should have rejected the directive of their leaders in order to find and speak the truth.
So, today, 22 years later, there is no way for us to repeat those errors. We must find and speak the truth. We should not be afraid to follow the truth wherever it leads us. ABWE board, put away the script. Give up control. Give up looking good. No one knows how this “should” turn out. Join us on this journey for truth.
Sincerely,
Dave DeCook
I read ABWE’s update http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-decision-regarding-independent-investigation/
they stated they formed a commission “The commission includes men, women, and former MKs. ” to select the investigators.
Have any of you BD MK’s that post here regularly been asked to be ON that commission? I hope several of you have been asked.
Errrr … that would be a no.
To answer Dr. Steve Morris’s question about adult missionaries allowing all this abuse to go unchecked: Our family was living at Malumghat in the ’60s and ’70s. We felt safe with our children being with us, attending our little on-compound school. and as far as we could discern, living among trusted fellow missionaries. Yes, DK’s flirty ways and off-color remarks, etc. we noted, and observed to grow worse. We were in a small group who decided in l975 to make a recommendation to the Home Board that he be removed from the field, or at least “dealt with.” Why did we wait that long? A lot has to do with his last name, and alot has to do with his “doctor” title. Our warning did not do much good. As to your question to us women who had DK for a dr. I will say that he was always extremely professional, and did not act like his “joker” or “flirty” self in the exam room. I believe this is one part of his sly and cunning warped self; he knew that to be careful with the mothers would eliminate fears, and we never ever dreamed he was a child molester. That belief seemed backed by his great attraction to some in general, and one in particular, single women. I hope this sheds a little light on the situation.
This is typical of how they operate….how many meetings does one need to have? Now we need another committee to pick a 3rd party? It doesn’t seem that they care all that much about building trust with the hurting MKs. Either that, or another Enron is currently taking place and other files are being destroyed to protect the guilty ones that we don’t know about. (although thankfully it seems you all already have enough evidence to convict). This isn’t an isolated incident in ABWE’s history, so prepare yourselves for much much more to come to light and then start writing your resignation letters.
Why do I feel so nauseated after reading ABWE’s latest report to us? I mean LITERALLY sick to my stomach!! They need to have another “committee” to determine what 3rd party to appoint? They need “to review each of the outside organizations which have offered their assistance”?? Wow. Who would have known that so many other organizations exist to “helping” ABWE!! And that these organizations should be so up to date on what’s happening! That’s the problem with this whole mess. ABWE always has to maintain the reigns in some way, somehow. Control. How about some supporting churches step up to the plate and request a 3rd party investigation into the organization that handles the funds and well-being of the sending churches’ missionaries? After all, ABWE is only “the arm” ….the “helper” as it were…to get missionaries to the field. I wait with bated breath to see just what organization they recommend to do the 3rd party investigation. Actually, I don’t care WHO they put on their committee. The fact is it’s a third party investigation and common sense tells me that the “offender” does not have a choice in choosing his “judge”. Give me a break. Maybe our US government can pull this stuff on the American people, but I think ABWE should know that we’re smarter than the average American when it comes to justice and doing what is RIGHT…not what might be of benefit to the one in seeming control, ie ABWE. Not only am I sick…I’m DISGUSTED. And to think we entrusted our very lives to this organization for many years. It now makes sense to us as to why things happened the way they did….and didn’t. Lastly, I assume that ABWE will be paying the ways for Susannah, the 14 yr old, Tam and Diana to fly to PA so they can be on the committee?
The news from ABWE’s board does make one wonder what the organization’s leadership is afraid of —
their negligence being exposed?
their cover-up being exposed?
Who they decide to choose for this investigation will be very telling as to the sincerity of wanting to get at the root of this problem — and even others that may surface as a result.
Obviously, there is a lot, based on what has been shared the past few weeks/days.
Dear ABWE,
Submitting to a Third Party Investigation does not mean you should have the privilege of researching and choosing an investigator that best fits your agenda.
Your responsibility as the one who has done the offending is to humbly submit to the leadership of the one(s) you have offended.
ABWE, your actions have left you with no credibility.
I ask you, how is it that you think your “willingness to submit” to a Third Party of your choice will satisfy the victims and their families as well as the missionaries and churches who support you financially?
The missionaries and churches who support your organization will not be satisfied (nor should they be) unless the investigation goes beyond Bangladesh and delves into every field ABWE is in.
G.R.A.C.E. is a reputable organization who has the trust of the victims and who also has ABWE’s best interest at heart. I am sure that their desire, as is mine, is not to see the ABWE walls come tumbling down, but to clean out the sin that is eating your organization from the inside out.
Missionaries and churches will then be able to trust and support again.
The hidden and secret sins are hurting many people as well as the cause of Christ Who is the Light of the world.
Let go of the reins for the sake of Christ.
Mike Durrill
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
I must agree with Pastor Durrill. I have no affiliation with ABWE but am a resident of West Michigan where Donn Ketcham started his family practice after leaving the mission field. I have been appalled that the only investigation here seems to be in the hands of the organization involved in the earlier cover up. Our local news media carried a story but to my knowledge, there has been no follow up. There may have been more crimes committed and victims that have yet to come forward. With missionaries now scattered across the US amd the World, it seems like more attention needs to focus on finding all the victims that have a story.
Why is ABWE dragging their feet? Is there any way an investigation can be initiated apart from ABWE? Sadly, I keep thinking this reads like an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. It seems like things are moving farther away, instead of closer to the truth, as long as objective third party investigators are not allowed to begin their work.
We are no longer ABWE missionaries. We fought for several years for what was right. They tired of our ability to stand and speak truth so a commission was established that was filled with people who believed the mission could do no wrong and the underlings were the ones in error. Our voice was lost and we gave up. I sure hope someone is listening.
We ARE not happy with the boards decision. We have seen our daughter’s anquish for 22 years. She thought her family knew of the confessions etc that the board hid from us. We knew NOTHING. On that the day she shut out her family. She felt abandioned and betrayed. For the first time in 22 yrs she found out that we were held in the dark. I PLEAD with you ABWE board to use GRACE. That is so important to the MK’s and their families. The MK’s have not been able to trust ANYONE and now they have a group they TRUST. It is the one thing they have asked. HOW can you deny it? Why? Is the board made up of Godly men? Please try to meet the heart of the MK’s. After all of the years of destruction they asking only for this.
This was copied from the ABWE Confession and GRACE section, but I thought it should be read here since the Commission will be recommending an investigator to the ABWE Board. Pray with us that the Commission will choose GRACE.
MKSafetyNet strongly agrees with Susannah that GRACE be the Third Party investigator. ABWE is a member of the Child Protection Service Network (CPSN), who use “Independent Investigators”. However, their independent investigators are almost always from other member agencies of CPSN – so a part of the mission community. GRACE is independent.
Today as I was making plans to return once again this summer to help at Karolyn Kempton Memorial Hospital in Togo and then later in the year to Memorial Christian Hospital in Bangladesh, a lot of thoughts have gone through my mind about ABWE’s medical ministry, my limited role in this, and how God could possibly be glorified through me, through each of you, through our churches, and through ABWE. Once again (see my previous post of March 31 with emphasis on healing for all victims) I write with hesitancy, not wanting my words to be misunderstood or my motives to be questioned.
I have been in the “victim” seat—awaiting the chance for 2, 3, up to five years to tell my story after claims of medical malpractice. I understand how slow the wheels of justice turn. I endured sleepless nights, had anxiety, questioned my medical abilities and self worth, and even questioned why God was allowing this to happen. I never had the plaintiff or her attorney offer me an apology for adversely affecting my life after I was exonerated by a medical panel. I can understand that after years of enduring pain and hurt there is a clarion call for swift justice to be enacted.
In surgery, I have never been known as a rapid surgeon. When facing a medical or surgical emergency, careful evaluation and methodical, careful surgery is preferable and less likely to result in complications as opposed to rushing someone to surgery without preparation and then recklessly performing the surgery. While I am operating in the pelvis, there is risk of hemorrhage from injury to major blood vessels, occluding or cutting the ureters, injuring to the intestine among other things.
While emotions are high and trust has been broken or eroded, I would still encourage you to show some GRACE to ABWE even while you are calling for them to use the organization G.R.A.C.E. for the evaluation of ABWE. Action is imperative; however speed is not always the best way to achieve lasting results. As I look at ABWE’s responses and understand how a large organization functions (as opposed to you or me being able to sit down at the computer without consulting anyone else prior to writing), I see a confession (please let God judge motives of this.) on March 30. The very next day, President Mike Loftus requested that the board authorize an “independent” investigation. Allowing for the weekend and the fact that the board members do not live in Harrisburg, five days is not an unreasonable time for their decision and formal response.
While supporting each victim and praying for complete healing for each one (again see my post of March 31), I again want to remind each person blogging that God is the Healer, God is your (our) Friend, and ultimately God will be the Judge. He is The Judge, not only for those who victimized MK’s in Bangladesh or withheld truth, but also each of us as to our attitudes and actions. As justice is sought, remember the admonition in Galatians 5:19-22:
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry, and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law
I found this statement in a web blog by satanists:
BEGIN QUOTE.
END QUOTE.
Friend, this is not about showing grace to ABWE, it is about being transparent and real Christians. The world is blaspheming the name of our God because of the way we try to sound spiritual, without being truly spiritual or biblical. Just ask yourself, if this were a cult or a weird Christian group, would you be asking us to be gracious to them? Goofy grace, and sloppy agape are not grace or agape at all. What would Jesus do? I believe He would weep. I also believe that he would drive these money changers out of the Temple, while screaming at them, “you have made my Father’s house into a den of thieves.
Wikersham, I have seen that blog also. I hope you don’t mind that I reformatted your post to make it clear to our readers that you are quoting the opinion and content of another blog in your italicized words and not this blog.
— Tamara
All irreformable or intransigent organizations have ways of wearing down their opponents. Do you feel like we are getting the runaround? I do. Deny, delay, defer. Here we go again! How long will it take to appoint a commission? Maybe we can fight about who will be on the commission, too, instead of using our energy to get at the truth!
The latest half-measure by the ABWE board underscores that their top priority is self preservation. Can there be any doubt that a broader investigation into abusive leadership practices scares the willies out of them? And yet, the more we get the runaround, the more we suspect they have a lot to hide.
There is probably less to hide than people suspect, but they seem paranoid of having any of it come to light. For a corporation that has been professional about looking good, they are behaving like amateurs right now.
Not an MK, and no longer a Baptist, but still in this fight via prayer and whatever way I can be useful to my dear friends…
In my professional life confronting organizations –government bodies, businesses and non-profits–I have found they are truly living things. They recoil as a group when threatened, they respond in unison to deal with the threat and it is only when their parts can be dealt with in isolation do you seem to make any headway. ABWE is not required under federal tax law to disclose ANY information about its corporation, its governance, and how it spends its money. Even as these godly, and righteously angry, men and women have pounded on the gates of their house, they have chosen not to respond personally. They have chosen not to reveal their identities when asked.
It is probably same to assume that none of these victims have heard from the CEO personally, via the telephone or a visit. It is probably safe to assume none of these dear ones were asked to be present at the board meeting to put a face to the redacted names on the paperwork. These are not unreasonable expectations.
They still don’t seem to understand the value of sunlight. They still don’t seem to see the value of sending their top dogs out to meet with those who have been harmed. Instead they seem to send a note down the mountain via the hired help to hand to the women through the gate: Be patient. We’re working on it.
I understand the survivors frustration and I don’t see anything wrong about it. God created us as emotional beings. Anger, pain, frustration -these things are morally neutral in the short term. Failure to acknowledge them or use them appropriately causes trouble in the long term, but nothing about what these women and their families have done has been inappropriate. Nay, rather they are acting out in an unusual and aggressive way to an unusual situation that requires a swift response.
I will continue to pray for the doors to fling open, for wisdom as to how to proceed next. Never underestimate the power of the subpoena in its ability to force open the windows (though I would not be surprised if shredders have been running atop the hill). Never underestimate the power of the press either, and anyone who wants to contact me about that, feel free to obtain my contact information from Diana Durrill.
I hope my constant lurking and occasional comments have not been unwelcome for I am nothing more than an old friend to a few. But I pray for you all here and continue to be constantly challenged by your courage and your grace.
The ABWE board decision is less that encouraging. It certainly gives the impression that they are trying to run out the clock or just wear everybody down. One goal seems to be to try to remain in control using the toddleresqe technique of doing what one is forced to do, but trying to pretend that that is what they really wanted to do in the first place.
Self-perpetuating boards like ABWE’s are the classic old boys club. A board like this typically, even in Fortune 500 companies, is under total control of the CEO. The CEO controls the agenda, the flow of information, and usually intimidates board members (if that is needed) into following his wishes. The board is, in truth, simply a skirt for the CEO to hide behind if there are problems.
I agree with Dave DeCook. This is a half measure. ABWE needs to be seen as moving with dispatch to begin the INDEPENDENT third party investigation. Setting a date of a week or two, max, to have selected the third party would be good. I see no reason why the recommended organization, GRACE, should not be chosen. If it is not there should be a very good, well explained reason. It would seem that other fields should be included in an investigation after this one is done.
Two suggestions for ABWE board and management composition that might help prevent similar problems in the future.
1. There is no reason why the position of president should be considered a lifetime appointment. Other, well-regarded, missions change CEOs after a set period of years. This one change would go a long way in removing the sense of entitlement and invulnerability that many long entrenched CEOs get.
2. Appoint some women to the board. Please don’t quote various passages from the Apostle Paul to me. I know them well. ABWE is not a Church. It is a service organization. There is no Biblical reason why women cannot serve on the board. If you think that it is unbiblical for women to serve on the board, then how in God’s name can you send single women alone to the far corners of the Earth to minister to men. This is at best inconsistency of the first order.
Good suggestions Stephen. Let’s eview a brief history from http://www.abwe.org
Although Dr. Raphael Thomas gets most of the credit, Ms. Ellen Martien, was also co-founder of ABWE. Another woman, Mrs. Lucy Peabody assumed the chairmanship of this committee and therefore became the mission’s first president.
There you go. Downfall of the mission right there, letting a woman be a leader. 😉
If there are women on the ABWE board I stand corrected. I could not find a list of the board members on the website so who was to know?
You weren’t to know, Dr. Morris. I think that’s part of the problem. No one ever wanted you to know.
It is my opinion that ABWE’s secrecy about their board (in the face ABWE Canada’s transparency) is because they do not want churches knowing they have two women on the board, do not want churches knowing they are not all Baptist (though of course I’m sure they are “baptist enough”), etc., etc. The secrecy is terrible.
And it’s a shame that an organization started by women has reduced women to such a level, and when affairs happen, as they did with DK, it was the women who were sent packing–not the guilty man.
Filling the highest offices with males. So two women are board members. Two of how many? That’s what I would like to know.
[Self-perpetuating boards like ABWE’s are the classic old boys club. A board like this typically, even in Fortune 500 companies, is under total control of the CEO. The CEO controls the agenda, the flow of information, and usually intimidates board members (if that is needed) into following his wishes. The board is, in truth, simply a skirt for the CEO to hide behind if there are problems.]
It shouldn’t be this way! Not among Christians! Why aren’t Christians different? Can ANYONE be trusted?
Yes. I’ve never had cause to look before now. WHY aren’t the names of the board members on the website? I had assumed that any organization lists this.
There are currently women on the ABWE board.
great suggestions, Steve. It so often takes some “outside” perspective; sometimes that “outside” even includes “outside what Christian organizations usually do.”
As of our involvement on the board 2 years ago, there were 2 women on the advisory board, none on the executive board.
I am an ABWE missionary. Since discovering this blog I have been following, as I could, without affecting my ministry duties.
Prior to becoming a missionary I worked in the secular world. I personally witnessed many leadership bungles and some outright, flagrant breaking of company policies. When the guilty parties were discovered these corporations wasted no time in walking them out the door and in some cases contacting civil authorities. Everyone knew that the rules were applied equally within the company.
The pattern that I see coming from those in authority at ABWE troubles my heart and vexes my soul. How could you punish the victims and cover for the perpetrator!!?? How could you deny these victims for so long, the justice that they deserved and that the law demands!!!???Were ABWE under the umbrella of one of these corporations, I would have no doubt as to the future of some within leadership. Sometimes the only way to change leadership is to change leadership.
Until G.R.A.C.E. is given this case and the commitment is made to accept their findings the leadership at ABWE will be doing nothing more than arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
Uncle Joe, Let me first say I mean you know personal disrespect to you by the following “general” comments. I have many fond memories including your songs on the banjo, however in reading your post I struggled with one particular detail.
“…We were all extremely busy.. “ As a MCH MK who has been reassimilated back stateside for almost 30 years, now raising children of my own, I wonder what did all you Aunts and Uncles do with all that free time. Certainly there was a lot of time spent with your MCH duties. However, you did after all, not have to do many of the typical duties of parents back stateside. There was “help” with the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the dishes, the shopping, the yardwork, and the gardening. Then again, there was the mandatory two hour nap time every day at noon, and the one hour bible study every night after dinner. Let us not forget that many Aunts and Uncles decided to send their children to other countries for schooling because you all were just so “extremely busy”( Maybe a stretch, but for those that did get to leave, I understand it was a positive experience). Then again there was the yearly escapes that needed to be planned back to Bangkok, Singapore, Himalayan mountains and other exotic locations.
First and foremost should have been your duty to your children. While there were many privileges being an MK, there were also many sacrifices. When one actually stops to use Google Earth to find that small speck of the planet called MCH, what is apparent is how separated we, the MK children, were from contact with the outside world .
What is crystal clear is the ability to abuse this isolation, which is why I can not understand why checks and balances were not implemented at all levels. Why more questions were not asked, why authority was not challenged, why those who did know the truth, including blood relatives of DK, did not speak out. Just two analogies that come to mind for those of you who have never experienced such isolation. First, is the historical accounts of Jim Jones and his 900 Temple members in Jonestown Guyana. Second is the movie by M. Night Shyamalan called the Village, were the isolation was self imposed on the children by there parents. This was for many our MK reality at MCH, and may be the root cause of why so many MKs have problems just blindly accepting authority.
In conclusion, in reading all the posts from so many of the MKs who have gone on to pursue higher education (quite impressive the overall number of posts from MK Dr’s, Reverends, missionaries, etc) I can only think about the silent voices we are not hearing from. Those with permanent scares such that they were not able to make the adjustment back from the isolation that there parent chose for them.
When I first read your post, Silent MCH MK, I was angry. I was defensive of a man I now consider my uncle. Uncle Joe. I heard of him my whole life, from the time I was 7 onward. Have always known his name. Always heard good things. Met one of his sons one summer, I think. But over the past 22 days he has been nothing but good to the MKs of Bangladesh. It brings tears to my eyes just to type that. Uncle Joe has been a Godsend to us, the girls who have been vulnerable in the hands of Donn Ketcham.
SO …. getting beyond you calling out Uncle Joe.
I read the rest of what you said. And there’s truth in it. First, there is truth because it is YOUR story. You have those feelings and I can’t say they aren’t real. Also, you are right. I lived in Chittagong, but spent a lot of time at Malumghat, and it was like some kind of time warp. Your analogy to the movie The Village was dead on. Malumghat is almost impossible to describe to those who haven’t lived there or spent a lot of time there.
But there were many good things to living in community like that. Had their not been a sexual pervert, a monster, living in our midst, it might have been so different for so many. I myself have giggled at some of the lighter aspects of that community life. Like my Uncle Ken deciding one night that he would eat with the Towers because “he didn’t want pizza.” I actually wrote it in my diary! (Some exciting life!)
And I, too, struggled with depression of being an MK and the isolation. (If you think Malumghat was bad, try Chittagong, where we could not just walk across the street to play with our friends!) All I ever wanted was to go home to America and be NORMAL. But I am grateful that I did not.
I applaud my parents for trying to change the world. I applaud my parents for doing what they thought God called them to do. My husband is in ministry and we know it is hard, and we say to each other, how will our children survive this? And so we try hard and we pray, but we mess up too. And I’m sure our parents did the same. They loved us. They loved Bengalis. They loved their God. They had a dream, and I admire them more and more the older I get for following that dream.
I am sad for any MK who felt that their parents were ignoring them. (And yes, I too am an MK who has trouble with authority figures.) And so I grieve for you, that your experience brought pain.
But not all of our parents disappeared into ministry. My mother did not. I was reminded of this while reading a diary of mine last week. Ironically, I chronicled a the Spiritual Life Conference of 1988 (or 89?), and I record being in a small group where Donn Ketcham (yes, THAT Donn Ketcham) asked me point blank, who it was that I turned to for support. And I answered, “My mother. Because she understands me.”
My mother and I were closer during that hard term in Bangladesh than ever. Donn, of course, turned this into a sermon on how terrible it was that our children could only look inside their own four walls for support. (Deep breath.) Whatever.
But when I look back, I know that my mother loved me and understood my depression and why things were hard there in as many ways as I would let her into. If I opened up to her, she heard me. If I had opened up about more, maybe more would have been done sooner on many things. My mother was (and IS) feisty. Ask anyone on that field council, and they will tell you where I get it. 🙂 I come by it honestly. My mother and I do not have a perfect relationship, but there is deep love and we share this call to activism and speaking our minds.
And I pray that whoever you are, Silent MCH MK, you will allow your parents to be close to you, if you do not right now. Because I’m sure that even if they don’t always show it, even if they have screwed up along the way, I am sure that they loved you. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But I hope you’ll go to them and share your hurt.
— Tammy of the Chittagong Barricks
Thought I would make a comment and then leave it at that. My dad has broad shoulders, can take the heat of a little criticism, and would readily acknowledge what a lot of truly busy people would acknowledge: that ordering one’s priorities in the heat of battle, and ordering them in retrospect, would often yield different results. Whether to accompany the kids to Coxes Bazaar for a respite from the heat at the beach, or whether to stay at the hospital and attend to the latest crisis in the medical field, was a constant tension for him. The crises kept repeating themselves, but the kids can kind of grew up and move away; and in retrospect, one might have spent one’s time a little differently, at least some of the time.
I was a witness to the busyness, but certainly not a victim of it. We had a pretty clear understanding of the stressors that were pulling at Dad on a daily basis. As an “all grown up” surgeon myself these days, I am certain that my busyness in one dimension (doctor) was magnified three fold by his being both a doctor, and practicing in a third world/other culture, and being a missionary as an added dimension.
But to lend some objectivity to this, I can offer that several of the short-term surgeons who came to Bangladesh (and were well aware of how busy they would be in the US) expressed a strong interest in joining the Malumghat team, but were dismayed (and eventually turned away) because of the “busyness” of the medical team there. It just seemed to them that the needs were so compelling that it was impossible to regulate one’s life, to maintain a balance that would love/honor/protect one’s family as well as honor the ministry that God has placed before them.
In the heat of battle, you are forced by circumstances to rely on those around you. Ask anyone in a foxhole–checking your right and left flank personally during a firefight is nearly impossible. You trust your team around you. Which makes the sin of DK all the more egregious. He used that trust as a buffer to protect himself from being found out. In retrospect, I’m sure every missionary who worked around him wished they had blown the whistle a little louder, wished they had raised an alarm earlier. We know enough now to realize this was necessary. But it certainly wasn’t a case of sleeping thru his misdemeanors and crimes while taking a daily siesta.
As a further BTW, my siblings and I, as well as my parents, felt the isolation from American culture was actually a good thing. We watched almost no TV, read a ton of books, worked on a lot of “self-improvement” things like music, and were gifted by all kinds of teaching time from mature adults who had a strong interest in our development, with all of our “isolated” free time. Which is why, I suppose, we all feel so betrayed that the idyllic upbringing on Robinson Crusoe’s island was not all that we supposed it to be, at least for some of us. And why we hurt so much for those who discovered it to be a secluded bit of Hell from which they could not easily escape.
And just as a historical clarification–Uncle Dick Stagg played the banjo (rather well), and my dad played the guitar (and I think he would own up, not nearly as well). But we loved him for trying 🙂
In Reply to Dr. Dan DeCook: I love you ,Uncle Joe! (Pass that along to your dad please!) I remember your dad being extremely devoted to his family ,despite the busyness, and I for one, am also glad that I grew up in Malumghat, strange as that may sound. Most of my memories are actually good memories and I remember all the adults spending time with us in a way that I knew they cared about us. unfortunately, there was one wolf among the the sheep. I don’t blame the other adults for what one wolf in sheeps clothing did. He fooled everybody as far as the pedophelia. So…all you Aunts and Uncles out there…I don’t blame you and I hope you’re not blaming yourself.
Susannah Baker
I think my dad (“Uncle Joe”) still feels guilty for how his workaholism found such fertile soil on the mission field, but I don’t think busy-ness is the explanation for how the pedophile escaped notice. The fact remains that we as a family ate breakfast, lunch and supper together, including devotions at breakfast and often story time at supper ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY! When we got back to the States, that lifestyle disappeared overnight. Maybe the cook and bearer made it happen!
I think my brother Dan hit the nail on the head (again! You have no idea how hard it is to keep up with him at table conversations) when he brought up the issue of trust. The military analogy was perfect. With all the uncertainties and dangers of being on the other side of the world and with the ideal of treating others as we wish to be treated, trust was exchanged in liberal quantities between the like-minded, like-background missionaries. This made it EASY for DK to get away with his crimes, so much so that he was emboldened to develop some kind of pseudo-paramour relationship with his final victim (no doubt way more destructive than one-off events). SICK! SICK! SICK! The greater the trust, the greater the betrayal (see Peace Child by Don Richardson).
Jesus, our High Priest, is well acquainted with the feelings of our infirmities. “He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.” Dear MK sisters, He is your advocate, He is your lawyer! (Hebrews 4:15, John 13:18, I John 2:1) You will win your case! (Yeah, and most of the rest of us really do have some kind of dog in this fight.)
So glad we have some great minds and eloquent speakers on here! Just wanted to add my 2 cents. Do I have some bad memories and hurts from Malumghat? -yes. Did I have some very lonely times?-yes, I was the only MK above age 5 for a year. Do I have wonderful memories like my MK friends have mentioned-absolutely. Would I trade it for anything?-NO I always understood the busyness of our parents. Were they perfect-no, I’m a parent of 4 and far from perfect myself! Did they have help in the house and yard-yes, though at times the directions and interuptions it caused where more time consuming than doing it yourself! Being available 24hrs a day, darwans knocking on your window in the middle of the night for some medical need or security problem, someone at the door asking for help all the time, meetings, go-down work, emptying and sorting barrels, getting your car fixed again and again!, hours of waiting for those who didn’t care about time, lack of resources and helpers-so you were spread to thin. It had it’s pros and cons. It’s what you did with what you had and in your humaness trying to serve God with all you had, knowing you were failing somewhere and praying He would fill in the gap of Your imperfections, but knew THIS is where God called you and THIS is where you’ll do your best, with God’s help. I haven’t heard of a closer family than this and my memories are precious. I’d love to hear “she’ll be coming around the mountain”, “bird of paradise” (sorry Aunt Carol:) “Biman” and all those Jolly Jungle Jiggles, etc…. All of my precious Bengali family too-those that shared their curry when I didn’t want what was served on my table:), who laughed when I called their “teep” an “Owee Owee”, played with me and called me their friend. No I wouldn’t trade it! I pray that we will be able to help those whose dark clouds of pain obscure the beautiful memories. May we shine the light of Jesus Christ into this dark world-may we be a reflection of Jesus, not a stumbling block to all those we love who are watching. “I cast all my cares upon You, I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet and any time I don’t know what to do, I will cast my cares upon You”-Lord we know you are loving and just and we pray for YOUR wisdom and direction. Thank you everyone for making me feel loved and a part of a wonderful family!!
Cindy –
I feel the same way now that I’m sure our parents felt then…”God please, PLEASE fill in for all my inadequacies. Help my children know that although I will, and do, fail them, they are loved.”
I am so, so thankful for my parents…I think they did a great job even with their mistakes. I am thankful for my aunts and uncles…even with their mistakes. And I trust that God, in His goodness and grace, will help my children be thankful for me, even with all my mistakes.
As I reread their statement tonight in a less emotional state, it seems to me that they are actually saying the commission was already appointed, is made up of members of the board, and just HAPPENS to include some women, men and former MKs. (Yeah … Michael Loftis was an MK too, you know!) In other words … they have their commission, and it is made up entirely of board members. Am I right? Am I reading this wrong? I feel like I need a lawyer to decipher it and tell me what the heck it means. And why no deadline?
There are no women on the ABWE board, are there?
Two women on the board, from what I hear.
Basic common sense says that they would make the names of the committee members public. Basic common sense says that they would invite members of the BD women from here as representatives on the committee. –I would say basic common sense says that they would set a deadline for themselves, except that I hadn’t thought of that idea. 😉 I’d have to admit I’m lacking common sense. – Oh. What? 😉
To Dr. Morris, ABWE does have women on their board.
Advisory board or Executive board? ( which has all the power)
Can you imagine the U.S. government saying, “Yeah, we acknowledge we committed a crime, but we’d appreciate it if you’d just step back let the committee we appointed select the investigator.” WHAT???
Everyone would be screaming “corruption!” “conspiracy!”
My heart breaks that this was the conclusion of the ABWE Admnistration and Board. It seems so much like stalling and like scrambling —and it just doesn’t make a bit of sense.
Tonight my prayer is that whoever the MKs, board members and others are who got appointed to that Commission consider carefully the desires of the wounded.
Are ANY of the victims on this Commission? No one associated with this blog is. That says something, don’t you think?
My heart aches for all of you who were / are victims of DK. I am proud to know you and that you all had the courage to stand up and TALK. Susanna, thank you for taking the initial / difficult step to start this blog. Those of you who haven’t come to that point you are still in my prayers. I can’t imagine the years of pain that you have endured by the hands of ABWE and DK. I feel that just these past two weeks have probably been as difficult, for each of you, as the past 40 years (or as long as it has been for you) combined. Reliving your horrific memories and going through another intense time of trying to get ABWE to do something AGAIN. ENOUGH is ENOUGH!
I have lost a lot of sleep this past week reading and processing all the comments and responses and wanted to post but didn’t think I would be able to make myself clear and express myself as well as so many of you have. I realize that it is not about what I say or bringing something new and profound but that I am counted as one who is in total support of my BD MK sisters (biological and others) who were victimized by a child molester, and their fight to get ABWE to do ALL they need to in order to allow healing from all the pain they have allowed and inflicted. It amazes me that they are taking this long. Another committee? No one wants to take responsibility AGAIN.
Just a side note because if I don’t write it now I’ll forget. I read a post on facebook from a friend who is a youth pastor. He said “If we are serving God and do not have humility, are we truly serving God?” There is a reason God talks so much about Humility and Pride.
What I have been processing for the past few days is:
My memories of growing up in BD were so good. I wouldn’t have changed it for anything. Granted, boys had it much easier than girls but that is not my point. All the Hollywood Bowl Fri nights or game nights with homemade shakes, hug the candle holder, AWANA, soccer games, track events, Field Day at the hospital, hunting, motorcycles, trips to / camping at Cox’s, hike to Hebron, Linus the monkey, and just so many things. The way we all were able to do things together even though we had such a wide range of ages. I can’t think back on those things anymore the same way. The memories were good, BUT NOW all I can think about is that while some of us were having such great times and building great memories some of our fellow MK’s were living through complete Horror and feeling there was no way out and not wanting to remember. Then there was a chance to stop what was happening and start the healing process, but no, ABWE let down the most vulnerable ones in their care to “save face”.
Micah 6:8 – What does the LORD require of you?
ABWE, I ask that you allow a 3rd party, GRACE to investigate this whole ordeal and bring to light what has been darkend by evil that has been allowed to stay. Please move quickly as these women have suffered and waited long enough for you to act.
I am praying for God’s wisdom to come through and not the wisdom that ABWE has shown in the past, which has come from within. I am also praying for all of you who have suffered so much and that you will continue to abide with Christ through this difficult time and that you will be comforted.
Know that I believe you and completely support you. Lynda, I Love you.
In reply to Rick Adolph: Thank you, Rick, for your comments and your prayers for all involved tonight. Today was a tough day.
Susannah(Susie)Baker
Rick, thanks for weighing in. You are right. There were so many good memories. I laughed out loud when I read “hug the candle holder.” Oh, MK initiations … good times.
While I wouldn’t consider my time as a child there a nightmare, as it was for some, it is filled with some painful memories. Some difficult things. And a lot of residual feelings about all of it that caused me to push out the good over the last 20 years and push just about everyone away. I know I’m not the only girl who did this.
But it’s so good and encouraging to hear our childhood friends come forward and stand with us. Every male MK who adds their thoughts here simply tells us we are not alone.
I just read this response to a post on a different blog. Too bad ABWE members, missionaries and all, didn’t/don’t? distinguish gossip from words of truth and grace.
To see the original post:
http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/overheard-on-sunday/
Armando
April 6, 2011 at 8:16 am
What I take away from this comment is that while bad behavior and sin are damaging to the body, the extent of the damage is governed by the body’s willingness to expose it and treat it. I think of the quote “Sun light is the best disinfectant”. If we who are most acquainted with the fallen condition are not willing to openly address the failings of our brothers and sisters in a spirit of love and forgiveness, we open the body of Christ to an even more damaging condition of distrust, gossip and the appearance of our approval of the sin through inaction. These are the things that will split apart congregations and wreck churches.
Gossip has a hard time flourishing in an open environment where all the truth is openly discussed. The gossip finds few ears to poison in this environment. At the recent conference hosted by Biblical Theological Seminary “A Christian response to Human Trafficking and Sexual Abuse” Dr. Diane Langberg presented on sexual abuse in Christian organizations. She commented on how often victims are silenced for fear that exposure of an incident would be damaging to the church. The churches testimony or society in general for that matter should not be that it does not happen but how both victim and perpetrator are treated when it does. We only have to look at the damage to the Catholic Church in America to see how not to handle the situation. Because of back room deals, cover up and a failure to address the problem openly the entire priest hood is suspect and their every behavior around youth is monitored with a suspicious eye. Youth ministry in this environment is severely hampered. We need to develop a culture and systems where exposure of sins of a sexual nature or abuse of a spouse are encouraged as an opportunity for the body to demonstrate to the community how to handle them. The church should be the one place where a perpetrator or sex addict feels that they can come for healing and not the best place to hide. Gossip and slander comes about when there exists the appearance of something whether or not it exists. The light of the truth sends the propagators of this type of division running to find a safe dark corner.
Praying for all involved…
this touched me SO much. thanks for sharing.
It’s like getting a dirty cat into the bathtub.
Dr. Loftis,
Are there not “show stoppers” in life? I mean, are there not times in life when something unexpected happens that MUST then take precedent over everything else going on?
For the Titanic, hitting the iceberg was a show stopper. For BP, oil spewing up from the bottom of the ocean is a show stopper. For Japan, tsunami waves rolling across the land is a show stopper.
Having your beloved organization hit an iceberg of hidden truth should be a show stopper. Watching the wretched facts being spewed all over the world in a blog should be a show stopper. Having wave after wave of concerned doctors, missionaries, churches, families, and last but most definitely not least…VICTIMS expressing their dismay, hurt, and concern should be a show stopper.
I guess I find it extremely difficult to understand what ABWE is doing in the days and weeks between board meetings? I think if I were the president I would take swift and decisive action to ensure that EVERYONE knows, without any shadow of doubt, that I want this organization to be completely above board with NOTHING to hide.
This is the time for a president to exert the authority that the people have entrusted him with by taking full responsibility and declaring, “Enough is enough! THIS is what we are going to do!”
Dr. Loftis – this sad, but necessary exposure is a show stopper for ABWE. There is no more time to delay. There is no more time to strategize. There is no time for a commission to research 3rd parties. There is no more time to make sure all board members have their say.
The ship is sinking and the tugboats are standing by awaiting your orders, Captain.
Let G.R.A.C.E. help.
Mike Durrill,
Pastor, Valley Community Baptist Church
What happened to the former Micheal Loftis, the humble, loving, MK, who had many admirable qualities? What happened to change that man from the person he used to be to the person that I now refer to as Dr. Lofty?
Power and Pride.
Mike’s post today was fabulous and he should send it registered mail to the board! I had a thought on part of it. Towards the end he said something like….there is no more time to make sure that all the board members have their say about about 3rd party selection. Really? Dr. Loftis will take the time to listen to what each board member has to say before making THIS decision, but when the 14 year old or any of the other ladies went to him about a MORAL SIN he was swift to action and quick to camouflage what was distasteful for the mission. Should he not have taken the time in the past to actually listen and heed what so many have shared with him with the same urgency for thoroughness that he’s proclaiming today.
It’s a good thing I didn’t have milk for lunch today because I’m sure my stomach would have it curdled by now.
Have any of you emailed the blog site address to the big networks? ABC, CBS, NBC? I don’t know that there is a direct email, but national coverage on everyone’s evening news or morning show might entice the board to “talk quickly” when it’s their turn to have a say so that a real decision can be made.
that’s all….still praying for all involved..
I want to say that my experience growing up at Malumghat was idyllic. (Apart from what we all know now but didn’t know then.) It was a utopia. I mean, I did miss my US friends and relatives…it was hard to not have Grandpa & Grandma there for special occasions and such. But we had a family of aunts and uncles that filled that void rather well.
I was not one of those who was sent off to boarding school. That always sounded like a fun adventure, but thankfully, my parents chose to keep us with them. I look back on that now, with the eyes of a parent, and know that Malumghat, with my parents and all those aunts and uncles, was EXACTLY where God wanted me to grow up. No doubt about it. And even with all my memories being tainted by this horrible crime committed against my sister and family – I wouldn’t trade my years at Malumghat for anything!
I remember milkshakes and iced coffee – oh the wonderful recipes in the Bideshi Barbuchi Cookbook! LOVE those milkshakes!! I remember Bisho saying “Hang loose, baby!” to the guest house guests one day b/c someone (Dennis Costerison?, Harold?…can’t remember) told him that was how we said “goodbye” in America. HAHAHAHA! I remember jumping into Mud Lake and being terrified that a Crite or some other horrible creature would kill me. I remember hanging out and playing games, listening to music (Carpenters, Anne Murray, Keith Green, Rich Mullins, Petra, etc.), skinny dipping in the pool late at night (yes, I confess…I did – but only with one other person present and it was a girl. We jumped in, jumped out, and then owned bragging rights!), walking through the rice paddies to school, pulling tails of tik-tikkis, etc.
I remember rose water at church and dobb water for dessert (gag!). I remember BEGGING to stay home from church on communion days. I remember curry – oh the curry! And shingadas! LOVE tea time when we occasionally got cha and paratas. Never did like gilabees. (I know I am butchering the English spellings of these words…cut me some slack.)
BUT – I want to say LOUDLY for everyone to HEAR me:
I remember the love. Love from everyone. Love for each other. Love for the Bengalis. Love for God. Love for us mk’s especially. I cherish my memories of the BIG events the grown ups planned for us (Valentine’s Banquets, etc.). I remember the fun song times (which didn’t happen enough in my opinion – what a blast!). I remember the lungi fashion show! (Got pictures of that if you want to see them.) I remember playing games at just about every missionary family’s home at some point. Piano lessons, choir, plays, snacks, movies, magazines (thanks, Deb C.), and….well….just about enough love to go around the world and back.
Yes, our parents were busy. Yes, they had many advantages that we don’t have. But I say, loud and clear here, there was never, EVER a doubt in my mind that I wasn’t loved and cherished. No way.
To the silent MK – I have to say that my response was just the same as yours when I first read the “we were so busy” comments. But truly…as I stopped to consider that…I believe they were busy. But I also believe our aunts and uncles made every effort to love us unconditionally and without abandon. I realize that you and I have grown up in different generations….you went before me. I realize that it might have not been that loving or safe in your time. If that is so – I am so sorry and it makes me sad. I do not fault you in any way for feeling pushed aside for your feelings are yours and they are real to you.
I simply want to give a shout out to all my aunts and uncles of my time in BD (with the exception of one – you all know who he is) and say THANK YOU for your love. Thank you for your time. And thank you for your example. I would do it all again in a heart beat.
– From the book – The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Jeff Van Vonderen & David Johnson
“Let’s be clear again: Not all strong Christian leaders are abusive, nor are all spiritual systems abusive. It’s also possible that healthy leaders and spiritual systems can sometimes, unintentionally, treat people in hurtful ways. There is no such thing as a perfect family or church where people don’t ever get hurt. But the difference between an abusive system and a non-abusive system is that while hurtful behaviors might happen in both, it is not permissible to talk about problems, hurts, and abuses in the abusive system. Hence, there is no healing and restoration after the wound has occurred, and the victim is made to feel at fault for questioning or pointing out the problem.”
Thank you so much, Diana, for your post, the silent MK made me so sad. So sorry we failed him or her. I can’t write now with broken right arm/shoulder. We love you all and thot Mal. was almost heaven on earth in spite of all these secrets. God bless you and heal your hurts.
That’s why I said i was sorry we failed him or her.
1) DK was in church on Sunday. He sat in the third row!
2) Today, Wood tv told me that they contacted ABWE. ABWE told them that they were going to send in a report to the state of MI. As of today, that has NOT happened. Evidently, they are staying in contact with MI to see when that report comes through.
3) Maybe more people need to contact them and ask for a follow up story…
Rick, truly good to hear from you above, can relate to everything you said and I want to repeat it, but would waste the reader’s time by writing it again. (this whole blog won’t even fit on my iphone as it is…)
Don’t know where to begin and surely won’t be as eloquent as some (Dan and Dave, your posts are sweet – shivers down the back; like big brothers and a huge influence). I am a former MK 1971-1981 and lived in Chittagong like Tamara (hey Barricks, you stole my house ! :))
I am terribly sorry for the wolf and the repulsive character you girls knew him as. Although I don’t know Diana or her sister, I love you in the Lord and find myself in agreement with what you say in all these posts – actually did an all-nighter and multiple late, late nights (2:30 – 3am) as I’m sure many of us have. Don’t tell my employer, but actually took sick day from all this – truthfully feeling sick next day from what I read.
Don’t know how your parents contained themselves and had any grace whatsoever. I have a 14 yr old daughter and I’m pretty sure there would be some other cover-ups to deal with had it been me. Unbelievable how you had to go about getting the attention of ABWE, and how they only will take action when the imminent demise of the entire organization is at stake. I continue to wonder, is someone working the State of Michigan – or are they closed to taking action? What is currently being done about him? One of my childhood friends is from Allendale and said they used to go to him as their doctor! I warned them recently.
Mike Eleveld was my pastor until beginning a new ministry as a missionary last year. We loved his ministry enough to return to Berean after moving away for 5 years. I have the utmost respect for Mike and can tell you that he NEVER would have let this go unmentioned (with his own daughters and all…)
I ditto the GOOD memories spoken of above by Diana and Rick about experiences as an MK. I likewise loved my childhood in BD and believe God raised me there to have a true appreciation of how we have been blessed as Americans. I SUPPORT THIS BLOG!
If there is anything I can do to support, you have my word – I will do it. The one weird thing that never settled well with me was how Shelly Fiddler disappeared from the scene as one of us fellow MKs. I remember her visiting our house in Jenison, MI and then she was gone. I hope if she reads this, she will know that all her brothers and sisters from BD truly would love to see her come back and want her to asap. It is like a broken part of the MK family and it would be great to see her again!
Can’t wait for some investigative action to take place on the ABWE homefront. I have always been a huge backer and proud to say that my parent’s mission agency was the Association of Baptists for World Evangelism whenever traveling across the midwest visiting churches or asked by local church members who I was with in BD. Never did I know I would have a complete reversal of opinion to the point where these delays in action have made my stomach just sick. The beaurocracy is just absurd – like someone mentioned – how fast they pulled together a meeting with the vicitim and arranged for a trip around the world, yet how slow to react when their own issue.
Enough. Mike
Thank you Michael for your words of encouragement to Diane and me and to those that are struggling to make sense of all this. I had know idea you knew Michelle Fidler! Diane has been doing an incredible job of trying to track her down and we are close. Keep praying.
Rev and Mrs Eleveld, I don’t think I have ever met you,but Shelly/Michells Fidler was a special childhood friend. I just wanted to say Thank you for your pastors heart toward her and all of us. Lord willing Shelly will be home soon! I’m so sorry you never knew the truth! God bless you!
I want to express my deepest concern and prayers for the innocent young victims of this heinous crime. I know a little of pain after a careless driver killed my daughter and wife. (Through Tears to Triumph)
Your blog’s purpose, I trust, is to bring healing, love, support, encouragement, and closure to the victims of this hideous crime. This is very commendable. I trust you succeed. I hope that the blog zeros in on this important issue only.
Unfortunately, the healing you speak of requires action by ABWE, and over 22 years of biblically confronting them in private did not achieve any level of success in reconciliation and understanding at all, which is necessary at this point.
So this blogs purpose is twofold, as you can read in Susannah’s brave statement that started it all. We are not just outing a pedophile, we are also bringing to light the ways that ABWE has failed their missionaries and their MKs by lack of action in this particular matter. If other failures are brought to light along the way, it can only be for the greater good of the organization, when all is said and done. Because if there is sin, there is sin, and it must be removed, or God’s work will not be accomplished as fully as it could be.
Please don’t take my response as anything but a gentle explanation of why we are here, so there is no confusion on that point. Your post seems to indicate that you are not pleased with the blog discussing ABWE, and yet ABWE’s leadership is at the heart of this. I say that with gentleness and respect for you.
I am seeking for ABWE to make this right, and the only reason they finally confessed to the things they confessed to was because of the pressure put on them by churches and families and missionaries and everyday Christians reading this blog and finally being given information they should have had long ago.
This blog has been used by God, and will continue to be used by God to shed light into darkness and lies. There will be mistakes along the way. People offended, who we do not mean to offend. People hurt, who we do not mean to hurt.
But when all is said and done, many will say, thank God there were a few people who could not be frightened into a corner, and who dared to keep plugging away at their keyboards when people accused them of gossip and slander. Because they knew the truth. They sought justice through the help of the body of Christ, rather than first going to the media. They sought justice through many witnesses rather than first going to a court of law. Those may be our only options left if ABWE does not act on its confession.
We are trying–Lord knows we are trying–to watch our tone. Please know this is a gentle explanation of our purpose, and not a loud or angry defense meant to attack you or anyone else who feels as you do. It is a gentle but firm explanation of why we continue to speak up and continue to pressure ABWE.
Very well said, and I am 100% behind you. — or beside you if that’s better?
“Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. “(Ephesians 5:11-13)
These women are acting righteously to expose sin. DK sinned. Russ Ebersole and Russ Lloyd sinned. ABWE leadership has sinned. The ripples from these sins have spread through the pond. Anyone who knew about these sins and did nothing is complicit in the sin. As leadership continues to hide the deeds of darkness, sin is compounded on sin. Even now, leadership continues to sin. Repentance turns from the darkness and comes into the light, walking in the light.
“The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. ” 1 John 2:10
It is possible that these women are motivated by bitterness and revenge, a desire to destroy ABWE. I don’t see that. I see women whose actions are motivated by the just love of God. They are calling ABWE to leave the darkness and come into the light. They are shining light on a cancer, pleading with ABWE to do surgery. Only then can ABWE be restored to full health.
This situation needs to take 2 tracks…one of an investigation and healing for the victims, and one of justice and accountability for Donn Ketcham. ABWE, you NEED to file reports or at least a statement with Michigan! Has his current church been contacted by ABWE as it looks he is fairly new there per the newsletter dated October of 2010?
…and I forgot to say that justice and a perpetrator’s accountability is healing for victims…but I know you girls know it would be.
I need to say that achieving justice and a perpetrator’s accountability will not in itself bring healing. Also, healing can occur whether justice ever occurs. My perpetrator (not DK) has not been brought to justice. If I ever decide to fight for that, it will be to protect others. — In this fight, of which I am not a victim, my thought is that there are two major goals. One is to expose DK so that he won’t be able to harm anyone else during his life. Two is to change the unhealthy and ungodly dynamics at the mission that allowed such a thing to occur, so that such a thing will never occur again. Not only pedophiles, but any sin in the camp.
I know that I have contacted the church, and others have as well. As a result the newletter that you refer to has been pulled off their website. I don’t know what else their church has done, but I urged them strongly to be transparent with their flock, calling the sin what it is, which gives others who he might have had opportunity to abuse (let me repeat – his age is not a factor. It certainly wasn’t for my mid-70’s father-in-law who abused my 3 daughters) to come forward and be served by the church. I also urged that they contact G.R.A.C.E. for help in handling it. In our own situation, it was very difficult for our church. They really were afraid in making mistakes, and so at times we felt very isolated. If you attend this church ask your elders what is being done. Hopefully they will be honest.
Light, if permitted, shines 360 degrees. Restricting it to any one area would not honor the Lord. If there is nothing else to expose then shining the light everywhere should not be a problem.
The world will be watching, they (ABWE’s leaders) need to get this right. “Let your light so shine…that they may see…and glorify your Father.”
The church members of his church were given a letter last Sunday. In it is the sentence “please pray for the elders, as they will need to make a determination, according to our policy, regarding the POSSIBILITY AND EXTENT OF DONN’S INVOLVEMENT IN OUR CHURCH’S MINISTRIES.” No mention made of not allowing him to attend, or church discipline…yet.
has anyone from home office tried to contact any of the victims recently? I know there was a mention of that from somebody (maybe Sussanah?) last week, but she said she didn’t feel able to talk to the person. Any other attempts? I pray that while it feels like waisting time to some, that those on the board are praying and trying to avoid the mistakes of acting too quickly. I would have to imagine if those involved back in 89 had slowed down a second and maybe involved more people the whole situation would have been handled differently.
Praying for the Lord’s guidance for everyone as they proceed to deal with this.
Totally agree. Hope time makes for better decisions.
But it’s unfair to the victims to not allow them knowledge of what individuals are deciding these matters. No Bangladesh MKs are on the commision. Is that fair? Its unfair to not give a deadline so victims can breathe a little and say, okay, on THIS day, we will know what direction our fate takes.
To those who say, “Stop complaining,” I say … walk in our shoes and then tell us to trust an organization that has never shown us in THIS MATTER that their trustworthy.
This morning I called Wood TV 8 to inquire about a follow-up on their original story. The news department told me the ABWE response was included in their original story and they are in the process of talking about and deciding what their next step should be.
When I worked at St Mary’s Hospital in the early 1970’s I knew DK and thought DK was a surgeon. When did he switch to Family Practice-in BD or when he got back to the US?
My wife and I appreciate the courage of these women. I also appreciate Steve Kelley’s courageous post (he’s the one who sent me the link). As you can well attest, it takes a lot of guts to stand up to authorities to do what’s right. I have a good friend who was abused by a Catholic priest and as of 2011 has yet to come forward. I’m a Pediatrician and can attest to the difficulty that victims have in going public.
I am also a Bangladesh MK. My parents served not with ABWE, but with International Christian Fellowship, leaving to work in the home office in 1981. My older brother was delivered by DK in 1972. My parents knew DK in passing and have been as sickened as we have been by everything-the abuse, the cover-up.
In early March, 2011, my wife and I completed 2 years of service at MCH, serving through a different mission. It was a life-changing experience for us and our 4 children. But wow, it is a tough field- hard on women, hard on families, hard on everyone trying to reach the lost with the Gospel. I commend those who are currently faithfully serving at MCH, most of them I’m assuming unaware of all that transpired. I agree with Steve that in addition to all of the requisite struggles, there did seem to be a sure and pervasive drag on ministry and life on the compound, hard to put a finger on – until now. It is good to see this all coming to daylight, although a shame it had to be “forced” on the administration rather than coming from within.
I’ve only had a chance to read about 10% or less of the posts but it seems pretty much everything I would have said has been said… along with a lot of soapboxing on unrelated issues, crazy statements by a few who obviously have no clue what impact abuse has, etc. Thanks again- keep up the good work and we’ll be in prayer along with everyone else for transparency, humility, justice, forgiveness, healing and grace.
In His service,
SW
PS: Incidentally, I did hear Phil Walsh’s name occasionally while at MCH (I have to say, not always in a positive light). I would love to hear from him sometime.
Saddened and Angry:
Here’s how it works at the Malumghat Christian Hospital. If you are a doctor, you do what needs done. If you are an obgyn you deliver the babies but you also might need to remove a tumor from someone’s leg too. Rarely more than one or two doctors at a time on staff and one of the only hospitals for hours and hours around. So someone’s specialty is really not relevant.
Medical blog #2 (note: medical blog #1 was 3-30, 2:22 am)
We have already established that doing breast exams and teaching breast self exams to an early teenager is not standard medical practice. Because the women who felt violated in this regard have not been heard (or even asked) for 22 years, it is important to give them a voice. They need to know their complaints are valid, and that they are believed. We are collecting their remembrances in order to get a picture of what they felt was not right. Here are some of their own words (and we are striving to be appropriate in what/how we share.) These women deserve a hearing after 22 years of imposed silence.
9th Grader
“I remember a breast exam…9th grade. It went on and on and on and on. Now that I know how it is done, I know that it was inappropriate. He kept going back over each breast saying things like, “You do a breast exam like this….blah, blah, blah…..and not like this….blah, blah, blah…..but you should do it like this….blah, blah, blah….” I remember thinking, “Okay! Okay! I got it!” because I just wanted my shirt back on. I was a larger chested girl. I do not remember if both breasts were exposed at the same time or not. The doctor was Donn Ketcham. I do not remember if anyone else was in the room or not “
Highschooler
“I think that DK did the majority of our physicals. I know I saw other Drs for other stuff etc…but not for physicals, for the most part. My mom says she was almost always in the room, but for some reason I remember times when she WAS NOT there. Not sure if these were separate occasions where he was able to get me alone, or if I just “blocked out” my mom because of what was being done. I remember being naked except underwear, but in a gown that tied in the front. I often remember my underwear around my ankles. I remember breast exams that went on forever, but was too young to realize what was going on. . I do want to add that even when my mom was in the room, he often stood between my mom and me, and would still manage to do very inappropriate things with his hands, and, of course, my mother could not see what was happening! “
Mother: (previously blogged, not same family)
DK had a way of pulling off his abuse almost in front of your eyes, which somehow took away some of his guilt perhaps-after all, you saw what he was doing and didn’t say anything . Example: examining the girls in presence of the mother like (a mother) mentioned. That also happened with our oldest daughter. He was already preparing to give her physical when I came into the exam room-no nurse present. I also remember the breast exam, he says”it’s never too young to learn to self-exam for lumps, etc.”-I think she was 15 or 16.
Another mother (previously blogged)
I always went with my girls when they had exams with any doctor. The last exam was different and I was so uncomfortable. We had a nurse in the room also. But DK went on and on about a breast exam and explained to me that he liked to explain to them what he was doing and why. I know what an exam is like and this one was so long. After he left I whispered to the nurse asking her if she thought it was a little overdone and right. She said she didn’t notice. I did and I was uncomfortable. I will never forget it.
These notes highlight a practice that many doctors would consider to be akin to medical molestation.
Note to victims (and we are trying to contact all possible victims—22 years late!):
If you have distinct memories of feeling violated during medical treatment, and want to share them, write your story and send it to your contact MK, who will forward it to Drs. DeCook and Stagg.. (note: all potential victims are in touch with one of 4 contact MKs-you know who yours is. If you don’t know who your contact MK is, write a memo at the bottom of blog site to the moderator of this blog , and request: DO NOT POST,BUT PASS my email address on to Cindy Adolph Smith, Cindy will get you connected with one of the 4 contact MKs. )
Dr. DeCook,
Thank you for being a doctor who can be trusted.
This past Tuesday night, April 5, God used the ministry of Chris Tomlin in a powerful way in my life. Little did I know, months ago when we purchased the concert tickets, that God would have me in this particular place in life…being a voice for the wounded and hurting…crying out for my own pain and that of my family…and begging God to uphold our integrity in this spiritual battle.
But God knew.
He knew I would need Him to be very, very present that night, April 5. He knew that I would need His arms of love wrapped around me in a supernatural way that very night. He knew that the words Chris sang (songs like: Jesus Messiah, And if Our God is for Us, I will Follow, No Chains on Me, Holy is the Lord, Amazing Grace, Indescribable, How Great is our God, Your Grace is Enough, etc.) would all speak to my heart in a very powerful, powerful way.
He knew it. He prepared the way. I came away loved and empowered. “And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us! And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?”
I know, I know….none of you are surprised I would choose THAT song. Believe me, I am laughing with you at the sheer obviousness that I would go with that one. =)
But do you want to know which song stuck out the most? The one that had me sobbing like a broken, hurting human being as I stood surrounded by thousands of people? The one that cut to the core – convicting me and encouraging me all at the same time? Well, I’ll share it with you in a minute.
Before I do, I want you to know that I share this song out of a firm belief that God has called me here – into my family’s life and into the involvement of this process – for “such a time as this”. There is no doubt in my mind that I am here to “save these people alive”! So, for the naysayers, or the gossips, or the bitter, or the hurting, or the worried, or the friends who think I should keep to myself and let my sister/family take care of their own business…to you I say this:
I already have, am still, and will again make mistakes along this journey. I will blow it. I will be in the flesh. But – I will also hit a home run from time to time. I will get it right. I will be teachable and grow. I will love and I will forgive.
But this I promise: I will not give up! This is right. This is truth. I may not be a hero to most of you, but to one special, special girl who was horribly molested and victimized for the next 22 years, I am a hero. For that reason alone I will continue to stand on this side of the battle. I wish there were no battle lines. I sincerely do. But there are and since I have to choose, I choose to represent her.
Now – that song I was telling you about. It broke me into a big, puddled mess because it truly represents my heart and the hearts of those I stand with. I can say that with complete confidence. We are crying out to GOD, desiring The Healer to do His work. We have known His unfailing mercy and love. We, the weak, have hidden in his fortressing arms. We simply are lifting our hands, crying out to our Faithful God…Who has NEVER let us down. Please respect me, my family, and my friends enough to listen to this beautiful song. Please listen and hear our cries, our prayers.
My favorite line: His arm, a fortress for the weak.
Remember how we were taught to be “Jesus with skin on”? Whose famous sermon was that anyway? Here on earth, we have the opportunity to be fortresses for the weak, to be His arms. To fight for the weak when they have no fight left because the wounds are so deep.
I say with gentleness and respect, that I have made mistakes in this journey. But like Diana, I remain teachable.
I also remain firm in my convictions.
What many fail to see is that we stand together now and stand up for the girl who MAY have paid the highest price, if the price could be measured, because as our faith in God has grown and developed we have been convicted, I have been convicted. And that conviction is this: God is not pleased with the hiding of sins. God is not pleased with blaming a child for a grown man’s perversion, God is not pleased by a culture of silence and secrecy. We must be transparent.
On this blog, we have had to be transparent, and so we risk much. But we would not do this without the hand of God pushing us forward.
We will remain in forward motion. We will remain.
Music like this is a healing balm for the soul. It is also the encouragement we need to obey the call. Another great new song is Chris Tomlin’s is “I Will Follow.” We need to be willing to obey, at all times and at all cost. You must continue to follow Him, all the way to the end!
Almost daily I visit this site to “catch up”. This story is the heartbreak of my dear friend and her family, therefore it is to some degree, our heartbreak too. It is incredible that there are in excess of 750 posts on this site in just a few short weeks. Some of you are single “posters” and some are regular contributors, but all of you are so brave!
It is heartbreaking the crimes committed against the girls by Donn Ketcham. Those girls who have already come forward and shared are braver than most of us can ever hope to be. I know how hard it is to face wrongs I have done and that have been done to me, but I still hide and cower in fear when the prospect of my “hurts” have the potential of coming to the surface. It is incredibly difficult to have your private hurts become public knowledge.
I applaud the tenacity mixed with humilty and transparency displayed by all of those involved in leading this battle. This will most likely get more difficult before it gets better, but do not give up! You are braver than most and we are priviledged to be witnesses of your courageous battle!
“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly, even when you are scared to death.”-Omar Bradley
Dear Victims,
As a pastor I have had the privilege to visit and minister on the field in BD five times over these past six years. I have prayed for the field since my days at BBC after seeing the “Before eatin’, pray for the Eatons” stickers all around campus! 🙂 It has been such a privilege to visit to see what the Lord has done over these past 50 years.
What shock and dismay I have felt in reading this blog. Ever since being alerted to it by a Bengali pastor friend, my heart has just been sick to think that Satan has had a stronghold for so long.
As a local church pastor I have been in contact with the home office urging them to use GRACE as a third party investigative arm. I am fully in support of that. I have urged them to make this right after so many years of covering it up.
The reason I have finally chosen to write is because in preparing my message for Sunday night from Malachi 3:16-18 I found something that might help. In the passage the Lord says He has a book of remembrance. God hears and listens as we seek to encourage each other. This was the remnant, the few, the minority who got together to lift one another up. When that is done, God hears. So, I was thinking of how God is hearing this blog. He hears the words of encouragement to the victims. He hears our calls for justice and grace. He listens to our heart.
Psalm 56:8 says, “You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” May I encourage you by the fact that God has heard your cries, saw your tears, and has known your way for all these years. I’m sure some, if not all, of you have suffered alone, cried and wept alone, and wondered if anyone cared. In all that time, He did hear and He did see. He has it written in His book of remembrance.
Now, more of us know. More of us can lift you before our Heavenly Father who cares more than we can. Though I have never met any of you, yours names are so familiar to me. They are names I have heard over all these years. You can be sure that my heart breaks for you and my eyes weep for you.
May the leadership of ABWE do the right thing by the Lord and by you. And, may the “God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation…” be that for you.
Praying for you all,
Roger G. McCarty, Pastor
I read the story of Ananias and Sapphira yesterday. Then I retold it to my children at bedtime. My 3, 4 and 8 year olds wanted to know why Ananias and Sapphira died. I explained that it was because God hates people lying and trying to keep something back for themselves, looking out for their own selfish interests, instead of doing all for the glory of God. They tried to cover the truth. They were punished severely. Why? God’s holiness is that serious. Ananias and Sapphira wanted the glory of doing something for God, the credit for it and were not only stealing money from God and His work, but also stealing the glory from God. When things were set right, and justice was served, God was glorified. Sapphira knew exactly what Ananias had done, came in to the apostles and covered for him. She was part of the “cover-up”. (Except he didn’t need her help, he was already dead.) Notice that they both were punished equally. After they were punished a great fear came over the church. Fear of what? Fear of sinning in like manner and facing the wrath of God! A healthy fear that drives us to live holy lives. Does anybody see any connections to the topic at hand?
Thank you for that story…it resonates with me, for sure.
As a child I never could understand how God could be so cruel. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, right? But I have grown in my understanding, most importantly – how I don’t deserve any amount of grace that He so freely gives.
My husband and I have talked at length about this issue – the fear of God that is missing from our churches these days. Because we “cover up” (even because of good intentions or pure motives to save the sinner from unnecessary shame) we don’t tell the story of who God really is or what His character demands. It is sad because knowing who God is and what His character demands makes the gift of His Son all the more beautiful! I am ashamed that He had to die on my behalf but I am thankful that He did.
We must tell and demonstrate to our children that God hates sin. We have so “protected” ourselves and others that now there is no fear of shame anymore. Proper shame is cleansing – God created us with the ability to be ashamed and it is healthy to have proper shame. Shame helps us develop a healthy fear of a holy God.
Thank you Dr. DeCook for encouraging these girls to reach out and make contact. Some need a private way to communicate. Missed opportunity for ABWE who should have already notified all girls on the field with DK. Please girls contact someone and let them help you.
Thank you to the one who started this blog. I have been convicted to pray for my church. I walked around Calvary several times praying this week. Praying for protection and for wisdom of leadership when problems arise. Last week I went to Cornerstone University and did same. I prayed for the MK’s I knew then and ones who went on to become missionaries. If I lived closer to ABWE, I would be walking around there praying too. Instead I pray from home. Last, but far from least, I pray for all those hurt by DK. To my friend…I love you.
This is my prayer tonight.
(Like Diana, I enjoy Chris Tomlin music. It speaks to me.)
God, You have done great things
God, You give grace to the weak
(Think of how far we’ve come these last 3 weeks.)
And bless the brokenhearted
With a song of praise to sing…
You’re the FAITHFUL ONE
When the world’s falling apart
Let your mercy rain
Let your mercy rain on us….
God, please, in your mercy, bring peace and comfort to the hurting tonight. Give us hope. Fill us with Hope, a HOPE that won’t disappoint us.
Looking ahead. I look forward to the day I can sing this with my MK Sisters…
(I feel like I can hear the saints and angels already humming.)
(When the WHOLE TRUTH is known, chains will start falling off.)
My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, My Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing Grace.
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures…
This is my prayer for the MK sisters- may they feel God’s mercy pouring over them tonight, may they know that God hears their cries in the night when those who should have listened have turned away, and may they feel God’s love as a blanket of protection around them in the face of the abuse they have suffered.
To the victims and their friends and families, I have no right to say anything to you. Though I and my husband serve with ABWE, I have not had the privilege of knowing any of you who have been and are directly affected. So please feel free not to post this as it doesn’t really add anything to what has been said, but this is the only avenue for me to express my high regard for you:
Hardly a day has gone by since I first learned of this matter that I haven’t cried out to God on behalf of all of you that have been devastated by this one man’s sin. I have prayed for you in my church and in my ladies Bible study. I am telling your story that more and more people can cry out on your behalf for justice. I stand with you in your desire for a third party investigation and entreat ABWE to choose GRACE. I am so awed by your willingness to even give ABWE another chance. I sincerely believe that God will receive much glory by the hard work you are doing for something that you should have been freely given—a voice, the truth.
I commend and admire your courage and boldness. I am grateful that you won’t be silenced. I believe that God will honor your tenacity and desire for truth. I am astounded by your patience with and graciousness toward those who don’t understand and speak without wisdom or kindness. I weep along with you for all the silent victims, for those who have not heard your story and believe themselves to be alone. I am so sorry for what happened to you and your families. I am also sorry that you had to face a public forum in order to see justice. It is laughable to think that you would have endured this for any other purpose that what you have stated and I am offended on your behalf when others imply otherwise.
Having recently studied the following verses in the context of ladies Bible study, they are the ones that I am praying on your behalf. I believe that God is proclaiming freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners and comforting those who mourn. I know that He is making you courageous women (and men) of this blog “a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor.” I also trust that because of your stand that the ancient ruins will be rebuilt and the places long devastated will be restored. And I pray on your behalf for your day of justice from our holy God.
I commend you for your willingness to be used of God to bring the dark deeds to light so that the power of God can dispel the darkness.
Isaiah 61:1-4
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Nicole, your words and the verses you shared are encouraging to me tonight.
And I am thinking of all the families who have had an absolutely gut-wrenching three weeks of revelations. So much pain and hurt in our families. Inflicted by a man. Inflicted by secrets. Inflicted by failure and fear.
Isaiah 58 is probably my favorite passage lately. Even the part about how mad the people were that God wasn’t impressed with their hard work and their fasting. Because after He tells them their worship has been useless, He says, “This is the kind of fasting I want: free those who are wrongly imprisoned…let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.”(vs 6)
As each person has come forward with their pain and hurt, another chain has been broken.
And my favorite part, and I KNOW it’s true because I have seen it in my own life is this: “Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and you wounds will quickly heal.” (vs 8 ) and finally, “some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes.”
I am praying that God will give us all forbearance, strength, patience and endurance to carefully mend the cracks and restore our families.
I too applaud your efforts and the humility which you have shown in this long and painful process.
I reread the initial posting and some of these latest ones, and was reminded once again of the two-fold focus of this blog. Both DK AND ABWE need to be held accountable for their sins and for covering them up. You have every right, AND, I believe, a responsibility to carry this through to the end.
Remember the story of David? David was the king, yet he had his secret sins and tried desperately to cover them up, even to the point of sending a man to the front lines to be killed. Nathan was sent to him to confront him. Who was Nathan? He was a prophet – one that was not mentioned before or after 2 Samuel 12. What was Nathan’s goal? To destroy David? No, the goal was to confront David and call him to repentance and restoration. The end result was exactly this. David repented, suffered the consequences of his sin for a time (the child who was conceived in sin died) and eventually he was restored to complete fellowship with God. It must have been difficult for Nathan, just a lowly prophet, to confront the king, the most powerful man in the land. In the end, God’s mercy and grace won out and David was restored. It looks to me like all of you MK’s have been called on to follow in Nathan’s steps, if only for this moment in time. I want to encourage you to keep up the good work and complete the task God has called you to perform.
Though I am not close to them, I do know some of the BD MK’s personally, having gone to school with them and being a member of churches who supported their families. Beyond that, I too was a missionary, for a time (25+ years). Unlike mk’s who are taken to the mission field because they accompany their parents, I went to the mission field because I was called by God to do so. I studied missions under the teaching of some of the best missions professors in the country. Missions was exciting. I couldn’t wait to choose a mission board and get to the field. I never dreamed that the face of missions would change so drastically from what we studied then.
We did a lot of research before choosing our mission board. We were taught that mission boards exist to serve the local churches and the missionaries sent out by the local churches. The boards’ job is to assist the churches in getting their (the churches’) missionaries to the field, representing them while they are there, and facilitating their work whenever possible. We chose a board that we felt would best serve our family and our church. We would never have chosen a board that we suspected would blatantly cover up the sins of its chosen sons.
While it is true that we are all imperfect, we all make mistakes, we are all sinners saved by grace, we trusted the men who led our mission. We believed they had been put into mission leadership because they had been proven to be godly men. We believed, and still believe, the mission leadership has a responsibility – before God and before the churches served by them – to do right, to stand for justice and truth, to protect and care for its missionaries. Mission leadership should be held accountable to uphold the Word of God, to be above reproach, to deal with sin in a Biblical manner, no matter who the offender is, no matter what it may “cost” them as a mission.
To this end, I encourage you, my sisters and brothers, to not “grow weary in well doing,” but to continue to follow Nathan’s example and not give up until you see repentance and restoration.
PS, in case it is of interest here, I spent some of my 25+ years on the mission field teaching mk’s. I loved them then and I love them today. Outside of classes we did things together, played “sardines” on the sandbars in the river, etc. I still have contact with many of them, on Facebook of course. I am proud of who they have become. One of my former students has recently published a book! If I ever found out that someone had abused them I would not hesitate to speak out.
Another item of interest. We no longer serve as missionaries (not officially, anyway). Not because we no longer wanted to, but because our questions and concerns about matters affecting our ministry on the field were not welcome and not wanted. Sometimes there is a high price to pay for speaking the truth. I would pay it again, and I would pay it for any of my former mk students.
God did not abandon us and He will not abandon you. Through everything we have grown closer to Him and have seen new and exciting ministry opportunities open up, even here in the US. Do what He asks you to do and He will do the rest!
Just to remind me what is at stake, I forced myself to reread the 14 year olds forced “confession” again. Shame on ABWE for using induced guilt to make her ask for God’s forgiveness for a crime committed against her that needed no forgiving. ABWE’s abuse of her young faith compounded the wounds from the sexual abuse she had already endured. God’s heart must have been broken as He watched her suffering at the hands of those who were supposed to be representing the cause of Christ to the world and should have been protecting her.
Still, I place my hope in the arms of my eternal loving Father, and pray that He will work in the hearts of the decision makers at ABWE. Their lack of integrity has not lessened my faith.
It hasn’t lessened my faith per se. However, it HAS revealed to me how much I still trust in man instead of God.
To all those concerned about Michelle Fidler. She contacted me. She said DK never hurt her. I just wanted to relay her words to you. She also asked that she not be contacted again. I did relay to her all the MK’s who’ve asked me to tell her they love her and are concerned.
Diane Eleveld – thank you for the update regarding Michelle Fidler. Its not the news I had hoped to hear, and yet it is news. Perhaps this is an entirely different story. I pray that God will protect her, provide for her, heal her wounds, and someday bring her back to her family and the community of MK’s. Steve DeCook
Just my thoughts on this whole blog.
I’ve read most of the posts and my heart cries out for those injured and abused. Young women should never have to endure something like this, and on a mission field – it’s inexcusable, terrible, wrong and horrid. Thank you for bringing this to a head – for pursuing justice.
Some of you I know, well knew back then anyway. I remember babysitting for Michele, Susanna and Kimberly during Field Counsel meetings. You girls had me wrapped around your little fingers and got away with anything you wanted.
As a male kid in BD, I had it made, I could go anywhere and do anything, anytime. I know it was different for you girls and for my sisters, but I have to admit I loved my time there. Riding motorcycles in the jungle, hunting, playing soccer and the great food in the villages, etc, etc. I don’t mean to take away from this important blog nor ever want to make light of the horrible things you girls endured.
I suspect some of these horrors hit much closer to home than I even want to think about. But, I believe that was handled individually and to her personal satisfaction, so I won’t dwell on it.
While my heart goes out to those I knew so well back when we were just kids, I applaud these, now women, and these blog moderators for their tenacity and determination to get some sort of justice. I cannot even imagine how you’ve had to live with these things over the past 30-40 years and cannot imagine how it must have affected your lives and loves.
I do want to ask everyone not to forget that there are other victims here. My dear Aunt Kitty, Becky, and David – how they must be suffering. Please don’t forget them in your prayers.
Also, as for the Russ’s – and trying to put myself in their shoes, they were dealing with a situation that had arisen, and yes, of course they were trying to mitigate the impact on the mission and confront and, if necessary, remove the perpetrator from the field. I really don’t think they had any inkling that this went so much further than this one instance. Maybe they should have done something more, asked more questions, but I believe their mandate at the time was to deal with ‘this’ issue. I’m not saying they were perfect by any means, and the child’s confession seems ridiculous, but 21 years ago was a different age and a different mentality than it is today. I’m not trying to make excuses, just to understand their mindset at the time. Forgive me if you feel I’m way off base here.
I don’t know all the history of when these issues were brought to the attention of ABWE in more recent years and I don’t know what the reception was, but obviously whenever and whatever it was, it was unacceptable to you girls, or this blog would never have been created. I see the response from them, contrite, asking for forgiveness, but so far, no real action.
I urge ABWE to open your hearts, open your doors and open your files to GRACE as these ladies have requested. I know you know, but your missionaries, your MK’s, your supporting churches, and many nationals on the fields – are all watching. Do it wrong at your own peril.
Good luck to you dear dear ladies,
Mark
I love these words, “I know you know, but your missionaries, your MK’s, your supporting churches, and many nationals on the fields – are all watching.” They remind me of a verse:
Heb. 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith . . . .”
Many people have wondered and debated about this great cloud if witnesses. Who are they? Where are they? Are they angels, the departed saints? Whoever they are, wherever they are, they are not the only cloud of witnesses watching today. There is an earthly cloud of witnesses watching and waiting for ABWE to fulfill the rest of the passage. We are watching you, longing for you to do the right thing, trusting in Jesus to forgive and restore, to perfect the work He has begun in you and in us.
Thanks for your post, Mark. I appreciate your candor and your honest memories. I’m sure the girls who grew up with you appreciate them too, truly.
As for the two Russes in this tale, I think that it would be much easier to let them off the hook if they were openly and publicly repentant for their part in that madness. The “we just didn’t know what we were doing” defense would go over a lot better if it were very public, included acknowledgment that they absolutely did the wrong things at nearly every turn of that escapade, and that they are deeply sorry for the damage they personally inflicted to the immediate family and victim and the ripple effect it had to the entire field by their ignorance and neglect. (And, no, I don’t believe those words are too strong. We are talking about either pure evil or pure ignorance, and I would assume that the reality is pure ignorance, of which these Russes should openly repent if they expect forgiveness. Yes, this would take a great deal of humility, but isn’t that what true Christian leadership demands?)
About the Russes – 100% totally agree
Dear ABWE Board Members,
I am a former missionary from Malumghat Hospital in Bangladesh (1970-1979).
I would like to strongly recommend that you vote to have ABWE work with G.R.A.C.E. to investigate and resolve and rectify (in so far as possible) the child abuse issues caused by Dr. Donn Ketcham. G.R.A.C.E. is an independent Christian organization with a good track record and the only one that satisfies all the victims. Anything less will be a waste of time, further injure the victims, and further sully the reputation of ABWE. The current inertia is already doing that.
Each person who votes should have read the entire blog…unlike the Obamacare vote that “you have to pass it to know what is in it”…this requires understanding it to cast an informed vote. Please count the number of victims and the number of their supporters who are “demanding” that the 3rd party be G.R.A.C.E.
Respectfully and prayerfully, Joyce DeCook, RN, BSN
Do any of you know other options that GRACE? I’m not aware of any valid options but that doesn’t say anything. So, who are the others ABWE might be considering? I suppose we will know on Monday. Still, I wonder who else is out there? I didn’t come up with anything on a Google search. (GRACE showed up)
I don’t know the other options the ABWE board appointed commission may be considering… but ABWE is an associate agency for the “Child Safety and Protection Network” (http://childsafetyprotectionnetwork.org/). I imagine they would consider them. Their web site states that New Tribes is also an associate agency.
While reading the G.R.A.C.E. report on the New Tribes Fanda school, (I figured I better read it closer so I could cite reasons to the ABWE board for choosing G.R.A.C.E.) I came across some info from the Fandaeagles or GRACE site… that G.R.A.C.E. is not their investigator for future investigations.
The post I am talking about is here:
http://fandaeagles.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&p=7460&sid=af7bc4b14a6bc1b637466835eaab4fbf and the entry was this week: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:46 pm
I am not sure what this all means. Maybe GRACE started it all and now as NTM they are moving forward for future stuff? I dont know. Perhaps the BD MK’s who are more familiar with GRACE can explain.
The bottom line is that the BD MK’s on this blog have repeatedly stated they trust GRACE and want someone they trust to do the investigation. That is a big deal…. to be able to trust the investigators. NTM did a little investigation and got about a 3% response from their MK’s. But when GRACE did it, there was over 50% response from questionaires sent out during the investigation. Obviously there was much more trust in GRACE than their own mission.
sorry this note isnt terribly organized, but it is what I came across yesterday. It is still my hope that the ABWE board appointed committee choose who the BD MK’s trust, which is GRACE.
Dear ABWE Board: As a former ABWE missionary doctor at Malumghat, Bangladesh, I am too well acquainted with this pedophile’s activities and resultant damage to many women. A 3 party investigation is imperative. G.R.A.C.E. has the credentials and the experience, and very importantly the TRUST of the victims. I strongly urge that you engage them as the 3rd party investigator.
Sincerely, In Christ,
Joseph L. DeCook, MD
My question is: Was Wendal Kempton the man in charged at ABWE when all of this was going on? I
Yes and no. He was not president for ALL that has happened.
Yes, Wendall Kempton was the president in 1989 when DK was first outed and then in the following years of cover up.
No, Michael Loftis was president when the MK’s shared their story at the 2002 reunion. He claims to have started an investigation but it was insufficient and incomplete. He was most definitely involved in part of the cover up as recently as 2005.
To me the term cover-up implies active and purposeful. Was this a cover-up, or is it more accurate to say that inaction didn’t uncover even in the face of that need?
“Cover-up” is an inflammatory term. Precision in word choice is valuable. The claim is that ABWE has withheld truth. I hope that this side is not going beyond truth. Neither one is helpful.
We do not know what was shared with Dr. Kempton. But a cover up is an effort or strategy of concealment, especially a planned effort to prevent something potentially scandalous from becoming public. It is concealment or attempted concealment of a mistake, crime, etc.
Examples:
Verb 1. cover up – hide from view or knowledge; “The President covered the fact that he bugged the offices in the White House”
cover
conceal, hide – prevent from being seen or discovered; “Muslim women hide their faces”; “hide the money”
hush up, sleek over, whitewash, gloss over – cover up a misdemeanor, fault, or error; “He tried to gloss over his mistakes”
This is why a third party investigation is so necessary. We need to know the whole truth.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
ABWE MK,
From my vantage point (which is clearly much closer to the situation than yours) and knowing what I know and what Dr. Loftis has known since very early on in his tenure as president…it has been indeed a cover-up. I chose my words carefully.
I think cover up is the right word. I would use sinfully covered up.
chiming in to my mom’s comments to ABWE today:
Dear ABWE Board:
As I am informed that the Board of ABWE is moving quickly toward a decision to use a third party to independently investigate the Donn Ketcham affair, and ABWE’s subsequent handling of that lengthy affair, I would like to add my voice.
I am an MK from Bangladesh, and many of the young women Donn molested were my friends and close acquaintances. I am not one of his victims directly, I would add for clarity. But with the exception of those victims or their direct families, I have as much at stake in the resolution and outcome of this as anyone.
Not only did I grow up there, I have done short-term trips to Bangladesh (and brought my wife and daughter with me on separate occasions); and I would welcome the chance to participate in that way again.
I am also a supporter and donor, to ABWE directly, but much more to multiple ABWE ministries world wide, individual ministries, and specific projects. Most recently, it has been to the Bangladesh Renewal project. I strongly believe in what God is doing in Bangladesh, thru the ministry of ABWE, as well as thru other mission organizations, and especially thru His church of national believers there.
I spent a significant amount of time reading the G.R.A.C.E. report that was assembled to address the New Tribes Mission sin/fiasco in Senegal. It was supplied to both NTM and the MK’s to whose rescue this third party organization had come. It was posted by the MK’s themselves, to disclose publicly what had occurred. (http://fandaeagles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Amended-GRACE-Report-on-NTM-Fanda-Amended-edition.pdf). It takes a significant amount of effort to read thru, as it is 62 pages long; but the exposure it provides to the G.R.A.C.E organization is substantial (and reassuring).
The G.R.A.C.E. organization is comprised to two former public prosecutors of child abuse, a seminary professor/teaching elder, a professional counselor/PhD, and a licensed clinical psychologist/PhD and published author Their expertise is broad. The report they generated is thoughtfully organized, highly detailed (and substantiated); and their insights lucid. They represent independence from the organization being investigated. They were very discreet with respect to the privacy of the victims. They were very blunt with respect to the sins committed, the damage it caused, and the failure of duty of those in positions of responsibility. They have great credibility because of these characteristics.
I don’t know who else is being considered; but this seems like a fairly small niche market for investigative organizations, and I would doubt that there can be many choices. GRACE represents a strong, Godly, ministry focused organization that has earned the trust of those it has worked for. It has certainly earned the respect and trust of the victims of the ABWE/MK scandal. If those with the most at stake almost unanimously support GRACE, then I urge you to consider this support strongly, and choose GRACE.
Daniel J DeCook, MD
Holland, MI
Yes. Dr. Loftis became president in March of 2001. Previous to that he had been ABWE’s executive director of Central and Eastern. Dr. Kempton was president from 1971-2001.
Just checking in to let all of you know that I am still praying for all of those involved. Some have expressed how they have read until late in the night, finding it hard to work, and even have missed work. That is how I have felt. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you to carry on. Your blog continues to be informative, respectful, and spiritually insightful. My heart continues to break for those of you whom I know. I continue to pray that ABWE will rise to the occasion with your request to hire GRACE. I’m also praying that churches associated with ABWE will take a very serious look at applying pressure to them for that end. Everyone associated with this needs to come clean and I do believe that the correct word here is being used. It is a cover-up! Nothing less.
