The moral of the story?  PREPARE.  Leaders need to know how to handle issues like this when they happen….because they will happen.  Why are churches and schools continuing to stick their heads in the sand and refusing to educate and prepare themselves?

You and YOUR MINISTRY can be prepared.  Call G.R.A.C.E.  We had them come give a seminar to our school and several churches in the Denver area on the topic of the prevention of and response to child abuse.  The information presented in that seminar was enlightening and invaluable.

PLEASE….I BEG YOU….please be prepared to handle the issue when it arrives at your door.  Prevent being another Joe Paterno.  If you want more information on holding a seminar in your area, call G.R.A.C.E. or get in touch with me, Diana Durrill, and I will help you get the ball rolling.  I urge you to take these steps.

ABWE – please, please follow Joe’s example and at least admit this much…”We were in over our heads with the Donn Ketcham tragedy and therefore, we grossly mishandled it to the detriment of at least one very, special mk girl, her parents and family.”

Diana Durrill

You can read the entire article here:

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/7462065/penn-state-nittany-lions-joe-paterno-says-know-how-handle-jerry-sandusky-abuse-report

After reading the following article by Andy Staples in Sports Illustrated, I couldn’t help see the parallels to our current quest for truth regarding the sexual abuse by Donn Ketcham and the cover up by ABWE over the years. I have removed Paterno’s name and changed his male victim to a female to help you see what I saw when I read it.

In all honesty, it’s hard to see anything anymore without being deeply affected by what I know happened to my dear friend. Interactions between my children and others are dissected, casual touches make me cringe, every motive is questioned. Why, because I didn’t question them before. I trusted blindly. The trust was broken.

…

“I waited several days to write this because my first thought was what I would do if someone did something like this to my child. My initial reaction — and I’m fairly certain most parents would feel this way — was homicidal. If someone molested my child, he would need the police to protect him from me. If I found him first, his death would be neither quick nor clean. I might spend the rest of my life in prison, though I’m not sure a right-thinking jury would convict me. Those were the first thoughts that popped into my head, and I’m not ashamed to say that. So why didn’t [Russ Ebersole or Wendell Kempton], [both men] who claim to have dedicated [their lives] to the [MKS], feel the same way? Why didn’t [they] do everything in [their] power to ensure [they]  helped protect kids who couldn’t protect themselves? I thought if I waited a few days I could look at the situation through a more rational lens. I can’t. Every time I think about it, I get more angry. And I pray that I can protect my kids from the monsters, because apparently not everyone feels the same responsibility. If  [Ebersole, Kempton, Loftis, Davis, Lloyd] would sit silently for years about this, [they have] no business representing [Christ] around the world.”

…

[They] can’t stand up to tough questions, because [they] have no moral leg on which to stand. If no one had made an accusation, it would be completely believable that [these men] didn’t know. [Their] inaction would make sense.

But someone did tell [them] …

…[acts] so heinous that the mere mention of [them] should cause any normal person to retch — exactly how extensive a report of sexual activity [did they] need to do the right thing and make sure the report [got] investigated thoroughly? No one gets a little bit fondled. … Beyond that, a grown man and a [very young girl] … That isn’t normal. That requires an inquiry. Yet [they] did nothing except kick the accusation [under the rug]. If [they] wanted the claim investigated, [they] could have made an investigation happen. [They] didn’t.

Still, we need to wait until the facts come out before judging [these men]. Maybe there is some reasonable, rational explanation for [their] silence. Can I honestly say that I would go to the police if a subordinate reported something like that to me about a longtime friend? Which person would I believe?

Remember that we’re talking about a [12]-year-old. Someone’s [daughter] who stands no chance to live a normal life. And let’s not forget anyone else who might have been harmed in the years between the [first] report and [now]. If the charges against [Ketcham] are true [and the evidence presented suggests they are], any molestation that took place between the [first report] of inappropriate actions and [now] is on the hands of everyone who knew. That includes [Kempton, Loftis, Ebersole. Davis, Lloyd...]

Forget it. There is no defense. There is no rational explanation. I hope, if placed in the same situation, I would protect the child. If I didn’t, may God have mercy on my soul….

…”May no act of ours bring [God] shame.”

Here’s a link to the original article.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/andy_staples/11/08/penn-state-joe-paterno-scandal/index.html?eref=sihp&sct=hp_t11_a3 

-Susannah Goddard Weldy

To many, Paterno’s fall from grace has come as a sudden and stunning shock. But in recent years, the football regime over which he presided like a god had begun to show signs of ethical decay. A search of media and court records by the Daily Beast reveals a program at Penn State marred by allegations of sexual aggression. At times those incidents met with apparent indulgence by Paterno and college authorities. Paterno’s failure to report Sandusky’s alleged assault was not the only time the head coach appeared to have an ambiguous approach toward members of his program accused of sexual misconduct.

