Uncovering: I was Abused as a Little Girl

A glimpse into the pain a survivor endures. Please read it, trying to understand and allowing the compassion of Christ to overwhelm your heart today:

http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/uncovering-abused/

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About Bangladesh MKs Speak

We are a group of American former missionary kids (MKs) who lived in Bangladesh while Donn Ketcham worked as a missionary doctor there with the mission agency Association of Baptists for World Evangelism (ABWE) out of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
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5 Responses to Uncovering: I was Abused as a Little Girl

  1. amazed says:

    Such a powerful testimony. I cried of course, and praise God for her sharing. How she shared it made me realize how in daily life lies affect me, and others. It also helps me get a small glimpse of the daily struggle it must be for those who have been sexually abused. Thank you for sharing it.

  2. Sue McCoy says:

    The line that stood out to me was “Satan’s best trick is to get us to keep his secrets.” The Christian community has played into Satan’s hand by covering up sexual abuse and keeping the secret. I’ve personally left a church because the pastor covered up sexual abuse allegations and refused to report it to the authorities. It’s a proven fact that ABWE covered up and kept Donn Ketcham’s secret for decades and refused to report it to the authorities. Satan is definitely in control of this type of secret keeping. When people in position of authority keep these secrets, they deny the victims their right to be heard and the opportunity to begin the healing process. When the secrets are kept by those in authority, the message sent loud and clear is: “We don’t care about you or what you’ve been through, we want to keep the status quo”. All the victims of Donn Ketcham are praying that ABWE will stop playing into the hand of Satan and come out now with all information in a transparent and truthful manner. If you are person in authority, please do the right thing …expose the secrets!

    • isaiah 618 says:

      That line really stood out to me, too. I don’t like secrets…never have. Not even good ones. That’s no fun, I know, but I really grow frustrated when people keep secrets. Perhaps it goes back to the fact that in my childhood, the secrets I remember weren’t typically good ones. Like the one about the single nurse I adored as a kid. I was told in ’86 or ’87 that she wasn’t coming back due to her mother needing care, but I was smart enough to detect that I wasn’t getting the whole story. I suspected that there was a secret behind her departure. In ’89 the truth came out after my sister shared how Donn Ketcham had been sexually assaulting her. He admitted that he hadn’t been honest about his relationship with the nurse after all and the station council decided to use that story as the cover with the Bengalis. (That he was going home because of his dishonesty about his relationship with her rather than the truth he was a child abuser.) A new secret had been born. We had to keep the truth a secret from not only the Bengalis, but were also expected to keep it from everyone from that day forward. Unfortunately, most of us did a pretty good job keeping it. (Just read this post, and this post, and this one – for starters – if you don’t remember how well we kept it.)

      I don’t like secrets.

      – Diana

      • A victims parent says:

        I agree, Diana. Secrets hurt and Satan uses them for his purposes. If only the truth had been told from day one that Donn Ketcham had already had so many second chances. If it was any other missionary they would have been sent home the first time anyone questioned their actions. If he had been sent home from the beginning, many girls would not have been sexually assaulted and their lives would have been turned out so differently. The 14 year old victim has not been able to grow up in a healthy way since that time. Her life and others have been so damaged and they were cheated from a normal life. His life has been normal and he has gone on being the “good doctor”. Even the team members who knew him and knew the truth still preferred to invite him to functions over the innocent parties who could not attend Bengali functions in the area he lives. Why? What was his power that people overlooked what he has done? I don’t understand this and will never understand the influence he has had (and still has) with the team members and ABWE board.

        It is so hard to see the victims hurt, their loneliness and families hurting not knowing how to help them. It is so frustrating to have your daughter hurting and there is nothing you can do to help. So, anyone reading this please share your secrets. Do not let Satan win by convincing you to keep it a secret. Parents we need to hear from you also! Share the hurts and frustration you have. Not sharing how we feel as parents is hurting us also. Lets be open and honest as we, too, need help and prayer. Let’s be open so we can stop the secrets and get on with the investigation. The board kept this secret for many years and we need to get all things in the open with GRACE so there can be healing. And so that the secrets will be stopped.