One step forward (initial apology) and two big ol’ steps back…
Last week (and it is a new week now) I mentioned that the Powers That Be were not serious about this, that they were just sending messages down the mountain and handing it through the gate to these who cry out for justice…and here they are:
(These are legit and sent out from Loftis to churches, and another to missionaries) These people are not serious. These people want you to go away or sit down and be quiet. And this will continue until someone makes them stop. I fear that may be only with law enforcement, media, or lawyers…Clearly they are perfectly willing to stiff arm GRACE. Clearly they confuse “forgiveness” with “not receiving the consequences of their actions.”
From Loftis (letter 1):
Dear Pastor, church member and friend,
I write to you today with a heavy heart. Our mission is estranged from some of our own family members, former Missionary Kids (MKs), and we long to be reconciled to them. I am writing to ask you to pray. Please pray that these MKs will experience healing in areas where currently there is only hurt and disappointment; that God will open the pathways of honest communication; that He will lead us to reconciliation; and that we will have wisdom and humility as we seek this reconciliation.
This estrangement has its roots in the sinful actions of Dr. Donn Ketcham, a former ABWE missionary who molested some of these women when they were children living with their missionary parents in Bangladesh. These women have also been hurt by ABWE’s response to that molestation back in 1989 and in subsequent years. We have discovered much about their pain and anger regarding these circumstances through a blog they recently created.
At the center of the grievances identified on the blog is a claim that ABWE has intentionally and knowingly perpetrated a cover-up of Dr. Ketcham’s crimes. I do not believe that charge is true. However, I do feel that the facts must be established by an independent investigation.
I have asked the ABWE Board to identify an organization, independent of both ABWE and the MKs, which has expertise in investigating child abuse. It is my hope that an investigative organization will be appointed and announced next week by our Board. I hope and pray that this investigation will find the truth; and based on that solid foundation, we will be able to seek reconciliation with these beloved MKs.
Thank you for being a faithful supporter of ABWE missionaries. In addition to your prayers, I also request your patience. I ask for prudence in judging our actions or motives—as I believe an investigation will bring clarity to this situation. We await the final report, so we can respond to the findings with appropriate actions. I ask for your grace as we also attempt to respond lovingly today, tomorrow, and until we have reconciled with our family. Please believe it is our heart’s cry when we say that our greatest concern is to help these MKs.
Under the guidance and in the spirit of Hebrews 10:19-24 we are trusting God to lead us through this time of trouble in a way that brings glory to His name and help to His people. Thank you for your prayers and support of our entire ABWE family.
Hebrews 10:19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds.
Grateful for your partnership in the gospel,
Michael G. Loftis
President
ABWE International, Inc.
Clearly they are confused. Time to set them straight.
1. They know what needs to be done to be reconciled. He knows what you all need and want.
2. In the original apology, the word pedophile appeared so much I joked with someone it was like a drinking game…read it and take a drink! Please note, though, here they’re cleaning it up a bit. They’re calling it “sinful actions” now. So much cleaner that way. So much neater than the criminal terms would be, should be: gross sexual abuse of a child, child molesting, deviate sexual conduct.
3. These are not grievances. That is much too trivial. This is more than that. This is a community of believers seeking justice, seeking reconciliation by having laid out a clear path to what is needed. Re: a cover-up. Even if it’s not intentional or planned, what happened happened. Does anyone here believe, though they have the temerity to suggest, that they would have brought this forward on their own? No sir, it would have remained covered up by the living room rug, thought it’s getting harder I would guess, kind of like covering up an elephant with a burlap sack.
4. Well, it seems you all have identified an organization. An organization you have already confided in, you trust. But see, if they can put it off, can make you all agree to someone else, then maybe you will be a little less free, maybe it will be, what’s the legal term? MITIGATION.
5. Now your hearts concern is the MKs is, now that you have been called to the carpet, repeatedly. But you’ll only do it on your terms.
More to come in a second…
The differences between the nature and tone of the two letters is staggering. Thanks for pointing out some of the problems, Rebecca!
— Tamara
Okay, now I’m more mad than sad and not very hopeful! This letter is unbelievable and such a slap in the face to the MKs. It seems that the “blog” was his first hint that something was amiss! (must be a time warp between 1989 and 2011) I even feel a sense of disrespect when he mentions the “blog,” as if it’s not an appropriate form of communication. God help us all; I don’t see calm waters ahead.
He is from a different generation. (Mine, actually. I think he is about my age) Having a different view about blogs isn’t unlikely. Quite possible he views it as an inappropriate form to communicate these things.
Meanwhile, I was thinking how gathering victims together like this wouldn’t have been possible in a different generation. I think it is good. Used to be people went their life not knowing they aren’t alone. Especially MKs, who ended up scattered all over the world, not all still living in the same town.
I have also thought how far society has come (since 1800’s at least) in understanding abuse.
http://www.winmentalhealth.com/child_abuse_stories_mary_ellen.php
Here’s the second letter.
Again, please note that the Powers That Be are now longer using the proper term for DK’s behavior: pedophilia. Again, note that they wiggle out of the allegations of a coverup. This time, though, they put more of the blame on DK: we didn’t know, we thought he told us everything. In the journals posted above, however, you can see that they IMMEDIATELY suspected DK was lying. Why in the world would they think that a child molester would just come clean? Because they asked him to? Seriously, it defies logic. They made it clear from the get go that they valued his reputation and his familiy’s reputation over justice. They considered their own reputation over the protection of other minor children, over the safety of families and over the health and well-being of the family of God. Loftis may not have known about the blog till March, but he sure knew about the abuse and he sure knew nothing was being done about, at least not anything constructive. Some women got help in 2002, but the fact that you have multiple women coming forward with allegations that they darn well knew were credible and still no comprehensive investigation was completed, no one called the State of Michigan out of an abundance of caution for the women/children in his family practice, well, it is an absolute outrage.
In my work I have seen murderers cry big crocodile tears, child molestors beg for forgiveness before a judge hands down a sentence. Are they sorry? Repentant? Only God knows. But it doesn’t, nor should it, spare them the earthly consequences of their life-shattering sin. Is ABWE and its administration repentant? Only God knows? But true repentance is ALWAYS demonstrated by a turning away from the actions that characterized the sin. For them that sin was putting you all off, ignoring your cries for help and covering up the sin of another, whether willfully or by ommission. Either way, true repentance will only be revealed when they submit to you and your healing process by giving you what you need, not what they want.
Letter 2:
FROM LOFTIS TO MISSIONARIES (ACTIVE AND RETIRED)
Beloved Missionary Family:
Thank you for your faithful service for Jesus Christ and your prayers for us. We need them now more than ever.
Perhaps you are aware of reports about past incidents related to a former ABWE missionary, which I would like to address. On March 15, I was informed by our staff of a blog authored by an ABWE adult MK telling of her abuse by a former ABWE missionary doctor in Bangladesh, Dr. Donn Ketcham. Other MKs have joined the blog to share their own stories of abuse or suspected abuse by the same individual. The pain of these young women and their families is heart wrenching.
When the mission was first informed of a single accusation of sexual abuse in 1989, Donn Ketcham was immediately confronted by his administrator. He confessed to ABWE leaders his abuse of a minor along with other immoral relationships and was terminated by the ABWE Board. The Ketchams’ supporting churches were informed of his dismissal for moral failure. However, Donn Ketcham did not truthfully disclose the details of the moral failure to his sending church, although he had agreed to do so. Unfortunately, no report was filed at that time with authorities in the State of Michigan where he resided.
In 2002, at an MK retreat, Jo Beth and I were approached by several young women who shared their suspicions of abuse by Donn Ketcham. ABWE immediately offered to help these women, including providing financial assistance for counseling and other personal needs. I also made a request for an investigation into the matter. While nothing can wipe away what happened to these women, some women from the 2002 retreat have recently shared that they appreciated the counseling they received, funded by ABWE, and as a result have experienced healing in their lives.
Several other actions have been taken in recent days:· Our Board and Administration have issued a public apology to the young women and their families for the pain that has been caused by all of this.· On March 29, ABWE filed a report with the Michigan Bureau of Health Professionals. Their investigative division notified us that an investigation has been initiated based on our report.· On April 5, ABWE contacted the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (a child abuse crime-reporting entity).· Additionally, the Board will pursue an independent, third-party investigation to determine the extent of this abuse, ABWE’s handling of the matter, and a future course of action.· The Board has recently appointed a Commission to recommend an independent, third-party investigator. I am requesting that all ABWE personnel fully cooperate with the independent investigation.
At this time I do not believe there was an intentional cover-up by our administration in the past or the present. It is my prayer that an independent investigation will make that clear. I would ask for your patience for the investigation to be completed before you make any judgments in the matter. Once completed, the Board will review the investigator’s report for facts regarding the mission administration’s actions.
The most important response we can make together at this time is to pray. Pray for the young women who were terribly wronged by the actions of Donn Ketcham. Pray for God’s healing and blessing in their lives. Pray for Donn to confess his sin and ask forgiveness of those he has wronged. Pray for our mission leadership as we desire reconciliation with our adult MKs. Pray as we undergo a season of testing such as we have never known. Pray for wisdom for our Board as they will soon select an independent investigator.
Our Board and Administration are doing everything we can to work through this matter with integrity and compassion. Jo Beth and I are heartbroken for the pain and trauma this situation has brought about in the lives of our MKs and families.
I believe in the integrity of our current missionary field administrators. They are godly, committed men and women who have consistently and courageously confronted sin in our ranks whenever it became known. They continue to share in caring for our missionary family as well as communicating with our sending and supporting churches through this trial. They deserve your support and your prayers.
In the 84 years since ABWE was founded, our missionary family has lost both men and women to moral failure. All such sin is indefensible and inexcusable. Yet this is why we hold on to the gospel while still throbbing with the pain and destruction of sin. That destruction in our lives and that of others around the world is the very reason we continue to follow Christ’s command, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15)
The sins of one man and their shameful consequences are horrendous. Yet, they do not negate the decades of sacrifice and faithful gospel ministry of thousands of missionaries, churches, and local partners serving Christ around the world.
Jo Beth and I would love to visit personally with each of you about this matter; regrettably that is logistically impossible at the moment. Please remember that we are praying for you and ask that you do the same for the mission. We believe, along with our Board, leadership team, and staff, that God will bring ABWE through this more purified and better prepared to prevent and deal with such sin more effectively in the future. Please contact your field administrator with any questions you may have.
Kneeling with you at the foot of the cross,
Michael G. Loftis (President)
To all, sorry to ruin your peaceful Sunday. But outrage doesn’t seem to take a break these days. Go with God through this battle and I will be saying prayers for you all today while in the House of the Lord.
“Unfortunately, no report was filed…” -as if the reports file themselves! No responsibility taken!
just to clarify, the letter sent out does use the words “molested children” and I think we need to keep in mind, that although we are still waiting for the investigation and who knew what when, “a report was not filed” is an accurate statement. Dr Loftis was not responsible for filing that report back in 89. Someone should have, but hind sight is always 20/20 – why wasn’t a report filed in 2002, well maybe there is honesty to previous statements that they were advised that it would do nothing. I’m sure looking back Dr Loftis would like to have filed that report even if it did nothing 9 years ago, but how many of us would like to go back and undo past decisions.
Please don’t mistake my comments for being on his side or anything else. I was a little taken back the first time I read through the letters myself, but went back to carefully read them again and realized I missed some wording. I think the goal here is truth and healing in all of this and that is why I point out the wording above.
This is in response to “clarify”below. The letter to the pastors uses the word “molestation” once and “molested” once. Loftis refers to the victims as “women.” Now, that could be a slip on his part, referring to their current ages, or it could be, again, an attempt to minimize.
The letter to the missionaries does not use the word at all.
Just to clarify.
It would be powerful to see a picture of some of the MK girls in 1989 and a picture of Donn Ketcham in 1989. The age difference is staggering (8 to 14 year old children, and a 58 year old man). I agree with Rebecca that to use the word “women” of the victims could be minimizing the situation.
“molested some of these women when they were children living with their missionary parents in Bangladesh”. This seems pretty clear that it occurred while they were children, not really playing word games. I think the letter to missionaries also calls it sexual abuse of a child, or children, that’s not a very questionable term in my book.
My apologies for the typos. Computer and internet connection was a bit slow and well, it’s a bit late.
In response to “clarify”-
Dr. Loftis wasn’t personally responsible for filing the report in 1989, but he does represent the organization that did not file the report. I expected more accountability on his part for the organization. Something like, “ABWE regrets that it did not file a report.” His excuse is like a child saying, “Unfortunately, no homework was turned in.”
My mom, Pam Green, has posted here before, but has trouble with technology sometimes. She asked me to post the copy of the letter she sent to Loftis late last week, before the new letters came out.
I’ve been following the bangladeshmksspeak.com blog for several weeks now and am appalled at ABWE’s slow response, weak excuses and lack of Christian love in dealing with this situation. What a horrible example you have set for future generations of possible missionaries. So far your apologies, and writings have been hollow words. You have not put feet to your actions, just more stalling which is what it appears you did for the past 21 years. You should be ashamed of yourself. Please hire Grace to investigate, and do not hesitate another day. Clearly you do not believe “the truth shall set you free.” Your lack of action at this point can only be explained by trying to figure out how you are going to save yourselves, your jobs, your reputations, and your lack of actions.
Now that I have said that I want to tell you why I even have a vested interest in this. My father was a GARB pastor for many years, coming in early in the late 1940’s. R.T. Ketcham was in our home many times, and I was well acquainted with the Ketcham name. I grew up as a PK and during that time we had many missionaries in our home. In 1963 Dr Donn Ketcham came and held a week of meetings, a “spiritual Life conference”. During that time he stayed with us. That was prior to their leaving for their first term in BD. I graduated from high school in 1964, attended Grand Rapids Baptist College, graduating in 1968. Sometime early in 1969 I met Donn and Kit at a meeting. We reconnected, and a very close friendship ensued. I became as an older sibling for their children, and often stayed with Gram Katz while they were out on deputation, assisting with the children. Many of the MK’s were small children known to me as they came many times to their home. During that time I was also a student nurse at Mercy Central School of Nursing in Grand Rapids, where Donn was in his final years of residency in surgery.
This was a diploma school of nursing. I started my training in the fall of 1969. As was the practice in those days the student nurses were given a “big sister,” who was her mentor, friend, and in general helped her to adjust to the rigors of nursing school. Because I was older, 24 at the time, I was living in an apartment away from the hospital and was known as a “day student.” We had a suite of rooms in the nurses residence hall.
About two months into my first year, I was coming into the residence hall early one Monday morning. As I was arriving, my “big sister” was coming out of the directors office. She was clearly upset, eyes red, and she was packed up to leave. I was stunned, as I knew nothing. When I approached her to find out what had happened, she was going out the door for the last time. She would not share anything except to say, “Your Dr Ketcham is not the man you think he is.”
Throughout that day and the next, rumors went around that they had been caught together, “had an affair,” “it has gone on for some time.” I did not believe it, stood up for him, and tried to put it out of my mind. I never even asked Donn or confronted him in any manner or let him know that I knew. He never said a word, didn’t even ask “what happened to my big sister,” and he knew her well, because he was the one that introduced her to me earlier in the summer. That summer day I had brought my class of junior high Sunday School girls for a tour of the hospital at his urging. I ended up being the one that came as a student. He knew her, and I say to you I now believe he knew her well.
My problem is this. My guess is that this girl was expelled from Nursing School, and I just bet ABWE received a letter from them (Mercy Central School of Nursing) explaining what happened. This was a Catholic school, they didn’t approve and I know for a fact that they knew Donn was a missionary. I find it very hard to believe that they didn’t make you aware of it. After all they expelled a senior nursing student. This girls life was upset, possibly ruined. It would not have been easy to have gone to another diploma school of nursing at that point in her training and just continued. She may never have been allowed to fulfill her dream. What did you do about that in 1969? Did you tell Donn you knew? Why did you let him go back to the field? How could you have been so sloppy?
I believe that you will find somewhere in your archives some letter or note of a phone call that you received. Newhall Baptist where I attended in those years has also closed, as has my school of nursing. This happened to many diploma schools of nursing. I trust you haven’t shredded it and that it too will be passed on to Grace or the investigating agency. This has haunted me for many years. At the time I shrugged it off, continued my friendship with them for several years, until as time and circumstances sometimes does, we have drifted apart.
I’m also very connected to the 14 year old. My husband, and three daughters attended the sending church during the time that they were originally sent to BD. My girls and theirs were very close, and my mother taught the 14 year old piano. The girls were in an out of my home many times. To this day I maintain a friendship with her parents. I was not at the church during the 1989 incident and came back in 2002. It was at that time that once again I heard the rumor about Donn and his sexual behavior. I have been horrified to learn of the terrible way in which they have been treated, and most of all the absolutely horrific way their daughter was treated. She has been trapped emotionally on that airplane with two men who made her sign a confession. She was the victim and he was made out to be an equal partner in his sin. How could you have done that? This is why we have Child Protective Services. If the church isn’t going to protect children, then who is?
What is wrong with you people? Your lack of action, only hollow words makes a mockery of the God we love and try to serve each and every day. It is so easy for those in leadership to throw around the words, “God will heal,” “We need to forgive.” He heals when the truth is out. As Christians we need to be free to talk about the sin in our camps so that it doesn’t get repeated. The world holds us to a higher standard. It is compounded when we are made to be quiet and not talk.
I have the name of the student nurse. This is the name as I knew her then. I do not know if she married. Throughout the past couple of weeks I have tried to locate her via the inter-net unsuccessfully, but I am sure that possibly GRACE would have more success as they have more options available to them. I will be happy to share her name with Grace, and hopefully she may also receive some closure to what was probably also a very bad chapter in her life.
Please, please, please I ask you. Hire GRACE.
Honestly, respectfully, and prayerfully submitted,
Pam Green RN
We now know that G.R.A.C.E was hired, and probably your letter/plea as well as many others helped the ABWE Board see the necessity of this step.
Donn K was probably doing part time work during his year of furlough in 1969. He would have completed his surgical residency prior to going to Bangladesh in 1963. But he (and many other physician, my dad included) kept their skills up to date during their furlough year by working in local hospitals. I know a number of the staff surgeons in St Mary’s, Blodgett, Butterworth, Holland Hospital and others were Christians, and eager to help a medical mission work go forward. They did this by short-term work on their own. They also did this by welcoming in missionary docs to “scrub-assist” in cases. It afford those missionary extra income during that expensive furlough year, and it gave them much needed experience at the “new stuff.” I am not sure now they would have been so welcoming if they had any inkling of all the extracurricular activities Donn was up to.
Dear ABWE Board:
As former ABWE missionaries in Davao City, Philippines (1981-2003) we are appalled with this pedophile’s activities and damage to many women. Even more so, we have been puzzled by the cover up of the organization. We strongly urge you to choose G.R.A.C.E. as the 3rd party invetstigator. G.R.A.C.E. has the credentials and the experience, and most importantly the TRUST of the victims.
Throughout this time, we have been reminded of the book of Obadiah. Just to keep it brief, the enemies attacked Edom’s brotherJacob. The Edomites didn’t have all that much to be proud about. They were a small, relatively poor and insignificant nation. Yet what they could be proud about, they were – they lived in an area of great natural fortifications and strength, so they boasted in the clefts of the rock around them. They boasted in their natural defenses. They boasted in their wisdom. They boasted in their alliances and trusted in their allies – their confederacy, the men at peace with you (Obadiah 1:7). They thought that their alliances made them strong, and they were proud because of that strength.
In Obadiah (10-14) we see Why judgment is coming against Edom.
“For violence against your brother Jacob, shame shall cover you, and you shall be cut off forever. In the day that you stood on the other side; in the day that strangers carried captive his forces, when foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem; even you were as one of them. But you should not have gazed on the day of your brother in the day of his captivity; nor should you have rejoiced over the children of Judah in the day of their destruction; nor should you have spoken proudly in the day of distress. You should not have entered the gate of My people in the day of their calamity. Indeed, you should not have gazed on their affliction in the day of their calamity, nor laid hands on their substance in the day of their calamity. You should not have stood at the crossroads to cut off those among them who escaped; nor should you have delivered up those among them who remained in the day of distress.”
For your violence against your brother Jacob: The family lines of both Israel and Edom go back to a common ancestor – Isaac. Esau (Edom) was the brother of Jacob (Israel). This made Edom’s sin against Israel all the worse.
Some sins become worse depending on whom we sin against. It is sin to treat someone else badly; it is worse to treat a brother or sister in Jesus badly. It is sin to speak harshly to anyone; it is worse to speak harshly to your husband or wife.
1. First they did nothing
2. Then they rejoiced in their distress and calamity ( We do not believe this has been the attitude of ABWE towards the victims.
3. Then they took advantage of their vulnerable state (ie.making a 14 yr. old girl sign a confession, telling the field council to keep quiet because the mission would take care of it…which wasn’t done…in fact, it was covered up) The girl/girls/women were the victims NOT the guilty party.
4. Then they joined in the violence against God’s people (continual cover up by the mission, including the new administration because it was brought to their attention again in 2002)
The sobering truth about our pride is that God can bring us down anytime. He can shatter our proud deception and bring us low. We have been amazed at how arrogant the original response sounded. We have been astounded at the delay to deal with this once the information was made public by the victims speaking out. Once again, astonished at the arrogance of declaring a 3rd party investigation but of your choosing while keeping the process, members, other organizations all secret from the families involved. This is not only sin against these women but it is also criminal activity. It is a wrong that needs to be righted.
You are very fortunate that none of the major national media outlets have picked up on it yet.
Dr. Lee Roberson always said, “Everything rises or falls on Leadership.” What kind of leader/leaders are you? I pray that you are not the kind to continue such a massive cover up.
Respectfully submitted,
Jim & Pam Leffew
I don’t understand how Dr. Lofts can write to churches and say that ABWE has not “intentionally and knowingly perpetrated a cover-up of Dr. Ketcham’s crimes,” when the confession from the ABWE board and administration states, “It is obvious that our leadership was greatly concerned for sparing Donn Ketcham’s family any additional public disgrace, but such concern came at the high cost of ignoring the needs of the innocent MKs and others who had suffered at his hands. While it may be considered gracious by some to have handled it discreetly, it was not gracious or compassionate towards those who were sinned against by him. It was wrong, so very wrong. We failed you. We hurt you. We are ashamed. It seems incomprehensible to even suggest that you forgive us in light of all we know now; but we must ask, if you could find it in your hearts, to please, please forgive us.”
Doesn’t a “cover up” simply mean not revealing the truth, whatever the motives might be (whether it was the mission organization, the perpetrator, or his family)? Can’t a cover up occur through inaction (like allowing reports to never be filed – note the telling use of the passive voice, fellow language students) as well as wrong actions?
I don’t know the reasons behind Dr. Loftis’ letter to supporting churches, but it looks to me as if he were trying to present ABWE in the best light possible, which also seems like the impulse that a previous administration followed to create this mess in the first place. The apology and confession on the website was a much finer moment.
So. A couple more letters have been birthed up on that mountain. First of all you can bet your sweet bippy that GRACE won’t be the third party investigator. I find it almost laughable that “the ABWE Board will have the final say in the choice of the investigator”. It’s like if I was convicted of a crime and then told the Judge I would do the sentencing to myself…..and of course I’d pick the most lenient Judge also. Remember, ABWE Board, this is to be an IMPARTIAL investigation. That means you can’t have anyone with whom you have EVER had any dealings. I can just see all of you sitting there with the sweat running off your brows trying to figure out how to once again do damage control. Again you’re changing your terms from “pedophilia” to “moral failure”. Gluttony is moral failure. Dr Loftis, sir. Do you really think in your heart of hearts that there was no intended cover-up? And that a third-party investigator will be able to prove that? That tells me a couple of things. You have destroyed whatever you have there in the office that would shed light on the full story. Secondly, you’re forgetting about ALL the missionaries who were on the Bangldesh field at the time of the 1989 “incident” and I’m sure they recall being told “not to talk about it with your families or with each other”. Hmmm. Sounds like “covering it up to me”. And when I asked about what was happening as I was in the USA, I was not told….rather I was given the impression that there was an affair”. Withholding full disclosure = cover up, withholding truth. And why did the missionaries not tell their “uninvolved” children and why did the missionaries on the field not talk with one another….especially why were the missionaries not able to reach out and comfort the hurting girl and her family who were living next door to them? BECAUSE THE NATIONALS MIGHT FIND OUT, SUPPORTING CHURCHES MIGHT FIND OUT, …..maybe GOD would find out?? IT WAS BECAUSE THE FIELD REP TOLD THEM NOT TO SAY ANYTHING OR TALK ABOUT IT. This, my friends, is referred to in the legal world as a COVER UP….a preventing of the whole truth to be told. ABWE Board and Mr Loftis….you can split it and dice it however you want, but God is a God of justice and until you are willing to humble yourselves and call a spade a spade, I’m afraid that ABWE will fall into a pile of ashes. Before the world was created there existed Wisdom and Moral Consequences. (see Prov. 6?) I just don’t understand how you can give the impression that there was nothing done to withhold information or to perpetuate the impression that “everything had been taken care of as it pertained to Dr. Donn Ketcham. What about the other “moral failures” that took place PRIOR to 1989 and why weren’t those dealt with in the same manner as would have happened if Mr. John Doe, church planter, had been messing with women? What’s good for the goose is definitely good for the gander. Board, if you REALLY want to seem credible to the world, why didn’t you just send a copy of your “confession” letter to the churches with a cover letter that explains why you made that confession? And why was there no mention that the sexually molested girls had ALL requested a certain agency, ie, GRACE? My question to you is “WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF THE ORGANIZATION, G.R.A.C.E.?” I’m sure you have many important things to do, so it would seem to be a relief to you that this organization has already been researched by the victims and approved by the victims, thus sparing you hours of trouble and turmoil. But then, I’m sure you have your reasons. As a former ABWE missionary, I, up to this point, always had the highest regard for ABWE. Sorry to say, that is not the case now. Reading and watching this saga unfold has left me with more questions than answers. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that supporting ABWE in the future hangs in the balance until I see a GENUINE portrayal of the truth and a desire to meet the needs of these victims by an organization that they choose. This is NOT about you, ABWE Board and President Loftis. If you TRULY want the best for your “estranged family” then humble yourselves and give up some of your “power and prominence” and use GRACE whether or not it makes YOU feel comfortable. We have heard your words. Now let your actions match your words. FACTA NON VERBA
I am bothered by certain portions of Dr. Loftis’s letter.
1. When the mission was first informed of a single accusation of sexual abuse in 1989, Donn Ketcham was immediately confronted by his administrator. He confessed to ABWE leaders his abuse of a minor along with other immoral relationships and was terminated by the ABWE Board. Technically true. But the terms “single accusation of sexual abuse of a minor” is a crime now, and was a crime then, especially for a doctor—we can’t even touch our patients in a suggestive manner, let alone sexually assault them—and a 13 year old is not a consenting adult. And it is all the more egregious because he was a famous, spiritual giant gospel preaching missionary, a trusted “Uncle” doctor in a hostile jungle. And there were multiple sexual contacts with the victim, who was aged 12 at the start and 14 at the finish. The enormity of it all seems somehow to be missed. Dr. Loftis makes plain this was a “first informed of a single accusation” issue. Technically true– but sort of buries the fact that 3 years previously, Dr. K was caught in a very compromising relationship with a short term single missionary nurse on the field. Adultery was vigorously denied,, but 3 years later, under “pedophilia” pressure, adultery with the nurse was admitted. In all of this, the missionaries were fooled, ABWE was fooled. Does anybody think the Bengaiis were fooled?? They knew our every move. What a powerful example of overlooking gross immorality in spiritual leaders we have given them to follow!! The nurse was sent home from the field. Dr. K was “exiled” to Chittagong 60 miles to the north for a year, apparently as a slap on the wrist. What kind of a decision was that?? A contra-James 2:1 decision. Had he been properly disciplined then, the l989 scandal would have never happened.
2. He confessed to ABWE leaders his abuse of a minor along with other immoral relationships and was terminated by the ABWE Board. The Ketchams’ supporting churches were informed of his dismissal for moral failure (how about for “criminal sexual activity with a minor?” However, Donn Ketcham did not truthfully disclose the details of the moral failure to his sending church, although he had agreed to do so. After 25 years of his lying to the ABWE Board about his immoral status (see “confession”), did the board actually expect him to tell the truth to his supporting church?? Really?? Really???
3. Finally: “cover up.” That is a really strong word, implying intentional dishonesty in a criminal matter. How about us using a combination of different terms: try “inexcusably bad decision making, involving favoritism, many half truths, incredible naivete’ in believing the criminal, inexplicably bad judgement (2 men and a teen without parental consent or support), unconscionably incomplete follow up of other potential MK victims, woefully inept reporting to the supporting churches of the criminal nature of the affair, near total lack of understanding of what sexual molestation by a trusted uncle can do to the mind of a child or teenager—–oh, well, the list gets kind of long—anybody got a shorter definition? Or maybe can add to this one? I feel like I’ve missed some things.
One of the things that has been the most encouraging to me in reading all the posts is to see missionaries, both present and former, standing up and speaking out on behalf of the MK’s and their families and on behalf of other missionary families who have been hurt and/or mishandled along the way. I admire your courage and determination to be heard, no matter what the cost. Sadly, this kind of involvement is rare in other circles. People are too afraid to rock the boat so they take a passive approach. Praise God for those who are willing to be used to speak the truth in love, but speak it still!
Several have mode the point that an independent investigation was not only a good idea, but absolutely necessary. G.R.A.C.E has been recommended by many as the best to do just that. A number have commented also that there are deeper issues plaguing ABWE. These need to be addressed along with the driving purpose of getting answers for those that were abused and the appropriate responses (actions) for them. To summarize what has been stated very well by several, the DK crime handling, the Phil Walsh handling, and other non-BD ABWE missionary inputs are all related. I hope that through an independent investigation (GRACE, preferably) the findings will expose the fundamental problems and lead to a true spiritual awakening that will give our Lord the victory. I think that anything short of that will be hollow and insincere. Would that be any different from the DK confession admitting to only admitted sins?
There is an old saying about learning from history. It goes something like this:
“The only thing we learn from history is that we didn’t learn anything from history.”
Two historical figures who covered up their sins:
Achan (Joshua 7:1)
President Nixon
What happened to them? What was their end? What is the worst thing that could happen by coming clean? Nixon was disgraced and impeached, yet he didn’t even go to jail.
Achan was . . . well . . . discovered, disgraced, stoned, then burned. Do you/we really want to go there . . . ? Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Someone might find out? They already did . . . .
ABWE, you have a decision to make. This may be your last chance to make the right one. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us for our sins and purify us . . . .” People will believe your confessions only if they are backed up by actions (James 2). Please act on your confession while there is still time.
I am un-impressed with Dr. Loftis’ letters. He is dissembling . An earlier post by the board stated the DK could have been removed as early as 1975. Now he says that ABWE first learned of a single instance in 1989. There is a contradiction here. Both cannot be true.
It certainly seems that he is trying to cover the stench by spraying perfume rather than cleaning the house.
Who is in charge? Does Dr Loftis serve at the pleasure of the board or does the board serve at the pleasure of Dr. Loftis?
Continuing to pray for all of you today as ABWE makes their decision. Anything less than G.R.A.C.E. is failure at this point. You are all spiritual giants and true “defenders of the faith” in these difficult times. May God grant all of us grace in patience for this day.
Regarding the use of the terms Aunt and Uncle….the Bengalis hold those terms dear as well as the Aussies. Our kids used that term for the adult missionaries because they WERE dear to us…like family. Bangladesh was known to have one of the closest Field Councils in terms of getting along. Sure there were squabbles and misunderstandings…just like a family, but in general we had a very close bond. We still do today. And the MK’s still call us Aunt and Uncle. We love them.
Unlike the leadership of ABWE I am not vague, elusive, or politically correct in my communication. Tonight, I just heard about and read through every entry on this blog, and have 2 responses – 1 fleshly and the other an attempt at Godliness.
I am a Malumghat MK (and brother to some others who have already posted here) who also had the privilege of returning to Bangladesh to work at MCH during the years of 1989-1990. During that time, I was asked to help with some tutoring at the school. That tutoring was with the 14-year old girl who is one of the bravest people I know. At that time, I can remember sitting at the table with her over Spanish lessons and noticing a fear and pain which I couldn’t explain. At that time, there was also a lot of “hush, hush” going around the missionary circles and I was never given a straight answer as to why. Now, I know; and I am angry. Diana, if I had known what was happening at that point, I would have gone with your dad for a little personal encounter with you know who, and held him down so that your Dad could kick him you know where. There is no excuse for what happened to your sister or your family, and I can cry out with the Psalmist “Oh, that you would part the heavens and come down…”
Being a student of the scriptures; however, I also plead with Aunt Kit’s husband to follow the example of Mannasseh, King of Judah (I Chronicles 33), who repented of his many sins and tried to make restitution to those he was charged with protecting.
To ABWE, I echo the words spoken to Polycarp from heaven as he was set upon in the Roman coliseum, “Play the Man!!!”
To the victims, I say – What your brothers didn’t know we needed to do for you then, we want to do for you now. If you call, we will be there!
My vote? Dismissal, request for resignation or resignation of some administrators and board members immediately regardless of the level or degree of culpability, and then form a temporary transition team of new blood. This would allow hundreds of ABWE missionaries who serve righteously to minister without a black cloud over their heads or the skewed look given those ABWEers on furlough or retired. And the transition team would be more objective of any analysis coming from an investigation by an organization like GRACE. The corporate world withdraws their advertising when celebrities or sports figures have compromised its standards. Corporate heads resign or are dismissed to demonstrate that the buck did stop there. Then they seek to restore their image with new faces. ABWE should do no less, swiftly.
ABWE Missionary
I am not from the ABWE family but I was a Missionary Kid from Kenya and Tanzania and I was sexually abused as a child. I was brutally raped when I was about 12 years old by students my age at Arusha School in Tanzania. I was also bullied constantly at Rift Valley Academy. My abuse was nothing compared to the abuse by a respected and trusted adult. When making contact through the internet with my former classmates, the subject of sexual abuse came up and one of the chief bullies self righteously declared that he would like to send the abuser to Hell. I lost control and began to call him and others out on their bullying and also shared with graphic details the sexual abuse I had suffered. While there were some who showed compassion, most were angry with me for talking about these things. If I had been in control of my emotions I never would have opened up in such a public arena. It was extremely painful to have people who did not believe me, who acted as though I was a homosexual, and one person even quoted statistics that boys who are sexually abused grow up to be pedophiles. The most painful things people said were that I needed to forgive. People who know me know that I have forgiven all my abusers a long time ago including the people I called out publicly for bullying. I wanted to talk about my abuse because I wanted compassion and I hated living with a secret. Jesus tells us to forgive seventy time seven times and every time I think of my abuse I pray that God would show mercy and that my abusers would be saved.. But even though David was forgiven by God he still had to be accountable for his adultery, the cover up, and the murder.
To their credit the ABWE board has made a very specific confession. But frankly I found the begging for forgiveness unseemly. Forgiveness is not a right, it is a gift of grace. Those who have been abused can only forgive when Christ enables them to do so. When I read the maturity, grace and composure in their blogs, it is clear to me that they have already forgiven. Forgiveness is not a way of escaping accountability, especially when a crime has been covered up and not been reported to the authorities. I think it would have been better to to simply list your transgressions and say we are ready to face the consequences of our actions.
One of the things we learn as abused people is how to live with public shame. The “Old Rugged Cross” has a line “To the Old Rugged Cross I will ever be true, It’s shame and reproached GLADLY bear”. There is not greater fellowship with Christ than to share in His sufferings, and especially the suffering of shame for the sins of another. I tried to run away from that shame and I lived in defeat and misery. But them one day a heard a message that we must embrace the shame. The ABWE board and the Ketchum family has thought that they were protecting Donn by covering up his sin. In reality they were ashamed of him and did not want his shame on their account. If you really love a sinner you will stand beside him in his shame even if it brings shame upon yourself. When the “innocent” carry the shame of the guilty, it is supremely Christlike and helps us to understand the grace of God and the sufferings of Christ in a deeper and deeper way.
Tom, you post was very humbling to me and instructive, no doubt, to many. Your testimony is a powerful reminder that it is only the depths of sin that enable us to see His grace and love always go deeper still. Now if only I can find someone out there to boil that down for me the next time a six year old asks, “If God knew what Satan was going to do, why did He create him in the first place?”
Dear ABWE family,
I know! What a surprise to hear from Michael Loftis, right? He’s just full of surprises. You were probably surprised to learn from him that a group of ABWE Bangladesh MKs are estranged from the whole ABWE missionary family, the hundreds and hundreds of you serving all over the world. We were surprised as well. We hope he will soon explain what it is that has come between us and you, because we are unaware of anything that has come between us and you.
It is obvious, however, that there is something between us and Michael Loftis and it is you. He has put you there. Now what Michael Loftis is doing hiding behind your skirts, I don’t know, but it seems to me that he is using you, the army God has raised up to spread the Good News, as a personal body guard to his prestige and reputation. “Circle the wagons everyone, we are being attacked.”
When you read the blog, do you, an ABWE missionary, feel attacked?
Or does it seem that we are appealing again and again to Michael Loftis and key ABWE leaders to stop hiding the truth?
Now it’s the oldest trick in the book to call it a prayer request. The board heard our cries and published the best confession they could, generously taking blame. Michael Loftis hears our cries and calls a prayer meeting.
The main thing you need to pray for is that Michael Loftis will tell the truth. I guess that’s going to be a challenge.
Someday we ABWE Bangladesh MKs might even hear about it or maybe we’ll even hear from Michael Loftis himself. Won’t that be a surprise!
Sincerely,
Dave DeCook
ABWE Bangladesh MK 1969-1979
Pastor, County Line Community Church, 3 ABWE missionaries
We just want you to know that you are not “estranged” in our eyes nor are you “former” MKs. We do not trust ourselves to say any more about the above statement. You are our beloved MKs always—and will always hold a special place in our hearts—each and every one of you.
We love you, we are earnestly working in your behalf—and will continue to do so. For the sake of you who have been abused and your families we have prayed, asked in person and pleaded via email that G.R.A.C.E. be the third party investigator.
Love–Uncle Dick and Aunt Linda
All of us–parents, “uncles and aunties,” missionaries, MKs, administrators, board members, pastors, and churches–should be learning many valuable lessons through this time of trial to our patience, test of our love, and challenge to live the high biblical standards we claim to believe and to live by. I won’t list all of those lessons today, but several are uppermost in mind today, so I will list those briefly. The Bible texts listed with some bear careful reading.
1. Sin is terribly destructive and hurtful–not just to the individual, but to absolutely everyone around him or her (remember Achan in Joshua 7? read about the sins that affected entire families in 1 & 2 Samuel).
2. With that in mind, what a horrible cost in pain and suffering Jesus paid for our sins, just because He loves us (Isaiah 53:5; Galatians 2:20).
3. Since Jesus Himself is the perfect example of loving others sacrificially, we ought to love others sacrificially (see Philippians 2).
4. Loving sacrificially lays aside all personal embarrassment, shame, and pain in order to that which is right–not that which is economically expedient, socially face-saving, or legally safe. After these things we are experiencing, we all should be taking the lead to protect victims of sin and vindicate them, rather than to excuse the perpetrator or our organizations (mission and/or church) and ourselves.
5. True religion, true godliness, consists of a person protecting and caring for the needs of widows, orphans, the oppressed, and the abused and molested (James 1:27; cp. Exodus 22:21-23; Isaiah 1:17). The person who violates, molests, harms, hurts, grieves, fails to defend, withholds justice, or accuses victims lives a life contrary to Christ, contrary to the Gospel–yes, contrary to biblical godliness.
6. The Lord desires righteousness and justice even above sacrifice–even, therefore, above sacrificial love (Proverbs 21:3)! And, we hasten to add that justice does not mean that we seek or take vengeance ourselves–that belongs to the Lord. But, that does not in anyway prevent the believer from praying for the Lord to take vengeance (Deuteronomy 32:35; Romans 12:19; Hebrews 10:30-31; Psalms 79:9-12; 94 [read all of it]; Matthew 23:14, 15, 23-28; 1 Corinthians 16:22; Galatians 1:8-9; Revelation 6:9-10) or prevent the righteous from rejoicing over the Lord’s vengeance (Psalm 58:10; Revelation 18:20; 19:3). Why? Because the victims of sinful people are not the ultimate recipients or targets of such crimes–God Himself is.
7. In a fallen world justice sometimes comes slowly and the righting of wrongs often takes a longer time than seems reasonable (Exodus 16:28; Psalms 4:2; 13:2; 82:2; Habakkuk 1:2; Revelation 6:10; cp. Ecclesiastes 8:11; Revelation 10:6). We need patience, but need to persist in prayer and in pleading (see Luke 18:1-8).
Enough for now. Someone is probably thinking, “What about forgiveness?” I will come to that another time. It, too, is important biblically. Let’s just, for the time, remind ourselves that forgiveness is not easy (Matthew 9:5) and even God does not forgive every sin (Joshua 24:19; 2 Kings 24:4; Isaiah 22:14; Matthew 6:15; 12:31-32). Let’s not, however, use that as an excuse not to forgive–let’s just be aware that there is a time not to forgive, at least until certain conditions are met (cp. Matthew 6:15).
Meanwhile, continue to “admonish the unruly, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).
In Christ,
“Uncle Bill”
Dr. Loftis stated in his letter that in 2002 he “made a request for an investigation into the matter.”
To whom did he make this request? And why was it never followed through? Didn’t it bother anyone at ABWE that a former missionary was guilty of things that he never owned up to, was (and is?) still practicing medicine and leading a “normal” life while his victims were asking for help and justice?
The counseling that was offered, accepted and helpful was a good gesture. But why wasn’t it taken further in 2002? Was the board informed at this time of what the MK’s shared? Or did only Dr. Loftis know?
There are MANY questions that need to be answered. The decision may already have been made as to who ABWE will retain for the investigation. If it’s not GRACE…well…
Current ABWE missionary
I would like to echo Dick and Linda’s statements. Very well said! In addition to what they expressed here, I am greatly disappointed in both the tone and wording used in the letters to churches and ABWE missionaries. I would feel a little better if I knew that the “Confession” of March 30 was also included with each letter, but I don’t get that impression. I hope I am wrong about that. These most recent communications with current missionaries and churches feels far too much like the cautious, self-protective, statements we saw come out of Harrisburg as initial responses to this blog, sounding way too much like carefully crafted “spin” during an American political campaign than the honest, open, contrite expressions that are called for and I would have hoped for. This feels like the same old type of response, subtlety calling into question the relationship between the mission and MK’s (Estranged? So many ways that could be interpreted.) and completely leaving out any reference to any past or present wrongdoing by ABWE. It also seems to indicate that the idea of an independent investigation originated from the leadership of ABWE as opposed the reality of it being a response to the hurt and betrayal so clearly presented here after those to whom these things were reported failed to follow though. To say I’m deeply disappointed in this most recent effort to clearly and accurately communicate by ABWE would be putting it mildly. The MK’s, missionaries, and supporting churches deserve better.
The later it gets in the day, the more posts of complete support I believe will come in. I think they’ll all end up sounding like the others above: WE do not consider you estranged; WE do not agree w/ Michael Loftis’ letters; WE want GRACE; WE are behind the MK’s.
I hold out HOPE that there are a few good men who are dragging out the board meeting as they cry out for us! My oldest son is in Washington D.C. this week and all I can think of today is Jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”. Maybe they are having their own filibuster up there on miracle mountain?
From your lips to God’s ears, Diana.
I have been watching the clock all day and checking the ABWE site to see if a decision has been made and posted. I too have prayed that some will stand up and say it MUST be GRACE. I pray that a battle is raging in that room and that in the end the Board will stand up for the molested BD MKs, the abused M families, and also other Ms who have had other battles with the administration and been “shushed.” I am continuing to pray.
It is now 6:14 over here. As a life-long eternal optimist I really wanted to believe the best (I Cor. 13). I’ve been reading and watching this blog for a week now. I can’t even imagine how others feel, you who have been living this reality for more than 20 years.
God promises to give grace and strength to meet every need. Through all this we are seeing a growing example of the vast measure of strength and grace He has to give. We are praying for His continued word in your lives, no matter what. God’s work in you hearts and lives is a priceless treasure.
I meant “work” in your lives. True, His Word is there too, but it is evident that His Word is producing a wonderful WORK in your lives.
I, too, have been checking the computer all day looking for the outcome of the commission’s research. And as one already siad, 5 o’clock has come and gone. But there is such a thing as “overtime” and I guess April 11 doesn’t end until midnight. So many have made eloquent posts and I can’t add anymore than to just join in and say “May His Grace overcome the authority of those on the hill and choose G.R.A.C.E. to be the investigator for the cover-up”. Yeh, I know….ABWE wants us to believe there wasn’t one. They might be able to sell sand to the Arabs, but I believe we see the truth ’cause we’re smarter than the average bear. Yoooohoooo…..President Loftis and ABWE Board…..we’ve been praying and waiting…..please do what is right. Put yourselves into the shoes of these victims. How would you want the outcome of this decision to be? Just sayin…..
Could this be an example of divine irony? On the Women at Risk facebook page today is this update: “God is on the move to set the captives free because He delights in them–in YOU–and loves the apple of His eye with an everlasting, inseparable Love.”
We know that he is, of course. We’re only waiting to find out how.
(I’m assuming that everyone knows what Women at Risk is.)
We sang “Everlasting God” by Lincoln Brewster in church yesterday and it has been in my mind all day today. I hope the lyrics encourage you.
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God You reign forever
Our Hope our strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint You won’t grow weary
You’re the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
The everlasting God
Hypocrisy is indeed reigning supreme in Baptist circles these days. I never cease to marvel how their lack of accountability creates all sorts of ways to skirt the truth and accomplish their own deceit and lying to achieve their own purposes (all in the name of the Lord, I might add. I long learned that I really can’t trust them. Legalism and man made rules make up their dogmas. It is high time to call the shots as they are and stand up to those who are attempting to play God. The Baptists I grew up with are not the same that I grew up with–we have a different brand these days, and it is not healthy. I am grateful for GRACE and urge ABWE to do the honorable thing. Be strong!
I am not an MK, but I am a member of a chuch that supports ABWE missionaries. I have been following this blog for a while, after I “stumbled” on it while looking for something else. As a former BBC student who had Jesse and Joyce Eaton for dorm parents, the names and places on the Bangldesh field were familiar to me. I have been running through a gamut of emotions as I checked the status everyday, most recently hope that ABWE would finally come through and do the right thing. However, my hope can truly only be in the Lord. I look forward with anticipation to see the glory of the Lord break through. I will continue to pray for you courageous ladies, and your families, and also for the leadership of ABWE (Nero was on the throne when Peter wrote to pray for those in authority). I support your request that ABWE agree to an investigation by GRACE, and have written to the board urging them to take that step.
The Moderating Team received word tonight that an announcement would be posted tomorrow from ABWE regarding the decision on the third party investigation. They have requested our patience and prayers, and are aware of our desire to know ASAP.
The moderating team desires to honor their request by praying and continuing to wait patiently for the Board to post their decision tomorrow. We invite you to join us.
The Moderating Team
Praying.
But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; They will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not be weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
The ABWE board and executives know well that many, many of their constituents are watching with bated breath to learn their decision about an investigator. They are well aware that the sentiment behind GRACE is significant and seems to be mounting.
They have a decision in their hands, but will disclose it TOMORROW rather than today as they previously promised? Given the complaints about delay and not moving quickly enough, surely they realize that such a postponement, though brief, would not win friends and influence people. They must know their request, under the circumstances, is for another night of mental anguish for victims, their families, and those concerned about ABWE around the world. Why then ask for these several hours?
I fear ABWE board members and executives want to get home and baton down the hatches for a deluge of calls and complaints they expect may follow the announcement. They can call/e-mail/write pastors, friends, supporters, and others to spin the decision before the announcement becomes public, and before key supporters and friends who are still on the fence (this group is also large) are themselves inundated with calls and complaints. I’m reluctant to mention the Clinton presidency here, but this was a strategy they used.
On the other hand, an ABWE decision to “go with GRACE” would produce the sigh of relief heard ’round the world. That announcement, if coming, would seem to be one any embattled leader in the spotlight would be eager to deliver.
Pray for everyone involved. Much is at stake.
We do realize that what you say may be true, but we have chosen instead to rest our weary heads tonight with hope and the belief that they are going to choose the right thing for the MKs and also the right thing for ABWE’s reputation. (We believe it would only help their reputation if they went with GRACE because it reinforces that they are listening and really do care.)
Diana Durrill
An optimistic view is that they took the time to read and consider the email that came in over the weekend, several of which are mine (sent to others but copied to them)
Even if they stayed late, the secretaries probably left at 5, or earlier. Unfair to keep them there just to post this. They didn’t actually say they would post the decision today, just that the committee would present their recommendation to the board today. Doesn’t even guarantee that the decision would be made today.
Sleep well, Diana. We do have hope. God’s grace has given us a sure hope of a future home in heaven, and that same grace will give you strength for the long journey ahead. Please know that many people are praying for you.
Valerie Hennessy
Dear Ladies,
This is the first time I’ve written, though I’ve been following your story since April 3. I’ve been serving in Ctg for almost 13 years. When I first found out about this blog, I wasn’t going to read it. Is airing dirty laundry in public ever a good idea? Besides, I don’t know DK or any of the victims personally. But I guess that’s the whole point, isn’t it? That if it’s “none of my business” then I’m not going to listen, not going to lose any sleep over it, and certainly not going to do anything about it. But. I did read, am reading, am sad and angry and sick-to-my-stomach and losing sleep over this. And I have done some: written to the board twice, urging them to choose GRACE.
I love my dear adoptive “nieces and nephews.” Among the “deshis”, relationship terms can also carry responsibility. Just so, I take my responsibility as an “Auntie” very seriously. Though you are my elders, ladies, I hope you don’t mind that I consider you my “nieces” as well. 😉
Ladies, your story reminds me of Joseph. He too was put through pain and suffering at the hands of his brothers, the chosen family of God. Do you imagine that Joseph was never abused as a slave or in the Egyptian prison? Yet he always served God without complaining, doing the best he could where God (not his brothers, he knew) had put him. He too made an effort to make the truth of his innocence known, asking the cupbearer to put in a good word for him. But again, it was not God’s time. (Or were you blaming the cupbearer for his forgetfulness?) Two years later, when the time was right, God orchestrated Joseph’s release. (Or were you praising Pharoah for that?) And not just release, right? Made him vice-Pharoah. Who would’ve thought? That’s right, nobody. God just loves to do stuff nobody expects, so He gets all the glory. Okay, back to the story. So Joseph’s brothers show up, including the ones that had thrown him in the pit, one (Reuben) who should’ve taken responsibility, chased down that caravan and rescued his little brother!!, and one (Benjamin) who was innocent. I will not try to make this a point-for-point or person-for-person analogy beyond the obvious.
Reuben’s sin was as great as his brothers. I am NOT saying that the Russes or the mission leadership were as guilty as DK, but that, as was pointed out by others, sins of omission and then a sin of imposed silence compounded (no pun intended) the original sins, and allowed the cancer to quietly spread.
Joseph, through it all, saw God’s hand at work (Gen 50:20), and so was able to forgive, even before his brothers confessed.
Friends, many people on this blog have said they’re praying. Many, many more who’ve never posted are praying. When ABWE announces their decision, will you then praise or criticize ABWE? If Pharoah was a tool in the hand of God, how much more a board of godly men, who only want God’s will? Let us keep our anger aimed at sin and its consequences, friends, not at the sinners. For like it or not, with so many praying for God’s will, how can it not be done? Let us then take God’s will, whatever it is, with thanksgiving.
God allowed Joseph’s sufferings so that many were saved from a famine. May God use your sufferings, my sisters, my “nieces,” to save others. And may this never happen again. Not on our watch.
Your Loving “Auntie”
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/scarred-childhood-13334532
“When ABWE announces their decision, will you then praise or criticize ABWE? If Pharoah was a tool in the hand of God, how much more a board of godly men, who only want God’s will?”
The men in the video saw themselves as godly men. Those following them saw them as godly men. Were they godly men? “godly men” can be soooo wrong. True godly men act like their Savior and God.
The men in the video are a SHAMEFUL example of “Christianity.” How sad that so many people in their churches are lulled into believing the lies and allowing their common sense to be dulled. How God must weep over the likes of them. If we, as true believers, learn nothing else from all of this it is that we must keep our eyes and ears open and speak up. Yes, we must speak the truth “in love.” Doing that should never compromise the truthfulness of the message.
Still praying for you all. The road to restoration and healing is long and difficult. You’ve come a long way! This “cloud of witnesses” rejoices with you in this and prays for continued strength and courage for you to continue the journey.
As an outsider, someone not directly involved but related distantly, I have been following this blog with tears, grief and much prayer for all involved. I appreciate the analogy to Joseph and think it’s very appropriate, but just want to remind everyone that Joseph did not just forgive his family. He tested them extensively over a period of time to see if their hearts were truly changed. Then reconciliation was able to take place.
I am continuing to pray and I’m amazed and grateful for the courage all of you have shown.
Hmm…,
“with so many praying for God’s will, how can it not be done?”
Interesting theological implications in this. Strikes me as erroneous.
Think about it.
Dear Miss __________(?),
By your own admittance, I do not know you and you do not know me. Therefore, I respectfully ask you to refrain from exercising your perceived authority over me.
As others have been discussing, “aunt and uncle” are terms used on the BD field. While it awkward at first for some of us, we quickly became willing to use those terms of affection with the full respect due them. However, those we call “aunt and uncle” have earned the right to bear those privileged names. They earned our respect because they loved us, taught us, mentored us, celebrated us, corrected us, guided us, etc. They have even more of our respect and admiration today because they are humble enough to say they are sorry and ask our forgiveness for not doing/saying more about this back then. They are humble. And they no longer exert their “authority” over us – now full grown adults with children of our own who are all grown up and beginning their own families. These aunts and uncles are now our friends, too. We proudly call them aunt and uncle.
You, however, do not have a relationship with any of us. You do not know the situation apart from what you are learning in recent days. You have not earned the right to call yourself “auntie” to us. (With or without the winking emoticon.) So, on behalf of my MK friends and myself, I respectfully ask you to refrain from using that title with us again.
As far as your spiritual admonition (others have referred to it as spiritual abuse), you might want to go back and reread Joseph’s story with a fresh perspective. Look in particular for the part where Joseph required his brothers to demonstrate their repentance to him, more than once, before he revealed who he was and that he had forgiven them. Notice also the great tears he wept in private and public. Note the fact that he never says it was easy because God meant it for good. No indeed….it was hard and it was abuse…but when forgiveness flooded Joseph’s heart it was free-flowing for all. I know, because I have experienced it already, that forgiveness will be free-flowing in the lives of the abused once true repentance is demonstrated.
I highly recommend the book “The Prodigal God” by Timothy Keller. I think you would learn a lot from reading the story of the prodigal son from a new perspective. I know I did. Order it on Amazon today – you’ll be humbled and oh-so-blessed.
Thank you for your prayers, Miss ____________(?)
Whoa! This is apparently a response to “Movie Night Auntie” – but why the vicious response? In what way did she try to “exercise perceived authority” over you? What in her comments do you consider “spiritual abuse”?
Next to the last paragraph does have a problem – God’s will WILL be done – isn’t that what sovreignty is — what makes Him GOD? — regardless of how many of us are “praying for it”.
Anyway, in several decades of working with a variety of non-profit organizations, I have never seen a board anywhere near the size of ABWE move with such speed. Admittedly, 22 years late — but amazing progress for three weeks. This type of action would “normally” take up to three years for a large board to arrange.
Be assured that there are many MK’s and other missions-interested people praying for all of you, and that somehow God will bring glory to Himself through this. Your courage is commendable and your cause is just.
Well, I will admit that the post from an “auntie” was a little hard to take without a big grain of salt.
It seemed that she swooped in at the last minute to remind us to remember our place and included her interpretation of forgiveness from a Bible story, that actually was a very incomplete exposition of the passage.
She may have meant well, but it didn’t come across that way with seemingly accusatory questions like, would we praise or criticize ABWE if they chose another organization, etc., as if the fact that lots of people are praying is a guarantee that good will be done and we need do nothing more. Others have pointed out the problematic theology there.
Maybe we are older than this “auntie” and have learned that life and faith don’t have such simplistic answers. Maybe she meant well. But it did not translate into love from an “auntie,” but a strange rebuke from a young woman we don’t even know, who admitted she originally didn’t think that a blog about missionary girls molested in the country where she’s ministering, allegedly covered up by the organization she works for was worth her time or was her business. I hope she has seen the error of that sort of thinking. That’s why it’s a little hard to take her post as being loving.
I hope she meant it to be nicer than it came across to those of us who worked very hard for truth here.
P.S. Oh! To answer the actual question posed by MK, I don’t think Diana’s response was in the “vicious” category. It was a to-the-point response. Often when women are blunt, it is not taken well. However, I, for one, did not take Movie Nite Auntie’s post well because it was NOT blunt. It was hard to get a handle on what she wanted here. It seemed to be a bit like a backhanded compliment … full of niceties with a few stabs thrown in for good measure. We all have to think about what we post here, and that includes me. But maybe just saying what we mean and risking offense is better than trying to manipulate others with our words and invoking terms of endearment and Bible stories to get an upper hand.
It is a good lesson for all of us, myself included.
When we invoke Scripture, we have to be careful. All of us. Because we usually read into it what we want to see … just like we read into each other’s posts. Exposite cautiously, I guess … is the lesson here? (Both posts and Scripture.)
In response to MK, another board, Another field:
This is someone we don’t even know but yet she talks as if we know her and that she can relate. She also brings in the fact that she wonders if we could forgive? I think that there has been enough grace shown here on this blog by the victims and their families that proves that they will be able to forgive. But she questions whether we will be able to? She talks about Joseph and all he went through yet never complained. Okay, try telling the victims to not complain about being molested.
I have to agree with Tamara. She did have some good points but some stabs also. Was she trying to encourage or was she trying to condemn. Tamara, you are right. We have to be careful what we say on here. Writing it out and hearing someone say it are two different things.
I know Diana very well and I do not believe that that was a vicious response on her part. Diana is not that type of person.
If you know her she was just trying to understand this person and why she said what she said!
I do agree with Diana about her needing to go back and reread the story again! Joseph wanted to make sure his brothers were sincere. How hard that was for him. I understand that very well. So he tested them, and in the end he forgave them. But I think he already forgave them b/c all the tears he cried. That shows forgiveness. But true repentance has to be demonstrated for forgiveness to be free flowing. I believe it will be demonstrated and forgiveness will be there as well. It already is there!
I guess if you don’t know the whole story sometimes its hard for the victims and their families to be able to accept what you have to say if it doesn’t come across in an encouraging way. Once again, be careful in your choice of words.
Anne Smith
sister of 14 yr old victim
I think it could stand to be repeated, that what is on this blog is just the tip of the iceberg. I know of quite a few of DK’s victims who actually did NOT share their stories here. And the ones who did only shared a little sliver. I wish we could somehow make that clear to all who read this blog: You are only getting a glimpse. And so I echo what you say, Anne, that a majority of the people reading this blog do not know the whole story. Thank God for GRACE, who can speak to the victims in private, hear their stories and one day be able to show those who doubted that there was plenty more to be upset about. And graciousness actually was abundant here on many days, even in the midst of being messengers of ugly truth that many people did not want to hear.
– Tamara
Vicious? No.
Indignant? Yes.
If “Movie Night Aunt” was hurt by my “tone”, then I am sorry for that. It was not intended to be a vicious attack but simply a firm request.
Does it matter to anyone than not only I, but some of my friends were hurt by HER tone? No, probably not.
But I am easily intreated. I humbly & sincerely offer the following apologies:
To “MK, Another Board, Another Field” – I am very sorry if you did not hear my “firm” tone but only picked up on “vicious”. That was not my intent at all and I apologize for not being more careful with my words. I commit to working harder at it.
To “Auntie” – I am sincerely sorry if you felt attacked for that was really not my intent. It was simply my intent to be firm and direct with you.
Diana
Maybe I’m confused about forgiveness or what is being said, but, this is my “take” on what I have read from these women –
They have already forgiven (the basics anyway, maybe not all the appendages)
They aren’t sinning if they still haven’t forgiven all the appendages. Some of the appendages are too fresh. People can’t snap their fingers or push some button and voila!, forgiveness done. Some of the appendages are yet unknown. You can’t forgive an offense until you know the offense.
This blog doesn’t exist because they haven’t forgiven. The energy here isn’t revenge. The words and intent of this blog are to call the offenders to righteousness, to speak up for truth. THIS is true godliness.
God hates, you know.
copied from the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia –
“Alike in the Old Testament and New Testament, hate of the malevolent sort is unsparingly condemned (Numbers 35:20; Psalms 109:5; Proverbs 10:12; Titus 3:3; 1 John 3:15), but in the Old Testament hatred of evil and evil-doers, purged of personal malice, is commended (Psalms 97:10; 101:3; 139:21,22, etc.). The New Testament law softens this feeling as regards persons, bringing it under the higher law of love (Matthew 5:43,14; compare Romans 12:17-21), while intensifying the hatred of evil (Jude 1:23; Revelation 2:6). ”
I don’t see malevolence here. (not denying that our hearts are sinful and malevolence usually tries to push its way into the picture) I don’t see malevolence. I see hating what God hates. How can it be right to “forgive” what God hates?
One thing God probably hates is having his word twisted, allowing evil to flourish in the name of “forgiveness.”
I say to those of you who write here exhorting forgiveness, you have had twisted scriptures taught to you. You have been indoctrinated with a false religion. You are trying to pass it on, to teach it to others. Probably sincerely, probably thinking you are doing good. You aren’t. You are perpetuating spiritual abuse. I don’t say that to your shame. It is me also. God has renewed my mind in many ways yet I know there is more. There is twisted doctrine I was taught from twisted scripture that is still twisted into my mind.
Anyway, that’s my take on it.
Well Diana,
Your “tone” benefits me. I wince a little, maybe notice something but mostly take it as nothing to complain about. Then you respond and I realize that again I have absorbed something hurtful instead of deflecting it away, seeing it for what it is.
I am obviously too forgiving. It’s a bad thing, that. Allows abuse access.
Dear MK, another board, another field,
Thank you. You were exactly right about my intentions, and everything else you said.
Dear Diana,
Thank you for your second post, which is making me cry all over again. I was indeed hurt by your comments, to think that you had taken offense where none was intended. I honestly only meant to encourage, and I felt like you were slapping the hand I offered in friendship. Please allow me to explain what I meant, as I have been misunderstood.
“Movie Nite Aunt”
I didn’t feel free to share my name, as I wanted it un-googleable. But the name I shared is a clue to any who have served in Ctg or Mgt in the last decade. (I am single, and once a month, I have the MKs over for an evening of movies, crafts, & fun.)
“I consider you my ‘nieces'”
I humbly withdraw my comment and smilie; I am truly sorry. Everything you said about the “Aunt & Uncle” relationship is exactly how I feel about the dozens of kids & teens (some of whom are now adults) who’ve called me “Aunt” though we are not related. I hope I’ve been able to both encourage and challenge them, and I pray for them constantly.
What I did NOT say, and did NOT mean: I am superior to you or in authority over you, so let me lecture you on forgiveness.
What I MEANT to say: I want to take *responsibility* to do what little I can, as an active missionary, to hold the mission board accountable. (That’s all that I meant.)
“your story reminds me of Joseph”
“Joseph forgave his brothers”
What I did NOT say, and did NOT mean: You should act more like Joseph.
What I MEANT to say: Ladies, you ARE Joseph. You are patient, long-suffering, and forgiving in the face of trials I cannot begin to imagine. You have served God in the hard place He has put you, and you are a testimony to the faithfulness of God. I DON’T think I know everything about your situation. I DON’T know what it’s like to grow up in a third-world country. I DON’T know ANYTHING about the pain you have faced. I cannot say how sorry I am that you think I was lecturing you!
“(blaming the cupbearer, praising Pharoah)”
I’m sorry, these do sound sarcastic. I’m a teacher, and slipped into full teaching mode at this point, I guess. The questions were MEANT to be rhetorical – thought-provoking, not accusatory.
“tool in the hand of God”
This is a challenge, a call to faith in God, not man. Again, very very sorry for lack of clarity.
What I MEANT to say: Keep the faith, as you have done, and as Joseph did those last 2 years in prison. Believe in the sovereignty of God. No matter what decision ABWE makes, God’s will and His justice will not be thwarted. They will come to pass in His time. And God will use it all – the good works, the mistakes, and even the sins – for good (as only He can do).
Even now, as I write this, plain text on white background, I am afraid that you will somehow take these words too as sarcastic or insincere. Is there anything I can do about that? I don’t know. We do have to be careful with what we say here, and apparently, with what we don’t say as well.
God bless you.
a humbled Aunt
Movie Nite Aunt –
Know what? Of all people on this blog…I get it that people read our posts differently than we sometimes intend. I get that others will pick up on a “tone” of sarcasm or insincerity that might not truly be there. I get that sometimes we write from the heart and it sounds good to us but not to anyone else.
I get it and I appreciate it. So – thank you. Thank you for clearing up your words and their meanings. We all appreciate it. I wrote to you as a representative for many who had expressed frustration and hurt over your post. It was misunderstood by more than just myself, but I am confident that they, too, will be gracious of your second post and thankful that what we thought you were saying was not at all what you meant to say.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that. We can all humble ourselves, forgive, and let it go.
I was people watching yesterday in the airport as I waited for my son to arrive home from a trip to D.C. with his class. As I watched (seemingly) happy, sad, confused, lonely, and angry faces go by….I thought only of how each of us are scarred and bruised by our experiences in life. Each of us should be able to relate to the other for we have all experienced success and we have all tasted failure. But what is exciting is that God is all about redemption. And I am so glad He redeemed me and is now sanctifying me. I am so undeserving. I make mistakes – EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Who am I to not forgive? And hopefully I am someone people can find it in their hearts to forgive.
So – thank you! I forgive you and I thank you for forgiving me.
Diana Durrill
Another mistake I made, I now realize: You are my elders in experience, but I was 20 in 1989. So I’m roughly the same physical age as those who were teens then.
Again, sorry that I seem incapable of giving a simple compliment.
Dear Movie Nite Aunt,
Your explanation is clear and I am thankful for your support. Many times it is difficult to understand the intent without knowing the person that has written the letter. Facial expressions and intonations are a huge help in communications, but unfortunately those aides are lost in the digital age that we find ourselves in. I’m glad to hear that you spend a lot of time with the MKs, those were very formative years in my life.
Hey Movie Nite Auntie. I second Charles’ motion. Good job ministering to the MKs right there! The tradition continues!
1. Into the heart of Jesus
Deeper and deeper I go,
Seeking to know the reason
Why He should love me so,
Why He should stoop to lift me
Up from the miry clay,
Saving my soul, making me whole,
Though I had wandered away.
2. Into the will of Jesus,
Deeper and deeper I go,
Praying for grace to follow,
Seeking His way to know;
Bowing in full surrender
Low at His blessed feet,
Bidding Him take, break me and make,
Till I am molded, complete.
3. Into the cross of Jesus
Deeper and deeper I go,
Following through the garden,
Facing the dreaded foe;
Drinking the cup of sorrow,
Sobbing with broken heart,
“O Savior, help! Dear Savior, help!
Grace for my weakness impart.”
4. Into the joy of Jesus
Deeper and deeper I go,
Rising, with soul enraptured,
Far from the world below.
Joy in the place of sorrow,
Peace in the midst of pain,
Jesus will give, Jesus will give;
He will uphold and sustain.
5. Into the love of Jesus
Deeper and deeper I go,
Praising the One Who brought me
Out of my sin and woe;
And through eternal ages
Gratefully I shall sing,
“O how He loved! O how He loved!
Jesus, my Lord and my King!”
Thank you for sharing this.
I was not going to post anymore for at least a while but I felt I needed to today. I see my God’s hand in everything today. I just watched a part of a video that our ladies are doing for a bible study this year. I have seen this one before, but God wanted me to see it again today. One thing that stuck out was that TRUTH BREEDS TRUST. God cannot lie so therefore we can trust Him. God cannot cover up sin because He does not sin. One person we can say we can trust is God and His word. Over a period of time the trust that has been broken will be mended. But not until those who have caused the hurt, can prove to those who have been hurt, that they are sincerely sorry for what they have done. I believe that God is going to get the glory in all of this. He is going to use His people (whether it is the victims, their families or the missionaries) to continue to do a great work for Him. We have to sift out the sin and let God start all over. We need a fresh start. I am hopeful and prayerful that the board has decided to go with a third party that wants to see God gain the glory in all of this! The saying “Let Go and Let God” brings a whole new meaning when I think about all that has happened and what will happen. But God is faithful to deliver us!
I have been and will be in prayer for God to be honored and glorified!
Anne Smith
Sister of 14 yr old
The bible study is Beth Moore’s
John the Beloved Disciple (its an excellent study!)
As we wait for ABWE’s decision this morning, I wanted to weigh in on a question that keeps coming up to me from many different sources. The question is: Now that the blog has “done its job” will you close it down?
1. It has not done its job. Donn Ketcham still has a license to practice medicine in the state of Michigan and is not a registered pedophile.
2. Those responsible for the mess at ABWE have not repented publicly or in writing of their sin and law-breaking (child endangerment laws) as individuals who bear individual responsibility for their actions, and I speak of a handful of men, not the organization as a whole. Let me be clear. Just a handful of men.
3. This blog has brought healing to a lot of people. Why would we shut it down? It is the story of truth and redemption. If some of the people discussed on this blog wish to have this blog, with over 1000 comments in just one month and over 6,000 views on average each day become a place where people read a story of redemption, they can go public with their apologies for ignorance or naivety or whatever they are guilty of, right here on this blog, as some others have done. Do you know what a blessing it has been to others? I hear this every day, what a blessing it is to see Christians stand up against lies and pedophiles, and see Christians admit they were wrong (i.e. aunts and uncles, the confession from ABWE’s board, etc.).
4. Do you think David preferred the story of his sin with Bathsheba not be recorded in holy books? Do you think Thomas was a little embarrassed that his moment of doubt was all his coworkers for the gospel seemed to remember about him? Do you think the people Paul called out in his letters to various churches really wanted to be remembered that way for all eternity? God’s story is still being written. No, not the Bible, but the story of how God redeems and transforms His people every day.
People can either be part of it or they can look away, but if they are hoping this blog will shut down, they haven’t quite grasped the importance of transparency and honesty in ministry (and life!) and so this blog is still quite necessary.
In response to Pamela Bennett’s comments on using “aunt/uncle” for others than biological family, you have to know the Asian—especially Indian—culture. Indians/ Bengalis are horrified when they hear a child call an adult by name. Indian children in a store or airport who are totally unknown to you will automatically call you “auntie or uncle.” If missionary children referred to adults by their given names, they would be considered to be rude and impolite. To say, “Mr. Smith” or “Miss Jones” to people you see everyday of your life seems ridiculous. I address this issue in my book By Ones and Twos in Chapter 3 which begins with Ps. 68:6, “God sets the solitary in FAMILIES.” Humbled—and Proud—to still be Aunt Jeannie
Thank you for your interpretation of why “aunty & uncle” I have never been given a reason except that we loved these people like family and they were closer than family.
Hi Jeannie Didi (‘big sister’ another term of respect),
Glad you have explained the usage of those terms in the Asian context. This custom is true of nearly ALL Asian cultures, I would add.
Time for change? By this I mean whether young persons going into a completely New environment should be ‘required’ to follow the ‘protocol’ just because (bring out the list, Mom, dad). Already they are overloaded emotionally with everything new they have to adjust to. Having come from an Asian background I can say that on average if a young person from a foreign country addresses an Adult in a respectful way, e.g,, ‘Mr. Z’ or ‘Mrs. Z’ the locals will not mind.
I have 2 third culture sons and I have and am still learning from my interaction with them. Having been a parent now for 24 years I strongly believe children should not be ‘required’ to say or do things they are not comfortable with. Usually they have a good and logical reason. I am referring to matters relating to cultural adaptations and not about following basic manners like saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ (hopefully with the right attitude). May be parents teach very young children what they (parents) think is the best then give the young persons options as they become older. As most of us may know that Sexual abuse is carried out by people the victims know well or are family members I believe this is a legit topic for consideration and discussion for the greater safety of our children. Food for thought.
As an MK who loved my Aunt Jeannie (just to name one of many I love and loved), I would say that most of us MKs did not mind calling the grownups in our lives every day Aunt and Uncle, because that is exactly how we saw most of them. Like Diana said, most helped raise us. We loved them as family and in many cases knew them better than family.
It’s sad that one uncle we happened to believe the best of was a sexual predator. But maybe not reason to throw out the system entirely. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater, because for those in isolated areas where the missionaries rely on each other so much, it really made sense culturally and emotionally. I can’t even imagine us calling him Dr. Ketcham. But if I could go back and change something, it wouldn’t be calling him uncle, it would be the fact that he was allowed to be part of my childhood at all.
With that said, when I DID mind having to call an adult Aunt or Uncle was when they were still a stranger to me. I think children should be allowed to stick with Mr. and Mrs. or Miss until they feel comfortable switching.
I also minded when the person was only 6 years older than me. (Speaking of my teenage years when we would sometimes be expected to call short-term college students Aunt or Uncle.) That felt weird. And as Bengalis my age at that point were often already married … I don’t think they’d have minded me calling someone just a little older by their first name.
But it’s true it was a very cultural thing, not just emotional. I’m glad Aunt Jeannie pointed that out, since it’s come under criticism and does seem strange to the outside world. But maybe missionaries in those cultures can begin to allow their children to decide when someone is familiar enough and trusted enough to be called Auntie or Uncle and not Mr./Mrs./Miss. I’m all for respect. Respect is good and respect implies boundaries too.
So maybe missionary parents in cultures where first names are rude, can sensitively help their children know when the time is right to switch to terms of endearment and love.
Is it all semantics? We have heard the comments—pro and con—on whether to label what is going on in ABWE a “cover-up”. It is too harsh! No, it is exactly what is going on. Which is it? Part of the answer, I think, is due to cultural influences where truth is now relative and should not offend. Many of us still remember the Clinton legacy that “taught” us it depends on what the meaning of “is…is?” More recently, we had congressman Joe Wilson blasted for calling the president a liar. The backlash put out a very clear message that our leaders will not be questioned or labeled anything offensive—even if true. We hear all too often the expression, he/she “misspoke” or “what they meant to say was” and many other explanations rather than calling it what God does—a lie. Maybe the more important question to ask here is whose standard is being applied?
Are we to try and differentiate between outright falsehoods, a partial truth mixed with untruth, truth with details omitted (so as to leave the wrong impression) or truth not spoken? Perhaps, the objection (to cover up) lies with intent. Only God knows the true motives of those in ABWE involved in the decision-making process, but 20-20 hindsight raises a number of legitimate questions. We all want to believe that a young girl’s best interests were handled in a spiritual manner, that her devastated family was informed of all the decisions and were part of the process, and that her perpetrator was correctly identified for what he was/is. We were wrong. Does anyone honestly think that ABWE leadership would have realized at some point how inadequately (and wrongly) things had been handled if there had been no “blog” and many well-meaning responders? Clearly, from ABWE’s “confession” and from the now-revealed paper trail we know that this matter had been considered “handled”.
So, in light of what we now know and the apparent reluctance of ABWE leadership to be forthright and proactive in every way possible leads me to believe that there is more to be revealed. Truth speaks volumes and exposes darkness unless it is silenced. To quote a Grand Rapids area pastor: “grace without accountability does not work”. Our focus should not be on how ABWE would be viewed rather it should be directed only on doing that which honors the Lord. We should not “cover” our sins or use less offensive labeling to soften the ugly truth. That would be a facade. It is not the opinion of ABWE that matters ultimately, but that of our Heavenly Father. A song that we all sang growing up (Matthew 5:14-15?) seems appropriate here — “Let it shine” and the line “Hide it under a bushel—NO! “I’m going to let it shine…” and “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Is that what we see happening in ABWE?
Good points in your post, Tamara. (April 12, 2011 at 10:48 am) Shutting down the blog should not be to “remove the spotlight” or because of “embarrassment”. I think everyone will know when the time is right.
Praise the Lord for ABWE’s decision! I feel heard and loved by the Board today. I have hope that it will continue! Read their decision about the 3rd party here:
http://abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-sets-monday-deadline-to-choose-a-third-party-investigator/
This is good news for the rebuilding of trust, the triumph of truth, and for the healing of people and organization alike! May God’s name receive all of the praise!
http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-and-grace/
Thank you to the Board of men who wanted GRACE to be the third party. This means so much to our family. Maybe our daughter can begin to heal now. Thank you
Praise the Name of the Lord. Praise Him in the heights. Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.
That said…I think GRACE should investigate it all, not just as it relates to DK. But it’s a start.
Response to the use of the terms “aunt” and “uncle.”
1. You need to understand the culture of the Asian and particularly the Indian peoples. For a child to call an adult by his/her first name is unheard-of. The child would be considered extremely rude. Often a totally unknown child you might meet in a store or an airport will address you as “aunt” or “uncle.” It is a term of respect.
2. Calling someone you see daily as Mr. Jones or Miss Smith seems ridiculous, and we were/are a close knit family in Bangladesh. I refer to this in chapter 3 of my book By Ones and Twos. The chapter begins with Psalm 68:6, “He sets the solitary in families.”
I am humbled and proud to still be Aunt Jeannie
Thank you, ABWE Board, for a first tangible step that follows your well expressed confession and apology. Now a difficult work begins for ABWE. And perhaps victims and their families will now begin to heal. There is a lot of healing that must happen–more than you will ever know. But God is able……
AMEN. I am thanking the Lord for this answer to prayers. Now may restoration begin and may we never see the mistakes of the past repeated. I also sent a note to the board thanking them and committing to continue praying for the board. I will pray for GRACE, ABWE and victims. May your hearts be lifted.
I am grateful for the ABWE Board making the decision to hire G.R.A.C.E for the investigation as this is the organization the victims and their families trust. It is understood by all that ABWE is necessarily placing themselves into a vulnerable situation. However, it is so much better to be teachable and vulnerable, then to be proud and guarded. God exalts the humble.
My hope and prayer is that the results of the investigation:
1.) Help to bring the repentance and forgiveness that needs to place.
2.) Help to insure that ABWE is an honest, transparent, and accountable mission board to God and the people they serve.
3.) Will show the world watching that God is a God of light and in Him is no darkness at all.
4.) Churches and organizations everywhere watch and learn from this gut-wrenching process and take steps to insure their own transparent accountability.
Mike Durrill
Valley Community Baptist Church
I have commented under ABWE’s decision to submit to a third party but I also wanted to comment here as this seems to be the place where others are posting.
Thank you to the board of ABWE for submitting to GRACE as the third party! I continue to pray for healing of the victims and for trust to be restored. You have no idea what this means to our family. We have waited for this or something like this to take place. I know and feel in my heart that people believe us and support us! Thank you!
Anne Smith (James)
The song playing in my heart tonight:
“These sufferings, this passing tide, under Your wings I will abide; and every enemy shall flee, You are my hope and victory! Praise the Father, Praise the Son. Praise Spirit, Three-in-One. Clothed in power and in grace, the Name above all other Names! Yours is the Kingdom! Yours is the power! Yours is the glory! Forever!”
Resting sweetly tonight with my family.
We want to express to you, the ABWE Board, our deepest thanks for choosing G.R.A.C.E. to facilitate and direct a third party investigation of the abuse events that occurred in Bangladesh and how these issues were handled by ABWE.
We will be praying for you, ABWE Board members, and for the leadership at G.R.A.C.E. as the investigation moves forward.
Dick and Linda Stagg
It’s been many nights since many of us involved in reading, crying, and shouldering your burdens through prayer have slept well. Many is the night we woke and continued to pray for all you and for ABWE to do the right thing. Tonight we can truly sing the doxology, “Praise God from Whom All Blessing Flow.” Thank you ABWE for your choice of G.R.A.C.E. This is a tremendous step in the healing for so many. In the darkest of days He continues to show us His love and goodness. I am continuing to pray for His grace and healing in the days ahead. Thank you to all of you who allowed us to share in your burden, see your transparency,and your love for the God you have served for so long. You have taught us so much. To God Be all the Glory!
I have posted earlier under the name ‘Our God Is Transparant’. Dhonnobad Probhu Tumi Prarthhona Shunle~Ar Tumi ShobShomoy Amader bhalobaso O ashirbad kore thhako -emonki koshter Madhome O. (Thank You Lord for hearing our Prayer. You love and bless us even through Difficult circumstances).
When I read that ABWE hired GRACE Tears of thankfulness were flowing as I thanked God for His Love shown once again by answering His children’s prayers~the Rainbow of the Promise of His Never Failing Love even in the midst of Death and destruction. May the Lord guide GRACE with His wisdom as they embark on this difficult but unavoidable task. For ABWE to continue in the path of Holiness for its a Holy God that it Represents and He cannot be shortchanged on His character.
If I may humbly suggest for Future Reference (if its not already been incorporated): A MUST COVER Subject in the ABWE Candidate Seminar Under ‘Perils in the Field’ is: ‘Signs and Symptoms’ of Abuse (Sexual, Emotional, Spiritual) /Bullying. I truly believe this will be a helpful tool in preventing/minimising such heartbreaking and destructive events in a young person’s life.
As God freed and delivered me from the effects of Sexual Abuse (I was sexually molested by an unbeliever family friend I called ‘uncle’ when I was 16) after many years, So I pray for a New beginning for you dear ones who have been abused by DK that you will begin to experience over abundance of Peace, joy and love and enjoy life to the Full in Jesus.
I also pray for God’s Mercy for DK and family that he will take up God given Second Chance and TRULY repent for his sins, asks forgiveness from each of his victims and finds and receives forgiveness and Peace .
Love n God’s Blessings
I am in absolute awe of your courage! May the Lord strengthen you for the days ahead.
PS. I am a current ABWE Missionary. My family and I have visited both Malumghat and Chittagong. We have fond memories of those places. May the peace and Tranquility my family and I experienced in Malumghat and Chittagong during our visit/s continue to fill and overflow those campuses and into each BD heart around the world. Amen.
I have worked as a teacher for 35 years. For one precious year of that career (86-87) I got to work at Malumghat. A short time ago we got a note through Facebook from one of my former students alerting us to this blog. I must admit I was reluctant to come to this site. I have been a teacher long enough to know that there are terrible things done by teachers and doctors against those who are placed in their care. Malumghat had both and I feared the worst.
For the last two days Pam and I have been reading everything that has been posted on this site, and it has brought up many memories, both good and bad. We loved playing board games with the students and trivia games with our peers. We loved the sense of family; how you just had to walk into someone’s house and say “knock, knock” as you strolled in. We loved how much we both felt so much concern when Pam became sick with ‘Chittagong Perihepatitis.’ We only stayed a year, but it was a year that will stay with us for all eternity.