And that’s how it is for those in the know about ABWE’s leadership in areas of sexual misconduct. Show me a child molester they turned over to authorities. You cannot tell me Donn Ketcham was the only child molester they ever experienced in their decades of missions and the only one they ever let slide through without so much as an actual discussion of facts with his pastor (they lied about that, remember?). It’s simply a statistical improbability that he’s the only one.

I will first warn you that this Facebook note from Tim Henderson, the pastor of Campus Crusade’s Penn State chapter, describes the events that are known about in some graphic detail, and so some of you may not choose to read it. (Or may choose to scroll down to where this favorite quote from the piece begins.) In it he says:

Guys, I want to suggest to you that what we’ve seen on campus this week, at multiple levels in the organization, and maybe in our own hearts as well, is a deficiency of love.

Who should be fired? Who should be in jail?  I don’t know.  The cops and judges and the Board of Trustees- that’s their job.  But do you think that if the witnesses, coaches and administrators had loved the boys who were being raped, they’d be quibbling about obligations? 

Love compels action.  Love moves to protect. 

What do you think? In our situation, has a deficiency of love for the victims–after all, many of those on the ABWE board and in ABWE headquarters have either never met any of the victims or have never seen them in the last 20-plus years–kept ABWE from doing the right things?

Does this come down to who you love more?

Or, for those parents of victims who still cannot decide whose side they are on, does it come down to obligations overriding love? To that I would ask, is a parent not obliged to stand with his or her child … even if the victimization happened 30 years ago?

And by NOT standing with adult victims who are brave enough to come forward, are we not victimizing them all over again? 

A friend provided us with this link to great thoughts on why people who seem to be capable of doing “the right things” in other areas of life could fall so horribly short in some really important ones. Again, it’s inspired by the sad story of Penn State.

A favorite quote from the article:

 I could write out a long list of names of good men and women I know personally, men and women of proven character and good reputation, who did not stand up for victims and instead protected a program or ministry. I’ve done it myself at times. Rocking the boat didn’t seem a Christian virtue in that moment.

Though good church people often value submission to authority over advocacy for the oppressed, God is clear on what we need to do with abusive authority.

Here you go:

WHEN GOOD MEN DO NOTHING

from theologyforwomen.org

“HOW PATERNO CAN BRING ABOUT HEALING“

“Protecting children is so important that we have to resist the idea of ‘let’s address this ourselves.’ That’s illegal and it’s also unwise,” Stetzer explained. (Read here.)

But to Ed Stetzer, I must say: How can you say these things when you are still associating yourself with ABWE and have not publicly condemned their incompetence and ignorance in the matter of child abuse?

Ed Stetzer (from ABWE.org)

You are probably saying right now: “Why call this man out publicly? Why didn’t you go to your brother in Christ before saying this?” And to you, I would say that I absolutely did go to my brother in Christ. Months ago. I warned him in an email that his staff assured me he would read. I said he should reconsider his relationship with ABWE and if he had any influence with them he should push for the right thing. I absolutely did what I could to warn him privately on May 6, 2011, and expressed my disappointment that he would be associated with such an institution and reminded him they carried his name and photo on their website. (MY EMAIL TO ED Page 1 and Page 2)

He walked right into this. 

I had no response from him, other than his staff’s assurance that he would read my email. And now that everyone is jumping on the child abuse reporting bandwagon, here he comes too, right out of the gate, having never responded to my private cry for help with an institution he is aligned with.

Ed Stetzer, I can only hope that you are pushing quietly for the right thing at ABWE with whatever pull you have there. But I cannot help but point out how strange it is that a man who considers care for children of the utmost importance and reporting to proper authorities of the utmost importance would still allow ABWE to use his name and picture on their website.

You were warned. I did the right thing. Now it’s your turn, Ed.

– Wounded MK

FAILURES TO ACT: WHY WE DON’T ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING.

Which of the reasons do you think ABWE would hold to as the reason they did not do the right thing in 1989 or in 2002 or even 2009 or even now?

“The Danger of Insular Communities” by Daniel Darling

What similarities do you see? Discuss in the comments below or head over to the BANGLADESH MKS SPEAK Forums. 

GRACE Investigation Update – November, 2011