  3. Patricia says:

    Thank you for your willingness to share such a painful event in your life. Your willingness to share helps others understand that the “secrets” an abused child keeps, is in part an attempt to survive and deal with such an unwanted and horrible situation. But the event that you so willing share opens our eyes and hearts to the fact that sometimes a child keeps a secret for reasons we may never understand. As I read it I found myself thinking what I would have told my child or grandchild. Run, scream, shout, do whatever you had to do to protect yourself, but I am looking at this from the eyes of an adult, not a traumatized child.

    We all can look back at some event at our childhood that are memories, but usually they are pleasant ones, and if not they are quickly forgotten, a fall off the swing, a broken arm, a sunburn, not pleasant but quickly healed.

    This is not the event you shared. What wrenches my gut every time I review this situation is this, every parent protects their child by giving them enough information to keep their child safe: If anyone, even an adult touches you in an inappropriate manner, tell an adult, any adult, they will help you.

    THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING ABOUT THIS SITUATION! The child did tell an adult, and the ADULTS ARE STILL NOT LISTENING, THEY ARE STILL AIDING THE ABUSER!

    HOW MANY MORE DAYS, MONTHS, and YEARS have to pass before these children get to see the horrificness of this situation, THEIR pain, THIER suffering THEIR loss of time VALIDATED!

    However the “secret” you share is an event that will never be forgotten. The more I hear from children and adults that were abused as children is their healing begins when the people they trust VALIDATE the child’s pain, openly declare the wrong and pursue justice for the wrongdoing.

    Over the past few days I have decided there is no benefit to call this organization ABWE. It is too generic, non personal, the people that are associated ON ANY LEVEL, missionaries, staff members and board members at ABWE I am calling you out. You are the ones that are refusing to VALIDATE the horribleness, the pain and the suffering of these girls, now the brave ladies of the blog. By your silence and support of the agency that continues to drain time from their lives, you refuse to seek justice, YOU ARE HELPING KEEP THE HORRIFIC SECRET!

    I pray each day that God’s people would move, and move quickly so that these ladies will be able to see their pain and the wrong is validated totally, completely and the secrets are kept no more!

    That is the choice here, keep the secrets at any cost because you love the org. called ABWE, or take a stand and demand action on behalf of these girls who through no choice of their own, but through the choice of their trusting Godly parents who were serving with ABWE an agency that promised to protect them, support them on all levels, be part of their team, and falsely told them ALL their members were on the same page, theologically, spiritually, and financially. And the KNEW they had a vile, wicked, sinful man in that camp and ABWE chose to keep it a SECRET to the benefit of the org., and they are still making the same choice today!

    Let me make it a little more clear, if ABWE had NOT kept the sinful choices of this man a SECRET if they had shared with the missionaries going to the field or on the field, this information: We are sending you to a field that has one of most highly regarded men, he is in fact a doctor, he has been involved in many sinful affairs with women, he uses his position as a doctor to gain the respect and trust of parents and children to abuse little girls, but go ahead and ignore this information and let your family be in close proximity to this pedophile, because his status as a medical doctor, his family heritage brings in mega bucks for ABWE so we will ignore his HORRIBLE sinful past and cover it at all cost among our org. when he can stay on the field no longer we will continue to keep the secret, because we care more about the PR of ABWE and covering our poor choices, than making things right with God and these families.

    No matter what press releases are put out, the proof of the above statement speaks volumes of the past and currant situation at ABWE, it is that simple: We care more about the image of ABWE as an org., the staff, the missionaries the board members past and present and covering the horrificness of our poor choices than we care about making things right with God and these families WHY what can possibly be the BENEFIT of keeping the SECRET.

    It is still working, they are still hidden in the SECRECY, and the missionaries, staff and board are still choosing to help them keep the SECRET!

    “Choose you this day who you will serve, as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD”

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