However, there were problems. We were never given more than entry and exit visas so the Mission could control whether or not we could leave the country. We were given no say in how we saw the future of our ministry with ABWE. When we raised the issue of how several of the children on the compound seemed to be struggling with depression and anxiety, we were told in no uncertain terms that ALL the children on the compound were wonderfully happy and who were we to say otherwise. There seemed to be two standard responses to any issue; either indignation that you would even talk about such a thing or those are the rules and you don’t question them. There were other problems as well. We heard the stories of DK’s sexual indiscretion with single female nurses, and we wondered at the time why he was being allowed to return to the field when the young woman involved had to leave permanently.
All of these things weighed on us as we returned to Canada to consider a career with ABWE in Bangladesh. Although the mission purported to care deeply about the families and MKs we often did not see that in the response to the needs of children, both mks and nationals. In spite of the families who we grew to love, and the care they gave their own children, we were left with the feeling that this was just not a safe place to bring our own children back into. Nor did we want to be further involved with an organization with such an appalling lack of consideration for the most precious and fundamental responsibility of parental care.
We have been friends of many of the families represented here, and although the Lord has led us on a different path than many of you have walked, we want you to know that we are with you in spirit. We have grieved and we have cried as we have read of the extent of the sins committed against you, and especially the sin of ignoring your cries for help. We are shocked and saddened by the abominable way you were treated by those to whom your care had been entrusted. There was a culture of silence and acceptance of indiscretion that ran deep on that field, and it emanated from the organization that condoned and perpetuated that culture by their vanity and self-importance. We will let GRACE know that we are willing to go on record with what we know, though it is precious little. We will stand with you in prayer.
A Christian spirit of compassion and an earnest desire for truth shines forth from these pages like a blinding light. We are amazed by the maturity and deep spiritual strength of those who have posted here. Those who in age could easily be our children, have shown us who are older what it means to walk in the spirit through valleys of despair; to ask for justice while holding on the dearest things of Christ. How you have managed to retain such grace under fire; how you can still find it in your heart to reach out not only to those who harmed you, but to those who did so little to help you, is humbling in the extreme. Oh may the Lord pour out His healing upon you. May God’s living word penetrate to the heart of those who enabled these awful things to take place. May justice flow down like a river; and may you find peace.
God bless,
Uncle Steve and Aunt Pam Wise
Thank you, Steve and Pam, for the many hours you spent preparing your Post. This must have taken you weeks to think through and the equivalent of a full work day to write.
We, like you, will let GRACE know that we will go on record with what know as short-term missionaries at Malumghat, mid-July to mid-August, ’89.
As posted before, we arrived at Malumghat the day before Donn was confronted with his sin and we were included in the meeting. Though we knew the truths revealed that month, we had no idea that Donn’s sin had affected so many for so long or that ABWE had not followed through with their responsibilities prior to 1989 or after.
We too have been blessed and humbled by the strength, maturity and steadfast love for the Lord shown by these victims and their families who were deeply wronged throughout the years.
With grateful hearts,
Ed and Dona Martin
Thank you for your eloquent expression of love and concern for the girls and families who have had to endure this awful abuse. Thank you for putting into words your frustration with what you saw coming from the ABWE leadership. It helps to hear because it confirms what we have also experienced, and what we have heard others have experienced. My husband calls it machiavellianism. My prayer is that GRACE will find all that needs to be found, so that ABWE can be changed from the inside out.
beautifully written. Thank you.
Many may not know, but in 1987 DK received the Outstanding Service Award as an alumnus of Baptist Bible College in PA. I received word this week that the Alumni Council of BBC has voted unanimously to revoke this award. His name has been removed from the BBC website and from the plaque of award winners in Jackson Hall. I want to publicly commend the Alumni Council for taking this important step.
Thankful for those I know personally who helped BBC get the important information they needed to make that happen, to prevent the school any further embarrassment from being kept in the dark by ABWE on such a crucial matter as one of their “outstanding alumns” being a pedophile.
It is a shame that people outside ABWE had to take these important steps to notify BBC–who should have been told a few things by ABWE administrators in 1989 or even in 1987, when the award was given and it was already known that DK struggled with morality and fidelity and was not a person to be held up as an outstanding alumnus.
To Rob, – thanks for letting people know. To those at BBC – bravo! I am proud that my alma mater acted in such public way to make a statement against this man’s wicked deeds.
We join in praising our Lord because of the decisions by the ABWE Board, first to submit to a third party investigation and then for selecting G.R.A.C.E.
We also thank the many people in the A.B.W.E. family who have worked diligently to reach these decisions, most of whom we don’t know by name. So we thank the A.B.W.E. Board, Members of the Advisory Council, many people in the Administration, the two Missionary/Administrators who were appointed to head-up the investigation and many more. Most of you had no idea of the sordid truths before they were revealed in the Blog. Thank you for serving faithfully in the midst of your own shock and grief – we know these have been very difficult weeks for you. And thank you to the many A.B.W.E. missionaries and pastors of churches who have been advising A.B.W.E. throughout this month.
With grateful hearts,
Ed and Dona Martin
I have been praying for and with you that ABWE would hire GRACE to investigate the abuse and cover up. Now that the board has taken that step, I rejoice with you. I will continue to lift up this process before the Lord, as I realize there is still a long road to travel. Throughout the time I have been following your story, the Lord has impressed on me that He WILL be glorified through this. I am looking forward to see how our amazing God will turn things around in His truth and light!
Rejoicing again today in the decision to hire GRACE.
Amen!
Glad for the efforts of ABWE board and administrators to begin truly righting a HUGE wrong.
Praise the Lord for getting GRACE involved.
Let me preface this by saying that I am the wife of the ex-husband of one of the victims and I want her to know how much both of us love her and care about her, and hold no bad feelings against her. We have both seen first hand, my husband more than I, how devastating this abuse has been. I am so sorry for all the years you have had to suffer and are still suffering. We are praying for you daily and your healing. We love and the children very much.
Wow! This is so very powerful!
Glory to God! Thanks so much! love you all in that family!
As a former missionary that served on a mission board similar to ABWE, I am not shocked at all by the alleged cover up byABWE. In my fifteen years of missionary experience, far too often the mission boards, boards that local churches put far to much faith in to do the right thing, would sacrifice truth and fidelity to Jesus Christ and the Word, to protect their cleverly crafted public images.
To answer Steve and Pam’s question why DK was allowed to return to the field when there were serious allegations of sexual misconduct surrounding him, we need only to remember that DK was a vested member of the proverbial, “Good old boy’s club.” ABWE was simply protecting one of their own by shielding DK from facing the full impact of his criminal, and morally reprehensible, actions. As bad as DK’s crime and moral behavior is, I believe strongly that the cover up is as bad as, if not worse than, the crime and behavior by DK.
As a local church pastor of a church that supports many missionaries affiliated with ABWE, I will say this: if the cover up by ABWE is independently substantiated, I will work tirelessly to end all financial support given our local church to this immoral organization. This means that we will give our missionaries the option of either losing our financial support for continuing to serve with ABWE, or they can continue to receive our financial support by finding another mission board serve with. Unfortunately, I do not think that the other boards are much better when it comes to protecting their image in lieu of truth, but as least the other affiliated boards have not, at least not publicly, sunk to this amazing low.
For all of you that are applauding ABWE for enlisting GRACE, consider holding your applause. When an organizations like ABWE enlist a ministry like GRACE at the onset of allegations like the ones above, they should be applauded. However, after the story breaks, especially if the allegations of a cover up are 20 years old, the organization should be booed. After all, isn’t a reactive response to a story like this just an attempt to do public damage control to the organization – to continue to give their organization cover?
Each church must think carefully about how God would have them respond. Hiring GRACE was a really good step, but churches do need to remember that it took this blog and the incredible publicity some of us worked tirelessly to get, to cause ABWE to move away from denial in this matter.
So churches must consider how God would have them respond.
ABWE has asked that judgment be withheld until the independent investigation is complete, and I agree that for innocent missionaries who knew nothing of any of this, sweeping movements like discontinuing support should be put on hold until the investigation is complete. However, churches should not stop asking ABWE the hard questions. Who knew what? When? And why did they make no effort to inform proper authorities?
Churches should be asking these hard questions of those who work at headquarters until they are satisfied with the answers.
— Tamara
1st John has some wonderful verses about truth and light.
God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
Thank you to the Pastor and board of the sending church of the 14 year old for the “family meeting” last evening after church. Thank you to the Pastor for perhaps the best explanation, definition and examples of forgiveness, and repentance and reconciliation I have ever heard. Too many times we have pushed for forgiveness from the offended party, when the offending party had not shown or intended to show real repentance. Yes, it is necessary to forgive, however I believe much hurt has been done when forgiveness is pushed and the offender is not really showing true repentance, thus compounding the original sin. Thank you for striking the right balance of honesty, openness, and humility. It was healing oil to many wounded hearts and greatly appreciated. Another giant step was taken in the healing process for all of those who were so intimately affected. Truly when the truth is brought out into the light a giant load is lifted from the shoulders of the offended party. Relief was visible on many faces. Thank you Pastor for hitting “a home run out of the park”.
Pam, as a pastor, it is so exciting to hear about healing through local church ministry! Thank you for this testimony! Please contact me at davedecook@mac.com to discuss how we can share this with those who need it most.
Dave DeCook
I would be interested in seeing your pastor’s points. Could you post them here? How wonderful it is to hear about the healing that occurred!
I want to thank you too Pastor, from the bottom of my heart. It was a huge step in restoration and healing.
I have noticed several posts calling for the ABWE board to resign. I am not sure this is the wisest move in the long term. Once the board members resign, they can “disappear” either out of the country or by “blending in” with the general population, and not be held accountable in person to give a 100% truthful complete account of their actions for the past 50+ years. Just my thoughts from accounts of other business people caught in wrongdoing.
Agreed. Most board members are just learning of the truth in these matters. The ABWE board of directors is not to blame for the cover up. Most are good people (the ones we’ve heard of anyway), and most knew nothing, from what I understand.
They should be given an opportunity to lead in the right way, now that they have the truth, or at least much of it. So far, they have done good things. Not perfect, but good. They are turning the ship around.
As for other resignations, I agree there should be some from headquarters. But the board may need time to figure all of that out, and I do have a few ounces of trust left to give them the time to do that in a way that will be above reproach. Not reactionary, but based on evidence and time to weigh what is right and wrong and what is best for ABWE’s ministry around the world.
I do still have some trust left for that.
I want to add my sincere expression of gratefulness and appreciation for the sincere demonstration of the pastor’s heart at a called business meeting last evening relating to the 14 year girl. Also, the pastor’s explanation of forgiveness and repentance was so well explained. My prayer is that many pastors will deal with this issue of repentance in a true manner as dictated in the Scriptures. Too often there is remorse and not repentance. The young lady threw her arms around my daughter and I and expressed the fact that a load has been lifted. Sometimes this 88 year old lady doesn’t always get things said as I wish but from the bottom of my heart “Thank you., Pastor”
At my local church where I tithe, I am well aware of my board members. Since the churches support ABWE, shouldn’t they know the board members.
Given Russ Lloyd’s profession/degree, I hold him extremely responsible for the actions surrounding the 14 yr old. If he didn’t know enough in his training regarding protecting a minor, then he should have consulted someone that did. The parents should have been brought to the US and a professional should have been brought in immediately. I am sorry that I have not seen an apology from him directly to the girl and her family. Maybe I missed it.
We would not need to see an apology, but it would be good for us to know if there was, or is one. From either of the Russes. Anyone know?
Re: knowing the board members – it baffles me that who the board members are is unknown. To you pastors whose churches support ABWE missionaries, is this true?
Actually, it baffles me why there isn’t a page on the ABWE site that lists board members. Or is there and I’ve missed it?
Nope. They are still a secret society. I hope that will change and they will one day be free from that way of thinking that caused them to ever feel the names of board members needed to be secret. I hold out hope.
To Our Moderators:
Since I am not a BD MK I feel I should ask permission from you ladies who were so abused by DK. I have raised the issue earlier, and at least one other person has raised the same issue.
Is it time to alert the national news media of this issue and this blog? I feel sure that if Bill O’Reilly at the Fox News Network aired this story, it may get the attention of the Michigan Medical Boards and the Family Practice in Allendale, MI. Mr O’Reilly always tries to be “fair and balanced” and will try to get both sides of the story.
I will be happy to try to email this information to the Fox News Network; but there is, of course, no guarantee they will take any action.
Again, since I am not a BD MK, I feel I should get your permission before just going ahead and doing it on my own. Thank you for your time on this post.
May God continue to bless and heal you, and lead everyone in the path that will bring ultimate justice to the guilty and Glory to the Lord.
.
In response to “is it time to alert the national news media ”
I would strongly caution this move. Although it is stated that Bill O’Reilly at the Fox News Network is “fair and balanced” there are no guarantees. Also realize that other news shows may try to pick it up as well and I highly doubt it will be fair and balanced.
It is not for me to decide, but I would hate to see a news show get this and spin it around in an skewed way that hurts the victims. I just dont trust the media. So I guess I emplore people to proceed with caution and seek advice before purposely going that route.
God Bless and I continue to pray for healing and truth.
Mr. O’Reilly is not a journalist. He is a political pundit (fair and balanced is a discussion for another day and another site). His show would rarely be the proper forum to investigate such a story.
There are actually a few “angles” to this story: DK’s medical license status and additional victims in his practice (potentially); ABWE’s initial response, cover up and current actions; and the stories of each individual woman and their families.
The DK story can mostly be told on its own. But ABWE and the survivors, those stories need each other and much of the control for telling it is with the women. Those involved with this blog (survivors and family members) should be the ones to decide whether the story belongs in the press at this time. I know they have information about how to proceed, if they choose to do so, because I have offered some of my professional expertise and contacts to them. But it is their story to tell, to whomever, wherever, and however they want to.
Just because you have not seen anything in the media regarding DK’s status in Michigan does NOT mean that the Michigan Medical Board is unaware and/or not acting. Investigations take time (life is not an episode of Law & Order) and should be done carefully. I am sure that media in Michigan are monitoring the story there, from DK’s angle, even if a story has not yet been published or aired. So far there has been no “new” news on the DK front, so until there is, no media outlet is going to write anything yet.
I will emphasize here what I said in a comment on a different post. The blog itself is a basic form of journalism. When and if the MKs decide to change the media is entirely up them. But it is serving its purpose in a true journalistic fashion. Keep it up!
Producers at several major news outlets all know this blog exists, because a lot of different people are telling them. You might think there are no Christians in the “liberal media,” but you’d be wrong.
If anyone posts here, thinking that the world is not watching, they are wrong.
How we, as Christians, respond to such a matter as this is right now on display. Every time we post here, what we say to the victims, how we treat them and their stories, how we talk about their abuser, all of it–we are showing the world who we are and what we believe about right and wrong when it comes to pedophiles.
Very good point! Remember the verse that says that what you whisper will be shouted from the rooftops? It is more possible than you could imagine!
I would like to challenge ABWE board members and all that have been involved with any of the decisions in question (and perhaps some we are unaware of) to enlighten me (all of us) as to the scriptural basis and the biblical principles for:
-Encouraging/operating a “code of silence”
-The concept that it is wrong to air “dirty laundry”
-That we should not question those deemed to be more spiritually astute (mature)
-Perception (image) is more important (to our Lord) than the truth
-That the ends justify the means
There may be more, but these were either stated directly or inferred from posted comments and the reaction to the blog. If this information was already presented, I apologize.
As a pastor of a local church, and a brother in Christ who just finished reading 2 Corinthians this morning for my daily devotions, I can assure you that there is no scriptural basis for any of the above points. The above points do not come from the Bible, but they do come from the play book of abusive churches and religious organizations (see David Johnson, & Jeff VanVonderen’s, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, 1991).
I agree wholeheartedly with Wickersham’s assessment and your viewpoint, MK. None of those concepts are remotely close to the teachings of Jesus.
They are, on the contrary, the methods used by those who are inflicting harm either intentionally or unintentionally, and by those who have something to hide. It’s spiritual abuse. It’s also how cults are born.
We have to run from those ways of thinking if we are to be healthy and transparent.
As I read 2 Corinthians, I was very impressed how virtually every chapter of this book is filled with a clarion, call from God to the church, especially to its leaders, to be transparent, honest, humble, and forthright.
If you are one of those who think that “encouraging a code of silence” or “airing dirty laundry” is not God honoring, then cut Psalm 32, and Psalm 51 out of your Bible.
What Donn K. did is wicked. What ABWE allegedly did is worse-it stinks. I think that it would be very God honoring if the messengers of the churches would get together at the GARBC Annual Conference in June, 2011, and act biblically by breaking the code of silence and publically airing out this dirty laundry. However, this will probably never happen.
For reference I’ve posted those Psalms here:
Psalm 32
Of David. A maskil.
1 Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the LORD does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!
Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I would discourage going to the secular media about this issue. They are primarily driven by ratings, not truth. They are inclined to use issues like this one to put Christians in a bad light. The Apostle Paul advises believers through inspired Scripture to make every effort to address such questions in a spiritual environment (I Corinthians 6). This is our problem, and we should show we can deal with it in an equitable manner. However, when laws are broken, believers have redress in the courts. The media will only muddy the waters promote greater confusion. Let’s stick to the investigative work of G.R.A.C.E. and see where that leads.
We are asking that ABWE administrators, staff, missionaries, MKs and affiliated churches fully cooperate with the investigation by G.R.A.C.E. into the sexual abuse by Donn Ketcham and the long term cover up of the abuse by ABWE. We are not currently pursuing a group interview with news agencies at this time. However, individuals who were abused can choose whether or not to make their personal story public anytime they wish. As a group, we are not ruling out the public media option, we may use it if in the future it becomes evident that the cover up continues. We do have several news agencies chomping at the bit to cover this story. A news agency near ABWE’s headquarters is calling on a daily basis asking for an interview. ABWE is being given this last opportunity to make it right by working with G.R.A.C.E. The whole story will be told eventually, either by G.R.A.C.E. or by the media.
The abused will not be silent forever.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I was talking with my dad today about our pursuit of truth. He compared it to a race- a marathon rather than a sprint.
I think we need to remember that the investigation will take some time- more time than any of us would like.
There are many individuals involved and each story needs to be heard.
Our goal (the finish line) is the WHOLE TRUTH.
For now, think about this quote by Jerry Lynch.
“Concentrate on small segments of your race at a time.
For example, rather than obsessing about the distance that remains, simply complete the next mile in good form…try another, then another, until the race is done.”
We are making progress.
The next mile… a formal agreement between ABWE and GRACE regarding the investigation.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
James, the problem is that sometimes even courts won’t pay attention without news media breathing down their necks for them to take action. Sadly sometimes even DA’s don’t open up hard-to-win cases without pressure and a lot of eyes on them to do what is right and not what is easy.
It is truly up to individuals to tell or not tell their stories when asked by news media to talk. And up to them to decide who they trust to tell the story, who they don’t, and how God might use that opportunity.
Ultimately, to say “no” to media or “no comment” implies that we have something to hide, and, as for me, I do not have anything I wish to hide, nor do I ever want to be counted among Christians who repudiate speaking truth in ALL environments.
If we are transparent, we are transparent. Period. And people will interpret what we say and what we do, and they will misunderstand or misconstrue and that is part of life and the risk you take in NOT trying to manage your own image and be your own PR–which would be to live life in fear and paranoia, which I do not believe we are called to do.
And I do believe that to use Scripture to tell abuse victims that they should not talk to media outlets about their abuse is the very definition of spiritual abuse. People think spiritual abuse is being mean or ugly and it’s not. It’s politely telling someone to do something wrong (keep silent or hide truth) and telling them it’s right (what the Apostle would have us do …). And using, I would go so far as to say twisting, Scripture to back it up. I don’t think Paul ever talked about national news networks who run hour-long exposes on sinful people–not last I checked anyway. So who are you to tell an abuse victim that Paul would tell her not to talk to Elizabeth Vargas about her abuse? That is essentially what you just did.
James, this is not “our” problem. It is not “us” vs. “them.” We live here in this country and a serial pedophile is not locked up. This is everyone’s problem, from DK’s neighbor to every patient he’s seen over the last 22 years. It’s not just about a bunch of Christians.
This is NOT “our” problem. That kind of thinking is very disrespectful of all of the non-Christians out there who may have been his victims or may yet BE his victim. Thinking that it’s “our” problem and fearing the light of exposure of any kind is what got ABWE into decades of covering for DK.
I certainly didn’t mean to imply that the victims of abuse should never talk to the media. This website is in itself a part of the media, but it is a medium where truth can be promoted and the cause of Christ protected against the usual “hatchet jobs” that the media frequently does on Christians. I believe this website is the preferred medium for dealing with the problem, and it appears that positive steps are underway to do just that. Some of the reporters and TV personalities who have been suggested have their own agenda. Anyone who believes that Chris Matthews is honest or that Bill O’Reilly is “fair and balanced” is naive. Their axe to grind is not necessarily what is best for the victims.
This website has promoted an investigation by G.R.A.C.E., and it has finally achieved that ABWE should submit to the same. If something illegal has been done (and I agree it most certainly appears so), then legal authorities should become involved. If ABWE has covered this up (and it seems clear that some in the administration — both past and present — have done so), then churches and ABWE missionaries should know about it, and decisions should be made by both regarding whether ABWE should be trusted as a sending agency.
No, the Scriptures do not say that abuse victims should be quiet nor fail to appeal to higher authorities to remedy the abuse; Romans 13 clearly says that government is for the punishment of evildoers. I clearly advised that the victims should do this whenever necessary.
When I said, “this is our problem,” I meant that it is first a spiritual issue that should prompt the victims to resort to spiritual measures to confront the problem of repentance and forgiveness. This they have done to the present, in my opinion. I was not ignoring the larger public who might yet be threatened by ongoing behavior of DK.
If accredited members of the Church and its investigative agencies fail to resolve the issues, then an appeal might be made to outside institutions to give recourse to the offended parties, but mainly for the purpose of bringing the perpetrator to justice and protecting others from continued abuse. When violations of the law have occurred, of course it is the courts that must mete out judicial punishment. At that point perhaps the media might be involved in explaining the facts of the case to the general public.
It just seems to me that I Corinthians 6 calls on believers to act as responsible judges of wrongdoing insofar as possible to avoid hanging dirty linen out before the world. Surely, you are not implying that Paul’s words in I Corinthian 6 have no application for today simply because the modern media did not exist in his day? In I Corinthians 5, Paul deals with the sin of incest/adultery within the parameters of the local church.
I haven’t heard anyone on this website make reference to Jesus’ teaching on “offending children,” but it is clear that He puts such sin in the context of capital punishment in Matthew 18.
I concur in Jesus’ statement even though such offenses would not be punished in this way unless the death of the child occurred.
Tamara, I did not mean to water down your views on the seriousness of abuse. In my own extended family, we have had to deal with this. I’m on your side, but I think we are all trying to find our guidance from Scripture. Sometimes the church does not address a problem correctly, and even the law does not practice justice. In such cases, we are left with Paul’s counsel to accept defrauding and wrong with the grace that God supplies to all those who suffer wrongfully as believers and with the confidence that the injustices we experience in this world will ultimately be made right in the presence of the Lord.
Thank you for clarifying your last post. One reason the issues here are so complex is because there are multiple types of abuse being discussed.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
PS James, I’m sorry to “call you out” in that way, as I do realize that you meant well, with your post and have been supportive of the victims. I do see that, I want you to know that I see that. But I also see in that particular post of yours, the very line of thinking that got us to this place, and so I felt the words that you used had to be addressed.
We can’t silence people.
Is the potential for damage there when it comes to media coverage? Yes. But there is also a potential for something good. The same was true of this blog. Susannah B. took a great risk and stepped out with truth in faith. God honored it, and continues to honor it by bringing about good as a result.
I have the same faith that if someone were to speak about their abuse to a media outlet it might not automatically be bad, but might instead be an amazing opportunity for good. We don’t know.
And we need to let individuals decide what God would have them do, and give them the room to do that.
Hey, James. Thanks for clarifying your stand. I do believe you support the victims, but we just have to agree to disagree on some other things.
To answer your question, when it comes to 1 Corinthians 6, I actually think Paul is addressing disputes and lawsuits. Disagreements that require legal intervention, such as business deals gone bad or loans defaulted on or things of that nature. I don’t think he’s talking about anything in that passage as serious as what we’re talking about here. Even in 1 Corinthians 5, with the incest, Paul seems to be talking about consenting adults. So to answer your question, it’s not that I think Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 5 or 6 have no application today, it’s that I think they have no application to this particular matter that we’re talking about. (OTHER than the fact that as a sexually immoral person DK should have been expelled from ABWE decades before he was. There are quite a few verses in those two chapters about where Paul stands with immorality, and he draws a hard line.)
As for what the Bible MIGHT have to say about a victim of abuse telling her story to Anderson Cooper or Meredith Viera, it might speak to her attitude and her motives in parts, but I think you would be hard-pressed to find Scripture that would indicate clearly that she should keep her mouth shut when given the opportunity to share her testimony on a national stage, and that’s why I take issue with you instructing abuse victims with Scripture to stay quiet. You seem to have clarified that it wasn’t really your intent, but that’s how it came across, and you reiterated the idea that we should not air our dirty laundry for the world.
We’re talking about something very, very specific. A woman who has suffered abuse, going on national television to talk about it. And I take issue with the fact that there is a lack of CLEAR instruction in this area, and yet you spoke as if there were. If you believe that there is clear instruction there–clear enough to tell other people you don’t even know what God would want them to do or not do if presented with the opportunity to speak nationally about their life and history of abuse on the news–then we must just agree to disagree on that point.
My friend is in her late 40’s. She was abused by Dr Donn Ketcham when she was a little girl. You can’t deal with this in a equitable manner. The media doesn’t put “Christians” in a bad light. The media puts “bad” in the light. It’s just that the fall is harder when it is a Christian because they are supposed to know better and the world knows that. My friend went to ABWE in spiritual manner – she also went to a hospital, doctors and took to the bed because no one responded in a Biblical manner.
Could you hire a lawyer for her? Maybe the secular Anderson Cooper could find one for her?
Several times a day for weeks now I’ve been reading this blog. My reasons are many, but there is one which stands out to me today. From my earliest childhood memories a prayer card with a picture of the Walsh family hung in my family’s home. It did not hang there in vain. We prayed for you. When you came to our church we took in every word you said. Our family supported you through our local church. This was the way we knew to show you love. Reading this blog is now to me what that prayer card was – a reminder to continue to pray for the Walsh family, and now many others, and to tell you that you were and always will be more than a picture on a prayer card.
I am so sorry that this happened, outraged by how it was handled, and resolved to do anything possible to see that it never happens again.
Tammy,
It’s just that I tend to trust the Church and wise believers more than I usually trust the media. I could see how you might wish to limit I Corinthians 6 to lawsuits about mundane matters, but to be exact, Paul says: “How much more things that pertain to this life?” and “Are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?” (and I might add without contradiction “the largest or most serious matters”). We can disagree on this one.
I don’t mean to give the impression that these ladies should be quiet about their abuse. This website (which I strongly support) is certainly a venue for being vocal. I was simply questioning the propriety of speaking to the media in general at this point. You’ve heard the saying that “one should repeat a thing only to those who are either part of the problem or part of the solution.” My experience with the media in general is that they are simply looking to sensationalize, gossip, and “stir the pot,” and quite often the innocent parties wind up being questioned, slandered, and abused.
Though we may differ on these fine points, I continue to support this cause, to pray for the victims and their families, and to try to understand the hurt that you have suffered. I will be quiet and not offer any further opinion or counsel for the time being, and simply wait on the Lord with you for His intervention and resolution.
God bless.
I have the greatest confidence in placing this investigation in the hands of G.R.A.C.E. The credentials of their board members are excellent. Insofar as taking this matter into the secular media–that may be necessary; having worked in Christian circles for 50 years I will say that oft times Christians have proven not to be trusted and oft times bring on their criticism themselves . Many times the world has proven their standards of right and wrong put us to shame as Christians. So–proceed with confidence that our God is in this step, and if need be for more pressure consider a reliable secular news media. Use a sensible head with real practicality.
As to the question of who serves on the ABWE board and why those names aren’t available…I can tell you that the names of the both the Board and Advisory Board were frequently publised in the Message a few years ago. It appears that there has been a growing “policy of secrecy” under the current administration. You’d think that in this day of information the names of the Board, along with the current Adminstrators, would be readily available on the website of any international organization. If you visit the website of TEAM (a comparable organization) at http://www.teamworld.org you’ll find the names of both the US & Canadian Boards along with other Mission Representatives. On the ABWE site the only person that is identified is Dr. Michael Loftis. Not sure what that’s about, but that can’t really be good, can it? So, here’s the question…Since Michael Loftis is the only person identified on the ABWE website (in a leadership position), why does the Mission Confession come from the unidentified Board and not President Loftis? It’s just a thought!?
It is with a broken heart, I’ve been reading about what has happened. Men who I have respected over the years have now been shown to have covered up what should have been dealt with many years ago. If ABWE had followed scripture, the matter should have been placed before DK’s home church for the church to apply church discipline to the offender. But instead the church was deceived. Matthew 18 and I Corinthians 6 were not followed and now it really does not accomplish anything to debate what should be done. Let GRACE do it’s job and then we will see if ABWE is serious about dealing with this problem or not. Then churches and pastors can decide what is an appropriate Biblical response. Until then, our prayers are with you dear sisters that have suffered so.
I am guessing one of the reasons ABWE does not publish their board members is that it would cause some trouble among some of their more extreme fundy supporting churches. I remember 10-15 years ago, getting obscure e-mail letters from fundy watch dog organizations pointing out who the board members were of ABWE, which (gasp) included a woman! They also pointed out a few other board members and their affiliations with non-fundy organizations as proof that ABWE was going down the road of compromise. I wonder if ABWE keeps it off their web page because it becomes more trouble than its worth, especially if part of your constituency still includes some more extreme fundy churches supporting you.
I can see the more trouble that its worth reason. If it is tip-toeing around to not lose support, where is Paul calling out Peter on legalism? Those groups will always find something to criticize even if it is that you sneezed in an ungodly manner.
I don’t know how legit those reasons/excuses are. Seems like more of the same stuff we’ve been talking about here. Not being real (honest) for fear of man. I understand how it happens because (speaking as an ABWE missionary) we just want to be on the field doing the work, so we compromise sometimes, allowing churches to think certain ways about their missionaries that might not be correct. Or we take support from churches that we don’t necessarily think are representing Christ as they should in their neighborhoods because we just want to be in our countries doing our job. I believe there is a lack of transparency in this area, just as there was a huge lack of transparency in this huge DK debacle.
And I think ABWE should be more transparent and list their board members on their site!
we just want to be on the field **doing the work**
we just want to be in our countries **doing our job**
Whose work? Whose job? God’s job for you (or me) at this moment might be to be sick in bed with the flu. Does being sick in bed mean I can’t glorify Him as much as when I am well and out preaching?
“Whatever you do…”
“With all your heart, soul and mind”
I propose that if you or I do not walk in integrity, all our “ministry,” our “work” is nothing but wood, hay and stubble, no matter HOW many people God brings to Himself in spite of us.
1 Cor. 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
For almost a decade I have been perplexed (and sometimes amused) by how ABWE’s CEO has seemed to relish his role as the “face” of the mission. Now, in his corporation’s darkest hour, how long will the “face” be content to let VP Beckett serve as the “voice” of ABWE? I rather agree with My2Cents that the Mission Confession from an anonymous board highlights the deafening silence of those within ABWE who have known of this tragedy since 2002…or 1989…or…
The question I ask is WHY? Why does the Board of this organization remain in the shadows? Why do they continue to refuse to identify themselves? To what end? Will they never indentify themselves? It seems that the “leaders” of this mission agency have neither the courage or courtesy to respond to a simple request of their constituency…tell us who you are. Why is that an unreasonable request? No corporation or local church could ever get away with operating under such a cloak of secrecy. ABWE claims to exist to serve the local church…it appears that it really exists to serve itself! The truth is we all know WHY. The Board has been instructed by legal counsel to respond this way. How sad that they would set aside character and principle in order to cover their corporate butt! How sad that they would just now, regarding themselves, finally become concerned with legal matters!
“…we should not blame the secular media for their reports on these scandals, nor should we dodge their questions. We are witnessing events that are not only newsworthy but salacious. We know in advance that the reporters neither understand nor sympathize with us. We must go out of our way to avoid any appearance that we have something to hide.”
http://centralseminary.edu/resources/nick-of-time/324-responding-to-the-scandal
Please go to this website and read this timely article, Responding to the Scandal, written by Kevin T. Bauder of Central Baptist Theological Seminary of Minneapolis. It will make you proud to know that there are still leaders out there speaking the truth in love.
This statement in that article I found particularly problematic:
Yes, the adolescent ought to know what is right and wrong—but our job is to protect youngsters from having to make adult choices. They are not yet prepared for those choices, and we must not treat them as if they were.
An adolescent knows right from wrong? Yes, but what does that mean. Does that mean it is the responsibility of the adolescent (or child) in that situation to make a “choice” if the adults failed in their responsibility, as the writer described, to protect them from “adult choices?” That is ridiculous and offensive, and probably part of the problem.
A child is NEVER responsible for the abuse that happens to them. Even if they walk into a room with a sign on that says “touch me inappropriately.” Do you not think the adult doesn’t prey on their notions of obedience and respect, honor and love? Nothing that 14-year-old did or didn’t do, or any of DK’s other victims, had anything to do with right or wrong on their part. It was about his evil behavior. Period. No more should be said.
And pastors, ministry officials, etc. have more than a moral responsibility to report abuse. It is the LAW. You can, and should, go to jail if you don’t.
Sorry all, I didn’t mean to get so riled. But don’t take your eyes off what happened here. Nothing that happened back then was in any way shape or form the fault, or the responsibility, of the children.
Have a blessed rest of Holy Week and a glorious Easter celebrating the Resurrection of our Lord God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Rebecca –
The entire paragraph from which you quote needs to be noted:
“Furthermore, we must reject any temptation to blame the victims. An adolescent of thirteen or fourteen is an unequal match for an adult of thirty, especially if the adult is wrapped in the mantle of authority. Yes, the adolescent ought to know what is right and wrong—but our job is to protect youngsters from having to make adult choices. They are not yet prepared for those choices, and we must not treat them as if they were.”
I venture to say that Kevin Bauder is in total agreement with you and that what you are saying is exactly what he is saying in the article. Bauder’s point is that men (pastors) have too often held an adolescent child responsible for “knowing better”. He states that while yes, they probably do or at least should know that this is wrong, we cannot hold them responsible for what has happened to them because they are “no match” for the adult, especially one who is an “authority” over them and abuses that authority. To me, he states clearly that we must REJECT that temptation to hold them in any way responsible.
Men are flat-out wrong for putting children in the position of having to make the adult choices of a) refusing the perpetrator and/or b) reporting the perpetrator. No matter how good your intentions are, how pure the motives, it is dead wrong to hold an adolescent responsible for being the victim of child abuse. (With the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place….in NO WAY is that a child’s fault.)
I think he agrees with you completely.
I read the whole paragraph, and the whole article. I think the statement I quoted is accurate on its own as a reflection of one of the problems you all are dealing with here: an incomplete or inaccurate understanding of what makes abuse abuse and what makes predatory behavior so evil and damaging.
There should not even be a statement about “an adolescent” knowing right from wrong, and coupling that with how adults shouldn’t put them in position to make those choices. Think of the victim/survivor not as someone with ANY role to play here. That is how it should be. They are as innocent (and by that I mean they do NOT know right from wrong in this particular case) as a rabbit before the gaping mouth of the wolf. Because they do not possess the framework to know right from wrong in these situations (they may even feel physical pleasure and desire it without the context for what is going on), they have zero responsibility.
I do agree with him that it is the role of the adults to protect them, but it is not from having to make adult choices. It is to protect them from further “knowledge of good and evil.”
I think you are right, Rebecca. This is not about whether an adolescent “knows right from wrong.” It is about the fact that they are children and people who are in positions of authority are abusing them, and using their position of authority to do so. We are not talking about some “pagan, outsider” breaking in and molesting children. We are talking about parents, pastors, teachers, youth leaders, etc taking advantage of the innocence of children and using authority, even Scripture, to intimidate the children into submission and compliance.
Speaking of “knowing right and wrong,” what do we normally teach our children, in our Baptist Fundamental churches? Children are taught to obey their parents, in everything . . . to honor them. They are taught we must submit to those in authority over us. The church teaches obedience and submission to church leaders. So what happens to these same children when some of these same adults abuse them, tell them to keep secrets, tell them they must obey and be submissive. What is right and wrong now? Is it right or wrong to obey these adults in this type of situation?
It’s not about knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is all about adults using children for selfish, sinful, immoral, illegal purposes. Period!
A CREEPY PEDOPHILE TOUCHED YOUR DAUGHTERS INAPPROPRIATELY! DO SOMETHING! BE MEN, STAND UP FOR YOUR CHILDREN! STOP BEING WEAK MEN AND MOUSY WOMEN!!
** SOMEONE HIRE A REAL LAWYER AND GET SOME PROFESSIONAL REPRESENTATION FOR THESE VICTIMS, PLEASE!! An insider? SHAME ON THAT INSIDER! GET OUTSIDE AND DO SOMETHING BECAUSE GOD KNOWS, YOU DIDN’T BEFORE!! AMEN!
(ABWE is not going to do anything real, they don’t have too! Nothing has been formally filed. They must have a good lawyer.)
p.s. Some of us made the race longer than it had to be!
“We have received the proposal from GRACE at the end of last week. It is now in the hands of all the board members for questions and desires for clarification. We are preparing our questions for GRACE to be sure we have clarity at the outset. Our desire is to complete the process and agreement within 30 days.”
While I am not surprised that it takes so long, I am saddened that there needs to be a process. You offered the ABWE, time and time again, the opportunity to do the right thing. So much time has already passed, so much more time as the ABWE tried to do damage control and contain or control the exposure. These facts could have been brought to the media from the onset, this could have been a huge ugly feeding frenzy of media persons vying for the story and the horrifying details, and yet you took a path of honor and patience and love. You showed love toward the ABWE. I am in awe of the dignity you have all shown; your journey has been an example to me of true Christian love and commitment to follow God’s path.
Isn’t this a very black and white issue? How is this a process? As an organization, and as individuals representing the organization, in the past they made choices that were bad, that were inexcusable, that defied logic, and in my opinion, some were even illegal. Now, they have to own up and “walk their talk”. A process? No, this is not a process. ABWE needs to sign the contract. They need to give full authorization to GRACE to speak to anyone, to look through any record or search any file drawer, to dig into whatever pile they are trying to keep swept under a rug. How is that not clear? Why does it seem like they are dragging their feet and trying to make mud where there should be transparency? How can there be a need for clarification? That implies they want to limit or control the investigation.
I am not an MK, but I am from Grand Rapids, MI. When I first saw this story on the news, I was shocked and outraged. It made no sense. A known pedophile was allowed by the ABWE to return to the states and to build a family practice? They enabled him. How insane is that? The ABWE put my daughters at risk; DK could have been the Dr. that I brought my young daughters to. The ABWE knowingly put all young girls from the Grand Rapids, Allendale, Wyoming, Kentwood and all points in between, at risk. They did not name him as a pedophile but they did cover his crime.
They knew he had numerous affairs, they knew he violated a young girl, they knew he molested more than 1 young girl, they knew so much about him, they knew! Why do they feel they have the luxury of time to ask questions of GRACE about this investigation before they sign a contract? IF they want to be honest as they state on their own website, “It is our heart’s desire that such an investigation will reveal truth, and that the truth will result in actions that honor Christ and rebuild trust. May God be honored throughout this necessary and critical process”, why would the agreement with GRACE for the investigation to happen have to be made into an additional lengthy process?
I will continue to read this, to watch theABWE’s website and I will continue to pray for all involved. I am inspired by your continued patience and faith.
I so agree! 30 days give the ABWE time to circle the wagons, get their corporate voice in sync, consult with their legal advisors, strategize, and pray that the impact of this blog fades.
But more than all of this it gives them yet another opportunity to be “in control”. The message is, “we will do this when and how we choose to do this”.
I’m truly amazed at how this group of “leaders” continues to get it wrong again and again. Can’t they see that this “professional” and calculated approach to ministry is all wrong? It’s a stench in God’s nostrils, and ours! This is the very thing that will be the undoing of them!
The spin doctors must be getting very dizzy.
Has anyone point blanked asked ABWE for a list of the Executive Board members and the Advisory Board members? It would seem that if it was requested they would have no choice but to give the information. To not do so would cause numerous red flags to wave…..wave more than the fluttering they are now doing!
On another note…how big a say does ABWE have in the agreement for G.R.A.C.E. to do it’s job? I’ll bet if the FBI came in they wouldn’t get to “have a process”!! Does ABWE not know that if they continue to have the final say in every matter there ARE other methods that can be used to expose the truth and get justice? Is it appropriate to keep the blog updated as it pertains to what this “process” will be? Just wondering.
I have no idea if this figures into things, but maybe some of the reason names are not listed (again, not sure how this relates to the board, but…) is because of ministries that are in restricted access countries, where by being affiliated with an openly Baptist, Christian, evangelistic organization could people’s lives at risk: both missionaries and converts. Just a thought – if this is true, could someone from ABWE verify it? It might dispel some of the confusion and appearance of hiding things with evil motives. Thanks.
This doesn’t stop ABWE Canada, as far as I know.
Click here to see ABWE Canada’s Board of Directors.
I find it interesting that a large number of posters sniping at ABWE for the anonymity of its’ board choose to do so anonymously. I realize that some people have good reason to remain anonymous but I strongly suspect that most do not. If you have a criticism to make, stand up and put your name on it. You have requested the ABWE board to reveal names, reveal yours or be quiet. I agree that the names of the board should, in almost all cases, be public. Unless you have a truly legitimate reason to post anonymously , use your name or be quiet. By remaining anonymous you put your self in the same league as the ABWE that you criticize. Part of the reason for the longevity of this “problem” is that some people were not willing to stand up and be counted. Use your name.
Some of you have no idea what is required for a legal proceeding and have no concept of who has the authority to make decisions about what happens to people. You seem to have gotten you legal concepts from television. I would suggest that unless you can identify yourself as a lawyer that you also be quiet on legal issues and the urge to call for court action.
For the record I am posting under my real name.
Appreciate your thoughts, Dr. Morris. We do know some need to be anonymous and do have very good reasons for that, but it’s true that voices have more meaning when we are putting our names and reputations where our mouths are. It’s not comfortable to have your name out there. To be google-able, etc. To be a target for criticism. And to know your words may come back to haunt you if you misspeak or flat-out blow it. But it can be liberating as well. As you said, stand up and be counted. Thanks for your thoughts on that.
— Tamara Barrick Rice
OK. You choose to post under your real name. I choose, for my own reasons, to post anonymously. Does that make my opinion, or the opinions of others who post anonymously less valuable than yours? Do you really think that it is your place to tell me, or anyone else, to “be quiet”? I’m thankful that you don’t get to make that decision for me!
I have to ask, isn’t your focus off and outrage misplaced? Little girls have been sexually abused by a Christian leader…other Christian leaders chose to ignore this and cover it up on several occasions …the innocent girls (now women) have been made to feel responsible and suffer in silence…and the governing Board of the ABWE continues to refuse to publically identify themselves. This is true cause for outrage…not the anonymous post of a blogger.
So, I ask again, how can an anonymous Board truly make a confession? How can a governing Board really take responsibility in anonymity? Girls with names and faces have been sexually abused, how can a nameless Board sit in the shadows and call themselves Christian leaders?
For the record, I will continue to post anonymously and will not be quiet.
Actually, I think, for whatever it is worth, that it is quite hypocritical of you to anonymously criticize an anonymous board. As before, I think that it places you in the same category as the board. If you have a good reason to be anonymous, state the reason.
The specific issue is indeed sexual abuse. However the deeper issue is why this abuse went on so long. I believe that part of the reason is that some people chose to remain anonymous rather than stand up and speak out. Speaking out in that situation would have required names to be known, perhaps a price to be paid. They chose to remain anonymous and the abuse continued.
You can continue to snipe from the darkness, but to me that doesn’t show much courage.
I do agree with you though, I also am glad that I don’t get to decide who posts what.
Dr. Morris:
There is a vast difference between those who have signature authority over a not-for-profit corporation and those who would, to borrow a phrase, snipe at them for their anonymity. The difference is roughly analogous to that between a rapist and a rape victim.
You denigrate people who post here as having “no idea what is required for a legal proceeding and … no concept of who has the authority to make decisions about what happens to people.” Well, juries, Sir, are made up of exactly those kinds of people. Moreover, ABWE does know these things; they pay lawyers to tell them and help them avoid law suits – knowing they have a exposure on many fronts. At this stage, they are no longer protecting your fellow physician, they are protecting themselves.
Calls for legal action are no more inappropriate for laymen than are calls for yearly physicals. Your superior attitude is revolting.
Remember the focus of the blog. It is about children that were sexually abused, DK’s abuse of these innocent children and AWBE’s role.
Sharon, thank you for your comment “Remember the focus of the blog. It is about children that were sexually abused, DK’s abuse of these innocent children and AWBE’s role.”
I am so saddened to see the amount of bickering that goes on that isn’t directly related to the focus Sharon so simply reminded us all of.
I happen to give more credibility to those who put their names out there for the simple fact they are being counted by name. However, I don’t give much credibility to those (named or non named) who pass along accusations based off of assumptions and speculations. So basically that weeds out most of what is on this web site with the exception of what is posted by a BD MK and their families and those who just post to encourage (well, except when the encourager gets put down based off of assumptions and speculations).
So please, folks… respect the purpose, respect the BD MK’s and their families, respect the name of Christ. Please think before you post. Choose your words wisely, and understand we are not all eloquent with words. “You say toe-MAY-toe I say toe-MAH-toe” when we mean the same thing.
Ironic I know, I am anonymous (so I don’t expect much “weight/credibility” on my comment, no problem). But because I am anonymous, I keep my accusations and opinions on the specifics of how this is being handled (by the victims, families, and G.R.A.C.E.) to myself. So for the record, I am anonymous because it could have a negative affect on my job, my career, and my ability to help people. I was fortunate to “learn” this lesson of anonymity when I was “googled” for a work related situation…. fortunately there was nothing out there that negatively affected my ability to help people…. that time.)
I’m wondering if anyone has seen a mission board not be so secretive when one of their own is a moral failure. What did that look like? Did they go with the person to the home church to talk about the sin/crime? Did they help prosecute the person if a crime was committed–here or on foreign soil?
What does this look like in a mission board that does it right?
(I’m not asking to defend ABWE, I’m asking because I’ve never seen one do it right, and am curious about what that looked like.)
I have heard some say that DK should have been turned over to the American Embassy in Dhaka after his confession, and that he might have then been brought back to the States in custody and at least an ATTEMPT could have been made to prosecute him or file civil charges against him, with the mission board’s full backing, approval and financial support for legal fees it would involve if a district attorney could not take it because of foreign soil issues.
It’s an idea … not sure if it’s ever been done.
Kudos to any mission board who has tried!
— Tamara Barrick Rice
My2Cents,
Dr. Stephen Morris is entirely correct to say that you don’t have a right to raise the issue of the anonymity of the ABWE board, since you yourself refuse to disclose your identity. Everyone knows that you have to remove the log in your own eye first. Most of the people on this blog are strongly interested in following the rules of Christian or public discourse. There are plenty of other places on the internet for shooting your mouth off. The quality of this blog is maintained and its purpose is better served by weeding out the flamers and attention-seekers.
I have personally known a few doctors in my life. None of them has ever needed to get on a blog in order to get attention or feel important and they wouldn’t waste their time doing so anonymously. When a doctor puts his name on a blog, he (or she) risks a considerable investment and will only do so if the issue has great merit and if he thinks he has something substantial to contribute. It’s not that a doctor is intrinsically a more valuable person. It’s that we know that they are putting a lot on the line. The higher the risk, the greater the credibility.
Even the least of us who puts his name on this blog is seen by the God who saw the widow’s mite and who knows we have ventured all.
But you have risked nothing.
Dave DeCook
Dave,
Even the least of us who chose not to put his or her name on this blog is seen by God who sees all things. The widow (who was nameless) was only concerned about what God thought of her actions. I am content with that.
While I respect your opinions, and those of Stephen Morris, I disagree! Those who choose to post anonymously, for their own reasons, should not have to answer to anyone else. Furthermore, an anonymous post should not be equated with “sniping” or “shooting off your mouth”.
But all of this is a distraction from the Main Focus…the sexual abuse of little girls and the response of ABWE. The ABWE is an international organization that employs over a thousand people…claims to be accountable to thousands of churches…and is responsible to a constituency of donors that certainly numbers in the tens of thousands. And yet, the Board of ABWE claims a position of anonymity? That is not only absurd, it is unheard of! They are the governing Board of an international organization…they have no right to anonymity! Why are not the names of every ABWE board member readily available on their website?
Dr. Morris could tell you that the names of all 80 members of the National Board of Medical Examiners is listed in the annual report on their website. Or, that the names of the State Medical Board of Michigan (or any other state) are listed on their website. This is basic information that is offered to the public and not considered to be an unreasonable expectation. We would never tolerate these Boards taking a position of anonymity…nor should the contituency of ABWE. If they continue down this path it will be the undoing of the organization!
So, if you insist on shooting the messenger, shoot away. But what about the message?
Good message, My2Cents messenger! I agree with the message. I sincerely hope and pray that there is the kind of house cleaning at ABWE that produces a new corporate culture of transparency. I am convinced that the acceptance of secrecy and some of the opaque ways of doing business at ABWE contributed directly to this sex scandal cover-up as well as to the other abusive practices at ABWE that have been noted on this blog.
I still think the cause will be advanced better with the real names of people wherever possible. The internet is a strange place of words detached from people. Usually people behave better when they know they can be held accountable for what they do and say and they usually treat people better when they know with whom they are speaking. That’s how we do it in the real world. This problem at ABWE needs to be fixed in the real world by real people. When there needed to be a change in our government, a Declaration of Independence was signed. I wonder if the outcome would have been different if it was published anonymously. One thing’s for sure. We wouldn’t talk about John Hancock, who joined 55 others in pledging “their lives, their fortunes, their sacred honor.”
You give an excellent message about why the ABWE board needs to reveal its identity. Now underscore your message by giving your “John Hancock.”
My2Cents – Your response was spot-on. Those who don’t understand the difference between an individual remaining anonymous and a powerful, multi-million dollar organization like ABWE remaining anonymous (and thus unaccountable to anybody) probably should be posting on some other blog. There are many who still do not understand the subtle power of spiritual abuse. ABWE knew who MY supporters were while I was still a missionary with them. They called many of my supporters without my knowledge or permission to a meeting at my home church where they proceeded to tell them that a rapist and serial womanizing national in Bangladesh was a “well-respected Bible teacher and preacher” while I was the one who “stirred up the mud.” So while they knew how to get to my accountability team to try to silence me, they made it impossible to get to theirs in order to counter the lies they told.
To those who are criticizing people who don’t put their real names,
I don’t understand the problem. The request to ABWE is posting names, not to reveal intimate opinions and information about themselves. Writing here reveals opinion and information. Yet, you are essentially dissing anyone here who is unwilling to expose themselves to the world. Perhaps it is as Phil suggests, you don’t understand abuse. I might feel strong enough to stand against one attacker, especially if I can walk away when it becomes too much. Yet, speaking on the web is “to the world.” It is not safe, if only because of my continued battle against shame. It is hard enough to keep in focus that I have no shame. To speak “my shame” to the world? Why? Are you saying then, that a person is only allowed a voice when they can say it all?
For Wendy to speak out as she has is amazing. It must have been a hard decision to make. Making her phone number public exposed her to a past stalker. Speaking here also exposes her to those who would use the information for their own purposes, purposes that might hurt her.
I hope none of the ladies here is further harmed because of daring to put their necks on the line. I’m not willing to put my neck on the line. I see too many standing around with hatchets. Some of them are right here attacking people that need to be anonymous.
Some of us are more fragile. This should be a safe place to speak.
On the names of board-members topic – I am not assuming it is because of this or that (e.g. culture of secrecy) Maybe there is a good reason. Maybe there isn’t. What I don’t understand is why they aren’t there. Does anyone know a board member, or the person who keeps the website, or whoever, and could ask them why?
I am also not assuming to know what it means if a person doesn’t use their real name. Maybe it is for a reason that I consider good, or maybe not. Even if I don’t consider it a good reason doesn’t mean it isn’t a good reason for them. I am not everything. I don’t know everything. I am only one person with one little perspective that hopefully is allowed to contribute to the whole. Hopefully the whole isn’t dominated by a few.
Perhaps it isn’t a culture of secrecy. (or only that) Perhaps there are dominating personalities at ABWE that jump on someone who dares to think or speak differently. That is, not recognizing that there are all types of people. There are no doubt many “voices” on this blog who have never said anything. But they are reading and thinking. Their “voice” matters, even if it never speaks in this format. We don’t all have to be the same.
There are many forms of abuse. Spiritual abuse has been mentioned here. Abuse can be subtle. These attempts, trying to manipulate people, to guilt them into not being anonymous, are abusive. It violates their boundaries as independent persons. For what reason? Is it important what people call themselves here? Does it stymie the purpose of the blog?
Let’s let this be a safe place, a place of helping and healing, not more hurting, not more abuse.
Regarding anonymity in posting, we support someone’s right to post anonymously, especially if they are a victim. We know that some people have their reasons and to disclose their reasons would sort of defeat the purpose of being anonymous to begin with. So we support choosing to be anonymous, although we are very encouraged by those who are willing to stand with us by name and be counted.
Regarding moderating posts and deciding who gets to say what, it is a challenge sometimes, and it’s one we are working through as a team of moderators. Thanks for your patience.
There is a singular advantage to both posting anonymously and allowing such posts, an advantage that may be getting overlooked in the clamor to berate those who “hide behind screen names.”
Anonymous posts can be, and almost have to be, read for their content, apart from the context of personalities. This means that readers have no choice other than evaluating what is said strictly on the basis of what is said, though I suppose they could also choose to ignore them.
Names, in fact, are hardly the most important consideration if we seek to evaluate opinions based on more than statements. What about experience, training, personal relationships with the principals, criminal history?
An illustration may help. Dr. Dolittle (to pick an unlikely name) may suggest that those without legal training refrain from making comments about taking legal action, since it is outside their area of expertise and (probably) experience.
Although we don’t know Dr. Dolittle personally, we know that he is a doctor, not a lawyer. Legal issues are outside his area of expertise, too, though quite plausibly well within his experiences. Why did he neglect to tell us if, and how many, malpractice suits he has been involved in, be it as defendant or witness? Any convictions? Settlements? Would he have more reason to seek to silence opinions than consider them? These have a lot more bearing on the subject than just his name and professional degree.
How do we even know he is who he claims to be? Maybe we could ask to see his birth certificate? It’s happened to more illustrious people than he! Even if he really is who he says he is, and really is a doctor, is he simply trying to overawe us with his superior leaning and position in society?
It is as easy to dismiss Dr. Dolittle’s opinions once we know a little about him as it would be to dismiss, say, my opinions, knowing only that I want to post apart from any baggage my name and professional credentials would bring to the table!
I applaud the Moderators for their sensible and principled stand. It has taken more courage for them to start and maintain this blog than most of us will ever exercise in a lifetime.
My2Cents and Green Lantern,
“The Purpose of this blog,” waaay up at the top of the page laid out the reason for allowing anonymity as making it easier for victims to share their story. The moderators have made it clear, however, that anyone can post anonymously for any reason, which is fine.
I admit that I made my own guess–judgment–that My2Cents was not a victim. If I was wrong and you are a person victimized by Donn Ketcham or the board or leadership of ABWE, then I apologize from the bottom of my heart for adding to the abuse and taking away your personhood or voice in any way or any hurt that I have caused you.
I agree with Green Lantern’s April 23 post that there is a vast difference between an anonymous board with signature authority over a large organization and a person who posts criticism of it anonymously. However, I really struggled with the statement that it is roughly analogous to a rapist and a victim, because it seems more of a difference of degree than a difference of kind.
Upon further reflection, especially in light of Phil Walsh’s example and that of “Jim,” “former ABWE missionary,” and Robert Rapa on this blog, the practice of a large, powerful organization protecting itself with anonymity is rather like a rapist exercising his power over his victim.
So, to all you anonymous posters out there, I am sorry for judging you. I didn’t realize how my stance could be like telling you to submit to a rapist. I don’t know if you have more to lose than I do in giving your name. I don’t know if you have had experiences that make taking that risk exponentially harder for you than it is for me. We all come from different situations.
At the same time, if we on this blog are to be the army of light in this situation, then we have to act completely differently than ABWE. Transparency works towards the ends we are seeking in this blog. The disembodied truth we can read on the internet does not find a counterpart in Scripture. God spoke in many ways, according to Hebrews 1, but seemed to take pains that His mouthpiece had skin on. Finally the Word Himself was made flesh. The ultimate representative of truth is a Person.
Take a moment and notice that many of the victims have posted by name. Many of the rest of us have pondered and marveled at their courage. If you are not one of the victims I still challenge you to ask the Lord to enable you to honor their courage with a fraction of your own.
Dave DeCook
Dave,
Although I have only posted once before with my name, I will do so tonight. I do this to honor the brave women of this blog, and to honor two of my own dear relatives who spoke out against their horrible sexual abuse and sought truth and justice. This blog has helped me work through some “stuff” of my own. It has been sort of a “counselor” to me and helped me to release some of my own shame and guilt.
Dave DeCook,
I think your recent apology was about as nice a thing as I have ever read. We should all be so humble and honest! I am not nearly as impressed by your posting under your real name as I am at your graciousness towards those who differ from you. Refreshing!
As you said, it is acceptable to the moderators of this blog for people to post anonymously, and that should settle the matter. I say it myself, though I shouldn’t: It takes a certain amount of courage to post at all, anonymously or otherwise. It won’t hurt any of us to evaluate each idea independently of names.
If I can say this without sounding like a pedant, we do not know the name of every person who spoke or acted for the Lord in the Bible – “a certain man” here, “a woman” there, without names. But, with the truth.
Again, I salute your courage in posting under your real name. I honor your courage in being able to apologize for affronts given (or potentially given). And, I am thankful that your voice has been added to those calling for justice for the victims. An eloquent voice in a worthy cause.
I’d like to thank Wendy for sharing her horrific story. It saddens me to know that she along with so many others have suffered at the hands of others in such ways. Her willingness to share her story shows a great deal of courage and it is my prayer that her healing will continue.
Can anyone give an update as to the “process” going on between G.R.A.C.E. and ABWE? Basically, I’m wondering if they’ve come to an agreement as to how things will be carried out. I’m sure there are things going on behind the scenes that we don’t need to concern ourselves with, but can anyone tell us if progress is being made and if there are any particular matters we can pray for? You know…just the basics without breeching any confidentialities.
I think of all you gals every day and pray you are experiencing God’s peace and comfort. Have a blessed Easter.
Thanks, Aunt Cheryl. ABWE has not finalized an agreement with GRACE yet. We were told by a board member a few days ago that it would be thirty days, but it was not very clear when that thirty days started. Not sure if it started with the announcement on April 12th or if it started after that point. But all indications seem to be a decision by early May. Wish we knew more, but we don’t.
Thanks for your support!
— Tamara
You’re a dear sweet lady Cheryl P. Thank you so much for your kind words. My love to you and your family,
Wendy
An apology addresses an inconsequential mishap “I’m sorry I stepped on your toes.” A request for forgiveness address a Biblical principle of sin(s) having first asked forgiveness from God and then from the party against whom that sin was committed. Forgiveness proffered does not remove the consequences of that sin.
(Dr.) RHSterkenburg
I want to add my support for what Phil Walsh posted and to the others who have shared similar concerns and experiences with ABWE beyond the original purpose of the blog. No doubt there are those who just want G.R.A.C.E to focus on the abuse handling and to put all of this to rest as quickly as possible. That seems reasonable on one hand, but is the goal to get back to “business as usual” or is it to make the necessary changes that would honor the Lord and ensure that there will be no future need for a blog? What steps has or will ABWE do to ensure transparency? Will G.R.A.C.E be permitted to identify and expose those external factors that contributed to years of silence? Limiting the focus of an independent investigation that does not include all possible causal factors would be similar to a court proceeding where the defense is permitted to throw out evidence based on some technicality. It would seem to be in ABWE’s best interest to not give any appearance of being reluctant or unwilling to cooperate. I do not believe anyone wants ABWE damaged or destroyed, but I also think that God would have them serve Him truthfully and openly.
The following interview with Dr. Wes Stafford on his book, “Too Small to Ignore”,
http://www.faithtalks.com/posts/wess-stafford/ is excellent.
The GRACE report to New Tribes on the Fanda school spoke to the factors that allowed that to happen. (for a non-New Triber even, definitely worth reading!) I imagine the GRACE report will do the same for ABWE. — Recognize also that GRACE is not a legal entity. They will report the facts as found by their investigation and recommendations. It will then be up to ABWE what they do with that information and recommendations.
A positive note re: ABWE is that they agreed to GRACE, and compared (I think?) to NTM, did it relatively quickly. I think NTM received a lot of flak from those who think contrary to us and I’m sure ABWE knew that. I suspect that was in mind as they made their decision. Wouldn’t surprise me if they are encountering outrage from some pastors and people, even some of their own missionaries who think this should remain hidden, and who desire to remain in denial. There are still many who are what my husband would call “old school” who want to keep their spiritual giant heroes intact.
Yesterday was Easter Sunday and I found my head lifted up to the sky with tears dripping down my cheeks as the congregation sang reverently, “I looked up and I saw my Lord a-weeping for my sins.” This blog has deeply impacted me as I identify with the decision-making leadership that failed to properly address the situation(s). I grieve for the known and unknown victims of Doctor Ketcham as well as their families. My plea is not for justice, but for mercy. As I ponder what the victims have endured, three questions permeate the recesses of my mind: (1) Under what circumstances can a pedophile go to heaven? (2) If in heaven, I meet a pedophile who violated one of my children, what will be my attitude? (3) Is there anything I should do now in preparation for that day? The service on Easter Sunday concluded with “I looked up and saw my Lord a risin’ from the grave. Alleluia, he is coming! Alleluia, he is here!”
Last night I watched a PBS special on forgiveness. Ends up it was the “conclusion” – but they said you can watch it online.
The subjects
– a mother who left her husband and children when the kids were 7 and 11 and those now young adult children and husband and her.
– Germany and the holocaust, Reagan visiting graves of German soldiers, civic and individual ramifications
– the Rwanda killings and issues of forgiveness both individually and by country
If DK is Christian, the blood of Christ also cleanses him from all sin, right? But it doesn’t seem right that he wouldn’t suffer in some way, especially if justice doesn’t occur in this world. What about murderers that escape the law? What about the Rwandans who hacked hundreds of their neighbors to death? What does it look like for me to forgive? What changes? What is repentance and reconciliation? I don’t mean the definition that anyone can read in a dictionary or basic book on theology. There are so many questions that those things don’t answer.
Left with questions…
Excellent questions, Debbie, and I hope the blog moderators agree. I have just ordered a book I saw at my brother Dan’s house, called “On Apology” by Aaron Lazare. He is some Ivy League prof and does not write as a Christian, but I have heard the book highly recommended by Christians. There seems to be confusion about the meaning of apologies, repentance, forgiveness, justice, reconciliation and I, for one, would love to see some careful thinking applied to the present case.
Just checked the ABWE website and they
had a list of board members and their email addresses.
Good work Blogers that is a step in the right direction.
Peter Waud
Pastor
Burien, WA
Sadly the “email address” is just board@abwe.org…no change here. All of the board member’s email links go to that address. ABWE will still have control of all the info that comes in. It will be up to people to find ways to contact the individual board members if you want the info to actually go direct to that member.
Not totally true. I didn’t click on all of them, but I came up with at least 3 different addresses. It would not be correct for ABWE to post the addresses of each one without their specific permission. It is also not good practice to post email addresses on public sites because of the spam and ID problems.
I checked each address. The addresses for Ron Berrus and Michael Loftis are specific to Ron Berrus and Michael Loftis, respectively. However, all others go to the general address for the board.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Having the names and an email link is great I think. I don’t think the public needs access to everyone’s personal email accounts. If I have a problem with a company, I don’t find anything more than a general link if that even and never any names. I would think if someone specifically wanted to address an issue with a single board member they could look them up or contact abwe about the best way to get in touch with a specific board member.
Yeah ABWE! Another step in the right direction!
Once again I want to thank Susannah B. for stepping up and out with the courage to begin this blog and to provide the opportunity, painful as it is, to address these issues that are heart rending for so many. Thank you to all of you others as well who have come along side to help in what turned out to be an overwhelmingly positive response (if we can go by the selected postings) of appreciation for the courage that has been shown to try to achieve long overdue justice for those who have not been able to do this as individuals. For all of those who have spoken of their own painful memories of being abused, I express appreciation for your courage and by your example may others both in and out of the ABWE family be encouraged to take the necessary steps to handle in their own lives, the abuse and those troubling memories that may be in their past. May each find peace in their own heart and mind.
This blog has caused many of us to learn more about the sexual abuse of children and teens than we ever wanted to know, especially as we do a little research about the issue. It is sadly astounding how often it happens. Thank God for groups like G.R.A.C.E. who come to the aid of those whose small individual voices were not being heard. Perhaps part of the problem has been that most in our society are either naive or in denial and just want the problem to go away without having to deal with it. “Men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil,” the Apostle John tells us. More light must shine on this topic so that by God’s grace we can reverse this epidemic. And of course, one result of this blog is that light is shining on things done in “darkness.” We are thankful for that. Things are happening.
Thank you to ABWE for now posting the list of board members. I don’t know why they weren’t posted before, but it is good that they are now on the mission’s website. That is another positive result of this blog.
Continued prayers are offered for the mental and spiritual healing of all those who have suffered anything as a result of the sinful actions of a man who had so much and sadly threw it all away. May we guard our own lives. May God strengthen each of you as He has promised He will do, and heal the brokenhearted, bind your wounds, and give you peace and victory in your lives. Each of you is loved by your own family and by your Bangladesh family. And may we each do what we can to educate children and parents and our society so that this sinful world wide problem can be stopped, so that children will not suffer from abuse.
With love and prayers,
And only posting as,
Aunt Barb B {Barrick}
I am half way through a book by Gene Edwards called “Exquisite Agony: Healing for Christians who have been hurt by other Christians.” I highly recommend it. It is unlike any other book I have read. The other book of his I read, “A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness,” was also excellent and unlike anything I had read before. Both are very short, very inexpensive (on Amazon.com) and very readable. They are full of insight, but it comes in a narrative kind of way. This one has provided a real breakthrough for me in understanding one of my favorite passages (Phil. 3:10-11) and has made me ready to apologize to some people over something four years back. If you are at the white hot center of this blog I wouldn’t recommend either of these books until things cool a little, because it might be hard to receive. But I must testify that I am being touched by this book over the biggest hurts I ever received. The back cover says, “Pain suffered by a Christian at the hands of another believer is one of the most destructive experiences one will ever know. Few recover completely. Many are destroyed from effective Christian living forever.” The healing is quite a surprise.
Just a caution to exercise discernment as you read his books.
http://www.letusreason.org/b.hinn14.htm
It seems to me that the Executive Board of ABWE is only MORALLY culpable IF the board members were made aware of the 2002 revelation that was delivered by the victimized MKs to CEO Loftis and his wife. If the Board was kept in the dark by the Administration, it is still culpable in the legal nuance of being the governing body of ABWE. But if the Board was not informed of the 2002 revelation–and this should be quite easy to determine via the recorded minutes of the Board meetings–then CEO Loftis and his cabinet may be in bigger trouble than they think.
You make a good point and hit on the central issue regarding the present Administration of ABWE…THE RESPONSE to the revelation that many young girls had been sexually abused at the hands of DK.
It has been established that at an MK retreat in 2002 a number of young women shared with President Loftis that they too had been victimized. I quote from The Confession, “After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed”. So many questions could be raised at this point…
1. Who, other than Loftis & his wife, learned of the additional victims?
2. Who initiated the investigation…Loftis? The Board? The Board & Loftis?
3. Who conducted the investigation?
4. Who reviewed the report that was submitted in July of 2002.
5. Where is the report that was “handed over to mission leadership”.
These are all reasonable questions, but the key question is WHY? Why was the investigation “NEVER COMPLETED”. This is the question that a world of people are asking. And, unfortunately, there is not one reasonable answer. In the end, it seems regrettably clear that Presdent Loftis did not deem the matter significant enough to complete. And, after nine years pass, the only thing that brings about genuine action is this blog.
THIS is the reason that the Board of ABWE will have no choice but to request the resignation of President Loftis. Trust has been breeched…credability has been compromised, both inside and outside of the organization. This will have to take place long before any third party investigation. This will not be the end of the matter just the beginning. The Board will have to take action in order to preserve their own credability and that of ABWE itself.
I only pray that they do not continue to drag their heals. It did take them 50 days after the blog was initiated to identify themselves on their own website. And I certainly hope that they will not have to be forced into making inevitable decisions. With each passing day the credability of ABWE wanes!
My 2 Cents, I can only tell you that regarding your question #1, there is testimony from an eye witnesses on this website that Jess Eaton was also present in 2002, and was sympathetic to the plight of the victims. See here.
Only ABWE can answer the rest of those questions, and I trust one day they will.
— Tamara Barrick Rice
On FORGIVENESS …
Re: forgiveness. Forgiveness, when misused by an abuser, can give them power over their victim(s). They can see themselves as exempt from the social responsibility of their acts (e.g. jail etc.) and no longer accountable for past bad acts. A heart of forgiveness is essential but actual forgiveness must come with total accountability.
Peter Waud
Pastor
Pastor Waud,
You said, “Forgiveness, when misused by an abuser, can give them power over their victim(s). ”
What a thoughtful and insightful observation! It was courageous of you to say this, and I hope many victims will be heartened by it.
Many well meaning people unknowingly add to victims’ heartache by telling them that they “just need to learn to love and forgive and move on.” In effect, this makes the victims responsible for their agony. That has got to be a bitter pill for them.
I also commend you for posting under your real name as a pastor. What a demonstration of a shepherd’s heart!
Green Lantern (not my real name!)
Ya never know. Peter Waud might be a pseudonym and Green Lantern might be your real name. Your mom might have been on something when she named you. 😉
Couldn’t resist. 🙂
Okay, I could have, but a little levity never hurt anyone.
(hopefully not)
I have emailed the board and asked them since they gave the board members names could they also give the dates they were on the board to see if they correlate with the years 1989 and/or 2002.
Look at all of your self-imposed nick names. It is sad that grown woman and men do not find themselves strong enough for their own opinion! We teach, at least I teach, our children to stand against peer pressure and to stand tall and firm for their beliefs. I don’t care what excuse or justification you try to give yourselves about the anonymity, it’s weak. It reminds me of Peter denying Jesus. Grown, grown men and woman – justifying and excusing why they shouldn’t or couldn’t use their given name!
ABWE is not going to be forced into anything. Most of you can’t say your name – how on earth (or in heaven) would you have the strength to “force” action.
And so the abuse of the victims continues. The reason people (victims of sexual abuse) do not want their names published is because there are people that would immediately look them up and continue the abuse. This is usually done to protect the pervert who abused them or its helping organization–in this case, sadly, a Christian organization. Truth will out. But even the truth is sometimes not enough for some people.
Sadly, Peter, you are so right. If this blog published the hateful rants we sometimes receive, many would be shocked. Who would write such things to those like the founder of the blog Susannah Beals Baker, who have already been through so much? But those people exist.
By moderating comments we have (or at least we have TRIED) to protect victims from such treatment at the hands of others who say they are Christians too.
–Tamara Barrick Rice
“Patricia” calls out people who aren’t strong enough to own their own opinion but she herself is only half strong. (If she is using her real first name, that is.)
It is the pot calling the kettle black.
Signed,
Does anyone really care who I am?
Patricia, I assume you are not referring to those who are victims, who have privately sought justice with ABWE and will pursue truth privately with GRACE, but do not wish to give their real names here. I can tell you, many of the anonymous on this blog are victims or relatives of victims. Maybe they are not ready for their children, people who might google them, to know that this ugly reality is their life. That public vulnerability is their choice to make, not ours.
As blog moderators, we fully support the right of any individual, especially victims of abuse by DK, to not give their real names here. Most ARE giving them where it counts: to ABWE and will soon to GRACE, Lord willing. That’s what matters. Not all victims or those related to this story need name themselves here. We appreciate it, of course, when people are willing to stick their names on the line for this cause, but we also respect those who need to remain anonymous.
Sure, sometimes people hide behind anonymity to say mean things. But that is usually not the reason.
Thanks for understanding that anonymity is not ALWAYS a sign of weakness, Patricia. — Tamara
I’m not calling for “sacrificial lambs” or for taking certain actions based upon how the “real world” might handle things.
I’m calling for action and leadership from the Board of ABWE.
I’m saying that, based on their own published Confession, they simply have no choice. The Confession makes it crystal clear that the Credibility of Key Leaders within ABWE has been damaged beyond repair.
In the “real world”, when this happens, those in leadership act with due diligence in order to save the credibility of the organization itself. Its done because its the right thing to do!
I’m saying that whatever GRACE might find or recommend has absolutely nothing to do with the Board of ABWE leading from the front and taking responsibility. The Board is the governing body of ABWE…they are responsible for leading this organization…not GRACE.
So, this is not about “throwing weight around” or “shouting more loudly” than others on this blog. Its about calling it like it is! The Board of ABWE must act, or we will all witness the credibility and influence of this world-wide ministry fade into the sunset.
Patricia …………..?,
Your conclusion is 100% wrong!
These fine women, and those who stand behing them through this blog, have indeed forced ABWE to do many things that they have refused to do for the past 22 years. Let me review a few for you:
1) ABWE was forced to finally take responsibility and issue a
confession (3/30/2011).
2) ABWE was forced to finally call this what it is…a CRIME and
PEDIOPHILIA.
3) ABWE was forced to finally admit that demanding a 14 year old
to sign a confession was wrong.
4) ABWE was forced to report that in 2002 several more
women shared stories of abuse with Dr. Loftis and he failed to
complete the investigation (?).
5) ABWE was forced to finally file a report with the Michigan Bureau
of Health Professionals (3/29/2011).
6) ABWE was forced to finally contact the National Center for
Missing and Exploited Children (4/5/2011).
7) ABWE was forced to finally send a letter to supporting churches
detailing the truth of what really happened (4/9/2011).
8) ABWE was forced to finally agree to an independant 3rd Party
investigation.
9) ABWE was forced to hire GRACE (4/12/2011).
10) ABWE was forced to finally post the names of their Board
Members on their website (4/26/2011).
How sad that it has taken 22 years and outside pressure to force the leaders of ABWE to do the right thing. I’ll tell you what it reminds me of…The Catholic Church!
Yes, the Board of ABWE will be forced to do many more things in the coming days. For instance, they will be forced to call for the resignations of President Lofis, Attorney Davis and Executive Ebersole. This would have happened weeks ago in the real world.
Yes, churches…pastors…missionaries…donors…victims and their supporters on this blog will continue to voice their outrage until justice FINALLY comes.
And if the Board of ABWE continues the status quo and refuses to lead from the front with courage and haste we will all witnes the demise of this organization.
I have heard you call for resignations several times. I think temperance is advisable. Let GRACE do the investigation. Their report will be without the bias that we (not having ALL the information) likely have. They will be better able to suggest the best course of actions.
I tend to agree w/my2cents on this one. Christian circles tend to be about 15 years (or more) behind the secular environments in how such things are addressed and responded to. That is to our shame. Had this been a public school board, a college, or a corporation, I have no doubt there would have been a few sacrificial lambs sent to the slaughter of resignation/termination on that board.
It needs to happen, regardless of what GRACE finds.
I guess that’s my two cents…
Although we do not “have all the information” the information we do have warrants the resignations.
To Rebecca and My2Cents –
I don’t think it should be decided by who can yell the loudest and that is what I hear in your suggestions. Maybe I am misunderstanding you or you me (or both!) There are so many lacking factors when communicating in this fashion that it is easy to misunderstand.
Therefore, what I hear in your words may be wrong – this is what I hear. — I hear the possibility of dominant people yelling and screaming and pushing others out of the way because they think their opinion is right. They are saying, if we form a group of us we can gain power and oust the leader that we have decided is corrupt. What I see is that you are trying to rouse the crowd in the same way as has been happening recently in North Africa and the middle east.
My opinion is that is a way to trade one injustice for another. GRACE (presumably) is going to be dealing with this. Do you not trust them? I do. I trust that they will be able to accumulate the evidence needed to sort out the truth from the midst of bias and shaded testimony. From what I have read I think that is what these ladies want. They are not on a mission of destruction and revenge. They are on a mission of justice. If justice requires the removal of certain leaders I want it based on truth, not the opinion of whoever has the most power. If is is decided by power and not by truth, it is not justice.
What is there to say that how it is done in the “real world” is the way to do it? A few sacrificial lambs? Yeah, that happens. Innocent lambs get sacrificed for the sake of the name of the organization while the real people in power hold on to their positions. That happens in the real world. Find a fall guy. And the main perpetrators, the ones who are the most at fault escape the consequences.
Don’t try to put ABWE names into my words – fall guy, sacrificial lambs, etc. I have no names. My words aren’t analogy or parable. I am simply trying to point out that the way it is done “in the real world” isn’t necessarily a good alternative.
“An ABWE MK” please forgive me if you thought I was calling for the ousters based on loudest shouting, or if you felt in anyway I was calling for impatience on the part of the women here. I continue to commend these on this blog for the work done here, for the grace these women have shown.
But just because secular environments (those were my words) do something does not make it wrong. I say “sacrificial lambs” a bit tongue in cheek, but not totally. There is no reason why those who defended this practice for so long, who may still be on the board (I have no idea), should not step down, even before GRACE finishes any investigation. They can do so while continuing to cooperate. They do not have to blend into the communities or hide.
There is no reason to wait for an investigation to be complete to do the right thing. These men, whomever they are, violated these women’s, and their families’, trust. They don’t need GRACE to tell them that. They violated any promise or pledge they made before God or their churches when they accepted leadership positions. They should go. And they should do so voluntarily and in the spirit of humility. They have tainted their leadership, the name of the organization they serve and the ministries of others around the world.
In Japan, it’s called hari kari or sepuku. I’m not calling for actual suicide, but self-removal from the board is not a bad idea.
Again, as I’ve said before, my only dog in this fight is as a cheerleader for these women whom I respect so much. May my words take nothing from their fight or cast any shadow across the work they are doing.
Rebeccca – just a couple comments of clarification. –
My comment about secular agencies was in response to what I thought you were saying. I thought you were saying “Christian” groups are blowing it – secular doesn’t do it that way so they must be doing it right. I thought you were blindly assuming that secular must be right b/c it isn’t the way Christians do it and it looks good. I have no problem with saying secular groups can do things right. Hey, I work in a secular organization. Truth is, I am more comfortable in a secular organization. There isn’t all the religious shenanigans that go on in a Christian group. (I differentiate religion from Christianity)
Re: sacrificial lambs – they are the innocents – I think you are using the term differently. I don’t want the innocent punished while the guilty go free.
An ABWE MK, thanks for helping me clarify. The trouble with blogs…too few words and too big of thoughts sometimes. We are in agreement, I believe. “Sacrificial lambs” was a poor word choice.
Wanted to note, for those who wish to discuss the board, that we have a new post and thread started about it. We’re so thankful ABWE released the names. Here is a link to our post a place to discuss:
ABWE Names Board Members
I notice people are again calling for the resignation of ABWE board members, and Pres. Lofis, (My2Cents on 4/29 and An ABWE MK, 5/2).
I would like to repeat again what I posted 4/18:
Calling for the ABWE Board to resign-I am not sure this is the wisest move in the long-term. Once the Board Members resign, they can “disappear” either out of the country or by “blending in” with the general population, and not be held accountable in person to give a 100% truthful and complete account of their actions for the past 50+ years.
I agree with the post to let G.R.A.C.E. do their investigation and issue their report. If their report strongly recommends the guilty members of the board resigns, they may be forced into it from the outcry of public opinion from everyone involved with this site, everyone abused by DK and the supporting churches.
I certainly do not want to assign blame or guilt by association. IF anyone currently on the board is truly innocent of all wrong-doing, they should be spared.
I think that you are misunderstanding the makeup of a non-profit organization such as ABWE. The Board members are not paid employees of the organizaion…they serve in a voluntary capacity and come from the community at large from various careers.
I’m saying that the Executive Board of ABWE needs to begin to lead in this situation and accept the resignations of key administrators, who have already been proven (by their own confession) to have acted in ways that irreparably damage their ability to continue in their positions.
For example, the world now knows that in 2002 several more young women came to President Loftis and shared their stories of sexual abuse at the hands of DK and still, even after NINE YEARS, the investigation was not completed.
This is not just a lapse in judgement on the part of President Loftis…it is GROSS NEGLIGENCE! How could he ever offer a satisfactory explanation as to WHY this evidently wasn’t important enough to complete? How could these abused young girls (now women)…their families…present ABWE missionaries ever trust his leadership now?
The truth of this has already been established by their own Confession. The investigation of GRACE is quite apart from this matter. There are only two choices: retain the compromised leader and compromise the credibility of the entire organization, or remove the compromised leader and begin to rebuild the credibility of the organization. The choice is clear!
Please note that An ABWE MK did NOT call for resignation of the board or Loftis. An ABWE MK recommends temperance – letting GRACE do its thing before rushing off all in a dither.
Here is the broader issue as I see it. GRACE was brought in to be an independent, objective source to identify problems and to get answers to questions that should have been addressed years ago. ABWE has recently made several concessions as a result of pressure from the blog. All of this appears to be involuntary. That is disturbing because:
A. There is no recognition of wrongdoing?
B. There is an awareness of wrongdoing, but admitting it is a problem?
C. There is concern for public perception (over doing what is right)?
D. There are legal or other concerns?
Calls for those leaders involved in decisions that were made to step down is consistent with what would happen with most secular organizations involved in some sort of scandal. The problem here is that this is a Christian organization and presumably would/should act differently. Insisting that GRACE complete their investigation before any action is taken implies that guilt must be proven. As a Christian organization that has already “confessed” to wrongdoing, this would seem to show reluctance to voluntarily do what is right. Since GRACE’s recommendations will likely not be comprehensive nor will they be binding, what prevents ABWE from taking the initiative and the steps to demonstrate to everyone that it means business?
That is exactly what I was trying to say, Mr. Walsh. Thank you for saying so much clearly than I did.
I agree with you, Doug. GRACE is in place to make sure that there is a thorough and impartial investigation, which will probably take many months. There is nothing to prevent the ABWE board or any man of honor from beating GRACE to the punch and doing the right thing through a resigning or firing. (Yes, I agree with those here who feel the wrongs committed by the administration of ABWE in handling this case are so massive that those most responsible must go.) It would do much to restore our trust that ABWE doesn’t have to be forced to do the right thing.
II Corinthians 7:11 gives the picture of the truly repentant: See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
I, for one, will never believe that there has been a character change at ABWE until they invite Susannah Beals Baker to unveil a permanent sculpture or fountain at headquarters in her honor and publicly thank her for what she has done.
In the “ABWE Board Confession of 3/30/11,” the Administration and Board wrote, “Though we cannot ask forgiveness for the sins of others, we do humbly and sincerely ask for your forgiveness for our sins.” Interestingly, the remainder of the confession is largely a detailed apology for the sins of the previous administration: for not terminating DK before 1989, for making the 14-year-old girl sign a bogus confession, for not reporting DK to legal authorities or state medical boards, for allowing DK to confess to his sending church pastor without an ABWE representative present, etc.
While these are all grievous offenses of an organization that failed its people, I find it sad that the current Administration devotes a whopping total of 3 short sentences to the “sins” committed on their watch. They write, “After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed. This was wrong. Please forgive us for this failure.”
The CEO doesn’t seem to comprehend the seriousness of almost nine years of having personal knowledge of multiple victims of DK without acting on this information. And then a blog erupts and, all of a sudden, a profuse apology appears. Hmmm….
Maybe the apology is sincere. Or maybe it is just another soundtrack of the kind of rhetoric that sounds so compassionate and so heartbroken, but is devoid of the real guts and conviction to do the right thing. Phil Walsh likely witnessed this pathological insincerity back in 2003 when he left the current president’s office with little more than a silly and prideful anecdote about “the buck stops here.” Sorry you had to endure that, Phil. No doubt the brave MK women who dared to approach the CEO in 2002 with a dreadful and painful secret have arrived at the diagnosis of “pathological insincerity” in light of 9 long years of silence and lack of action. How tragic that you were betrayed and abused again, MK ladies.
If the buck really stops at the desk of CEO Loftis, and since we KNOW that he’s KNOWN about this since 2002, is it really out of bounds for people in this forum to be calling for resignations or terminations even prior to G.R.A.C.E.’s investigation?
It is a shame indeed that Loftis gives only 3 sentences to his part in all of this. Very, very good point. When the whole story is learned, I’m positive there will be much more justification (if people are not satisfied yet) to demand resignations.
I do find it somewhat disappointing that the blog has slowed down. What is there to write about, one wonders? (Except for the petty arguments begun and maintained by the blog’s stalkers, most of whom aren’t even Bangladesh MK’s…which I find funny and annoying all at the same time.) Well, I know ABWE and that they are watching this blog. No doubt they are thrilled that the conversation has died down. But what they may not know about are the many conversations going on at other sites. Yes, conversations about ABWE and Loftis and DK. Other circles are talking, dissecting, and having a hey day with this information. If they so much as dare go back on their decision to use GRACE for the third party they will find themselves not only completely discredited but also bombarded with voices from all over the world who have been watching and waiting to see if they are going to prove their sincerity. I guess we’ll all just continue to wait and see…
Although there are not many new comments coming in right now, that does not mean that this blog, or the situation has been forgotten. We still check daily for any announcement made that ABWE has completed its “dissection” of the GRACE agreement, has signed on the dotted line, and that the investigation has begun. I am waiting to hear if the investigation will go beyond the BD situation to the workings of the whole organization. Our church is waiting to see what we will do with future support of ABWE missionaries. I am also still waiting for the resignations of the leaders involved. This pause does not mean that we have let this go and moved on to something else. We are just waiting…but not so patiently. 30 days is way too long! Excessive! ABWE is banking on this dying down. Are you still waiting, also?
The moderators and victims are still waiting, “Slowed Down…”, and it’s good to know we are not forgotten.
– Tamara Barrick Rice
I still check and read every day! Not forgetting and yes, still waiting!
Yes, I am waiting too. I am still reading, because this blog has opened up much thought and discussion on Christianity, leadership and abuse. I found the list of board members enlightening since I knew only one board member and his history is one of pastoral abuse. Please tell me that not all the members are similar!
The spirit of the blog as well as it’s accomplishments has been encouraging, however the state of organized Christianity is disheartening. Perhaps this waiting time could be used to discuss proper leadership, recognizing and preventing abusive leadership in a Christian organization (including churches) and helping those who have been sexually molested but have not been able to get help. This could be a time for building each other up and I know there are able leaders in the MK’s and missionaries that have been commenting all along.
Thank you.
We are hoping to have forums up soon for that very purpose. It’s exciting to know there are those who will be excited to participate.
— Tamara
I am still waiting, and watching, and waiting some more. I still want to believe, to hope against hope, that the board and leadership will be willing to do what is right, whatever is right, for the sake of doing right and not because it looks good for them to do so. If you are a “leader” you are supposed to be out in front, to lead the group.
I am still praying, too, for the MK’s and their families. So much pain for so long . . . . I pray for your healing and for your deliverance from the bondage of painful memories and enforced silence. Jesus came, gave His life, and rose again to give you freedom and an abundant life. I desire you to have that, it is your birthright.
You are not forgotten! We are all here, and we will stay here as long as you need us.
I whole heartedly agree with you! Our church is waiting and watching too, and we will determine our support of ABWE, and the missionaries serving under their organizational structure, based on the conclusion of the GRACE report, and/or ABWE’s response to it. If the allegations RE: ABWE are true, there is no way that we will continue to support this organization. AS I STATED BEFORE, WE (GARBC affiliated, and other Independent Baptist and Bible Churches) ARE TOLLERATING IN THE NAME OF MISSIONS, WHAT WE WOULD NEVER TOLLERATE IN THE NAME OF AN ECCELIEASTICAL DENOMONATION. IF WE ARE GOING TO PREACH AND TEACH BIBLICAL SEPERATION, THAN LET’S BE BIBLICAL.
1 Corinthians 5:9 ¶ I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner–not even to eat with such a person. 12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”
Also as I stated before, in our opinion what DK did was horrible, but what ABWE is alleged to have done is far worse. If the alleged cover up by ABWE is true, would our church’s disassociation from ABWE be harsh and unloving? I think not! For God has said in James3:1, “My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.” If we are going to be teachers of the Word of God, and leaders in God’s church (for the record, ABWE is not a church), than we must live by, and be held accountable to, a higher standard.
Dear Wikersham,
Please hear my heart on this….I am often hit with words of rebuke for a bitterness of tone that simply isn’t there. I try to choose my words carefully but I guess I miss the mark more often than I want. (I can’t decide if I am that off base or if I am just an easy target, but that’s another post.) Anyhow – please know that I am simply “chatting” with you here…not rebuking or yelling….simply chatting with you about my thoughts as a victim and a family member (sister) of the primary victim:
You mention that you are waiting to see if the allegations are true (they are) and if so, what ABWE’s response will be to determine if you will continue to support ABWE in any form. That is a good, good thing – for if ABWE simply is found guilty and admits their guilt but in the end, does not change a thing – then that is exactly what churches should do.
However, I believe there are a few (maybe more) good men (and women) involved at ABWE still. I believe there are those who will stand for righteousness even if it means their friends are asked to leave. I believe that the men who are most responsible for this offense (and other offenses yet to be shared, even in this specific scandal) will be asked to leave in time.
In that case, we would need to rally around ABWE and see the organization through to better days. My suggestion would be to have a team of pastors (prominent and not so prominent) oversee a complete overhaul of the organizational structure. High accountability to the local church is imperative! There are suggestions (like a limited term for presidency and other administration positions – as well as for board terms) that would be a deterrent for men becoming arrogant and prideful in their roles. In short, I believe that ABWE needs to submit to the influence and leadership of supporting pastors (and not just from the large giving churches) in the revamping of its organizational structure and accountability practices.
I am getting ready to post today about my own thoughts about forgiveness (which is not coming easily for me these days), but I will be the first among you to say that I am not totally for people and churches walking completely away from ABWE IF they choose to respond correctly by cleaning house. I have walked away from ABWE already – have been unassociated with them and most (if not all) who are still associated with them – for decades because of what they have done to our family and their code of ethics, which I believe are unbiblical. (Thankfully, my family is stronger than they are and we have weathered this storm together.) And I am positive that their model of a mission board is unbiblical. But! If they are willing to admit failure, pride, and the error of their ways….if they are willing to make drastic changes to their structure and leadership team….if they are willing to simply DO RIGHT without any shadow of doubt, I am willing to say that they are then truly in a position to be a help to churches and missionaries all over the planet because they are filling holes that are hard to fill otherwise. Then they would truly be in a position to serve our missionaries and churches as they are intended to. (Currently, missionaries serve them and it is repulsive.)
Any how, I hope you can understand my heart in this….it is not intended as a rebuke in any way – simply a victim of DK and ABWE speaking her heart to others. I want to stand up for ABWE and their board (not all of their board, obviously, for at least one needs to go – no doubt about that!) should they choose to stand for righteousness sake and do what is hard but right.
I posted this in the other comments under the board list , but it seemed appropriate here as well. It seems timely given all that has gone on and I felt I should share it:
John 3:20-21
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.
We must pray that they continue to come toward the light, whether they want to or not.
I wonder how long it was from when he had Uriah killed and he was confronted by Nathan the prophet? I wonder how long it was from when he was confronted before he did anything? Did he do anything? Other than the prayer of repentance? All I can think of it that and having the baby die, but God did that. But then, I suppose David couldn’t have brought Uriah back to life. Maybe that is why the baby died. It was some sort of recompense anyway. But then, that probably hurt Bathsheba more than David. Were Uriah and Bathsheba young? No kids are mentioned. Sermons I recall have always blamed Bathsheba also. Typical male blame the women thing I think. After all, he was the king! What was she to do? Say no I won’t come over there? I suppose she could have…, but perhaps the circumstances were no different than a child saying no to an adult. In Muslim countries a young girl is raped by her cousin and then killed by her family because she is unmarried and not a virgin. Horrific. Aren’t they the same dynamics in Western countries when women are raped and blamed that they must have been seducing? Or pastors have “affairs” with women in the church and the women are blamed? The power dynamics may vary in type or strength, but each of those situations have power dynamics at play.
That is – from when David had Uriah killed.
I think this is a time for all of us to remember that forgiveness does not negate consequences.
We give our children consequences when they do not behave appropriately or when they sin. We can forgive them, of course, but forgiveness in that context here on earth between humans does not mean there are no consequences. We don not automatically grant mercy.
For some who’ve been caught not doing what is right by the creators of this blog, the consequences are that their deeds will forever be out there in cyberspace for all to judge–and it’s up to them to find their redemption, because they are welcome to ask for forgiveness from the MKs who’e been hurt here in front of all of us who are watching, are they not?
I just think it’s worthwhile to talk about what repentance, forgiveness, mercy, and consequences look like.
Thank you, “Consequences” for your post. I have noticed how often people who post on this blog mention forgiveness. For the last 2 weeks I’ve wanted to share some insight on this, but I keep getting stuck trying to put my thoughts into words, so as to not be misunderstood. If you can bear with me to the end of this post, hopefully it will all make some sense.
I agree with you, that we really need to separate discussions of forgiveness from discussions about consequences for sin. They really are 2 distinct entities.
When God forgives us, He does separate us from the consequences of our sin – death and eternal separation from Him. I’ve come to understand, however, that our forgiveness of other people is not the same as God’s. It doesn’t always serve the same purpose.
On more than one occasion I’ve needed to face the task of forgiving others who hurt me deeply, gravely. The last time this happened, God showed me that my choosing to forgive them was for ME, not for them. Living continually with anger and bitterness for what people had done to me would have kept me in bondage to them. The only way to be free of them, to not allow them to control me or my life any longer was for me to forgive them and turn my demands for justice and retribution, for vindication over to God. To some it may seem a selfish kind of forgiveness, but it seemed to be the only way to escape the yoke of bondage I felt every time I spent time thinking of how greatly they had wronged me.
Without sharing the specifics, I want to make it clear that the situation I faced does not compare with the situation of the BD MK’s. Looking back at it now, it pales in comparison. I was an adult when my situation occurred. The MK’s were children, under the physical and spiritual authority of their abusers. I had years of experience, as an adult, of following the Lord’s leading, no matter what. The MK’s were young and did not have the background and Biblical education to help them know what to do. In my case, the “offended” people were just a handful. In the case of the MK’s there were many and the abuse continued over a long period of time.
What does this all have to do with forgiveness and consequences? Because of the cover-up, DK and the agency leadership really need to deal with the consequences of their abuse and neglect. Someone needs to step up and take responsibility, not only for the actions or lack of action, but also take responsibility to make the right decisions now, and quickly.
At some point, in the healing process and the path to wholeness, I think each of the MK’s and members of their families will be ready to deal with the issue of forgiveness. It will, however, be only one step in the healing process. It will come as they are ready for that step, as the Lord leads each person individually. It should not be something imposed on them by others for the purpose of avoiding consequences and unpleasant publicity for an organization.
My “long-term” prayer for the MK’s and their families is that one day they will experience healing, and a measure of healing and freedom that does come through forgiveness. I pray they can someday be set free from the painful past, to truly be liberated. It can change your perspective on everything! I don’t think it can or will happen, however, until the investigation by G.R.A.C.E. has been completed and until the organization leadership has made necessary changes – both in the way of consequences for past action and prevention of this kind of situation in the future. Let’s not confuse forgiveness with consequences. Each has its time and place in God’s plan for us.
We have published a timeline with links to important documents. Check it out here. If you are new to the blog, it’s a good place to start.
— Tamara
I read this today about our little blog here, and had to share it. The writer makes an amazing observation (summarized in my own words) that the same sort of Christian crowd worrying about whether or not Rob Bell is “in or out” is not worried ENOUGH about the crimes committed against and then covered up by those in their midst. Why is alleged theological heresy of more importance than wounded people? Where are our hearts as Christians? It is so sad that the outrage over crimes and collusion by Christians pales in comparison to the outrage provoked by theological debate.
To quote my favorite New Testament writer James: My brothers (and sisters), this should not be.
I share this not as a moderator of the blog, but as an individual who shares this view. She has truly spoken my heart on the matter and I’m so grateful that she did not choose to look away from this train wreck of a situation we have here, but chose to engage. Would that all of us had that courage to look sexual abuse in the eye and not want to turn away: http://happinessisabutterfly.blogspot.com/2011/04/two-stories-that-im-trying-to-make.html
I also want to point out that me sharing this article is not an excuse to discuss Rob Bell here. (Sorry.) There may be a place for that, but it is not here.
You have an excellent point here. Why do the churches fight to their last breath to defend “doctrinal purity” and yet fail to lift a finger to clean up moral impurity that has been covered up and overlooked for years. Maybe the answer is that the churches are so busy splitting hairs over doctrinal battles that they are blind to the enormity of the injustice sitting in front of them. Shame on us if this is what we have become. Does our cry for doctrinal purity become a sounding gong if we don’t have love for moral purity and trying to right the wrongs we have committed and/or overlooked?
I’m just another voice stating that I’m still reading the blogs and remembering the victims as we all WAIT. One of the things that I find so sad is that Dr D. K. hasn’t responded to any of the victims other than W. O. B. and that was done before the inception of this blog. Perhaps he has done so behind these scenes, but I’m assuming we’d know if he had….maybe not. Hopefully he will find God’s strength to do the right thing even before the Board investigation is done.
I’ve been absent from the blog for almost two weeks now, throughout Easter. Tonight as I caught up, I was heart sick to see that once again ABWE is dragging their feet, taking their time to “make sure that they have clarity with Grace,” questions, yada, yada, yada. This should not be tolerated any longer. Having watched similar situations in my past it is their hope that this “will die down,” as was suggested by someone. Their behavior can only be a stumbling block for those around the world who look at Christian’s to see how we handle these situations. Let me remind many on this blog that often the world sets a much higher standard for ethics than what we are witnessing here. How many of the abused have received visits, phone calls, and personal contact from board members asking forgiveness. They (ABWE) have been brought excusing themselves. and whining all the way. As a person once connected to some of those in leadership I am disgusted, weary, and worn out by their continual reasons for why it takes so long. MK’s please consider the time may have come to turn up the heat. This should not take 30 days for a phone call, date to start the first initial visit and start the healing. Instead they continue to let it fester and become more and more infected. I’m sure there are probably many pastors and leaders out there telling many closely involved that “you just need to be patient and let God work.” He will work but His work needs to be able to move forward without the stone-walling from ABWE. Enough said. I’m weary of it and I can only imagine how the MK’s feel. Will continue to pray for you all daily.
Don’t worry that people aren’t still watching, reading and praying for you all. MANY in my little corner of the midwest are. Shame on ABWE, sadly their response isn’t a surprise to those of us who grew up in the GARBC.
Read what others are saying about this blog here.
“The LORD Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and Lofty…” (Isa. 2:12)
“…the Lofty tree will be felled, the tall ones will be brought low”. (Isa. 10:33)
Jesus said:
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. (John 10:11)
“I am the good shepherd . . . and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14)
The Psalmist says:
” . . . for we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care.” (Psalm 95:7)
” . . . we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.” (Psalm 100:3)
While the analogy of the shepherd and the sheep applies directly to Jesus as the good shepherd and we as his sheep, and later to pastors as under-shepherds and church members as the flock, I still think we could apply the principles of what it means to be a shepherd to the situation of the mission board and the missionary families under its care. Using the analogy this way, I just have a few questions:
Does the shepherd ever sacrifice the little lambs in order to save the wolf? Does he sacrifice the lambs so that the wolf will look good? Does he ever sacrifice the little lambs to make himself look good and to cover up for not dealing with the wolf? Is this the kind of shepherd that lays down his very life for the sheep?
I DO know that people in positions of under-shepherd sometimes sacrifice the lambs to make themselves look good.* Although, if speaking about spiritual abuse, perhaps the under-shepherd is actually the wolf?
* As one of those lambs I can testify that an under-shepherd does not succeed in his attempts to sacrifice because the Great Shepherd rescues His wounded lamb.
Whether or not it is true that ABWE leaders are shepherd, they are certainly members of the body, fellow heirs, brothers and sisters. We are all to serve one another, bear the burdens of one another, help the weak.
Matthew 20: 26-28 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
You are right. The Great Shepherd does rescue the wounded lambs and nurse them back to health. What a great image! Such a comfort to know they are not completely destroyed.
What does the Great Shepard do to those who intentionally hurt the little lambs? To those who do nothing to shield the lambs but shield the wolf instead?
What are we (collective we) doing to our testimony and future ministry in a lost and dying world if we allow our leaders to look into the face of evil and close their eyes?
“One cannot love good without despising evil; those who are silent in the face of evil are ultimately collaborators.” Shlomo Riskin on Holocaust Memorial
Great quote! Many times I have grieved over what our country has done in that regard. Now I grieve over what our mission boards and/or churches have done and are doing in that regard.
Thank you for this quote. I have learned that sexual abuse is sometimes so unseemly, people just really want to look the other way when it’s exposed. But you have to look the pain of it in the face order to fight it and to NOT be silent. Thank you SO much for this inspiring quote.
– Tamara
It just occurred to me that I have not seen anyone mention “duty to warn”. When I worked with the mentally ill as a vocational specialist we were instructed in Washington State law. This includes the “duty to warn” if a client is becoming dangerous to himself, others or property. The person to be warned would be the possible victim of the threat and in many cases the police. Failure to do this could land you in jail. ABWE had a duty to warn and did not do it and has not done it. They were the ones legally responsible to report the crimes to the police and warn all possible victim of the danger of assault. This I believe is not only a legal principle but a Biblical mandate. I am concerned that this has not been addressed. This is not an optional matter it is the Law.
Continuing in prayer for you all.
Peter Waud
Pastor
Burien, WA
I do not want to take anything away from Wendy. She heard an apology & it mattered to her. I’m just wondering if it struck anyone as odd that DK asked her what he did to her & then gave an apology. Could it be that he was/is trying to determine what is remembered?
I came across a comment that was written by Dr. Joel Tetreau who is Senior Pastor of Southeast Valley Baptist Church of Gilbert, Arizona, U.S.A. who said he was a board member of the Institute of Biblical Leadership which is one of the orginizations that is involved with accountability for ABWE. In following this up I found Dr. Russ Lloyd was also on that board as well as David Southwell who is with ABWE as of now. I was just wondering how they are dealing with this situation since some of the board members are “in house” as it doesn’t appear they are doing a very good job of making ABWE accountable. I realize I don’t know everything but in all this sordid sin of Dr. Donn Ketcham I have not seen this organizations name before.
I just wanted to add to my comment where I read that Dr. Joel Tetreau is a board member of an orginization called the Institute of Biblical Leadership that is one of the oginizations involved with accountability for ABWE . His comment was on SHARPERIRON under board of ABWE & ABWE administration ask for your forgiveness and his comment was #12.
I notice that he was also the first comment, (and the one who started the subject?)
In that first comment he wrote — “I would encourage us to try to take what is said by the various parties at face value”
Hmm…, my observation is that if I took everyone at face value I would become mightily confused as the various face values conflict!
I’m reading a good book right now. “Good news about injustice” by Gary A. Haugen who is the head of the International Justice Mission. I have just been reading about how the the oppressors use deception.
I told my husband that if I had not experienced the way spiritual leaders can deceive, I would probably be skeptical about what you ladies are saying, and more like the people writing on sharper iron, taking ABWE at face value and not you. It really does have to be one or the other. The “face value” conflicts. And…, always taking people at face value without discernment opens oneself up to being deceived.
Here is a quote from the book – “Those of us who have been raised with a respect for authority and a Romans 18 deference to government officials must, if we are going to seek biblical justice, accustom ourselves to the unsettling reality that those who have power and authority are not only capable of abusing that power but are capable of going to great lengths to lie about it.”
Really great observations that I didn’t make, ladies. I added them to my notes on this link on our “What OTHERS Are Saying” page. I was, in particular, very disturbed by the comments of one of the people there who linked women’s trauma from sexual abuse to the feminist movement. (It just so happens someone who tried to comment here once said the exact same thing, along with some other really disturbing thoughts.)
I was so offended by this man’s statements on sharperiron.org, I wrote the moderators of the board. I’m starting to realize there are very narrow-minded/paranoid sects of Christianity out there that can’t even allow a woman to feel pain from her past without blaming a feminist. And blaming a feminist for what, I might ask? For allowing women to acknowledge that sexual abuse is something that might affect you psychologically to the point that even marriage, birthing, and motherhood are affected by it? What about males who are abused. Have we not seen that they also are keenly changed by the experience?
Are victims of sexual abuse really supposed to believe that they only feel the pain they feel because the person who wrote a book called The Courage to Heal–that this man brings up–TOLD them to?? Really?
Sometimes my mind is BOGGLED by the ignorance that is–unfortunately–so often rampant in Christian circles. I researched this man and found he has a degree in “biblical counseling.”
How I wish I were kidding.
PS Those comments I’m referring to were from another man. Not from Joel T.
I read the comments in that blog also, and believe your reaction to the “feminist” comments in particular are more than justified.
There are many types of “Biblical counseling” which are neither Biblical nor true counseling. Some of them are abusive themselves. Let the buyer beware!
“One cannot love good without despising evil; those who are silent in the face of evil are ultimately collaborators.” Shlomo Riskin on Holocaust Memorial”
Great comment. For those that may not know “Shlomo” is Solomon – how appropriate.
“I do not want to take anything away from Wendy. She heard an apology & it mattered to her. I’m just wondering if it struck anyone as odd that DK asked her what he did to her & then gave an apology. Could it be that he was/is trying to determine what is remembered?”
I hope everyone picked up on that. It seems in some respects that ABWE is adopting this approach.
The strong have a MORAL responsibility to protect the weak.
If I Were President of ABWE for a Day
Since ABWE has given us all this down time while they decide how exactly they want to be investigated (or rather, how they will allow themselves to be investigated), I’ve decided to do a little dreaming about what I would do in the unlikely event that the ABWE board allowed me to be President for one day. Chuckle if you will, but stranger things have happened. Besides, I have a lot to accomplish on this virtual day; I don’t have any time to waste discussing my salary package, benefits, and retirement account. Let’s get to work.
The following are directives I would issue or other changes I would make immediately in order to bring ABWE fully into the light of transparency in a way that they would begin to regain the confidence of a waiting, watching mission world.
Character quote for my successor: “It’s a great moment when someone has character, when they step up and do the right at the right time.”
• Accept GRACE immediately, with no reservations. Let the light shine all the way in.
• Don’t wait for GRACE to complete their investigation. Immediately begin to clean house (this doesn’t mean shredding documents). Be proactive in this instead of being reactive. Take the first steps down the road to transparency! Remember: “There can be no peace without justice and no justice without truth” (source unknown).
• Ask to resign immediately all who resist this move to openness.
• Call for another investigation into authoritarian practices and abuses, real or perceived, at all levels of ABWE (including at the field level). This should include abuses committed by nationals who are under ABWE patronage. Acknowledge that the policies that covered up the Donn Ketcham matter are helping to cover up for horrible abuses on the field by some ABWE leaders (missionary and nationals). It is time to dispense with the “baby with the bathwater” argument for not wanting to upset the applecart, especially when it means keeping the “bathwater”. God can take care of the “baby”.
• Find and make things right with spiritually abused missionaries who have resigned or have been forced to leave ABWE because of authoritarian practices and/or because they have acted according to how their consciences dictate. Remove forever the labels (e.g., “disgruntled”, “malcontent”, “troublemaker”, etc.) that are so easily thrown around by ABWE leaders. Don’t teach people that truth is important and that integrity matters and then lecture them when they act on those things.
• Get rid of ABWE’s unbiblical “no compete” clause, which stipulates that missionaries who leave ABWE’s service (ostensibly for discipline issues) promise to no longer return to the area of service that GOD has called them to (just because ABWE differs with God). This clause, which all ABWE missionaries are required to sign, is used in a sweeping way to try to keep anybody, for any reason, who disagrees with ABWE’s de facto principles or practices, from returning to the field.
• Determine that leadership means making the right decisions no matter what the cost and ensuring that those decisions are enforced all the way down the line. Do not allow field decisions to override biblical “principles and practices” because field leaders “know better” what works in their area. Establish as an overriding principle that all decisions ABWE makes will be based on what brings God’s blessings and approval, not man’s. In other words, “the bottom line” should never be a factor in making these determinations.
• Change the culture of how ABWE views itself in light of scripture and how it views the role of local churches (determine to never allow the authority of the local church to be usurped). Involve local churches in re-evaluating this culture.
• Fundamentally change the philosophy (and resulting methodology) of missions, especially as it relates to how nationals are viewed. For example, in Bangladesh, nationals are not included in any prayer and planning at crucial stages of decision-making. What we heard from our field leader was “This is our business. Nationals will never be included in our meetings.” What really is “our business” then? Isn’t it the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ? This will be explained in much more detail in another post.
• Immediately defund all national “spiritual” leaders who are on ABWE’s payroll. It is time for these leaders to break their ties to the almighty dollar and begin a new era of having to be held accountable to their own congregations for their decisions. This is more crucial than anybody realizes but will become clearer once the full story of what we (and many others) experienced on the field is revealed. It is time to stop the “outsourcing” of the work of the Gospel.
• In light of the above directive, all ABWE missionaries need to restudy the meaning of John 1:14 and Philippians 2: If they are physically on the mission field, they must “become flesh” to people. They must be ready to be inconvenienced in order to truly reach people. They must be willing to be poured out and humbled, even unto death if necessary. Do not view missions as a vocation, with a great salary package and comfortable retirement. In addition, missionaries must be continually reminded of the sacrifices supporters make in order to keep them on the mission field.
• Demand that every field come up with an “exit strategy” that specifically sets goals and milestones for what they dare to believe God can do. Remember the “work yourself out of a job” statement that we love to share with supporters? It has to become a reality. If Jesus can have an exit strategy, so can we (John 16:7).
• In light of the above, stop rewarding missionaries for longevity of service in one area. Give special recognition to missionaries who have been in one area, have established a church, and then have moved on. In other words, they have displayed a ruthless trust of the Holy Spirit to continue His work through national brothers and sisters.
• Make it a policy to listen to their “enemies”. We can learn much from the criticisms of others. Many have been criticized by ABWE leadership over the years. Let that become a 2-way street.
Any discussion on any of the above is welcomed and appreciated. Most of these are things that apply to any ministry, at home or abroad, and are not all inclusive; they are only meant to be a starting point for a dialogue.
Seriously, a non-compete agreement!!!!????? I was not aware this even existed with ABWE. I can’t even begin to hide my disgust. The more I learn of their practices, deceit and outright hypocrisy, my question is how and why any person of good character would want to be associated with or work for this bunch. Oh wait, they control the purse strings, hmmm….. I guess even the work of God boils down to the almighty dollar.
I hope the “missiologists” of our Christian colleges and seminaries are watching and learning from ABWE right now, because the heart of this matter is very much about an incomplete philosophy/methodology of ministry and international missions. Most notably, transparency and accountability in the area of moral failure have obviously been missing. For decades. And one can only hope that Bangladesh is the worst case in ABWE’s history, but how can we be sure without an open investigation? How can supporting churches be sure that they’ve always been told the truth? They can’t. Unless ABWE submits to GRACE’s investigation without holding back.
the statement about not returning to the field is worded as ” if that return would at all hinder the missionary team, the national church, or the advancement of God’s work”. I find this very understandable.
The problem, Clarify, is that ABWE is the authority figure deciding what that statement means (WHAT hinders the team, the nat’l church, the advancement of God’s work) and ABWE tends to respond to its missionaries with an authoritarian approach, leaving out the sending and supporting churches in decisions. Many would say that this is the flaw. The sending church only has as much power as ABWE allows them to have, and when the chips are down and things get ugly, history SEEMS (seems) to be showing us that ABWE takes the local/sending church out of the equation of accountability. ABWE is certainly not alone in this model, but is it a good one?
— Tamara Barrick Rice
What I’ve learned, Clarify, is that words on a page don’t mean a whole lot in an authoritarian system. ABWE’s clause, however it’s worded, is used in a sweeping way to try to keep anyone that disagrees with them away from the field to which God called them. ABWE didn’t call us to Bangladesh, God did. When we learned of crimes (yes, crimes) committed by national leaders being paid with American dollars (often given at great sacrifice by folks in America) and we saw the extent to which ABWE leaders went to cover and protect these abuses, we did everything we could to make these things known to those in authority over us. When it became clear that there was no intention of “acting justly” we left the field and later resigned from the mission, stating correctly at that time that the things we saw violated our consciences. Instead of conducting a promised investigation, we were sent a “Confidential” letter from the President of ABWE asking us not to return to Bangladesh. We received the same request from ABWE’s South Asia director. You see, it is much easier to get rid of the messenger than it is to deal with the message. Lord willing, all this will come to light soon. And I have yet to find in the Bible a justification for making missionaries sign a statement like this.
I find it interesting that from 2003 until today nobody from ABWE has ever asked us about what we know that caused us to uproot our family, leave people we loved, move 13,000 miles back to Michigan, give up a paycheck and all the great perks we had, and finally resign from ABWE. Did we do it all for a lie? If so, why doesn’t someone call us on that lie? The reason is because they know I’m telling the truth. They know it’s all a house of cards out there in terms of their national church leadership.
Your directives are excellent! They are well thought out and are EXACTLY what mission boards need today. They could and SHOULD be applied to any of our modern mission boards.
I can see where this type of thinking got you into trouble. It sounds like such a refreshing return to what missions should be – and in such direct contradiction to the way missions is carried out in our day.
Thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts to words and for having the courage to share with with the waiting, waiting mission world.
Just read your post Phil and it is OUTSTANDING. You have terrific insight into what is wrong with ABWE, but unfortunately with our fundamental churches today. I have not been keeping up as frequently daily as I have had many unusual demands with my profession as of late. Once again I am irritated to say the very least with the stalling, and the stonewalling from ABWE. I guess we can say, “well, they don’t disappoint us.” By now we can all write their script. I will continue to pray again for all those involved.
I’ve spent some time reviewing the documents at the top of the blog recently. I’ve read them before but a closer look was very revealing. I would encourage every person, who is interested in seeing justice finally come, to re-read the documents again. I’m referring to the Lloyd Diary…Ebersole Letter…Board Confession…Loftis Letters and the Attorney Davis Email.
After reviewing these documents and considering the unfolding of events from July 1989 to the present, I have come to the conviction that there are really only TWO POSSIBLE CONCLUSIONS that make any rational sense:
1) A MASSIVE COVER-UP orchestrated by ABWE leadership
2) COMPLETE INCOMPETENCE by every sinlge individual from
ABWE who has been involved in this for the past 22 years.
It seems clear that there is no way that this many ABWE “leaders” got it so wrong for so many years…unless they intended to. I have several specific points to support that this has been a MASSIVE COVER-UP that I will present in future posts. I have come to this conclusion by reading their own words from these documents.
To those who have been abused, both sexually and spiritually for so long, take heart…”No lie can live forever” (Martin Luther King).
Well said. I agree that there is no way this abuse could have gone “unnoticed” for so long without individuals in leadership intentionally shushing the abused and their families. We must stand with the abused and make their voices heard.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
It is incomprehensible to me that there is anything YET to figure out or understand as to how ABWE should respond UNLESS there are sweeping changes being proposed? John McTernan in his book “Final Warning to America” makes the point that we don’t fully recognize the holiness of God. We readily welcome God’s mercy and forgiveness and rightly so, but don’t speak very much of His holiness and the coming judgment. Maybe if those innocent and vulnerable children who were (and are) so special to Jesus’ heart were given the necessary protection years ago there would be no need for this blog? Maybe if those who failed so many could look forward to that promised meeting with our Lord rejoicing because they had done all that they could do? Maybe if there is true accountability and repentence we can all really appreciate and sing the following very familiar hymn: AMAZING GRACE sung by 4 Men Beautifully?
http://www.clarrissegill.com/videoclips/amazing_grace.php
Phil,
You are right! I served for 17 years as a missionary, and I could not agree with you more. This sad issue is not just about the horrible crimes committed by DK, it is about the system that fostered an atmosphere in which evil men like DK, and, as you have so cogently stated, could flourish. There have been many, far too many, missionaries like you that have been silenced, swept out, and marginalized by mission boards like ABWE. The sad part in this is that they justify it by saying, “We’re Reaching the Lost for Christ.” Is Christ truly the center of missions today? Do we believe that the means justify the ends? Could it be that Christ is standing at the door of our churches today and knocking for us to let Him in as our Lord, and through us, He is seeking to direct our missionary efforts and methods? Where do we go from here?
PS – Let’s stay on our knees together and pray this thing through to the end!
I continue to be impressed with your restraint and patience.
God bless you all for your good spirit.
Pastor Peter Waud
Fellowship Baptist Church
Burien, WA
Phil, “They” probably didn’t ask because,
–the “they” that already knew didn’t need to ask
–the “they” that didn’t know why figured it wasn’t their business, keeping your privacy, confidentiality, turning their eyes away from your “shame” or whatever offense they imagined you must have committed.
–perhaps for all “they” knew you were another DK and they are to keep quiet.
It isn’t limited to ABWE. It isn’t limited to mission boards. I experienced it in a church. It is a cult-like atmosphere. Maybe not a cult- cult, but some of the same dynamics arise when leaders use some of the same authoritarian and deceitful ways of leadership as in cults.
After reading the documents at the top of this blog I am just wondering why the current leadership of ABWE doesn’t simply step down for the future of ABWE? It seems as if even the current leaders have been aware of this horrific sin for approximately 10 years and have done nothing about it. Words like “incompetent”, “unwilling”, “cover-up”, “Pharisee”, all come to mind. It seems as if stepping down would be the most honorable thing to do in a situation like this.
How will churches who support this organization possibly be able to continue without a clean sweep?
To quote one of my favorite songs:
Take this sinking boat and point it home, we’ve still got time.
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice.
You’ve made it known.
We’ve said it before. ABWE has a chance to turn the ship around. They definitely stalled the engines … but whether or not they are willing to turn it around still remains to be seen.
I got an email today from the board today. They are still “engaged in the process with GRACE.” An agreement has NOT yet been reached.
Why are they “still engaged in the process with GRACE?” Why has an agreement not been reached yet? Those statements tell me that ABWE is trying to control the investigation. ABWE you need to do what is right and stop putting up speed bumps and road blocks. As Dr. Bob Jones Sr. said, “Do right till the stars fall”. What is there to engage in? If your hearts are pure simply turn the investigation over completely to GRACE. By doing so, your actually living up to your apology and showing you want to do what is right. Otherwise, it can come across as if you are buying more time to shred more paper.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. They must not have gotten it all shredded yet.
After a month of silence, praying, waiting, hoping, that’s it? Are they hoping we’ll just go away? Have they mistaken a month of patience for satisfaction? If so, then they are very, very wrong. I would guess that many of us have just been watching and waiting.
Maybe there could be another thread on this blog now about what each of us can do to push this issue further? A petition?
I received information from a member of the ABWE Board today and that person assured me that things are continuing to move in the right direction. Like many of you, I am disappointed that it is taking so very long, but I have tried to remember how busy I have been personally over the last month and I try to imagine all that I am doing x 22 board members….that helps me be a little more patient. My husband and I were commenting today about how it’s not like they are taking on a new missionary, or accepting a new pastorate position, or even just buying house (or whatever). This is life or death for them (maybe we all see this more clearly than they do) so why on earth is this taking so very long? But, I am trying to still believe and wait patiently. I am trying to be understanding that this is all relatively new information to these people (minus Michael Loftis) and they have needed time to digest and pray. For many of us we have been carrying this burden for over 22 years and we are more than ready to be done with it!
I do have one question: why on earth are there 22 men/women on this board? Why an even number? Seems kinda ODD. =)
A discussion in a meeting at work yesterday really made me think similar thoughts — your comment just drove it home.
The discussion at work was about “the curse of knowledge” (from “Made to Stick”) — forgetting what it’s like not to know something. While the discussion was about the world of marketing, I couldn’t help but make some application to this situation. For me, it is often hard to put myself in the shoes of someone who has had no knowledge of any of this. I’m sure some have had a very, very hard time processing this and wrapping their minds around the implications of it all.
That said, though, I’m sure some are dragging their feet. Otherwise, we’d have had an agreement a month ago — or at least last night. But convincing 22 people to agree on anything, especially finer points of a contract well, good luck.
If I were a current ABWE missionary, however, I think I’d be even more disheartened. Think of the public outcry it took to get things this far for what has become a large group of people. Wow.
We know that in the past, individuals’ concerns were dismissed or addressed inappropriately. But what does it say to the current missionary that the current admin., the current board, have taken two months (and counting) to decisively act on our behalf? What hope do they have of their personal concern being addressed in a timely and appropriate manner? It is sad and scary to me.
Yes, Deb – I agree! I agree that this would not bring me any comfort to see that ABWE is dragging their feet if I were one of their missionaries. This is such a black and white issue and men and women of true, godly character would know what needs to be done – no matter what. Things get muddied when you start listening to the counsel of men, whether those men be other pastors, presidents of organizations, lawyers, etc. Man is afraid. But God? He wants LIGHT shone into dark places. He wants to get the glory for what He can do with a problem that seem insurmountable or irrecoverable. He wants to draw people to Himself through this process. (Both saved and unsaved.)
Would it be terrifying? YES! Would the unknown be worrisome? YES! But is there ANY question what God would have them do? NO. Someone mentioned the sinking ship…I believe they wouldn’t be sinking – rather they would be flourishing – if Michael Loftis had addressed this properly in 2002. But pride and fear stepped in, took over and now they are scrambling to undo his mistakes along with Kempton’s past mistakes. For you naysayers out there – yes, these are Loftis’ mistakes. He had his opportunity to correct Kempton’s error but he chose rather to clean up the little bit he knew about as quietly as possible. Funny to me how the women he addressed in 2002 are the daughters of high-profile missionaries – men who remained on ABWE staff or had served in high-profile positions on the field. But the daughter of the maintenance man – the 14 year old? No. She just needed to be dealt with. Loftis made some very poor choices that made an even bigger mess of her story. I am confident you all will hear more about this in the very near future and it will break your hearts even more.
As far as how it should be done? Here is a great example of men and women who are obeying God:
This article came from USA Today – a cover story, I believe. THIS is how is should be done. THIS is godly. This is living life with a proper FEAR of GOD rather than a fear of man.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-05-09-vienna-virginia-church-abuse-case-lawyers-insurers_n.htm
So you haven’t seen me here on the blog for a good month now. Since we were told that ABWE would submit to GRACE as the third party I decided to get off and pray and sit back and watch. I have been hopeful. However, the hope is fading! Just like all the other times when ABWE was asked to do something and they stalled. To buy time? Probably. And that is what they are probably trying to do now. We will not just go away. I know someone very close to my heart that I love very much and for her sake and the sake of the other victims they need to own up to their mistake and fully submit to GRACE. Sometimes, when we wait to do what we know is the right thing to do, God takes that window of opportunity and closes it. ABWE, are you going to let God close that window and allow other things take place that you do not want to happen? Yes, God is gracious and I believe that these victims have been gracious as well. But enough is enough! Let go and let God take care of it! I have been told that many times in my life. When I did, He did a better job then I would ever have. He has made me and my family who we are! It is not us! What you see displayed here on this blog by my family is all God! We cannot take credit for any of it! God has allowed things to happen in our lives. Why? For His glory! I know most of the board members are Pastors and others in high positions. Pastors, in this type of situation in your church what would you do? I would only hope, if I was a member of your church, that you would do what God and His word exhorts us to do. This should not be something to take lightly. But I also know if you are a man of God and His word, you know that you need to make a decision SOON! God dealt with sin immediately in the Bible. He is our Great Example. You need to follow His footsteps and do likewise! I am not begging you to make a right decision. I know that if you do not make the right decision in this God will still allow the truth to come out! He has a way of doing that! I just we told my kids the other day “Be sure your sins will find you out”. Even though its been 22 years later! ABWE has not been able to hide anything from God. He knows and sees ALL! For that reason just throw in the towel and let go! I have prayed for this daily. Many days more than one time. I do have a life to carry on. I want to continue to serve God. Satan could use all of this to keep me and my husband and my family from serving God effectively. I don’t want God’s church (Gilead Baptist Church of Allen Park, Mi) to be hindered in any way b/c of this. I will continue to pray but I will continue to serve and do what I am suppose to do, where God has me right now. I suggest that others do the same. Continue to pray for ABWE and its board members, fight for the truth, but remember to continue to serve God! Don’t forget to put first what He has called you to do.
This blog needs to continue. Keep it going! That is how the story got out for all to see. Lets keep fighting. I am willing to fight for the victims! Whatever it takes! Like I said…my sister is the one that is closest to my heart. The 14 year old girl. I WILL continue to fight for her and the other ladies! They deserve better treatment then what they have been given.
I can’t imagine what the Pastors on the board have to face. They are human just like we are. They have families also like we do. Now, they have had this put in their laps to deal with. I am willing to cut a little slack. But just a little. I know what it is like to get more added to your plate just when other things have heated up. Lets pray for these Pastors and be thankful that we don’t have to sit and deal with something else outside of our church problems. We don’t know what else they are having to tend to.
Enough said! I will continue to fervently pray and wait! But not wait for much longer!
Sister of 14 year old girl
Anne Smith
Diana,
AWESOME article! What praise and glory to God when His people do what is right before Him and let Him handle the consequences.
1Pe 3:17
For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
“They (the Board) are still “engaged in the process with GRACE.” An agreement has NOT yet been reached.” Hmmm? Would that be WHETHER to have an investigation or how can we NARROW the focus to minimize the consequences? It seems to me that the Lord wants to be on the throne for ALL matters. Not just what we are willing or wanting to hand over. So I ask. What’s to decide?
While we do not have an update for you on the GRACE status, we do want to remind you that we are collecting contact information for when the third party is hired. The point person for this is Pastor Dave DeCook, an MK from Bangladesh. Please check out our post here for more.
“Open our eyes, O loving and compassionate Jesus, that we may behold Thee walking beside us in our sorrow.” Will C. Macfarlane
maybe this is a better section for this ..
Sent this email to the ABWE Board:
ABWE Board,
I am the husband of one of the MK’s from the time that Dr. Ketchum was on the field. My wife and I have been vocal supporters of the blog, those who created it and it’s intent.
At the same time, I know one board member personally and have been confident of his desire to see truth win out and justice done. I still believe this, and I am confident he is a voice for a Godly response to this sin and to seek justice, regardless of consequences.
However, the long wait between words and actions have eroded my faith in the process. These victims have begged for justice and have chosen to seek out ABWE over and over. They have even allowed ABWE to choose an independent entity to lead the investigation rather than seek out legal action under the new PA failure to report laws. That is grace and a Godly response.
We were so relieved and thankful for the words of the board apology, only to be disheartened by the insensitive “answers to questions” post that followed. Then pleased and again, praised God, that the board agreed that an independent investigation was necessary. I was even more encouraged that, a month ago, you agreed to ask GRACE to do that investigation. While anxious for action, we waited, knowing that logistics and details often take time and felt reassured that the relationship with GRACE would be formal in this 30 day window.
Today I find that out on the blog, that for some reason, you have not followed your courageous words with swift action. This causes deep hurt and suspicion. These victims and their families have been told to, “wait and all will be handled”, by ABWE for decades. Each time, they were woefully failed. This feels like the empty promises of the past. All the while the world watches and the story spreads to other blogs, media, churches, missionaries, Christian organizations and concerned and disgusted individuals. I do not think you can afford to stall. If for no other reason than theses women are being hurt by the wait. Why continue to protect the organization at the expense of truth and the victims? What could possibly stall that endeavor? Please act sooner and do not make the poor families continue to suffer and be forced to seek other avenues for the justice they deserve. Please, do not listen to counsel that advises you to protect themselves, yourselves, the leadership or ABWE.
As my wife continues to say, “God can protect His work, we need to protect His children”.
I am praying for more courage and resolve for you.
In Christ,
David Beddoe
It’s absolutely unbelievable! You would think that the Board of ABWE is taking a walk in the park. Somehow all 22 of these “leaders” have missed the urgency of the situation. Their passive approach has cost this organization precious points in the credibility category. The power that they are so desperately trying to hold on to has already slipped away from them…they
just can’t see it! Their integrity is gone and along with it their true (power) ability to lead. It is truly a very sad thing to witness. Even in this their corporate character is revealed and God’s purposes will prevail.
“…the Lofty tree will be felled, the tall ones will be brought low”. (Isa. 10:33)
Although it can be frustrating and hard to understand, I think we need to remember that none of us are in that board room to actually know what is going on. Have any of the moderators heard from GRACE that the board is being difficult to deal with? I do not know many of those on the board or at the home office, but I do know some in both areas and find it impossible to believe they would be willing to do the shredding and hiding proposed by some on here.
I appreciate the post above mentioning trying to keep in mind that this is not buying a car or home….
Clarify, you’re right this is not buying a home or a car. But it is making good on a promise to make the matter transparent, and one has to wonder how the matter and any questions about GRACE were not solved on the first day of the board meetings, after a month to gather questions and clarify answers. Was it not the first agenda item, given churches are threatening to withhold funds from missionaries if they do not act? Given the integrity of their organization hangs in the balance?
Or are they trying to make it business as usual at these meetings, saving this matter for last as a stubborn and subtle act of defiance … that their agenda, their feathers will NOT be ruffled by a bunch of “MKs” (as opposed to Christian adults in their 30s and 40s) who’ve brought a lot of inconvenient truths out into the light.
I laughed at some on another board discussing this matter, saying we (referring to abused MKs) need to be quiet now and move on so “prevention” can be the focus. It’s laughable, because how can we learn anything about prevention if we do not study the truth about the past? Any plan of prevention (of anything) is worthless if it does not involve a careful study of facts and how things went wrong in the first place–and consequences for those who did not act rightly. And for that, an investigation is vital.
Can you imagine a church taking over a month to decide the details of an investigation they’ve already promised after it’s already been shown that one of their pastors has been involved in pedophelia and sexual abuse and that the other leaders of the church have covered up details of this abuse for over two decades? I’m sorry, but “we’re busy people” doesn’t cut it with me. And it’s not unreasonable to think that people who have hidden the truth for decades wouldn’t do anything in their power to keep the full truth from coming out.
Just have one more thing to say. How hard is it to just find a desk, keys to the filing cabinet, secure phone line, fax machine and copy clearance and codes, a spot in the corner, a large coffee pot (even with paper cups) and a humble heart? Give it up ABWE. Let GRACE start cleaning house. Stop negotiating. This is maddening. One more question – Have they notified the Medical Board in the State of Michigan. That’s not hard either. Pick up the phone, tell them what happened and own it. Disgusting.
We have good reason to believe that they made a report to the Michigan board of medicine on 3/29/11, because we know (thanks to a friend’s inquiry) that for sure one was made that day (the day prior to the ABWE letter of confession). The board of medicine will not give details of the report other than the date one was filed and case number, so we are not aware of what all was reported (i.e., one case of pedophilia or multiple). It might be nice for ABWE to offer a copy of their report, but that hasn’t happened yet.
— Tamara Rice
“The first great enemy to lasting change is the propensity to turn our eyes away from the wound and pretend things are fine. The work of restoration cannot begin until a problem is fully faced.” — Dan Allender, The Wounded Heart (Navpress)
If a serial felon–a criminal–turns himself in to law enforcement authorities after years of crime, should he praised for such a display of conscience? Hardly.
If a citizen watches her neighbor’s home be vandalized repeatedly for years, knowing who the vandals are, and finally calls the police to report what she has seen, is she to be lauded for her brave vigilance? Nope.
Then…
If a CEO admits that he possessed damning information about sexual abuse of minors within his organization and waited for 9 years to express outrage and compassion for the multiple victims, is he to be hailed as a trusted leader? Are his words even believable? After all, by his own declaration isn’t his desk where the buck stops?
If a Governing Board learns of executive misconduct in handling criminal allegations and still does not act decisively after 7 weeks, is that Board to be commended for its transparent actions…even if it ultimately signs off on a no-holds-barred agreement with GRACE?
You make the call.
I watched closely yesterday for some word from the Board at the ABWE. I checked first thing this morning and can only imagine that my disappointment is nothing compared to those whose lives have been affected by this. I am so sorry that the ABWE is causing further pain and hurt in lives that they have been so careless with.
I was trying to understand how they could have NOT reached an agreement with GRACE. In my mind, this seems so clear, so black and white. I prayed and asked God to calm and soothe my heart. The passage I looked at this morning was Numbers 20. I’m sure a minister or pastor would have so much more to put into this, but what grabbed me was how Moses, who was leading the people and who had a special relationship with God, was not allowed into the Promised Land because he did not obey God. When he struck the rock twice, out of anger, he did not follow God’s instructions. It was not enough to do God’s work; it was to be done in God’s way and for his credit and glory. I was reminded that sometimes what or who we see as successful (ABWE) might not be all that they appear since our eyes and understanding are not God’s.
I pray with you today that God work in their hearts that they realize that somewhere along the way they lost sight of the path, in their pursuit of accolades and accomplishments. I believe that there are people who work through the ABWE that are sincere and their hearts are pure in spreading the gospel and doing their mission work. I trust that the bulk of the Board of the ABWE is comprised of people who are right with God. I am impatient for those who sit the highest there to understand that actions from the past leadership and actions (or rather inaction) from the current leadership have put them on a precipice.
I cling to this and continue to watch and pray with and for you: Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. (Psalm 37:7)
It’s true that ABWE continues to disappoint. And what they fail to see is that every time they disappoint, our site stats grow, and interest in this grows … and trust in ABWE’s good intentions falters. People have been “tuning in” all week to see if ABWE will make good on their announcement of intent to hire GRACE, made exactly 30 days ago.
It’s also true that for about four or five months I’ve had Romans 12:12 painted on my kitchen window in front of me: “Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes. Pray at all times.”
Trying to remember that today.
As a response to “From the bleachers” I’ll make the call…..OUT!! When one compares the consequences of such behavior as enacted by ABWE to the consequences imposed on the same behavior in the “real world” it is strikingly different. If I acted in a criminal way, would I get to choose my jury, choose what evidence could be used in my trial, decide my innocence or guilt and in the end choose my punishment..assuming there would BE A PUNISHMENT??? Let’s get real ABWE. You are beyond protecting your reputation. It is now a matter of restoring the same. And to the Board I say “God is more interested in your integrity than He is in your individual and corporate reputations.” To President Loftis, Head Coach and Trainer. You were out at first base, you were out at second and third bases and you fell on your face at home plate. As much as I’d have sympathy for you to have to look for other work, know that God will provide as He has provided for those of us over the years who have made hard decisions regarding our employment. Know that God is more interested in what you become than in what you DO.
The SPIN certainly doesn’t stop here (ABWE) and they’re definitely NOT looking out for you!
Let me give you an example of the double talk coming from the President’s Office that we’ve grown so nausiatingly tired of. Here’s a little snapshot of the SPIN ZONE using their own words so as not to misrepresent them.
March 30 Board Confession:
“After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed”.
April 9 Loftis Letter to the Missionaries:
“I also made a request for an investigation into the matter”.
Doesn’t it seem strange that President Loftis only shares half of the story in his letter? And isn’t it interesting that he shares the half that makes him look good?
He called for an investigation…that’s good! He failed to complete the investigation…that’s not good! And worse he shades the truth to suit his needs.
And he wonders why many are claiming a cover-up. Doesn’t this kind of spin
continue to erode the leaders and organizations credibility?
TRUTH GOES TWO WAYS WRITES,
It is always good to seek truth. Christianity is built on Jesus, THE way and THE truth.
This blog is seeking to expose the truth about sexual abuse of young women. Now we need a “GRACE” investigation to see IF this blog has been hijacked by individuals misusing scripture, and possibly violating the law in judging the motives and reputations of individuals and of ABWE. A G.R.A.C.E. investigation of the misconduct is barely at the starting line, yet some are being judged, convicted, and sentenced, without a trial. Are some of the comments slanderous, malicious, defamatory and possibly a subject of civil action?
Since this blog is about truth and justice, let’s investigate whether some comments have got over the top.
Truth goes two ways as with a bank robber and his mistreatment by cops who arrested him.
Wally –
Your own dear wife admits that she should’ve done and said more. ABWE also admits to wrong doing – in many years past, 1989, and as recently as 2002. You question whether these things are true? Reread the confession ABWE put out of their own accord (pre-investigation). Or did you miss that document? They themselves say it is TRUE. No, not over the top. In fact, when it is all said and done I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that these MKs have been extremely gracious. Wait and see, wait and see. You only add more abuse by your unkind words. If they are wrong and have been slanderous then let them deal with that when confronted with that truth. If they are right then I am sorry to say that now you, too, will owe them an apology. I hope you’ll be humble enough to give it to them when the time comes, Wally.
Wally, I don’t know you from Adam. But your words and your attitude tell me enough.
No one here is misusing Scripture. Nope, not at all. Christ’s quite clear, actually, when He put the children on His lap and said anyone who causes these little ones to stumble would be better off tying a rock around his neck and going for a swim. That’s quite clear, don’t you think? Now, let’s review: DK molested multiple women. ABWE covered up the abuse for whatever pathetic reason they ginned up at the time. Meanwhile the women continued to struggle, their families struggle and everybody had a rough go of it. Now, confronted with the truth, ABWE first apologizes, then wiggles a bit and finally sits down at the table, though they seem to have clapped their collective hand over their mouth and refuse to speak. Whatever. They CONFESSED to a cover-up. Repeat after me, Wally. THEY CONFESSED.
They’re not the wronged party here (and neither are you after everyone sets you straight). The women are wronged. What was done to them by DK was criminal. What was done, and is still be doing by ABWE, is also criminal. Sorry, dude. That’s the fact of it.
The only way they are guilty of slander or libel is if what they are saying is not true. (Trust me, I’m an expert on that one). Since ABWE acknowledged as much, that dog won’t hunt.
Be careful with rocks. You can’t swim while wearing them.
Wow! Rebecca – good, strong, confrontational response. Like you, I cannot BELIEVE someone wouldn’t wait till the end of the investigation to confront the victims or their family and friends regarding things they have said that might be untrue. Especially with the proof these guys already had in their possession and have posted on here for all to read! Seems to me like Wally might be worried more about the damage to his friends than the damage done to these little ones. Shame on him!
Judging motives and reputations or judging ACTIONS . . . I say the latter!
I was just reading in a book that when Christian victims of childhood sexual abuse come forward as adults the biggest battle they face is not necessarily confronting their abusers, but dealing with the reactions and the judgment of other Christians who have their own–often hypocritical–view of what should be DONE about the crimes that were committed.
Seems to be true.
And as for the blog being hijacked, its purpose has always been to expose ABWE’s mishandling of sexual abuse in Bangladesh. Everything that relates to that is relevant.
Wally,
I wince at your final analogy. Who are the cops and robber in this picture? What does this imply about these women?
That aside, I think I hear you. First, I want to clarify my perspective. I am not one of the victims or a relative of a victim. I have however, been a victim of abusive “spiritual” authority. In addition, I have read ALL of the posts.
I agree that some posts might be excessive (over the top, as you put it). I have not seen those posts coming from any of these women victims. In fact, I’ve been impressed by the graciousness and righteousness that they have displayed here. I don’t doubt they could reveal names that haven’t been mentioned. I noticed that a post voicing complaint and naming a name was later removed. I didn’t ask, but assume the poster later recognized it was inappropriate and asked to have it removed.
Perhaps what you are considering over the top are the posts that seem irrationally excessive. From the viewpoint of outsiders (and I am one of them) it is easy to judge that the person is going overboard. I think we need to remember at least a couple of things. 1. We don’t have all the facts. The poster’s words might be moderate considering what they could be. 2. They are speaking from a place of pain. That pain will necessarily cause intense emotions and thoughts.
I have felt some discomfort from some of the non-MK posters intensity and words. I try to remember that they also may be coming from their own place of pain. Is everything said here right, and true, and just and good? Probably not. This is probably part and parcel of any conversation or interaction.
You have implied that judging motives and reputations might be a violation of the law. Huh? How is this? Are you referring to cyber-libel?
You comment on individuals hijacking and misusing scripture on this site. One thing I have learned is that scripture is misused everywhere. That is why the Bereans were commended. They didn’t trust it was true based on who said it but by searching already known truth and basing from that. — I can personally speak to the reality of ABWE teachers misusing scripture. God has been renewing my mind out of the misused scripture taught to me in my childhood that came from multiple teachers, ABWE teachers among them. Perhaps some of what you read here you consider erroneous because it conflicts with what you believe scripture teaches. Perhaps you are in error. I am not your age, but have gotten old enough to recognize how easy it is to become stubborn in my belief that “I know the truth, so leave me alone.” I might be right and you wrong, or vice versa. Alternatively, we could both be wrong. The necessity is recognizing our finite and fallible minds and constant dependency on God to lead us in His truth.
You say that a G.R.A.C.E investigation is barely at the starting line. I think what many of us are questioning is whether an investigation IS at the starting line or whether those words were empty. If those were not empty words from ABWE, I think the question many of us have is, “Why are we still waiting at the line?”
You ask – Are some of the comments slanderous, malicious, defamatory and possibly a subject of civil action?
I highly doubt that any of the DK victims (and this includes their relatives) have made these type of comments. One – I do not sense a malicious spirit. In fact, there are posts that clearly express the opposite. Two – slander is not slander if it is true. These women have made no named claims beyond posted evidence. They have hinted at more and told us that there is other evidence. Again, if true, this is not slander. The same extends to defamation, which is essentially a synonym for slander and libel. Slander is intentional, meant to malign and either false or with disregard to whether or not it is false.
Picking this apart post by post, are there some that appear slanderous according to this definition? Possibly. However, keep in mind that [APPEAR slanderous] is not equal to [ARE slanderous.] You are right. This needs outside evaluation. What is taking ABWE so long to shoot off the starting gun?
One thing in your post that I find curious, disturbing actually, is your comment about the possibility of “civil action” against these posters. What kind of mentality is with this mission? (I know you are one of the “names” and therefore representative to an extent) Would ABWE actually use money given for the purpose of church planting to defend their reputation? The basis of a criminal or civil libel suit is because harm has occurred. How does loss of reputation harm the mission? Loss of supporters? Loss of money? What kind of mission is this? How can such a thing even come to mind? Open revelation of wrongs, acceptance of blame, evidences of repentance and working for restitution will do far more to restore reputation than any legal suit.
Did you see this article?
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-05-09-vienna-virginia-church-abuse-case-lawyers-insurers_n.htm
I read it and thought, “Where is this church? I want to go there!”
Additionally, if we/you/I want to think about possible legal consequences, I think it is important to note that both Russes and any leadership complicit in these years — (this probably includes Loftis and no doubt others. Anyone who knew and did not report it to the civil authorities) – remains liable even now to criminal charges.
These women could have taken this directly there. It is my understanding that they began this blog only after private communication was ignored. Each level that ABWE ignores ups the ante at the next. When this was private, I think that the women would have been satisfied with sincere apologies (with evidence of sincerity) from those involved. Not necessarily DK, but those who enabled DK. Now that the blog has made this public, I think that will not suffice. We (yes, the watching world is now involved) need more than apologies. ABWE needs to clean house. (I personally do not think that requires resignations)
So, is ABWE stalling in order to do their own investigating FIRST?
Are they stalling because they can’t afford to be TRANSPARENT, because it would be too damaging?
Are they stalling because they are hoping the world will stop paying ATTENTION?
Or are they stalling because they are clueless about how this slowness is KILLING their reputation among churches?
What could possibly take SO MANY DAYS to decide?
Wally:
What these girls are saying is the truth. They, WE have been silent for too long. I just can’t believe you would not believe what is being said. If you read this carefully you see the victims almost have the same story and theme throughout the blog. There could be a lot more said but all of the truth, the parts not yet even told, will come out with the investigation. ABWE has admitted the wrong and hurt they have done to these girls – why are you even questioning it? We have struggled and kept quiet for years, finally something is being done and now you say things to hurt others you don’t even know! I don’t understand you at all. I hope that when this is over you will have the grace to admit you were wrong. If you only knew all that has happened all these years you would shake your head and admit how wrong you are. It is unbelievable when you are with a mission who seems to be a family covers it up and protects the criminal instead of the victims.
Thank you! Glad to hear someone Wally might respect speak out. And if he doesn’t respect you, as a mother of a girl who was molested by a trusted adult, then I hold out no hope for the likes of Wally Stephenson.
There is always hope. Praise God that He never stops working in us, or we are all goners.
In 1989, when faxes were still a relatively new technology, and the internet was not yet available to the common man, it took only 3 business days (July 17-20) for 2 men and a secretary to make travel arrangements for themselves and a 14-year-old girl (not related to either of them and whose parents were not even in the US) to fly to Bangladesh for an emergency confrontation.
In 2011, with the fastest internet available to man, with e-tickets and electronic bank transfers, cell phones and iPads galore, it takes 30+++ days to make a decision about hiring G.R.A.C.E to to an independent investigation?
Am I missing something here?
You make me laugh because you are SO RIGHT. Hahahahaha!
For those of you just tuning in… ABWE has the ball. Truth is ahead with ten seconds to go…the question in everyone’s mind tonight is, “Will ABWE pass the ball to GRACE, giving ABWE a chance to save the game or will they stare at the clock and let the timer run out- too proud to admit they need an assist?”
As of today (Day 31 Since Announcement of Intent) …
G.R.A.C.E. has still not been hired by ABWE.
A quote stolen shamelessly from the G.R.A.C.E. Facebook site:
“A church that views the questioning of those in leadership equal to the questioning of God is man centered…and is a very dangerous place.”
My thoughts: I would add, myself, that people who view the questioning of those in Christian leadership as “a threat to God’s work” are also man-centered and in a dangerous place. I suggest reading Leading With a Limp by Dan Allender, which outlines the importance of leaders who can model the process of transparency, humility, repentance, acceptance of forgiveness and ultimately God’s grace to everyone watching, especially those under their leadership.
I would also add that if those in leadership are incapable of modeling these traits on a personal and public level, who under them can be expected to model them at all? And without these traits being modeled by leadership, trickling down constantly spreading humility and grace and reinforcing trust that truth will always be told … what kind of Christianity is this? What kind of Good News can be brought?
Those who are unlike the prideful leaders will eventually give up and leave, tired of banging their heads against a system that does not evolve and grow in integrity. Those who are likeminded with the leadership will get comfortable in the culture of secrecy and become too proud to admit wrong and incorporate change on a personal level, legalism will abound, love for the corporation/mission will be an excuse to marginalize individuals–even family members. As for those who stay but hold out hope for transparency and honesty, they will struggle constantly against the culture of leadership hoping for a new day to eventually dawn.
My hope for them, is that it will.
My name is Christian Pilet. I am an ABWE missionary and have served in that capacity since 1997. Before that time, I was active in ministry and knew many ABWE missionaries, including many of the people mentioned by name in this blog. I am proud to be an ABWE missionary.
Still, I have heard and acknowledged the cries of the victims. The record of this blog will show that my wife and I were among the first active ABWE missionaries to voice our support of the victims. We added our voices to those calling for repentance and an independent investigation.
That said, I can no longer sit back and allow the bashing of ABWE missionaries and administrators to continue without response. Many of the posts in this blog have over-simplified the issues, attempting to paint the people and the issues in hues of black and white. This has, in the course of time, caused this pursuit of justice to become an injustice of its own.
For the record, I wish to say the following:
I knew and admired Wendell Kempton. To this day, I consider him one of the modern-day heroes of the faith, and I am proud to have been his friend. I had the opportunity on many occasions to minister along his side. He was faithful to proclaim the Gospel and to champion the cause of Christ around the world. He was faithful to the end, and his ministry bore an abundance of spiritual fruit.
I know and admire Michael Loftis. I can bear witness to his gracious spirit and love for the Lord. In all my encounters with him, I have seen only the fervency and the sincerity of his love for God and of his desire to see the Gospel proclaimed. I, personally, resent the nasty, snide comments of those who deride him as ‘Dr. Lofty,’ particularly when issued by individuals who admit they do not even know him.
I know and admire Russ Ebersole. I consider him a great champion of the Gospel and a tireless worker toward its proclamation. I have witnessed him serving in the States and overseas, and I bear witness to his love for God and his love for others. I know he made a mistake in judgment in this case. Granted. But I will not stand idly by as others accuse him of evils equal to that of a pedophile. It isn’t right; it isn’t fair; it isn’t just; and it isn’t true. I’ve seen Russ in action, and I can witness to the spiritual fruit of his ministry.
I know and admire Tony Beckett. I have been privileged to know him for many years. He has a deep and passionate love for God, and he is an articulate and gifted preacher of the Gospel. And, just as in the case of Russ, Michael, and Wendell, I have witnessed the effectiveness and spiritual fruit of his ministry
And I know and admire Wally Stephenson. I count it an honor to call him a friend, and I deeply resent those who have eviscerated him on this blog because he dared to call for balance. Wally, like the other men listed above, has demonstrated his love for the Lord through long years of faithful service. He deserves better than he has received on this blog.
It is right to call for justice, but that call itself must be made according to justice. When a call for justice is issued unjustly, unrighteousness is the result. At that point, a crowd becomes a lynch mob. Frankly, that’s pretty much what this blog has degenerated into – the cries of a lynch mob. “Off with their heads,” goes the cry, “Off with their heads.” And if someone dare protest, the mob turns and cries, “He, too, must go to the guillotine. Off with his head.”
I assume the cry for my head will soon be issued. But before you ‘victims’ get high and mighty, let me say this. I, too, was the victim of a terrible and hidden sexual abuse. I, too, know what it is to suffer, and I, too, know what is to experience injustice. I am not naïve in my understanding of sexual abuse and its long-term consequences. I know how hard it can be to forgive and move on.
And, still, I say, you have gone too far. Your righteousness has become self-righteousness; your justice, injustice. Stop.
All it takes for evil to flourish is for “good” men to do nothing.
Christian,
You know these men? Bully for you, then. And I mean this seriously, thank you for taking an early stand. I don’t know these men, but I know their actions in recent weeks and months. I know these women, a few of them anyway. And I know perpetrators. And I know that while that quote of Burke’s is darn near clichéd, it’s still true. They have done too much “nothing” in the not-so-distant past to get any credit with me here. These good men you know, they forced a 14-year-old to sign a “confession.” They practically kidnapped a child and flew her around the world to confront her “lover.” They covered up the actions of a pedophile. They sat idly by while the victims struggled and wept. They had important things to do, I am sure: ministries to run, tracts to print in a thousand languages, Bibles to thump in a hundred meetings. Because they preach well, their voice is to be heard louder? Because they are the heads they are more valuable than the feet that carry the body and the hands that do the work? David’s ministry bore good fruit too. It doesn’t mean Bathsheba didn’t mourn the murder of her husband at his hand, or maybe feel a little bit awkward in their subsequent marriage.
You call for balance. What exactly is imbalanced here? Calls for immediate action? Naming the sin for what it is? Suggesting that perhaps there’s a bit to much human nature involved in the silence atop the mountain? Previous posters didn’t call for balance. They had the unmitigated gall to compare this to thieves roughed up by cops. They have told everyone to be quiet b/c the survivors’ calls were getting a bit too inconvenient, maybe a bit too loud. And now you add your request to theirs.
Give them one good reason not to cry out. Because the board said 31 days ago they will do something? Because a flowery apology was made (before the demeaning letters to the churches were sent out)? Because you know these men and they do good work for Jesus? I think those are the same things that have been said for far too long. I’d love it if you had another.
And please, I say this seriously as well, do not misapply your anger at those of us who are nowhere near as gracious and patient as the women who have been wronged. If you want to be irritated with me, that is fine. We have never met and I have said before I have no dog in this fight other than a love for my childhood friends. And I tend to be a bit intolerant of such silliness. I sit in courtrooms all day, every day, and watch victims plead for justice and child molesters find excuses. I listen to wives fuss at the judge that they really didn’t mean to let it go on this long, they thought it stopped. Then I watch former victims come back in on subsequent drug charges or prostitution charges or whatever they struggle with in their nearly-ruined lives caused by the carelessness of someone who they thought protected them and loved them. It’s exhausting and demoralizing to see the same behavior in those who claim to be so much different than the “world.”
Forgive me, a sinner, any way that I have caused offense. In my effort to defend those who have needed much more than they have received for so very long, I know I have become angry. In my anger, I attempt to sin not. I often fall short.
Rebecca,
For the record, I see you as a rabble-rouser. Don’t let your frustrations about the injustice you see every day over-run your mind so that you assume equal injustice is happening here. I’m sure you know the signs and see signs that there is and has been injustice at ABWE Nevertheless, your outrage is beyond necessary and beyond reasonable and I suspect reactionary to the frustrations your feel in your job. Don’t assign judgment until judgment is clearly deserved.
For example, I know that sociopaths can fool everyone. Perhaps one or more of these men are actually sociopaths. However, I am not going to let my knowledge of this, and perhaps having been personally burned by a sociopath (I haven’t) cause me to assign that category to all persons who might have one or two traits. (I do question that possibility about DK)
Debbie– For the record, I am a rabble-rouser. But I do so openly and with a pure heart. See above post. I desire nothing for anyone but healing and peace. Peaceful words and suggestions that everyone calm down are in fact not the same as peace. And they are not justice. I am here because I love these women. And I am here because, in fact, not because of the frustrations I see in my work but because I see justice done every day and see no good reason why those in the Christian world should not behave accordingly.
Just today, in fact, a man arrested for rape in March pleaded guilty. He will be sentenced by the end of June. See, it can happen quickly. And it should. When there is no question of guilt, there is no reason to drag it out. There is no reason for ABWE to not say to GRACE, here are our books. Here are our contacts. Have a go.
My only anger here has been 1–for the unnecessary and hurtful delays and then 2–toward those who seem to be so quick again to toe the company line at the expense of those hurt. I am not, nor have I assigned judgment. I’ve just stepped in to defend. If anyone feels judged, that’s on them.
Again, forgive me, a sinner and do not let your irritation with this rabble-rouser cloud the good work done here.
In peace, Rebecca.
Speaking as one of the “rabble” it is not a post like Rebecca’s that rouses me. Some of the things that DO rouse me fundamentally are:
the fact that this blog had to come into existence as a last resort after years of trying privately to get a proper response from the ABWE administration because the abuse was exponentiated by the cover-up of the crimes and the humiliation and hushing up of the victims;
the fact that Phil Walsh and the horrifying crimes he is aware of have been brushed off and continue to be brushed off because he plays soccer with villagers so he couldn’t possibly be telling the truth (sic);
the attitude of some that because men have done many wonderful works for the Lord in His name they should be held to a different standard than an ordinary citizen who is required by law and common decency to report abuse crimes to civil authorities;
that Mr. Pilet put the word victims in quotes, meaning? that he doesn’t believe that they are victims? before going on to warn them against getting high and mighty and slamming the blog for having degenerated into a lynch mob (sic);
and comments to posters such as “your outrage is beyond necessary and beyond reasonable”. It seems that because of Rebecca’s position at work she sees MORE of the effects of sexual abuse/pedophilia than the average citizen, so her reaction should be noted as not just reasonable, but as having weight, and definitely not demeaned as rabble rousing! I think Rebecca SHOULD react similarly to the frustrations she sees in her job! I think equal injustice IS EXACTLY what has happened here! Those reactions are what will help fulfill one of the hopes for this blog-“We hope and pray that this blog will result in a change of heart at ABWE as far as not tolerating perpetrators of child abuse of any form, regardless of the title in front of the perpetrator’s name. In addition, we hope that the mission will finally call Dr. Ketcham’s actions crimes, not just sins, and act accordingly.”
Mr. Stephenson’s post does not rouse me, it just confuses me because I find the cop and robber analogy peculiar: is he saying the robber (DK?) of the bank (the victims) is an equal victim of the cops (ABWE?) I wonder if he might not have read all of the 1,000+ posts and/or the supporting documents yet and might clarify for us later on what he was trying to say.
I have been rebuked for having “a tendency to wax eloquent in unnecessary, emotionally-charged verbiage” regarding this issue, so I have been trying not to post, but I find it at least as hard not to defend those like Rebecca who are doing a clear and more concise job.
Rhonda Archibald
Rebecca,
Wow! I’m glad to hear justice is done everyday. Perhaps the system is better than my cynical thoughts. I’ve called it the American injustice system. I’ve often thought that I couldn’t work in that setting as I’d be tearing my hair out in frustration about all the continued injustice to the victims.
Regarding the rest of your response to me – it sounds like you and I are probably saying and wanting basically the same thing. Perhaps the problem is that you hear me saying such and such and I hear you saying such and such, and neither of us is saying what the other hears.
In regard to Rebecca being a rabble-rouser:
Yes! You pegged her! And as she has already done, she will own it. I love that rabble rouser friend of mine for just that. She doesn’t need your approval in order to post her thoughts. And she won’t ever back peddle. LOVE that about her. She also won’t sit back and drink the Kool-Aid that is served her just because you say it is okay to. She will question, test, and require proof. She will research and study. If anyone knows what she believes and why, it is Rebecca – because she has done the work required to understand it. And the most admirable part is that she is not afraid to lead the pack – even if no one joins her. For the record…Rebecca and I are on the same team. She has my back and I have hers. I am proud to say that Rebecca has been my friend since childhood (yes, even when we were bitter rivals by the time Fridays would roll around).
In regard to Rhonda Archibald –
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your post.
Love everything that you said.
Love that you waxed eloquent today, even in the face of oppostion. Way to go!
Thank you, friends. You encouraged my heart today in more ways than I can say. Love you both!
Most of us realize that the “real stars” of any organization like this are those who are at the front lines, like yourself. Your service is appreciated!
But it seems that the theme of your post touches on one of the core issues in all of this. For far too long many have worshipped at the Altar of ABWE and bowed at the Pedestals of People. It is glaringly apparent that there has been far too much Self-Admiration and Mutual-Admiration in this society. Many have experienced the brazen arrogance first-hand. It appears that God will tolerate it no longer and has allowed the truth to be known. ABWE has made every attempt to cover the truth for 22 years…But “no lie can live forever” (MLK).
God admires the weak…the helpless and the lowly. Jesus admired the children, inviting them to come to Him. The cries of the “little ones” have reached His ears and they will not be silenced. And neither will our voices…until justice finally comes!
I appreciate your email. I think there is validity to the words. There are those here who sound like they are trying to rally a lynch mob. I spoke to this awhile back although I compared it to those rallying the crowds in North Africa. Typical of such folk, their voices are loud, although I think they are actually a minority.
I think it is easy to paint with too wide a brush, to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. I think that has been done in some of the posts here. I hope you are not also using too wide a brush. It seems you charge the entirety of what is here as unrighteous. I believe that I have tried to be moderate in all of my posts. (I’m certain there are also others. Without checking to verify, Diane Durill and Susanah come to mind.) I am not one of the victims and don’t know what it is like to go through what they are going through. I’m sure that makes it easier for me to suspend judgment.
I recently read a book “The good news about injustice” In it, the author mentioned that it is difficult to get from the victim the solid facts needed to present a case. Questioning, “How do you know” and such things tends to cause the victim to feel threatened. They -know- because they were there, it happened to them! They feel like they are being called a liar. I think some of that might be happening here. Added to that, I think there are others who are not the victims of this particular offense and are making their judgments on hearsay.
I cannot blindly accept words as unadulterated truth no matter how much I love and respect someone. That is true both with these ladies and the leaders at ABWE. (WHY there needs to be an independent investigation)
I have no reason to think that these ladies lie about the essence of the offense. Additionally, evidence attests to it. I assume they are telling the truth. However, I also have no personal evidence to indicate that any of the ABWE leaders are lying about the essence of what they are presenting. I have confusion and questions because there seems to be points of conflict that make it impossible to accept both sides as representing pure truth. (saying again, this is WHY there needs to be independent investigation)
Ladies, I am in no way demeaning or maligning or questioning your integrity. Disagreeing with those who call for resignation and my concern about posts that are sometimes acerbic in no way means I am against you. I think some here are reacting as “if you are not for us you are against us.” I agree with what Christian observed. However, I don’t think it is across the board as he seems to be saying. There is too much of it though. Then again, even one time is too much for my sensitivities.
Regarding Kempton, Loftis and Russ Ebersole – again, I have no personal or proven evidence to think poorly of them as people, to cast them into the role of bad guys.
I recall only one personal interaction that I had with Kempton. However, my friend was his secretary for years up until his death. I learned from her that he stepped into an MK’s life and had regular correspondence for the rest of his life with that individual. When his crimes sent this young man to jail his family rejected him. Kempton stepped in and became an encourager and mentor to this adult MK.
In the interactions I’ve had with Dr. Loftis in both conversation and email I’ve experienced nothing but graciousness. Of course, with both men (with ALL of us), godliness does not preclude reprehensible behavior. I think that is something we all need to remember.
Regarding Russ Ebersole: he is my beloved Uncle Russ. I groaned when I read the diary pages and saw what he did. I am dismayed, not so much that he did such a thing, but that in all the years since he has not recognized and apologized for his sin against that girl (now woman), that family and those who have been hurt as the ripples of that sin spread into their lives. Does that change my love and respect for him? No. I know too much good about him and a lesson that God has taught me in the last decade is that good men can do bad things. It doesn’t flip them into “bad men”
I know nothing about Wally Stephenson other than what I read in his grief book. I know nothing about Tony Beckett except that I have a vague recollection that he has some connection to BBC, and that I listened to some sermons that I borrowed from my parents. Or perhaps they were sermons from when the ME was at BBC? I don’t recall the subject but know they nourished me. (I think it was Tony Beckett)
Related to all this is a book I am reading right now. (although you won’t understand the connection unless you read it) The book title is: [Sins of a father, forgiving the unforgivable. Author – Kitty Chappell-] I am midway through and last night as I read, I thought “Wow,” but not because of the details of the horrific abuse. I thought wow because of all the zings to my own life. She clarifies that she was a victim but is not a survivor. Instead, she is an over-comer. If you have ever been offended by anyone (even minor) and had difficulty forgiving, READ THIS BOOK! (isn’t that all of us?)
I have had Russ Ebersole and his wife in my home and I have to admit they didn’t leave my home with my respecting them but that is not the issue. I find this woman seems to have a scale, so since the good she thinks of them out weighs the bad she thinks of them that is enough for her to keep respecting them. My opinion of this sordid sin of Dr. Donn Ketcham and then the miss-handling of the sin is based on the evidence of letters I have read, not my personal opinion of Dr. Wendell Kempton, nor of Russ Ebersole, nor of Tony Beckett, nor I might add of Russ Lloyd. I don’t think love or respect for these men is the issue but what are the facts?
Pamela,
By “this woman” are you referring to me? I will assume so, and respond, that you are not understanding my words if you think that is what I mean. See what I wrote under Susannahs post below, for further explanation.
I am speaking to what seems to be black and white judgments. People are not all good or all bad. I think love and respect is at least part of the issue. If this thing causes me to lose all respect and love I have for them in other matters, then I have lost any objectivity and cannot be counted on to accurately determine facts.
Oh, and Pamela,
Calling me “this woman” rather than by my name is disrespectful.
You don’t know me from Adam(Eve). Even if you did, what makes you think you understand exactly what I am saying? How is it that you know my heart and motivations? You don’t. You can’t. Just as I don’t and can’t know yours.
Perhaps all the current flurry of posts are among people who AGREE in the main points, that the sins of DK and the sins of ABWE need to be exposed and dealt with. Perhaps it is the particulars, the manner and attitude that is the point we are trying to address.
In all of this I am NOT speaking about those who began this blog and their fellows. I am in full support of the blog and its purpose. I am speaking to the rabblerousers among us, those who seem to be attempting to rally a lynch mob.
I personally was saying that I saw some validity in Christians thoughts. He was right, wasn’t he, that he would be jumped on with an “off with your head” response? Reactionary responses are becoming common here, rather than pausing to consider if there are words of truth in what the speaker says, or if we are correctly interpreting the speaker in the first place.
Do they always serve Kool-Aid at Candidate Class?
Think! Use your head!
Just because you know they’ve done good things, doesn’t mean they have ONLY done good things.
Good people make bad choices.
Bad things happen.
There are consequences for bad choices.
Moses was a good man. He did A LOT of good things. He made a bad choice. He did not enter the Promised Land.
So true. Donn Ketcham did enough good things to be written about in at least one book (by Mary Lou Brownell) if not others about Bangladesh. And many would have said similar things about his great character, preaching, his heart for the lost and for God, and fruit of his work back in the 70s and 80s, and that he was a good friend. Many would have said so! And yet during those years he was doing terrible, terrible things.
It’s because of this “good side” and his family name that he was protected from the full consequences of his actions, and it seems that many want to repeat that cycle of history and that way of responding to exposed sin now.
— Tamara
Dear Christian,
You didn’t need to write the fact that you were sexually abused. It was evident when you made excuses for men that covered up sexual crimes. Sexual abuse does have long term consequences, you have provided a perfect yet very sad example. You are publicly addressing grown woman whom at one point were little girls being sexually abused, warning them, “before the “victims” get high and mighty”. I am sorry for you. The realization that your good Godly friends held their hands in praise to the Lord while holding such secrets in their hearts is a hard burden to bare. And it couldn’t get much more personal with your terrible sexual abuse experience. God really is moving in some strong ways.
Aside from all the assumptions, have any of the moderators heard from GRACE as far as the board being difficult, or stalling, or changing their minds regarding an investigation? What has GRACE shared as far as what the process typically involves?
Heard from GRACE? Why would you think we are waiting to hear from GRACE? I think the more important question here is what have we heard from ABWE. I would think most people would be asking that.
I think most people are asking that, right? That’s all I’ve seen before this one. I also wonder, if ABWE hasn’t given any explanation, (and I think they should) maybe GRACE can give information about what is going on? Is ABWE being difficult, stalling, changing their minds (or never meant it in the first place)? Or, is this normal? — I’ve wondered from that start of this 30 days, what do you need 30 days for? What do you (ABWE) mean, ask questions, clarify? What type of questions? Why isn’t it all open, at least to the moderators here?
I didn’t think any of the moderators were waiting to hear from GRACE, just wondered if there was communication with them and their take on things that’s all. It’s pretty obvious all are waiting to hear ABWE’s response. It seemed there was communication between the moderators and GRACE previously and just thought maybe there still was, or that they would have insight as to how the “process” typically goes.
What do you think Dr Donn Ketcham ate for dinner last night? Does he sleep well? Is he worried in these troubled economic times? Does he get up in the morning to a hot cup of coffee and read the paper? Does he know Jesus? The real one, the Jesus that can set him free.
What are you saying? What I think I hear causes me to wonder if you are out for revenge or out for justice.
I am wondering why this man, Dr Donn Ketcham, has been allowed to simply live out his life in a “normal” manner (eating supper with his wife, having coffee in the morning). He grew up and was surrounded by so many people that have a TRUE understanding of who Jesus is – yet all of these “Godly” men (and woman) spent more time and energy covering up the horror of who Dr Donn Ketcham is and what he represents – instead of taking that same time and energy introducing him to the real Jesus. Can you believe that a man born and raised with the knowledge of Christ but never having an understanding of Christ? And again tonight he simply will have super, go to bed and wake to most likely a hot cup of coffee! Another day goes by without any consequence of his actions and his soul is no close to heaven but hovers over hell.
One reason these girls were abused in the first place is because it was at the hands of someone the entire community loved and respected. He took advantage of the position he had. He banked on the fact that his reputation and position of authority would hide his sin.
It worked for a long time- until one, VERY BRAVE, young girl said, “No, this has to stop!”
Now, ABWE is doing the same thing… and you’re buying it!
But, now there is a group of VERY BRAVE WOMEN saying, “NO, this has to stop!”
And, IT WILL STOP!
I live in Michigan, the area where Donn Ketcham resettled and opened a family medical practice after leaving ABWE. I have been following this blog because of my concern for justice, and the potential for more victims in Michigan that have yet to be heard from.
Do not let ANYONE silence your cries. Why have your cries been met with silence for so many years? I don’t understand it…it is wrong. Someone once wrote that “everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten.” Handling this ugly, ugly scandal in the proper way is not rocket science. Those on this blog concerned about protecting the reputations of spiritual giants need not worry…God can protect them, if protection is needed. But it seems clear that exposure, repentance, and restoration is needed.
Thank you, again, to the brave women and their families, that are taking on the giants. My prayers are with all of you.
Laura – Thank you for your support. We will not be silenced. We press on! Keep praying for all involved.
*note: this email is directed to all, not Susannah in particular
For the record – lest anyone is misunderstanding what I am saying – I also am not buying it.
My desire is that justice is served, no matter who did the deed, including those I love and respect. I can love and respect a person and still believe they did wrong and deserve to be held accountable for that wrong. Just because I respect a person does not mean I respect everything about them and certainly not everything they do.
Someone can do great evil and I can still love them. For example, I know of a Christian couple whose son (in his 20’s) kidnapped, raped and murdered a little girl. What if this was my son? Would I still love him? Yes, certainly! Because I love him I will grieve a deep grief. Yet I still want him to pay the consequences. Of course, as the parent I would hope that justice is tempered with mercy.
At ABWE, I also want more than justice. I want change in the dynamics, the way the mission agency is run, or whatever it is that facilitated not only this situation but any and all of the other man-modeled sin patterns that are happening. I want a change in the way they do business. I want the mission to be God-directed and grace-oriented, something I think it is currently lacking.
I have no desire for the mission agency be destroyed. I don’t think resignation of all the leaders is necessary. -If you disagree, fine, but please allow me my opinion. – At the same time, I don’t think the mission agency has to exist. God will do His work whether ABWE stands or not.
Just because we(any person) think differently on the specifics does not mean we are on the side of defending and attempting to cover up sin. I can’t speak about others, but I know that is true about myself! This needs to be brought fully into the light. It is the way of cleansing.
Woot, woot – Susannah! Well said!
I am puzzled and sickened by some of the responses of those trying to defend those responsible for this coverup. Do you have any sense of how serious what they did is? Do you really? You make it sound like they mishandled a little money but had good intentions. Perhaps they didn’t quite communicate clearly enough, maybe they just couldn’t find the words to say. They just overlooked some of the unimportant things…
What part of covering for a child molester do you not get???? Do you understand what they have admitted to? Re-read the letters and posted confessions.
Someone here talked about how it was a different time then and maybe they just weren’t sure how to deal with it. I was in my early twenties when this happened. I had no doubts then about what should be done and I wasn’t one of these “hero’s of the faith”. Ask any man worth his salt, with any sense of honor and decency what he would do to protect a child and what should happen to those who harm a child or to those who would cover for that person or persons. I would give my life to protect a child from harm and would pursue every avenue in my power to see those responsible dealt with. God might have mercy on them but I don’t know that I could. This is that big a deal, that heinous, awful, detestable, whatever adjective you care to use. NOBODY, no matter their position, past or future track record is above that.
These victims were made in the image and likeness of God. They are precious in His sight. Yes, these great champions and role models of the faith made a deliberate decision to COVER and PROTECT Ketcham. They considered him and his reputation more important than that of the victims both present and possibly future. That is how big a deal this is!
Jesus himself made it very clear how he felt about those who would harm a child. I doubt that those covering for such a person are any better off. Do you call that unreasonable? I’ve seen a lot of pain, anger, love and a ton of restraint used on this site. Those sitting up on the hill should be very thankful that nobody has called for a lynch mob. They’ve sat there for a very long time, ignoring and disregarding a situation that undermines everything they claim to stand for. They should be enduring the anger, pain, cries for justice and frustration that are being directed at them. They have brought that upon themselves by their own inaction. I see the victims here being willing and wanting to forgive those who have wronged them. I see the supporters here crying out for action and adding reinforcement to the cries of the victims. A horrible situation like this often takes dramatic and desperate pleas before it’s addressed. So perhaps, you who are so quick to defend those that have already admitted to the wrong doing, can allow for the fact that there are 22 plus years of injustice to be expressed. Again, this was of ABWE’s making, not the victims.
Very well said!
I agree. Very well said!
Response to Bryan – and everyone in general
In defense of myself, in case your critique is directed at me.
1. See my other writings
2. My opinion about “good intentions” is that people might say they have good intentions and even think they have good intentions. However, behavior reflects reality. People can say they “meant well.” It doesn’t mean they truly did mean well. They can even deceive themselves that they truly meant well. It doesn’t mean they did mean well. Our hearts are desperately wicked, who can know them?
3. My opinion about covering for a child molester/abuser (and other crimes) is that person is complicit and themselves guilty of a criminal act. I don’t think anyone has said it – It seems to me that the response of DK’s wife smacks strongly of complicity.
3. Considering anyone a spiritual giant and treating someone as “more spiritual” is its own sin. It is idolatry. This sin is part of the reason that allowed a predator like DK. It is part of the reason for inordinate trust of other perceived “spiritual giants” It is part of the reason for the cover-up. After all, to reveal these sins would destroy the fantasy.
4. Again, if I am among those you are addressing, I defend myself against your charges. I want ABWE to act. They SHOULD have acted before 1989. They should certainly have acted much differently in 1989!! They (Loftis and whoever else) should have taken action in 2002 when Loftis became aware and others were reminded of the offense. — I think their response to this blog, while relatively fast, could have been faster. I do not see WHY the board wanted 30 days. I see NO excuse why they have not yet made the move. They promised. It has not yet happened. Therefore, they have not kept their promise. Therefore, they have lied. Perhaps I have excessive expectations about promises, but that’s the way I see it.
5. I am not defending the direct criminals or the complicit criminals. I am defending against what I see as black and white judgments and associated attacks. These judgments are happening against ABWE personnel and against those (such as me) who do not express ourselves identically. It seems some of you consider rabble-rouser a positive trait. I see it as negative. I see it as emotionally manipulative. I prefer reason and respectful treatment of the other. But maybe it is neutral. Maybe it is just a different way of doing things.
6. I resent the charge that I am for a false peace just because I don’t do things the same, because I’m not willing to take the path of a rabble-rouser. We can both be against the same thing and for the same thing yet do our part in working for that in different ways.
7. Maybe I’m naïve, overly trusting, or easily deceived, but I did not hear either Wally or Christian suggesting continued cover-up.
I hope you aren’t driving supporters away with your rabble-rousing rhetoric.
and Bryan, I don’t see rabble-rousing rhetoric in your post, just unfair accusations.
I did not name any one person as my opinions and belief on the matter apply to several. If you feel you are part of those I was addressing, that’s up to you. I stand by what I posted based on the facts that have been provided. Again, specific leadership at ABWE has brought this situation on by their own doing, or lack thereof. It is their responsibility to answer for what has happened and to quickly, wisely, address the issues. So far, they have failed to do so and until they do, they can expect that support for these women will continue to grow, stronger and louder. It isn’t pleasant, for anyone, and the longer this is drug on, the more feelings will be hurt and the more divisions created. ABWE can end this, now. It’s up to them. Hopefully Debbie, all of our efforts, though imperfect they may seem to each other at times, will contribute to the needed result.
So with you, Bryan. Well said and you are right on.
In re: Rebecca’s comments.
I am also on the outside looking in. I too have worked with victims and abusers (in a psychiatric care outpatient program). The most common excuse made for abusers is that they ‘were such nice persons’ or ‘dressed so well’ or ‘really liked children’ or the best of all ‘they come from such a nice family’. Yes! Exactly! That is why they are able to get so close to their victims. “Do not judge by appearance but judge righteous judgment”
Peter Waud
[Would you like a pseudonym for me? How about “a pastor friend”?
By the way I do know only one board member and he is a very nice person. It is my hopes that this will not get in his way of doing what needs to be done.
Very good point. The question is not, and was never, about whether or not DK and/or the mission leaders are nice people. That is totally irrelevant here.
The cause of all this discussion is that one person cruelly and illegally abused children and others covered up his sin, for more than 22 years.. The question of the day is: what is anyone going to do about it? The correct response has to include dealing with the past correctly and preventing such behavior and subsequent lack of action in the future. This includes the individuals involved and the mission as a whole.
I hope your very nice board member isn’t also hiding a significant sin. Just because he is “nice”…. He could be deceiving you. Although, I suppose having worked with pathological people you are more perceptive to the signs? I shuddered at your phrase “really liked children.” That itself would alert me!
So true, what you say. Surely pedophiles and serial killers look evil, right? Ha! Manipulative, conning, charming, you can’t spot their lying by body language because they don’t feel any guilt about lying. Although perhaps not all serial killers are sociopaths? Someone here at one point said that not all pedophiles are sociopaths. I do wonder about DK though. His response to the confrontation (e.g. joking) seems very odd.
One other comment… This whole tragedy is the stuff one reads about, sadly, in books, newspapers, or even on the movie or television screen. I know it has been mentioned before on this blog, but I keep wondering if this were taken on as a project by an author or screenwriter, what might happen? I say this very respectfully and in no way intend to minimize the pain of every victimized girl, woman, parent, sister, brother, or friend. (The victims are everywhere…kind of like a massive disaster site , were everyone to gather in one place.) But just as Scripture records the total depravity and pain of human failure so we can learn and, hopefully, never repeat those sins, could a retelling of this story be part of the healing, and the impact for ultimate good? Further down the road, after ABWE allows GRACE to do their job, would that happen?
I’m not totally sure what you’re asking, Laura, but on the topic of learning from history, I want to point out that when those of us on this site accuse ABWE of playing favorites with Donn Ketcham, we aren’t kidding. Here is a link to his father’s wikipedia page.
This favoritism and how it factored into his treatment is not an exaggeration. Not only was Ketcham favored because he was a physician–and anyone who has ever spent time in missions will tell you it is far easier for physicians to raise support than anyone else because they are perceived differently–especially a surgeon. (They are “needed.”) But also, frankly, he was a Ketcham. And that meant something to a LOT of people back then, especially people who supported ABWE or were tied to ABWE.
— Tam
I wonder if there was also the thought that “we need doctors here, we’re so busy” that it was we “NEED” DK, so we’ll overlook his sin. If that is the case, whatever happened to trusting God do do His work no matter who or how many the people!
A documentary film was done about the Mamou abuse. You might be interested in that. You can find information about the film here – http://www.allgodschildrenthefilm.com/
It is a really hard-to-watch, but very important film. I recommended it to the board members of ABWE, and I know at least one took me up on the suggestion to watch it.
— Tam
Thank you for this link. It looks like beginning May 19, the entire film will be available to watch online, at no cost.
Cool! I haven’t been able to see it. I know one of the “kids” that was there. He said (although he is “recovered”) he knows he can’t watch it. Too many memories, too much pain.
Just wanted to let you all know, especially to those to whom it really matters, there’s more of us standing on your side than standing on TPTB’s. We’re not going anywhere. We’re still praying. And we love you.
Forgive me for saying “that woman”. I do try very hard to attack the problem not the person and I should have just made my comment without any referral and I am sorry for that. The reason I said “that woman” is I don’t name people I do not know, might sound silly to you but I think it makes it too personal. However, I do stand by what I said.
People that we loved and respected and thought the world of have betrayed us… My sisters and many others that I grew up with on the mission field were sexually & spiritually abused by someone we called an “Uncle” who was a well known physician and preacher. And, then, when this sexual abuse of minors was discovered, other “Uncles” and well known, respected “men of God” handled it totally wrong and ultimately covered up this man’s crimes. Has our trust been betrayed? YES! Are we hurt and angry? Yes! Are we asking for the lynching of those involved? NO! We just want the truth! We want them to confess, ask for forgiveness, do what must be done according to the law (i.e. file the needed reports, turn themselves in, etc.) and then allow the necessary changes in the organization to be made so that something like this can never, EVER happen again (i.e. allow G.R.A.C.E. to investigate and help implement changes)!!
P.S. If it upsets some of you that specific names are mentioned, then so be it. Therein lays the “disconnect”, hurt, & betrayal for all of us who have been victimized by these “wonderful, Godly” men. (Christian – Can you understand that we felt the same way about these men at one point that you do? We knew & admired them too. Now imagine your child being sexually abused by a fellow missionary and these men that you know and admire covering up for that person? How would you feel about them then?) Those that have been named – Donn Ketcham, Russ Ebersole, Russ Loyd, Wendall, Kempton, & Michael Loftis – have ALL been a part of this nightmare – they either were involved in it or knew about it and did nothing.
Well said. Thank you for voicing your thoughts. — Tamara
Thank you, thank you. You are so right and I am so appreciative of your willingness to not sit back and take the “bashing” of your victimized friends and sisters “without response”. Thank you for speaking up.
Dear Christian,
I am thankful for your support on the blog and for the encouragement you give to the victims and their families, especially for for posting early on in the process that you were lied to when you asked about Donn Ketcham’s return from the field. I am confident that your story is not unlike other people’s stories. Donn Ketcham was protected for reasons we don’t understand nor can we find justification for.
I am glad that you are proud to be an ABWE missionary. I believe if you read previous posts on this blog, that you will find many MKs who say they are SO glad they are MKs, thankful for their life in Bangladesh, and proud to call many “Aunt” and “Uncle”.
I do not agree with you that the “bashing” of ABWE missionaries and administrators has gone without response. There has been many a reaction to harsh comments and opinions. I, for one, have recalled some of my posts for that matter alone. I have offended and then have sought to make it right. So I disagree with your assessment that the “bashing” has gone “without response”. You are correct that others are calling out leaders in the ABWE world and they should first be sure they have their story right. But if they do it anyway and you don’t like it – then please keep in mind that you are under no obligation to read the blog. I don’t read the copy of the “ABWE Message” that comes in the mail because I can hardly stomach it. Years ago, the current president of ABWE hurt not only me but also my sisters and my parents deeply. He knows it and hasn’t taken any steps to right it. I cannot read that publication without becoming very upset by the hypocrisy of ABWE leadership. So, I simply choose to not read it. You have that same freedom.
I met Wendell Kempton. He was a good Christian man. He clearly loved the Lord Jesus with his life. I appreciate the things he accomplished for God. But like David (and Solomon, and Abraham, and Peter, and…), he was a hero of the faith who made a poor choice, in this case to protect Donn Ketcham’s “testimony”, which has resulted in the hurt of many. He is not here to defend himself or his actions but I would venture to say that if he were given the opportunity to come here and say something to us, it would be with tremendous, broken grief that he would say, “I’m sorry.” There would no longer be any excuses, any justification, or reasoning. Simply a sorrowful, “I’m sorry.” And no doubt he would urge the administration to do whatever it takes to make this right.
Regarding Michael Lofis and Russ Ebersole, I do not have the same pleasant experiences or memories that you have. I only know them as men who stole something from me and my family. God’s grace and a strong family foundation has helped us all recover from the trauma inflicted by these two men, their wives, and others in the ABWE administration, but it does not negate the fact that they robbed us of something they can never, ever give back. And they know it. Perhaps that is why they express all kinds of love and concern for us to the world but have yet to reach out to us in a personal way? (Not that we would take their calls or answer their emails without GRACE’s involvement, but it would be nice to know they are trying.)
I do not know Wally Stephenson. But just as you have formed an opinion of me and others based on what you know about the things we have said on this blog, others have formed an opinion of Wally based on his printed word. As it appears to me, there is a good chance he meant to post anonymously and was caught. Embarrassing, but it happens. And I hope, as others have suggested, that when the investigation brings more light to the truth written on this blog, that you and Wally will both have the humility to publicly state that you are sorry for being so wrong for your accusatory tone against the victims and their families.
The moderators and readers of this blog have every right to have differing opinions than you. But it goes further than that. They have the right to have different experiences than you. Your experiences are not the same as everyone else’s. Just because you have only good experiences with these men doesn’t mean that our experiences are the same. You cannot tell someone to “stop” when you don’t know the whole story. What if my sister had been told to “STOP” when she outed DK in 1989? What if those men had acted on their presumptions that this was “a case of the fantasy or exaggeration of an immature teenager”? (Russ Lloyd diaries, page 1, paragraph 3). What if they had simply said, “I know Donn Ketcham is good and godly, so STOP”? And, by the way – shame, SHAME on them for even suggesting such a thing when they knew that DK had numerous previous sexual sin issues. It really is unbelievable and all of us would do well to remember the shock and hurt we felt on that terrible, gut-wrenching day the Russ Lloyd Diaries were posted (April 2, 2011).
Christian, despite your perception, there is no cry for your head nor is there a cry for the heads of any of these men. But there is a cry for justice. There is a cry for ABWE to clean house and restructure. There is a cry for integrity. And ABWE is holding out.
– Diana Durrill
Very well put. No cry for heads or lynchings, just integrity. And ABWE is most definitely holding out on us right now. We wait with hope, but we wait in the dark. It would be nice if the board were more forthcoming with updates on the “formalization.”
–Tam
Well said Diana – I continue to stand with you and all of the MK’s and their families in their search for justice. Far too long churches, ministries and boards have put “God’s work and the perception of what was necessary to that work” as a priority to truth, exposing true sin, (not legalistic man made ideas and interpretations) and honesty. I am continuing to pray and will continue to wait as all of you for a word from the “mountain.”
Dear Christian,
If it were my daughter who was molested repeatedly by a trusted Christian friend, mentor, doctor and “hero”, who is still lauded as such; and she were then treated as if it were her fault…I would be crying loud and long, “Off with his head!” and off with everyone else’s head who defends this man in word and action!
Read the documentation. To defend these men you speak of is to defend the guilty with the possible exception of Tony Beckett.
To you I say, Stop. You talk as if God needs these men.
Jesus is the One who receives the glory for anything eternally accomplished through the lives of these men. Christianity 101. He can cause the rocks to cry out for His glory if need be. The fact that a man is “used by God” is not the litmus test for exalting the man.
The men God truly exalts are humble men. Men, who realize Who God is and consequently who they are. Men, who have no desire whatsoever to be known as great men of God. Men who selflessly protect women and children and would give their exalted seats on Miracle Mountain for this cause if need be.
ABWE as an organization is fundamentally flawed and must be shaken from the top down for the sake of it’s many godly missionaries who have been blind sided by this news. How will they and their supporting churches ever trust the current leadership again?
Humility. Truth. Transparency. Even the world understands that these are words that must be actions for an organization to be trusted.
I wonder how many missionaries are truly paying attention to this. Sure, they all got an email or two. How many only gave it a cursory glance? How many considered it not part of their life and have not thought of it since?
ABWE MK asks (says): “How many missionaries are …
I am following closely all that is written. So you have one at least.
RHSterkenburg
Thank you Mike for saying STOP. It was needed. Once again the excuses coming from whomever about the “Godly men and all the good they did,” continues to lower the volume on what a horrific thing was done and lack of action yet to be taken 22 years later. Thank you. Praying for a good Sunday for all.
My name is Susannah Weldy.
I am here to show my love and support for the women who were abused by Donn Ketcham.
I am here to hold ABWE leadership accountable for their response to the crimes committed.
I will not go away.
Why are you here?
Very good question . . . .
As I examine my heart, I too want to express love and support to the women (and their families) who were abused by DK. I am so saddened by the fact that in your darkest hours you felt alone and abandoned. I want to tell you that you are not alone anymore. Your story will not be hushed up any longer. We are here and plan to stay here.
I am also here, as an “electronic” witness, watching and waiting for the mission board to be held accountable: for the past, for the present and for the future, for the sake of the Gospel witness around the world.
I read Psalm 101 today and believe that the convictions expressed in it are the ones we need to have, as believers. If we hope to be used by God in this world we need to be willing to deal with the issues in a Biblical manner.
I’m not going away either.
Here are some questions for thought:
If people find they can’t trust the mission boards to do what is right, how will they trust the missionaries? If they can’t trust the missionaries to do what is right, how will they trust the churches who send them? If they can’t trust the churches, will they listen to the Gospel message at all?
What answers are we going to give to a world that is waiting and watching?
Do you mind if I share this with ABWEers I know?
If people find they can’t trust the mission boards to do what is right, how will they trust the missionaries? If they can’t trust the missionaries to do what is right, how will they trust the churches who send them? If they can’t trust the churches, will they listen to the Gospel message at all?
To “requesting permission”
Yes, you may share the post with anyone who might listen.
My name is Sandy Eding.
I am here to show my love and support for the women who were abused by Donn Ketcham.
I am also here to show my love and support for Phil & Becky Walsh.
I am here to hold ABWE leadership accountable for their response to the crimes committed.
I live in Michigan, in the Grand Rapids area.
I will not go away.
Why are you here?
My name is Scott and I am here because I am disgusted with repeatedly reading the same kind of story in the news… “Teen allegedly raped, forced to apologize for pregnancy before her church.”
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43043457/ns/today-today_news/t/teen-allegedly-raped-forced-apologize-pregnancy-her-church/43044136
Only this blog involves people I know personally and it infuriates me.
Dear Mr. Christian Pilot,
I am an outsider looking in. While there may be two sides to every story, the vital documents posted here (diary pages, “confession” letters, even the ABWE most recent letters to their supporting churches and their missionaries) speak for themselves. My heart is raw for what happened to the innocent victims of DK and of the ABWE.
You say “attempting to paint the people and the issues in hues of black and white”. My understanding is that gray only comes into things when we create it. God’s word is very black and white. Where exactly is there a hue of black and white in a child being victimized? Or molested? To me, a 12 year old girl, even a 14 year old girl does not have the ability to agree to sexual intercourse, thus this qualifies as rape. When you look at the diary pages and read them, can you show me or tell me where there is an outcry against that sin? Where is anything being “painted” in to how this sexual abuse was responded to, treated and then ignored? I see black all through it. When the ABWE initially responded to it and handled it, they seemingly tried to add hues to black and white in their attempt to protect DK. Gray exists when man tries to excuse or justify. God’s rights and wrongs are very black and white.
As for Russ Ebersole and his actions, maybe in order to gain understanding about how anyone could imply his actions are akin to DK’s actions, you should think of it as if you were the father of the victim. Your daughter was betrayed and violated by someone you thought of as family (DK) and then another “family member” (Russ) betrays you all over again in how they treat her and you. Can you even comprehend how much betrayal that is? Of course it is like being victimized all over again. And where in the Bible does it say that one type of transgression (pedophilia and molestation) is greater or lesser than a different type of transgression (not calling a criminal a criminal, not seeking legal action, not even making sure that the sending church was aware of his “sin”)? I’m unsure, but it seems like you are trying to bring hues of black and white to this issue.
I think you may be entirely correct about Mr. Loftis. I also picture a man who clearly shows fervency with his “desire to see the Gospel proclaimed”. I see a man who would desire the Gospel proclaimed at any cost, at all costs, and has shown that through his own actions (or lack thereof). He showed over and over that the cost to be paid was to be paid by the victims and the families of the victims. Has he done good things in his lifetime and in his leadership? I am sure he has. When did good things excuse bad things? Why does that give him a pass on how wrong and poorly he handled this? He did not follow through on this in 2002, by his own admission. When he learned that there were more victims, more girls who had been molested and possibly drugged by DK, he should have been horrified. His heart should have followed Christ’s example and gathered the children to himself and done all he could to help them heal. What did he do? Nothing. When this blog showed his actions, when it made the details known, he then followed up with misleading information to the churches and to the missionaries. I base that statement on his written word in those letters. Where do you see gray and who created it?
What response do you see on this blog that is attempting to colorize or add hue to black and white? The disgust that has been expressed? The sympathy shown to the victim? The sympathy shown to the VICTIMS? The shock that the ABWE did nothing to heal these hurts? I have read through this blog so many times, and I have never gotten a sense of a lynch mob mentality. Granted there are those who think Mr. Loftis should step down, I am not sure that is so out-of-line. The documents prove many times he has lied or fallen short of keeping his word. Your respect and your friendship for the very men you defend may make you unable to see black and white, and allow you to see hues or to make excuses. Their fine upstanding lives and the spiritual works of their ministry have NOTHING to do with how they handled this situation. Their reactions and responses to this situation are what is being “judged” or discussed by this blog. I think most of the readers here do see black and white. I think based on all that has been written, the only time gray comes into it is when anyone, outsider or insider, tries to excuse or justify the actions or the motives of the ABWE.
My name is Diana Durrill.
I am here because men who claimed to be “of God” were not willing to confront a repeated sin issue in Dr. Donn Ketcham’s life that had surfaced (per there own words) as early as the 1970’s.
I am here because the other missionaries who knew of a problem didn’t speak out about Donn Ketcham’s previous sexual indiscretions (flirting, affairs, etc.) and they didn’t demand that he be dismissed from the mission field.
I am here because since none of the above people confronted Dr. Donn Ketcham’s sin appropriately, I had to have my life forever changed by his choices and the choices of his friends who went easy on him.
I am here because my sister is the 14 year old girl listed in the posted documents.
I am here because Russ Ebersole and Russ Lloyd chose to hold her responsible for something she was innocent of.
I am here because the two Russ-es mentioned above lied to me and my family about what really happened.
I am here because my sister and my family did not get the help we needed when we needed it most.
I am here because ABWE continued to spend the next 22 years making an even bigger mess of this issue in their attempt to keep it covered up.
I am here because I realize that I, too, am a victim of both Dr. Donn Ketcham and the ABWE system.
I am here because I believe that Dr. Donn Ketcham has most likely been permitted to inappropriately touch other little girls and young women the same way he did me and my friends.
I am here because God hates pedophilia and wants it dealt with.
I am here because two beautiful and smart ladies decided “Enough is Enough” and they sought help from people who truly do care. I will continue to support these two ladies, my other friends, and my own self as we seek justice and truth – about everything.
I am here to support and encourage my friends, Phil & Becky Walsh, as their ministry in Bangladesh was unjustly cut short like our family’s was.
I am here because it is time we deal with sin appropriately and we tell the world that we love and serve a God who is bigger than man’s problems.
I am here simply because it is right.
Diana,
I am just writing to let you know how sorry I am for this mess and to let you know that I love you and your family, and I’m praying for you! I can’t even wrap my mind around the lame excuses given by ABWE. I am so glad that the two ladies finally spoke up! I have nothing but admiration for them. I wish I could say all that is on my heart; please know that I am praying for you all and for wisdom for the folk at GRACE to resolve this in a way that will honor God.
Thank you, Mrs. Moore. Dan had shared with me that you had been following this closely. Thank you so much for your prayers. We are encouraged about what God is doing even though it is a very painful process. I appreciate your words here. Thank you!
My name is Rebecca Green,
I am here because I knew that 14-year-old girl. I know Diana and I know Anne and I know their parents. I know that they desire nothing more than to live a peaceful life in a way that brings honor and glory to God.
I am here because I believe that what happened to these people that I love is unacceptable and horrible and I am willing to whatever I can to help them right this wrong. And I will not go away.
I am here because my friends are hurting. I am here because I am continually touched by the courage of the women who started this blog, who were willing to take this thing on, knowing it would be unbelievably painful, knowing they would catch heat for it. I am here because so many whom I have never met have challenged me in my own faith by their grace and courage.
I am here because I love them.
My name is Tamara Rice and I am here because the 14-year-old victim was my childhood friend and I cannot be silent now, like I was then.
I am also here because I have finally faced the fact that I am also a victim, though to a lesser degree, of Donn Ketcham and of ABWE’s negligence. And there are too many victims. I put the ones I know of on paper recently and it was too many. Even ONE is TOO many.
I support Susannah Beals Baker and her bravery in coming forward to the public.
I am here, even though it is hard and it is ugly and it is wearisome and it would be far easier to turn away, because THIS BLOG is the only thing that made ABWE do anything right in this regard after decades of people trying things through ordinary measures of human to human contact, and I hope that it will continue to hold them accountable in the days to come. To make good on their promise to hire GRACE and to restore the integrity of their organization some how.
I am also here because I believe Phil and Becky Walsh’s testimony regarding what they saw on the mission field in Bangladesh: that the habits of covering sexual sin in Bangladesh and brushing things under the carpet so that “the gospel can go forward” continue to this day.
And that is NOT okay, and the gospel I believe in does not need man to cover and hide his own sin to be received by world — in fact THAT is the opposite of the true Good News.
We have the opportunity to be used by God here, and I will not waste it.
Just a guess, but with so many ABWE missionaries with limited email access around the world, I would wonder if they are trying to inform the ABWE family before making it public. I would think this would be the correct way to handle things. Opinions differ, but I know I don’t like to find out things about changes in my church or whatever from people who aren’t members there. I’m sure the public announcement about Dr. Loftis will be coming in the near future along with other changes as the board feels they have all the information to make correct decisions. I’m sure this will all be a long process and I am thankful that it seems the board is acting without waiting for the full investigation by GRACE but is also being wise in prayer and seeking truth on their own.
I am Aunt Jan (Tower).
I am here
…because it has been a while since I’ve spoken and it is time again. (To my knowledge, I have read every post on this website.)
…because we were briefly a part of the ABWE family -in 1988-1989 and 1997-1998.
…because, like others, I feel horrible that we did not see what was happening and do something to stop it.
…because we love “14 year old girl” and her family.
…because we love other BD MK’s and their families – those we served with or have met and those we haven’t.
…because we walked through some horrible times with people we love and felt helpless to change things for them.
…because watching how this whole thing was handled from the beginning has disgusted us.
…because it is inconceivable to us that it took something like this blog to finally shake loose some action from a mission board that promoted itself as protecting and loving families.
…because I continue to support these brave young women and what they are doing to try and bring justice and healing – even though by doing so they have opened themselves up to judgement and criticism.
…because I am so proud of how the moderators of this blog have handled themselves in their Godly responses to all manner of postings.
…because I hope that my presense here gives these women just a hint of how loved and respected they are.
…because, along with many others, I continue to wait for news that the ABWE home office has finally stepped up to the plate!
…because I hope and pray that the end result of all this will be healed relationships between families and friends, between victims of all types and their Lord, and that, possibly, a “better way” of doing missions will come from this.
… because, last (but really first!), that, somehow, out of the mess we’ve made in our sinful human-ness, that God will receive glory and honor and praise.
Thank you, Aunt Jan. Your words means so, so much to me.
My name is Bill Barrick, former missionary in Bangladesh with ABWE, father of two whom Donn Ketcham victimized, and a fervent supporter of all of the courageous ladies and men who have come forward on this blog to recount their experiences. My wife and I will not cease to support the victims and call for justice. We favor GRACE as the investigating organization. We urge the ABWE board to appoint GRACE as the investigators without strings attached.
Failure of ABWE administration to act on Donn Ketcham’s immorality a long time ago is bad enough. However, to neglect following through when the matter arose again in 2002 is unconscionable. To not handle the matter properly now falls into something even beyond unconscionable–words cannot fully describe the kind of treachery and crime it would represent. The clock is ticking and a time will come when delay can indicate nothing more than criminal avoidance.
This blog must continue. It revealed the awful truth to ABWE insiders who had been kept in the dark by ABWE’s top leadership, legal counsel, and “spiritual” counselor. This blog could become the means by which the media finally picks up on the matter and forces legal action to provide the victims with the protection and resolution the ABWE board still has not given.
Churches and pastors must make their voices heard, too. Some have already–in wonderful ways. They must apply more pressure.
Missionaries with ABWE must also lift up their voices. A full-scale upheaval from within the organization as a whole should overwhelm the board and administration with demands to move forward decisively, swiftly, rightly, and humbly.
For those who might feel that the blog creates too great a sorrow for good and godly people within ABWE, read Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 7:8-11. The good and godly within ABWE will support the blog and fight for the victims from inside the organization. Yes, those supporters inside ABWE will experience a good deal of grief, but that grief can lead to the repentance of the wrong doers. And, let’s not forget, repentance in word alone never suffices for God–the ABWE board must make changes and actions swiftly to match the words that have come from them all too slowly. Delaying too long undermines the words.
Jesus Himself said, “Reach a settlement QUICKLY with your adversary while you’re on the way with him, or your adversary will hand you over to the judge, the judge to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison.” Pay attention to the Lord’s advice, ABWE board.
My name is Amy Drake.
I am here because I love the family of the dear 14 year old girl, who was hurt so deeply by those she trusted at every turn. I am here because God’s name will not be glorified by covering up a man’s sin in the name of preserving a ministry. I am here because God has called us to do hard things, and there was nothing more difficult than for these women to share their private shame with the world. I am here, because I would never want the same thing to happen to my daughter, and by taking this stand, these ladies have made it clear that this will NEVER be okay. I am here to plead that those involved in these heinous acts be an example of a heart that in humility can honestly and completely admit their wrong; confess specifically and thoroughly to those they offended; beg for God’s forgiveness and the forgiveness of those they have offended, and send everyone on a path of glorious restoration in Christ. I have been here since the beginning and will be here waiting expectantly until there is resolution.
I am here reading every entry to this blog because I am a mission committee member of a church that supports ABWE missionaries with our prayers and finances.
I am here because these missionaries have families and missions that need them and I want them to have all the support they need.
I am here because I have met some of the MK’s when I was in college and was impressed with their integrity and love for life. I can’t imagine that being taken away from them.
I am here because I have friends and acquaintances who were sexually molested as children and I have seen the upheaval, confusion, anger and inner-conflict.
I am here because I have seen grace with truth. I have seen examples of standing firm without attacking.
I am here because someone must hold leaders to their word. Leaders must be accountable.
I am here because I read G.R.A.C.E.’s report on New Tribes Missions and it made me angry.
I am here because of what has happened in the Catholic church.
To the Board of ABWE: I am not going to go away and neither is this blog.
My name is Uncle Steve (Tower),
I am here because:
-I love and support the brave women who have been victims of all that has surrounded the incredibly poor handling of this situation for decades.
-I desire to see truth triumph and the results of sin and poorly motivated solutions to be reversed.
-I want to see God’s name received the glory he is due through the trainwreck that has ensued throughout the past 22+ years.
-I want the women and families who have been devestated by all of this to know that we love and support them, and that we won’t grow weary nor will we go away.
-I want to see ABWE stand up for what is right by not simplying saying what is right, but by doing what is right without delay.
-I want to see evidence that ABWE is willing to do whatever it takes and is within their power to right the wrongs of the past and chart a new course based upon doing what is right, not what is expedient.
-I want to see G.R.A.C.E. be given the freedom and cooperation to shine light into any and all dark places so that any organizational darkness is defeated and transparency is the new normal to the glory of God.
-I am here because we were a part of the ABWE family in 1988-89 and 1997-98 and while we did not know any of this was happening then, we became painfully aware of it as our dear friends suffered repeatedly with the fallout as they tried to deal with the devestating results. We do not intend to be silent as we were encouraged to be back in 1989. That was wrong then and it’s wrong now.
-I want to see solid evidence that ABWE is not simply responding to pressure such as the pressure that this blog has brought, but is top to bottom sold out to doing what is honorable and right no matter the cost with no hint of self-protection or self-service.
-I want our Bangladesh national, missionary, and MK family to know that we love and support them with all that is in us.
-I want the moderators of this blog to know that we prayerfully support them and marvel at their spiritual maturity, honesty, and grace in the face of all that is posted here. You “understand” that many do not fully understand what has happened nor what is at stake here and you address it more gracefully than I could ever do. Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus to those who have experienced so much pain.
-Lastly, I want to see this blog and this pain and suffering result in missions and mission organizations who vow to never let this type of handling of sin happen again and follow up on that vow with real change for the glory of God, his word, and the flourshing of his people.
… Russ Ebersole is not fully retired. In fact, according to the ABWE website he is Vice President of Missionary Ministries, which is called “a ministry of care.” Read here: http://www.abwe.org/churches/abwe-speakers/
Russ Lloyd is also still closely tied to ABWE, as founder of the Institute for Biblical Leadership. IBL board member Joel Tetreau states in comment #12 of the thread link here that IBL is currently “one of the organizations involved in accountability for ABWE”: http://sharperiron.org/filings/3-30-11/18490
… and THAT is why I am here. These men are still leading, still advising, still giving counsel, without censure, without discipline and without apology for 1989.
I am here because I love my sister and I choose to stand beside her and all the other victims.
I am here because I am tired of the sin that has been swept under the rug for the last 22+ years and was never dealt with.
I am here because I am tired of watching the victims try to pick themselves up and go on with life as if nothing ever happened to them.
I am here because our family, our 14 year old sister, was not given the help we needed when it was needed.
I am here because there are some people that wish to see the truth that needs to be brought out into the open and I am one of them.
I am also here because there are some people who deny the fact that nothing ever happened because they do not know what took place or because they do not wish the truth to come out.
I am here because God does not like sin and what Donn Ketchum did was and is a sin.
I am here to bring this sin to an end!
I am here because our family has been lied to by the two Russ-es.
I am here because when we as a family tried to get information we were denied it!
I am here because I am disgusted with men who call themselves Christians to people who do not know God and do things behind closed doors that God is appalled at!
I am here to support my family, who has been hurt, and to take a stand in any way that I can for them. I am ready to tell all that I know and have seen and heard to those who need to hear. And believe me, there is a lot more then most of you know!
I am here because it is time for the truth to be revealed. I am here because taking a stand on the truth and the Bible and what it says about sin is the right thing to do.
I am here Because “For such a time as this”. May God continue to use us in any way He sees fit to bring glory to Him.
I am Pam Green
I am here because I love the 14 year old, her sisters and parents. I love that they were willing to go to a foreign field to take the Gospel and to make it possible for others to do so as well. I knew them when they first went to Bangladesh and saw their excitement, and desire to serve. The girls played with my girls, stayed often in each other’s homes and enjoyed each other as only girls and children can do. My mother taught them piano. We shared meals, laughs, fellowship and the love of a desire to serve the Lord in whatever capacity that might be.
I am here because I saw them when we reconnected in 2002 and saw the heaviness and grief in their eyes coming directly from their hearts. It wasn’t long before I was aware of the burden they had carried for many, many years with no resolution. How terribly wrong, and not of their doing. It appeared they were victims of a “Christian political system” that was unbending in it’s desire to cover-up sin at all cost. It appears they continue to do so even to this day.
I am here because of my connection and attendance with the sending church for this family. About a month ago I attended a “family meeting” where we were informed of the blog, the abuse, and it was called by it’s correct name. Pedophilia. For a brief moment that night we saw that truly “the truth will set you free.” There were tears of relief and a hopeful glimpse that possibly now true healing could move forward in a positive way. We were reminded that ABWE had agreed to move ahead with G.R.A.C.E. Now we wait, and wait, and wait, for a word from the mountain. I am not going away. I will wait with this family and all the victims, for however long it takes.
I am here because I knew Dr Donn Ketcham well. A copy of the letter that I sent to Dr Loftis on April 10th explaining the relationship while as a nursing student at Mercy Central School of Nursing, St Mary’s Hospital, Grand Rapids, MI. is above under Rebecca. She posted it for me on April 10th. As a new nursing student, my senior “big sister,” was dismissed because of a relationship with Dr Ketcham. Her life and dreams were changed but it appears his went on. This was in 1969 while he was a surgical resident. They had already completed 5 years on the field. I believe that ABWE was made aware of it at that time. This was 20 years prior to the 1989 abuse of the 14 year old. Unfortunately I did not confront him at the time to seek truth. I did not believe that it could possibly be true. He was a “Godly example to all of us.”
I am here and continue to remain on the blog because of the bravery and honesty of those so intimately involved. They have set a tremendous example of grace, patience, honesty and truth with love. No matter how old we are we can all learn from them. I count it a privilege to stand with them.
To all the MK’s I’m not leaving. I will continue to support and pray. I pray for G.R.A.C.E. and I pray that they will be hired soon.
Thank you for allowing me to support and pray for you during this long journey.
I am here to support those who have been abused both sexually and spiritually abused.
I am here to attempt to reason with the Board of ABWE as I have in many previous posts. We understand that there are many fine people within the organization. We understand that many fine things have happened through this organization.
We also understand what the Board does not seem to right now…namely that this organization is hemoraging credibility. The Board must take leadership and stop the bleeding! Those who are clearly responsible…President Loftis…Attorney Davis and Executive Ebersole must be asked to step aside for the good of ABWE. This would have taken place weeks ago in the world that the rest of us live in.
The Board must lead…these can no longer lead…they have already lost the trust of those inside and outside of the organization. If they Board does not act quickly and decisively they will share in the responsibility of the demise of this organization. It’s too late for the Board to get out ahead of this and lead from the front in this tragedy. But if they don’t BEGIN to lead it will just be…TOO LATE!!!
I am here because sexual abuse is a heinous crime. I’m here because that crime and the covering of the crime has hurt my family and childhood friends, countless others and I believe God was just waiting for all of us to answer the call for justice. There are many other reasons, but this is the bottom line:
“If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying ‘Peace, peace,’ where is no peace; if I forget the poignant word ‘Let love be without dissimulation’ and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth things, then I know nothing of Calvary love. –Amy Carmichael
*dissimulation: hypocrisy, concealing the truth
I am not a teacher, a preacher, a nurse, a doctor or an administrator.
I am not a Baptist.
I am not someone an organization like ABWE has any use for.
I am a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother.
I am an artist, an insurance agent, a neighbor and a friend.
I am a Christ follower.
I am here because I believe God uses unlikely people to do impossible things.
(Nothing is impossible for God.)
I am willing to be used by God to free men, women and children held captive by crimes committed against them by those in spiritual authority.
I am here to be a voice for TRUTH.
I am here and I will not go away.
Flags and standards have been and are powerful symbols. They were used in times of war in order to coordinate troops on the battlefield and for communication. They provided a visual identification of “us and them”. They can also provide powerful patriotic messages (Ground Zero – 9/11). The one thing flags were never meant to be is a hiding place. No one appreciates or wants to be associated with someone hiding behind a flag.
ABWE, the Christian Flag was never designed to be flown low but rather as high as possible for all to see. You can’t continue to hide behind the Christian flag. We don’t want it brought low. We want it elevated for all to see. We want the Christian flag elevated and those who carry it clean so that it is a rallying point for righteousness.
PLEASE finish what has been started.
My name is David Beddoe and I am here to support the victims, their families and all those who have been hurt by the actions of Donn Ketcham and the inaction of ABWE.
I am here to call for honesty and true amends by the individuals and ABWE as an organization.
I am here to continue to use whatever influence I have to see justice and truth come out to bring healing to the victims.
I am here to call ABWE to experience the freedom that will come from honest words followed by aggressive action to expose sin, confess failure and seek amends with abandon and with disregard for self preservation.
I am here to support my wife and her sister.
For those who mistakenly think that this blog provides fuel for the enemies of Christ
here is a quote from C.H.Spurgeon
“Ah! poor religion, thou hast been sorely shot at by cruel foes, but thou hast not been wounded one-half so dangerously by thy foes as by thy friends. Who made those wounds in the fair hand of Godliness? The professor who used the dagger of hypocrisy. The man who with pretences, enters the fold, being nought but a wolf in sheep’s clothing, worries the flock more than the lion outside. There is no weapon half so deadly as a Judas-kiss. Inconsistent professors injure the gospel more than the sneering critic or the infidel. ” C. H. Spurgeon
Amen and Amen!
They’ll know we are Christians by our love. What greater love than to lay down our lives. What witness are we (ABWE) right now to the sneering critic and the infidel? Does the outside world see anything different than typical denial of guilt, self-protection and callousness towards the suffering? Just think what a witness we (ABWE) could be to the sneering cynic and the infidel if we were to act differently than the world, to be like Christ in our behavior and attitudes!
“When God’s sheep are in danger, the shepherd must not gaze at the stars and meditate on ‘inspirational’ themes. He is morally obliged to grab his weapon and run to their defense. When the circumstances call for it, love can use the sword, though by her nature she would rather bind up the broken heart and minister to the wounded. It is time for the prophet and the seer to make themselves heard and felt again. For the last three decades timidity disguised as humility has crouched in her corner while the spiritual quality of evangelical Christianity has become progressively worse year by year. How long, O Lord, how long?”
I am Janice Goddard, former ABWE missionary to Bangladesh and therefore a member of the ABWE family, the Bangladesh family and the Malumghat family.
I am here because I am deeply grieved by the continuing damage done to people I love. I am here because I am deeply grieved by ABWE’s inadequate responses that are adding to the damage. I am here because I am deeply grieved that the name of Christ is being dishonored not only by the actions of one person, but also by the inaction of others.
I am here because I am proud of those who have been so deeply wronged but who have sought to pursue godly rather than worldly paths to resolution. I am here to support their calls for a thorough investigation followed by appropriate actions. I am here because I want those who have lost their faith in God to regain it. I am here because I do not want ABWE to be destroyed because of unwillingness to confess its own wrongs. I call on ABWE to finalize arrangements with G.R.A.C.E. without further delay.
I am watching and praying because “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs 28:13, NIV.
When WORDS and ACTIONS don’t align there is a CREDIBILITY GAP!
“Please believe it is our heart’s cry when we say that our greatest concern is to help these MK’s” (Loftis Letter to Pastors & Churches – Apr 9, 2011).
“In 2002, at an MK retreat, Jo Beth and I were approached by several young women who shared their suspicions of abuse by Donn Ketchum”.
(Loftis Letter to Missionaries – Apr 9, 2011)
“I also made a request for an investigation into the matter”.
(Loftis Letter to Missionaries – Apr 9, 2011)
“After learning of additional victims in 2002, an investigation was begun but never completed” (Board Confession Mar 30, 2011).
So, are we to believe that it was President Loftis’ “greatest concern to help these MK’s” in 2002 or just since this Blog hit the World Wide Web? Therein lies the issue,
a CREDIBILITY GAP. I think I learned in kindergarten that ACTIONS speak much more loudly than WORDS!
I couldn’t agree more, My2Cents. Organizational leadership expert Steven Covey would call it a “trust gap.” And it’s there. And it’s getting wider with every tick of the clock. Whoever here said that ABWE was hemorrhaging integrity right now was dead on. It is exactly what is happening.
When quoting the Bible doesn’t get our attention, must we quote a Mormon on the need for integrity? (Steve Covey is a Mormon) Wake up Church! Wake up!
1Cor. 15:34 “Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your (OUR) shame.”
I have made a reference to a very smart Mormon on a Christian blog. My bad.
But please try to keep your eye on the matter at hand: It is Day 35 since ABWE said they would hire GRACE and they STILL have not.
Can we all agree to keep our eye on what is happening here — the bigger picture — and stop picking each other’s posts apart? It gets us nowhere.
I read it differently. I thought he was saying what a shame on the church that a Mormon shows us the way to go while the church fails.
Wickersham, if your comments were not meant to be derogatory of Covey’s wisdom, then I apologize for taking what you wrote the wrong way.
It’s just you struck a nerve, as I believe that a stubborn refusal to listen to wisdom that comes from outside Scripture or from the mouths of those who are not “approved” Christians is what got ABWE into this mess in the first place.
You see to understand pedophilia you have to listen to psychologists, to criminologists, etc. You have to have your ear on the pulse of what’s happening out there in the real world, what sociologists are learning about human behavior. I’m not trying to belittle Scripture in ANY way. But I am trying to make the point that when we cut ourselves off from fields of knowledge that are explored outside of seminaries, we do ourselves (and the Kingdom of God) a huge disservice.
I look at the actions of Russ Lloyd in 1989, and I see the actions of a man who was in way over his head and didn’t have a clue what he was dealing with. Pedophiles were recognized and DID go to prison in 1989. Yes, things were different then, but not so different that this was not a crime. Not so different that a psychologist “of the world” would have DARED believe a girl this age was to blame. Yet counselor Russ Lloyd did.
So I bristle when Christians seek to be ignorant of what those outside their own bubble are learning and discovering about life and the world, because THIS is precisely what happens as a result.
My name is Susannah (Beals) Baker.
I am here because I am one of the victims.
I am here because Dr. Ketcham’s crimes have affected both me and my family.
I am here because I spend time and money every week to see a certified trauma therapist because I have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of both the abuse and the missions reaction(or non reaction) to that abuse. I am here because I had to explain to my teenage sons that I had been molested on the mission field and then see the confused look on their faces when they asked what had been done by the mission as a result. I am here because I have had the privilege of getting to know and love the”14 year old victim” and see her suffering up close and personal.
I am here because I want to tell the truth.
I am here because I believe God wants me here.
I am here because despite the pain, I still believe in a God of miracles, healing, and 2nd chances. Yes, even for ABWE.
I am here, and I will not go away.
Susannah(Beals) Baker
You are one of the bravest people I have ever seen.
Amen! (so be it)
I have asked to have my May 17 post removed and my May 19 post modified because my use of the term “bootlicker” said too many bad things about too many good people who are a part of ABWE. In my anger I did sin. I am sorry.
Dave DeCook
BD ABWE MK and pastor
Note: To those wondering, Dave was kind enough to rewrite his original post for us. (Above.) He is our fellow Bangladesh MK and we agree with his point. We hope this version will give clarity to those who may have misunderstood the intent of the original.
— Tamara
Thumbs up, Dave.
Good question?
Where are the current ABWE missionaries? Why are so quiet?
Could it be that the current leadership has asked them “not to talk about it“?
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Thank you, Dave.
My name is Robert Keith Rapa. I am not here because I am directly a part of the matter at hand or because I have any personal investment in the Ketcham family; nor do I know the 14 year-old girl or her family.
I am here because I do know a number of the BD MKs, both some who were molested and many more who were not but who are standing with those who were.
I am here because I have tremendous respect for Dr. Bill Barrick and his wife Barb, and I enter into the crushing hurt they and their family feel as a result of ABWE leadership’s failure and betrayal;
I am here because I have tremendous respect for Pastor Dave DeCook and his family, and for Phil Walsh and his family;
I am here because I am the pastor of an ABWE-missionary supporting church, which now must take a good, long look at whether or not we will continue to support ABWE by supporting its missionaries. ABWE’s response (or non-response) will be a huge factor in that ultimate decision.
I am here because though I was an ABWE missionary from 2003-2009, I eventually left the field of service and ministry that I loved and to which I was committed from 1988 to 2010 due to the excessively violent and vicious personnel management policies of some ABWE administrators, who cared more for “owning” a program than they did for the people fielding and served by that program.
I am here because I am aware of several other instances where the ABWE administrators treated other ABWE missionaries in similarly vicious ways, with consequences that were devastating for those so affected;
I am here because those same administrators followed the same, or very similar, personnel policies in covering up heinous pedophilia for over two decades and their continual refusal to do the right thing until they were “outed” by this blog.
I am here because I am ashamed at having been identified with ABWE, and hope that the mission leadership and its Board will take action to do what is right, what is just, and what they surely now know that they must, and thereby perhaps reclaim some of what it used to mean to be part of the so-called “ABWE family.”
I, too, will continue to pray for and stand with these precious women who were brutally victimized as small children (!), and I, too, will not go away.
Robert K. Rapa, Th.D.
Pastor
Indian River Baptist Church
Indian River, MI 49749
As a side note, Bob Rapa passed away last night.
I have removed the lynch mob / bootlicker posts.
It is clear that many of you are missing the point of Dave’s post.
Dave was painting a picture. He wasn’t calling for a literal lynching. He was calling for us to choose. We are either on the side of truth- even if it costs our own future or reputation, or we are facilitating the cover up.
WE CANNOT BE SPECTATORS.
The posts may or may not be reposted. In the mean time, examine your own heart and life.
Are you willing to step out by name and say I am here- I stand for truth?
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I will say it again, with parts cut out…
Amos 5:24 “But let justice roll down like waters And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
I stand for truth, justice and righteousness. I stand for Christ. I stand for the health of His body. I am here in support of healing for the weak and wounded members of the body. I am here in support of calling other members of the body into account.
If the point of Dave’s post is what you say, it would have been easier to notice if it wasn’t buried in a mountain of inflammatory rhetoric. If this blog degenerates into spewing vile or manipulative rhetoric I will STILL stand for justice and truth. However, it will not be in this forum.
… is often the best way to communicate. Metaphors are king.
But so is truth. Please, ABWE, stop stalling and let this investigation go forward. Every day that passes without word or explanation from you widens the gap of trust between us.
Is this what you want, ABWE? Squabbles over word pictures from people frustrated by your silence? Are you standing high on the hill waiting for us to turn on each other as some have today? Do you think dissension among the supporters of truth will be your out?
If so, you are sadly mistaken. Most of us aren’t going anywhere, because the one thing we agree on is that you owe us truth, and we are in this thing until you lift the curtain and show us what is really going on behind the great and powerful Oz.
And if speaking the truth in love doesn’t work?? …22-plus years and counting…
My name is Debi Martin and I was an ABWE Bangladesh MK from 1974 to 1986. I am here to stand with the victims and their families that justice and truth may prevail. I urge ABWE to do the right thing, to turn from their authoritarian ways and allow G.R.A.C.E. to do the investigation so strongly needed. I applaud those who have stood up for justice in spite of the pain they have endured. I thank God for the courage I see displayed here. I can’t remember the reference but the Scripture verse comes to mind – many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s way will prevail. (paraphrase)
We are here because my daughter and our family have been hurt and betrayed by supposedly people whom we all trusted and had confidence in. You cannot imagine the hurt you have like Spurgeon that was quoted in the comment in this blog about people on the inside that hurts you.
We are here because our family have grown closer through this trial . We are proud of each and everyone of our daughters and our son in laws and son in law to be.
We are here to say all we ever wanted to do was to quietly serve our Lord wherever He led and leads us. But it seems God had another purpose and it sure hasn’t been peaceful and quiet. We think of Ron Hamiltons song Rejoice In The Lord. God never moves without purpose or plan when trying His servant and molding a man, Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long (oh my how long has it been and still going on) in darkness He giveth a song. Oh rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake he knoweth the end of each path that we take. For when We are tried and purified We shall comforth as gold. We cling to these precious words.
We are here because we are proud of our daughter for sharing with our pastor what was happening and broke the molestation on the field.
We are here to support Susanah and the other victims who have been hurt and betrayed by people they loved and trusted.
We are here to support the moderators who spend hours of time and prayer to do what is right.
We are here not to cause trouble but because we love the Lord and He HATES sin.
We are here because of our friends who love us and have been through this with us.
We are here because of the comments some of you have made to help us all get through this trial. Thank you for your support and prayer. Some of you we do not even know and your are an encouragement to us.
We are here because we have watched our daughter hurting and not communicating with us because of the things that transpired with the confession etc. which we knew nothing about. It is slowly changing (maybe) because of this blog. Thankyou.
We are here because we need each one of you (all the victims need you also)for prayer and support
to get us through some more of this trial.
We are here to help GRACE and to support GRACE in doing what is right and thank you GRACE for willing to help our families and serving God in this way. It has to be hard to investigate Christian works and clean up the sin and errors. Thankyou.
We are here to help ABWE to do right. We have been a part of ABWE and we want to see them honor God and to mean the words that they want to help the MKS and not be for themselves and cover up sin and want to do things their way. We want to see humility and humbleness not a prideful spirit.
It has and is a hard road and we are tired but we want to honor our Lord and be faithful and to be there for our daughter and daughters for however long God wants us to go through this. We want to come forth as gold.
Dear parents of victim,
I, too, am proud of what your daughter did to expose the crimes that were committed against her. How many more Bangladesh MK victims might there have been, if she hadn’t spoken up?
Thank you for the reference to “Rejoice in the Lord” – it is such a powerful message and reminds me that God is sovereign in spite of the destructive nature of sin. Even the most wicked sins of man cannot cause Him to make a mistake, to falter in His love for us, to err in judgment, or to fail in working all things together for good. He knows our hearts and will ultimately hold everyone accountable one day.
Although I’ve missed having contact with you for many years, I’m still reminded of your patience and perseverance I saw exemplified on the field. She and your family have paid a high price for the crimes committed against her, and that just doesn’t make any sense. Your understatement of a long and hard road is well understood, and I want to see accountability on behalf of your daughter and the other victims. I’m praying for your daughter, your family, the other victims, and their families.
Love,
Rick
Hi my name is Jill Billington and I am an ABWE MK and an ABWE missionary.
I am here because my heart has been broken by all these stories. Knowing that innocent beautiful little girls were hurt and are still hurting to this day by someone who pretending to be a godly, servant of Jesus Christ. I am angry that other men who many people (me included) looked up to and believed, handled the situation in a terrible way. I’m angry that families were told not to talk of it. I’m filled with indignation that the man who committed these crimes was allowed to walk away with his head held high, to continue on with his life, to lead many others to believe lies about who he really was, all the while the beautiful little girls carried the pain and the shame and had no outlet, no counseling, no support.
I am here because about 5 years ago, a bunch of us from the NTM boarding school that I attended reconnected via a forum, and I heard countless stories of abuse that took place right under all of our noses. More innocent little boys and girls who were hurt, lied to, shamed…at the hands of “godly” men and women who were there to protect and love and nurture and didn’t do it. And I cried when I heard their stories. And I was glad that they were finally able to talk about it and that G.R.A.C.E was getting involved and that justice would be pursued even all these years later. And so when I heard of this blog and read all the details, I saw the faces of my dear MK “brothers and sisters”, and I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with all these dear ones fighting for justice and restoration.
I am here because there have been enough lies, enough cover-up, enough silence. And I want TRUTH and JUSTICE!
My name is Laura Hoekstra-Bettig. I am here because I learned of this blog from my local news media in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I am here because I could not believe what I heard and needed to read it for myself. I am here because I still cannot believe what I read…that A.B.W.E. has, after 35 days, still not hired G.R.A.C.E. I am here because I will continue to pray for the victims (known and still unknown), their families, friends, and for all who read this blog. I am here because I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter and I pray her innocence and childlike faith will never be taken from her by someone she trusts. It makes me nauseous just to think about what happened, repeatedly, to so many young girls. May God protect their hearts and restore their faith in His goodness, and His protection. I will not lose sight of the purpose of this blog and I add my voice to the many crying out for Justice…and SOON!
I find it interesting the people that got so upset over Dave’s post. Did you experience the same outrage when you learned about Donn and ABWE’s actions. Did you call them out??? I am sure you contacted Donn and ABWE and expressed your feelings about their actions….RIGHT? If anything should have struck a nerve with you,it should have been the actions against the children. If not then maybe you need to do a bit of soul searching? The focus needs to stay on the purpose of the blog.
As a matter of fact, I was, have been and am outraged. Yes, I have contacted ABWE, several times. I have not contacted Donn Ketcham. I have no platform to speak into his life. I have followed this blog, but commented little.
My concern today was that Dave’s post was over the top, and would do more harm than good to the goal of calling ABWE to account for the actions of the past 22 years.
It is sad that anyone who expresses concern about posts is immediately suspect and accused of not caring or not supporting
Dr. Loftis–
Hi. May I call you Mike? Hi, Mike. We’ve never met, but I feel like I know you after all these months. I’ve seen your name tossed around here and elsewhere. I may have even heard of you back in my Baptist days. I don’t know.
I know some friends of yours. You may remember them: they were children a long time ago, serving in the jungles of Bangladesh, giving up their comfort here in the states and packing everything up in barrels to go serve God. They loved God and He called them to follow Him, so follow Him they did. They were prepared for certain dangers: malaria, parasites, maybe monkey bites (I don’t know, I’ve never been). But there was a danger for which they hadn’t prepared: child molestation, pedophilia, rape. What’s that word you used back in your letter earlier this year? Oh yes, “moral failure.” Whatever you want to call it, it is what it is: deadly sin. Having come into contact with such great evil, they brought to the attention of your organization post haste, figuring any reasonable-headed adult, let alone a Christian one, would surely want to do something about it.
Oh, now, Mike, I know, it wasn’t “your” organization back then. That’s ok, though. It’s yours now. And I have since learned that some more of my friends (these are new ones) brought the same problem to your attention a few short years ago, thinking again that any reasonable-headed adult, let alone a Christian one, would surely want to do something about it.
And you do right? You’re a reasonable-headed adult. You’re a Christian. I mean just the other day I was looking on your website (you need to update that April 12 entry, it’s getting a little stale) and I saw that really cool article you wrote about the call of God.
It’s really neat, Mike, that you got to talk to the President, though I know the circumstances were pretty rough. That was horrible (and you had a lot of international good will after that happened). You’ve talked to men and women of great import around the world. That’s really cool.
Someone else is calling now, Dr. Loftis. I know he was just the maintenance guy back then, but he’s a father. You’re a father, right? His daughters are calling too, and some of their friends. (There’s quite a lot of us now) They’re not looking to harm you, though what’s going to happen is probably going to be painful (much good usually starts out that way). They don’t want too much from you, just your time and your attention. Maybe some action would be good, an honest-to-goodness apology, an investigation into what all you did wrong. It’s OK, we all make mistakes. We all sin and fall short, it says that right there in Romans.
You really are among friends, even though we get a little riled up from time to time. It’s just so hard to watch those you care for hurt so carelessly over and over again, for no reason other than someone’s foolish pride. How about you step back from that ledge now, pick up that phone and call GRACE. Tell them to come on in and look at whatever they need to, talk to whomever they want. Give them the keys. They’re OK (It’s Billy Graham’s son-in-law for heaven’s sake).
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, Mike. I promise. This will get better if you do it this way. If you don’t, well, I wouldn’t want to wait anymore.
A really smart Christian who used to live near you, in South Canaan said the following (he’s an Orthodox Christian so I like him a lot, but he spent some time in Nazi prison camps so he knows from suffering): One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.
These women know you’re not their enemy. You were just a cruel friend. Stop being that way. Pick up the phone. God is calling.
Matthew 25: 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.
Does anyone know if anyone at ABWE (board or Loftis) is listening here? I guess I’m wondering if I should start writing letters directly to them again.
Assume nothing when it comes to ABWE. That’s what we’ve learned.
— Tamara
I sent a copy of that to the general email address at ABWE and Tony Beckett directly. I figured he could forward 😉
It is a safe guess that this blog is being read by someone in a position of authority in ABWE. They would be fools not to know what is being said, and they are not fools.
If they are not saying anything, it is because they feel that is the best course of action for them, not for the victims or the victims’ families. Victims need to be aware that ABWE’s idea of a satisfactory resolution is much different that the victims’ ideas. To put it bluntly, they are not on your side; they are your adversaries.
Green Lantern, I hope that you are right, that they are not fools. However, their actions and inaction seem to indicate time and time again that they have made foolish choices in this particular matter on all but ONE occasion thus far — maybe TWO, if you count listening to MKs for a few hours in 2002 along with the March 30, 2011, confession.
I do NOT believe that everyone on Miracle Mountain is a fool or that everyone on the ABWE board is a fool (let me be clear). And that’s what gives me hope.
They have been foolish, but they are not all fools. I wait daily for them to prove it.
I am here because I taught this 14 year old girl piano together with her two sisters. The fact that ABWE has not engaged GRACE is not surprising to me. This is a battle of protection going on between the administration and the board members. The old adage of “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” no doubt is being said. And it is a matter of who can hold out the longest. Meanwhile innocent people are hurt and grieving. It is high time to call “time.” The only language people of this type (and they pride themselves in being Christian and fundamentalists at that) is to go public. Let this sin and scandal hit the Associated Press out in Pennsylvania and see what happens..
That’s a question I’ve wondered. When is it time to say “time” and take it into the civil arena? Does ABWE not realize that is next if they continue to stall?
I’d like to hear from some pastors and leaders out there who are supporters of ABWE and have sent missionaries through them. What as a collective group are you men and women doing to address this? Why isn’t there a group of people representing a great number of churches camping out on ABWE’s door step, demanding answers and action? Or, perhaps there is and nobody has mentioned it? No, I’m not suggesting a lynch mob. I’m suggesting a very real, physical presence representing the very people across the nation that support ABWE financially. Yeah, I know, most churches can’t agree on whether drums or guitars in church is acceptable or not. But this issue should transcend all church politics and differences. GRACE is an important party and needs to be an intricate part but the people who hold the purse strings can also apply pressure where needed and should.
So, what efforts are being made collectively? Going to the press is fine and it may be soon time to engage them but where is the church as a united front on this?
I brought some of these same things up to ABWE and I received an email from
Tony Beckett stating that they are very close to completing the agreement with GRACE. He said that hopefully an annoucement of the signing should be coming within a few days.
I wonder if ABWE knows the additional pain and stress they are causing the victims by taking so long to sign “the agreement” ?
I hurt tonight.
Susannah (Beals) Baker
If they fully understood, you wouldn’t still be waiting.
Re: The raised level of criticism.
I was getting concerned about the raised level of criticism and then I went and spoke to the children at a Christian school this morning for their chapel. The k-2nd graders sang a song. As I looked at the little girls I began to think about what I would do to someone that harmed one of them (I am a father of daughters myself). KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
re: writing letters to ABWE.
Snail mail is powerful. Write letters. Send copies to all board members. But address a specific person. Also collect these letter at a central place. There is something to writing letters over the electronic media. A person might fake an electronic piece of mail but snail mail with a signature and a return requested is powerful.
The question has been raised… where are the current ABWE missionaries?
Why are they so quiet?
Have they been asked not to discuss this issue?
-SGW
I am an ABWE mk and a current ABWE missionary. I am also the mother of 4 young ABWE mks. I have not posted previously for many reasons, mostly because I felt I had nothing to contribute. I have read the blog from the very beginning. I have felt deep sorrow for my “sister mks”. I have felt great disappointment in wrong decisions that were made. I have been offended by some of the comments, particularly the one by Pastor De Cook. Yet I have chosen not to respond because I in no way wanted to disrespect the true purpose of this blog.
However, since you have asked this question directly of the current missionaries, I will respond. No, on our field we have NOT been asked to keep this quiet. In fact, the only thing we have been asked is to be in constant prayer – for the victims, the missionaries, and those making decisions at the mission. And believe me when I say we HAVE been in prayer. And I have shared with the mission my conviction that this needs to be addressed quickly by GRACE.
In response to the other question below, yes – of course I have asked myself how I would respond. In fact, I have one child who has already been touched inappropriately, and it was not by a fellow missionary, but by a close friend in the United States. This is a horrible problem everywhere. And the way I responded was seeking immediate help for both my child and the other person, who also happened to be a minor.
I do not agree with the spirit of many of the comments on this blog, but the truth is that my opinion matters very little. What matters is that ABWE hire GRACE and that GRACE is able to do a thorough investigation so there can be both justice and resolution. I will continue to pray for healing for all involved and I will continue to serve my God the best I can, so that He may be glorified.
No, we have not been asked to be quiet. See my comment above (May 17).
We thank you for standing with us for TRUTH.
I do realize a few current missionaries have posted here with us, but where is everyone else?
As I sent my son to school this morning I thought… what would happen if we called role?
What if we started listing all the current missionaries by name and listened for them to say “here”.
How many would respond?
-SGW
On our field, as ABWE missionaries, we were “advised”, “counseled” not to make any entries on the blog. We have made entries anonymously. We do want you to know that our hearts are broken and that we have cried many tears about your situation. Also, we have lost confidence in the leadership of ABWE. We feel as though we would not get “a fair hearing” if a situation arose between us and one who belongs to the “good old boys’ club”. We are continuing to serve the Lord as we watch closely for the outcome. At the present we are working and preparing our church here on the field as if we only have a short time left. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. If ABWE does not act soon and we leave the field, we do not want to leave new Christians without sufficient learning to carry on the Lord’s work. May the Lord bless you for your courage and your perseverance. May the Lord heal your hearts and hold you close.
Thank you for joining us.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this the exact same thing that was done all those years ago? “Shhhh, don’t gossip. Don’t get involved. We’re ‘handling it.'”
How is this possibly an indication of any kind of understanding on the part of ABWE? Are they that dumb? Seriously, I ask.
Whomever you are “Concerned…”, I will pray for you specifically that God protect your work in the face of such opposition from within.
Disgusting.
Sadly, many former missionaries have been “dismissed” in past years for expressing valid concerns over much less serious matters. I guess if you are going to give the mission boards reason to dismiss you, you might as well do it over an issue that really matters for eternity, as THIS one truly does! It is truly a sad day in missions history when people are not allowed to speak the truth!
I just want to say, to “Concerned…” that I understand how you feel, about the threat of losing your “life” and livelihood by speaking out. I especially understand, and have felt in past years, your concern over what will happen to new believers on your fields. We were forced to leave one of our spiritually “newborn’s” behind.
I’m here to tell you that, as hard and as painful as this is, God does and will take care of you, in ways you may have never dreamed! He will take care of the new Christians on the field. He loves them even more than you/we do. He gave His Son to die for them. How will He not find a way to help them in their spiritual growth.
Do not fear doing right! Fear for what could happen through not doing right. God sees all and will ultimately make ALL things right.
I can understand the reluctance of employees to post out of fear for their jobs, but I’ll ask again? Where are all the pastors of the sending churches? What are you doing to be involved? Where are your voices lending support to these women? Some have posted but only a very small, small percentage. Why is it that the victims have had to lead this charge? Is the old boys network that big?
Yes, Bryan. It is that big.
However, I do know that a lot of churches and Christians with ties to ABWE (not employees, but people with ties) have worked very hard privately, because they still believe it is the most effective route. And I would say that as long as they are church pastors, they are correct. If we learned anything from this it is that money talks. When the churches began emailing ABWE as a result of this blog and a massive email campaign, ABWE began to move.
Bigger than that even. Wanna join? Oh wait, you can’t. You’re probably too young and have nothing to offer. And you probably don’t know anyone who’s anyone anyway.
LOL! I appreciate the sarcasm and the truth behind it. It also saddens me. They just don’t get it and by the time they do, it will be and for many already is…too late.
I am here to echo what My2Cents and others have posted and to reinforce a few points that some have already made very well. As a BD MK (1960-1973), brother to abused sisters, brother of a missionary who had to leave much too quickly, I struggle with what I KNOW to be true and what I would LIKE to believe. I know or have met most of the men whose name has come up in this blog. I, too, had great respect and trust in them and other “Uncles” and “Aunts” growing up as an MK in the jungle. Until recently I had no reason to be disillusioned with ABWE, but then like most I did not have the facts or any reason to question them. I believed as many did that an organization like ABWE could or would never fall into the Enemy’s trap, but they did. There is no getting away from the facts. Good men who were entrusted to do the Lord’s work failed. How is that possible? Maybe some of the answer is found in Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Dr. David Jeremiah has been speaking this past week on spiritual warfare. Some of Satan’s methods are to deceive, divide and destroy. The one tragic point that he made was that “Satan does his best work in religious circles”.
So, what are we to conclude? Here is what I take from this. God’s word, His ways and His work has not failed. The messengers can and do fail. ABWE is an organization that is made up of messengers and is not to be put on some spiritual pedestal. We are called to be discerning. “If anyone teaches otherwise and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 they are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.” (I Timothy 6:3-5) I am not judging motives nor do I think anyone in question (with the obvious exception) set out to intentionally destroy young women’s lives through their decisions, but it happened. Then it ultimately took the courage of two abused women to go public and try to force ABWE to do what should have happened long ago. This blog and those speaking out are not the problem anymore than those abused are to blame for DK’s actions. Yet, some would question those who are frustrated for asking, pleading, demanding, answers and results. Again, we should not forget WHY this blog exists in the first place. Would ABWE leadership have realized how wrong they were and done the right thing on their own? No! Nine years plus say no! Did they immediately realize that an independent investigation would be the best and most transparent means of handling things? No again! It took continued pressure from the bloggers to get this “concession”. King David and Bathsheba were mentioned on another post. What if the prophet Nathan had been told to come back after a time, after 30 days, or had to bring others to prompt the right response from King David after being confronted with his sins? David was called a “man after the God’s own heart” not because he had not sinned, but because as a man of faith he was sensitive and quick to repent of his sins. The tendency is to view sin from man’s perspective and not from God’s point of view. In fact, we tend to make excuses and minimize the seriousness of it. (“Let’s not make this something it is not” or “We should not call into question their sincerity and love for the Lord” or something else) While only God knows the heart, we can discern the actions. ABWE’s actions have proven time and again that they did not see this for what it was. Even now, the “wheels of justice” move slowly, encumbered by what appears to be bureaucracy and a reluctance to respond as David did. If ABWE’s response truly required time for some unknown reason, it would seem that they would do everything possible to communicate to those waiting and watching, praying and hoping. Instead, there is an automated response as to what might be happening? If this were some secular organization it would be understandable, perhaps, but this is supposed to be a Christian agency concerned with serving the Lord and reaching the lost.
The calls for resignations have been criticized as either being unnecessary or premature. Leadership that has failed either through actions or inactions often requires a change. It does not always mean that a leader has done wrong, but by virtue of failure occurring on their watch is enough to warrant a change. In this case (from the facts) we know that Dr. Loftis failed many young women and I believe failed my brother and his wife as well. He could have followed through on promises made or directed an investigation as needed. If those requests made nine years ago had not been effectively ignored, the bloggers would not be posting now. Regardless of what GRACE’s findings turn out to be it seems clear that Dr. Loftis’ leadership role has been damaged. This is not about whether or not he is a good man or a godly man. That is not the point. It is a question of true leadership, being held accountable, and doing what is best for ABWE.
On a more personal note I want to commend my brother, Phil, for being strong and committed to his principles and what he knows to be true. I know of no one who is more sincere and dedicated to those he (and Becky) were called to serve. For anyone to suggest that he is either a troublemaker or somehow totally mistaken in his assessment is just wrong. From the many conversations we have had over the past months, I can also say with certainty that his only desire is for those who need to be held accountable in BD are and that ABWE does what is right scripturally.
I am here to be counted and stand by those daring to speak up and for those who are unable and wish to. I will not go away.
Your paragraph … “the calls for resignations” reflects my thinking and writing to the home office.
RHSterkenburg
Doug – thank you. I am overwhelmed with appreciation for your support of Phil and Becky. I stand beside you.
Uncle Sam says:
To the Parents of Victim:
I just read your post of last evening. I literally wept as I read it and am weeping as I write this. What a humble and gracious spirit you exhibit and have always exhibited. You guys are the greatest. I love you. I tried to contact you by phone a couple evenings ago, but wasn’t able to reach you. You have been on my heart and mind a lot these past days and weeks. I am praying for you and your family as well as all the other victims. You have all been through so much. My heart grieves and aches for all of you. I pray for a complete resolution to all of these issues soon. I pray that ultimately God will be honored and glorified through it all. It’s hard to understand why you have had to endure so much pain and suffering for so many years, but may we take comfort in knowing that God is in control and He cares and understands.
Yes, I will say that my parents are THE most gracious and kind people ever. They have always known that God meant it for good. They have not always understood it and never have they wanted it, but they have a beautiful faith in the Almighty that He will use it for good in their lives. I have the utmost respect for my mom and dad. THEY are true spiritual heroes in my life.
To the current missionaries with young children,
Have any of you stopped to ask yourself…what would I do?
What if today your child says…
“Mommy, I felt weird when Uncle ____ touched me like this (the child reaches for you).”
What would you do?
Who would you call?
Can you trust those in leadership on the field to do what is right?
What about the men at the ABWE home office?
In ABWE’s darkest hour the President, Dr. Loftis, says…DON’T CALL ME!!!
I’m not making it up. Check it out for yourself. It’s the very last thing that he writes in both of his letters on Apr 9, 2011 (look under the timeline of events).
In President Loftis’ letter to the Pastors & Churches he says…If you have any questions direct them to VP Beckett. I don’t want to talk with VP Beckett! He
wasn’t the one that several young MK women shared their stories with in 2002.
In addition, I understand that VP Beckett was on the Board in 2002…why would
I want to talk with him?
In President Loftis’ letter to the Missionaries he says…If you have any questions
contact your Field Administrator. Again…DON’T CALL ME!!! You mean if you’re
a missionary with ABWE and you have questions about all of this you can’t talk
with the President? If I were a missionary in South America I wouldn’t want to
talk with the Field Administrator (Dave Southwell). I understand that he’s on the
Board of the organization (www.iblministry.org) that Russ Lloyd directs…isn’t that a conflict of interest?
No, I would want to talk with the President. But no one can because President Loftis says…DON’T CALL ME! Is this the appropriate response of a true leader? Is this the kind of leader that ABWE needs right now?
You are correct, My2Cents. Dave Southwell is on the board of IBL. A definite conflict of interest, even if Dave is completely innocent in this matter both in knowledge and in deed, and we have every reason to believe that he IS entirely innocent.
As I studied ABWE board members and who they are, looked at IBL’s board, looked at the GARBC board … I began to notice that there is indeed some “inbreeding” of accountability. I know it’s a natural thing when they all run in the same circles, attend the same seminaries, etc., and it is inevitable to some degree.
But I think it ought not to be. There are enough capable and godly leaders to go around.
I wonder … when ABWE finally gets their plan in order, signs off on GRACE, cleans house, etc., what will the Bangladesh missionary and MK loyalists who have steered clear of this blog do? Will they blame these MKs for the shaming of ABWE?
Will those of us who have raised our voices be subjected to the deafening and TOTAL silence of certain “aunties” and “uncles” and fellow MKs for the rest of our lives? Yes, believe it or not, there are a few from the Bangladesh “family” who have never once commented on the blog or even contacted the victims privately to express concern and support. They’ve been SILENT.
Silence from the “ABWE family” is unacceptable to me. Do not think, false “family,” that any of you will be welcomed into my life again when you did not choose to stand (even privately) with the victims of a man you KNOW was a pedophile.
There is truth in the form of documents on this blog, and you’ve had the chance to see it. If you can see those things, if you can read the confession our dear friend was made to sign, and the diary of Russ Lloyd, and STILL stand by ABWE’s decisions and actions, then I weep for the loss of my good memories of you, but I rejoice that you are not in my life.
You have had precisely 68 days to prove you love people more than institutions, and you have failed to do so. May God have mercy on you when the GRACE report is complete and you see clearly what you do not see now, which is that you are standing on the wrong side of this.
After reading today’s posts, and seeing how genuine, godly anger over wicked, perverse sin continues to be expressed here, I REALLY do not understand the silence and inaction of A.B.W.E. leadership. Are you more concerned about your battle strategy than you are concerned about the battle? There is a clear reason to fight here. Why are you allowing for more victims each and every day this drags on?
Now it appears there is in-fighting and more wounded, because some people on this blog don’t even know who the enemy is. They are busy shooting bullets at the wrong targets and attacking each other when really, A.B.W.E., YOU have staged this war whether you realize it or not. And do you even know the true enemy?
I recently learned (in a totally different experience) that showing Christ-like love often means that I lend my ego to another. I give up my right to an opinion, a reaction, a hurt, a personal conviction (don’t shoot…I don’t mean clear Biblical truth), so that a wounded brother or sister in Christ can be strengthened, often at my expense. That is what real leaders do. It is not about the leader, it is about their duty to lead those they oversee.
So dear victims, I am here to give you encouragement that will hopefully strengthen your weary hearts in this unbelievable battle. I am here to remind you that others are listening and praying, that have nothing to do with Bangladesh or A.B.W.E.
And to A.B.W.E., I continue to ask you “Why?” Why have you abandoned the troops? You should have been swift to cover them with protection. They are still without defense because of your failure in leadership.
Really, I simply hurt for each and every one of you that are wounded. The victims and casualties are too many. And I wonder why there has been any hesitation to seek justice for you by hiring G.R.A.C.E. to swiftly investigate. And it makes me very sad.
I have been thinking for sometime now that Satan wants to keep these girls/ladies defeated. He does not want them to get the victory over all that has happened to them and the emotional trauma that it has caused. For them to get victory means that he loses this battle and we are all in a battle with Satan. While thinking about this my pastor said something this past Sunday that made me think even more about why it is taking so long to get the contract done with GRACE. His comment was that these past two weeks have been two of the most busy and difficult in his ministry. He is not on the board, but I realized that if keeping up with this blog and the contract had been his responsibility he would not have gotten much done on it. They tyranny of the urgent would have gotten in the way. I am not trying to make excuses for the board, but am trying to understand what might be happening in their lives also. What we really need to be praying is that Satan will not be allowed to keep them so busy with their churches or whatever that then don’t have the time to get this done. Many of them are pastors and that is not a 9 – 5 job, it is a 24/7 job. To keep up with the things happening in their churches that require attention immediately is to keep the girls/ladies waiting and wondering. This is frustrating for them and one more way that Satan can attack them.
I also looked at the list of men now on the board. A number of years ago I knew or at least had heard of the men on the board. Now I only know one of them because he has been a guest speaker in our church here. I think that most of the men on the board knew nothing about all of this before this blog was started. This whole think has been kept so secret that even the current board members had probably not been told about it. Why should they have been since ABWE didn’t intend to do anything about it anyway? They have had to absorb what has happened and try to figure out what needs to be done and how to do it. I think many of them really want to do what is right, but since the thing is so new to them they need to understand all that has happened and what has or has not been done in the past.
One other thing. I do know that many ABWE missionaries are keeping up with this blog as much as that is possible when internet is not always reliable. If you don’t happen to be in a large city sometimes it is hard to get the internet to work. Also at the end of a long day sometimes there are so many new posts that it is hard to get it all read and understood. Don’t think for a minute that they are not reading it and praying for all of this.
I was in Bd in 1989 when the 14 year old girl blew the whistle on what was happening I have not been aware of many of the things that have been going on since then. Be assured that I have been and am still praying for all of you. Thank you for being brave enough to get this blog started and for all the work that you have to be doing to keep it going. I know that you read all of them before they get posted and that takes a lot of time. Let all keep praying that Satan be defeated in all of this and that God gets all the glory.
Aunt Alice
Just a thought regarding the board-
True, they may not have known that any of this was going on or had gone on. The point of asking GRACE to investigate is so it can all be laid out for them to see. They don’t have to do their own investigation first. They just need to realize it’s a bigger problem than they are capable of dealing with without outside help. Appoint GRACE, let them get all the details. Let them organize a neat report with names, dates, etc. Once that is available, it will be much clearer who knew what when and what they did with what they knew!
-SGW
Aunt Alice –
Thank you so much for your words. I posted something similar a while back about how busy I have been in this past month and how I had tried to imagine my schedule x 22 men/women on the board. I know I have dropped a lot of balls around here since the blog started and it has been difficult to get “caught up”. It is good to be reminded, though, about how busy life is.
I am glad to hear that many ABWE missionaries are keeping up with things. I only wish I knew who they were! It would be awesome if they would just “check in” here on the blog. Even if they don’t say anything else but something like this:
Diana Durrill, pastor’s wife in Louisville, CO – watching and praying
Dave DeCook, pastor in Michigan – watching and praying
Joe Smith, missionary in Peru – watching and praying
How INSPIRING and ENCOURAGING that would be to the MKs of this blog. And how MOTIVATING that would be to the ABWE Board members.
PLEASE – just check in!
Diana Durrill
Pastor’s Wife and Bangladesh MK
Valley Community
Lousiville, CO
Watching and Praying
I didn’t mean to imply that they needed to do their own investigation, but if you knew nothing at the beginning this whole thing can be a bit overwhelming and confusing. I talked with another missionary from Bd and she had many questions just to be sure she was understanding things correctly because she wasn’t there when any of the events with DK happened. I wouldn’t want the board doing the investigation, but they do need to know enough to be able to make intelligent decisions. I personally refuse to make decisions on things until I understand enough to consider what the right decision is. I realize we have all been calling for GRACE, but if I were in their shoes I wouldn’t want to make a decision that would affect the whole mission without having some understanding of what had happened in the past.
Aunt Alice
I understand that there would be A LOT of questions if you never knew of this as a new board member. I understand that a seat on the board means responsibility and balance. BUT … responsibility, balance, questions, concerns, fears, praying for wisdom, all of that and more should be tempered in each board members heart with the understanding that GRACE needs to be hired immediately. No strings, no clauses, no contingencies and certainly no more delays!
Here is a short version summary for the ABWE Board, things that I know just from reading the post:
Sometime in the past, something unimaginably evil happened in Bangladesh to a young daughter of a missionary and that evil was by a missionary doctor. Some people in leadership positions at the ABWE “took care” of the evil in a less than adequate and appropriate way. They may or may not have committed a crime in how they “took care” of it. Fast forward a few years: In 2002, the current president of the ABWE was made aware that the evil from the past was bigger and more widespread. “He learned the families that the evil had touched were struggling, hurting and crying out for help. He spoke some pretty words and then did nothing. (Here in the real world, we call that a lie … just saying!) Now, all these years later, these victims of that evil and that inaction are still struggling and hurting. They are doing it louder. And they have more people standing with them and for them. And they aren’t asking for help nearly as much as they are demanding that the right thing be done. (Good for them!) Conclusion: Hire GRACE now. Let them determine the extent of the evil and the “who knew what” and “who did what” and all the other details. Do not let one more minute go by. Do not continue to send a message that tells them they are unimportant. Do not allow these women or their families to feel unimportant or unheard. Do not continue to send the same message that the previous administration (and the current president) has already given them. WWJD
I just sat through a criminal proceeding that made me think a lot about what’s going on over here. Bear with me for a moment:
One of the problems I seem to have with this whole thing is this idea of “unnecessary suffering.” I am not saying that pain caused by the original trauma of DK’s actions and subsequent personal fallout is “necessary,” but it is expected in this kind of situation. The difficulty here is the years in between then and now.
It’s as if these women and their families suffered a broken bone or a burn, individually and collectively. The injury was directly a result of DK’s sin. But what happened is that instead of having the bone set or the wound cleaned out and bandaged, they were told to sit and wait. So for nearly 30 years in some cases, they limped along with their injuries. They struggled as the initial pain turned into a dull ache, or as the limb grew crooked from improper use, or as the burn became infected and inflamed. People may have looked away because of the severity of their injury. Relationships were damaged because of a lack of ability to properly interact. How much better for them had they received immediate care? How much better for them if they had received appropriate care? How do you make it right now?
The board is probably very busy. But you know what? You don’t wait to investigate the cause of the crash before you call the ambulance. You don’t contact everyone who may possibly have a vested interest in the end result before you get the patient to the hospital. You seek treatment, immediately. You do not dilly dally.
So you have the initial injury-DK’s sin. You have the second injury–the cover-up in 1989 and mishandling of the most egregious of situations. But now we have decades of inaction and at nearly 9 years since the women again limped in for help. I just cannot figure out how you can look away. Is this any different than the priest along the road to Samaria? I know it’s ugly and I know it’s painful and it probably insults some delicate sensibilities, but come on. Come on.
I am an ABWE MK and a current ABWE missionary and have posted previously (April 1 & April 5.) I have prayerfully followed the blog from the time I learned of its existence and I have written to the mission on behalf of this situation. I continue to grieve for each person tragically affected by the original sins and subsequent mishandlings of justice, and fully support the hiring of GRACE. I desire to see justice done and truth revealed.
For the record, I would like to state that we have NOT been asked to remain silent on this issue but only have been asked to continually pray. I would also like to point out that just because someone does not comment on this blog does not mean they don’t support those who are hurting or that they are “bootlickers” (to borrow the expression.) I have maintained some sort of blog for nearly ten years and my experience has been that there are people who genuinely care and are interested but they are simply not blog readers. Even my own mother-in-law has to ask me for the blog address time and again, not because she doesn’t love or care for her grandchildren but because she simply isn’t a “techie.” Believe it or not, many missionaries still fall into this category and others – as a previous poster noted – serve in countries where they do not have the luxury of internet access upon demand. I share this only to urge that in pursuit of justice, let us not deny it to others by reading into their silence something they never intended.
Stephanie, I hope it is alright with you for me to respond to your post. I appreciate the gentle tone in your posts. It reminds me of Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. ”
and 15:15
“Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”
And it tells me I have a lot to learn in that department. Thanks for your instructive example. Blogs like this can attract a disproportionate number of us “fire-eaters” and it is good to have a calming influence like yours.
You were right to question my assumption that there are “hundreds of ABWE missionaries” reading the blog. It is a pure guess and maybe a serious overstatement. Since I used the phrase several times, it is all the more important that this assumption not be accepted as fact.
You were also right to point out that we shouldn’t assume that if some people didn’t speak up on the blog they were doing nothing and thereby fit my definition of a boot-licker. I wasn’t making that assumption and I hope I wasn’t promoting that assumption. Some people are using other means and may be more effective than blog posters.
Here’s one reason why I think silence is so inappropriate in this case. Silence has formed the nails that have sealed the victims in the coffin of their suffering. Every year for the last 22 years, or 30 plus years for some, was a year that caused the nails of silence to seal that soul more securely inside her suffocating suffering. And now, with a superhuman effort to speak out and with the help of many friends–a miracle! The lid cracks open with the shriek of a dozen rusty nails. What’s this? Fresh air! I can live! Mouth pressed against that crack gulping fresh air. Then the crack begins to close again with the methodical thump of ABWE’s hammer. The blows are driving the nails of silence back into place. One. Two. Three. Four… 37 blows, so far. 37 days have passed since ABWE said they would hire GRACE, but they haven’t and we don’t know why. How do these ladies not succumb to black despair? I’m sure I don’t know. And I’m not sure anyone at the top has even thought about it.
Dave DeCook
In Reply to Dave DeCook,
Thank you for your post, Dave. You’re right, it is hard not to succumb to black despair as each additional day passes without an agreement between ABWE and GRACE but your support and prayers and everyone else’s reading this blog, helps prop me up for another day. Thank you to everybody who have taken the time to express their support and are praying for us. We need it. Please pray as well today that today will be the day ABWE announces their agreement with GRACE.
Susannah (Beals) Baker
Dave,
Yes, you have given a true word picture. It breaks my hear to think about how true it really is. Some of these victims have been “dead” for a long time, feeling nothing but emptiness and pain. I pray they see that others have come alongside and not only said, “I’m sorry for my previous inaction” but also, “I am here to help you see and experience new life from the freedom that Truth brings.” Anyway, I hope you don’t get blasted for this one, too, but hey! – thanks for taking the heat off of me for a while. 😉
Diana Durrill
I was an ABWE Bangladesh MK from 1972 to 1986 (although I’ll always consider myself a Bangladesh MK). The primary reason for my being here is to demand accountability for the crimes that have been committed against so many of my Bangladesh MK sisters. I follow the blog almost every day (often several times a day) and pray for the victims and their families. Although I’ve posted a couple times, it’s been difficult to say more because in the heat of the moment it’s easy for someone to misconstrue what’s being said and redirect attention to “who-said-what-on-the-blog”. That’s not why we’re here – the focus needs to remain on demanding accountability and then godly wisdom on what needs to be done.
The crystal-clear part is the guilt of DK and its long- and far-reaching consequences. He should be held accountable for the many crimes he’s committed, many of which have still gone unconfessed. Where I’m conflicted is the accusations against specific ABWE leaders. I want to be sure I have all the facts before joining others in asking specific individuals for apologies (both public and personal) and/or resignations. Some of the accusations appear to have no justifiable response, but there’s value in hearing what the reasons were – poorly inadequate as they may be. It’s unfortunate that there have already been so many speculative characterizations leveled at specific ABWE leaders (even the entire organization) before the investigation by G.R.A.C.E. is undertaken. I can understand that coming from the victims and their families who need answers, but for complete strangers to jump in and give summary judgment makes it difficult to engage in this process. Several of the blog posts have asked for public condemnation of several ABWE leaders’ actions or inactions. The dilemma that puts us in is that it effectively asks us to accept what’s been posted on this blog as complete, that specific ABWE leaders’ motives are correctly discerned, that the characterizations are unbiased, and that we don’t need to hear the responses from those ABWE leaders. Personally, I wonder if some of the other victims have been contacted by ABWE and asked ABWE not to go public with the crimes committed against them. It’s hard to imagine why there’s been a lack of accountability for so long, but both sides need to be heard since complicity is being investigated.
Fortunately, the victims and their families have exercised restraint in asking that G.R.A.C.E. be brought in for a third-party investigation. Knowing what we know now, I doubt there’s a single person that can say “I wouldn’t change a single thing I did or didn’t do”, but that is with the benefit of hindsight. While we can’t go back and undo what we did or didn’t do, we can speak up for the victims now by saying “Knowing what I know now, I express my support for the victims by …” I expect G.R.A.C.E. to understand that and exercise grace (not necessarily mercy) in their investigation. If there’s a question of mercy, it should be left up to the victims. I also want to respect any victims’ wishes for anonymity and closure, which is why I’m glad there’s an organization like G.R.A.C.E. that will exercise care in dealing with the victims’ wishes. ABWE has committed to undergoing an investigation by G.R.A.C.E. and that’s the next step that needs to happen. I have no idea how long a process like that takes to initiate or complete, but I’m in for the long haul.
In 1989, although I had left Bangladesh, I heard bits and pieces about the incredible bravery and character the 14-year old girl had exemplified and thought the discipline of DK was complete and that the 14-year old girl was able to somehow move past the terrible crimes committed against her. In 2002, I was surprised to hear that there had been other victims, and I was grateful that the president (a fellow MK) was actively looking into the accusations. In this blog, I’ve learned that several of my MK sisters I grew up with were molested as well. I’m surprised to hear that DK still hasn’t been held accountable for many of his crimes and that so many of his victims have sensed a cover-up by specific ABWE leaders. In the past, the victims have asked specific ABWE leaders repeatedly, in private, for accountability regarding DK’s crimes. Now they are asking for it publicly by means of this blog, and to hold specific ABWE leaders accountable for their actions or lack thereof. I am in full support of your demands for accountability.
I think we have to remember that not everyone posts on here what they are doing with direct contact with ABWE. So while you might not see churches, pastors and leaders commenting on the blog, do not assume they are not in contact with ABWE.
Thank you Rick for your kind comments. Our Bangladesh family is a close family. The BD MK’S are a special group and very special.
Thanks Sam for your comments also. We enjoyed having you be a part of our family. Those creatures you had were horrible. I never knew what I would find when I opened my freezer. But we made it didn’t we?
Thanks again, it helps!
I am here.
Waiting. Praying. Trusting.
I will not go away.
Friends, a prayer for you all today: (St. Patrick said it better than I could)
I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s host to secure me
against snares of devils
against temptations of vices
against inclinations of nature
against everyone who shall wish me ill,
far and near
alone and in a crowd…
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left
Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me…
Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of the Lord.
Salvation is of Christ
May thy Salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.
May Your will be done, O Lord, on earth as it is in heaven…
Praying today.
Wow…
Jesus, I wait in worship.
(Thanks Rebecca)
Amen! God’s will to be accomplished; that’s all we want.
I am here because…
• I support all the American women and their families who have been affected so deeply by what has happened in Bangladesh and beyond.
• I support all the Bangladeshi girls and women who were sexually abused by national “missionaries” who are supported and paid by ABWE.
• I rejoice with all the women and children who will be protected from something like this ever happening to them because this has been brought to light.
• I love my family members who still serve with ABWE and want them to be able to serve honorably without a cloud hanging above their heads.
• I want the world to see that true believers in Jesus Christ are interested in justice, mercy, and humility (Micah 6:8).
• I want national believers in Bangladesh to see that there are American believers who are interested in justice, mercy, and humility.
• I support national believers who have endured horrible spiritual abuse at the hands of so-called leaders in Bangladesh, both national and missionary.
• I support wonderful friends who have endured horrible spiritual abuse at the hands of church leaders in America as well. I hope that those who love to “lord it over” others will read this blog.
• I believe that much of what passes for “missions” today is unrecognizable in light of what is demonstrated in the Bible and when compared to the first “missionary” who left “a far country” and came to His Father’s vineyard.
• I support the transparency of churches and all Christian para-church organizations everywhere.
• I support the shining of light in dark places because the truth makes us free.
• I want the victims of these tragedies to know the freedom from depression and bondage that God has given me in increasing amounts each day and the joy of knowing Him as a gentle, loving Shepherd who leads me to green pastures and still waters all the while comforting me with His rod and staff.
• I love former and current missionaries in Bangladesh and want them to see that there is nothing wrong with seeing and admitting that bad things exist and that there is nothing wrong with confronting that sin. We do not have to protect national believers. We have to love them.
• I want to see Bangladeshi believers come to really know that they are part of God’s Great Commission and that they don’t need to depend on foreign assistance to take the good news to the ends of the earth.
• I am refusing to allow man to be big and God to be small. I will live in fear of man no longer.
Excellent Phil, thank you for your well thought out posts and the encouragement that they provide.
Dave,
I know you are referring mainly to ABWE missionaries who remain silent in your blog, but there are others who know about the blog and are also seemingly silent. These people are not necessarily silent. Oh, they are not posting here or writing to ABWE, but that doesn’t mean they are silent. I belong to a singles Sunday School class. Most of the ladies in the class live on less than $1000/mo. and in government assisted housing. They can’t afford a computer and wouldn’t know how to use one if they had one. They do however ask me for an update every Sunday and they are not remaining silent before the throne of God. That is the only place where their scream will be really heard and they are screaming there.
Ladies take heart they also will not go away, they just have no way of communicating with you and actually I don’t think they necessarily would even if they could. They don’t know you and for these elderly ladies they would feel like they were invading into your lives and not helping you. Actually, I realize that knowing that they are praying is an encouragement to you. That is what they can do and they are doing it.
You are not alone. I am sure there are a lot more people praying than posting to this blog.
I will continue to report to them and they will continue to pray.
Aunt Alice
I am still here.
I am here because I serve a God who sets captives free.
I am here because there are men and women who claim to serve the same God I do yet they act in ways that add chains instead of loosing them.
I will not be silent.
My name is Jon Stricklin. I am the pastor of a church that supports an ABWE missionary. We love our missionaries and will continue to support them. This is my first comment on this blog, though I have read it from the beginning. I have sent multiple emails to the ABWE leadership expressing my support for GRACE to be involved. I just want those who have suffered to know you do have the support and prayers of many pastors and churches. God bless you all. I also want the ABWE board to know that these same pastors and churches are quite frustrated with how you are dragging your feet. I’m praying God will help you to do the right thing promptly.
My wife and I are ABWE missionaries currently serving in Portugal. We have intently followed the blog since the beginning. We personally know the parents of one of the victims, and I made a survey trip with Bill Barrick to BD (Malumghat included) in 2002. We wrote on the blog anonymously early on, urging ABWE to be transparent, take right actions, and to hire a 3rd party investigator. Like so many others who have already posted, we are grieved that children and families were made to suffer because sin was not dealt with appropriately (even before 1989!). We long to see all the cards out on the table, and we want truth to prevail so that true healing can be realized by the victims and their families, as well as justice to be served with respect to DK, and so that we as current missionaries can make an informed decision regarding the integrity of ABWE and its leadership, and what that might mean for our future missionary service.
While we support the victims and their rightful cause, we also have not completely written ABWE off. We believe that God has graciously (once again) given the organization this moment to humbly and completely do what is godly and right. May past sins/errors/mishandlings not be recommitted! We are not behind the closed doors of ABWE and GRACE’s contract negotiations, so we are hesitant to speak to the reason(s) for the delay, though we are obviously troubled to see it taking so long. Perhaps there are legitimate reasons for the delay??? Nonetheless, we pray for a speedy end to the talks, and for the investigation to ensue.
We weep with those who weep during this difficult time, and we support the victims in their quest for truth to be fully disclosed and acted upon. May God honor your courage and persistence in this trying journey!
And just for the record…no one from our Portugal field council instructed us to not write on the blog.
Jeff & Jenny Thomas
Our names are Ed and Dona Martin.
We are here because we were in Chittagong waiting for the van to take us to Malumghat, when Russ Ebersole and Russ Lloyd arrived at the Guest House with the 14 year old girl who is one of Donn Ketchum’s victims. We were just starting our short-term assignment to Bangladesh in 1989.
We are here because our first full day in Malumghat included the meeting that exposed Donn’s pedophilia and revealed his victim. We know that what this Blog has exposed about Donn’s sin and ABWE’s response it true, including Donn’s written confession and the Russ Lloyd diary pages. What none of us knew is how many more girls had been his victims in the past and how many others even at that time were victimized by him in less overt ways.
We are here because in that month of service, we came to love the ABWE Bangladesh family where ever we met them: Dhaka, Chittagong and Malumghat. We learned to love the Bangladeshi people.
We are here because ABWE’s Malumghat families faithfully continued their day-to-day activities though their hearts were broken and sickened by DK’s sin. Despite their pain, they even extended themselves to us with grace and love.
We are here because our children (Jim – 15 and Kristen -12) spent their days and evenings with career MK’s – going to school, playing board games, swimming, playing “Capture the Flag” – learning to know and love these new friends. And throughout all that time, they had no idea that one family of their new friends was suffering terrible grief because the youngest daughter had been molested by one of the very missionaries our children were also beginning to know and love.
We are here because our own daughter could have become one of DK’s victims had not the 14 year old courageously exposed his sin.
We are here because the 22 years of silence hid the truth of Donn’s sin from the rest of the ABWE family and from the authorities in Michigan while we all thought ABWE had followed through on their commitment to deal with Donn’s sin appropriately.
We are here because ABWE should have disqualified Donn Ketcham from missionary service more than a decade earlier, but they chose not to. Their sin resulted in Donn’s access to so many girls and his abuse of them.
We are here because ABWE is not our enemy, despite the terrible sin of some men who hid sin rather than confront it openly and thoroughly.
We are here because on the Blog we’ve read accusations of ABWE disregarding many other sins and either covering them up or ignoring the accusations. We’ve read instances of ABWE disrespecting and even dismissing missionaries who exposed the sin. Because we have seen this first-hand to be true, we believe what we are reading. We know that there must be fundamental changes within ABWE.
We are here because the Lord God has not been stopped even by these decades of corporate ABWE sin. He has continued to use hundreds of men, women and their children who love Him and serve Him faithfully all over the world. Through their faithful service, He has continued to bring men, women and children to faith in Himself despite ABWE’s sin. He has continued to establish God-honoring churches and ministries all over the world. He has continued to “grow up” new believers into mature Christian leaders, some to become pastors of their own people.
We are here because, though He has not been stopped, we believe God’s work has been hindered, not only in Bangladesh, but in other places because sin has been tolerated and hidden.
We are here because the vast majority of the men and women who work for, or have worked for, ABWE in Harrisburg love the Lord with all their hearts, souls and minds and serve Him faithfully. Because men and women who love the Lord have volunteered their strength, wisdom and time to serve as Board members, including “ancillary” boards, such as the Advisory Council.
We are here because most of these men and women serving and working with ABWE had no idea that terrible sin had been covered up, and was still being hidden, by leaders they loved and trusted.
We are here because though these faithful men and women are taking longer than we would have expected, we are confident it is not through their negligence but rather their diligence. Diligence to seek the Lord and His wisdom, rather than just responding out of their own sorrow or anger. Diligently making time amidst their other responsibilities. We are confident they have broken, humbled hearts, repentant for the sins of ABWE and bathing each decision with prayer and tears.
We are here because pastors and missionaries who are part of ABWE all over the globe are praying and waiting, and in many cases, speaking directly to ABWE leadership.
We are here because, without this Blog, history has shown that ABWE leadership would continue in the ways ABWE has gone for these many years, both the past and the current leadership.
We are still here because the Lord can use ABWE with even greater freedom if there is genuine repentance that leads to the godly changes He knows are needed. We know and love many of the men and women who are currently serving the Lord through ABWE and know that He can use a “fixed” ABWE even more effectively in their ministries than He has before.
We are here because many unbelievers are delighted to see what they “knew” all along, that Christians are hypocrites, assuming the sin of some is true of all. We are here because Satan himself is rejoicing, hoping to see ABWE crumble completely and God’s work be stopped in many places.
We are here because the Lord is able to save even a guilty organization whose repentance results in change. He is mighty to heal broken lives. The Lord can use even terrible brokenness to show His love, mercy, holiness, justice and grace!
We are here because the girls, now women, and their families who suffered abuse by DK’s sin, and then ABWE’s, continue to love and trust the Lord and to speak the truth in love.
We are here because though Donn had many victims, we only know the precious 14 year old of Malumghat and her family. She was broken by DK’s sexual abuse. ABWE’s sins toward her brought her more brokenness. ABWE’s continued neglect and cover-up added to the damage. Her family has suffered throughout these long years but they have chosen to trust and serve the Lord rather than let the failure of the Lord’s people turn them away from Him in anger and hurt.
We continue to be here because we love this dear family and will not go away. And because we love and trust the Lord our God.
I echo what my Mom and Dad posted. And now that ABWE has announced their hiring of GRACE, I will add that I’m hear to continue to pray as investigation begins. I know that this is not an easy path. This decision is just the beginning. I will pray for ABWE, for GRACE, for the victims of DK, for all those involved. This will just get harder as Satan fights for souls, fights for the truth to continue to be hidden. None of us are immune to his attacks, so let us all be on guard. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm…” (Eph 6: 10-13)
I was just yesterday telling my husband a similar thing. I told him that what the molestation did in the life would cause problems in itself, but that the response (from the Russes) was far greater, and far more damaging. I was never sexually abused, so I can’t really know, but it seems to me that is the case for anyone who has experienced that type of abuse. (Actually, any type) Instead of healing, other sins against the person add to and complicate the effects of the initial abuse.
Just updated our counter. 37 days.
What could be done in 37 days?
1. Well, according to Google Maps, you could walk across the entire country, LA to NYC (if you did not need to stop for sleep or food, that is).
2. You could buy a home. In fact, with the usual 30 day escrow, you’d probably have the keys by now and be moved in already, even if you made your first offer on the home on Day One.
3. If you got pregnant 37 days ago, your little embryo’s teeny tiny heart would start beating some time this week! (True fact.)
4. A tiny tomato plant put in the ground 37 days ago would now be full and large, containing loads of little green tomatoes (well, if you have a green thumb and live in a sunny state).
What else can be accomplished in 37 days?
5. The 17th President Andrew Johnson’s impeachment trial took 37 days. The result? Well, I think you know, he remained president. But still. Within 37 days, Washington DC heard all the arguments for impeachment and against and had a verdict. Seriously. I’m not making this up. A president’s impeachment trial took 37 days.
And yet … ABWE can’t seem to muster up the strength to agree to GRACE’s terms. How many times have they gone back and forth? How many times has ABWE said: “No. We’re not willing to agree to that.” I don’t know. But I know if they had agreed to the first set of terms, we wouldn’t still be waiting here, would we?
We may never know. But we know that we were first told 30 days … that time frame came and went. Then we were told some time this week.
It’s Thursday. Friday’s coming.
I feel like they’ve held me hostage for 37 days. I have every right to begin to question what it is exactly that they can’t agree upon with GRACE, and what does this say about ABWE?
So defend ABWE until you are blue in the face, but to me this 37 days says everything. No, I don’t think everyone at ABWE wanted it this way. I don’t paint them all with the same brush. But the fact is, there are enough in power there that are fighting against whatever it is GRACE initially wanted that this is where we’re at.
37 days and counting …
On what day do we assume they would rather have truth pursued in a court of law?
I am reminded of Daniel 10:12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 14 Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.”
There is a level of spiritual warfare beyond our understanding, and a big picture view that would surprise most of us. Likely there will be much opportunity to exercise patience in the days ahead.
I would be very interested to see what kind of list you would come up with on dat 337, but I hope it doesn’t take that long. :-}
This blog is but the tip of the iceberg that is smashing into ABWE’s “Titanic.”
Many pastors, elders, deacons, missionaries, church members, Bible college teachers, and seminary teachers know about this blog and the situation at ABWE. A number of them have contacted me in person, by phone, by email, and by Facebook. I encourage every one of them to write to the ABWE board. A few have posted on the blog, but most do not. Not a single one of them contacted me to deride the victims–every last one of them support the victims and call on the board to stop dragging their heels and to do what is right. Only two thought that some of the entries on the blog were extreme–yet those two were far more outraged by the crimes committed by Donn Ketcham and by ABWE’s handling of the situation.
As Alice Payne explained, there are a lot more out there praying and keeping updated by those who read the blog. There is a great cloud of witnesses, ladies–and they are on your side.
Yes! So much is going on off the blog and people have different reasons for not posting, but they have been diligently addressing this whole big mess, finding their place to speak, and pushing for truth. If the ultimate goal (after dealing with the specific issues of the crime and coverup) is reformation, which I hope it is — reformation in the way abuse is handled, the way concerns are addressed, and even the way we do missions in the third world — it takes time. And it takes a heck of a lot of diplomacy. Or persuasive speech.
I was pondering all of this on the way to work today, and then the President’s address came on the radio. If you didn’t get a chance to hear it, do listen. But here’s an excerpt that I caught and thought, wow! So many parallels, and so true. He’s speaking, of course, of the revolutions in the Middle East. (No matter what you think of Obama, you should understand his point. Reform is a long, long road.)
“Of course, change of this magnitude does not come easily. In our day and age – a time of 24 hour news cycles, and constant communication – people expect the transformation of the region to be resolved in a matter of weeks. But it will be years before this story reaches its end. Along the way, there will be good days, and bad days. In some places, change will be swift; in others, gradual. ”
In all of these past few months, one of the most wonderful things to me, personally, has been for a few GARB and former GARB pastors to come to me and my husband and say, how can we do a better job of addressing the issues the church has traditionally kept quiet about: abuse, addiction, etc. To me, that says, “we do care.”
The investigation is going to take time — a long time. But watch the good that comes of it! Be encouraged by the good (and there is so, so much!).
I heard that the ABWE Board signed the agreement with GRACE today. Any confirmation that this is true?
Yes! The investigation can finally begin! Please see our post announcing this, with a link to ABWE’s own announcement.
— Tam
ABWE has hired GRACE! Please see our post with the announcement.
I would personally like to thank Pastor Ron Berrus and Mr. Darrell Beddoe, who both serve on the ABWE Board, for working tirelessly on this over the past several months. I would like to thank them for listening to us, hearing our hearts (both on the blog, in emails, and by phone), and for believing us as we have cried out for help! I would like to thank them for pursuing truth and for finalizing the agreement with G.R.A.C.E. so an investigation could begin. I would like to thank Ron Berrus for respecting us enough to notify us by phone or email before it went public – that communicates a warmth and care for us as people with real pain, real feelings, and real personalities. Pastor Berrus – you have no idea how much that means to us that you would take the time to provide a personal word in this time of “impersonal” communication.
I would also like to thank the ABWE Board for coming alongside these two men I’ve named and for doing the same. I know there are more of you than just those two men who have pursued truth on our behalf, I just haven’t had the privilege of knowing so firsthand. So, THANK YOU anyway for I know there are many.
Diana Durrill
Big hugs to you all. I will continue to stand with you in prayer.
To Him be the glory and honor, for now and forever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
I just want to clarify that I know there were others who worked alongside Ron Berrus and Darrell Beddoe to see G.R.A.C.E. brought into this process, I just don’t know specifically who. Maybe it was all of the other Board members, maybe it was most, or maybe it was some. I just know that these two communicated one way or another with the MKs to show they care. I did not mean in any way to minimize the others’ part. I THANK ALL OF THEM from the bottom of my heart.
And I want to thank all the pastors who wrote, called, blogged, etc. in order to encourage ABWE to take this step toward transparency and truth. I don’t know who you all are, but I do know who some of you are. Thank you to all those who posted on the blog – anonymously or by name – and to those who chose not to post for one reason or another but did indeed communicate with ABWE. Thank you, thank you!
I also want to thank the missionaries around the world, again – those who posted and didn’t post, for their prayers, words of encouragement, and support during this time. I personally appreciate what you are doing on your field and have prayed for you as you, too, have been blindsided by all of this. I hope we can all commit to continuing in prayer through the coming days, weeks, months of this investigation.
And finally – to all of you bloggers – whoever you are and even if you aren’t a fan of mine (I say with humor and kind-hearted teasing), thank you for your input. Without each of you, this would’ve taken MUCH longer to accomplish. But your input has added a lot – from both support for and protests against our words, you have helped us see something transpire that has been 22 + years in the works. Thank you for showing up day after day to pray, support, encourage, correct, and rebuke along the way.
I hope I haven’t left anyone out….I am oh-so-thankful for many tonight! ABWE (as a whole) – I am praying for you! I am praying for the moderating team. I am praying for the MKs. I am praying for G.R.A.C.E. A new kind of work begins today but I believe it is the kind of work that will bring healing with each new day. God has healed so much in my heart already.
This journey is going to take a while…and many of us will no doubt find ourselves frustrated with a lack of information. I hope we can all commit to words of prayer and support now for all of the above parties. God will give all of us grace. (no pun intended)
– Diana
May each woman begin to feel a touch of healing even tonight, Lord.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I am also very, very grateful for this good result. I know the investigation will be a long journey, but this is a huge milestone and I know that it was fought hard for by a lot of people. I hope they continue to have a voice as more is revealed and continue to be instruments of change and reform.
I’m really grateful that Susannah Beals Baker and the 14 year old victim had the courage to start this blog and get things moving. It was a bold step for them to take, and the hard work, emotional roller coaster, and vulnerability we all had to share once we joined her has paid off today. Thank you, God!
I am thankful for those who fought to have G.R.A.C.E do a full investigation. Thank you for all the time you have put in to see that the victims begin to heal. I am sure that tonight they are feeling a sense of accomplishment because of you. But was have to remember Susannah for her outstanding bravery. Thank you, Susannah for all you have done to see the truth come out. You put it all on the line not just for yourself but for the other victims and their families. You also put yourself out there so that others would not become victims. Thanks just doesn’t seem enough!
I will be praying for the investigation to go as God deems best. And I will continue to pray for the victims that they may begin to feel that they have some control over their lives and are able to get the help they need.
To the moderators, you have been unbelievable during this time. I know that Satan has worked overtime on you and your families. Thank the Lord that is done and we can move forward. Hold on. It wont get easier. Satan does not want the truth out. You made it past this and you can make it through the rest. Just keep your eyes on HIM! I love you guys! Your Awesome in my book!
To those who I have forgotten to thank, probably because I didn’t know you had a part, Thank you for all your hard work. God sees each and everyone of you who have had a part in this. Thank you for remaining faithful and wanting the truth reveled and sin put behind us!
Praying that in the investigation God gets the full glory! Praying for GRACE to know what to ask, how to ask, why to ask, who to ask, when to ask and where to ask the questions. Basically, praying for God to guide them.
HERE WE GO! I’m on board. Whatever it takes!
Thanks again to all involved!
My name is Steve Decook. I was an MK in Bangladesh from 1969 to 1979.
I have followed the blog since its beginning. I find myself frustrated at times, when words do not come together well, and instead of posting a short word of encouragment I wind up stumbling off to bed without getting anything completed.
I really appreaciate the Susannah Weldy’s post to start the “I am here” campaign. The many, thoughtful remarks posted are a sweet aroma before God.
I am here to support my sisters in Christ who have suffered so much at the hands of Christian leaders and fathers. Reading through the blog brings back many good memories of growing up in Bangladesh, and interactions with other MK’s, and it makes sorrow and suffering of those who were abused and betrayed all the more real. This is not just a far-away place for me – this was home, and this is my family.
I am here to voice support for and pray for the kids and grand-kids in the Ketcham family, who face a deep heartache that can not be put into words.
I am delighted to hear that the board has now established an agreement with GRACE, and that the investigation can begin.
I will pray for a new level of openess, honesty, and integrity at ABWE.
I will pray that all involved will humble themselves, and respond to the conviction of sin brought by the Holy Spirit.
I pray that those who need to set wrongs right will do so openly and publicly, not waiting to see what the 3rd party will find – when they know in their hearts the accountability belongs to them. I am reminded of the tax collector in Luke 18:9 – 17 – who stood in the temple, talking directly to God, and not caring about who was listening. He exposed himself (his sin) before all men. “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
I will stay here and continue to follow during the course of the investigation.
I will not be silent.
Congratulations to everyone that had a hand in making this happen and especially to the victims that have struggled for so long and so hard. I sincerely hope most of all that you find peace and resolution. It’s a long way from being over but this is a giant step. May all your sacrifice lead to life changing results in many lives.
My name is jeny Martin. I’m here because I love the 14 year old girl, her sisters, her family. I’ve followed the blog since the beginning, having had some knowledge of her story since almost it’s beginning.
I support her and the other precious ladies who have been victims at the hand of this man, and though I have not met any of the others, I’ve come to love them dearly. I think of you all often, and pray for you. I am here, and I’m not going away.
* my writing of this post the other day was interrupted by illness. I still wanted to post it though. Since coming back to the computer today, I was delighted and so very thankful to find that the agreement with G.R.A.C.E. had been signed. Praise you Father God!
I will continue to pray and will keep checkin in!
I am here because I, along with my husband, Ron, served under ABWE representing and working in Chittagong, Bangladesh from 1969-1983.
I am here because my heart has been breaking for several weeks/months now over the travesty that has ruined the quality of life for so many of the sweet little girls that I watched grow up.
I am here because I want you to know I have read every post and today I am once again brought to tears as I read all the posts as to why YOU are too. (I wrote this much the other day and then got called away. Mom broke hip and was in hospital and now in rehab center so was helping with that situation) And now I continue….
I am here because I care about those involved and I will not go away.
I am here tonight because I want to rejoice with all of you over the signing of an agreement with G.R.A.C.E.
In Reply to Cheryl Perrine,
Thank you so much for your support throughout this entire ordeal. It means so much to me when the “Aunts” and “Uncles” that I grew up with show their support in any way. It has really encouraged me to find out that those relationships are still there, both with “Aunts and Uncles” and fellow mks. Thank you for praying as the investigation moves forward.
Susannah(Beals) Baker
After a pretty busy Friday and Saturday, I prepare to enter Sunday full of rest. Rest in my heart that ABWE has finalized the agreement with GRACE; rest that the Board has chosen to do the necessary thing; rest that God is in control and delights in bringing beauty from ashes; and rest in the fact that my house is LOTS cleaner than it was two days ago! You all were keeping us hoppin’ the last week or so! =) So glad for a reprieve from the intense dialogue for awhile. I hope you are all looking forward to a restful day of worship with your respective church families tomorrow. I know I am!
– Diana Durrill
What incredible peace I have today! The clouds have moved aside and the bright light of the truth is beginning to shine through. I think we all instinctively know that the truth can speak for itself, that it doesn’t need a public relations agent. Let it now speak to all of us! I am praying that the voice of truth will be heard around the globe and that the victims of abuse—missionaries, MKs and nationals—will see the God of justice, mercy and humility in a new and precious way.
In that spirit, I just want to add that if you have letters or diaries, meeting minutes, etc., particularly from July to December of 1989, which may help shed light on the GRACE investigation, please see our note about contacting GRACE here: http://bangladeshmksspeak.com/2011/05/21/getting-in-tou…-investigation/
BTW, if you are a church who supports ABWE Bangladesh missionaries or headquarter administrators or are family of missionaries, we know it’s unlikely you’d still have correspondence from 1989 sitting around. However, if you do, it’s possible that how and whether or not your missionaries/ABWE administrators mentioned Ketcham’s departure from the hospital at Malumghat may be of importance to the investigation. So check those old paper files, if you still have them around. The way that Ketcham’s departure was talked about in 1989 is important.
The Board of ABWE took a commendable first step of reacting to this decades-old tragedy by signing the agreement with GRACE. Mr. Berrus’s letter was thoughtful and compassionate. Now the question is, “Will the Board demonstrate true leadership by proceeding with appropriate personnel decisions to begin to restore credibility to this badly crippled organization?” Can the Board really afford to take a “wait and see” approach to the GRACE investigation which will last for several months when it surely knows that certain actions must be taken?
It is with great sadness to inform everyone on this website that Dr. Robert K. Rapa, pastor of Indian River Baptist Church and former ABWE missionary/dean of the Asia Baptist Theological Seminary died on Tuesday night (24th) from having a lung embolism, which caused him to fall from a ladder. As a pastor of a GARBC church that supported several ABWE missionaries, Dr. Rapa publicly spoke up even as recently as May 17th on this website in support of justice for the former MKs that were abused by Dr. Ketcham and against the coverup culture of ABWE. Pray for his family, especially his wife Esther, who has also expressed support for the brave MKs on this website. They are hurting deeply……….
There’s a reason I am a “former” ABWE missionary (not from the BD field). This is not the time or place to go into my story, and it certainly does not belong in the same category as the horrific abuse suffered by many of the BD AMKs. The reason I am no longer with ABWE does not have to do with abuse (except perhaps some forms of spiritual abuse) as much as it has to do with the organizational culture. There was and is much that I respect about ABWE, but after over a decade of ministry under its auspices, I felt that there were organizational constrictions that simply did not allow me to grow to become fully the person God intended for me to be. To continue growing personally and move in some new ministry directions, I needed to leave the organization. All that to say that I am an “insider” and an “outsider” at the same time. I love many people in the organization, but am aware of many of the organizational shortcomings and perhaps even organizational sin.
I would like, first, belatedly, to state why I have followed the discussion from near the beginning and why I am still here, although I have not posted before.
I am here because I understand something of the horror of sexual abuse and want to stand with the AMKs (Adult MKs) who are proactively seeking to be overcomers rathers than victims.
I am here because I believe that God is still in the business of bringing healing to wounded hearts and bringing redemption to personal stories of woundedness and pain.
I am here because I see something great in ABWE’s history and would like to stand with those calling ABWE to repentance so that God may work first WITHIN the mission and then renew His work THROUGH the mission.
I am here, and I am here to stay!
I would like, second, to share a couple of thoughts.
I find myself thinking about the concept of integrity. At least some of the men whose integrity seems to be being called into question I personally believe are men of great integrity–as they understand integrity! My suspicion is that they honestly believed that what they were doing is right. (A great contrast to DK who undoubtedly knew that what he was doing was sin and perhaps even knew it was a crime–CERTAINLY knew it was contrary to professional ethics and that it was a violation of his Hippocratic oath to “do no harm.”) That is different, to my way of thinking, from a “cover-up.” (Although it would not surprise me to learn that “cover-up” aptly describes at least some of what has taken place.) They indicate that they were seeking to be discreet, to spare Kitty and the Ketcham children, etc. (Probably also seeking to spare ABWE from negative attention.) I suspect that they were largely oblivious to the great harm they were doing to others in the process. The legal system, and Scripture as well, seems to differentiate between intentional and unintentional harm. There is a difference between murder and involuntary manslaughter, for example, though the victim is “just as dead” in either case and the family “just as bereft.” But motive and understanding do seem to count for something in making judgments about people’s actions.
I believe a major factor in all this is that the board and administration of ABWE are probably largely ignorant of what sexual abuse does to a person. I suspect that they have had little or no understanding of the fact that when a sexually abused person discloses the abuse, the way the “person / organization in authority” responds to the disclosure helps to mitigate the effects of the abuse or else exacerbates the harm done by the abuse. Without a doubt the way that ABWE has responded over the years (decades!) has greatly compounded the harm done by the original abuse. I doubt that the administration or board understands this or intended this. Ignorance is no excuse, but it is a more hopeful state, to my way of thinking, than knowingly perpetrating further abuse by their harmful response. There is a corrective for ignorance: knowledge. My hope would be that the ABWE board and administration would invite someone to come and educate them about how they have contributed to the harm–perhaps a full-day seminar–and coach them in what they need to do to begin contributing to the AMKs’ healing instead of continuing to contribute further to their harm.
A good place to start might be to invite Dr. Diane Langberg to provide a seminar. She is a psychologist with GREAT theological depth (although of Presbyterian flavor!), highly thoughtful and articulate, who specializes in sexual abuse and is known throughout the United States for her cutting-edge work in the area of sexual abuse within a Christian context. She is a professor at Westminster Theological Seminary and is out of Jenkinsville PA (near Philadelphia) and so would be fairly readily accessible. (She is also on the G.R.A.C.E. board of directors.) While G.R.A.C.E. may be highly instrumental in documenting the harm that has been done, Dr. Langberg could be helpful in promoting healing where much of the harm has been done, by educating the board and admin and coaching them in how to help instead of hurt further. If I am accurate that many of the board and administration are people of integrity, but misguided and ignorant in the area of sexual abuse (as well as other forms of abuse), then educating and coaching them in how they can now be part of the healing makes more sense to me than judging them for their prior ignorance and misguided sense of integrity. They didn’t know how much they didn’t know! But it has become clear that they need to know MUCH more in this area than they knew before. If they are Issachar people (I Chron. 12:32–children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do), then they will actively pursue this understanding as quickly as possible, even with a sense of urgency. If they do not, then I think both their integrity and their ability to lead are very much in question. They have already done great harm, probably much of it unwittingly. It is time to reverse that and become part of the healing instead of part of the pain–and it will take knowledge that most likely they currently do not have to do so!
Personally, I am MORE concerned about facilitating healing for the AMKs than for calling for judgment for mission leaders, although I DO want these leaders to pursue learning what they need to know about sexual abuse and its sequelae–or step aside from leadership if they are unwilling to do so. Probably justice will help promote some healing, but healing does not depend on justice, and healing needs so much more than “only” justice, though justice is a great start and is clearly a high priority to the Lord. Also, it is possible to have all the justice available this side of hell, and still have little healing come from it. My desire is to see education for those in authority at ABWE–with appropriate action on their part as an outcome–and substantial healing for the AMKs.
P.S. I would also like to see a change in organizational culture that would allow people like myself to continue growing and ministering without having to step outside of ABWE to do so–but that is not the issue immediately at hand, although it could be a ramification of it.
Those are some of my thoughts as I have spent several hours over the weekend re-reading all the entries on the blog. I deeply respect the founders of the blog for their efforts to shine light into darkness and I am grateful for each person standing with them.
Dear “Former”
I agree SO MUCH with your overall perspective here. Thank you for putting the time into thinking and writing it. At the same time, I do not recant or back track from some of the aggressive posts by myself and others during the season when ABWE was demonstrating a dismissive attitude or simply taking a defensive posture.
I truly hope ABWE will educate itself as you suggest. We all need to grow. We are working on plans for a couple hours of exactly that kind of enrichment at our MK Remix (reunion) this fall.
Blessings!
Thank you, Dave, for hearing my heart, not just my words. And I fully understand and agree regarding the need to become more insistent in your call for action when you encountered dismissal and defensiveness. That is completely congruent with my viewpoint. I think we are very much on the same page here.
Your appreciation and concern for ABWE is noted. However, I don’t buy into the argument that these men were just ignorant or misguided. It’s pretty clear from their letters and actions especially after being confronted that they had one clear concern in mind. CYOA. I don’t care what they say, how they say it or who says it. Their actions speak the loudest. There is no excuse for what they’ve done or allowed, period. Any responsible and honest organization would have the heads of any employee on a platter that would be involved in this type of activity and from my experience, even those appearing to be part of the problem would be under close scrutiny and possible discipline. Education is all well and good but if these so called men of integrity didn’t have the common sense and ethical decency to do all in their power to deal with a serial adulterer and molester, then how you could trust their judgment or integrity on anything? This is a more than a little leaven in a very large loaf. Nice of you to give them the benefit of the doubt but their actions leave no doubt as to their thoughts or intentions and to believe otherwise is naive and dangerous. This is exactly how the situation grew so horribly out of control, good Christian people doing what their told and not having the guts to make a stand no matter the cost to themselves. Sound harsh? Perhaps, but it is what it is and here the victims are today because of it. All it would have taken is one person making a stand and not allowing the rug to be pulled over everything. Ahh, but that would have been displaying a bad attitude and not being a team player. So everyone played by the rules and look what we have.
I want healing for the victims as much as anyone. Whether this process will bring that, who knows? But making excuses for those responsible for this mess will certainly not aid in the healing process and while you may not have intended to do that, that’s exactly what you’ve done. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and these victims have suffered 20 plus years of those good intentions.
I couldn’t agree more with you Bryan!
Here’s what “Former” is trying to pitch…
They were “oblivious”…
They were “ignorant”…
They had “a misguided sense of integrity”…
“They didn’t know how much they didn’t know”.
No! I’m not buying that and I seriously doubt too many others will either. You don’t really need to be too bright to know that a 14 year old girl shouldn’t have to confess for being molested by a 58 year old sexual preditor. A person of average intelligence would know to report such a crime to the proper authorities to insure that this tragedy is not repeated. It wouldn’t require a high IQ to know that if several more victims come forward you should do something about it within a NINE YEAR period. Do we really need to go on and on and on with this? I think not!
This has nothing to do with…”they didn’t know how much they didn’t know”…it’s that they didn’t DO what they needed to DO!
And this is what the Board has already owned up to in their Confession of 3.31. They’re too smart to try to plead ignorance and they know that ignorance is not a sufficient excuse for leaders.
Too many things have already been confessed by the Board to give give these leaders a free pass. Too much credibility has been sacrificed and too much trust already lost. This is why some of these leaders will need to join the ranks of “Former”.
The learning and growing that will be required will be for a new head coach and some new assistants. This is just the tough reality…nothing personal. Grave misjudgements by leadership require grave measures.
The Board of ABWE knows that the future of the organization is now in their hands. Is it true that they have already placed President Loftis on a Leave of Absence? If so it may be just a prelude of things to come.
To My2cents – (and in general)
It really bugs me that often when someone posts a more moderate post there is always someone who will jump on them. Is it really necessary to “shoot” someone just because they don’t join your black and white rave? Your words about “Former” are rude and insulting. “trying to pitch” – “don’t really need to be too bright”
What is it that causes you to react so strongly against anyone who doesn’t paint everyone equally black?
Debbie,
I think that “Former” had a lot of good things to say. I did however take issue with his/her terminology, which to me, sugarcoated the offense. I decided to not comment, though, because I felt that David DeCook represented me well (although his intention was not to represent just me) and that Bryan and My2Cents both bring out some very good points that support some my own thoughts, too. But your criticism of My2Cents is the pot calling the kettle black. You throw My2Cents under the bus for throwing Former under the bus. Blogs encourage dialogue and debate. It goes without saying that there will be good people on both sides of the issue who disagree with one another when you participate in a blog.
Personally, I believe that Former is using the kinds of statements that have perpetuated these kinds of behaviors in many mission organizations and churches around the world. You can look at CMA, NTM, and ABWE for starters and find the same reactions: “They didn’t mean to; ignorant; misguided; we meant well; we didn’t know; we did our best; etc.” There IS indeed a strong outcry against those kinds of responses because they are wrong! Sin is sin…no matter how good your intentions are or how misguided you were. The Bible and the law are both clear about sexual sin and the offending of a child. These men are (were) among the mission’s leaders and are (were) guiding missionaries all around the world. They should know the Word of God AND they should know the law. If they did not know the Word or the law, then they had no business being in the positions they were in.
Russ Lloyd has no excuse…he is a “professional counselor” and that requires a thorough knowledge of the law regarding child abuse. He intentionally (because he had to know the law to be licensed) kept this offense “quiet” by not insisting that ABWE report it to the proper authorities here in the USA and then follow through to be sure it was accomplished. Russ Ebersole failed his biblical responsibility by not reporting the offense to the local church authorities (in his letter to DK’s churches on behalf of ABWE) and also his legal responsibility by failing to report him to the US authorities. In fact, I would go so far as to say that they failed to follow Bangladesh law by not reporting it to the local authorities there. We all understand WHY that wasn’t done but it doesn’t make it right. The point is this: moral and civil laws (both in Bangladesh and the USA) were not followed and that was wrong.
So, Debbie, when others tend to “sugarcoat the facts” it is a problem for those who read the Bible and man’s laws and see them as black and white.
QUESTION: Do we have an obligation to submit to local civil authorities even if the government is known to be corrupt?
I follow right along with your thoughts. Professional men each had their own responsiblities. Also when a leader of an organization gives his word to do an investigation and then admits to not carrying through, where is his credibility?
Dialogue and debate is good. This blog has too frequently included attack. There is a turning on one another here that I haven’t seen on the Fanda site. Why? What is the difference? I’ve thought about this quite a bit and am no closer to an answer. Is it because the Fanda site is larger, the abuse is more than one perpetrator, more than one country? Is it something about how each is set up or being moderated? I don’t know.
I do know that in response to posts here, for whatever the reason, there seems to be a quick casting of “us” and “them” .
I don’t see “Former” sugarcoating. I don’t see him (or her?) defending across the board. What I see and hear is – not ALL leaders at ABWE are bad and no one is 100% good or bad. You stated names. My2cents does not. Saying “leadership” and “ABWE” implies equal judgment against everyone. I am all for excising the sin, the crime, the corruption. What I object to is an attitude that incites a lynch mob. A lynch mob sweeps a path of undiscerning destruction. There is cancer. There is infection. There is also healthy tissue. I want the cancer and infection removed while preserving as much of the healthy as possible.
In addition to the point that not every leader at ABWE is culpable, I also see/hear “Former” saying that even those who are culpable are not 100% evil. We put ourselves in danger when we are black and white in our thinking that there are “good guys” and “bad guys.” Doing that 1. I easily ignore/deny the evil that exists in my own heart. 2. I leave myself vulnerable to the evil in others.
I think the part of the problem is that we(generically) have been black and white in our view of people. We see something good, spiritual, godly and assume the person is 100% that. We deny that “such a godly man” could ever do “such a thing.” (forgetting about King David, the man after God’s own heart who still did 1st degree murder)
I don’t understand what “Former” means by integrity. I don’t know if he is applying it to Loftis, Kempton, Ebersole, Lloyd. He doesn’t specifically say. Even if he is, his words still seem to say the jury is still out.
“Former” isn’t calling for lack of accountability. (as my2cents seems to think he is)
[Hey “Former,” maybe you can clarify for us, or confirm whether what I think you mean is correct?]
Let’s say I am 90% good. The 90% doesn’t override the 10% bad. Come to think of it, King David was also called a man of integrity wasn’t he? He was also a thief and a murderer. (thief by adultery) Now personally, I think God let David off too easy. However, He didn’t let him off. David paid a penalty for his crime, his sin.
I guess, all this to say that, even if Russ Ebersole (for example) is 90% a man of integrity, a man after God’s own heart, there is still the 10% and that 10% deserves the consequences.
This morning I saw news that the KKK is protesting Westboro Baptist. THAT is the pot calling the kettle black.
I am against Westboro Baptist (vehemently against!) But there is no way I would join with the KKK in anything. I am against the same things you are against at ABWE (as far as I know) and I want it taken care of, even if it means the destruction of the entire organization. But sometimes the attitudes/things said here give me pause. I don’t want to join a group with its own kind of evil to stand against the evil. I stand against Westboro Baptist. I won’t stand with the KKK. I stand against ABWE. I hope I can continue to stand with you. (you – as in, this blog)
To clarify – I stand against ABWE (in this matter of offense) not ABWE in its totality.
To clarify what I mean by “this matter of offense” – I mean more than the Don Ketcham stuff. – I mean all the parts that allowed him to happen, allowed it to be covered up and anything connected. It appears that some ABWE missionaries, national pastors, national believers have been harmed from things. Not specifically Don Ketcham, but leadership style, structure, mindset?? Maybe it is even more extensive or pervasive. For me, “this matter of offense” includes all of it.
While the Fanda site is too large and too broad for me to fully examine, Debbie, it didn’t take me long to see bickering and what some might call “attacking” of each other on that site: http://fandaeagles.com/2009/08/email-to-new-tribes-missionaries/#comments
Sharp disagreement is really inevitable, unless you are broadly censoring a blog’s comments — especially when it comes to a hot topic like this.
I really appreciate what one of the Fanda moderators, Kari, said at one point, which is that each comment on the site belongs to the person who said it and, I would add, should not be assigned to others or taken as the whole tone of the blog, just because that person was allowed to speak their mind at that particular moment or allowed to respond to something that bothered them.
Thousands of people read this blog and hundreds comment. We allow people to speak their minds here as much as we can, including you. People will disagree. And that’s okay.
This is a place of discussion as well as support. I believe it can be both and that not all of us need to be in agreement on every point to stand together. But I guess the broadness of views you are willing to hear and “unpack” with us is up to you, up to each reader.
The blog moderators rarely make blanket or joint statements about things. Even this right here is just me, speaking my mind. Others on the team might not agree with me, which is why I am not signed in as Isaiah 6:18 right now.
Debbie,
I think that a comment like “I hope I can continue to stand with you” (which you have made on more than one occasion) is uncalled for. There are many, many, MANY posts in which the MKs and the moderators of the blog have specifically said over and over again that there are those in the ABWE organization who are and were unaware of these things. There have been many, many qualifying statements that clarify specifically what is meant when ABWE is referred to in general terms. There have also been many, many comments already about the fact that these men have indeed done much good in their ministry years….but they have not righted these wrongs and that is where the problem is. If King David had gone to his grave without confessing his sin with Bathsheba, then I feel pretty confident in saying that we would not read about his “heart” being after God’s.
You have pushed the idea of “lynch mob” on more than one occasion. That is offensive to those of us who who are moderating and those who’ve shown support. We are not even close to that and apart from you bringing it up it would’ve died by now. We are no such thing. I can list for you several people who are in full support who have rebuked one or more of us along the way and we have taken that rebuke and adjusted our post or tone. Some of those rebukes have been made privately by phone or email, and some have been made publicly on this blog. Either way, people have responded to that! Why? Because that is not anyone’s heart motive. And no one is attacking “Former”….just challenging some of his/her defense or excuse made on behalf of the ABWE men who consciously made the decision to keep this whole thing on the down low. You stirred the pot by calling out My2Cents and starting out with “It really bugs me…”.
If you choose to no longer stand with us, then you choose to no longer stand with us. As I see it, the issue is black and white. Granted, I have a much more intimate perspective than you have and therefore it is easier for me to see things that clearly. (Remember, there is much more to this story than has yet been revealed. Praise the Lord for GRACE beginning an investigation.) But every reader is free to continue following or not – and frankly, if you insist on seeing and referring to us as a “lynch mob” then I don’t mind if you do move on for I find that offensive. Offensive that you insist on taking each post individually and forming a judgment rather than balancing all the facts and posts on this blog together to truly grasp the “tone and attitude” of the writers.
I appreciate your having read my post carefully, making the effort to understand what I was saying. Your clarifications about what I said and what I did not say are accurate.
You asked what I mean by integrity. I mean living up to what a person understands to be right, even at great cost. I do not know Russ Lloyd or Michael Loftin at all. I know Russ Ebersole a little and I knew Wendell Kempton a bit more. From what I know of Russ Ebersole and Wendell Kempton, I think the word integrity fits them well in general–and thus the perplexity about how they could have been so far wrong in this situation. I knew Dr. Kempton to be a man of deep compassion. I do not believe that he would have acted as he did IF he had understood the pain his decision caused for the 14-year-old and others. I’m inclined to think–based on what I think I discerned of his heart in many other situations–that he was completely ignorant of the difference made by the power differential, etc. between a 14-yr-old girl and a 59-year-old M.D. community leader. Those dynamics were not understood well even in the mental health community 30 years ago, and it certainly would take time for that kind of knowledge to make its way into the world of missions which has been largely “mental health resistant” in general. (Some things that seem “obvious” now were much less obvious 20-30 years ago!) I am not saying for a fact that Dr. Kempton was completely ignorant of these dynamics (because I don’t know what he knew and what he did not know), but I am saying that it is the best explanation I have for why a man of great integrity and compassion in other areas would get it so wrong in this area. I suspect that he thought he was doing the right thing, perhaps not 100%, but largely so. I would understand that as being a man of integrity in general, but ignorant and misguided in this specific situation–with extremely painful consequences for others. I don’t think that means that he bears no responsibility or gets a “pass,” but I think that is different than considering him to just be a mission politician covering his own and the mission’s you-know-what. That’s what I mean by being a person of integrity–doing what you believe to be right (but your belief might be wrong!).
Obviously some others disagree with me, and that is their right. I am concerned, however, about those who were hurt by my comments, hearing (although incorrectly) one more person say, “The mission leaders have no responsibility for this.” The last thing I want to do is to add to your pain. Please forgive me for not being clear enough about what I was not saying.
You called some of the bloggers out on their disagreement with me. I agree with you that some of those who took exception to what I supposedly said were in fact taking exception to something I neither said nor meant. But I would also agree with others that say that they have a right on the blog to disagree, and even to disagree in a manner that others find to be disagreeable. That’s not my personal preference, but I see that as being up to the blog moderators to make that call.
My concern here is two-fold. First, my understanding is that when a person “spews forth” a lot of anger, the spewing might help the person feel better for the moment, perhaps powerful for the moment, “vindicated” in some way for the moment, but it has the overall effect of moving the person away from healing rather than toward healing, and it has the overall effect of moving readers away from healing rather than towards it. There are times that anger is appropriate, especially when dealing with topics of injustice, but there are appropriate ways to express anger and less appropriate ways as circumstances vary. Given my motives for writing and the overall position I took, I do not believe that I deserved some of the “pot shots” that were directed at me. But I believe it is the right of the pot-shotters to shoot! There were some honest disagreements expressed in a respectful way, and I receive those in the spirit in which they were given. There were other disagreements that made assumptions about me or my motives, read into my comments things that I was not saying, and responded in a someone discourteous way, in my opinion. Those comments do not harm me in any way. But I am concerned about those who write in that way and those who read such comments that the inappropriate (in my opinion) spewing of anger harms both the writer and the reader, moving them away from healing instead of towards it. That is what I am concerned about first and foremost. I desire healing for those who have been harmed, and something that can move people away from healing concerns me.
My second concern is about the efficacy of this blog. It has accomplished a great deal. Congratulations to the founders and moderators! In my opinion, however, it has accomplished a great deal in spite of the occasional “spewings” more than because of them. People of influence, who are in a position to effect change, are usually adversely affected by writing that is combative rather than constructive and reasonable in tone. It is possible to be passionate and still be thoroughly civil. My fear is that when entries that are inappropriately bitter (considering the immediate context, not the original provocation) are included in the blog, they harm more than help the overall goals of the blog. But I think that is the exception on this blog, not the rule. Overall, I think the blog moderators have worked hard to keep a positive, constructive (rather than negative, reactionary) discussion going regarding a subject that is highly charged in nature, and I commend them for their hard work in this area.
I think we do have a responsibility to submit to the civil authorities, in a case like this. What would happen if the New Tribes man who was raping girls in Senegal had been taken before their authorities there? What would have happened if Donn Ketcham had been turned over to Bangladesh authorities?
I don’t know.
I don’t know if any of us know because while I can think of seven mission boards with terrible abuse scandals off the top of my head, I can’t think of ANY who ever turned the American over to the authorities in the country where the crimes were committed.
So … it begs the question: Why not? Because as Americans we don’t believe in the judicial system there? Is that really ours to decide? Are we above their laws? Did mission leaders (speaking of many boards here) aid and abed each time they came in and swept away a person who had violated children without turning them over to local authorities?
Let’s say the tables were turned: A missionary from Korea to America is found to have been abusing the children of other Korean missionaries in America. The Korean mission board comes in and sweeps him back to Korea quietly. He faces no legal consequences in Korea and he’s gone from our American grasp. What would we think?
Or, let’s say the abuses didn’t take place in third world countries (as most that I’ve heard of have) and instead happened with American missionaries in a place like Germany. What do you think the Germans would have to say about their authority being usurped in such a way? I dare say they would not be happy and may even seek to extradite the American BACK to Germany to face THEIR system, their laws.
When the laws of a country do not live up to our American laws (regarding children and abuse) … what then? The fact that most abuse stories happen in such countries where the legal systems are less reliable, makes me wonder if these “missionary” pedophiles are picking these countries for a reason. It doesn’t take a genius to know you’d get away with more in Bangladesh than you would in Germany.
I think pedophiles make these choices to stay in and serve in countries like Senegal, the Congo, Bangladesh, etc., for a reason. They need isolation. They need an unstable legal system. They need parents to trust them with their children, more than they trust the nationals around them. They need nationals who will feel inferior or intimidated and will not speak up against them. (Our Western prejudices come into play quite easily on the mission field, unfortunately.)
It’s just my opinion, but it is what I think.
I agree we have a responsibility. And I think that if missionaries choose to ignore the legal process (no matter how corrupt) of the land they serve in, they send a message that is actually in opposition to the Gospel.
S0 – I must ask this question: If we are to submit ourselves to the laws of the land (unless they are against God’s law), but we KNOW that the local government is corrupt, how then DO you handle a situation like this in good conscience. I cannot imagine what would have been done to DK should he have been reported to the local police. I’m pretty sure I would not condone what would’ve happened to him under their authority (if they weren’t “bought out”), even if he did molest my sister over a 2 year period….but does that negate the responsibility to report him? I know that’s why he wasn’t reported in Bangladesh, but I don’t know why and cannot begin to believe there is any justification at all for not reporting him back here in the USA.
I rephrase my question:
HOW would you report a crime committed by a foreigner in a country who operates under a corrupt legal system? How can you honor the law of the land without compromising your own ethics?
There is a fine distinction that I failed to make that may or may not make a difference. In no way do I consider the things I said to be an excuse for the wrong actions that were taken. In no way to do think those involved should just get a “pass.” But I do believe there is a place for seeking to understand how people who acted in integrity in just about every other area of life blew it so badly in this area. The request that those who seem to be “against” these men seek to understand them rather than judge them is very different, I believe, from saying that because they were ignorant they are excused and there should be no consequences. The latter seems to be being attributed to me, and it is certainly not what I meant. And, for the record, I fully agree that such things have been said far to often too “defend” wrong behavior. That was not and is not my intent, and I apologize to anyone and everyone who believe that my post contributes to a “defense” of wrong behavior, ignorant or not. I request that my post be taken off the blog since it appears that several people have understood it this way, and I do not desire to aid and abet such kind of wrongdoing, even if the aiding and abetting is because of someone’s misunderstanding my intent.
Former ABWE missionary,
NO! Thank you for your post! I am really thankful for it because it is very thoughtful. I would like to request that your post NOT be removed because you have too much GOOD to say. In fact, I think it is all good. It is a lot of food for thought and you are absolutely right. My initial reaction was similar to Bryan and My2Cents in that I sensed a little bit of “excuse making” of which I, for one, and sick and tired of. True admission of wrong does not leave any room for the making of excuses. But as I reread your post I believe that your heart DOES INDEED shine and you have given us a lot to think about. (Although I would advise a more careful selection in word choice when talking to survivors about such things.) My reaction is more to Debbie who jumps all over the people who voiced their concerns about what you said. I feel like that is out of line. Just as you (and she) are entitled to share your opinions and thoughts publicly on the blog, they are welcome to react to those thoughts and opinions. And if they are wrong in their interpretation of your words you can come back on and clear it up. We’ve seen it done time and again on this blog already. Many people’s meaning and tone have been misunderstood, reacted to, corrected, and then dialogue continues. It is the nature of blogs. The bottom line is – we cannot be so defensive and sensitive about people discussing opposing viewpoints.
But for your words – THANK YOU!
Diana Durrill
It’s distasteful for someone who has thrown around the pejorative label of “rabble-rouser(s)” almost a dozen times on this blog to lecture My2Cents (and others) in a condescending manner. If the moderators of the blog approve a particular post and publish it, then it stands…whether we like it or not.
Wow! And they say hindsight is 20/20! It would be interesting to know what policies the various mission boards have about reporting crimes of missionaries to the local authorities. Is there a consensus for how to approach this question?
Tamara, I loved your “turning the tables” arguments. Let me turn them one more time: how do we as Americans feel about a group of people coming here and practicing their own “sharia” in their community in our borders? Certainly not one person who believes in “one nation under God” likes it. In addition, the local authorities should have had a crack at the pedophile because he was a danger to their own citizens as well. The state has a compelling interest to protect its people and it seems ABWE subverted that.
It is interesting that Paul appealed to Caesar knowing full well the kind of men the Caesar’s were. We are arrogant when we make a decision based on “we know what would happen if we report this to the local authorities.” It diminishes God’s sovereignty and prevents “his servants” (Romans 13) from doing His work for Him.
Certainly the last thing a mission board thinks about is how to prosecute one of their light-bearers in the country to which he was sent to bear light. Especially since I Cor. 6 teaches us to prefer church court to secular court. One thing we can agree on is that ABWE fell woefully short by our own “church court” standards (and made the world look good by comparison).
I think that while those of us who have lived in Bangladesh knew what the legal system was like at the time — and the violence of the culture at the time/volatile nature of political and social discord — it was wrong for DK to be allowed to leave the country without being reported to ANY authority (be it American embassy or Bangladeshi police).
Although this is all speculation (healthy speculation though, because missiologists NEED to think through these scenarios BEFORE they happen and they’d be wise to tune into this blog), I do think that there are several things that might have happened:
Outcome #1: DK gets handed over to nearest police and the police are informed of what he’s done, which is to molest a young girl who is not his wife. Word spreads quickly. A mob forms. Possibly other (Bangladeshi!) girls admit he has also done things to them … We all know what the end of that mob formation is.
Outcome #2: DK gets handed over to the nearest police and he pays them to allow him to go back to the comfort of his home at Malumghat. Then he pays the judge to overlook the charges and let him leave the country.
Outcome #3: DK gets handed over to the nearest police, is tried and sentenced to prison. Endures years of a tortured existence in the Bangladeshi prison system where he might be killed or be released years later (a changed man, no doubt).
Outcome #4: DK gets handed over to the nearest police who then contact the US embassy and request that they handle the matter. The US embassy takes him back to America where they seek whatever justice they can — which would certainly be more public and more just than whatever ABWE did. Sure, foreign soil issues would have complicated matters, but imagine what impact an American embassaddor with marines bringing DK back to the states would have had on legislation, on his medical license, etc. A LOT of things might be different today had American authorities IN Bangladesh been allowed to at LEAST weigh in on what justice looked like and try their hand at getting it for this victim.
So … in my mind … even if one feels that all of the possible outcomes for turning DK over to Bangladeshi authorities go against our consciences of justice, the one thing that was quite UN-just was to not submit to ANY justice system. By not informing the American embassy and trying to get their assistance, those who handled DK truly took matters into their own hands, overlooked ALL forms of justice, granted clemency and mercy (that was not theirs to give) and let down the people who believed they would handle things rightly.
So I think if mission leaders feel that the country in question has such an unethical legal system that the life of the person may be in danger, then to me, they should AT LEAST show respect for the country and for the laws of their OWN country by allowing the American embassy in that land to make the decisions. If you are not going to submit to the laws of the land you are in, submit to the laws of your own, by appealing to the American embassy for their wisdom, legal sensibility, diplomacy, etc. and know that you ARE SUBMITTING to the authority over you, rather than acting completely on your own.
Does that make sense?
And we must … in missions … show respect for the culture and people of the country we are in. Like Dave said, we don’t appreciate sharia law here in our country, where we have our own laws.
While I understand the thinking behind it, I don’t really believe there are biblical grounds for NOT handing over DK to Bangladeshi authorities. If we are 100% certain it would result in his death, then I can see someone saying, “Well, that would violate GOD’s laws.” But we cannot be 100% certain that would have been the outcome.
But I understand that it is an uncertain scenario. Would LOVE to know what an American embassador would do with a man who admitted to what DK admitted to. One day, maybe an American embassador will be granted the opportunity to judge the way the matter is handled, rather than mission agencies believing THEY know what’s best and can act with legal authority.
PS I know my post was getting too long so I took a break from my verbosity. 🙂 However, I think one MAJOR factor in all of this, is that in THIS situation, the men in charge simply DID NOT see this as clear molestation/rape for whatever reason. Their ignorance of what molestation looks like (in regard to how some victims respond) and their love or respect for DK influenced their understanding of the situation, making them truly see it as an affair and the 14-year-old as a willing party to the affair.
And that really is a problem.
In all that has been exposed here, I would have to come to the same conclusion that you did. They felt it was an affair. If only they would not have played the hush hush game and did an investigation then, they might have uncovered the years of child abuse to girls much younger than 12. The men making the decisions were living in the states and knowing full well that laws of the U.S.A. considered it child abuse with a 12 year old.
Since opinions were asked for I think DK should have been first handed over to the local authorities. He committed a heinous crime in a foreign country and is first accountable to that girl, her family and the local authority. When you put your hands on someone, you are responsible for that person and as a physician he would know that better than most. He knowingly and repeatedly crossed a forbidden line. Whatever they might have done with him, it was his price to pay. Assuming that he was able to leave unscathed from their custody, then it was up to ABWE to see that he was prosecuted to the full extent of American law and subjected to the discipline of ABWE and his home church in the states. The fact that almost none of this happened still boggles my mind.
You are right about physicians needing to “know better than most.” I know that sexual offenses committed by doctors, teachers and clergy in the state of Michigan ARE judged as worse than those committed by others. I don’t know how long that law has been in place, but it is interesting to note that in his own state, what doctors do is held to a higher standard and molestation by a doctor is a higher degree offense than molestation by your average Joe.
— Tamara
Concerning Bangladesh and child marriage- even today child marriage is considered legal. How low in age I’m not certain. So your appeal to have him given over to the authorities may not have resulted in the actions you think. I do not know much about Bangladesh, but this i do know is that women were and are not treated as in America. Also, the past can not be undone. There will have to be ABWE getting this right. Your point is valid for future reference. A policy in place to deal with sin and crimes in countries that don’t consider it sin nor crime. This is meant only as information.
To those who suffered this crime; I support you and am only pointing out facts not my heart. My heart is toward you.
I must amend my statement. It is 18 that is legal, but I think that is fairly recent law. The practice is that 52% of girls are married before the age of 18. The atmosphere for women is not a good one. The marriages have gone as low as 11 years of age. Again these are facts and not meant to harm. I’m looking at several sources now. Sorry, I got it wrong- that was based on a news story of the 11 year old. I’m don’t know but that the authorities in some areas are sharia law, in other areas more hindu.
Again though- these are abuses! So again my heart goes out to these women and the mks. It does not excuse abuse! Making ABWE face responsibilities is vital. Vital for a work honoring to God.
You are correct that marriage happens all the time before the age of 18, but I don’t believe that the nationals would’ve been “okay” with what DK did. Even in their own culture it was a shameful thing to be raped. And of course, the girl would’ve been blamed over the man. There is also a possibility that the 14 year old would’ve been at risk and I would think that the family would’ve needed to go home for good to protect her from further abuse at the hands of angry nationals. But I also think that there is the strong possibility nationals would’ve seized the opportunity to make a spectacle out of both the missionary and the hospital work. Tamara’a mob illustration hits closest to home. They very likely could’ve done it just to make a point about Christianity.
I’ve been thinking about this question posed earlier re: what should have been done back then re: handing him over to an authority, etc. I’ve also been thinking about it in terms of what I remember about life here (in the U.S.) then and what I know about the law now.
In the late 1980’s, we were probably five to six years from the much-more public dialog on the emotional impact of childhood sexual abuse. The Oprah-ization of American culture, some of it not necessarily bad, where we talk about these things more out in the open had not yet happened yet. But that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t already a legal and cultural understanding about what behavior is appropriate. And they had children, correct? They are without excuse on that one.
From a legal standpoint, they (ABWE) probably should have gone to federal authorities at that time, probably the U.S. State Department. Because his crimes appeared (at least then) to be isolated to an American victim, on American-owned property, by an American perpetrator, I am sure the State Department could have figured out how to put him under arrest, work it out with local authorities in Bangladesh and get him back here safely and legally.
Earlier this week, I revisited some of my old work on the Roman Catholic sex abuse crisis. What they did was absolutely NO different than what Cardinal Bernard Law did in Boston. Not one whit. And it while it took years to bring priests he hid and moved around to justice, it did happen. I pray that happens here.
I vote enthusiastically for a forum! It will allow those of us who have toned down our vocal support (until needed) but who continue to pray and check in on this, your little community of brave people. May God grant all of you a peaceful and quiet weekend.
To former ABWE Missinary.
Or better yet to the bloggers.
His remarks are an illustration of what is wrong at the Mission. Some will say anything to maintain their status with the Mission. It is a lot of patronizing nonsense. Bloggers keep up the good work and be strong. You need to stand together and firm if you want some valid resolution.
Thanks,for the perspective. I absolutely agree with the assessments by Tamara. I missed them- this blog is growing so swiftly. I’m more used to forum format so I missed a bit.
Thanks Peter; I too wish to remain focused not derailed, although, my role is small compared to the brave ladies here.
We are working on getting this blog set up on forum format. We hope to make that change soon!
– Moderating Team
Yes, the forums will hopefully help those of us who want to keep a constructive conversation going about what ABWE can do to right the wrongs, what other missions can do to prevent such wrongs, and maybe even to understand why what was done was done in the first place — though I believe no excuse excuses it.
As far as why what was done was done, of course Kempton has passed away, so we’ll never know for sure his thinking or reasoning as the ultimate leadership over those involved. It is my personal belief that when the female species is not valued and respected, patriarchal thinking can damage justice. Women get blamed when good men fail. And the younger the woman, the more vicious the blame — which you can see in Russ Lloyd’s writing. He is suspicious and distrustful of the 14-year-old in ways that he never seems to be with the actual villain, the grown male. Sure, he is sympathetic of the wife, but he makes as many assumptions with her and her reaction as he does with the 14-year-old. The wife is sitting calmly asking about a severance package within a half hour of being told her husband molested (did he even use that word?) a young girl, and Lloyd makes the assumption that there are many emotions of sadness and betrayal there beneath the surface that are being carefully controlled — rather than the suspicious thoughts a logical person might have about DK’s wife’s behavior.
I sincerely believe that the immediate painting of the 14-year-old as first an imaginative liar, then a suspicious character, then an adulteress can be directly tied not just to ignorance about the nature of molestation (the warping of a young mind in such long term and ongoing abuse by a “beloved” man in her community) but also a devaluing of women, a warped view of marriage — I have to try not to vomit every time I read what was written about DK’s marriage, as if any complaints he might have had about his wife would have made for good excuses.
In this particular story women have two roles: the pure honor of a faithful wife and the distastefulness of a seductress. I say this because the females in this “play” were so readily and hastily shoved into these two boxes. I realize that it is speculation, but I cannot help but believe those who would buy into that version of these events have a rotten understanding of women and humanity in general. Which begs the question … where did Russ Lloyd earn his counseling credentials? What kind of counselor was he? What kind of counselor IS he? I don’t mean that to be rhetorical or even sassy. I literally mean, what school of counseling, what kind of training, etc.
Lloyd’s bio: http://www.iblministry.org/nstaff.htm
His bio doesn’t say where he received any of his actual training in psychology or counseling methods or Scripture, for that matter. He has a Ph.D., but is he licensed? Was he licensed in 1989?
Would like to continue this conversation on the counseling methods or thoughts that would have gone into such actions and what counseling methods or actions SHOULD have gone into these decisions over on this page: http://bangladeshmksspeak.com/2011/04/23/spiritual-abuse-the-victims-confession/
With our current lack of forums, I’d love for anyone interested in discussing proper methods of counseling in this case and future cases like it over in the comments on the link above.
Thanks! – Tamara
We received a letter today from the ABWE board that Dr. Loftis will no longer be president of ABWE – our mission board as we are ABWE missionaries. I feel that the criticism I have read here on this blog regarding Dr. Loftis has been very unfair. I have not yet written on this site until now. THERE WERE INDEED injustices done years ago with on-going results- – my heart breaks over the pain suffered so many young ladies and then how it wasn’t handled properly. But I have been very saddened to see the reputations of others torn apart in this forum – – indeed, this, too, is sin. Talking about past, negative experiences and railing on fellow believers is not only unbiblical, but just plain sinful. If people have a problem with other believers, they must go to them one-on-one and talk about the offense. Public discussion (even on a blog) about others in a negative way is GOSSIP. The Bible has much to say about this. Yes, I hope that this situation will produce some good – and that God will work to bring healing into these dear ladies’ lives. I also pray that God will bring the doctor to a deep, heart-felt, humble repentance. But I feel Dr. Loftis leaving ABWE is a very sad development in this on-going situation. We need to let God be God and let HIM repay – – HE is the One we can trust “As for God, His way is perfect”.
In Reply to Denise Braun,
I am sorry to hear that you think telling the truth is a sin. I would also like to humbly remind you that we did go directly (one on one) to Dr. Loftis and other mission leaders with this information 9 years ago. As the mission itself has stated, “An investigation was started, but never completed.” Nothing was done. If you would reread my letter to Don Davis written over 2 years ago now, you would see that I pleaded with the mission to go public with this information so that I would not have to take it into a public forum such as this. Again, nothing as far as making this public was done. Starting this blog was my last resort to tell the truth, not my first. It is a sad day when women finally come forward to tell of the crimes committed against them and are labeled”sinners” and “gossipers”.
Susannah Beals Baker
Remember also all the women you have helped by letting them know they were not alone. They were not at fault for what was done to them at such a young age. And to inform women/young girls in Michigan where he was practicing. There were many reasons for this blog.
Thank you, Sharon.
Susannah Beals Baker
When victims of crime (AKA sin), stand up and say “Stop! What you are doing to me (or what you did to me) is wrong,” that is not gossip.
I will stand in their defense.
Sometimes the TRUTH hurts. Change is often painful.
But calling sin what it is – is NOT wrong.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Denise,
You said: “Talking about past, negative experiences and railing on fellow believers is not only unbiblical, but just plain sinful. If people have a problem with other believers, they must go to them one-on-one and talk about the offense. Public discussion (even on a blog) about others in a negative way is GOSSIP.”
What a broad definition of gossip. Do Christian journalists engage in gossip each time they report a crime? Or does it not count if the criminal is not a Christian? What about Megan’s Law? Is it sinful to post the info online so people know if a child molester lives next door? BTW, is a history book also gossip if it happens to contain the sins of Christians? Should I stop reading them?
If my friends attend a church with someone who molested me 25 years ago, is it sinful for me to tell them about my “past, negative experience” with him, so they might protect their children from him? Let’s take it one step further. If I’ve tried to get their pastor to do something about this man in the church, who he knows is a molester, and the pastor basically ignores my pleas for action and justice and exposure, but says, “I’ll pay for free counseling though,” am I a gossip to tell my friends what their pastor is really like and that he’s refusing to help me pursue justice? And if my friends refuse to listen to me, then let’s say I go to the district attorney, but he says his hands are tied because it happened to me 25 years ago. Am I then wrong to go to the town newspaper and tell my story in desperation to get people to be aware of this molester, so that other children might not be abused and so this pastor might be held accountable for protecting him? You would really call doing that GOSSIP?
You would have me shut up about it and go get my free counseling so that I don’t commit the sin of gossip. (Or wait, maybe I’m gossiping by telling a counselor about it too!) I am revolted and cannot contain what I believe is my righteous indignation at your suggestion. I’m offended for myself, I’m offended on behalf of the other victims whose lives have been much more affected than mine. I’m deeply, deeply offended and I am telling you so, in hopes that even if you are too proud to learn something from what I’m saying maybe someone else who thinks like you WILL open their eyes by my words (to logic!) and change their heart on this matter.
What you say reminds me of what missionaries on the field were told. Don’t talk about Donn Ketcham and what happened, because it would be GOSSIP. You can see how much good playing the gossip card did the mission board in 1989. Look where “not talking” got us. Where it’s gotten the families. Look where it’s gotten ABWE.
Just do the board of ABWE a favor and give them your blessing as they seek new leadership.
There have many many comments left here on this blog that have challenged my patience. But this one left here by “Denise”.. has made me so very upset. I don’t even know where to begin.. that’s never a good sign.
Growing up as an MK and PK.. I have seen it all.(I think) And with this blog, I knew it would only be a matter of time before other Christians start attacking one another and “eating their own”. What a hay day satan must having! I am deeply deeply disturbed by anyone who has attacked the victims and their families.
I thought it was pretty clear..by following this blog.. that the victims and their families have done everything they could to follow the Biblical Steps. The patiences, and wisdom they have shown for years.. is a testimony in itself that they desire to handle this correctly.
The hearts of the victims and families are all over this blog. Stamped deeply with every comment they leave. I have never once been left with the idea that they wanted to destroy ABWE or any of the staff former or current. They wanted accountability and truth.
Susannah said it best ” It is a sad day when women finally come forward to tell of the crimes committed against them and are labeled”sinners” and “gossipers”.
And it’s a good thing that none of us former or current missionary’s have ever gossiped. Man, can you imagine?
Seriously? To put this blog in the same category as gossip? My stomach is instantly nauseous.
Reputations have not been torn apart on this blog. The reputations were already there. The actions were already done. The cover ups the political games..where already played. So whether or not this is the first time people are hearing the truth.. these offenders had already committed the crime. And should be held accountable. “Your sin will find you out.. ” is not a line from a fairy tale.
I will continue along with my family far and wide.. to support the victims and their families. This blog has made such an impact on me. Mainly, the way the family and victims have handled their pain…with such grace. What an example to all of us. Thank you for your testimony.
I am so thankful for my parents who were missionaries..for raising me and my 7 brothers and sisters, to stand for what is right. To have a backbone for the truth. Teaching us that God is faithful, although “man” will disappoint us and fail us. I hope the new generation of missionaries will pass the lesson along from this blog as well. That even if it’s uncomfortable.. even if it’s not popular daring to stand for the truth, is the only option we as Christians have!
And to all self appointed jurors pointing fingers at the victims.. Just think.. What if it were you? What if it was your child? Changes things doesn’t it?
Amen. Glad to hear a small bit of justice came your way. Not to glory in a brother’s fall, but to say publicly, it is always good to do the right thing. This blog was the right thing. Confrontation was the right thing. And removing Dr. Loftis (whatever they’re calling it) is most definitely the right thing. He gave up his “right” to lead when he blew you off, and continued to blow you all off for all these years.
I look forward to the next bit of justice, however small. We all wait with you.
“Sad” is such an inadequate word when it is used to describe the depth of emotions expressed in the posts of this blog.
Be that as it may, I too am sad today – but please allow me to tell you why I am so sad.
1. I’m sad that it took NINE long years, at least, of going to the leadership at ABWE privately, one on one, before they would really listen to you.
2. I am sad for the many years your families have had to suffer in silence, only to be told now that you are gossiping (and sinning) for expressing your pain out loud and asking to be heard.
3. I am sad that ABWE leadership chose not to act – 9 years ago and even 2 years ago. If they had, they would not be having to make even harder choices today.
4. I am sad that sin reigned for so long and that mission politics took priority over doing what is right.
I suppose I could find more reasons to be sad but what would it accomplish.
I’m still here and I’m still watching, closely. I support you 100% and pray that maybe now the MK’s and their families and friends can begin to move forward – towards justice and healing. I look forward to the day when all of this sorrow will be turned into joy, as impossible as that may seem to some of you right now. God IS the God of ALL comfort.
Thank you for your kind, supportive, and comforting words.
Susannah Beals Baker (IN Reply to “watching closely”)
Denise, Denise, Denise…wow. You’ve been following this blog and not until now do you have enough “feeling” to even lend your support to the victims. The first thing you choose to voice is your support for one of the people who allowed this situation to continue in spite of first hand knowledge AND the power and position to do something about it. Seriously??? Then, in the same breath, you call the victims sinners for publicly speaking the truth and calling to account those responsible even though they have followed the correct chain of command and were given no follow through.
I sincerely hope Denise that you have not been following this bog to closely, that you have not got all of your facts straight. If you really have, I fail to understand how you could come to the conclusion that you have with the exception of the influence of your strong feelings about Loftis. Go back and re-read the whole chain of events. Your perspective on this is one of the problems here. Because of this thought process and reasoning, this situation has carried decades longer than it should have. Yes, let God be God but that also means that His representatives must do their part because God works through people, sinful, fallen people. When they fail, and they will, repeatedly, then others must hold them accountable. When they refuse to be accountable, then pressure must be applied and the more they refuse, the greater the pressure. As an ABWE missionary, how can you blindly follow leadership that has failed so badly in a huge area and up until now, has refused to deal with it? That is scary Denise and I hope you can come to see that. Loftis may be a great guy but he’s also a sinner like the rest of us. When we fail in our responsibilities, we suffer the consequences not only for our good but for the good of all.
If it is true that Loftis is no longer serving in that position, then I take it as a positive step forward and I hope that this aids in the process of getting things back on track at ABWE. I believe that needed to happen and I hope that what it symbolizes will aid in the healing process for all the victims. My continued support to all of you.
As an outsider, although one who has followed this site since early in March, I have seen much grace on this blog, and very little gossip. Not perfection, but honest expression and much restrained patience on the part of the principals. Perhaps Denise has not painstakingly read all the 1,400+ comments and updates to date. That is understandable, but, if so, certainly not appropriate for her passionate entreaty. Still, one can appreciate the dilemma of an ABWE missionary who senses that the ground is shaking beneath their feet. But here is where we must flee to the place of the Psalmist who says, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
The careful and measured response of the ABWE Board to take this step of transitioning from Dr. Loftis’ leadership is very wise and understandable at this time. Al Cockrell is also a wise choice to be an interim leader because he is very experienced and at the time of life where he should have no desire to be the next president.
ABWE has a great opportunity now to deal with the issues before them and to become an example of biblically enlightened missiology for the future.
I know that Denise Braun’s response probably mirrors the response of many ABWE missionaries, and I daresay it is because of the leadership over them designating any questioning of authority and airing of truth as gossip/sin.
Denise, did you notice the stark contrast between the board’s confession of March 30 and Loftis’ letters that went out a week later? Study them. We have. The board confesses that ABWE didn’t do things the right way and practically begged forgiveness. Loftis maintains his innocence and the innocence of ABWE. Now there is a separation taking place …
Huh. Are you really surprised that they are parting ways? And are you really so sure you want to toss your hat in the Loftis ring right now by calling it a sad development and calling this blog sin? Sad for his family and friends? Yes. Sad for ABWE as mission board and Christian organization? No. They are trying to move forward with a clean slate. LET THEM. It is LIFE and it is also how God works sometimes, so don’t be so quick to say He’s not at work in this action.
Please forgive me; I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I was not trying to label anyone anything. That was not my heart and please forgive me if that is how it came across. And I also feel badly that I didn’t adequately express my concern for the ladies who have gone through so much before I blared on in with what I had to say. Point well taken, Bryan. I have prayed for you ladies and cried about the horrible-ness of it all and will continue to do so. I already mentioned that I haven’t read everything on this blog; I read most of it in the beginning, but haven’t read as much lately, so I don’t know if you could say I have been following it.
In relation to Dr. Loftis, our experience with him and JoBeth – though limited – has been very positive, and so it has been with all of the people we know who know him. So that is why we consider it a loss. But perhaps seeking a new president is the best thing; I don’t know the extent of what has happened with regards to his involvement, but apparently he and the board both felt it was a factor and that it would be the best thing for them to seek a new president.
I did not use the word ‘gossip’ in my posting in the sense that something untrue has been said; I believe the ladies and their stories. What bothers me is the forum – a public website that anyone can read (including non-believers who may be adversely affected). I am also bothered by the way that some have used this forum to air all sorts of complaints that they have against ABWE and people related to ABWE, and this is what I was referring to when I said it was sin. I wasn’t trying to use that word to label anyone. And I wasn’t trying to label Susannah or anyone else as a gossiper. Yes, as one of the responders said, there are contexts in which people need to talk about the things that happened to them as they seek to heal and move on – – (ie, counseling). Also, warning others whose lives could be adversely affected by such a person as DK would be the right thing to do – absolutely, as one of the responders said.
I am praying still that God would work mightily and somehow bring healing into the lives of these ladies who have been so broken, and bring justice in the way that He sees fit. I have prayed for you and will continue.
Dear Denise,
Thank you for your apology. I accept it and ask your forgiveness if I offended you with my reply as well. It bothers me as well that it took a public website to get the missions attention. I actually think the forum is a way for us to live out our faith before non-believers, though. I”ll pray you’ll have peace about the changes going on at ABWE.
Susannah Beals Baker
Thank you Denise. I appreciate your response and clarifying your position. As to what you may view as gossip, I would say that the other issues people have hinted at or spoke directly to have been done so carefully and usually only to support the overwhelming fact that there are serious issues that need to be dealt with at ABWE. I get the impression that many ABWE employees have felt and endured the same types of spiritual abuse for lack of a better term but have felt very much alone and have been very reluctant or perhaps scared to speak about it. It’s therefore very important that people share to some extent what their experiences have been. No everyone doesn’t need to know all the details and those are best reserved for the right parties that need to know. But, collectively, the problem needs to be brought in to the open. Transparency, honesty and a true willingness to deal with what’s going on is the best example that unbelievers can see. They already know that Christians aren’t perfect. That is painfully obvious. What they’re looking for is real honesty and a group of people that aren’t afraid to admit their failures and do something about them. I know how you’ll act when you succeed and all is good. It’s how you recover from your failures that speaks the loudest to me and reveals what really matters.
I was just recenly made aware of this blog by a friend with whom I went to college with over 25 years ago. I attended a GARB church most of my growing up years and made very good friends with some of the MK children who were over in Bangladesh during Dr. Ketcham’s years of so-called missionary service. I met the man on several occasions as well. He spoke at college chapels and many of us were enthralled by his stories and charisma. My heart breaks when I think of my college roomies both of whom were Bangladesh MK’s during Dr. Ketcham’s years in that country. I do not know if they were personally abused by him, but I do know that they were very unhappy, suffered from eating disorders, and trusted very few people . . . especially men. Dr. K was their family physician while on the field also. So, it is very likely that they suffered abuse at his hands as so many others did. I am sickened by the fact that ABWE covered up this man’s crimes and sins. I wonder if those in leadership realize that their daughters may have indeed been victims as well?? How can a father allow something like this to be covered up, I will never know or understand. Thank you for being courageous enough to speak the truth and uncover the lies and deceit. I pray for you all.
A friend of MK’s
ALL SORTS OF COMPLAINTS AGAINST ABWE AND PEOPLE WHO ARE RELATED TO ABWE.
This statement is one of the reasons ABWE has the culture it is embellished in. Some might see those writing their experiences as only complaints but they are life altering to those who have been on the negative end of ABWE. These so called complaints (or complainers) show the moderators of this blog that ABWE definitely has a culture of self preservation. Maybe we are considered just complainers but the truth is sometimes ugly and put in front of some people that have only had positive experiences is very hard to take and so it is labeled sin. You see if you had a legitimate complaint you were automatically called insubordinate with ABWE.
I’m hoping and praying through all of this that ABWE and other like-minded mission boards can learn a very valuable lesson: do what is right, no matter what it costs, as soon as possible. It might be very painful but surely it will be less painful than waiting too long.
The other night I was reminded of a time I didn’t do this. If you can bear a short story you will see what I mean.
A few days after buying a new pair of shoes I discovered a little red spot on my foot, on the heel. i didn’t think much of it and didn’t do anything about it. Later that little red spot developed into a red bump and then a little crater in the skin. I still didn’t do anything! Five years later, there were craters all over half the sole and heel of that foot. When I finally decided to go to the doctor, the choices were gone. He could not treat it with laser or just cut out the Mosaic warts. They had to be burned off with acid. That was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. It went on for weeks! Each time he could cut off some dead skin and put more acid on. I think I had a tiny sample of what hell must be like. The foot burned day and night and I could not do anything to escape the pain.
The lesson: it would have been SO much easier and SO MUCH LESS PAINFUL if I had just dealt with the issue as soon as I was aware of it. I could have avoided the pain and expense of treatment that was 5 years too late!
We must learn this lesson and teach it to our children.
Pamela is right in that there is a culture among many mission boards and churches that does not want to deal properly with “uncomfortable” or “embarrassing” situations. So much agony could have been avoided by just doing the right thing at the onset.
Let us each learn from history so that we never repeat their mistakes.
I noticed that ABWE has scrubbed all the information related to the MK blog from their website. Although it is their prerogative to do so, it still saddens me a bit. If I served with ABWE, I would request that a special page be preserved as a “memorial stone” to something monumental that God has done in their midst, something that they would want all their missionaries and supporters to be reminded of each time they visited the site. Rather than view what happened as a defeat for ABWE and world missions, it should be viewed as a resounding victory for the truth. I just don’t think that cleaning up their image is what is needed at this time. In addition, although they sent out a letter to hundreds of people informing them that Dr. Loftis had “concluded his role as president” of the mission, they still show him as being their president on their website. It’s almost as if the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
I was saddened to see the same thing. I dug a little deeper and if you go to the news page, scroll all the way down, you can find the posts of information. But I agree that this should have its own area. After the New Tribes investigation by GRACE was complete, the recommendation was made that New Tribes keep information about why specific individuals were let go clearly on their website. I suspect the same will be true in this case. Sooner or later, ABWE will be forced to put the full report and even more details on their site. While soon can’t come fast enough for some of us, it will one day come.
And I agree … very strange that a letter went out privately, but no public announcement has been made re: Loftis on the ABWE site. Slowness and good PR never go together — and neither does avoiding inevitable truth. Always get out in front of news, especially news of such changes. Speak the truth of your organization yourself, loudly, before others have to do it for you — otherwise you may not like what they have to say.
— Tamara
BLOG NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE INFORMATION FOR GRACE, PLEASE SEE THIS POST.
The reason my wife and I got into this blog was to show belief, support and love to the MK’s we knew from being on the field with them in the 70’s, and also to the MK’s from the 1980’s, most of whom we didn’t know personally. A second reason was to address the medical/sexual abuse issue. When we learned of the sexual abuse issues, we were horrified. We were aware that this man was very inappropriate in his relationship style with single women missionaries and short termers. We, as a station council, addressed this directly to the man, and to the home board in about 1975. But never did we imagine the violations disguised in medical treatment situations that were going on with the MK’s. I personally apologize to you affected MK’s for not knowing this at that time. A third reason we got into the blog was because we sensed it could be an agent in God’s hand for healing. (Justice is very important, but healing is crucial) (God will ultimately exact complete justice, later if not sooner.)
We have corresponded with some of the affected MK’s , not in an official capacity, but because of our personal friendship with them. As we have talked with them, Joyce and I have become aware of some healing. Listen to what one recently said, and praise God with us for healing:
“As kids there were 3 types of group games that we played…war…airplanes…and hospital. I would be shocked and sick if my kids EVER played like we played hospital. We mimicked what was done to us. Thinking about it makes me sick inside. Why would we do that…where would we have learned that on a compound with no tv or books that were sexual? Anyway, I suffered with nightmares weekly…at times it was nightly. I thought the nightmares could have been because of going through the war, or that our pets were shot where we could see ect. But, at one point when we had a scheduled social interaction with the Ketchams, I started having nightmares really bad. It was so awkward to see them! When the blog came out I had some terrible nightmares…very satanic feel to them. We would pray and it would be better. The nightmares are always the same…a man with a gun at night looking in the window and for some reason I am not supposed to look at him because if I open my eyes and see, than my whole family will be dead…the world will end was how it felt (interesting, huh?). My husband has had to go through a lot with the nightmares. Anyway, I have been almost nightmare free since after the first couple weeks after the blog started. I really feel the prayers of everyone.”
Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” He was talking, not just about freedom from the penalty of Sin, He was also saying that knowing (understanding) the truth about sexual abuse in your background will help set you free from Satan’s related oppression in the present. The above testimony is a plain example of this promise of freedom. So keep praying for the victims, that they will experience the healing freedom that this victim is finding.
Joe and Joyce DeCook
Thank you to each blog reader who is praying for these women. May our continued prayers bring more healing as their stories become known.
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Uncle Joe and Aunt Joyce,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words on the blog and for supporting and praying for all of us. You both mean so much to me . Thank you also for the apology, although I don’t think you owe us one, as nobody knew what was going on as far as the medical situations until much later on! I don’t think we told our parents that we played “doctor” or what we did when we played doctor. Thank you also for the story of healing. I have also clung to that verse “And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” and believe that I am seeing that verse coming true in my life, although in stages. Much love,
Susannah Beals Baker
I don’t know where to begin… I am kind of late getting into this blog and reading almost 1/3 of it…
I am totally bewildered… sad… angry… and at the same time SO happy that things are finally becoming known that should have been known and dealt with a long time ago.
I have no connection to BD, but have strong ties with so many people either mentioned or not mentioned by name on this blog. I praise our Father for the courage HE gave to women who were finally ready to speak up. We respect and admire you for what you did… for listening to God’s voice in doing such a hard thing ~ speaking up!
I never had any kind of childhood trauma like you did. I was protected from predators like DK. However, only two years ago I asked my sister (who is my very best friend) about something that happened to her when she was 13. Until then she was a fun loving tomboy who climbed all the trees in the area, could outrun even older kids and was the most carefree child one could imagine. I was the one who was timid and quiet ~ not like her at all. Recently I asked her what happened when she was 13 when she became quiet. I asked her why her personality changed.
For the first time in her life my sis admitted she was molested at a Chr camp (no, not GARB, no relationship to ABWE either) that summer. I was in total shock, in total denial…
This blog isn’t about my sister. I am not trying to lead anyone aside with my story. I am only trying to make a point of why this issue is so deeply important to me.
We are with ABWE and my husband & I are raising our precious, incredible, God-entrusted to us MKs. We are with ABWE because of Eatons, Trotts, Staggs, Longs, Commons and all other ABWE miss who made such deep impression on our lives. We are with ABWE because that’s where God wants us to serve…
That’s why I am hurting so much reading of DK’s sin and of how HQ didn’t consider it important enough to pay close attention to the pain and grief of a 14-year-old. I am appalled that two grown men would question a 14-year-old child about sexual matters without her parents present!!! I am appalled that her parents found out about a confession signed by their daughter only 20 year after the fact…
I am afraid I am rather like a mother bear when it comes to my kids ~ just try talking to them about something like that without their dad or me present! I can’t imagine how parental rights and responsibilities of that girl were usurped by two godly and grownup men!
Is it possible we are talking about generational differences??? Well, not really. 1989 wasn’t that long ago…
I think those responsible two men should apologize (am I using the right word ~ maybe not apologize but admit their wrong doing) to parents of the above mentioned teen. They should apologize for questioning her without parents being present!!! They should apologize for putting any kind of written document or confession infront of her for her to write or to sign!!! Please tell me, is this the right way of treating parents????
I am very thankful my husband and I never had to deal with any sexual impropriety involving our immediate field colleagues and friends. However, I witnessed some cover up and favoritism. We were forced into silence about some issues because of how our words would reflect on our beloved mission. We weren’t allowed to clear our name when it was smeared…
We had to bring it to God long time ago and watch Him bring His justice… and He has. This is not to say that that the authors of this blog are wrong about speaking up. We applaud you for doing it!!!! We are in prayer for you. We are supporting you for what you’ve done. Our situation was different. We believed in our case we did what was right ~ remained silent, didn’t fight a bully who was put on our path…
I now have a question (sorry, I am only 1/3 through the blog and don’t know if someone else addressed it.) Was this the only sexual crime against children (either MKs or children we come in contact with in countries we serve in) committed by ABWE miss? Were there other instances when things of such nature swept under the rug? Were there other people who were dismissed from the field because of acts similar to DK’s? If they were, did their supporting churches know about it?
Is my question improper? Am I getting sidetracked from the main issues of this blog? I don’t know. I am just a mom who is in prayer for her children and whose heart’s desire is to raise her kids unscarred, innocent in a world polluted by sin. My heart’s desire is for my kids to love God with every fiber of their being… My prayer is for them is to have a clear view of God without having to deal with the pain brought by sin of other DKs…
Please forgive me for not stating my name, for hiding behind initials…
Well,
I hope you all are happy……… Destroying a mission organization is quite a noble ideal and easily done as you have proven here and as was proven elsewhere in the recent past. Perhaps two wrongs or three wrongs or four wrongs do make a right keep on going and you will find out. Sorry, but the justice you seek here on earth will never be found. IF wrong was done the destruction that has been wrought in attempting its proof and consequences to those who did it has not proven beneficial for the kingdom. I don’t support cover up, rape or pedophilia, but if you all were so concerned about this why bring it up now???? It happened quite a while back……..and the leaders of the mission then are dead and gone. I am a big fan of justice and people getting what they deserve……but at some point it gets a little pricey. I hope that your quest for justice brings you peace…….because it is an expensive one……..there are eternal souls likely lost on account of your actions. Blood on your hands. Despite your desires, these accusations s WILL NOT AND CANNOT EVER BE FULLY SUBSTANTIATED. (regardless of what organization you hire.) Keep up the good work……..two or three or four wrongs may just make a right………………………
Dear MC21. Tonight, as moderator, I have let you speak your mind. But I have some things to say to you.
A. No one here is guilty of destroying ABWE. ABWE is not destroyed, they are alive and will probably be better in a few years than they have ever been if they take this opportunity to grow and change and embrace a revival that was a long time in coming.
B. How do you know we won’t see justice here on earth? And how do you know what sort of justice the victims are seeking anyway? Justice comes in many forms.
C. Not beneficial for the kingdom? You are myopic. I suppose you would have told Nathan the prophet not to go messing with David or confronting his sin. I mean … can you imagine how awful it would be if people KNEW what kind of man David REALLY was? Oh wait … we do know what kind of man David was. We have for thousands of years, and yet we still see God at work in his life and his story draws us closer to our Savior. Wow, God can use the story of sinful people to lead others to Himself. Amazing how that works. Glad we are not the first to think of it.
D. You ask “why bring it up now” as if this has never been brought up before AND as if it isn’t perfectly normal for it to take years to unravel the tight grip of spiritually abusive bondage to the company code of silence. Read the blog. You are not only myopic but short-sighted. It is never too late to speak up and it’s never too late for sin to be dealt with properly.
E. You said “the leaders of the mission then are dead and gone.” Not so. Wendell Kempton is deceased. However Ebersole is the Vice President of Ministry to Missionaries (or something like that) at ABWE. He’s still a VP, and the counselor, Lloyd, still counsels.
F. Eternal souls lost? Where is your faith in God? He is at work in the exposure and redemption of sin here. Let Him work. Don’t limit His power with your lack of faith.
G. (Oh, yeah, I’m on G) What on earth are you talking about with this “will not and cannot ever be fully substantiated”? The accusation that Donn Ketcham is a pedophile is substantiated by his own confession in 1989. As for what role Ebersole and Lloyd played in damaging a child, that is documented here by Lloyd’s own report/journal.
H. People like you have scared the victims in the past, but they will not be scared anymore. Why do you think it took so long? People like you saying essentially, “Shut up about this or people won’t get saved.” But they will no longer be bullied by your tales of souls lost and mission boards ruined.
Can victims of a pedophile not BOTH forgive AND seek justice?
How dare you tell victims of a pedophile that if they speak up to protect others and to seek justice they will bind God’s hands in the world and send souls to hell? (As if any human had that kind of power.) I stand up to your spiritual bullying on behalf of those who have been beaten down by the likes of you and grew weary of your kind only to seek shelter elsewhere, outside the church, on the shoulders of people who actually have compassion.
You speak of proverbial blood. Well, I tell you, some of these women HAVE bled. LITERALLY. They have tried to end their lives. You can blame the abuser if you want to, but as for me, I blame the likes of you. Maybe, just maybe, the REAL blood is on the hands of everyone like you who ever said to a molestation or abuse survivor in despair that if they spoke up or sought justice God would no longer be able to work for one reason or another.
I publish your post in defiance of its message. I publish your post tonight, because to the likes of you in “the church” I say, your reign of terror is over. God’s love is big enough, His reach is wide enough, His power is great enough.
The sky IS NOT falling. We will all get through this. Including you.
— Tamara
Well said, Tamara!!! It is amazing to see how hard it is for some people to deal with exposure of sin. I wonder if it is also hard for them to read the Scriptures and see how intolerant God is in regard to sin and how HE never covers up the sin of His people.
Good words, Tamara!
Wow and AMEN! Tamara. The Gates of Hell will not prevail against it. Revealing sin doesn’t make the Church weaker- it makes it stronger, because the reliance is on God not on man.
Also, I’m thankful for this blog and am praying about helping abuse victims, in general. The statistics are really really bad and it is a shame that victims can’t find solace within the church. God help me to be a comfort to those around me and a voice for him not for an agenda!
Still Praying!
well and beautifully said. A prophetic utterance of the Old T school. A pity that it may not penetrate stone-blocked ears of MC21. But a great encouragement to other readers of the blog.
ABWE is not destroyed! God isn’t destroyed! His Kingdom isn’t destroyed!
What is being destroyed here is sin and its cover up. Your sentiments are totally misguided.
To mc21:
It is people like you that are hurting the cause of Christ. People like you that make others say “I want no part in Christianity.” It is people like you that made even me, as an ABWE missionary kid, question for years whether I wanted to believe in the same God you claim to believe in. Thankfully, there are Christians out there being the hands and feet of Jesus to a hurting and dying world. People whose actions show me daily that, God is bigger than ABWE. God is bigger than the pain I feel. He is big, but He is a very personal God. He sees my tears. He feels my pain. He knows what it’s like to be rejected and hurt by the ones you trust. He hates it when people misuse power or position for their own personal gain… especially when they mar His name in the process.
Truth will win. His name is TRUTH. He has already claimed the victory.
Attention MC21 This is a blog, a place of discussion. To take part in the discussion, especially a discussion of this length and depth, requires an understanding of what has taken place so far. Your post shows an apparent lack of knowledge and understanding of the facts so far and expresses an emotional but irrational thought process.
You need to go back and carefully read all the documentation provided. Let it all sink in. After you’ve done that, a couple things should become clear to you.
1. This has been an on going attempt for well over a decade. Nothing has been done in haste. They’ve exhausted every other avenue available to them. They followed the biblical chain of command and were ignored.
2. Some of the ABWE leadership have brought this upon themselves by their own action and inaction. Any destruction has been a result of their own failure. Only tremendous outside pressure has led to the long overdue attention to this situation. This in and of itself speaks to the destructive forces that have been at work at ABWE for a very long time.
We’re not discussing misuse of ABWE resources or errant accounting practices. We’re discussing twisted, perverted, deviant attacks against children and the cover up of this by men who knew better. Satan would love for this to be ignored and for everyone to remain silent. It’s his foothold in the organization and from it he has wrought havoc in many lives which continues through today. Ever seen what a little rust will do on a car? It slowly spreads and eats. You can keep throwing paint on it but the day will come when paint no longer covers and everything underneath has been rotted away. This however, was something more precious than any car and far more serious than the worst rust.
I think Tamara (isaiah 618) covered it well and I add my support to her words.
Mk21,
The Bible states that if you pray for wisdom you will receive it from God. Give that go! I will pray that a $ is not your focus on life as it seems to be in your statement of “pricey” and “expensive”. Besides our heavenly Father is loaded!! He owns all the sheep on the hills!
While many chose a spiritual spin and a holy spirit filled response to mc21, I have decide to chose a practical and straightforward response: “mc21 you are a moron!” I will not be surprised or upset if this does not get posted but seriously mc21 have you read and really listened to any of these letters? I have found over the years it is best not to put God in any sort of denomination box. He does not NEED us to succeed in bringing light to the world. What draws people to Him is our testimonies. These ladies have testimonies of horrific abuse and disrespect shown to them that often destroys. They have chosen to chase after truth. The real story here is not about a group of people that run an organization to “reach the world” the real story here is that God is bigger than any organization or group and He is also as individual as each hurting person.
note to the moderators: I understand if moron is to harsh to publish, it is early morning, I am tired after many busy days at work and seriously annoyed by mc21. I have tried to come up with a lesser label than moron but again, I am just too tired and annoyed. Oh and BTW… I also love Jesus with all my heart but sometimes you just gotta call the foolish people out. I hope you all have a great day.
Sharon
I appreciate the moderators being willing to include the last few comments in the blog. They do shed some light on people’s attitudes. The responses given by you and others to MC21 were gracious and very well thought out. Hopefully others who share the views of MC21 will think about what they are reading and re-evaluate their responses. Maybe God will open their eyes and hearts to the truth.
Keep up the good work!
I, for one, appreciate that MC21 did for us what we had hoped someone would do and that is, fire up the blog again. He or she surely did not intend to do that but we thank them for that kind favor.
I ask MC21 –
Who do you think WE are?
Who do you think YOU are?
Who do you think Michael Loftis is?
Who do you think ABWE is?
I will tell you who you have made all of us out to be: GOD. Only God has the ability to save souls. Your theology is all wrong. Seriously, alarmingly wrong. If you believe that what we have done is remove the ability for even one soul to be saved because of what the blog has accomplished, then you have put not only us, but also Loftis, and ABWE in the power and position of God. I hope you didn’t mean to do that. If you did, then I want nothing to do with your heretical theology. If you didn’t mean to, then PLEASE, by all means, return and re-communicate what your true intent was.
As far as these accusations being substantiated, if the fact that it happened to US isn’t enough, Donn Ketcham confesses that this is what he did. Russ Lloyd journals about it, and Russ Ebersole writes the churches about it. On top of all that, ABWE confesses publicly that what we say is true. I don’t know how much more proof you need. I hope you and I never end up on the same jury because you clearly need more to prove that there is no reasonable doubt that DK is guilty of these crimes. Gosh – we’d be there F O R E V E R.
Regarding ABWE, they have better days ahead. God the Holy Spirit is now able to work freely in their midst. Can you imagine what the story would look like in Bangladesh alone if sin had been handled appropriately way back in 1975? Or 1980? 1987? 1989? 2002? 2007? 2010? 2011? I honestly believe that the work of the Holy Spirit has been quenched on that field because there has been sin in the camp. The home office was an integral part of keeping that sin quiet and even covered it up and so they, too, could surely not have not had the full, unhindered working of God in their endeavors. I praise the Board for doing the hard thing and taking this stand of unwavering commitment to truth and justice. These are their friends and coworkers we are talking about. It can’t be easy. But it is the right thing and I respect them for their willingness to stand boldly with us.
MC21 – you have helped our cause today because the world has now seen, in addition to the posted documents, that we truly have experienced spiritual abuse at the hands of people like you. I thank you for adding your testimony to our documentation. I am going to suggest that the moderating team add it as an official piece of documentation because it was a really good demonstration of the oppression these victims have lived under. Really, really good. I only pray you were misunderstood as a result of a poor choice of words.
Well said Diana and I would add from the ranks of the supporters that the fire hasn’t gone out. We’re watching and waiting as the process unfolds. You might not hear from us everyday but anytime the need for support and rebuttal to those who would attack your cause arises, we’re here. We not only wait and hope, we expect results and progress from ABWE and GRACE.
Well……… I appreciate your empassioned responses, being called a moron, ETC. My goal was not to assail victims of crime, if my daughters were among the victims I would feel the need for justice, resolution, and passion to bring those responsible to justice also. I was simply pointing out (in a manner that would get your attention) that your quest for justice is indeed destroying the reputation of ABWE and as a direct consequence will cause the work of the ministry to suffer. You cannot get around that. Why do I care? Because I have friends that are ABWE missionaries, I have supported ABWE missionaries, and in general I don’t want to see the mission destroyed. I know God can do his work regardless of what vehicle is or isn’t there, but why destroy a good vehicle?
I am not saying keep silent and let the past die! What I am pointing out is that I feel you are misguided in your quest for justice. Instead of assailing ABWE why don’t you direct your assault at the perpetrator himself. You all know where he lives! You know who he is. Go up to his office / house and picket the place until you get what you want. ABWE made mistakes…….but they apologized for them and despite that you seem to be holding the mission responsible for what happened to you, and that does not seem productive to me. That was my only point. If my daughter(s) were raped I would be outside this guys office every day with a sign proclaiming his crimes.
MC21 –
Empassioned responses are definitely called for. You accuse us of sending people to hell. You accuse us of bringing down the mission or man who is capable of saving people from hell. Your words deny the power of the resurrection by placing inappropriate levels of power on ABWE (and us for that matter). I believe you should answer for those words.
You (and the other readers of this blog) do NOT know the whole story yet. You don’t know what level Loftis was involved. I know you don’t know me and therefore you have no reason to trust me, but TRUST ME….once this came out in 2002 there was a great movement by the leadership of the home office (I could name names) to not only discredit the primary victim but also to silence her once and for all. To her credit, the story is not being told on this site because she is bigger than that and wants this blog to be a place for ALL the victims to be not only heard but believed. She knows that God will take care of the rest of the story in His time just as He has this part of it. I couldn’t be more proud of her. But please try to remember that this story is not only about Donn Ketcham but about how ABWE as an organization handled this crime and others for the past 22 years.
You do not have to trust me but I know that my story is 100% true. I know that even though it is sad, very sad that Loftis has now had to leave his position as president it didn’t have to go that way. Not at all. We did not make his decisions for him back in 2002-04, 2009-11. He did. And the choices he made affect not only us but ABWE. If, and it is a big IF, ABWE as an organization goes all the way down, it will not be our fault. We did not choose to abuse ourselves nor did we choose to cover it up.
BUT – I believe that ABWE as an organization has made the first of many steps in the right direction. I believe they will experience their best days in the years to come.
Yeah, what she said.
MC21, you write:
“If my daughter(s) were raped I would be outside this guys office every day with a sign proclaiming his crimes.”
I find picketing someone and stalking them to be rather distasteful :~). Starting a blog is MUCH more effective.
So, let me get this right mc21- you would rather that others continue in sin for the sake of ‘the gospel’? God forbid! Mission Boards often have a problem with – power and ego- thinking and taking power that is not theirs to take! What is it that Jesus said in Mark 10:42-45? (paraphrase) – Be a servant leader- DON’T Lord it over them. Humble servant leadership would have done things differently at ABWE.
Your attitude is obvious, in that you don’t think that God can work in everyone’s life! In the lives of ABWE staff, in the women here, in the lives of other missionaries, in the lives of those that read the blog- and even in the lives of the unsaved. I DON’T want your theology!
All power is given- and it is not our own! An unsaved person could even be drawn to the fact that- people are getting things straightened out! The sake of the Gospel argument is fallacious. These ladies did follow the Matthew passage. And then the ending of that passage is that the church (not the mission board) is to for a time go and continually plead. And then if they do not hear the church (I’m part of that- and as ABWE is made from many local churches, it is then my duty to speak.) so back to if they hear not the church let them be as ? (I’ll let you fill in the blank since you know the verse)
There has been a small positive change already at ABWE so allow God to work in all our hearts. It saddens mine to think mc21 that perhaps you have no room to grow. It saddens me to think that perhaps my heart is often the same way. May God show you that he is the disposer and that in railing against these Ladies the strength they show seems to me to be of God. After having been denied for years- how can they stand each day? Only by God’s strength.
MC21, you’re right about one thing. There most likely will not be real justice on this earth for Ketchum. It’s too late and what should have been and should be done to him just isn’t going to happen in today’s wimpy, PC society. At most you might get some lame apology and or force him to retire. If he was truly sorry about anything he’s done, he would have actively done something to show that to the victims and this whole blog might never have been needed. Obviously, he has never been that sorry nor felt the need to even attempt to atone for his actions.
“ABWE made mistakes…” No, some of the leadership of ABWE took deliberate actions to cover up what he had done and bury it. By doing so, they not only minimized what happened but demeaned the victims even more, allowed untold damage to continue in their lives, defrauded member churches and allowed a pedophile, rapist, molester to go on his merry way! Said pedophile then opened up a clinic so he could do what he wanted on his own property and profit while doing it!
But according to you, we should all just go on our merry way and ignore it. “C’mon, they’re doing good things there.” Never mind the spiritual and emotional abuse. Never mind the abuse of leadership and influence to keep things quiet for the “sake of the organization.” Never mind the damage this has done to people who have been betrayed by ABWE’s actions. They’re just sacrificial lambs for the cause of Christ. What’s a few molested kids? “We’re winning souls here!” The end justifies the means so it’s all good.
That’s what I read you saying no matter what your intent or goal was.
I’ve been following this blog since the beginning and this thought has come to me several times. Perhaps I missed it, but does anyone know if Donn is aware of or has read this blog? Or has he been protected from knowing about it? Just curious. I find it odd that he apologized to one victim before the onset of this blog, but has failed, to my knowledge, to make ammends with any of the other victims since this blog started. If he doesn’t know about it, then he SHOULD know about it!
We went to the mission field with ABWE in 1979 and our pastor was Dr. Paul Tassell, he told us he could never work under the system of ABWE and yet he was a loyalist, like some who have commented on this blog. We didn’t have a clue what he was talking about but it didn’t take us long to learn what he meant. How much sin does an organization like ABWE have to cover up and then admit to before these loyalists say enough is enough. I am thankful we are out of this corruption, as that is exactly what it is whether we like to admit it or not. Some of the men are well and truly alive who are a part of this corruption, I keep waiting to see how they are going to respond and am still waiting. Who is the real sinner(s) here??? I think not the creators of this blog or those who support them!!!
Well said! Diana, Tamara and all of you in your response to MC21. You have said it so well. I continue to be amazed at your Grace in the midst of the battle, the truth telling. Even though you should not even need this blog to have the truth come out, it has been a wonderful spiritual journey to all of us. God continues to work in all of our lives each and every day. Thank you for your Godly spirit.
I have a personal question, that being how did you obtain all the correspondence that was written dealing with this sinful man, Dr. Donn William Ketcham? I don’t actually have to be privy to this information and would perfectly understand if you don’t divulge it but I have read every entry on this blog and can’t ascertain how you were able to obtain the Russ Lloyd Diary and the correspondence from Russ Ebersole to the churches and the confession of Donn Ketcham as well as his pathetic letter to the churches and the oh so sad so called confession of the child victim.
Just wanted to pop by and say that even though everything seems quiet, at least here, we know that you are still in the midst of it. I am still praying. Nothing has changed, even though the volume has died down.
In XC,
Rebecca
Agree with Rebecca! I visit everyday, sometimes several times and pray each time. Just because we are quiet in no way means we are gone. 🙂 Perhaps we should be more reassuring and write from time to time.
It’s good to see that the world is still watching and waiting with us.
We appreciate your support and prayers.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
A STORY OF HEALING
The “blog and ABWE matter” is involved with 2 essential issues, the quest for justice, and the quest for healing of victims (and their families). Justice will happen, hopefully sooner rather than later, but it will happen. God’s character is at stake. Healing will also happen eventually, when “God shall wipe away all tears from our eyes.” But it is His desire that a lot of healing happen now. Here is another story of healing of a Malumghat MK.
Sexuality is one of God’s most powerful creative designs. He designed it to be a very major glue in the life-long bonding of husband and wife. Because it is so powerful, when it is abused, especially in the young, it can be powerfully used by Satan to disrupt that life. False guilt, sexual dysfunction, depression, relational dysfunction, subsance abuse, horrible dreams, and more all can significantly disrupt, and even destroy, the life of the abused. And these things have happened to a number of Malumghat victims. Healing involves, among other things, exposing the happening to the light of day and to the truth of God in Christ (which hopefully with the help of a good counselor). It also involves allowing God to grant the victim forgiveness to the molester, even if the molester never admits his wrongs, or never asks forgiveness (and often they never do). Granting unconditional forgiveness is very healing. It refreshes our relationship with our Lord. And, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” “If the Son shall set you free, shall be free indeed.”
The Story, from personal communication and with the victim’s permission:
“My recollection of the physical and breast exam was that it happened when I was 13. As a girl who developed early, it was especially awkward. I feel like my pelvic exam took place sometime when I was on 14 or 15. (Note: most doctors agree that for a routine physical exam on a girl this age, a breast exam and a vaginal exam is simply not done—have you or your kids stateside had this done at this age?)
Briefly, my experience with Dr. K was remembering him teaching me a breast self-exam. I recall laying on the examining table while he showed me how to put one arm behind my head and using the free hand to examine the breast. I can remember it being extensive and embarrassing while he did the examination as well as he had me do the examination to myself to show that I had learned how to correctly do it. One thing I felt was weird was that he never used the word “bra” or “brassiere” when asking me to dis-robe. He always made a joke of it and told me to remove my “upper-topper-flopper-stopper” or my “over-shoulder-boulder-holder”.
I have no recollections of my pelvic exams other than remembering staring at the ceiling and seeing the cracks, stains, baby tick-tickies, etc. I do have a fuzzy memory or having to have my feet in stirrups and being told to scootch down abit. Other than that, I don’t have any concrete recalls. Just fuzzy fleeting memories that were anything BUT warm and fuzzy!
I did have recurrent nightmares as a child. (Note: the victim was on the field from childhood.) I believe I was more protected from harm by hanging around with the older girls. As a child, we did play hospital…and the sexual explicitness of the play would have horrified me if I knew that my own children had played the same way. Interestingly, playing hospital was ONLY with our fellow MK’s and not nationals. There was stuff we knew that we should never have known at such a young age. I did have dreams of being chased by a rabid dog and barely escaping being bitten. The dream was always feeling like my legs were made of lead and I couldn’t run. Also, that a tidal wave was coming and I was unable to get my legs to move fast. When I returned to the field as an adult, the dreams came back…but this time they were in the form of sleep paralysis. There were many times I would wake up in the night or from a nap and be totally unable to move. Nothing worked except my mind. I would fight my way out of the paralysis as though my life depended on it…using sheer will to open one eye and then the other, to lift one finger and then another until I was able to move again. During the paralysis time, my heart would be pounding out of my chest and there was a feeling that, if I didn’t climb my way out of the paralysis, I would die. The blog has allowed me to put the dreams in perspective. I feel a deep sense of freedom knowing that others were able to come out with their stories…even if the stories were hazy and vague.
One other thing… while on the field as an adult, I began having heart arrhythmia to the point where it was keeping me awake at night. I told Alice Payne (the miss’y health nurse) and she arranged an EKG that DK performed with Alice in the room. When he had me disrobe to my waist so that he could attach the suction cups/wires to my chest, I fought a severe panic/terror attack that I wasn’t sure where it had come from. I felt very exposed (literally) and wanted to pull the sheet up to cover my breasts a little…but there was no sheet. Once the K’s left the field, the dreams, paralysis, and feeling of spiritual oppression ended.
For me, the blog has been freeing because the “gag order” is lifted and we now can know that others have gone through similar experiences. We (I) am not walking through the recovery alone!”
End of story. Hopefully, for some, this story will be the beginning of healing, or, for others, help their healing along.
I am very thankful for the healing this victim is experiencing.
I am praying for each woman who was sexually abused by Donn Ketcham.
I am also praying for those who are victims of the spiritual abuse of ABWE leadership through the years.
Joe,
I am troubled by your comments regarding forgiveness. I don’t believe we are called to unconditionally forgive. In fact, I believe many Christians have a flawed view of forgiveness. We are often told to “forgive and forget.” Some would even argue that “it is never wrong to forgive.” But as Chris Brauns states in his book Unpacking Forgiveness, [even] “God does not forgive the unrepentant. It would be wrong for him to do so because it would go against his own justice and holiness.”
God doesn’t forgive us if we don’t repent and ask for His forgiveness. Instead, He offers his forgiveness freely to those who humbly ask for it.
“Forgiveness is not only conditional for God. It should be conditional in our relationships, too. For sure, we must have an attitude of grace or a willingness to forgive all people. We are commanded to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:45-48). But, complete forgiveness can only take place when there is repentance.”
This applies to Donn Ketcham and to those involved with the cover up at ABWE (Loftis, Davis, Ebersole…) and on the field (Field Council leadership). Until each person takes ownership of their own wrongdoing and repents, both before God and to those they have sinned against, complete forgiveness cannot take place.
DK is an old man, and no person is getting younger.
My prayer is that each will repent while they still can.
Hi Susannah, I have appreciated your additions to the blog. Thank you! About forgiveness: I might not agree entirely with how the guy unpacked it. Agree, God requires repentance in order to forgive. However we are not God. Next, God requires us to forgive. See Matt 6:12, 14, 15. and Matt 18:35. And not a word about the other person’s repentance. Next, I did not say we must forgive the unrepentant, I said “involves allowing God to grant the victim forgiveness to the molester, even if the molester never admits his wrongs,”…. There is a huge difference. We don’t have the capacity to forgive some stuff, it is just too bad. But God will grant us forgiveness if we seek it earnestly. Next: Ro 12:19 tells us to leave vengeance to God (refusing to let God give you forgiveness is a kind of vengeance). Says nothing about repentance here, just says leave vengeance to God. I think when Mr. Brauns says ““Forgiveness is not only conditional for God. It should be conditional in our relationships, too,”– I think he is seriously misquoting God. (no offense meant, Mr. Brauns). (restoring a decent human relationship with the molester probably depends on his repentance, confession, asking forgiveness, but that is a different matter entirely)
So who is being hurt if the victim doesn’t experience God’s giving them forgiveness? The victim is being hurt (certainly doesn’t hurt the molester)
Why would we want the victim to keep being hurt!
Why would God want us to forgive the unrepentant (I mean, to let Him give us forgiveness for the unrepentant)?? (and DK may never repent of this stuff–that is God’s business). Because to not accept God’s gift of forgiveness toward the unrepentant perpetrator is to be left with a life of anger, bitterness, depression, dysfunction, and the like. There is no escape from these things when one has been sexually molessted. I want better for the victims. I want freedom from these things for the victims. Acceptance of God’s forgiveness to the unrepentant frees us from these things. “If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed.”
Anyway, Susannah, that’s how I understand it. Hey, we love you guys, and are thankful for what you are doing here! Uncle Joe
Thank you for clarifying a few parts of your comment. I don’t want to argue about this. I do believe God can help a victim be freed from resentment and bitterness even if the abuser never repents. (This is one part of forgiveness.) For complete forgiveness to take place, however, I believe repentance is necessary.
What if the person is dead and can’t repent? Just curious.
See part A of previous comment
“I do believe God can help a victim be freed from resentment and bitterness even if the abuser never repents.”
I do believe that would cover the death of a person, who hasn’t repented.
Recently, I’ve come to grips that forgiveness like love is a commitment. And sometimes it is a very difficult commitment. Full restoration takes both parties- just as a side note that happened with a friend and myself this weekend. Full and I do mean full restoration!
Praying for all of you ladies! Please keep going.
At the point of death, we can no longer seek the repentance of the offender.
It is now between the offender and God. (It doesn’t look good for the offender.)
Romans12: 18-19 says:
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
That’s why I’m praying for repentance now- before it’s too late!
(I grew up loving Donn Ketcham. He was like a grandpa to me when I was in Bangladesh. To know the magnitude of his offenses is heartbreaking, not just because of the hurt to each victim, but because of all the broken relationships.
Most of those relationships cannot be restored (because of the nature of the offense), but his relationship with God can.)
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Hi Susannah, hey, we won’t argue. Just share thoughts. But crucial thoughts. For complete freedom, you (generic “you”) can’t hold on to any vengeance/bitterness (which is partial forgiveness). You got to give ALL that to God (Ro. 12) Only God can accomplish that in your life. The person that withholds just a little bit of forgiveness because the other person hasn’t repented in only hurting himself, not the perpetrator. Why go thru life hurting yourself? God wants for you complete freedom, not partial freedom. (again, generic “you”)
Real restoration of friendship (which we have experienced in our own lives) depends on real repentance by the guilty. That is different, from forgiveness, where we hand all vengeance over to God.
Whether this perpetrator will ever fully repent or not is between him and God. We are out of that loop. We can wish he would, but we are out of that loop.
Uncle Joe
See the attached article on forgiveness. One of the moderators found it today and shared it with me.
I think the article is well written and touches on some of the tough issues.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
The F Word: Forgiveness and It’s Imitations
Hi again Susannah, I read the link. Agreed with some of it, disagreed with some (i.e., “resentment is God’s good gift that leads us to prize justice”—I had a little trouble looking at resentment as “God’s good gift,” however the author intended to contextualize it. Justice is essential because God is just. God doesn’t need my resentment to help Him accomplish justice).
Now, I don’t advocate a simplistic “forgive and forget” formula. Some sins, esp sexual sins against a minor, are too deeply wounding to “forget.” One needs to be protected against this happening again. “Sweet reconciliation” may not be possible in this life, even if there is repentance. But retaining a “resentment” is simply retaining your right to be involved in the punishment process. Ro 12 says “give that right entirely to God.” Be set free from that “right of revenge.” Be set free. At least, that is how I understand it.
I appreciate your spirit and your discussion. Thanks! Uncle Joe
Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that comment on resentment, either. I do think that resentment destroys. I do, however, think it is important to seek truth and in the case of crimes committed, seek justice. A Christian who commits a crime against other believers is not exempt from punishment.
Micah 6:8
Act justly.
Love mercy.
Walk humbly.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Susanna: agree completely. and GRACE is a wonderful group to see what truth and justice can be accomplished in the “here and now.” And after that, truth and justice WILL be fully accomplished. (whether any perpetrator is a real Believer or a “make-believer.”) “God is not mocked.” “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” But for the victims, freedom is the goal–freedom from the power of this past evil to affect their current lives. “if the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed.” Uncle Joe
The following is an entry from 2 months ago by a non-MK. Did you see it? It speaks to the healing power, both of this blog, and of disclosure and truth:
“Although I have only posted once before with my name, I will do so tonight. I do this to honor the brave women of this blog, and to honor two of my own dear relatives who spoke out against their horrible sexual abuse and sought truth and justice. This blog has helped me work through some “stuff” of my own. It has been sort of a “counselor” to me and helped me to release some of my own shame and guilt.”
It would be encouraging to know how many other women, MK or not, have found this blog to be like a counselor and helper in working thru abuse issues. Anybody out there care to comment? Names not needed.
Confused is more like it at the moment. Not about the beginning of healing for the lady mentioned by Joe, but about how pointed that question seems to me. The Anybody out there care to comment- as if forcing a confession or a testimony or a sharing of healing.
Indeed this blog has been working in my life, in many different ways. I’d like to say that I’ve perhaps taken the question wrong. This is because in the past someone else wanted to -force me into telling my pain to a them; a person I believe was unworthy. Basically, it was a judging of me without understanding so I was ‘forced- or coerced into telling them of pains’, and reasons for my distance from participation in the group. (That actually, hurt me all over again.)
Having read other posts, my reaction is perhaps misguided. (Some things take time to get over and trust needs rebuilt)
Again, back to subject. I do praise God and pray for continued healing for these ladies.
I was an MK with Baptist Mid-Missions in Bangladesh from 1979-84, and again from late 1986 through early ’87. I visited the ABWE missionaries numerous times over the years, in Chittagong and Malumghat, and even lived at Malumghat for a year, the entire calendar year of 1983. I lived with the Walshes and Archibalds, but I know many of you who have posted on this blog.
I’ve written so much about this and then backspaced (erased) what I’ve written… over and over. You’ve all said what needs to be said. I simply want to extend my own love and support to you all, and want to let you know that your “sister missionaries” from BMM are praying for you as well. Thank you for your courage and stand. We love you.
Phil (Bro), it’s good to “hear” from you after all this time. It’s good to read from your own hands. I am encouraged. I knew when I got “that letter” years ago it was a canned letter and you couldn’t say what you needed to.
We’ve been there with BMM on similar issues. Nothing as serious as pedophilia, mind you. I cannot imagine the pain that has taken place here. But the gag orders from “up stairs” and political posturing… yes, I do understand. Been there, done that. I’m sick of it, and I can only imagine what our Savior thinks of “man’s way”. It’s time our “spiritual leaders” get back to “His way”, as so clearly laid out in Scripture.
Sisters, you are not alone in this struggle. I am another brother who is standing by you.
Love, Wes
So sad to hear about yet another “sister”mission board that uses political posturing, gag orders, etc. Are there any left that have not gone down this road? How did organizations that started out with such good intentions end up doing so much harm to so many people? I’m praying that THIS will be the year that they clean house – or that God will . . . .
Wes, thanks so much for writing. We all remember you well, and it’s good to hear from you.
— Tamara (aka Tammy Barrick)
This was elsewhere on the site. Thought I’d put it here:
*************************************
I do find this strange. If Dr. Loftis was all of those things, why is he not still at ABWE? This spin bothers me a lot. And if it has nothing to do with the investigation into abuse, then why is the timing of him being asked to move on so oddly coincidental?
I feel like we’re still waiting for some transparency here, and I’m disappointed by this interview. It’s like there is an elephant in the room. I ask again, if Loftis is all of those things, if ABWE wants all of those things Loftis had (that they list), if this has nothing to do with the abuse investigation, then WHY. If I were a church supporting ABWE I would want some better answers than this. In fact, if I were Loftis I’d want better answers than this, and I hope they had the decency to at least give HIM the straight answer as to why he couldn’t stay (and of course they did!) … because they are not giving it to the public right now. Shoot straight, ABWE. Stop protecting reputations and shoot straight about this. WHY is Loftis not the man for the future of ABWE? This move has spiraled down into double talk and spin.
Wow. They’re walking two steps forward and taking at least one back every time. Your observations are spot on. If I were reporting this story, none of this would fly. And I would contact a victim or four to see if they believe the juxtaposition of events have nothing to do with this. And I would come over here, to the blog, and read the comments and look at the evidence of stonewalling by Dr. Loftis and I’d tell a different story. Because it is a much different story.
It appears the long-valued ABWE/GARB practice of reputation protecting continues. New name, different day.
EXACTLY! I pray that this type of info is shared with GRACE. Anyone who experienced being a child of a GARBC Pastor/Missionary and then worked in a GARBC approved agency or mission totally sees the importance of going back 15 to 20 years and looking at the hierarchy, ( I know it is not suppose to exist among Baptists).
I experienced/observed first hand how the once “approved by the GARB agencies and mission boards” shared members and secrets, oh and the word “nepotism” does come to mind as well. If a brother/father served in the board it might affect the decision making of their wrong doing.
Of course there were and are many ABWE and GARBC missionaries and pastors that love the Lord and desire to serve him. But it is very clear as we continue to read stories on this blog that while some men thought to be righteous did not count or guard or measure that righteousness in the “light of God’s Word” and be accountable for their actions and those they served, no, what has been observed is this: the new “technology has opened the information once hidden behind closed doors of board meetings, agendas, PR memos etc., etc.
I for one thank God that He has given the courage and ability to those who use these avenues and no more can the GARB , ( and the council of 18 that promises truth and open sharing of information with the churches), and the promised accountability by the mission boards, their administratorsand their statements of righteous decisions and accountability, now have the awareness that ALL things maybe brought into the light!
I too an thankful for the decision of the GARB to clearly state their intent to protect the children and their families. Just when is this going to begin, will they go back into the past 5 10 20 or more yrs. to bring to account men that have abused children at GARBC churches, camps, or mission fields.
I may have missed that intent. Because if they are stating it is from this time forward, then it appears to me that it is to protect them from any backlash of the past. And why no comment of the disappointment of ABWE practices past to present?
Again, there are many wonderful missionaries on the field, I do not want them hurt in any way, but I HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD THE GARBC EVER SUBMIT A
WARNING: The policies and practices of this mission -agency-college makes it necessary for us to give the following information and encourage you to contact the said agency and STOP all funding. Part if the monthly funding to the missionary goes to this agency that is NOT making good decisions and as a good steward of GOD, send the money directly to the missionary.
Resolutions are beneficial, but as I have read this blog the last few months, I think a RED FLAG or SIREN or WARNING from someone in the GARBC might have been a little more appropriate.
If there goal is to correct a wrong that they “unbeknownst were a part of since they DID approve this agency during this time they and the churches need to take steps to make sure their lack if knowledge via ABWE.
Let me be blunt: Would a pastor with this knowledge, knowing what we now know, stand in the pulpit on Sunday morning before an offertory prayer and state, it is now time to take the offering please give generously to our missionaries,and their mission board that has been and is protecting a predatory child abuser.
I can not imagine anyone sitting in the pew, and not saying; WHAT, WHAT, did he just say. I am NOT giving my money to that agency, I give it to a missionary under that board, oh that is right a good chunk of their support each month goes to to the agency. WHAT? I was supporting those ungodly decisions their lying, the hiding the truth, well I will NOT do it anymore!
Yes, something like that might make this process move a little faster!
So thankful for all that have open the light of these horrible hidden sins against children of the past and making us realize it is a lifetime issue. NOW let’s get REAL GARBC and ABWE and really seek the truth, How do I know it has NOT been done? Dr. Ketchum’s name would NOT be the only one on this blog!
Just wanted to note that the at this weeks GARBC national conference, a resolution on Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse was passed…..
http://garbcconference.org/resolution-on-protecting-children-from-sexual-abuse/
Resolution on Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse
The messengers of the General Association of Regular Baptist Churches, meeting together in regular conference June 27—July 1, 2011, in Denver, Colorado,
Believing that the Bible stresses the sanctity of human life (Gen 1:27) and the marriage bed, and that it condemns all forms of sexual promiscuity (Heb 13:4),
Affirming that the Bible also stresses the protection of and care for children, as evidenced by (1) commands to not provoke children to wrath, but to bring children up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:1–4); (2) exhortations to love children (Titus 2:4); (3) the Old and New Testament regard for orphans (Deut. 24:17–21; 26:12, 13; James 1:27); (4) the condemnation of the ancient pagan practice of child sacrifice (Lev. 20:1–7; Ezek. 16:20, 21); (5) the teaching of Scripture that children are considered a heritage from the Lord and a reward (Ps. 127:3); (6) and the model of Jesus, Who welcomed and valued little children (Matt. 18:1–5; 19:14),
Respecting the laws of the land and governmental authorities, for government can act as God’s servant for good and can bring wrath upon the wrongdoer (Rom. 13:1–4),
Distressed by a seeming rise in physical and sexual crimes against children, reaching alarming levels in our nation, and disturbed that this abuse has occurred too often in churches and homes and at the hands of family, educators, ordained ministers, and ministry workers, we
Call upon the churches of the GARBC, pastors, and people to submit to God’s standards and to practice ministry with complete integrity; to encourage religious bodies to rid their ranks of predatory ministers; to encourage civil authorities to punish to the fullest extent of the law sexual abuse among clergy; to discipline those guilty of any sexual abuse and to cooperate with civil authorities in the prosecution of those cases; and to offer support, compassion, and Biblical counseling to victims and their families,
Express a deep level of moral outrage and concern at any instance of child victimization, deploring the cover-up, ignoring, or passive condoning of abuse by any individual, church, or religious body, and urge them to change the course of their actions,
Recommend that churches have in place an effective abuse prevention policy and respond to any suspicions or allegations of child abuse in a timely and forthright manner, never retaliating against the victim,
Appeal to churches and agencies to exercise moral stewardship in the their employment practices, exercising due diligence to check the backgrounds of ministers, employees, and volunteers,
Pray for righteousness to prevail in our churches and ministries, for the repentance of the victimizer, for the healing of victims of sexual abuse plagued by possible emotional, physical, or spiritual wounds, and for the church of Jesus Christ, that it would be found “blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Phil. 2:15).
I saw this yesterday and posted a link already on this blog. I was greatly encouraged by this resolution. I especially appreciate the paragraph that says:
Express a deep level of moral outrage and concern at any instance of child victimization, deploring the cover-up, ignoring, or passive condoning of abuse by any individual, church, or religious body, and urge them to change the course of their actions,
I felt like the message of that paragraph was personal to me and my family. Thank you, GARBC!
Diana Durrill
It would be wonderful if ABWE adopted such a position and applied it to all their fields. In addition, they need to hold the nationals they support to this same standard. Unfortunately, many Bangladeshi women/girls have suffered for too long without the protections that are being proposed now by GARBC. How long, oh Lord, how long?
Tamara,
Also, there was not a word in the article about the documented fact that Loftis betrayed the MKs in 2002 (when he WAS president) by promising to launch an investigation and then failing to carry it through. Anyone who has been following this blog can see through the double-speak of ABWE.
I’ve been reading this blog tonight and all I can say is BRAVO to the ‘survivors’ for speaking out. What you have done and are doing is very painful and, I hope, also healing. I’m a PK (Preacher’s Kid) who was sexually abused by a man in my father’s church over a period of time. So I know your pain, and I know the hard work it takes to heal. What I have found that, while I wish the abuse had never happened and wonder what life would have been like had I not been abused, I WAS abused. I can be silent (and unhealthy) or I can be open (and healthy), thus helping others by sharing my story, as you are doing by sharing yours. I remember quite a few years ago thinking the best gift I could give my family and myself was to get healthy. What you are doing is a gift. . .to yourselves and to your families. Good bless.
Maryedith, thank you so much for sharing your story. This is exactly what we want to see accomplished on a personal level (in addition to GRACE getting truth and justice out on an Association level). Your story is SO important to the victims! Their personal healing is what the Lord wants for them, in the here and now.
Thanks, Maryedith, for sharing your story. For some, silence is a coping mechanism. But I, too, wonder if that’s really what health looks like. I don’t have the answers, but I do know that sometimes when a victim is beaten down they need others to speak for them, because they no longer have the strength to speak for themselves or they no longer believe they are “worthy” of justice. And I think that’s what loving an abuse survivor is about: coming alongside and helping them have a voice.
I’m really glad you have yours.
— Tamara
Sexual abuse during childhood is not a trivial matter. Here is a recent study telling us what we should already know. Some of our victims are 40 years from the events.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43594639/ns/health-health_care/
Thanks, Joe. This is why statutes of limitations should be extended to 20-plus years and beyond, but aren’t yet in a lot of states. Because sometimes it takes that long for people to be able to speak up. And things that happened even 40 years ago still matter. It should never be “too late” to seek justice.
– Tamara
These idiot “Christian” lawyers (and, yes, I do think they are idiots) have equated the impact of simply being an MK with the impact of sexual abuse. They think GRACE has mixed up the two. I ask you: Do YOU think being an MK causes the same psychological problems that stem from sexual abuse as a child?
In addition to that bit of complete ignorance and nonsense, these lawyers assert that being sent away to boarding school is no different than having a parent sent away to fight in Iraq.
Are you kidding me with this? The two situations have entirely different fears, and it’s important to note that if one parent is sent to Iraq you still have the other one! Children sent to boarding school have neither parent. Both situations are difficult, but they are not the same, especially when abuse is involved. This is not rocket science.
Would you believe some Christian institutions actually think the people who wrote this are great? It’s called “I’ll buy that logic if it saves me in a lawsuit” and it’s pathetic that Christian leaders would fall for it.
See the article: http://www.rothgerber.com/files/10368_AreProtestantMinistriesaNewMarket.pdf
Oh, and they are, for the record at the Rothgerber, Johnson & Lyons firm. Apparently a lot of Christian institutions like these people. Christian institutions who’d really like to fend off accusations of past abuse, I’m sure. Gee … I can’t imagine why: http://www.rothgerber.com
It’s called “minimize” and “shift the blame.”
Minimize the shock effect – saying it’s not any different than having a parent in the service in Iraq. Yes, it is different! With one parent in the military service, there is still one parent and a family/friend support system that remain behind to care for the child(ren). The kids live in their own house, go to their usual school, and live as a family unit. There could be some trauma and stress that are common to both groups but not all the potential issues would be common to both groups.
Just being an MK could cause some psychological problems. Being sexually abused as a child will ALWAYS cause problems in the aftermath, some physical and some psychological. Being an MK can and often does bring many exciting adventures and opportunities. Being abused brings nothing but pain and shame. How can anyone really compare the two and say they are equal?
Shift the blame – What a great idea to blame the parents for sending their kids to boarding school instead of blaming the people who cruelly abused the very children who were sent into their care and SAFE-KEEPING!
You are so right. Minimize. Shift the blame. Create a distraction.
What are some issues a typical, unabused MK might have? Hating goodbyes. Difficulty fitting in their peer group in the States if they were sheltered from peers abroad. Longing to just live in one house, never have to move again. But as you said, Watching Closely, there are many benefits: Having seen the world, experiencing another culture, etc. Being an MK does not inherently cause any psychological DAMAGE, whereas being sexually abused inherently DOES.
And comparing boarding school with having a parent in Iraq is truly an insult to intelligent, thoughtful people everywhere. Factor in the abuse and it is just bizarre to even say such a thing. But, alas, by saying these things I’m sure there are some very selfish, very heartless Christian institutions out there who will now say: Wow! That’s the law firm WE need to protect our money and our reputations.
The only question is, which Christian institutions or organizations do these lawyers currently represent? Who has bought this or is feeding its mouth with their money? Would love to see a client list.
– Tamara
Wow. Would not have thought it would be so easy to answer my own question. The client list of the authors:
http://www.rothgerber.com/showbio.aspx?Show=309 (includes list of clients — everyone from Catholic churches to Mormon ones)
http://www.rothgerber.com/showbio.aspx?Show=1227 (less of a client list and more of a bio of her)
Check out this quote. One of the authors is literally quoting himself in the paper. Here’s what he said:
Really? Catholic priests needed a health professional tell them what their morals should have? Which is: Fire the guilty priest for immorality.
The problem with this paper is that it has a few good points and then throws in GIANT doses of crazy like that one, all in an effort, I’m sure, to attract the right clients. Nussbaum, BTW, argues for very short statutes of limitations on sexual abuse and successfully kept the state of Colorado’s statutes short to protect the Catholic church by arguing that the state institutions had just as many abuse cases as the church. In other words he got a law shot down that offers the possibility of justice for victims, by exposing the fact that there were MORE victims who could benefit from it than originally thought. I have to say … brilliant that it actually worked. He must be proud.
– Tamara
As someone who is apparently (as a member of the media) part of this giant conspiracy to keep abuse allegations alive beyond their sell-by date, I am SHOCKED to hear that lawyers who have to badger and cajole on behalf of their victim clients to get any indication someone is paying attention are compensated.
Truly shocking, paying a law firm to reconstruct all that these churches and organizations hide and dilute and cover-up. I’m sure GRACE is shocked to0, what being a part of this veritable cottage industry devoted to nothing more than prying a few dollars out of the hands of these poor organizations/churches, er, PERPETRATORS.
The hypocrisy of paid lawyers mad at other paid lawyers for taking compensation fees is almost pure comedy.
– Tamara
What is touted as “servant leadership” is all too often anything but. Demagoguery, cronyism, power cliques, and politicking are rampant in Christian organizations (and churches) as are physical, emotional and spiritual abuse. The primative, apostolic church turned their world upside down and they didn’t look anything like what we see in modern Christian organizations. I stand with those who of you have finally said, “Enough”! I hope that all of you will somehow find a resolution and peace in your hearts as the GRACE investigation progresses. However, I am pessimistic about any of this leading to a cure for the above maladies. We desperately need a new radical reformation to address the root causes of these issues.
Thank you, Joe, for saying exactly what I so strongly believe and have hinted at throughout this blog! I am also pessimistic that many of our churches and “Christian” organizations can or will change their models of ministry. Unfortunately, we have exported this culture of which you speak to different mission fields around the world. Why does it take so long to address this culture of corruption? Why does it take scandal after scandal to bring these things to light? I believe that it is because the vast majority of these organizations are all about man and not about God. Whatever the intentions were of the pioneers of these ministries, it usually ends up being about man’s control. We don’t trust God enough to release things into His hands. In God we trust? I don’t think so.
The pioneer missionaries sacrificed the comforts of home, family relationships, even their very lives to carry the Gospel to remote parts of the world. For some reason we don’t see that very much any more. New missionaries seem to be more focused on support packages and retirement benefits than ever before. Where did they learn this?
You are absolutely right. In our lifetime there has been a substantial shift away from trusting God and submitting to His control to trusting in men and in man’s ability to control everything (in their minds at least). I find myself asking God where it will all end, but I have to admit I am afraid I won’t like the answer. What a shameful legacy we are leaving to future generations! We’ve turned the church and missions into a profitable business venture. Does God still have a faithful remnant?
I’ve had the BD MK’s on my mind this weekend, more than usual. I’m praying God will continue to give you strength and courage to carry on the task He has called you to undertake. Don’t be discouraged or dissuaded by the size or noise of the obstacles you face. God is in this and He will see you through.
I’m praying for the mission leaders. May God give them the courage to face the truth, tho whole truth. May He give them the courage to make the necessary changes, no matter what the apparent cost.
I’m praying that our churches and other mission agencies will go through their houses with a fine-toothed comb to clean out any type of corruption they find.
I’m praying that God will give us another chance to by used by Him to spread the Gospel to our world, while we still can . . . .
Today we celebrate Independence Day. Men and women fought and died to purchase and guard our freedom.
Jesus died and rose again to purchase and guarantee our spiritual freedom. I pray that from today forward each of you can experience a greater measure of the freedom He offers.
Praying for you, and I don’t know what else to say.
ABWE IS STILL IN THE SPIN ZONE !!!
I thought that perhaps ABWE was going to be taking a new direction…initiating a fresh start with the termination of former President Michael Loftis…sadly, it appears not to be the case.
Ron Berrus, the Chairman of the ABWE Board is quoted in a recent interview as saying, “The Loftis transition was not a result of the ongoing abuse investigation”. Note that Berrus can’t even be honest enough to use the proper term…Termination! It was the unanimous decision of the Board and one that they claim God’s leading in, but the Chairman doesn’t even have the courage to be truthful. Really Ron? We were hoping for so much more! If the termination of Loftis has nothing to do with this then inform the constituency of the true cause for termination.
The credibility of this organization is already on the ropes. I certainly hope that we won’t have to endure more spin coming from the new voice…Mr. Berrus. It appears that this kind of double talk may be apart of the culture of ABWE leadership. In addition, there seems to be a spirit of arrogance that assumes the contituency can be talked down to. It appears that a very broad house cleaning may be necessary. Where are the real leaders in ABWE? If the spin doesn’t stop the future of this organization will!
In my eyes and many others, the credibility is already gone. It’s not about saving their credibility. Now it’s down to whether or not they can be reborn as an organization. At this point, I don’t believe they’ve begun to really hit the bottom and until that happens, changes will only be superficial.
ATTENTION: If you are a former Bangladesh missionary or MK and have not already sent your current contact info to GRACE, please do so now: netgraceinfo@gmail.com
If you would rather send it to one of the MKs, you can send it to Diana (James) Durrill at durrill77@gmail.com.
Even if all you have to say is “I don’t think I have anything to contribute to the investigation” it’s important that GRACE hear your voice. (GARB or other Baptist pastors with information about the Donn Ketcham situation and any missionaries, regardless of the board, or others with information are also invited to send their contact info as well.)
Aunt Jorjan, short term MK teacher
I must add my name to those who are praying for you ladies and your families, ABWE, and for Dr. Donn. I was gone before the family of the 14 year-old came, but fondly remember so many who have spoken on the blog. My heart is burdened for all you still young women and the burdens you have carried.
I had heard rumblings, but had just become aware of the blog when my mother died and I have just gotten back to it. But my thoughts have kept returning to you BD MK women and families and this unsavory mess at headquarters in the meantime.
Has Ichabod been written over the door at ABWE? The Jews were to celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread yearly, preceded by the intensive searching out and removal of all yeast-leavening, that mildew we all knew in BD. Leaven-mold if left unchecked spreads throughout the host medium, taking over. To be rid of it required ruthless housecleaning. ABWE overseers—enough said? Anything/anyone that would hinder a clearing of the record; administrative practices that do not exemplify Godly leadership; dealings with staff, missionaries (and their families) and national Christians that cannot be scripturally defended must go. Full confession must come and forsaking of old ways must go. Then the Lord may choose to bless in a new and great way the families¸ ministries, staff, and work of evangelizing the lost. God grant the courage to do what is right in the Lord’s eyes.
The analogy is not perfect, but bears consideration.
Georgia Ann Butterfield, short term MK teacher Malumghat¸ late 1970’s.
Thank you for adding your name to the list of supporters and prayer warriors. We truly appreciate it. And the analogy is very meaningful.
You are right, though, it does indeed take courage to do the right thing. Courage for the two MKs who decided to start this blog. Courage for everyone who chose to stand up with them and say, “I believe you and support you.” Courage for ABWE to post a confession (after posting two highly erroneous statements) and say, “It is all true.” Courage for the board to post their names publicly and to hire GRACE to do an investigation. I, for one, am encouraged at the steps ABWE has taken to begin this process. It will be a long one and there are many, many more steps to take in order to make themselves accountable (in all ways) to their supporters.
BOTH the MKs and the ABWE board need to be committed to persevering in this task.
I am committed.
Diana Durrill
Still here and still praying for all. There are still people in the church circles, who are sadly misinformed or unwilling to take a clear look at this issue. (I just had a conversation with one) I’m praying now that more people within the larger body of believers would be burdened to seek the truth of the matter, no matter what.
As an advocate for truth, when God gives me the opportunities I will speak to this matter. The resounding question that keeps coming to mind is, “Should we continue in sin that God’s grace may more abound? GOD FORBID!” This is one aspect of this that truly disturbs me.
Praying for continued progress.
As a pastor in the greater metro.area of Denver, I was intrigued by the attitudes the pastors at the national conference. What suprised me was the sheer lack of undecided. Everyone had an,opinion. A good majority were outraged at the treatment of the MK’s, the heavy-handed treatment of the agency reps [ co. the girl and the field miss. to secrecy] and the incompetence of Agency since. Unfortunately, there was a sizable number who felt the Agency was not at fault and/or the MKs should not have gone public. It reminds me of the words of our Lord,” the poor-in-mind will be with us always.” In times like this I always remember the words of my dad,” your are either a missionary or a missionfield, GOD bless the missionarys!”
This preacher and his church are not undecided. With 15% of every dollar sent to ABWE missionaries going to support the organization itself and not the field work, it will be almost impossible for us to continue our relationship with ABWE as it stands if the GRACE report clearly says that they covered up this horrible situation. Also, I would have liked the GARBC to state directly their support for the ABWE MKs.
Not only should the GARBC state their support, they should also admit their failure in doing their “due diligence” in checking each agency, mission board, college and any other institution they gave their label of “an approved agency of the GARBC.”
Because of their label, individuals and churches (myself included), gave money to these immoral, sinful, deceitful organizations. If there were problems here, and since many board members are shared with many organizations once approved by the GARBC, I have a hard time believing they did a better job in any other organization, it is all about the “inner circle” a danger the GARBC had been warned about for years, now we have full evidence of the cost, how sad!
That is right, they ARE culpable! Now that I have had time to think about it, when did the GARBC ever put up a red flag to warn the churches/supporters that things were amiss in any organization.
Let’s be honestly frank, it has been the procedure of the GARBC under the cloak of “for the sake of the ministry, or the sake of Christ” let’s not speak about these things among the world.
Sad to say in the past many situations were hidden under that guise, and oh here is another one, gossiping is a sin!
When I hear that the GARBC has given money to the victims and their families, and has taken steps to make sure there is no longer an issue of the council of 18 sharing board members with other agencies, and in writing apologize for APPROVING this mission board for YEARS while this abuse was going on and being hidden, I will believe they are truly sorry for their RESPONSIBILITY in this situation.
HOW DARE any church member, Pastor or board member fault these brave ladies for doing what they did when they did not have the courage, when they did not do their due diligence, or the will to do: expose the evil!
Stating we did not know this was happening, personally I find it hard to believe that NO one knew, no Pastor, no board member, no one to stand for righteousness, I do not believe that, these ladies are light in the dark!
There will be decisions made in the future, at schools, camps, mission fields, with the thought process in mind, if I don’t act responsibly, my decision could end up on the blog! It sure won’t be because someone in authority in the GARBC waved a warning flag, did their “due diligence,” or spoke alone for the cause of righteousness!
I for one, can’t wait until I see them get their reward in Heaven, I also believe these ladies may keep children in the future from being in harms way.
I have NO doubt, my Bible clearly tells me how God feels about the abuse of children, and those that do not seek righteousness!
SHAME on anyone who would dare to continue to add pain to what they have already experienced, GOD FORBID!
Reading Dr. H.E. Marcilliot’s post (July 12) literally made my stomach turn. It was his assessment of the attitudes of many at the national conference. “Unfortunately, there was a sizable number who felt the Agency was not at fault and/or the MKs should not have gone public.” I was speaking with a friend early this morning as we fished and enjoyed the sunrise at Sahuaro Lake. We talked about the serious doctrinal problems facing the church and foreign missions. I mentioned the moral problem the mission board under which I served for about 28 years was facing by covering up just like the Roman Catholics. He replied, “Yes, and they (the RCs) are still thriving.” If it is true that a sizable number still can’t see a problem (even with the confessions of Donn Ketcham and the Board) and would rather not have the sin exposed, then they have lost their moral compass. Jesus had something to say about leaven, but He said, “a little”; Dr. Marcilliot’s assessment was, “a sizable number”.
The customer asked, “Can the the rifle be repaired?” The gunsmith replied, “Yes, but it needs a new lock, stock and barrell.” I think it’s time for a radical reformation – a new paradigm for ministry based on the apostolic church instead of the American corporation.
The New Paradigm for ministry is really an old paradigm. Let me suggest to you the following.
To avoid a situation like the one in which ABWE finds herself deeply mired in, the Apostle Paul said,
1 Thessalonians 2:3 For our exhortation did not come from error or uncleanness, nor was it in deceit. 4 But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts. 5 For neither at any time did we use flattering words, as you know, nor a cloak for covetousness–God is witness.
6 Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. 7 ¶ But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. 8 So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us.
The biblical paradigm is thus, 1) Chose today and every day to serve the Lord faithfully, 2) practice biblically transparency and honesty, 3) do not seek the glory and approval of men, 4) avoid like the plague become a man pleaser, and lastly 5) love God’s people dearly; even surrendering to them your very life for the gospel’s sake.
Thank you for that scripture passage. That was a blessing to my heart and just what the Lord used in my life in a specific way. Thank you.
I happened on a web page that gave a paragraph from Identifying a Cult by Jan Groenveld. The paragraph she quoted made me think of our situation when we tried to resign from ABWE. I emailed ABWE and submitted a recommendation that all their leadership read Identifying a Cult.
Would it be helpful to post the link to the website on here? Maybe a few of our mission boards and/or churches could benefit from the website and/or the book.
Groenveld paints with broad strokes putting almost any group that would impose standards into the cult catagory. That is not the problem. Donn Ketcham was given favored status. His immoral behaviour was excused and glossed over untill a little girl had the guts to speak up. Then she was abused so badly that it took years for her to speak up again. Then, the cover was finnally blown and under public pressure the ABWE board makes their confession.
I agree that Groenveld paints with a broad brush. However, even so there is within many mission boards a hierarchy set up that is not servant leadership and has little over sight from the local church. So, a broader scope than just this abuse and the environment that led to it.
Having just reread the Russ letters- I’m appalled on many fronts. 1st guardians were not contacted the ‘victim’ requested meeting with parents (this could have avoided some years of trauma) Also, a ‘plan’ was made to tell the guardian that she was staying with some sort of statement to take the 14 year old girl from the country. Might I add that that indicates a lie. Also, no woman accompanied them just “two men and the 14 year old girl, neither one her parent or relative in any way!” – so this abuse was very much spiritual as well as physical removal.
Cult-like protectionism even if not a cult by religious definition, but by hierarchy tyranny setup. Servant leadership would have done different. There should be a change in the structure of mission boards to make them more local- and Parents should always be notified first if possible with the TRUTH (or the guardian). Next local church and missionary should be more in contact without the interference of the mission board. They have been hired only as a help not as the authority. (This is backwards in our circles)
BTW- this is observational not an attack on the premise that the little girl had the guts to speak up, even while she was basically being spiritually abused by the system. Again we agree. Also the family basically was spiritually abused. I think the point Pamela Bennett was making is that the hierarchy was cult-like in its structure and response.
I think “amazed” said it very well. The comment about the hierarchy and structure of the way the boards work is exactly what I had in mind when I read Pamela’s post. I don’t think anyone is saying that the doctrinal stand of the mission is cult-like. What we are talking about is the way the mission (and others like it) deal with problems and any opinion that differs from their own.
I understand exactly what you are saying, Pamela. While ABWE’s doctrine might not be cult-like, some of the ways they conducted business are! How many times have I told my wife or others that leaving ABWE was like leaving a cult? It has taken me years to break free from the depression and the fear that was instilled in me by the mission culture I was a part of for so long. And for what? Trying to tell the truth about corruption and crimes that I saw in Bangladesh (and cover-up in the USA as well), things that violated my conscience! Telling the truth should not be discouraged in an organization that purports to share THE truth to the lost. The codes of silence and the culture of fear enable a big organization like ABWE to aim their big guns at the whistle-blowers and make them think they are all alone in this world with no chance of having their voices heard. The wonderful thing about this blog is that the whole world now has access to this information and it is much harder for ABWE to keep everyone silent or to attack individuals. So, am I saying that that ABWE is a cult, or that individual missionaries are part of a cult? No. However, they have a long way to go toward becoming a fully transparent organization that values the thoughts and opinions of the weakest among them, both here and overseas.
Amazed is right in my thought about the book Identifying a Cult. I did not read the book only could relate to that paragraph and I wouldn’t usually recommend something I have not read for myself but just thought that paragraph was enough for me to recommend it to ABWE. I agree with Joe Massey that standards or even rules and regulations does not institute a cult, but I guess my opinion based on our experiences with ABWE is that it is somewhat cultish.
Pamela- I think I’ve found a document that describes what you are thinking. It is called ‘Abusive Churches’ we could apply it to any christian organization.
http://www.caic.org.au/biblebase/abuse/abuse-ch.htm
Fascinating article! Thanks for including the link here. It is possible for abusive groups to not exhibit all the characteristics listed in the article, but seeing any of these displayed should cause one to evaluate and proceed with caution.
Well said Phil.
I have spent the last few days reading this blog after hearing about it through a relative. I am not a BD MK but I grew up in a large GARB church and the names Olsen, Ebersole, Eaton and yes Ketcham were the heroes held up for me to emulate. All of these people spoke in my church at one time or another and my parents hosted some of them for meals. I was one of those kids who were admonished “before eatin pray for the Eatons”. Their prayer cards were all taped to my parent’s refrigerator. Memorial Christian Hospital was a great light on a hill that we all supported with our prayers and our money. My pastor was on the board of ABWE for two decades and so whichever two decades you pick he HAD to know what was going on. Sadly I have had to revise many of those memories over the last few days. I won’t say that I feel betrayed because what I feel is nothing compared to what the dear ladies who started this blog must feel.
I guess I want to make to helpful comments. First, the GARB and by extension AWBE was a very hierarchal power sensitive male dominated organization. I had opportunity to work closely with my pastor and without getting into details; it would not surprise me at all to learn that he was part of the cover up. So the culture of cover up and denial is not a myth. It is real.
Second, after reading this blog I had to pull out my old copy of DAKTAR. I notice that Olsen is rarely mentioned on this blog and I am sure you have your reasons, but reading DAKTAR with new eyes I offer the following observations. I am sure you all know these stories and have more details than I do but these are what struck me.
On p. 97 Olsen recounts his meeting with Ketcham for the first time. He describes him as a “budding surgeon and also an ordained minister” . According to DK later confession, he had already participated in sexual sin. At the same time DK is able to share with Olsen a moving story of how he and Kitty ended up in Bangladesh instead of Africa. His ability to compartmentalize is already incredible.
On p. 180 Olsen tells the story of a missionary wife who had an emotional breakdown. The way Olsen writes it there was great care and prayers offered for this woman. Why were emotional breakdowns seen as legitimate reasons for prayer and not sexual abuse?
p. 196 Ketcham is in charge during Olsen’s furlough. P. 215 Ketcham leaves for a two year furlough. Why a two year furlough?
P. 228-9 A national named Ajit is confronted by Olsen for his unchristian behavior. Olsen says, “you know we have come halfway around the world to help people in Christ’s name and tell him of Him. You, the son of a minister, by your fight have hurt the reputation of the Lord and the Hospital. You should be very ashamed”. These words haunted me. Could these very words have been said to DK (change fight to sexual abuse) SOMETIME? Shouldn’t DK be held to at least the same standard as a national? If a national can hurt the reputation of the hospital, imagine the damage of one of its leading doctors? Now we know.
I could go on, I guess what I am trying to say is if I can put some of the dots together just from reading DAKTAR, HOW IN THE WORLD COULD THE BOARD OF ABWE MISS IT????
I don’t know if this has been an encouragement to you. I hope so. Even good books narrating God’s work have been sullied.
Re: Ex-GARBC,
My mother, Jeanette Lockerbie, is the co-author of Daktar 1, which was published in 1973. [The Lockerbies had known Olsens for many years. My father baptized them.] Daktar was not intended to be a biography of every missionary connected with the Olsen/MCH story, so the writers did not delve into each person’s life. The idea of my mother asking DK about his sex life is ludicrous. How many readers of this blog —whether in Christian service or not—have ever been asked about their sex life—now, or in the past— at a job interview? The thought that any potential missionary would have such things in his background was beyond our imagination at that time. Before going to East Pakistan, I was an emergency room nurse in Brooklyn, New York, but I would not have known what a pedophile was, had I ever heard the word. Criticizing the Daktar writers is out of place.
The statement about the missionary wife was hurtful. Who is this writer to sully what is a precious memory to those of us who were there? I was with the children constantly on that day of prayer and fasting for a much beloved “Auntie.” The children were confidant God would heal her so she wouldn’t have to leave at that time. And God did. Why did we have a day of prayer for this woman—because we knew her situation. Why did we not have special prayer for the abuse victims or perpetrators? We did not know anything about it.
[PARAGRAPH REMOVED BY MODERATORS]
Those of you who know me, know I would have fought like a tigress to protect any of “my kids,” IF we had known. Easy enough all these years later to say that this person or that one would have, should have, “had to have known,” about the abuse. It was a different era. As we’ve said before, and have been faulted for, such matters simply were not discussed. Read Ephesians 5:3-5 especially, “Let it not even be named among you as fitting for saints.”
I have sent information to Grace and given permission to contact me if they care to. Can’t we please leave the GARBC and 40-year-old books, etc. out of the discussion and spend our time and energy in PRAYING FOR GRACE—in every sense of that phrase?
Jeannie Lockerbie Stephenson
Written from The Gambia, West Africa
I read the comments on Daktar and came nowhere near the same conclusions you come to here. I recently skimmed through both Daktars and On Duty in Bangladesh in early June searching for names of missionaries and their children that either I didn’t know or that I had forgotten about. As I read through them I was amazed at the amount of (to use your own words) “coverage” Donn Ketcham gets when we now KNOW that his behavior had been questioned and even confronted by his coworkers during those years.
The post by “Ex-GARB” is simply an observation that all of us – yes, including myself – are heartbroken to know and learn that the great mission work in Bangladesh, lifted up and promoted by ABWE as one of their most effective and vibrant ministries with some of their most well-known and publicized missionaries, was not at all what it was portrayed to be. There was terrific sin in the camp, personality conflicts, a coming-and-going of a truly amazing number of missionaries who never “made it” on the field. I’m not going to lie – even as an MK of Bangladesh and with all of my wonderful memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world – knowing what we all know now but that others of you knew or were suspicious of back then, we feel deceived and betrayed. I know that will hurt many of you, but it is the truth.
Yes, we need grace and we need GRACE.
Joe, thanks for your comments we appreciated and needed to hear them.
AWESOME letter, PTL, prayers are being answered, dots are being connected which means the light is exposing the darkness!
Still praying, more needs to be revealed!
By the way, I imagine every GARB church had that book in the church library if not in their own homes. Every child at a GARB camp in that era had heard one or both speakers.
Shine light shine!
As the GRACE investigation and this blog continues more information will surface about Donn Ketcham’s pedophilia and ABWE’s failure to honestly and openly report the crimes and properly minister to the victims and their families. Let’s never lose our focus on these issues.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Ps 34:18
Little children were violated and justice was withheld. That is and should remain the focus.
Thank you amazed for that link, you are right in what I am trying to convey, my heart is so heavy with this whole saga. I know how ABWE treated my husband and now I know how they treated a 14 year old girl and Phil Walsh and others as well. We had heard about Phil Walsh but didn’t know the whole story. I repeat myself in saying many made the comment to us that ABWE treated us for just wanting out worse than they did Dr. Donn Ketcham. We were led to believe he committed adultery and we assumed with a national. It just makes me wonder why they would try to sully the reputation of good men but protect an adulterer and pedophile. It is bad enough how ABWE treats adults but I just can’t get out of my mind how they could possibly treat a 14 year old girl with almost contempt is the way I see it.
I think that as long as Donn is alive and of sound mind, he should be confronted by ABWE regarding all that they now know. Maybe they should consider doing this with his wife and family present. Sometimes it takes written proof for them to see to believe.
SOME AT ABWE NEED TO FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF THE CATHOLIC!!!
I noticed in the news today the the Archbishop of the Philadelphia archdiosese decided to step down due to accusations that he concealed the sexual abuse of children. This story inside the Roman Catholic church has evolved from a focus on those who comitted the crimes against these innocent children to those who were party on covering the atrocities.
This is, of course, the primary focus of the scandal at ABWE. While we are certainly outraged by the heinous actions of DK…we all understand that any one person is capable on incredibly atrociuos acts against other people. What outrages us even more is that a number of Chritian “leaders” took part in a cover up for their own political purposes. This, to me, is the truly great OFFENSE!
I want to restate a position that is on record earlier in this blog. Russ Ebersole and Don Davis should both immediately STEP DOWN from their positions at ABWE. These men, each in their own way, have grossly mishandled and their responsibilities and were party in misrepresenting and concealing the truth. These two need to act like men…follow the lead of the Archbishop and STEP DOWN!!!
Saw this today and thought of this group – It was part of a post at:http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/the-real-damage-done-in-abuse/#respond
If no one remembers a misdeed or names it publically, it remains invisible. To the observer, its victim is not a victim and its perpetrator is not a perpetrator; both are misperceived because the suffering of the one and the violence of the other go unseen. A double injustice occurs—the first when the original deed is done and the second when it disappears.
To the authors of DAKTAR, I want to say that I was not criticizing you or anyone one the field, especially Dr. Olsen. By the book being sullied, I meant that now there is a stain on what otherwise is a wonderful testimony to what God did in Bangladesh. I don’t read the book as a cover up; I just read it with new eyes. I believe you that most had no idea what was going on. However, if during the time of DAKTAR I and DAKTAR II, DK was being confronted privately and nurses were being sent home and girls were being encouraged to not talk (all things mentioned on this blog), then SOMEBODY had to know. And with my experience with the GARB, I was not surprised with their culture of cover up. I grew up admiring those at Memorial Christian Hospital and with only a few exceptions (DK and some in the ABWE leadership), I admire them even more today, especially the women who are now grown with their own children and are finally facing this. I feel sad for the 14 year old and all the nurses who were sent home or redeployed through no fault of their own. I apologize if I have sounded like I am disrespecting your book. In my rereading of both books I have been blessed again by the amazing work God did in Bangladesh in spite of the wolf in the sheepfold.
I agree with you that somebody HAD to know and we do ourselves no favors by denying that truth. I am weary of the “we didn’t know” or “it was a different era” conversations because this type of sin (adultery, pedophilia, deceit, etc.) is an age-old problem. They are only fooling themselves. So we didn’t call it “pedophilia”….we know that God has always hated all forms of sexual sin. I am not buying the excuses any more. There are missionaries who have testified on this blog that they KNEW as far back as the 70’s and some before that. Maybe they didn’t know about the pedophilia but they KNEW he had compromised his reputation and marriage to one degree or another. GOD HATES SEXUAL SIN. We should, too. We should not turn a blind eye or make excuses.
You can re-read many of the missionaries posts and realize that they admit to knowing more and not doing or saying something. Or you will see the regret at not objecting to the code of silence placed upon them. I have taken the last 2 hours to peruse the comments on the blog. My heart is broken again as I read through the comments and relive the pain of many of them. Yes, hindsight is 20/20 but there is a lot to be said for having a discerning spirit. Had the missionaries been alert to the Holy Spirit’s prompting that something was amiss all those years ago (in the suspicions raised with every inappropriate act agains missionary women in early years, the highly questionable medical exam procedures, or the code of silence placed upon them) there could have been much heartache avoided. I do not believe that He was not alive and well, providing warning signs and waving big, red flags along the way. Rather, there is no doubt in my mind that some made conscious decisions to look the other way.
Here is a sampling of comments I found in a not-so-quick review of the main thread:
“What is there about truth, that when people don’t like it, they call it gossip? This is not gossip. This should have been talked about 20+ years ago. It would have been had we not been told to “not talk about it”. Which at the time did not settle well with me. Now we face the reality that you can not cover up the truth forever, it must come out for those who have been hurt….so they can heal.” – Aunt Lynn, March 27
“It is kind of amazing that we were never asked by the mission if we had any knowledge or observations about Donn’s behavior or any incidents to report.” – Aunt Barb B., March 18
“Facts: The girl’s parents were away. I had responsibility for her. The girl was sick that day. I went out for a time. The doctor came and examined her with no other person present in the room or in the back half of the house. The doctor left. I returned. The girl was distraught immediately after the doctor left. She cried for some time, being difficult to calm down.” – Aunt Barb B., March 20
“The facts are facts and they are stubborn ones. A serial womanizer engaged in serial immoral affairs became active in serial sexual abuse of minor girls. ABWE knew of the former, but allowed him to remain on the field. When the tip of the iceberg showed on the latter situation, they finally removed him, but failed to follow expulsion with a thorough investigation to see if there were other abuses. They also failed to advise him to report himself to the legal authorities and did not report him themselves.” – William D. Barrick, March 23
“…with all due respect, 20-30 years ago something DID happen.And in 1989 something happened. And throughout years BEFORE that “things” happened.” – Cheryl P., March 30
“I don’t remember any specific abuse to myself by him except the fact that I have recurring nightmares that have been going on for decades. We all saw the flirtatious way he was with women and the rides on the back of his motorcycle. I remember the “physicals” that we had and they usually required us to remove our underwear . I have 6 kids and have never gone to a pediatrician where the kids had to remove their underwear, have an interal exam or breast exam when they were under the age of 13. Alot of this is documented in the hospital charts which were written by himself.” – Diane Walsh Ford, March 26
“I know it was a generation thing for us to keep quiet; not to hurt someone’s reputation; not to harm the ministry. We didn’t want anyone thinking bad of our daughters. If you didn’t say anything, it would go away……..Maybe that’s why we tried to ignore this ugly thing going on in our midst! I don’t know. What a mess! I’m trying to understand it. Of course, we didn’t know how many were affected. DK had a way of pulling off his abuse almost in front of your eyes, which somehow took away some of his guilt perhaps-after all, you saw what he was doing and didn’t say anything . Example: examining the girls in presence of the mother like Sue James mentioned. That also happened with our oldest daughter. He was already preparing to give her physical when I came into the exam room-no nurse present. I also remember the breast exam, he says”it’s never too young to learn to self-exam for lumps, etc.”-I think she was 15 or 16. There were other things, too. She was part of the 2002 group. I just want to ask forgiveness from you girls for not pursuing, investigating, or whatever was necessary. We knew there was a problem with his relationship with some of the missionary women.” – Aunt Barb & Uncle Bob Adolph, March 29
“I truly am sorry anyone would think it was in anyway a defense of Donn Ketchum because I am not a defender of him, his actions or of the missteps that have occurred in handling this over the entire time from the first reports in the 70’s to now.” – Tony Beckett, March 29
“However, your aunts and uncles were wary of the doctor’s defrauding ways with adult women, especially the single ladies. We know of several times the doctor was confronted about his flirtatious ways. Midway through our 14 years I personally addressed this issue with Donn while he was recovering from his heart attack in the USA (1974). But, alas, we only suspected “inappropriate behavior” for a Christian gentleman at that time.” – Uncle Jess & Aunt Joyce Eaton, March 29
“We wanted to scream but the chain of “SILENCE” (don’t talk about it) tightened around our throats and mouths. The chain of “NOT YOUR BUSINESS” handcuffed us, and the chain of “FEARS” (of being guilty of gossip and of damaging the name of Christ) was the final gag.” – Jack and Margaret Archibald, March 30
“Concerns regarding Donn Ketcham’s repeated inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex on the field could have resulted in his termination as early as 1975, but continued indiscretions should have resulted in dismissal no later than 1985. Regrettably, we did not terminate him as a missionary but rather gave repeated opportunities for counseling and remediation which allowed him time and opportunity to sin against you. Please, please forgive us.” – ABWE Board, March 31
“We could have known more if we hadn’t been put under—and abided by—the insistence on silence that Russ Lloyd imposed on us. If only one of us had stood in that SGR 1 living room on that July 23, 1989 afternoon, and said, “We will NOT be silent. We must get to the truth in all of this.” But no one did, and for that I apologize and ask your forgiveness.” – Jeannie Lockerbie Stephenson, April 2
So you see, I find it indefensible that NOONE knew. Ex-GARB – you are absolutely right:
SOMEBODY HAD TO KNOW.
I keep telling myself to just read and don’t write but…………………..I can hardly see why anything should be left out that has a connection with this sinful saga, whether it be the GARBC or whether it be a book which some want to say is irrelevant to this sad state of affairs. This is about the life of a 14 year old girl.
Several of us who are “blogging” have brought up the need of examining organizational structures and attitudes which allowed statutory rape and molestation to go unreported to civil authorities and the child victim to be blamed and denigrated. Here is an example from K.P.Yohannan.
How important really is this brokenness for our service in God’s kingdom? Could we somehow get by without it? A.W. Tozer once said that he doubted seriously if God could ever use a man until He had broken him thoroughly and empowered him.
I once received a phone call from some of Gospel for Asia’s leaders in India. A very well-known, highly educated man had showed an interest in teaching at our seminary. These leaders wanted to know what I thought about it. I simply said to our leadership: “As far as academics are concerned, he would be one of the greatest assets we could have in our school. We could not find a more intellectual man or one so incredibly gifted and able to communicate. However, his coming would be dangerous and disastrous for our institution. The reason is simply this: you know as much as I do that this man is not broken. He is so self-sufficient, strong and sure of himself. If there is an argument, he always wins. In a group, he acts important so he will be noticed.
“He has been to many places, but he’s never remained anywhere. It’s not because he’s not able; it’s due to his lack of humility. Even if he gave us thousands of dollars and begged us to allow him to teach, I would never allow it. If he were at the seminary, he would produce unbroken, stubborn students just like himself. God is not looking for able people, but for broken people.”
Above all else, God’s greatest concern is our brokenness. Just like our potential professor, we will only reproduce what we are ourselves. And only in the same measure in which we allow ourselves to be broken can we experience resurrection life and rivers of living waters flowing unhindered from our innermost being.
In the work of the Lord, the need to fill a position is often so great that we end up searching for someone with matching gifts and abilities but ignore their unbroken condition. What are some of the clear signs of unbroken people?
• They focus on the failures of others.
• They must be in control of their situation.
• They exhibit a self-protective spirit, guarding their time, rights and reputation. They will not allow anyone to walk into their private world.
• They are driven to be recognized and appreciated. They will do anything, even spiritually, to find that appreciation from others.
• They are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked. They feel confident in how much they know and feel the organization they work with is privileged to have them on staff. They are quick to blame others and become defensive when criticized.
• They work hard to maintain their image and protect their reputation. Consequently, they find it very difficult to share their real spiritual need with others. They try to make sure no one finds out about their secret sins.
• They have a hard time saying, “I was wrong; I sinned. Would you please forgive me?”
• They compare themselves with others and feel deserving of honor. They are blind to their own heart’s true condition.
• They don’t see any need for repentance . . . and the list goes on.
When you read this list, do you find yourself in it? By our human nature, all of us are unbroken. Our usefulness to God and our ability to reflect His likeness are directly linked to our giving Him permission to break us and our willingness to yield to God’s work rather than resist it.
Take some time to open your heart before the Lord. Allow Him to shed His light on areas of your life in which you have refused His work of brokenness. Instead of fearing loss and pain, you can rejoice that God is making you more like Himself. His life can now flow through you, bringing many to His kingdom.
Rivers of living water will not flow out of us unless the earthen vessel is broken.
Reflecting His Image © 1998, 2004 by K.P. Yohannan
http://www.gospelforasia-books.org
In Reply to Joe Massey,
Thank you, Joe, for the article you shared about brokenness from K.P. Yohannan. It really touched me and ministered to me this morning. Sometimes I feel like I am too “broken” for God to use, and yet God says just the opposite. I was very encouraged. Thank you also for your faithful support of us here on the blog. That also means a lot.
Susannah Beals Baker
It’s the timing that’s confusing the Daktar 1 issue. (My mother had nothing to do with Daktar 2) Daktar 1 was written in 1972. Apart from the Adolphs and me, few—if any—of the people whom you quote had even arrived in East Pakistan/Bangladesh yet, so they knew nothing in 1972. You mention that you “are weary of the ‘we didn’t know’…” Without rancor, I say that I am weary of people who were not there telling people who were, what they knew or should have known. It was at the 1989 meeting, that I—and others from Chittagong at least—first learned what had been happening for years. You even quoted my sincere apology that I didn’t react strongly when I heard the news. I sat next to your parents at that meeting and was the first to speak to your dad. I clearly remember what I said, but as it does not relate to the Daktar issue, I won’t repeat it here. I will say, however, that your parents were/are dearly loved. Your dad was unquestionably the most important member of the MCH team. I well recall early-day surgeries where the doctors wore miners’ lamps on their foreheads, or had to stop the surgery to go fix a generator. Your mother’s contribution was also outstanding at the Guest House, Heart House, and other ministries. My heart aches for them and for each of their daughters.
I don’t mean to beat a dead horse and I am confident that when GRACE releases their findings, the story will become even more heartbreaking and we will find that many people knew. But as others have done, it is not hard to put the dots together now.
First, from DK confession, he committed adultery in med school, internship and residency. According to this blog he was caught at least once. So there are several people who know about that.
Then when he arrives on the mission field, if DK was confronted and required to get counseling during this time, those confronting him knew, and those from whom he obtained counseling knew.
If nurses were sent home or redeployed, someone had to make that decision. Whoever made that decision knew.
Whoever instructed everyone to keep quiet knew.
Then add the situation of the 14 year old which brought in the Russes. If they did not already know, they certainly knew then and mishandled it.
When DK was finally sent home, the board of ABWE must have known. If they just thought it was adultery, either they were lied to by the Russes or they knew a 14 year old girl had been violated and chose to pretend otherwise.
I am not saying everyone knew, obviously many did not (and they should not feel bad now). But a lot of people DID know and turned the other way at best or perpetrated a huge misinformation campaign at worst.
Again, I am confident this will all come out with the GRACE report.
I’ve noticed a few things in the months of visiting here: there is a cycle. 1. New questions are raised, 2. Immediate reaction to the questions is hurt/anger/denial/it can’t be true, 3. Review reveals it is in fact true, 3. Support is given and prayer is promised, and 4. God is glorified.
This always seems to be a painful process, but it is a necessary one. So again, I promise my prayers and pledge my support, until all the truth is known and beyond.
I posted this elsewhere, but I’m really grateful that Diana put the list together of things that have been said on this blog. I’m really grateful Diana took the time to do this, because I think it’s important to hear the words of these missionaries again. It is not an indictment of them, but rather proof that clues were there all along. Had people been able to see the big picture, had people listened to their gut, had people not obeyed the gag order, had people insisted he go when there were clues time and time again that he was not a moral man … things would be so different today.
It cannot be ignored. It’s the elephant in the room.
I wasn’t in the Bangladesh in the 70s, but I was in the 80s and a LOT of missionaries kept quiet about Ketcham’s infidelity then in 1985, despite the fact that one of his own children is the one who threw up the red flag on his behavior. Had people stood up to ABWE and said, “His own daughter says he’s guilty of something, send the man home,” then even more of his young victims would have been spared.
I understand it was hard to wrap their brains around. I understand that it was those at the home office who said who stayed and who had to go. But really? People are going to DEFEND the lack of action at times we KNOW people knew?
The only right thing to do in this situation at this point in time if you were one of those missionaries who kept their mouths shut is to say you are sorry you did, and MANY already have and I thank them for their courage and humility.
I have missed some of the updates so please forgive me if this has already been asked and answered. Has the GRACE investigation begun the process of interviewing victims? Is there any indication how long this may take?
I live in West Michigan and continue to be puzzled by the lack of comment from the Ketcham family – either DK, his wife, or his children. When I read that his daughter was aware of problems, and now heads a ministry for women at risk, I have more questions than answers. Does anyone know if DK or his family have talked with GRACE yet? Again, I am puzzled by the lack of a confession or apology now that this blog has brought what was hidden into the light.
Please know I continue to stand with you in prayer, asking God for justice on behalf of all the victims. I truly am sickened by all that you women and your families have endured.
“Evil never surrenders its grasp without a tremendous fight. We never arrive at any spiritual inheritance through the enjoyment of a picnic, but always through the fierce conflicts of the battlefield.” (John Henry Jowett)
May God Himself refresh your weary hearts as you continue the fight.
Hi, Laura. Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. The GRACE investigation has begun, but may take a very long time. (A year or even longer.) Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
— Tamara
When I hear people question whether Jeannie Lockerbie or Vic Olsen provided DK cover in their writings, I am reminded all over again that the “Big Dogs” have made no confession to this community. We must not succumb in frustration to the temptation to pick on any target in the weary search for justice when the four most obvious candidates are hiding in plain sight. Donn Ketcham, Russ Lloyd, Russ Ebersole, and Michael Loftis all have various things to confess as to how they blew it. Four months have rolled by and we have not heard ONE WORD from any of them as to how they have damaged this community and the principals (the victims). It took the ABWE board only a few days to publish a satisfactory confession, although it is a large board scattered all over the country. I am supposed to assume that Lloyd, Ebersole and Loftis are all good men. Why is it taking them so long to apologize?
Maybe they fear the legal system more than trusting God.
Their lack of PUBLIC remorse is indicative of their guilt (or fear of legal ramifications) and a total lack of humility.
It takes a big person, a great person to say publicly that they messed up in this matter whether their role was tiny and naive or large and knowingly evil.
— Tamara
I decided to get back into Aaron Lazare’s book “On Apology” (and finish reading something for once!) and I found something of an answer to my own question within minutes.
On page 177 he writes “If a meaningful relationship is to have any chance of being restored following a serious personal offense, the apology must be a complex process conducted over time.”
I would love to believe that these key players in the hurts that these women have received are even now plumbing the depths of the pain they caused and preparing a campaign of making it right by them. Why should I, as an interested third party, intrude on something so important and personal? How can I demand immediacy when a lengthy process is what is called for?
But we have a “catch-22,” for this situation is not only a serious personal offense, but also a public offense in which large numbers were offended in a public way. Different rules apply here, according to Lazare. He states on page 178, “In such cases, the public will demand an unambiguous apology as soon as the offense becomes known. Any delays or “hedging” will be met with suspicion and increasing pressure to ‘come clean.'”
I would love to believe that these key leaders are giving all speed and diligence to restoring people’s faith in their good offices and those of the organization they serve by making a satisfactory apology. Unfortunately we have clear evidence to the contrary.
How all the great spiritual leaders on the board of ABWE can miss that they are destroying themselves by trying to protect themselves is beyond me. In the dismissing of Michael Loftis it’s back to business as usual for ABWE. The explanation on the ABWE website is painfully obvious for what it is trying not to say: Michael Loftis blew it in his handling of the knowledge that Donn Ketcham was a pedophile and his handling of the abused MKs. There is nothing wrong with all the nice things they said about his service with ABWE. However, when they say the decision was “not rushed or due to any outside pressure” they are trying to give the impression that it had nothing to do with the DK and MK scandal AND THAT’S A LIE. I admit, I wasn’t there, so I cannot positively say it is a lie. But it is a lie to the 90% of us who are not under the “ABWE spell.” C’mon! Do you think we are fools? Does this organization require slavish belief in the leaders, who, like the North Korean dictator can tell their followers anything? If so, ABWE hasn’t missed a beat in the style of this leadership transition.
I’ll tell you what would have begun to restore my confidence in ABWE. Instead of the lie (“not rushed or due to any outside pressure”), they could have said, “In spite of 10 years of outstanding leadership, Dr. Loftis’ leadership was so damaged by the mishandling of the Donn Ketcham pedophilia information and MK victims, that we felt compelled to seek new leadership. This communique is a signal to all our supporters that ABWE is embarking on a new era of transparency.”
I really appreciated this quote from that book, Dave: ‘Any delays or “hedging” will be met with suspicion.’
Public apologies signed by these men are what is called for, but we still wait for those.
— Tamara
Dave DeCook, I understand and agree with your exasperation that we have not heard from the “Big Dogs.” We have, in fact, heard from former CEO Loftis in the past 4 months. Unfortunately what we heard was a thinly-veiled defensiveness, self-justification, and the kind of pride that surely led to his leadership demise. In his letter to the ABWE missionaries, then CEO Loftis wrote, “In 2002, at an MK retreat, Jo Beth and I were approached by several young women who shared their suspicions of abuse by Donn Ketcham. ABWE immediately offered to help these women, including providing financial assistance for counseling and other personal needs. I also made a request for an investigation into the matter. While nothing can wipe away what happened to these women, some women from the 2002 retreat have recently shared that they appreciated the counseling they received, funded by ABWE, and as a result have experienced healing in their lives.”
Incredibly, the only “apology” Mr. Loftis has offered was wrapped in the skirts of the ABWE Administration and ABWE Board, many of whom were unaware of the information Loftis has held for the past 9 years! No wonder the Board dismissed him. Its members were apparently called upon to issue an apology for what they didn’t know. And he who KNEW has felt no compulsion to offer a personal apology.
Is there any doubt in anyone’s mind as to the motives behind the reluctance and unwillingness of those directly involved in this cover up to respond? These individuals are covering their own butts and desperately looking for a way out while saving their image. Their actions speak louder than any apologies at this point ever will. They would say that they’re concerned about the image and work of God so this all has to be handled very delicately. I say BULL! God doesn’t need you to accomplish His work or to protect His image. He freaking allowed you to create this mess and if He were that worried about His image, He would have stopped it dead a long time ago. He wants to use you in spite of yourselves. So, if you really believe any of what you claim, time for you to start living it and acting on it. Otherwise, it’s painfully obvious as to what’s really important to you. I for one, wouldn’t give you a dime of support until that happens. Nor would I encourage any one to have anything to do with you.
If you are working for ABWE, my question is…why are you still there? The moral failure of your leadership undermines and nullifies their stated purpose. “Well, it has nothing to do with me and I’m not involved.” Really? That might be true if the leadership had changed and corrective steps had already been made. But, that’s not the case. If you think for a minute that the sin and horrible mis-judgment from then doesn’t influence the current activities and direction, you’re sadly mistaken and don’t understand what sin does. You don’t need ABWE to be a missionary. You don’t keep eating from the edge of a piece of meat when you know the center is rotting and diseased. Or, maybe you do. I suppose with enough A-1, you can cover most anything…
Bottom line is, the only thing that is going to really get ABWE’s attention is money or rather, the lack thereof. Money fuels what they do and they’ll continue to call the shots until it runs out. You want to support a missionary? Then send the money directly to them, set up an account they can draw from, whatever.
It’s time for people to quit being shocked by what’s happened and to take action. You don’t give a drunk a drink so quit feeding these ego’s who grudgingly admit there might be a problem but gladly take your money.
On Easter Sunday I saw at my brother Dan’s house the book “On Apology” by Aaron Lazare (Oxford University Press, 2004). Procuring a copy and digesting it, I have found it extremely insightful and applicable to the offenses of this great scandal. Allow me to illustrate from the basic ideas of this fine monograph.
On page 9 he states, “With a pseudo-apology, the offender is trying to reap the benefits of apologizing without having actually earned them. People who offer a pseudo-apology are unwilling to take the steps necessary for a genuine apology; that is, they do not acknowledge the offense adequately, or express genuine remorse, or offer appropriate reparations, including a commitment to make changes in the future. These three actions are the price of an effective apology. To undertake them requires honesty, generosity, humility, commitment, courage and sacrifice. In other words, the rewards of an effective apology can only be earned. They cannot be stolen.”
Applying this to the current scandal, the only apology we have to go on is the board/administration confession of March 30 (http://www.abwe.org/news/article/abwe-board-and-administration-confession/). I think we would have to give it pretty high marks for acknowledging the offenses and expressing genuine remorse. However, it offers no reparations or commitment to changes. This pretty much invalidates the first two, no matter how eloquent (and encouraging) they sounded at the time. Now that nearly four months have elapsed, I would have to say this was a sham apology, trying to steal the rewards of an effective apology.
What parts of Lazare’s formula does ABWE lack? This blog has revealed yawning chasms in regard to honesty, generosity, humility, commitment, courage and sacrifice. Take your pick. Making things right is still pretty far down the list of priorities. Maybe it is a notch or two higher than it was in 2002-2003 when Loftis first blew off the MK report, but ABWE leadership continues the attitude: Your issues don’t effect us. Even dismissing Loftis had nothing to do with your issues.
Now nobody who really cares about a relationship needs a formula to make it work. You don’t even need to read or agree with Lazare’s book. Just ask yourself, “Is it working?” “Do the MKs feel drawn closer to a repentant ABWE or do they feel stiff-armed by a resentful ABWE?” Do you hear expressions of thankfulness from ABWE leaders that a group of Christians is helping to clean house rather than bloodthirsty secular media? Nope. I’m still not feeling the love.
In Reply to Dave DeCook,
Thank you Dave, for your continued support of us here on the blog and for your many thought provoking contributions. I must say that I am still hoping that the apology from the board/administration was not a sham, but admit at the same time that I am not as you say” feeling the love”. Thank you for your recommendation of Lazare’s book. It seems there are more books out there on forgiveness than apology and what true repentance looks like. I hope that one of the outcomes of the blog and current investigation are that we will see what true individual and corporate repentance look like.
Susannah Beals Baker
A final quote from Aaron Lazare is sure to stir up those who would lecture the victims to “forgive as the Lord forgave.” But it summarizes his very helpful book so well, I will go ahead and risk more spiritual abuse from spiritual leaders.
On page 242 he says, “Why do we demand an apology or repentance before we offer forgiveness? The fundamental reason for this demand is that the apology meets the psychological needs of the offended party. It restores the damage that was done. It heals a wound that will not heal spontaneously. As we saw in chapter 3, the apology restores the dignity of the offended party, assures that both parties share the same value system, assures the safety of the offended party, assures the offended party that the offender has suffered, as well as meets several other needs. When these needs are met, the offended party does not have to will him or herself to forgive. The forgiveness comes spontaneously and effortlessly. There is a sudden letting go of the anger, the grudge, and the vengeance. There is often an instant rush of sympathetic and positive feelings toward the offender in response to what is commonly regarded as the gift of the apology.”
I highly recommend the book “On Apology” by Aaron Lazare (Oxford University Press, 2004) to everyone on the blog. It is very reasonable and very humane. It is full of real-life stories that illustrate his points. It can be had new or used from Amazon for under $10. Those that want better relationships will profit by it. Those that just want to be right won’t need it.
Dave, per your recommendation, I did buy the book. It was extremely helpful to me. It taught me that I don’t need to feel guilty for not forgiving someone who purposely hurt us and refuses to apologize. By everyone demanding forgiveness of the arrogant perpetrator, I was being victimized twice. Hopefully, the day will come when a sincere apology is issued and I will instantly and joyfully accept and forgive.
For the past few years, I have been meeting with a young woman who wants to know more about the characters in the Bible and how God worked in and through them. Currently we are studying the life of Paul using a study written by Chuck Swindoll. As I worked on my study today, the creators and moderators of this blog came to mind.
In speaking of Paul, Swindoll quoted Webster as he defined a “hero”: ‘a person admired for achievements and noble qualities: one who shows great courage’. Swindoll added his own definition – “someone who stands tall when others shrink back, someone who swims upstream while the majority of people go with the current, someone who speaks up for what’s right as others look away, sitting silently on the sidelines.”
He also shared 3 things that seem to fit a pattern with heroes:
“First, there’s something wrong on the cultural scene. There exists some sort of outside threat that must be challenged.
Second, there’s a principle at stake. The closer you examine the situation, the clearer the principle. A fundamental value or belief is at stake.
Third, there’s an element of risk involved for taking heroic measures. Besides the physical peril, the risk of being misunderstood, misrepresented, maligned. or mistreated is real. To do nothing,, however, makes matters worse. Doing something heroic and risky usually means acting alone.”
Two other observations he made:
“First, heroes don’t seem like heroes at the time they act. Accolades for heroic deeds are typically deferred. Some who stood tall were unappreciated at the time for where they stood and for what they accomplished. Time alone revealed the true significance of their deeds.
Second, heroism is not genetic. No one gives birth to a hero. Heroes are forged through time. Often those who overcome the most become heroes of their time.”
As I read through that, I couldn’t help but think of you, the creators and moderators of this blog. What you have done is truly heroic and only God knows the outcome of what will be accomplished through your actions. And may I commend you on your patience and godly tone with those of us who are participating with you in this arena.
Thankfully you are not acting alone. You are loved and supported by many. Uncle Steve and I continue to wait with you to see how this situation will be resolved as the investigation goes forward.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. There are so many who prefer for the truth to be silenced. They prefer the lies, the facades. God can see past all that and when we do too… God help us- It’s horrifying. We covet your prayers.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I was part of the ABWE family from 1970 until 1979 when I was forced to resign. Unlike DK, I receive no retirement, having missed out by nine months. I am fully behind you in your continued efforts to see that the leadership of this troubled beleaguered organization come clean and straighten up their house. For years I have tried to deal with the lies and deceit that came my way from the high echelon of administrators, and the advisory board. Of course, none of you know my situation, but truthfully, there was no cause for depriving me from spending a missionary career in Colombia. On the other hand, a sinful adulterous doctor was not terminated early in his missionary career.
The thing that surprises me the most about this whole sordid tale is the relatively few who have responded when you consider the 10’s if not 100’s of thousands who have been negatively effected through their association with ABWE, GARBC, Independent Baptists, supporting churches and national believers on the fields where ABWE has served.
The thing that surprises me the most about this whole sordid tale is the relatively few who have responded when you consider the 10’s if not 100’s of thousands who have been nagatively effected through their association with ABWE, GARBC, Independent Baptists, supporting churches and national believers on the fields where ABWE has served.
Part of the culture of abuse is that you are brain-washed into thinking that it is somehow all your fault. People in authority over you beat that into your head until you begin to believe it.
I’m sorry for the Fentons and others like them who were booted out with nothing. All I can say is that God sees everything and He DOES provide. HE will never fail us, even if others do.
Thanks: Watching Closely,
You’re right; they gang up on you, so you must be guilty of something!
Galatians 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
Joe, be careful not to paint an ugly picture with too broad a brush. In fact, it is best not to paint an ugly picture all together.
Ephesians 4:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Joe, I have served with two mission agencies, and I have been on the other end of abuse by an agency. However, it would never cross my mind to broadly say what you said RE: “100’s of thousands who have been negatively effected through their association with …” Frankly, because you are not in the position to see into the hearts and minds of the “100’s of thousands” you refer to, you are not in the position to make a judgement like this one.
With all due respect, sexual abuse IS ugly and there is no way to discuss it without painting an ugly picture. Part of the problem is that people have not wanted to discuss it because it is so ugly. I thank God for those who are courageous enough to drag the ugliness into the light.
Susannah Beals Baker
Hi Susan,
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not saying do not speak out. I am saying speak the truth in love.
To speak the truth in love, we must speak it biblically and under the Spirit’s control. If we don’t speak the truth with love, than we will be no better than the very people that have hurt us. After all, isn’t flesh, flesh?
FYI, I am also a sexual assault survivor. I am where you are, and by the grace of God, ” By his stripes we are (I am) healed”
Thank you for your clarification. I also believe in speaking the truth in love, but sometimes the truth part hurts and is even downright ugly. I am sorry that you were also a sexual abuse victim but thankful you have found healing. I think what was confusing to me about your post were the verses you choose to quote, because some use those very same verses to keep sexual abuse victims quiet. I am relieved that is not what you intended.
Susannah Beals Baker
Roger,
We arrived in Australia with ABWE the year you were forced to resign. To repeat myself we tried to resign in 1993 but got terminated. We fought for our retirement which because we had served longer than 10 years was legally ours but we wanted it out of ABWE’s hands. I think we were the first for this to happen. We were dealing with an organization in Washington D.C. and the man we were dealing with talked with ABWE. First he was astounded how little we got for the amount we put in plus it was in the 80’s when investing was very good. Second he talked with Bob Auffort (forgot how to spell his name) and was astonished at their attitude. He told us ABWE was legal in how they deal with the missionary but in his own words said they were immoral in how they do it. You see at retirement you were guaranteed $10 a month for every year you served. That is how the man from Washington, D.C. said it was made legal because the missionary was guaranteed that $10 a month. You see ABWE wanted you always dependent on the local churches to keep you in retirement plus they depended on your Social Security. So basically the investment of your retirement that was taken out monthly went to ABWE and believe me most of the churches just don’t care.
Hi Pamela,
Thank you for the note. I had followed this blog for the first couple weeks and then only occasionally until the news came that Michael Loftis had been discharged from ABWE. Since then I have daily tried to catch up. It was your posts bringing to light the similarities we had that convinced me to share. You and others have revealed a serious undercurrent of abuse and bullying prevalent over the years. Those of us who didn’t fit their mold suffered, and some of those who did fit, like DK, could do no wrong.
Only God knows our heart so whose to say whether any of us are speaking the truth in love or are being spirit filled. I for one always want to speak right but do I always? No, but just because I show passion about an issue does not mean it is not out of love or spirit filled. I for one see the moderators of this blog showing love and being spirit filled. I see them posting comments that I think would be hard for them to post but they do it anyway. Do they do it with a heart of love and spirit filled? If someone does not comment on this blog are they NOT speaking the truth in love and being spirit filled? I don’t know. I have to admit I keep looking for names I know and don’t see them, do they not care, I don’t know, a few post anonymously. No matter our heart attitude, this ugly sin of Dr. Donn William Ketcham and ABWE is not going to go away just because we are or are not speaking the truth in love or being spirit filled. Lest we forget, this sin is also a crime.
Yes, regarding posting “ugly” things, Susannah spoke well that sexual abuse IS ugly. And there is hardly a way to talk about it that does not come across to others as such, because it is an ugliness that must be eliminated, it must be “expelled” from among us, if you will–to borrow on another biblical phrase.
But religious abuse is ugly too. It’s scars are different, sure. But make no mistake, Wickersham, spiritual abuse is ugly and real. I have appreciated your support on the blog. However, I would not underestimate the impact that the spiritually abusive culture prevalent in ABWE at TIMES during the past half century has had on others. I’m not saying every field had this, but many did. And when you consider it, you can’t limit it to the missionaries themselves, but their children and their children’s children, the nationals who tried to serve alongside them, the nationals who came to faith under them, and their children, etc., etc. The impact of distorted teaching or abusive control is far reaching.
I do not condemn all of ABWE, to be clear. But evidence is surfacing, more each day, that certain methods and practices were very unhealthy and it would be foolish of us to underestimate the damage that can be caused by such things, even if they are or were limited to a single field.
Also, re: the truth in love, it is difficult to hear love in written words on a blog. Sometimes we don’t fall over ourselves to try to communicate love in an internet conversation and I think that’s okay, if there is trust that the love is there. If there is not that trust, I certainly do understand that. Not everyone here says what they say out of love sometimes, including me. But we all have to be careful how we judge one another’s written words here, as far as motives behind them. I include myself in that reminder.
I don’t think that it is an exaggeration to say that 10’s if not 100’s of thousands of people have been negatively effected by the Ketcham scandal. Sin of any kind has a ripple effect that is often more far reaching than we can imagine. I don’t think that I have posted anything out of a bitter or unloving spirit. As an active ABWE missionary with 2 terms of service in Bangladesh in the ’70s, I was given misinformation about what happened and how it was handled, as were many others, untill the light of this blog began to shine. I was astonished and disgusted as were many others, and I along with many others have expressed our desire for things to be set right. That is not being “unloving”. To the contrary, it is a demonstration of love toward those who were so terribly abused.
Now, lets think about how many people have been negatively effected by this. All the ABWE family, missionaries, staff and their children have been negatively effected; the 1000s of supporting churches have been negatively effected; GARB has been negatively effected, everyone who has “hit” this blog has been negatively effected. Has the ripple touched a hundred thousand yet? And I have not mentioned the evangelical community at large or the general public who takes notice of these things. ABWE has had the reputation of being a “premier” mission agency. That reputation has been tarnished in the minds of many, many people. Donn Ketcham was a big fish in ABWE and in the GARB and his “splash” has not gone unnoticed by 10’s in not 100’s of thousands, and it has been a negative ripple, not a positive one.
Sin is UGLY. Period. Sometimes our sins don’t look that ugly to us, but they are always offensive, an affront, ugly to God.
Cancerous growths are ugly too. Infected tissue and gangrene are ugly. Closing our eyes and not wanting to see “ugly” does not make it go away. For that, you need a good surgeon with a sharp scalpel. Cutting away the “ugly” is very painful. Still, it is the ONLY way to rid the body of such “ugliness”. To cure and heal what was “ugly”, you need to look it in the face and remove it.
To follow the medical analogy, you don’t have to destroy the whole body to remove infection or cancer. You cut away all the the bad tissue.
No one is saying that all of the “tissue” of ABWE is diseased. What I do hear is that maybe all of the tissue of ABWE (and maybe other mission boards) needs to be examined carefully, by a trained professional (and hopefully some private introspection) who will make an unbiased determination of which tissue needs to be removed.
While this may sound harsh and unloving, this is exactly what I would expect if I were to go to a cancer specialist for treatment. I don’t need the specialist to “love” me. I need him/her to speak the truth, kindly, but in a way that leaved no doubt in my mind about what needs to be done, to try to save my life.
Hi Joe,
I stand corrected. Thanks for clarifying what was meant by the 10”s to 100’s of thousands. In context, you are right on point.
I would concur with Joe. I don’t believe we have begun to know the depth of impact that not only this particular situation has had but the deep problems at the heart of ABWE leadership as well. Problems which are prevalent through out the leadership of many Christian organizations. And although the negative impact is huge, I’m thankful for this blog because of the courage and hope displayed by the creators. There are many of us who have been deeply disappointed, hurt and betrayed by “Christian” leadership. That can be a very lonely experience when your only options are to conform or leave. Because of their courage, this blog has given the opportunity for many to speak up and demonstrates the fact that those suffering from spiritual abuse are in good company and not as isolated or rare as they feel.
It’s too bad that ABWE cannot get back to its humble beginning by moving off The Mountain and back to 1000 Race Street in Philadelphia Pennsylvania!
I don’t think the location is the problem. (By the way, I was appointed as an ABWE missionary at the Race Street office in 1968, resigned in 1995 after 27 years, entered the business world and retired at 70ish.)
I recently read an interesting book co-authored by George Barna (Barna Research Group) and Frank Viola (house church spokesman) “Pagan Christianity”. They push pretty hard to make their point but several things come through with clarity. Modern and esp. USA churchianity is based on a business model and not on the apostolic pattern. We have a tendency to define Biblical funtions in 21st century thinking; in other words, we “read into” the text concepts unknown by the apostolic church. Now, the apostolic church had problems, too. However, I am thinking that a “worldly” structure (business model) would lend itself to abusive practices much more easily than a strictly “Biblical” spiritual model. I think it was Frank Violo who wrote of USA churchianity as, “Big buildings, big budgets and big shots.” That may very well be the crux of the problem.
A sad thought, but I think you are right. Where are the humble carpenters and fishermen of old?
@Joe – This also is applicable to the idea of “mission boards” (a concept foreign to the Scriptures, but very much in line with a corporate mindset). Most of these boards claim to be working “alongside” the local church, but in reality undermine and usurp what is supposed to be a church responsibility.
Apropos quote by A.W. Tozer “The New Testament contains full instructions, not only about what we are to believe but what we are to do and how we are to go about doing it. Any deviation from those instructions is a denial of the Lordship of Christ. I say the answer is simple, but it is not easy for it requires that we obey God rather than man, and that brings down the wrath of the religious majority. It is not a question of knowing what to do; we can easily learn that from the Scriptures. It is a question of whether or not we have the courage to do it.”
Continuing to pray for you all and for the GRACE investigation.
Still here as well and continuing to visit and take the prayer break everyday!
Still here. Still waiting. Still praying.
Dear Watching Closely and all others who continue to pray for us,
Thank you so much for continuing to pray for the investigation and all of us while things are a bit “slow” right now. It encourages us and reminds us that things are not “slow” with GRACE as far as the investigation and that we need to pray for them and ABWE daily. Thank you so much for your encouraging words!
Susannah Beals Baker
I will not be silent.
Childhood sexual abuse thrives in the dark, in the silence.
We need to BE PROACTIVE not reactive.
Know the facts. Protect your children, your children’s children, your neighbor’s children.
I read this information on the Darkness to Light website. (www.d2l.org)
Please share it with everyone you know.
Realities, Not Trust, Should Influence Your Decisions Regarding Children
“We live in a beautiful, safe neighborhood. None of these children could be victims of sexual abuse, right?”
IT IS HIGHLY likely that you know a child who has been or is being abused.
*Experts estimate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthdays. This means that in any classroom or neighborhood full of children, there are children who are silently bearing the burden of sexual abuse.
*1 in 5 children are sexually solicited while on the Internet.
*nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
*The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old.
*Approximately 20% of the victims of sexual abuse are under age eight.
*50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are under age twelve.
*Most child victims never report the abuse.
*Sexually abused children who keep it a secret or who “tell” and are not believed are at greater risk than the general population for psychological, emotional, social, and physical problems, often lasting into adulthood.
*It is also likely that you know an abuser. The greatest risk to children doesn’t come from strangers but from friends and family.
*30-40% of children are abused by family members.
*As many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts- abusers frequently try to form a trusting relationship with parents.
*Nearly 40% are abused by older or larger children.
*People who abuse children look and act just like every one else. In fact, they often go out of their way to appear trustworthy to gain access to children.
*Those who sexually abuse children are drawn to settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, faith centers, clubs, and schools.
“It can’t happen in my family. I could tell if someone I know is an abuser.”
Yet in more than 90% of sexual abuse cases the child and the child’s family know and trust the abuser.
CONSEQUENCES to children and to our society begin immediately. Child sexual abuse is a direct source of a number of problems facing us.
*70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use.
*One study showed that among male survivors, 50% have suicidal thoughts and more than 20% attempt suicide.
*Young girls who are sexually abused are more likely to develop eating disorders as adolescents.
*More than 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape or attempted rape. The average age of the offenders is 27 years old.
*Approximately 40% of sex offenders report sexual abuse as children.
*Both males and females who have been sexually abused are more likely to engage in prostitution.
*Approximately 70% of sexual offenders of children have between 1 and 9 victims; 20-25% have 10 to 40 victims.
*Serial child molesters may have as many as 400 victims in their lifetimes.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
P.S. It was my best friend who was being sexually abused. She suffered in silence. Now that I know, I will be her voice. I WILL NOT BE SILENT!
One study showed that among male survivors, 50% have suicidal thoughts and more than 20% attempt suicide.
I know this is somewhat off topic…but I believe the reason that the child McQueary observed Sandusky molesting in 2001 has not been found is that he may have committed suicide prior to the start of the grand jury investigation. I also believe, due to the closeness of the incident, that it may have been the same child that the janitor saw. Can you imagine the despair that child felt…to know that TWICE adults had wittnessed him being molested, and nothing happened?
Warren Jeffs just got life in prison for the sexual abuse of two underage girls in Texas. He had many other victums. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. He wrote in his journal words to this effect: “If the world knew what I was doing they would hang me from the tallest tree.” All of this is just outrageous!!!! That is why “Childhood sexual abuse thrives in the dark, in the silence.”
And that is why everyone who loves children and who wants to protect their purity and innocence must never be silent and never be silenced.
Illinois law prohibits sex offenders from practicing medicine
The licenses of physicians, nurses and other health professionals convicted of sexual crimes and other felonies will be permanently revoked
http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2011/08/15/prsd0817.htm
I’m still watching, waiting and praying as these reminders are posted. I am wondering what kind of fines could be imposed or garnishment of past earnings collected for the many years a known sex offender practiced medicine and received income. If a license could/should/would have been revoked, not only would justice have been served many years ago, but healing would also have begun for the known victims. Not to mention preventing any new victims over the years practicing medicine in West Michigan with no accountability. May Grace continue to have the wisdom and empowerment of the Holy Spirit as they investigate and later report on this tragedy. I still cannot begin to fathom the depths of despair these victims and their families have known. I pray for the protection of my own 13 year old daughter as I read the facts and statistics. I am vigilant.
Thank You, Susannah Beals Baker; I just saw you on CBN. You are a very courageous lady. I pray for you as you stand on the front lines. That segment brought tears to my eyes and I imagine to many others who have become attached here. Was the omission of DK ‘s name CBN’s policy?
As far as we know, yes. News outlets are reluctant to name names in such instances.
However, we applaud the news of channel 8 in Michigan for not being nervous back in March about saying his name out loud, on air, for the world to hear. That channel even knocked on his front door. Kudos to them.
But we are grateful for CBN’s report and Susannah’s brave interview.
— Tamara
Praise the Lord for the CBN story! Good job, Susannah! The curtains are being pulled back. More light is coming into the room. Who will be the last person hiding? Who will be the last person trying to hold the curtains shut?
Intrigued by the comments here about the CBN report, I Googled it and watched it, twice. Roger F. and Dave DC are right. All 3 of the MK’s did a great job! It was hard to watch the clips of happy, playing children and know that so many were suffering at the same time.
It was interesting to see Wess Stafford as part of those interviewed. After years of hearing his voice on the radio, and the voices of children around the world, it is a beautiful thing to see how God has used his pain and suffering as a child to reach out to children. It shows that God can turn our pain and suffering into something beautiful that brings glory to Him.
Still praying for all the BD MK’s, praying that God will bring peace and healing to each one. Praying that He will continue to give you strength to keep shedding His light into the dark corners of our world.
Good news for Donn Ketcham: Your pedophilia is only a disorder if it troubles you.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=1413686
Satan must be laughing his head off as the American Psychiatric Association moves closer to legitimizing pedophilia. To the victims I say, Satan may laugh at you and the whole world abandon you, but we will stay right here. We will not minimize the crime. We will stay right here until every scrap of your dignity that remains in the clutches of someone with whom we have any influence is returned to you. That includes “the great men” at ABWE who didn’t listen to your cries.
I saw the CBN story. All of you are very courageous for going on the program to bring this problem to light to the Christian population who watch this program and may not have been aware of this problem.
A thought occurred to me! What sanctions or “punishment” could be imposed on any mission board who had even one report of abuse on the mission field and did not report it immediately for a thorough investigation by an independent agency? The sanctions or “punishment” would have to be severe enough that the board would not risk not taking the right actions. Just a thought.
I see ABWE has hired a new lawyer, Justin Owens, it sounds like it is for this situation as well as other sins in the camp. He did not replace Don Davis.
Do the MKs involved get updates about progress from G.R.A.C.E.? Not that we need to know, I just keep thinking it would be lonely not getting updates or encouragement during the long process. So with that in mind my prayer today- 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 “Now Our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, Which has loved us, and has given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, Comfort your hearts, and establish you in every good word and work.” 🙂
I just wanted to let you all know that you and your struggle for the truth are not forgotten. Still praying and watching.
Amazed, thank you for those beautiful words. God’s words are so powerful! No, I have received no updates and I doubt anyone has at such an early date. I haven’t even received any call or questionaire. ABWE is very large, this problem was hidden so long and GRACE is not large enough to do everything at once. They will probably be focusing on a few key leads for quite a while. “We look to you, Lord Jesus, for comfort and strength, now and forever.”
I just to “check in” again here, to let you know my prayers continue. (an Orthodox prayer in the face of the unknown)
O Lord, You who steadied the hand of Peter as he began to sink on the stormy sea, if you are with us, no one is against us. Grant to us the shield of faith and the mighty armor of the Holy Spirit to protect us and guide us to do Your will. The future we put into Your hands, O Lord, and we follow You to a life in Christ. Amen
Much love to you all. Be strong!
I like the forums you have added in addition to this blog. Hopefully people will take a little time to check them out. I’m glad that this blog will continue, parallel to them.
As we watch and wait, I am reminded by a new(er) song by Mark Schultz called “HE Is”. Part of the words say, “He is, He was, He always will be, even when it feels like there is no one . . . He is. Be still my soul. He lives, He loves, He’s always with me.”
It is good to know that even in our darkest hours, He is there and He loves us. May He continue to give you the grace and strength you need for each day, for each hour, for each minute if necessary.
ABWE Sees No Reason for Change
By Diana Durrill
I must confess: I am angry and hurt. AGAIN.
In March of this year I stated that I believed that Tony Beckett (Vice President of Church Relations, ABWE Intertational) was only following orders as directed by ABWE’s president, Michael Loftis. I genuinely wanted to believe that Mr. Beckett simply didn’t know the truth about this situation and simply believed the word of his co-workers.
Sadly, on Saturday I received the latest printing of The Message. For most of the past decade, when that publication arrives in my mailbox, I have simply thrown it away. I have no desire to read the propaganda that ABWE is putting out. I had personally experienced a different ABWE than they ever presented themselves to be. I could not stomach the accolades given to missionaries and ABWE administration of whom I knew KNEW. Do you follow me? These men and women KNEW who Donn Ketcham was. They KNEW that ABWE had covered it up. They KNEW that he had never been properly reported to the authorities in the US. They KNEW that girls had been asking for help for years. They KNEW so much and did nothing.
Why on earth would I want to read about all the great and wonderful things they were doing globally when they couldn’t even minister to their own children?
But in recent months I have made sure to scour The Message when it came. I want to know if they are turning their ship around….if they are finally getting honest about their past. That is what I long for. I desire, from someplace deep inside me, to see ABWE own up to the wrongs they have done. I long for them to sincerely ask for forgiveness. I have hoped to see them offer to do anything to make it right. I hold out hope that the men and women I looked up to as a child would humbly and contritely come to an understanding that they have caused serious damage in the lives of innocent children. THEIR children.
Unfortunately, what I’ve read has been a sore disappointment. And sadly, Tony Beckett was the author.
Tony recently wrote an article called “Seasons of Change: The Past, Present, and Future of ABWE”. “Aha!”, I thought. “ABWE is finally going to acknowledge that they are in need of some serious change!” Not so. Tony tells the reader that ABWE currently finds itself in a season of change, but don’t worry! You can take comfort that certain things will remain the same.
What is it that is changing? Well, Michael Loftis is no longer the president of ABWE International and ABWE Ministries, Inc. Dr. Al Cockrell has stepped in as Interim Executive Administrator. OKAY – that we knew. There is very little (none, really) information on Dr. Loftis’ term as president nor why he is no longer filling that position, but you will find a wealth of information about Dr. Cockrell and why he is a good fit for the interim.
However, my issue with article comes when Tony Beckett says the following:
“At ABWE some things are changing and some continue to stay the same.
Our commitment to God’s Word has not changed. Our determination to make disciples among every people group on earth has not changed. Our commitment to our core values of integrity, excellence, compassion and accountability have not changed.
Even in these times of change, our mission is the same. We continue to share the story of hope so others come to know Christ as their Savior…We continue to serve the world with God’s love, knowing it open doors to share the story of hope and build communities of faith.” (emphasis mine)
Somehow, knowing that these things are not changing does not bring me comfort. If their disciple-making, integrity, excellence, compassion and accountability are not changing – then they are NOT turning the ship around. They still do NOT see where they have gone wrong. Let me point out why these things hurt so badly….hurt to the very core of my being.
1. Are not the MKs worthy of making into disciples? Are we not so very important to them? If we are (and they do claim that we are)…why did they not grow VERY concerned about making disciples of us when it was discovered that a monster had been sexually abusing us even during our medical exams? Why were they not concerned about discipling a girl (a minor) who had been raped and otherwise sexually assaulted over a two year period? Why did they call our own Susannah Beals Baker a “self-described” MK and then, after retracting that adjective in their next statement, not issue an apology for such an offense. THAT statement hurt more than just the heart of Susannah (not to minimize the pain it caused her). That statement broke the heart of every MK who read it. ABWE made a loud and clear statement that day saying, “We will quickly disown any and every MK that dares to rebuke us.” There has been no apology – public or private – and we stand offended. The MKs are clearly the last people group that ABWE is concerned about making into disciples of Christ.
2. If ABWE’s integrity is going to stay the same, then they will continue to fail to report pedophiles in their midst – most notably the high-profile names. They will keep it a secret and not report it, as they lawfully should, to the authorities. They will advise the victims to not talk about what happened and they will withhold important, key information from the victim’s family. Their integrity will even pay for medical or counseling expenses IF you ask for it. However, if you don’t know to ask or don’t have the courage to ask, you will not get an offer of help. Their integrity, if it is not going to change, will allow them to post two, TWO statements that were flat-out lies when this issue was finally confronted. They will only get it right (in false humility) the third time and then will offer no explanation or apology for the first two which were in gross error. They will not have the courage to explain why they got it so terribly wrong again and again. Then, they will send out letters behind our backs to basically say (and I do paraphrase), “We know what we said but we still believe that when this investigation is through you’ll find that we really did nothing wrong”. And their integrity will allow them to post a statement on August 11 that states that they are well ahead of the game in protection of MKs. In fact, they are leading the way. And they will state that they only recently began hearing concerns about the DK incident from ’89. NO, it does not bring this MK any comfort to learn that ABWE’s integrity is going to “remain the same”.
3. Excellence. I guess this means that the new president of ABWE will be making over 133k a year, just like the last one? It means that they are going to skim the missionaries support so that that the top admins can keep earning their +100k and the next 7 or 8 top execs can hear their +80k?? And they can continue to stay in four star hotels as they travel the world on YOUR dime? If the excellence isn’t changing, that means that they STILL don’t have to follow the laws of each land they are in or the laws of the land from which their missionaries are citizens. Nor do they have to be honest with their missionaries (why they are dismissing them or what really happened to their daughter), their churches (why the good doctor is being let go), or their MKs (why we let something so terrible go uncared for so long). The ABWE definition of EXCELLENCE has to change.
4. If their compassion is going to remain the same then I guess all future MKs will have to wonder how they’ll be treated if something terrible ever happens to them. They will also fear public shaming when they do gain the courage to speak out. They will be bullied in hopes they’ll remain silent. They can know that they will receive pitiful phone calls asking them to please stop and take it all back, even though it is true. They will hear words like “Consider what you are doing to the cause of Christ”. The compassion ABWE continues to keep the same will allow them to NOT communicate sincere sorrow and repentance for the grief and pain caused by their beloved missionaries and themselves. Rather, it will allow them to communicate hurtful things as posted in their very public statements regarding this issue. It will require them to make MKs BEG for an independent investigation. If their compassion is going to remain the same then they will continue to listen to their lawyer, Don Davis, before they “suffer the little children” to come – back to them and back to Jesus.
5. And finally, if their accountability is going to remain the same, then I suppose that means that we will soon see the names of the board disappear. They will also withdraw all contact information for board members. Their financials (the detailed financials) will not be public information so that the churches have no idea the type of salaries those in the home office are making. They will not hold hold themselves accountable to civil law, nor to God’s law, for that matter when it comes to child abuse and criminal activity. No, this does not bring my heart comfort to learn that the accountability that ABWE has always had will “remain the same”.
Mr. Tony Beckett – please take it all back and tell me that EVERYTHING at ABWE is changing….that ABWE simply cannot and will not continue to operate the same way it always has. PLEASE.
Diana, I really can sense your pain. I had similar thoughts when I tried to read the last issue. Unfortunately big coporations don’t give reasons for why their top brass disappears. I have been so disappointed by the lack of integrity and honesty being shown by ABWE adminstration. In the past few days I was asked which mission agency we were with and very honestly, I was embarassed to tell them, but I did. The praises I used to sing about how great a mission board we had is history. Maybe I’m the only one of the “retired” missionaries that feels this way, but I get a literal sick feeling in my stomach whenever I hear the letters ABWE. And those are my hurried thoughts for the day.
Tony B. took the approach of emphasizing the things at ABWE that are NOT changing.
It is quite interesting when you consider these things in light of what we now know about the abuse of MKs at the hands of a missionary doctor and subsequent cover up by ABWE leadership. Leadership who was anything but compassionate to the victims. Leadership who lacked personal integrity (ie: truth telling) and demanded even less from their own missionary. Leadership who chose to maintain a façade of excellence rather than model humble accountability.
Why are some people (Baptists especially) so afraid of change?
I think it is time to CELEBRATE CHANGE. Change that can result in growth. Change that can result in healing.
Celebrate that things don’t have to be the way they have always been!
But, that would require ABWE be willing to change.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Still here . . . still waiting . . . still watching closely.
Thinking of you all . . . praying for you all.
Hoping and praying that you are finding encouragement and comfort, that you have people near you who are good listeners.
As I sit here this morning, checking the blog and forums, a question occurs to me: where are the churches? Where are all our churches, the same ones who believe they have almost exclusive use of God’s truth, the only defenders of the faith still standing? What are they standing for now? Where are all the churches who send out missionaries? Where are all the churches (and individuals) who support all the missionaries? Mission agencies do not send and support missionaries; churches do! Where are they and why don’t they speak up and demand the truth from mission agencies today?
Are we supposed to just close our eyes and say, “It’s none of my business.”? Our country was not founded on that principle. People came here because they did NOT agree with what was happening in their countries! They couldn’t change things where they were so they came here seeking a change for the better.
Fundamental churches left some of the earlier church denominations and associations because they did not like what they saw. They wanted to adhere to the fundamental truths of the faith. Where are these people now? Do they still care about truth purity of doctrine? Do they care only about a limited number of issues, like music and which version of the Bible to read? Do they care about the families of the missionaries they support (or used to support)? Why are they silent. They could have the loudest voice of all to effect change in modern mission agencies, to demand an accounting of what has been done, or what has NOT been done. Where are they?.
The thing that strikes me is that we get comments, support and encouragement from many missionaries and pastors, BUT so many want to remain anonymous.
Why?
Why don’t people want their friends, family, co-workers and boss to know where they stand when it comes to sexual abuse of children?
Why don’t they want others to know they want to know the truth?
You know where I stand.
I’m not embarrassed. I am not ashamed. I’ll stand and shout it from the roof tops.
STOP !!
The abuse. The lies. The cover up. The sacrifice of children for the “sake of the mission”.
God doesn’t need ABWE to accomplish His purpose.
He needs people who see the lost and hurting world through His eyes. People who see children and love them the way He does. People who say- the little ones- they matter to me because they matter to God.
I will be their voice. I will protect them, because that’s what Jesus would do!!
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
For quite a while I have struggled with the issue of giving my name or not. A couple of things made me hesitant.
For one thing, I didn’t think it mattered to anyone who I am. It certainly didn’t matter to our former mission board. My 25 years of missionary service in 4 countries (2 of them as a short-termer teaching MK’s in South America) and my ability to speak 2 languages, fluently, in addition to English didn’t count for anything. The fact that we were willing to live on very little support while administrators were building nice houses didn’t matter. They didn’t want people who asked questions or questioned their leadership in any way. Who we are didn’t matter to most of our supporters either, as the majority of them never even asked us why we resigned out of the blue and didn’t really giving them an explanation. When people have their mind made up to do something, or to not do anything, it doesn’t matter who you are.
The second reason I’ve been hesitant to give my name is due to the nature of my work and some of my clients. The irony here is that my line of work deals with the justice system in our country and being the voice of those who cannot speak.
In the years since we were forced to resign from the mission agency, we have seen God provide in new and exciting ways. We have seen God open up new doors for ministry.
I guess you are right, Susannah. The time has come.
Donna Bos, former missionary with a board that no longer exists, EBM
Thank you for adding your name with ours as someone who will not be silent about the abuse. Your name matters. It matters to us and more importantly it matters to God. He is proud of you for standing for truth, for protecting the innocent, for doing what Jesus would do.
Thank you.
A song that is going through my head this morning…
“I have a Maker
He formed my heart
before even time began
my life was in hands.
He knows my name
he knows my every thought
he sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.”
God knows our thoughts. God knows our names. God knows where we stand. Whether we have been abused, whether we’ve known about abuse and have chosen to let it continue without standing up in opposition, or whether we have been the abuser. There are no secrets to Him. One day the truth will be known.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Watching, you are right that the churches are the single most powerful voice in ABWE’s world. There may be some churches and pastors who just want to look the other way, but I am guessing most are very disturbed at what has happened. The lack of action, I think, is because their outrage is balanced by a concern to not hurt the 90% plus missionaries who are doing a good job in the field and by the hope that this is an isolated problem. (I wish more would take note of the systemic problems at ABWE that this blog has brought to light.) Some Pastor’s have taken positions on the blog. Some have written directly to ABWE and I know of at least one church board that composed a letter to ABWE demanding an accounting. The majority are probably hoping someone else will clean up the mess and don’t want to get involved. Add to that the fact that everybody is busy and board meetings usually run late and I think you’ve got your answer.
It’s missionary conference time at our church and I’d like to know what to do. We have only one missionary from ABWE. Do I talk with her about this? She is getting by with hand-me-down furniture and yard sale funds. I admire her faith in God and discipline to go without so she can continue to carry on the work of the gospel, but I am also nauseated by the salaries discussed in the forums of the lawyers and CEO’s of ABWE. I want to support her, I don’t want to support them.
Should I be looking critically at all mission agencies? How do I go about that?
I read a number of update letters from missionaries, but I’m not as concerned about numbers. I want to know about how the missionary/family is doing. Do they know God’s confirmation in where they are and what they’re doing? (that isn’t the same as conversion #’s). Are their needs being met financially and emotionally?
I’ve had a heart for missions that was put there by the churches of my childhood. I’m not a child any more. Can anyone suggest real steps I can use to help bring missions back to accountability, good ethics and plain old teaching of the Word?
This question might be better answered in one of our forums. That’s a better format for discussion. Check out this one: Missions: What the Past Shows, What the Future Can Be
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I had to walk out of church yesterday morning, before the service began. My husband and I had rushed to get there, but when I heard our pastor start to introduce our special speakers, missionaries from Bangladesh, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stood up and walked out into the lobby and looked at our board that has all the missionary information on it. Sure enough, our speakers were from/through the ABWE. I am sure they were wonderful people, I am sure they are God driven to spread his gospel and sincere about their work, but I knew. I knew they did their work through the ABWE and I couldn’t stay and listen. I knew if I stayed I would stand up and ask them about their knowledge or their thoughts regarding the cover-up. I would have asked them to be sure to totally inform the people sitting in the congregation about the ABWE and how they aided and abetted a pedophile. I would have pointed out to them and everyone there in the congregation that any money pledge to them goes through the ABWE and will support the ABWE. So, instead I went back inside the sanctuary, let my husband know that yes, these missionaries work through the ABWE and he got up and left with me (he knows me so well).
I am working on composing an email to the pastors at my church expressing my disappointment. I did send the news release to my church in May (or whenever that was). Maybe it was swallowed by the SPAM monster, maybe they deleted it thinking it was SPAM or junk mail. But I should have followed up.
I want to let you know – I am still here. You are all still in my prayers and my heart and in my thoughts. Still watching, still reading, still .. hoping. Hoping that the ABWE does turn the ship, hoping that they display CHRIST-LIKE love for the children and families they betrayed.
Still … I am here.
I have to wonder… if you had been given the opportunity to ask those questions…
How would your questions have been answered?
Would the missionaries try to defend ABWE’s actions?
Would they claim ignorance of the whole issue?
I have to wonder…
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
I have a password for the forums, but this space seems more appropriate for me because I am not involved in the discussions re: mission organizations etc. But I want to continue to reiterate to you all that I am still here, and I am still praying, all the time for each of you here.
The other day in court, the guardian of a young abuse survivor, horribly damaged by her own father, spoke so eloquently on her behalf. She is now 14 and the descriptions of what she now deals with made me think, again, of all of you here. She described a girl who now lies to protect herself, who stubbornly refuses to trust, whose armor cannot yet be pierced by some of the best therapists in the country who are working with her. She worries about protecting those around her and loves deeply, but nothing can get in and very little gets out.
As an Orthodox Christian, my understanding and belief about sin is that it is much more organic than a list of things we do or our legal standing before God. Sin is much more than that, it is the cancer that eats away at our lives here, and it is the condition of the world that oftentimes presents no good choices in some of our situations. It’s easy in situations such as this one, or the one I described above, for people to write off the survival skills — the deception and self-protective anger–as conscious choices to sin. It certainly makes it easy for organizations such as ABWE to do so: “Oh, well, she’s a liar, she’s an addict, she’s promiscuous, she’s…” whatever label they want to throw on those they themselves have damaged. But the reality is, and I believe this is how God views these beloved ones, they have had to do certain things to protect themselves that most people cannot even contemplate. They made a decision in an environment where there is no good choice.
Precious ones, God understands that. God gets it. He loves perfectly. And that perfect love casts out fear.
I don’t know why I wrote this today, other than it has been on my heart for more than a week now. Much love and continued prayers for you all.
Thank you once again for putting your caring thoughts into a well written note of encouragement.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Hi everyone:
I just wanted to ask if you could put a link to the time line of events up in the vital documents on the front page. I’ve lost track of the page, and I’m trying to direct a blogger here to view the articles. 🙂
Along the top of the blog page under the red band with the circle there is a black band. Hover over the word “TIMELINE” (slightly right of center) and click. Then you should have it. Let us know if that doesn’t work for you.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
Thanks for your patience- I really didn’t see the letters on those- time to get my eyes checked! Much appreciated.
Amazed, I have just updated the timeline, as we were a few months behind. You may want to take a second look now. Thank you!
— Tamara
You mention in the timeline that ABWE is changing the format of the GRACE reports to print them as they wish. Is there any way you, the blog founders or administrators, can get the pdf forms directly from GRACE – at least so you can read them yourselves? Does GRACE have an obligation to you, the MK’s, directly, or only to the agency? It seems ludicrous that only ABWE would receive the original or pdf format reports. Don’t you, and maybe the public in general, have a right to see them, in their unadulterated form?
I seem to remember that the reports that GRACE submitted regarding the abuse by NTM in Senegal, as well as other places, ended up posted online. I don’t think the victims’ names or personal information were shared in them, just some of the specific “counts” or actions of abuse that GRACE found. There was enough “evidence” in their reports to prove beyond a doubt that the abuse did exist and for a long period of time.
I think that most of us who continue reading the blog and the forums already believe you completely and support you 100%. We don’t need to see reports to confirm what you have told us. The reports, in black and white – or any other color – are important for those who refuse to face the truth any other way. They may help to get some people down of the fence. They will be helpful in convincing the mission agencies that they need to change, and NOW. You are entitled to the reports. I’m hoping and praying you are able to get them.
Donna Bos
Hey, Donna. We do have all the GRACE reports in their unadulterated format, as the original pdfs that were presented to us from GRACE. We do get them directly from GRACE, and not from ABWE.
Doing some work on links on here today, and then I’ll make sure those pdf reports are easy to find. If you look back chronologically through blog posts though, you will find at least two. Thank you for your support! — Tam
Thanks for reminding me where to find them. I think I probably had read them when they were posted but it was good to read them again.
Donna
Did anyone see the news report tonight about Penn State? They are saying it is a crime not to report the sexual abuse of a child. Several people are stepping down because they failed to inform the authorities. WOW! One of the news people was from a newspaper in Harrisburg, PA.
Continuing in Prayer, just wanted to remind you that many are still stopping by daily and saying a prayer for all involved.
It’s been a long time since I have written to try to encourage all of you who have been abused so badly as children and now as adults. I want you all to know that we are still with you and will do anything we can to help you. Many of God’s children feel the same way even though they have not openly expressed this to you. May the joy of His presence flood your souls. Jesus is the only one who can heal the brokenhearted. We, too, are longing for the day when justice will prevail.
Thank you Joe, and everyone who have stood with us and continue to stand with us through this whole ordeal. I have not moderated on the blog for several months, as I have been struggling myself, but I read every comment and it is so encouraging to know that so many of you who stood with us in the beginning are still standing with us. I still believe that truth and justice will prevail.
Susannah Beals Baker
I am here because I am PISSED! yes, I used that vulger word but sometimes you just have to use strong words to express your distaste and repulsion of sin. What idiot made that young baby write her “Confession” What a terrible thing to MAKE an ABUSED 14 year old write. I makes it seem she had consensually agreed to the abuse.. I have just spent the last 3 hours reading all the above. i found this blog on Deb’s site. ( thank you Debbie for you honesty in your life stuggles too)
I am here to SHOUT I believe you! ( Children DO not make up this stuff)
I am here because I am a foster mom of abused children. I am their VOICE.
I am here because I adopted a child damaged by the trauma she endured as a child at the hands of another non BD related sexual pervert (pedophile is too nice of a word). I have lived through her hell in trying to make sense of it all. What do you day when you baby asks you where GOD was in all of this? My reply, “watching, weeping and working out a plan to bring you to our home.” How I wish each of you ” MK babies” traumatized in your tender years could find that healing in Christ.
I am here because I ache for the many lives Donn Ketchum impacted and hurt through his selfish lust…child abuse is just that. The adult putting his own selfish needs before the child. Just the opposite of what I teach my children…”Let each of you esteem others before himself” or simply “Jesus and others then you.”
I am here because now, because I wasn’t able to be there before. When I was in Bangladesh I lived in Dhaka and Chittagong. I was on outsider at Mulumghat. If I would have known about each of you and the abuse you endured I would have stood in your place. I would have spoken up. I would have protected you.As to what should have been done in 1989…. here’s a suggestion from my dearly departed saintly mother. When she would hear of any abuser her judgement was always the same, “hang him by his balls.” ahhh.. once again I revert to vulgarity.
After reading the 1000+ preceding replies, i am sure someone will be ” offended”. But I don’t care. That may sound calloused but it is what it is.
I am here to say to each girl, boy, man or woman who has suffered abuse. scream out…”Abuse , Abuse, I am the victim, I was used, I am the innocent who had my innoncence stolen. Thief, thief, we yell when someone steals our purse… murder, murder when someone is killed…Abuse, Abuse should be our mantra when someone harms our children. It is NOT your fault, you need not feel shame, there is nothing you could have done to stop the abuse. you were the child
I am here to listen when you speak.
The world is truly a sad place when Christians are more offended by the use of a few vulgar terms than by the sexual and physical abuse suffered by innocent children, and then by their intimidated parents, when it is then covered up for more than 20 years! Shame on DK, shame on ABWE, shame on us if we stand by and say nothing, stand by and do nothing!
Amen to that! Sexual perversion in and of itself is vulgar- it is a putrifying rotting stench! Your voice will be greatly appreciated here I’m sure. My heart aches for the foster child you care for, but glad that child now has you.
Thank you, Judy. Well said. I love your mother’s comment. I can understand it perfectly! I’m new to this situation, probably because I left my GARB church about the time this was breaking. See my comments below, this date. Blessings.
Is is my imagination, or are some of the topics really disappearing from the forums?
Donna Bos
Could you be more specific about what is missing? I’ll be glad to look into it. I just need to know what I’m looking for.
-Susannah Goddard Weldy
It seems as if the whole thread about the situation at Penn State is missing. Also, I usually look at the dates on the right side of the list to check for the latest updates. I thought there were some posts there made after Nov. 24. There were some from Nov. 25-27. Now, the latest one I see is Nov. 19.
I was afraid something happened and/or someone made you take some of them off. A little part of me even wondered if miracles were happening over there in PA and you were finally seeing some significant progress. We can still hope and pray to that end but that might be a little too optimistic, even for me!
Still watching closely and praying for you all. Praying for boldness and unwavering steadfast faith in God to see you through this time or turmoil.
Donna Bos
Yes- there is at least one thread missing. We are looking into this. Thank you.
-SGW
Dear Moderators,
I have a gift for your readers. As I mentioned before I am a foster mom who adopted a young child who was severely abused. The trauma she endured brought about layers of hurt and dysfunction. I was first introduced to therarpeutic story telling by her first therapist.. Over the years I have used this in her attachment disorder therapy as well. There is power in stories. I have a story i would like to share. Can I upload that to you in some way so it can be made available? It is rather long to be posted here. my email is 1fostermom@att,net
Judy
For more information on the value of therapeutic stories visit Dr. Davis’s website. http://drnancydavis.com/stories
It has been a while since anyone has posted. Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you ladies during this Christmas season. I still come everyday and say a prayer for you as I check the blog and the forum. Be of good cheer Christ is the victory – he has overcome the world. Our strength is in Him, and he is touched by our infirmities. Heb 4:15-16
Amazed, you read my thoughts exactly! We are still here! We are still watching and praying. I was thinking this morning just how hard the Christmas season must be for some of the families affected by this whole situation. I’m convinced that God is working on this, even behind the scenes. The psalmist writes, “. . . those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.” Psalm 40:31
Time to check in again and encourage the women of this website that we have not gone anywhere. I still drop by and pray and I’m sure watching closely is as are others who may not write but are still praying for you.
Yes, amazed, you are absolutely right! I am here and I am still watching closely. I check the blog here and the forums daily to see if there are any updates and to remind myself that this is still not settled, not that I have heard anyway.
I too want to encourage the women of this website. I imagine at times the burden of what you are doing and the pressure put on you by others is overwhelming. Please know that we are still here. We are still praying for you. We still want to believe, against all evidence to the contrary, that one day God will grant your requests and healing can begin.
Your sister in Christ,
Donna Bos
Even in the midst of the silence on the blog and forums, I can still hear the clock ticking away. Time is passing. I’m hoping that those who need to make changes in the “system” of missions today are using it for soul-searching and decision-making.
It’s been over a month since my last post here. Still, I continue to check in to see if there are any updates and continue to pray for you all regularly. May God give you strength and wisdom to keep up the work He has given you.
Donna Bos
This has indeed been a long period of silence, As we approach a year since the initial post on the blog, I wonder how things are proceeding – both at GRACE and at ABWE – sometimes with hope, and sometimes with skepticism. As Donna Bos said above, I too hope that those who need to make changes in the “system” of missions today are using it for soul-searching and decision-making. I will continue pray throughout the duration of this process, knowing that God can and will bring light out of darkness, affect changes within ABWE, and bring comfort, healing, strength and confidence to those who have suffered the worst from the many failures of ABWE’s senior leadership.
Steve DeCook
I have not visited the blog in several months. When I tried to print out the posts, I discovered that the last page number I had was 539, but now the last page number is 310. Have over 200 pages been removed for some reason or moved to another site? Also I have not heard of WOOD TV channel 8 doing any follow-up reports since their initial report Has the media lost interest in the story or are there no new developments that can be reported without compromising the investigation being done by G.R.A.C.E.?
I would appreciate it if anyone knows the answers to these questions.
Still Watching, praying, and waiting for GRACE.
Just saw on Channel 8 that he gave up his license to practice. He admitted no guilt.
See article attached from WoodTV8:
Dr gives up license after alleged abuse
Accused of abusing girl in Bangladesh in late ’80s
Updated: Tuesday, 27 Mar 2012, 5:46 PM EDT
Published : Tuesday, 27 Mar 2012, 5:42 PM EDT
LANSING, Mich. (WOOD) – An Allendale doctor has agree to surrender in medical license and never practice medicine in the U.S. again after charges of sexual abuse arose in 2011.
Donn Ketcham, 81, was accused of sexually abusing young female patients while working as a missionary in Bangladesh between 1987 and 1989. A complaint regarding the alleged abuse was filed with the state last year.
After an investigation, the Michigan Department of Licensing and Regulatory Affairs reached a settlement with Ketcham in which he pleaded “no contest” to the allegations and agreed to permanently surrender his medical license. He also agreed that he will not hold or seek a medical license in any other state.
The agreement was signed in December, but online state records show the license itself was surrendered in late February.
Though the alleged abuse took place overseas, state investigators say Ketcham may be punished under the Michigan Public Health Code because the incidents constituted “negligence or failure to exercise due care” and a “lack of good moral character,” which is required by law for certain professionals.
None of the allegations in the complaint alleged abuse of any patient in West Michigan.
Oh. My. Goodness. I was in 2 GARB churches for probably 20 years, very active, very knowledgeable about the various GARB missionary agencies and many individual missionaries. I somehow found this site and I am just speechless and stunned. Knowing what happened to me in a GARB church that covered up my former husband’s adultery, I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m thinking we’re just seeing the tip of the iceberg. God help us. God help those dear children, now adults.
I just read the counselor’s notes, and I must say, I’m shocked and appalled! What kind of a counselor in 1989 would support having a 14 year old girl sign a cofession of guilt in this case? What kind of a counselor would call that girl’s desire to speak to her parents alone “suspicious?”
Oh my Lord.
To be very clear…I was 16 years old in February of 1989 when the disaster that was my family life blew apart and became public knowledge. I left home–with the help of administrators and teachers from my public high school. I worked through the court system. I got therapy. So I’m very much aware of what public sensabilities were regarding child abuse at that time. I’d like to say that “no one” blamed my sister (then 17 years old but learning disabled) or myself for the physical and emotional abuse we had endured for over 11 years. But that wouldn’t be true. Who, other than our parents of course, blamed us?
The pastor of our church.
Not completely mind you…but in “family counseling” with that man, I distinctly recall that he spent a significant amount of time trying to convince my sister and I that we were the ones in the wrong, deserving of discipline, just MAYBE our parents had stepped over the line a little bit too far.
Might I mentione that the pastor was new to our church, and my parents were very influentential/powerful members of the church?
Sigh.
At least my sister and I were lucky enough to have the full support of our school system, so we got the help we needed.
I am an ABWE mk from Peru, a few years younger than the 14-yr-old hero who uncovered a pedophile. I am part of the ABWE family (and there are many of you who know what that means), but this is the first I am hearing of this whole tragedy. I am also a BBC alumni, and only after BBC agreed not to name a building after Dr. Kempton (because of his role in covering up the scandal) did I have any idea that this was going on. (no word as to whether they will consider renaming Ketcham dorm…).
Even though I grew up in Peru and not Bangladesh, I know that world you women grew up in. That world of “aunts and uncles,” or warm, safe places of missionary field councils and holiday potlucks, the comfortableness of a family and an unquestioned moral stability. I am sure that I have brushed shoulders with some of you at M.E. conferences. I cannot imagine what was done to the fabric of your being. To the very seams of your soul. I have very little to say here except that I stand with you all.
I am relieved that “Dr.” Ketcham is no longer practicing. And I applaud all who were willing to stand as a beacon of truth on this small bit of online space. Your stories are not small. Not in any way.
Thank you so much for your support. It is nice to have that part of our lives understood.
As a side note, the Ketcham dorm is for Dr. Ketcham’s father Robert, so we do not believe that name will be changing any time soon.
Thank you again for stopping in and for sharing your thoughts and support.
– TR
Pingback: The Realist Speaks: 5 Reasons the BJU Scandal Will Go Away | Hope Fully Known